Saturday, 17 March 2018


It is funny as I was having this conversation with my daughter and it basically talked about being found by something I can only label as a saviour.

I thought about this somewhere between a year or two after I started blogging. Many I know thought I was wasting my time and that I would get nowhere. Odd as I thought only those that gave up got nowhere? After awhile they were surprised at the numbers I was getting and still are, but there hope of a year or two turned back into their original negativity. This comes about because their idea of what I am doing is very different from my idea of what I am doing and why I started doing it in the first instance.

There was one other thing they had not considered and this was a deeper understanding of what those numbers are. You might be now thinking about who they are that visit my various posts within this blog but more importantly it is what they do. Or at least with some of them.

I pointed out that out of the tens and now the hundreds of thousands that have visited my blog about what they do for a living? What they do as a career?

  • Solicitors? (well the ones with hearts)
  • Literary Agents?
  • Newspaper reporters?
  • Magazine article writers?
  • TV News investigative journalists?
  • Media Agents?
  • People heading up a cause fighting against all that I have been embroiled with?
    • NHS complaints
    • Police complaints
    • Local Council complaints
    • DWP complaints
    • Disability complaints
    • Help & Advice organisation complaints?
    • Ombudsman complaints
    • Retail fraud?
    • Bailiff complaints?

DO not bother with people like Citizen's Advice as they are useless, clueless and simply never get animated. Not if your even remotely like I am.

Once I had stated this people's minds began to tick over and you could very literally watch I happen as I talked.

I then said that they also needed to consider all the evidence that I provided, which is not even 10% of what I have, in all the recordings and documents I have posted.

What I had hoped they would realise and they did was that at some point there was bound to be people that had the careers listed above. Also that as each in turn visited that one of each might actually decide to pick this up and run with it?

Now what it takes in the numbers to achieve this I do not know and this is what I stated to my daughter on the phone. Would it take fifty thousand before I got a journalist? Or would it take more like half a million or more? Then how many of these would visit before someone realised there was something in all of this?

They would be, despite my best intentions, turn out to be veritable saviours.

Very recently we thought we found one? Or to be more accurate that he found us? In the beginning there was loads of big naming going on and big talk. But now we are not quite so sure and he is behaving very suspiciously and asking for unrealistic things.

As I said to my daughter either he has been bought out or the news media groups he is talking to are showing no interest because they have been ordered not to. Most likely because of me and this very blog and the damage I could do if it went mainstream?

At one point I was expecting to see my daughter here in London because he talked about her going off to London, First Class and in a top hotel before appearing on This Morning or even being interviewed by Panorama. These were just two of over half a dozen names he liked to drop like proverbial rocks. The Wright Stuff was another.

I simply do not know what is worse here .. the public services that have lied to us and cheated us or the one that stalked the courts like a Hawk .. contacted us and then not only showed us a way out but promised us too and then goes quiet. This goes on way over the longest period of time he states for things happening, which was one to six weeks, and has us getting down about it because he provided us with a nice snug rug and then pulled it from beneath our feet and while we was not looking. Sitting here like a couple of fucking melons thinking he was doing his thing and we would finally get justice for all of us and get out of the darkest of limbos we are trapped within. Cheers man, nice! You might just be about a month or two away from turning out worse than everyone else who at least told us they were fucking us as they did it. Through lies, yeah but we knew what to expect. Or at least I did except they went somewhat further than even I ever thought they would. If I had realised this earlier I could have done something to counteract this?

This agent also talked about setting up a site for donations saying that people like to gove money to causes like ours. Yeah well .. that does not rely on any media groups, newspapers, magazines or TV shows getting back to him about it. So why has he not set this up?!

I tried it but it didn't work. It might be like the 38 Degree GP petition that took over a week to get over 200,000 signatures to send to Jeremy Hunt about stopping the NHS paying General Practitioners to not refer patients off to hospitals and specialists. Also pay them not to give out expensive drugs too as I asked for Pregabalin for five years, was promised it .. they pulled it and they tried to label me as first mad and when that did not work they tried to label me as violent.

I had long since had my own saviour in mind and that was Google. Until little by little things came out about and against Google and I started to make me wonder?

The idea being that after helping as many people as I could for a very long time that eventually Google and their Adsense advertising would pay off. When it became obvious this goal always seemed to remain just out of sight it became obvious that getting the numbers would be hard. But then when it did arrive it would open the doors to other things. Effectively being its own way out for me and therefore I would be able to help others. Only that time of helping others became a necessity and occurred a damn site earlier than I expected it to. By about a year by my reckoning if I am honest.

