Wednesday, 31 July 2013


Hmm I want to day more about this one but am too tired, lol.

Might come back and edit this but it is very bad sport for a solicitors because they are decent and stick the the letter of sorry cannot type that and keep a straight face!

Still looking fire an honest, decent, compassionate and honourable law firm who believe in justice and human rights and but whether they can but their new Jaguar with their fees as their only concern?!

Will if they did but think like that we would but be in the mess we are in. It is a team effort and I have nicknamed them the iTEAM, putting the 'i' back in TEAM, LOL.

Fellow back scratchers all in a line who now won't admit it was them and refuse to do anything about it and want the people they lied to to get in power to pay for it while they lie and Blane these people for it?! Their only crime was believing their BS!

Rowling law firm pays out over leak


I feel strongly about this one myself.

Other than the obvious fact of escaping physical pain, mental suffering, misery or any combination thereof I have another take on this.

I find this stance so utterly strange when everything else under the sun can be done to an individual that causes the most unbelievably horrific thoughts, feelings and pain and you have no rights and no access to law to stop the culprits from doing this!

So how is it that the law suddenly LEAPS INTO ACTION with this subject?!

You can be repeatedly kicked, defrauded, attacked, stabbed in the back, left in pain  left in limbo and left on the gutter and homeless as well as being lied to by Doctor's and Hospitals and you cannot do JACK and no one cares but wants to help. But take your own life is a no-no?!

It is no different to saying 'no, you have to stay here and take all the shut treatment you get, take the stress, take the pain, watch people you love living a nightmare and you just have to such it up! You have no rights either to put a stop to being treated like garbage and we have been extremely good at removing every escape route too!'

I have thought this way for so very long and when I re-started many things that were left dormant in my life to get answers to questions I tried to Durer many years I knew two things...

1) That I would not find out anything and but be diagnosed or treated.

2) That I was going to do all that with this right to die being repeatedly refused as I journeyed along my path.

Indeed and I can tell you right here and right now is that one of the just of things I have insinuated at which was an intention was that as my journey would reveal things to everybody little by little, our indeed many by many lol, that with each week it would make the while system and law look more and more pointless as well as contradictory in nature to make the government, and previous governments, look utterly incompetent and the system exposed for the absolute joke it is.

Oddly enough I do wonder whether or not the faction behind this, like the loonies in America, that this is driven by a faction who follow something which had been obvious to everyone but them not only does not exist but not possible...RELIGION!

Everyone had always harped on about tolerance levels and you're right to believe but for the love of....ZEUS, get a grip! You cannot force things upon people or make or keep laws based on religious beliefs or factions any more?!

It is forcing and manipulation and besides this there are bloody loads odd religions your cannot cater for them all!

The human race really needs to sort itself out and start to be more grown to and mature about things. Unfortunately I know I won't live long enough to see this happen, lol.

Hmm my phone had been slowing down a great deal last couple of days especially posting on Blogger?!

Right-to-die campaigners lose battle


Now this is quite it really is unbelievable!

After someone had been arrested for the rape threats who bloody moron goes and makes bomb threats?!

I mean forgetting the fact that these people are sad misguided twats they go and use the worst possible word you could use on the Internet in a threat?! So close to the report yesterday and the Newsnight program featuring social media threats?!

I cannot help thinking that it is just done oddballs or people with mental health issues or just attention seekers trying to get attention?!

Unless these have been going in awhile in which case just what the FECK have Twitter been playing at?

I said before that these companies have surged ahead and all they can see in their peripheral vision are dollar or pound signs. I also stated several times that this works give to no good and they the government have ignored and ignored and ignored it and when requested to do something about this runaway crap you can bet they were cocky about it in the House if Commons. Not so cocky now though?! But while typing thief I myself have realised they there would be another aspect to all this...

..people with mental health problems of an aggressive and violent nature have the ability to rile or threaten anyone. There alone was one very good reason to do something about it. I also cannot believe that there have not been a deluge of complaint of how private companies have treated their customers?

I would live to be the one to throw the book at them and gone up with rules and regulations to make them stop every doing it again, lol.

Female journalists face bomb threats


Well I'm finally out on the bike now the gears are done? Only they were not and I had to stop several times and get it my new multi tool!

They are near as damn it but what should take me half an hour had taken twice as long.

Well the Met Office website and their app said that in my exact location out would stop raining from around 11am to midday and not rain again for 48 hours? Cool.

So here I am in a Bird Hide at 13:07 and I have just dried out while watching out rain upon a lake?!

Never before had there been a year where they have got it so utterly wrong so consistently. In fact I have to wonder if still the money, equipment and rest if the budget had gone on office parties?!

Larger and larger while ever more powerful computers have been built to predict the weather but while I have stated in the past you cannot get this right 100% if the time I would have been happy with 50% of the time!

I have been caught out do many times this year in so many ways I have lost count. Do they just say something that us normally appropriate for time of year?! Lol. Steve days you might s will just look out the window in the morning!

I could hazard a guess that if I out that to them they would harp on about global warming, sorry climate change but I would say well that is bloody old news and besides that the software us supposed to PREDICT the weather that is why they cost millions of pounds to build!!

Oh and it is now 13:13 and the rain if now getting heavier!

Thank heavens for these dozen our do bird hides scattered about as I am over 5 miles from home. Still even thigh I'm in my bike other so called wildlife enthusiasts are if the fair weathered, not fair feathered, variety so I do not have to listen to stupid terms like 'common' our 'plastic', lol. So it will be quiet and maybe, just maybe I will capture one or two things on photo or film I have not done before hand?

Fingers crossed getting wet will be worth it? Haha. Still I don't care really just get worried about this dodgy phone and camera getting wet as I do not know what I would do without them right now. I one I would have to rely on them for a period of time. Only at first I thought it would be 6 months for one and a year for the other. One had been replaced for something a bit better while the other on dodgy ground. I then thought I would have to make do with the phone for another 6 months and the new camera 6 months. I am at that stage right now and no signs of the upgrades I so desperately need.

Maybe another 6 months? Lmao!

Oops front facing camera, ooh well I'll leave it there, lol.




