Monday, 27 January 2014

THE FADED MEMORIES OF LOVE

Today was a strange day, a strange day indeed.

I never thought I would post anything at all today as the lack of sleep at all last night was bound to have me zombified all day. Also I would become more and more nauseous and tired as the day write on. I left the house fairly early with the intention of staying out as long as I could as this should help me sleep normal tonight. Added to this had I stayed here I would have spent the day fighting off the land of nod.
I went into my friends store and they were moving some things around in the store and I just chatted about my increased frequency of posts, that TPUC website and done if the news reports I had ousted about.

While I was there something quite bizarre happened.

Something quite unexpected that had me in a fair amount of surprise for the rest of the day and will not get over it for a fair while.

I was standing just inside the doorway when outside the shop door and standing in the scarce winter sunshine was a woman. Adorned with large sunglasses and bending back a little she looks at me and speaks and I can make out she says hello. I am wondering who she is and if she is taking to me when her identity occurs to me but cannot believe it could be her and do not want to call her by the name in case I am wrong. Now that WOULD be embarrassing!

She removes her sunglasses and sure enough it is her. I am somewhat astounded. It is Ruby and I have not laid eyes on her in about 4 years. I never thought I ever would again in all honesty.

I first met her around 5 years ago. I immediately liked her which I found somewhat strange for me and I think the feeling was mutual. She was popping into the ship I was hanging around in fairly regular fur a chat and we got in very well. So much so it was noticed by all and it was brought up in conversion...a lot. I spoke about us seeing each other and have her my number but it never happened. Never did quite out my finger on it but I must have put her off somehow.

Eventually she just vanished.

A year later she turns up in the shop and my late friend Old Ken is standing there when she walks in and I later found he spotted her straight away and thought she was very nice. I walked in from an unseen part of the shop and say hello. We stand outside the front and chat for awhile before she leaves. Ken, it turns out, was blown away that I knew her and that we got on so well and I Custer his home that evening and he could not so talking about it and how well we got on and looked like a couple. I kept telling him he was wrong and eventually had to tell him that this I'd his we was the year before and were going to date. But something went awry and it did not happen. Even so he was STILL convinced she would be back and we would date. I told him that it would not happen and a year before 4 or 5 mutual friends thought the same thing. Of course I have realised that someone I knew St the time could have scuppered it as she did do just that with two others, lol.

I bet Ken that I would not see her again and I didn't, well that is until today!

She stated that she did not live in the area anymore and I asked her shut her car which she no longer had. We charted for about ten minutes before she had to leave.

Not thinking she had been recognised my mate looked at me in a little shock and said "bloody hell, there is s boost from the past?!" Well it was his shop I originally met her in and he was one that noticed and thought she was into me! I reminisced about our late friend and how he thought that we were destined to date and how I must have born it somehow and just never figured out how.

I was tired and without sleep and fecking somewhat frayed around the edge so a little more vulnerable than I would otherwise be. I found myself wondering whether or not she would start to do what she did when we first met?! Now knowing where the new shop is and that I was now seen there would she pop up again? I wondered if it might be possible that she may have later regretted not dating me but then after a few hours I remembered how I had been through this before.

It seems lack of sleep, scarred from Fibromyalgia, battle weary and an excrement long time single just had that little feeling of the flicker of a flame of the possibility of passion and love reentering my life after a very long absence just might be detected bright a warm feeling of hope into my heart.

Did that giant floating finger of fate just decided that I do not have enough misery and longing in my life that it might remind me of a gaping hole in my heart?!

It sadly seems that way.

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