Unfortunately as my plans were being shunted forwards without my being aware of it I was also going through my own thing with some public services that were supposed to be helping me. Only and quite unfortunately I was to get to the thirteenth hour, yeah literally and not the eleventh, I was to be stabbed in the back. By this time I had no way of stopping to pull the large knife from my back and then made a load of errors, caused by my short term memory issues, that were to become a real .. pain. I was then witness to the same public services stabbing someone else in the back I had relocated 240 miles away to help. This in turn was like being stabbed in the back a second time over while the first knife was wedged in my spine.

Of course once the numbers had risen above the level needed for a small and regular income to be paid each month the numbers would allow other things. Like publishing my bloody books at long last. I wrote them prior to staring this blog, had single literary agents interested but thinking they were too big for them and larger agents seemingly uninterested.

So I started blogging and left the books on the back-burner, so to speak, until such a time I might have commanded a large enough audience. I estimate that when my main and most popular of all my blogs goes from the 158,000 it is now to over 200,000 I would have finally reached this milestone? Fingers crossed!

My daughter has now found out that this waiting for something that is either inevitable of something that you have been promised is a killer. Especially when you have gone right past the longer of the time period you were promised by said person. I told her this is what I have had to deal with for a long time and that the only time something did work out in my favour and that being my inheritance .. someone stole half of it before it even arrived. The rest was taken because of the evil, bloodsucking Tory party and the evil vampire like public services and local government. Nice!

So .. we are still waiting on something that is a couple of weeks late without any data provided to date on when it might happen. Nice.

We are waiting to see if a court case gets won that would seriously help me raise my mood levels, get outta hell and help others.

We are waiting to see if the year long plus time span that has passed by since my adverts have been missing will now mean that I finally make an income?

Of course I am still waiting to see if someone will buy my Land Rover Discovery .. which might be kept .. depending on what happens with this effing media agent and mainly the outcome of the court hearing.

Waiting .. waiting .. waiting .. and .. waiting.

Oh and there is the other waiting to see if they admit and pay for a child with fairly severe Autism who is extremely loud, new neighbours have now complained, and extremely destructive as well as extremely wasteful. Yeah .. there is that. Hopefully it will take place before someone gets seriously hurt. A fatal cancer, very possibly a second case of Autism and .. two cases of disability that does not include the two with Autism. Yeah .. the shit is stacked against us if I am honest.

Though Wirral Council are going to have the arses sued off them at some point!

If this legal action succeeds it will expose twenty years of failures, fraud and conspiracy as well as a case of either incompetency in having the wool pulled over the eyes by a lying, scheming and evil thief or they wont prosecute because they teamed up with the perpetrator years ago and scared of what she might reveal in any legal battle. You pays your money you takes your choice on that one.

I always wanted to do something that might border on heroic .. actually and literally help people and .. feel like my life actually meant something .. in the end. The sad part of it is that with this eternal waiting it might take 'the end' before it actually means something?

But no we still wait .. still try our best and still .. work our arses off when and where we can and in some faint hope that something will pay off eventually. It is not only the waiting that is a killer in all this but also the not knowing. Not having a date where you can say 'yes it all goes uphill from here'!

So .. sad but .. I .. no, we have to go back to the .. waiting .. and hoping.


Well it is still going on .. but there are a couple of things I hve noticed about this 38 Degrees petition to Jeremy Hunt about buying General Practitioners off to not refer people to hospital ..

  • It has taken a lot longer than I thought to get to 200,000 signatures .. over a week longer?!
    • Amoral society, anyone?
  • No mention of punishment to anyone about giving these incentives or accepting 
  • The 38 Degree web-page manages to continue flashing up people donating and signing
    • Even when the Internet has been down for over an hour?!

I dud email 38 Degrees about this last point and have no no response.

In the email I told them that the one thing that gave me hope is organisations out there that help or start petitions to help causes are against the lies and corruption rife in central and local government as well as the rest of the public services. So why does their web-page appear to be lying to me?

You would think that a reasonable explanation would have been forthcoming? Being a website for good causes you do not want people thinking that they are lying to them too?!

Anyway the petition is still ongoing and I thought I would do an update while trying to drum up a few more signatures .. if the petition is legit, of course.


Note that the petition amount is 200,315 and is still rising but I noticed it slowed down a fair bit.

Made me think how odd this is and ..

  • Did a lot of people see it but mostly are amoral idiots that did not sign it?
  • Does even 38 Degrees and not reach enough people?!
  • Things go viral and I for one, and probably others, posted this on 3 separate Facebook pages, my own wall, one on Universal Credit complaints where I am one of the admins and .. on an NHS Corruption page .. so how has this not gone viral!
I heard of a recent report about a lady left in a hallway of a hospital for a couple of days with a broken back too?! Hmm just remembered that and let me take .. a look?