Dear Sirs

Dr John Gubbay
Abernethy House Surgery
Silver Street

This is a breakdown report of complaints about both the GP named above and the running of the National Health Service

Despite my many correspondences over this previously they have yet to garner a single response so I am laying out a statement of intent along with a complete breakdown of the above Doctor along with the two previous Doctors all within a 1.5 MILE Radius of my home.

I suggest you pay close attention. Also note beforehand that Dr Gubbay loves to type away at his keyboard while you are trying to talk to him which is rude if I am honest and makes him appear to not be paying attention and completely distracted.

John Gubbay

  1. When I first met him I requested being changed from Tramadol to something better. He asked how many I was taking and I said 100mg daily and he said well why don’t I just raise it to 200mg? I answered that I thought the maximum daily amount was 100mg as that was what my last GP told me! I had a reserve of Tramadol after a month I noticed was half what it was, I told Dr Gubbay I was getting the wrong amounts and he said I was wrong. Well turns out HE was wrong and he had NOT changed my dosages on the system?! Odd as he types like a bat out of hell and I should know I am BSc Applied Computing!
  2. I discovered that my medical records have been altered, falsified and had certain things BOTH added and REMOVED?! AS this was handed to me by the GP when I saw him next I told him the Medical Records were fake and who would be able to do this and he answered “why are you asking me that?” and I answered “well I thought you would have a better idea than my postman?!”
  3. I was referred to a Neurologist, Dominick Mort, who I passed in the main hallway of Chase Farm Hospital and he did a double take when I walked by him and I knew he was Dominick Mort despite never having met him before. This means that he has seen a picture of me and I am unaware of the NHS keeping pictures or patients?! I pointed out to him when it did turn out to be him that I somehow KNEW he was Dominick Mort and he remembered passing me. I was lied to over the test and I was lied to about the process of the tests which were amazingly negative.
  4. I am prescribed Gabapentin by a separate Doctor not linked to this and told they are for Neurological Pain only and have it explained ow they work. Only when Doctor Gubbay states that I do NOT have a NEUROLOGICAL DISORDER, despite three others stating that I do and I also have Restless Leg Syndrome which makes him WRONG, I put to him 'but the Gabapentin ARE working which is the first ever drug in twelve years to have any effect whatsoever on my foot pains?” He replies that I knew to be bullshit immediately “Oh Gabapentin is just a painkiller!” which has been lambasted on the Internet by a great many people and also a local NURSE I know!
  5. The most stand out complaint though and one that will force me not to return to his surgery so that I do not punch his lights out, despite how he may deserve it for being an arrogant, cold, cocky and ignorant TWAT is that when he referred me to Kings Oak BMI Healthcare in Chase Farm Hospital I was seen by a Darren Francis. He thought there was no hernia in my groin and I THOUGHT there was no hernia in my groin.
    a) I had ultrasound where the chap found the area of pain that was a large black patch and he had no idea what it was. He also scanned the other side he found a hernia. Martin Klein had stated it was weak that side and I would need a SECOND mesh inserted, that was four years ago!
    b) Prior to going back to Darren Francis for the prognosis I told family and friends I was dreading being told they would have to operate on my entire groin and that I would be off my feet for months?!
    c) When I saw Mr Francis he said 'yup happy to tell you ultrasound showed nothing'?! When I pointed out that he must be speaking about a different scan to the one I attended he fumbled around, stutter, looked nervous and then picked up his ancient dicta-phone and dictated a NEW LETTER to my GP?! HE LIED!!
    d) When I FINALLY SAW my GP after him being on his ninth holiday in last than a year which itself was very suspicious I told him that the letter he received was not the original letter they intended and why. He then said 'What are you talking about your ultrasound was clear?!' Confused I looked at the screen and sure enough it seems he, or they, decided to BIN the NEW LETTER dictated in front of me and send the original one. When I explained what REALLY happened I was accused of being MAN and paranoid so I had to then DIVULGE a couple of things that I had not wanted to purely because I do not TRUST ANYONE. I told Dr Gubbay that he should not worry because I have an audio recording of Darren Francis admitting that I did have a hernia and the dictation of the second letter clearly stating that I DO have a hernia! He said 'what do I want to listen to that for?!' and totally dismissed this evidence and started pressurising about me seeing a Psychiatrist.
  6. Oddly enough I tried to resent to him a X-Ray of my back I had done privately that showed two problems with my back and he immediately said 'what do I want to look at that for?' and everything he says is in a sarcastic tone so I replied 'well maybe because your my DOCTOR?!' to which he obviously thought he was a great deal smarter than me when he replied 'BUT I am NOT a back specialist!' to which I replied 'well neither was my LAST GP but she REQUESTED that I bring it in and closed her practice immediately taking the private X-Ray with her?!'
  7. When I said I wanted to complain about the fact I was being lied to he said 'why are you telling me this?! You need to go back to the hospital and tell the reception at BMI Healthcare!'. No mention of the PALS service, nor the Parliamentary Health Service Ombudsman nor National Institute of Clinical EXCELLENCE and neither did he mention the General Medical Council?! No just the two receptionists at BMI Healthcare?!

Now the trouble with intelligent people, well IF they are intelligent to begin with, that have letters after their name is sometimes, and most definitely THIS TIME, they get confused and think that certain letters trump all else.

They also stereotype certain individuals too and in this instance it was absolutely clear that this is what happened. I lost count of the number of times he was rude and arrogant and spoke down to me and as if he was intelligent and I was stupid. He was important and I was not!

I have changed Doctors twice already while living at the same address and now I have to do it again. If I do not the next time I see Doctor John Gubbay I WILL end up breaking his jaw and the only person who will pay for that is me! Well in the beginning anyway but it will not end up like that in the end I can assure you.

Now this little bit is important and let us start off by getting one thing perfectly clear, I do not reveal all my cards, never have and never will. Despite the embarrassment, anger, frustration and the NHS making it look abundantly clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that they really do NOT CARE about human life and only the money...I STILL DO NOT REVEAL ALL MY CARDS!

What I am trying to say, as so many with letters after their names seem to be extremely hard of hearing, is that I am NOT SHOWING YOU all of my cards.


Yes that would mean that while Mr Darren Francis was pretending to dictate a new letter for my benefit he was himself actually being RECORDED at the time.

I have been doing this a very long time and with a great deal of meetings I have had and trust me on this, Dr Gubbay will likely say a few things in his defence about OTHER things I went on to say about myself to make me look mad...


I also told him that my very own DAUGHTER is currently in a big court battle that she is winning and because of my help, plus I was recording the COUNCIL and DWP using a series of smart phones. He was not interested in another thing in my defence yet again and despite him stat8ing that he knows bugger all about backs and nothing about bureaucracy in the NHS he was suddenly a Psychiatric expert and made his mind up immediately and needed no proof?!

By the way Doctor Cody of the Psychiatric unit at Silver Street in Enfield knows me only too well and the last time I saw her, I suffer from an Anxiety Disorder that has not flared up in a number of years despite what Dr Gubbay will state, she said 'Martin, why do you keep coming back here? Have you not noticed that you are not like the others in the waiting room? Your saner than I am you just have an Anxiety Disorder and with your life it is little wonder and surprising you do not have more than that!'

Doctor Gubbay was also not interested not only in the diagnosis of Dr Cody, I gave him her name and pointed out she was two doors along from him, but despite the fact that his finger-tips are permanently glued to the keys on his keyboard he was unwilling to look up this letter from Doctor Cody on his monitor screen.

All in all rather odd and rather offensive behaviour for the titles of Doctor and National Health Service, is it not?!

Yours sincerely

Martin Haswell BSc

Tuesday, 30 July 2013


Really do not oboe what to day about this one.

First I thought I read it wrong. Then I was in shock before wondering if it was the 1st April or not. Then I burst out laughing, lol.

Clegg surprised by 'go home' vans



Need I say anymore?!

Another one of my damned subjects pops up?!

Now just waiting for key media reports but could be couple months away, lol.

UK 'losing fight' against e-crime


Well here is another I have posted about several times since day one!

More interestingly is that all companies asked, only Vodafone wasn't, and ahh said my postcode was strong.

Yet O2 I could not get a connection at all!

T-Mobile was iffy at best

Orange was the sage as O2 and no connection.

Three is like T-Mobile and very iffy.

Oh I only live in North London?! Well technically just outside it.

UK aims to tackle mobile black spots


This is one thing I was hoping could be avoided.

People turning on each other with their frustrations instead of the real culprits. So ten percent increase on previous year and I bet that was an increase on the following year too?!

All hitting the spotlight after that Twitter abuse.

Hopefully it will fizzle out?!

Rise in abusive online message cases


Well sadly a group of DISABLED people lost a court case over bedroom tax.

This was at s High Court.

Does this mean that judges need to be feared and looked at?

To be honest of all the things I have been wrapped up in and gathered evidence on judges are not one.

Despite one ongoing right now with my daughter that has already chalked up 6 court appearances at a minimum and possibly one or two more now had another in September and this started in 2012 so I can't comment.

Other than this I have not come face to face with many judges in a court room and one wrongful arrest did not involve a judge and the last was actually involving my daughter who would have been around three at the time.

In fact the while court case currently revolves around the fact that the Social Services got out wrong, conspired and then covered up ever since that court date 17 years ago!

That was just one court appeared and they faked to react not only on my concerns and accusations but also upon their own evidence realised on the day by the barrister.

Go figure! You cannot make this shit up with public offices, you really can't, lol.


I have witnessed an interview with someone from Twitter answering done very awkward questions on Newsnight on BBC 2.

The BBC interviewer shockingly but highly impressively reprimanded the representative for basically running through her own Curriculum Vitae.

He also stated that one woman with a Twitter account complained of threats of rape and a Twitter manager blocked her?!


He also accused her of just spouting corporate rubbish and this is EXACTLY what I have repeatedly stated all along.

These companies, all American, are obsessed with money, power and control and it had gone to their heads asks all suffer God Complexes! Funny how it is now it is all coming out?! Lol.

Also just as piss taking is when asked if a higher representative is willing to come to Britain and answer questions rio deal with their inaction over abuse towards people and their safety.

So just like Google, Amazon and Starbucks over corporate tax avoidance then?

The problem is that these companies all focus too much on money and growing as fast as they can and ignore things until they get out of hand and the online giant becomes a monster you cannot control.

This really only shows that things have been implemented badly and they got lucky then caught up in growing and money and not about pitfalls and users concerns and safety.

It is also concerning that even just the higher echelons of these organisations, not just owners or board, can ignore authorities and even governments because they now have still that cash and power?!

More worrying is that once this truth if their attitudes comes about then I believe that any organisation that behaves like this should be dealt with by the people, the masses, and taught a lesson. Everyone should cancel their accounts to get the message across. But they won't, because they are trying to achieve the same thing but using Twitter to do it.

Even on the blogging and web site owners are shown all these figures and graphs with the hope that eagle eyed and power hungry people will scan them to see what it is that attracts the most visitors...

...ooh wait is that not just like the TV News then?! Ooh and the tabloids which are now 70% gossip column on the celebrities?!

It is a sad fact that it is we, the PEOPLE, that creates these giants who then cut us loose and dunno in us from a great height?!

They decide to ignore in others that which they themselves would in no way accept! Whatever happened to the saying...

Treat others in the way you yourself would want to be treated.


Do unto others as they would do unto you!

I would have to sit down and focus and think very hard into my past to pinpoint a time when someone was not only familiar with the word reciprocation but actual practiced it in response to things I did for them?!

One particular one was extremely one sided it became ridiculous.

This had also happened with auk the people I have attacked on here...

My data was provided in parts to help a great deal of organisations to achieve certain things. I even helped our medical professionals in the NHS on a regular basis and was sought after for it. Something my current GP is going to feel somewhat stupid about if and when he ever finds out over our current statement I am now but prepared to let go of, lol.

So it appears that the online problem I have cheered about for do long now seems to be coming to the fore?!

Hopefully now this will be the beginning of long overdue kicking of arses. Authorities also need to stand their ground and put their foot down when it is these overseas companies.