Ah .. found them .. one link to the story in The Mirror below and one by The Independent ..

Funny then that I watched BBC's Click and listened to a woman stating that they do not agree with robot/AI (Artificial Intelligence) Doctors and nor do they agree with this new health service where you deal with your health online and no need to see a GP. When asked if AI could ever replace a real Doctor you could see she was confused about how to answer before stating "I would be very surprised if it ever happened in my lifetime".

Yeah .. because you cannot lie to and fob off your patients to save money. 

Or in other words .. the fucking backlash you would get if the government started programming robots, Androids and AI to lie to the public would be catastrophic. They would show their depravity and everyone would ask .. what next?! 

The very idea of the rules about not causing a human harm would be broken at the AI's first inception of dealing with people. We are talking about health here so lying to and fobbing off human's to save money would be forcing them to endure their pain and therefore causing them harm!

Or in other words it wont happen in her lifetime because they will never be allowed to program AI, Robots or Androids to pull the tricks they have been pulling.

If she genuinely has no idea what has been going on in the NHS for a very long time then she is purely and simply extremely narrow minded. I have seen big changes going on already and even Spencer Kelly stated that all everyone is talking about now is AI. Graphics cards are being mass produced for deep learning projects and this is happening right bloody now! In ten years time it is going to be a very different place as far as AI is concerned and .. hell .. it is probably going to look very different in as little as five years. Did no one tell her about quantum computers?!


Oh and the very last link is one report by the Daily Mail asking why so many Accident and Emergency departments are missing broken bones?!

Yeah .. the last time I checked broken bones were not only fucking obvious and things that stands out but that x-rays were not that expensive, compared to things like MRI or CAT scans!


Damn it.

It has happened yet again. After two days of overdoing it without intending to I am back to being .. in something of a .. well .. state.

I cannot explain what this is like other than it is extremely .. harrowing.

For twenty four hours I have been in a bad way as I was last time this happened and I feel dead tired and extremely depressed. I am ratty and completely fed up with my situation and where I am and in all honesty .. others are not making it easy.

For instance I left the house yesterday and hobbled up to a vape shop after deliberating for an hour or two about whether I would be able to do it and how painful it would be. I am vaping more than usual because I stopped smoking about five days or so ago .. something else I forced myself to do to stop me going .. well, insane. I have to build my money up for various reasons most of them obvious and am amazed with myself for quitting smoking, if I am honest. Though it has not been easy.

So yeah I left the house and managed to get up there and back again and then back into my room which is tiny ..

  • 6ft x 9ft
  • Contains a bed
  • Contains a 29 inch wheeled bike
  • Contains a TV
  • Contains a PC
  • Contains a Laptop
  • Contains Two Cameras
  • Contains a whole raft of lenses, camera accessories in a large security box
  • Contains several camera bogs and a couple of rucksacks
  • Contains a chest of drawers
  • Contains a couple hundred blu-rays
  • Contains various other things
Plus I have a storage area I pay for each month that contains stuff I simply cannot get into this room at all and there is far too much stuff.

Added to this ..

  • TV signal is non existent half the time
  • Wifi signal fecks up half the time, often half way through uploading my photos and videos
  • Living room is out of bounds due to extreme narcissism of someone else affecting my sanity
I digress .. once again.

So I got back in the room, filled my vape tank with the Dinner Lady flavour of Lemon Tart and had barely vaped half of it when there was an ear piercing high pitched shrieking. It turned out to be the fire alarm outside of my room on the ceiling. I waited for someone to deal with it and then gave up, ventured into the hall and I guessed that I had to press the only button? No effect. So I pressed it harder and the noise stopped and the perforations of my eardrums could start to heal.

Suddenly the narcissist appeared at the bottom of the stairs "The fire alarm has gone off" they said before I answered "Yah think?". She then asked if anyone had anything producing smoke upstairs to which I said I had quite smoking five days earlier, not that anyone would notice .. because they don't .. ever. Notice anything. I said no before they then said that it must be my vaping, despite the fact that .. well .. they had just watched me walk in the house. I also pointed out that it can't. Then they disappeared before someone else appeared in the upstairs hallway saying "What is all that noise?" and do not seem to know a fire alarm when they hear one? I said it was the fire alarm and in an odd dig of a statement, I have had about a few things, they said it must be my vaping. "Oh .. don't you start!" I said before they said "well it must be, what else can it be?!" before I then said "I have been vaping for six weeks here and it has not happened before and I have also only been back in the house for five minutes!" to which they then walked downstairs.