I hate to have to about this but many American organisations are becoming very aloof which then turns to nasty, selfish, power mad and then a God complex and thing they are a law into themselves. Somehow when you have money the laws of their own countries and that of others no longer applies to them. Oddly poor people, working or not now find that the law is NOT AVAILABLE TO THEM?!

How do I get this across strong enough to hit home? Well...


I cannot emphasize this enough. Just because governments think that Arab countries have far less available to them does not equate to the same risings that have give on there to not take place at home!

There is always a key number that is always a majority number and one which cannot be fought against or stopped because of being outnumbered.

Hopefully things will improve but to improve things it needs s bunch of people that think they are always right, deserving, cut above the rest of humanity to actually perform a load of actions to stop the shit going on, holds their hands up in a way that IS sincere and not a bad attempt to be sincere and be...


I am not sure this is entirely possible and among with not having a capable bone in their bodies and a backbone made out of jelly have it in them to do such honourable things.

Could they behave in such a way that the people would STOP...and take notice?! Could they use the right words and the actions to stop the crap and make a genuine gesture towards the injustices suffered?

Could they do this in such s way that there is no doubt in the peoples mind that they DO mean this and WILL change things for the better. So much so that the people will feel confident again in such a way that they start to spend money that gets the economy going again?

Could they make a sure by CORRECTING and REVERSING things done to people innocent in all this and had money taken away that was being spent and had to be didn't by disabled people?

Do they possess the fibres and soul that have compassion for the time already passed by and the nightmare it had been and making a promise with a token gesture that goes along way with the pubic?!

Are they capable of compassion when not leaving their children in s public house without noticing they were missing?!

My daughter had been missing for 19 years and not a day goes by when I do not notice that she had been missing for every single day in all the nineteen years!

I am not sure that they do.


OK well I have referred to it enough times and thought it would be a little entertaining as well as informative, I hope, to show you how I watch the numbers. Without it being too complicated.

Also that with about 8 hours to go my figure for the day is 250 and I thought that interesting indeed. Sometimes I get these odd days with biggish views and it will be interesting to see what it does by tonight when most of Europe is getting home from work and going online?!

Also I realised what a nice place that both I and all my blogs will be in once the daily average is 1,000 per day?!

What I found interesting is how long it took to get the numbers up to trigger that Google Adsense confirmation letter and I thought now I have that it will only by somewhere between 4 to 12 weeks now to get the first payment via that. It took so long I got bored and reduced the ads and but on others through Affiliate WIndow, Linkshare and someone else but despite quadrupling the amount of clicks, meaning Google Adsense it literally CRAP, no one bought anything out of 40 to 60 clicks on just Affiliate Window?! Not a penny?!

So you see not only did I have a goof finger on the pulse of the UK Economy beforehand but now and as do many others authors now have en even bigger insight to the economy.

Governments still do not have a clue thought despite expecting all of their wages, perks and anything else they get for free through us for doing sweet F.A!


Well I will be a son of a gun!

I has been quite an unpredictable spring and summer so far! Started off cold and raining and then went straight from that cold, windy and wet weather into too bloody hot!

Everyone was like 'oh at last' and then into 'ooh its too hot, my children cannot sleep, we have cold showers every night!' and before long I was doing the same!

Then all of a sudden after weeks of what seemed like much more intense and brighter sunlight than usual a series of storms came making it extremely muggy and then it went cool. Only just like the Spring the cool weather has been accompanied by wind and rain?! Bar humbug!

There were some nice moments and only yesterday I was walking back from somewhere after getting a bite to eat and walking home in a westerly direction wearing sunglasses with the sun low in the sky and just the most perfect breeze! Hmm perfection!

Added to this a series of NHS run-ins and two extremely dodgy cameras, one I am still stuck with and I am waiting for the glue on the grip to dry before using it again. It had one day yesterday not being used and now I have added finishing touches....OF GLUE it has another 24 hours, sounds like a film, to dry.

I moved the laptop to the cabinet to my left thinking it would be more efficient having it there and great to work with but this was not to be. Only now and today am I typing this out while glancing into a direction that does not cause pain and dizziness after five or ten minutes. I have worked on my living room too and the Ottoman that now has a set of four Vivariums sitting on top of it as now been turned 90 degrees so if I look 90 degrees to my left I look straight at it.

The metal mesh lidding was loose on on partition and that is currently drying, if not already dry, too! I am looking forward to rigging up a set of light to my own design for these cages and indeed may end up with different wattages with each depending on what animals I keep in them.

At the moment those I would like to keep would be a Hyla (Tree-Frog), or Hyperolius (Small African Tree Frog), in another I always like those tiny Jewelled Geckos found in Egypt. Maybe even a pair Peruvian Beauty Spiders?! Now me keeping an invertebrate?! That would shock a great deal of people and would likely be the first time I have ever done it. Or at least in nearly 40 years that is for sure!

Of course there are the usual suspects that I would grab with both hands like alpestris apuanus and Bombina pachypus. The cages will take about two weeks before completion and around that time there are some reptile shows going on.

So for this year I have also NOT ordered any new Orchids, more is the pity, and no idea when I will start purchasing hardware to build the first of two PC Computers?!

Also I seem to have had a bit of a time out due to the falling apart of my Olympus Stylus SP-820UZ Camera that I wanted so badly and thought would be perfect. In some aspects it was better than the Camera it replaced, and I do not mean the faulty Nikon L310 I took back to Argos and ended up with this one, I mean the competent for what it was Nikon S8200 Coolpix. I am still trying to get over the fact that the best and most reliably performing camera is the one with the smallest objective lens?! Bloody unbelievable. Anyway the grip of the Olympus finally fell off entirely with the gentlest of tugs. I spent two days gluing it back on but did not work due to the cheap nasty sticky rice paper like substance they use to glue things to heir cameras?! Yuck. So I am now on the third day of having no camera and I have now used an epoxy resin to glue the grip on as previous attempts with rubber cement (plumbing glue more or less lol) and silicone sealant have been quite unsuccessful in all honesty. The funny thing is if the epoxy resin work it only takes 5 minutes to harden and I could grab the camera and go out. Only it is 9.22am now and has been raining for 30 minutes and according to the Met Office app, which is admittedly WRONG 80% of the time, will continue to rain until 7pm tonight and as I cycle everywhere and do not possess the necessary waterproof gear to protect both me and my equipment then it is a no, no. That is one reason I always look at the Pentax K-30 SLR, think that is what it's model name is, as it is waterproof and would be good for what I do. Only I also want to do detailed close up shots and so the Nikon D800E SLR is also wanted.

But out of the four main CAMERA companies Pentax and Canon are the only ones that have not screwed me thus far. I used to love Pentax when I was a youngster and wanted to get into photography, somehow ended up with a Minolta X-300 but I still loved it. But I am still a while away from getting the equipment I really need to move these blogs up a couple of notches so I am not sweating yet over the choices, lol. Besides by then there may well be another waterproof Pentax that does all that the D800E can. Or the D800E will be more affordable?! YEAH RIGHT!!

So what with the NHS, people who have the audacity to call themselves Doctors, the weather being too hot, too windy or too wet I have been somewhat...held up and am admittedly behind where I thought I would be at this juncture. Still it matters not as this has just turned out to be a damned good start for 2014. In fact by the time 2014 comes around I should be in the water and swimming like a fish?! Well unless there is the most glaringly obvious and hugest Internet rip off of authors that has somehow been missed by smart investigative journalists, TV News Networks and Ombudsman?! Ooh wait a moment?

As for what has been posted at different stage up until this point things are all honest and above board and EXACTLY how I wanted to play it. I wanted to wax philosophical when I was in that mood, type when angry when I was in that mood too and anything else I was feeling at the time along the way. This would no doubt have used some choice language but that was what I felt at the time and I type 'from the hip' and just the way I like to do things. I did not want it or me looking manufactured and still do not nor will I ever will. I suppose the time it has taken so far kind of works for me as it seems to play along long enough so that what I do or fail to do matches the economy, in the UK at any rate, and if there is ever an improvement or drop then I should feel it?! We all should those of us that exist online to one degree or another and collectively this should be able to be used in our favour.

Along the way I have tried very hard to show that when you do not work as a team effort then as a nation we will go backwards. I am having a guess that the majority of us, like those that said it after Concorde was grounded, that we have gone backwards and none feel that more than the British Public do?! We pay more than anyone else and then find out it is either refurbished and used crap or of extremely bad build quality in the first place?! NICE, talk about getting two fingers up in your face after handing over your hard cash?! Except what I find both amusing and worrying at the same time is that either I live in a nation of extremely naïve people or many media moguls are being bribed up to the teeth to pressure the journalists into submission?! There simply are no other reasons involved and I have been seeing this stuff for what now seems like an eternity. I just did not know just how widespread it really all was and that I found quite disgusting.

So we get hammered and told about team work and team player when what they actually have meant over the last two or three decades is following orders no questions asked! No idiots and morons that is NOT what the word team means you bloody dicks! The government along with the previous one that showed us nothing more than a struggle between Tony Blair, who now looks very dodgy indeed, and Gordon Brown, who I trusted even less, and continued with the new Siamese Twins of David Cameron and Prince George Osborne is a new initiative and idea that has been in place since the inception of that famous Apple invention called the iPod. Indeed and look so many other since they have secretly copied the name of this fashionable device and implemented it into their new code name for the initiative as well as the sub-title.

iTEAM – Putting the 'I' Back in TEAM!


The only thing that I hope and pray is that the British Public learns from this but also that the GOVERNMENT learn from this that you have been heading down this road now since 1979 and look where it has brought us?! We are not at a juncture where it seems like before very long now (January 2014) it would seem like it has been so bad for so very long that we will have forgotten or started to forget when it was good?! Well not me, lol. If this is them matched with the problem of not being able to foresee an end and after a third and most miserable of all previous Christmases going back 3 years or more then this will have a devastating effect on the human psyche in an increasingly and ever growing number of individuals?!

Of course if you behave like the intelligent human beings you believe yourselves to be than you will read, listen and then most importantly ACT!

This is better for me as and IF done correctly and things improve I will make my own income SOONER instead of LATER!!

Hmm I wonder if they, my enemies, have tried using the excuse that I have tried to CAPITALIZE on the recession both national and global to make money or a name for myself?! Well if so …. TSK-TSK!! TUT-TUT!! Still no forethought and just scribbling silly notes on napkins?! No I am sorry it does not work like that and I just kind of blew to bits any possibility of that have I not?! No I only want to change things for the better or die trying?! Well either that or a nice foreign country that does for its people the honest and decent thing would like to give me refuge?! LOL.

So until such a time I am still minus a few items that in themselves will allow me to spend around two months really and heavily putting content on my dozen blogs that will cause it to sky rocket. This is because I have, and always have had, an ability to instinctively know what people want and provide them with it. I can also hold people's attention with my telling of tales that could well pace me in some Guild of the Bards?! I can do this in both factual things as well as fictional too and you can chuck in a whole list of sciences to boot! I can also join up the dots that seems to have impressed seemingly impossible to impress people since I was 14?! Well you had better do a rummage around on here as there are nearly 1000 posts just on this blog alone you know?! LMAO!

Yes these items, sorry I digress. Yes there are a number of things that will allow me to absolutely mount a unbelievable charge at this point in time that I could not ever look back from without getting light headed! Despite the fact I still have no TV and therefore not really able to enjoy my Blu-Ray Discs in GLORIOUS 1080p magnificence the highest priority right now is...

  1. NIKON D800E SLR CAMERA + Telephoto and Macro Lenses
  2. CBoardman Mountain Bike in Halfords @ £850 which will lose 7lbs on current weight
  3. Out of current reach building blocks to at least ONE PC Build
    a) One for work and intended to become a SERVER RIG
    b) Another enthusiast GAMING RIG as this is my HOBBY (YESSS OK ONE OF THEM LOL) and would rocket my Computing blog among others!
Now with those three things as a basis then everything takes off and within just two to three months I will quadruple the numbers I am currently getting. This is just not achieved by anyone and now I know I am building up a high level of trust in everything I say and do among the people that read. In fact one one blog that sits alone and without advertising on it or ever intended to be placed I am now seemingly acquiring followers ever day or two?! I also know that this will increase as more and more see my blog listed on others blogs and have their interests peaked! I also know that within a few weeks of this building up the temperature will be cooling down, well in the NORTHERN HEMISPHERE, so that much of the UK, EUROPE and the USA will gradually and increasingly depending on their latitude (i.e. outdoor temperature/weather) spend more time indoors on the Internet. So If I was to hazard a guess this will start around September and October in the North of Scotland and increase as these cold temperatures work their way south.