So far I have been ribbed about my vaping, smoking, diet, drinking of soft drinks and even wanting to catch buses. Plus despite never being registered with a Doctor .. they are also medical experts and can tell you what they do not have.

Yeah .. you could be forgiven for forgetting, if indeed you had read it recently, that I came here with the only one registered with a disability .. suicidal, slashes on my arm after finding out that my daughter has cancer, my granddaughter is Autistic to dangerous levels, made myself homeless again trying to help them and live 250 miles away from home and .. my daughter and I have been lied to, not supported nor given any financial help at all, hence my loss savings, and left for dead by the public services that are paid a large portion of the taxpayers money to help people that are vulnerable.

Yeah .. you might think that people could be a little more accommodating and a little less .. 'diggy' towards me and even a little helpful? Yeeeeah .. no.

When I compare this to what I just did for four months and that I felt guilty for leaving when and the way I did, even though my daughter and I were victims of a bunch of evil lies and that is from my evil ex, it boggles my mind. Yeah .. they do not appreciate that either and yet I basically get called a selfish twat to my face and behind my back by the narcissistic one that thinks their mild epilepsy is worse then someone else's terminal cancer?! Yeah .. no kidding there and I so wish that I was.

Of course yesterday the digging was at a time when I was low and the worst part about it is they should not only know by now that I would be down, because of the two days, but one was told as much yesterday morning. Of course I then get a run down of the latest thing that she thinks that she has and I heard her talking to the waster or a partner the morning before as she was reading things out from a webpage from her phone and I heard "See? It causes diabetes .."

Yeah .. they do not have diabetes.

They have spent a few minutes hobbling around the house with a walking stick .. I mean who does that? I do not know nor have ever known anyone that uses a stick that actually uses it around their own house! Unless your particularly bad with some affliction. You certainly do not walk around with it one minute and then without it an hour later before then using it again a few hours later. Oddly the two times it was used was walking around the kitchen when she had just called us for dinner so knew we would be appearing. The ONLY times I have seen it in her hand. Also bizarrely it has also only appeared in the last two weeks out of six and since I had my first couple bad days and was limping around. It is a competition with her for sympathy .. except she does not get any and neither do I and nor do I want any. In fact even when I am bad and feeling ratty because no one down here has helped and, in fact, has been quite the opposite .. I get annoyed with myself because I cannot do everything  myself. I so hate being independent, or at least I was to some degree, while feeling like I am dependent, because I have trouble doing things on my own.

Right now I am supposed to be going to my storage facility which I still have not sorted out or moved into a smaller and therefore cheaper unit?! Yeah .. over six weeks.

My own daughter who grew up in a strange land does not understand how some people are with me down here. She does not understand the lack of help, lack of understanding and nor the digs I get about things. She certainly does not understand the narcissist at all.

In fact my daughter wants me back there and I would love to be back there .. helping her .. except ..

  • I need money back behind me - court case over that in a couple weeks
  • I still need to do my work - blogging and photography (see below)
  • My equipment can not be kept at my daughter's house .. my Autistic granddaughter would destroy it
  • I am missing a PC that can edit my photos and videos (spent allocated money helping MY family)
  • It is a three bedroom house and .. there are five of them, I would make six
  • Public services did not give a shit which was how the liar managed to twist things, lie and drive me away
Oh and two important things to note of late ..

  • The media agent is being an incompetent twat and now very obviously dragging his feet after all his fucking promises have been broken and now looking to be lies .. or he has been paid off which even my daughter is now beginning to think ..
  • A GP Surgery refused to register me and to everyone's shock down here .. umm .. knew my name?!
  • To the last one my social worker friend went mad over this "How can they know your name?!"
To that last point I told my friend "exactly" but that I already knew and he said "Why didn't you ask them?" to which I replied "Oh yeah, like they are going to tell the truth and say 'Oh the NHS called around a load of Doctors in the area and warned us you might walk in'?!"

How can a surgery know someone's name before it is given to them and especially when my last GP is located 250 miles away in Birkenhead and I am in a surgery in Hackney in central London?!

Even my mother was in complete shock by that t the point where she did not try to take over the conversation and said "What? How could they know that?!" to which I replied ..

"I have told you and have tried to tell you repeatedly for a few years now .. I am public enemy one, two and three to the public services in this country"

Friday, 16 March 2018


Well that is .. annoying.

I have now been out two days on the trot for the second time and for the second time in as little as  week, or maybe two, I am in agony and unable to go out .. even with all my pills.

This time it was the same thing once again .. trying to do work I was unable to do for around 90% of last summer. Trying to play catch up, you see, with what I missed out with last year. Wildlife photography and bokeh (Japanese for blur) photography with the camera I spent a hell of a lot of money on.

I had not done anything in the line of bokeh all of last year. Well a couple of photos of Rapeseed flowers but that was using an f2.8 lens. I had since bought, again refurbished but not realising it at the time, a Sigma f1.4 85mm lens I had not really taken any photos with. That has now changed. Though I will feel a lot happier once I have well above a couple of hundred half decent photos that are online.

My feet hurt, my hips hurt, my back hurts and my shoulders hurt and last night I literally fell asleep while trying to work on the photos. I never got to develop even a single RAW file photo before I was unconscious and woke at around 4am with my computer still on! I had managed to upload a few videos.

Of course I left the f2.8 70-200mm lens and Teleconverter behind due to their immense weight, probably 3 to 4 kilos worth. This is because I went out looking for early appearing flowers to photograph as it was also going to be sunny. I see Daffodils, Crocuses and a few others but, thank you again you useless weather people, no sun. What else could go wrong? Well I could see a rare bird I have never taken photographs or videos of before and maybe regret not taking the f2.8 70-200mm?

Guess what? I saw some birds I had never previous taken videos or photos of before?! Bloody nice ones too! Red Crested Pochards!

Good God I need a car!

Dealing with the pain is .. damned hard and I do not know how long it will be before I am able to leave the house again. I hope it is not like last time, where it was three days and I was still in pain?!

Yeah .. those last ones were in 1080p and I got them because I took my Nikon P900 cameras as well as my Sony A99II thinking that the light P900 only weighs a fraction of that of the f2.8 70-200mm G Series Sony lens .. so I did get 4K video too .. eventually ..

Maybe I will get the RAW photos done today but here are a few of the bokeh shots I have waited to do for a long time ..

Also trying to get an early feel for it, as it is still March and these are the first flowers. Trying to get a feel for what works and what does not ..

Sunday, 11 March 2018


I sometimes stop and think about all the things that I have stated online. I get angry at times and other times just passionate and I allow this to show through to get my point across. Well .. that is the hope.

The truth is what happens now with anything out there cannot make much of a difference to me, so why do I do it. Because it is the right thing to do.

You simply cannot progress as a society if it is a society based upon lies, deception, corruption and an attitude that leans towards everyone being amoral.

I also do it because of the life that I have had and the number of times I have sunk down deep through no fault of my own and this has all come about from .. trusting people. Added to this was trusting the public services as you do not expect the Police, health professionals and local government to be lying scumbags that will simply let you suffer pain and mental anguish. But they do.

What ires me about it all is this is the same people and organisations that would not allow things like voluntary euthanasia. Because they believe it is wrong and very likely from some deluded religious belief.

Sorry but they are wrong and they are all hypocritical and the fact that they nor anyone else sees it is nothing less than staggering. Simply staggering.

This has now long since extended from normal people that are jobless to disabled people and now even children. As of right now this has spread to disabled children and how long that has gone on for I simply do not know.

The worst part about it all is the deceit. They say they are for the people and that their intentions is to help but they have proved over and over again without a shadow of a doubt that these are all lies.

A year ago I was in my own home .. with my disability and had secretly spent a long time trying to create an .. income for myself. Or spent a very long time building up to this point. Then they decided to change everything around. I had worked my way up with my camera equipment getting an ever better camera on each occasion but after more than six cameras I had still not acquired anything even regarded as semi-professional. Nothing that took RAW images, for one example, and nothing that was waterproof as another example and nothing that possessed a fast lens fr artistic images for yet another. Then I could talk about focusing speeds, ISO levels for photos in disappearing light levels and viewfinders. All these things all combine to increase you getting 'that shot'. Or in other words an increased number of usable photographs in any given situation that wont break if it rains when your out. Simply owning cameras that are not waterproof would put you off leaving the house with it at the slightest chance of rain on any given day. Whole days of not taking a single photograph.

So it is hard to imagine that now owning a professional camera and several lenses, though minus the most important lens, that I now find myself without a home. That I have found myself having dozens of days where I have simply wanted to die.

I have thought about selling my camera equipment but that would put me back to where I was an minus a shed load of money and tools and .. well quite simply .. I would rather die. What would be the point? You work your butt off and then manage to find a way to acquire the tools you need and then a bunch of others, mostly governmental vampires telling outright lies, fuck you over as soon as they see a chance.

It is unbelievable when I think of the number of things that have gone wrong ..