Hmm, you see?! Many things rattling around in my head all the time I have to keep track of and make sense of! Sometimes I see a documentary and it covers something I do and I know that it will peak my numbers for a while. This is getting harder to predict as I have posted about a certain thing a number of times and lose track of how many! LOL.

Added to acquiring those three I also have a set of four glass Vivariums I intend to create the perfect environment for particular species of animals I love. Frogs, Toads, Salamanders, Newts, Lizards or even SNAKES?! SSSSSSS!! LOL. I also have my one metre aquarium sitting empty but set up and only needs the addition of FISH!!! The three bas items I listed above will allow me to do much more work and get much more content for these too and a great deal quicker to boot?!

Of course there are other items I am without and that would help with boredom, Billy-No-Mates (died or ran away), painful chores I have a dreadful habit of not being able to do or avoiding because I know it will hurt...

  1. Samsung Series 7 46” TV
  2. HQ Blu-Ray Player
  3. Dishwasher but will have to be tiny as I am CRAMPED here
  4. One of those little automatic vacuums, lol. How cool and hoe helpful.
  5. Litespeed Occoe with Mavic SLR Rims, Red Magura Marta SL Brakes, SRAM XX Gears, XTR or Carbon Chain-set, DT Swiss Carbon Forks 80-100mm travel, RaceFace Carbon FLAT BARS, Ritchey WCS Carbon Seat-post, Selle Italia Gel Saddle and Crank Brothers Egg-Beater 4TI pedals in ORANGE (preferably red if poss)
    (This is just to replace the one that was stolen by a council and bailiff they got £2,800 for but told me they got £400 for and was also featured with my name in What Mountain Bike Magazine)

What I think is the very sad and the extremely disgusting part about all this is the fact that it has taken me years of being lied to, tricked, physically attacked, defrauded, left in limbo and left for DEAD just to get to this juncture. In just a couple of weeks time in August my corruption blog would have been going one year, well one of the corruption blogs lol. Around ten others were started around September to October in 2012. So for the injustice section alone I have been at this now almost a year which is a tiny fraction to the period of time I have REALLY been on it. This became a large focus as of around 8 years ago and most of my time around 4 years back but technically goes back twenty years. But lets us just take the last year alone and the amount of time it has taken me to highlight all this to the point that segments and elements of my WORK, as that IS what it IS, is being used by one and all from the House of Commons to the tabloids and TV News broadcasters without so much as an acknowledgement. This is to which I believe is the sole reason that many religious leaders, IN THE UK before you all start lol, now see the UK and it's government as being run by evil people that must be Satan worshippers?!
That funny part about all this and to put it simply to those that used elements of my blogs, and proof positive yet again to my over the top accusations of blindness to the point of incompetent and just too easy to beat... have used elements of my blogs and either released bits of info or then proceeded to investigate and got your own info but did it not occur to anyone that used my work and blogs that you are NOT the only ones that have access to these blogs?! STUPIDOLA!! LOL.

Now I have mentioned this several times going back a year now and I cannot stress enough that first off I am NOT in anyway religious, which should be obvious, but at the exact same time Satan Worshippers DO EXIST!! LMAO!

Just as I could not do when it was said to me by a rather and unusually nice Jehovah's Witness, I laughed and said that for once I can not argue with them!

So here we are at the midsummers night night NIGHTMARE scenario and one has to wonder with the run-up to the umpteenth miserable Christmas, when for the first time in twenty years I want mine to be joyous, what is going to happen?!

Although there were some protests and small scale rioting I was relieved about that and I did think it would be a great deal worse then it worse, though I was working to try and show this was just folly. Well just going out and destroying the very buildings that you will then be charged for and they will then use to defraud the public's cash yet again, lol.

This cannot be put off indefinitely but at least this blog now exists as a pure fact and proof that IF the public were pushed into such an act of protest and destruction the likes of which had never been seen then I am here to say that … IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!

I know that an action such as this is only human nature. No amount of sentencing, fines, prison terms or anything else is going to stop human nature, 'NUFF SAID! To punish human nature while those that have deliberately stoked the fires for so very long know so that they can then make others look like they are to blame, destructive and criminal and therefore not worth of any compassion is wrong, immoral and something of a contradiction in itself.

If the tables were turned they would behave the EXACT SAME WAY and therefore they need to be show that having money and power DOES NOT make them a different species to everyone else, just because you have not been put in the position to feel and fear as we have done. Carrying on like that and throughout history, including very recently, it always ends up that those that do not understand end up completely understanding when it is too late. Well it was too late for Colonel Gaddafi who took a bullet to his head! Though I do not think the British will go quite that far but fear for ones life is definitely a possibility! It is called an UPRISING these days but it used to be known as a REVOLUTION and was kind of synonymous with Russia for a long time. In the UK it is only known as the long winded … CRIMINAL ACTS OF A MASS SCALE.

Hmm that is bizarre? Anyone else note how all Dictator's always refer to it as criminal and terrorists and never use the 'R' word?! No not 'RECESSION' but 'REVOLUTION'?! Hmm must be the 're' prefix to these words?! I wonder if the UK government also plan on erasing words with an 're' prefix from history and dictionaries along with the word DISABILITY?! LMAO!

Monday, 29 July 2013


Well I tried to warn readers that there is a program on BBC Three about this with mental health problems,, of which I am but one despite what a certain IDIOT now wants to state.

Funny as everything else I stated I had he has disagreed with but given no alternative diagnosis.

But I trill gin that I have PROOF at least one test was falsified and suddenly he becomes an expert on mental health and says I'm bad to add to the twisted impression he think my IQ is 20 and his is 220.

Those that paid attention and listened have gears gin rule out every single thing I have, refuse to listen to proof a test was lied about and falsified then becomes an expert in mental health and wants to cart me off to a psychiatrist.