  • Google's Software (I have worked for over 5 years)
  • Google's Advertising (Them assuming their software just works when it does not)
  • Job Centre (Pressure for me to start my own business)
  • Personal Independence Payments (Lying and taking away half my income)
  • Disability Living Allowance (Refusing to pay and/or backdate Autistic child's DLA)
  • Two Local Councils, Wirral and Enfield (Not even getting started)
  • NHS in so many departments and in so many ways (DITTO)
  • Help Organisations that simply don't listen (CAB and others, did effing warn them)
  • Help Organisations that think they have to help in ONE area (though several needed help in)
  • One MP (Did email Frank Field about all this)
  • Work & Pensions Select Committee (Did email them about all this!)
  • Social Workers (Constantly lied, refused to help but kept sticking their noses in regardless)
  • Family Support (Did fuck all)
  • Victim Support (Did fuck all and tell mother to “Get on with it” and is “Just like everyone else”?!)
  • Two Police Forces have not exactly helped either!

So yeah ones just off the top of my head.

If you cannot get any help, support or even sympathy when you have three disabled people and one with cancer whose best friend as just lost a baby with a week to go to term then I am sorry .. but there is no help for anyone ..

Unless of course help and support is only due if you possess a lot of money or you are a celebrity in one industry or another? I mean if that is how it is then just say so. Do not mislead tens of millions of people into thinking that they are important when they are not and .. not allowing voluntary euthanasia while allowing mental anguish, pain, suffering starvation and exposure to go on for week after week, month after month and year after year is just fucking utter madness and the worst kind of hypocrisy.

Watch TV and anyone would think we are a nation of moral people that would not put up with anything and especially actions against other human beings that had adverse and especially long lasting effects.

My own plan was the increase the frequency and content of wildlife on my YouTube channel and my two blogs, exotic and native, as well as that as some artistic photography. Also being more relaxed my writing would improve.

None of these things really got a chance to happen and some only getting a slight increase over a few weeks before ceasing altogether.

I ended up in a house where anything expensive got broken within days if you was unlucky and weeks if you was lucky and this was getting worse. I also used up money intended for the last few tools I needed. So I am actually missing four things I intended to purchase and I would be happy if I just had two of those right now .. along with somewhere to live, of course.

I am not relaxed enough for my writing to improve and being creative is impossible in the current climate and I have no light at the end of the tunnel right now.

Someone was supposed to provide a light at the end of this damned tunnel .. well in fact they talked about this damn light but then walked away and after a couple of weeks turned off the lamp without any explanation .. just the occasional feeble excuse.

Things are up and down .. unfortunately far more down than they are up and .. this is most .. annoying.

I have to visit a Doctor this week .. or a surgery and yessss .. another bloody one! I simply have no choice.

I am having issues sleeping too some nights and this is becoming a worrying trend. A very worrying trend.

A question I often ask myself, though I mostly know the answer, is “Oh God, why are things so fucking hard?!” Really what I mean is why do you end up in these low moments where things seem to go wrong unexpectedly. You cannot plan for the unexpected.

Unfortunately when central or local government or the public services suddenly decide they are going to change things to cover up their own fuck ups .. things suddenly change for the worst. That is not only immoral but totally unfair.

We are all in this together!” stated George Osborne.

For millions of people and growing .. that statement has proved to be one of the biggest lies in recent memory and one that will be remembered for the longest of times .. for all the wrong reasons. Still, maybe at some point in the future maybe this attitude will be stamped out and never happen to anyone ever again? With that twat's name going down in history as a lesson to not to lie to the people before you start sectioning them off and kicking each group in the teeth and destroying their lives.

Lost count of the number of times I have had my head in my hands or a hand on my forehead wondering how I am supposed to get things done or what I am supposed to do? Trying to think of ways to help others while at the exact same time trying to figure out ways of helping myself.

But .. wait a minute? Are there not dozens of advice and help organisations out there?! Well .. kinda but when you have been through their utterly stupid procedures to even get ti talk to them they are utterly useless and often clueless when you do! The best part is if the government change something that is clearly immoral and inhumane these advisors then say things like “Oh .. it is just very difficult now” as if they are right in what they are doing or they cannot fight these actions that are clearly crimes.

I have to try and see someone .. or a few people about things that have excessive waiting times when I do not have the time and these things or help is needed immediately in these cases .. not in six weeks bloody time.

It is like there is a secret government within government” is what someone said to me several years back while I was on a nature reserve filming Banded Demoiselle Damselflies. I wonder what she thinks today?

Saturday, 10 March 2018


I have not revealed very much on here of late .. believe that or not.

This was to protect good things happening to someone else but all I seem to have done is protect the corrupt and evil ones and a .. vampire. A vampire who is beginning to either look like the most incompetent dick you have ever come across or .. paid off.

The being paid off thing keeps coming back to my mind but .. I am sure that those at the end of the line are already controlled. But I suppose that is just one media and that is TV. Books and magazines I'm not quite so sure about and that was the start of the process.

Anyway along with whatever it is going on their unfolding, as we have no fucking idea, the public services are doing their usual fucking crap.

"Oh you have to just get over it" a so called Family Support woman said about three people when it was explained that an unborn baby had just died one week from term. Which I looking to be the hospitals fault and being sent home with the baby still inside her and dead two days earlier. It just doesn't bear thinking about. Who in the hell would want to chance living through that from now on?!
Also .. and despite it being originally the idea of the mother .. the social worker is pressing her hard to move. Because it's out of their area. I did ignore the bitch .. tell her what I've always told you about them. Tell them about the blog, I've had enough of the way they are treating you.

They are and have been not only don't fuck all but all want her to fall over while deliberately holding out their proverbial legs in the hope she trips up.

Another example I discovered my youngest granddaughter had a convulsion at school. Why did she have a convulsion, I asked. Because her temperature gets too high, she replied. I replied, what? What dues that even mean? You do not have convulsions just from your temperature being too high, there must be something being triggered? She answered "exactly" which meant she tried to tell them there was more to this. She had, had convulsions before.  This is not the seriously Autistic one that's more than a handful on her own.

Now I'm going to appear to sidetrack a little but I'm soo not.

I have a disability that stems from a sleep disorder. One of the things you experience, or I do but not for a few years, is being unable to sleep.

I cannot stress enough how much of a bloody nightmare this is, caused like so many other things by Fibromyalgia.

On the odd nights I used to go without sleep when I was much younger it was not so bad. But these days it's a bloody nightmare!

Now this was an every single night thing .. a fucking horrible thing on its own. It went on for years and no matter what I did if I slept at all or was because I hadn't slept the night before or it wasn't until anywhere between 3am, at the very, very earliest, until now likely 5am to 8am and as I said .. that's if I slept at all! Meaning that I would normally wake up between 11am and 1am and I absolutely hated that too.

This went on for several years .. three .. four .. might have been as many as eight?! I can't recall but it was many years.

Then one day it stopped just as quickly as snapping the proverbial fingers.

Yeah .. well since being back in London I've had a few nights .. two in the last three nights. Hmm, might be four nights? Anyway ..

Remember I said it might seem like I have sidetracked a little? Well ..

The exact same thing is now affecting my daughter?!

If your an evil one checking this out to use it?! Yeah it's time and date stamped and plenty of people read this blog!

This was one of the reasons I wanted her to speak to a Doctor about the Fibromyalgia, she did and was basically fobbed off with that and many other things.

If she had four normal children and because she lived alone there were many possible symptoms that could arise that could make her life a living hell.

I have had enough trouble over the years dealing with this with only myself to look after! I never eve thought about anyone with the same symptoms that had children to look after?!

Well this is now happening to my daughter!!

While someone else keeps bringing up the recently deceased child in an attempt to make her crack .. as this person can then grab a child she grabbed once before so she can get extra money. Yeah .. that happened and is explained on this blog in great detail and several years back too .. and I DID IT just for events like these because I knew they were coming and ..


See what I did there? Drah up something else I had predicted long, long ago and finally proved what I was stating back then .. that they was taking away and quite deliberately so, everyone's basic human rights. Christ, the Tories even went to court recently to try and take that away from disabled people while another Tory stated that disabled children should be taken to the guillotine. 

Some should watch an old ghost story film starring George C. Scott called The Changeling. Yeah I think that man in the story, not George C. Scott, must have descended from the Tories in the UK? 

Everyone is either waiting or trying to cause my daughter to crack up for no other reason that shifting a lot of blame .. yeah sorry but that is never going to work. Or for personal gain and .. yeah, once again that is never going to work.

Then out of the blue and as I predicted someone comes a long with a website that could be better and offer a way out and a way out that would take place in anywhere from one to six weeks.

"Oh six weeks from now you wont even be living here!" he stated when my daughter said she could get some carpet for her new house. The only way you say something like that is when you think that the person will make so much money that they will buy their own home.

First payment was supposed to take place in six weeks .. another donations fund would be set up and magazines and the words 'serial' was used several times. He text or phoned most days for about two weeks and then it just stopped.