I had several psychiatrists, different ones too, repeatedly tell me I did NOT have mental health problem and was finally told that I had an ORGANIC ANXIETY DISORDER which I keep at bay these days. Bit this was caused surfeit by everyone I the system as well as not treated or supported by anyone in the system.

Dr Cody stated 'Mr Haswell, you're not mad and but like the other patients in the waiting room. Did you not notice that? You have an Anxiety Disorder and with the things that have happen to you in you're life it is a surprise you only have that!'

Those sentences were pre-daughter trouble and certain radical Muslims!

But now my current GP suddenly had developed a skull or two, deafness and psychiatry?!

If you reading this you're a fecking winker, lol.

Anyway I hope they give the NHS hell on the program but it's siren to bad Doctor's, eh Dr Gubbay, as it is middle management, eh Enfield PCT?!

For whenever it is you read this, in court I HOPE, better luck next time.


Enjoy the program and I how it's of help to someone.


Well it feels a little precarious but it is done and here it is with the laptop sitting atop its surface!

The silicon sealer may not be the best quality out there and it may not have even dried properly as this should take 48 hours. It does not say on the tube only that it is 'quick drying' which I have not seen on a silicone sealant before.

I have given it a second going over with the glue and decided to put it in place and just leave it to dry with the weight on it, hopefully will become more solid when it does.

Anyone attempting to copy this design I warn you now there is a design flaw I only realised last night but just so happens it does not affect mine due to the two legs being slightly overlong... careful about leg length was with laptop close to legs you do not want it tipping over onto the floor!! LMAO!!

I may well put another leg on at an angle to remove any REMOTE possibility of this happening, we will see.


I had been having difficulty working on my blogs or doing ANYTHING with my laptop where it was currently, 80 degrees to my left. It had cause pain and discomfort and was putting me off when it came to writing for my dozen blogs.

So as I am currently and shockingly yet to start receiving any monies despite almost a year, a dozen blogs, 2000 posts, tens Gigabytes of photos, even more in the way of videos and now over 40,000 visitors I had to...IMPROVISE!

I decided to make my own SOFA TABLE, do not get me started but cut short the house is pretty small, lol.

While I was hard at work creating this table, now done but not sure about it, to help me put in more work and content on my exotic wildlife as well as my British Wildlife blog this little guy as if on CUE comes flying in and lands on what was to become the surface for my laptop and gives it an inspection?!

Being in the way I collected him or her up and let he or she go outside in the garden.

Sunday, 28 July 2013


God this Blogger Android app really is rubbish and a group of school kids could do a better job.

Now back to the post and would you look at that?!

Now we have the BBC reporting on themselves and positively squirming as they explain their coverage of the birth of Prince George the latest royal baby, lol.

They did state that they were being lambasted over it but odd that this is something I posted about recently that now appears in the news. That is the closest it has come by some margin of me posting something and THEN they report it. Compare it to the mental illness sufferers and it looks positively seconds apart, lol.

Oddly despite their excuses Top Gear's James May actually stated st the end of one show that the viewers had just watched an hour of TV without mention of the words 'royal' and 'baby' and everyone cheered!

Seemed like 90% at least of the audience so I do but know who or where the sad people are that loved all the coverage?!



Well here out is in more detail...

The to be made infamous five test late report!

Did anyone consider the danger to the public from mental I'll people being pushed over the edge while screwing people for money they they themselves fecked up and no one else?!

No I do not suppose they skipped a heartbeat while heading for Duck Islands R US?!

Mentally ill 'hit hard by recession'


As is now do fashionable of the BBC and all media they are so fashionably late again like the recent report about those that are mentally ill suffering from their loss of disability cash.

These mental health patients cannot convey this to you but I was unusually in the wrong place at the right time when a certain Doctor Cody reacted to my pointing this out by revealing she herself had, had this suspicion and checked the books to a large clinic to discover that no patients received DLA any longer.

This was hidden even from the Doctors and this conversation with this Doctor I have the highest respect for along with my last GP are the yardsticks to which all other Doctors fail do miserably by anew by some stretch too.

Energy watchdog 'failing consumers'


What a sad story this is.

Does seem unlikely to me that they both just happened to die through the same overdose though?

It is far from understood because the sad fact is many do not want to that life at the butt end of society is worse than you can imagine.

For example far took many people are cold and without compassion our understanding, like my current GP, and a plan bring meticulously followed only needs one of the many idiots who works for a public service, like 99.9% I have met, to day one thing in the wrong easy to cause despondency to make someone take the ultimate way out.

It would not surprise me if there was a sudden shocking report or documentary out at some point revealing the truth and gravity of the numbers, along with those same numbers being buried by an individual or group then wondering while they are on trial for murder and/or have rocks and bricks hurled at their family homes not long after?!

Well fecking...DUH!!

I have not heard of FLACK before but I now bow to the people now attempting to raise money to provide this couple with dignity in death.

Homeless couple double burial plea



Unfortunately my rejig of my tiny workspace was not a good idea.

It caused me discomfort and pain since I did it and have been longing to chine up with another idea ever since. Unfortunately buying the items I wanted would cost over £100 so it seemed much more sensible to make something.

Also because of the pain and sickly, along with nausea, feeling I got from the laptop sitting where it is in the picture I have actually not typed as much as I normally would have. This goes for all 14 blogs and just another reason behind…being behind, lol.

I was always having to constantly look to the left and this would also hurt my shoulder and neck.

So I am, attempting, to build a sofa laptop table. In effect it is only half a table. Well a table with half the legs missing, lol.

It is 80cm by 30cm and one half will go rest on the sofa (end without legs) while the other half stands on the floor. This goes on the right hand side of me so that I can have the screen in front of new but a little to the right. This is instead of around 80 degrees to the left of me.
All has been done, I have used my Dremmel drill for once and did not have right size drill bit but used a sander bit and created holes for dowels which I cut to size and used silicone sealer to glue it together.

Not the best way of doing it but all I could manage with what I have. It is all will and good people saying that it is cheaper to make things but this could not be more wrong if you have to but the right tools to scruffy make it, lol.