Upon being asked if anything had happened he simply replied "scheduling takes time, it can take months" and I said so is the man a liar or a fucking idiot that does not know his own profession? IF .. you can call it a profession?!

Yeah well .. take a wild guess at what period just went by without a fucking thing being known? The six week period where the first cheque was supposed to be arriving and we do not even have a fucking date!

Soooo take a guess at what we both think is going on here?! From one extreme full of talk to one day suddenly everything going quiet? If you peruse this blog far enough back you will find this exact same thing happening to me once before .. an interception took place back then.

"You were right, Dad. You have been right about everything!" and my daughter was talking about the last ten years .. not the last few weeks.

I fucking wish to God I had been wrong about everything, I really do and for both our sakes and that of my grandchildren's. But we are now being condemned to a slow death while suffering so that it does not show up as a series of murders, basically.

I get annoyed ften when I write and it probably shows but that is because I get annoyed that the British people might now all think like these Tories and public services?

The extreme left and the extreme right both treating the British people like trash and willing to kill them off, effectively culling them, to help them with their numbers and spreadsheets. Despite the fact that they cannot count!

Oh yeah .. if I have heard nothing constructive from this so-called agent in a week he is getting an email and if nothing happens within two weeks after that I am naming him on here because .. he has broken a shed load of rules and would look to have been bought off by then. Would not be the first time with me, either!

He said a load of shite that did not happen. I even had to talk my daughter back down to Earth stating that it wont happen within a week that is a vampire like bullshit to get you to sign a document .. in other words it sales talk and take no notice of it. I said it is more likely to be four to six weeks but, yeah .. any earlier would be great.

It could have ended her woes and I could then return to help her so she can sort out her various illnesses .. yeah Fibromyalgia and one lot of cancer. I say 'one lot' because that was the first of three separate lumps they looked at. They have not looked at the other two yet!

Yeah .. I fucking kid you .. NOT!

Oh yeah and the dumb-arses are unaware of one more thing .. I have fucking recordings!! What? Did you actually think I would ever stop?! Dumb-arses!!

Oh and the last time I looked? Yeah this would have been prior to moving up to the dreaded Wirral and I had passed 500,000 visitors.

So since then .. probably around July 2017 but may have been months earlier .. I passed half a million visitors. So I am now heading for a million. For all I know I may have passed this milestone? I doubt it, but you never know. I did have at least one post go a bit mad and was read thousands of times just in the first few weeks. Typical it was about Aussie flu and so was a self-preservation stampede. I was hoping it would kill me personally. Lol.

Now you see why I worry about having nothing in place to declare my death or, God forbid, OUR deaths should anything happen?

The likelihood increases all the time.

Friday, 9 March 2018


Well what do you know?

The secret reviews of Universal Credit they have fought so hard to keep hidden are ... Abysmal!! 

There's a surprise!!

You know the problem with telling the country you know better than they do? Do you know the problem with successful governing? Not letting the public ever find out that you cannot admit when your wrong.

This is a hard lesson in politics that's about to be learnt by every single fucking idiot that is a member of the Morons Party .. sorry .. Conservative Party.

Never ever have the attitude that your the smartest person in the room, metaphorically speaking, and never then try to hide that you got it wrong. Because it always .. comes out. Always!

Esther McVey, a favourite of mine and regularly full of shit whenever she was on TV, now will look like a pratt along with the rest of the Tories. Incompetent twats at that that are the fucking biggest liars since Tony Blair.

It gets better ..

I also read in the report below that Esther McVey is an advisor for the Samaritans?!

Say fucking what now?!

They're joking, right?

The Samaritans are joking, right?!

What the actual .. fuck?!

Oh my good God! I've woken up in a live episode of the Twilight Zone?!

Oh sorry .. sidetracked there ..

Ten reviews and guess what every single one of them states?


Ten reviews and ten failures. Not one single positive review .. but then ..

There are plenty of dead people, dead mother's and dead children that would like to add to this but ..

The dead don't talk and the TV news says fuck all about any of it.

Unless it's mentioned in part in the pointless House of Commons that's used merely as a battle ground for sound bites and .. laughter.

Well at least when it's finally all out the TV companies will be flogged (metaphorically .. I think?) by the public along with politicians.

Esther McVey? Advisor to the Samaritans? I've fucking heard it all now! There's nothing left, in giving up and going home after that one!

So .. let .. me .. get .. this .. straight?

Esther McVey kicks me in the nutes so hard I want to kill myself or work in constant pain and anguish while not being able to afford to rent somewhere to live and then tells the Samaritans to tell me I should not do that and keep going?!

Your fucking joking, right?!

Religious nutjob?!