I am now attempting to glue the handle back onto my four month old Olympus camera, which reminds me I have been treated pretty badly by Olympus UK so now I am going to publish more about this and contact Argos yet again about the second camera I have had off then in the space of four months or so that has been refurbished or faulty.

I stated before that there is an electrical goods scan going on and that it is rife and easy to spot that sure to their attitude when you tell them.

I have had super quick responses ash all to my mobile phone and all lasting an hour or more as soon as I use the word refurbished. Yet on every occasion a sure as they sounded there were questions that they did big know the answer to so obviously there to dissuade anyone of any suspicions.

If they cannot do this then the attitude is ‘well your not getting your money back or another one and we can be cocky about that because none of the bodies out there do anything, legal aid is a joke and everyone is at it anyway?!’

Safety in numbers seems to be the order of the day for these names. It is scary and sends a shiver down my spine. First Shop Direct were the first I caught doing this and I know they own the catalogues of Very, Littlewoods and Isme. How many others they own up to this conning of the British public I do not know?!

Then it was Argos with that Nikon camera and I provided incontrovertible proof to that on my blogs but Nikon were but as concerned as they should be. That therefore means that they were supplying them with the dodgy gear or allowing them to source their own and sell them.

The CEX Stores were offering new model iPhones on the day of release and after I asked his they managed that not being a official Apple dealer, who I do not like anyway, I received an email informing he I was banned from their stores. Well that gage new the answer to that one then, something illegal and tax avoidence too.

This Olympus I ended up with sure to the Nikon asks it is annoying as they are not fit four the job when they were working but they were all I could acquire.

I know the camera I need four what I am doing and want to do and it is a Nikon D800E. But when I stated I knew it would be 6 months before I could get something like that…then I one it was a year before I could get something like that…more I’m thinking 18 months but I thought this 6 months ago?! Lol.

The amount of time and work I have lost in the last year alone due to this illegal and immoral goings on I could not even begin to have a stab at estimating.

What I find really funny is that I would like an answer to this question from Google and Adsense…

Why is it I am not earning my first £60 per month yet even though I have already put in several years of work four each of a dozen blogs?

Only you cannot contact Google Adsense until….your earning £60 per month?!

I have never heard of anything more bloody stupid than this?! They are earning out of authors who are not allowed to contact them until Google are earning loads?! How God damn evil and selfish is that?

They should NOT be allowed to offer ANY SERVICES until a blogger had acquired the sufficient number of visitors whether this be overall, mine is 40,000, or each week, where mine is around 2,000, because otherwise the service along with Google is a blatant piss take to authors, done and dusted!

If ever I reach that point they are going to get such a hard time of me they will wish they never went around buying the desertions if other people and then passing it off as their own.
Google you created a white screen with a search field and a stupid name. Even Android is just based on another OS and I know of people doing this on their own at home!

The only thing they seem to have done that I can think of is this upcoming Google Glass that does seem a brilliant idea. Well that is until such a time that loads of odd facts come out about it. Like ooh they bought that if some kid who was creating out in his bedroom in a village just outside … oops no wait that was the Mashable website, hehe.

My point is that you are paying money to big firms who are then costing you even MORE money. Even the spying thing does and I am surprised that no one has asked the obvious question…

How many people have been charged extra because they have give over there data transfer limit time and time again because they have been illegally and immorally stealing you’re data?


So the battle goes on and it gets a bit closer with each day that passes to finding a winner.

Here is done food for thought. What do you think the chances are if there if one person in this battle that cannot lose anything from fighting a long drawn out war?

What chances do the ones have that have EVERYTHING to lose in a long drawn out war?

Food for thought.

Saturday, 27 July 2013


All my life I always thought that one day something terrible would happen. I used to have dreams about it. But the distance between sight and vision was always blurred and dark and that frightened me.

In time this vision was lost among the mists left over of the tribulations that consists of ones life.

From my point of view you barely had time to think or to breathe. Always something came along to cloud your mind and stop those thought processes that allow one to be a visionary. Or to just be a seer.

I never really knew why I had them but often I asked of many types of people.

The years strolled by and the faded into memory and into insignificance and were deemed unnecessary and unimportant. That was how I was molded and quite e deliberate process by my on life and its own dark corners. Slithers of reality and thought would be stolen by these dark corners of ones life as if like entities feeding like vampires on one's depravities.

During this time in the dark flashes would come up and bubble to the surface but I did not recognise them for the signs that they were. Conditioned by men that which had long past been important had been quashed and destroyed over time. But maybe this was a process?

Myself I started to see things that made no sense in reality and in a decent existence. The depravities that existed elsewhere in the lives of others each with the own entities lurking in corners stealing slithers of life and thought processes from everywhere and many other people. But before long I started to note that this does not apply to all.

I could see these entities for what they are and many societies of times gone by have had many names for them and many a way of keeping them at bay. Some things have been draconian while others not draconian enough. But still throughout history the revealed themselves at many a juncture. I had failed to realise that the here and the now is one of those junctures and the signs had been popping up to tell me so. But knowing why escaped me and still does at this very moment but at least I know them to be signs now.

I have done things in my life that have been considered foolish by many and yet today I would do them again in not so much of a heartbeat. I have always had this in me from a child and did not know why this was. I have touched on this in times past on my online world but today and lately it has given me a new perspective. Of these foolish things I have risked my own life and limb to do them and thus far I have managed to get by to tell the tale. But along the way it became confused and troubled and those visions of the past long since dead made no sense in modern times.

Why would I possess a want a need to help people and do the honourable thing when it would take so very long to do? I never seemed to get anywhere so what was the point? Repeating these thought processess over and over only served to confine them to the annals of history that exists with my forgotten mind that is distant memory.

I have wondered what it was that I surely needed to do? Why ere the things I was doing not getting anywhere fast? Even of late I had been at this online for what seemed like an eternity and while doing this I had strived to build something else online that in time could actually help myself for once but knowing that in reality this would only lead to me just helping others even more.

Man a time over the years gone by I have grown tired and I have grown weary. At times I just wanted it to end and the pain to cease.

The support and the help I thought I would get to achieve this never really came and none more so were more disappointing than those to which I attempted alone and that came to nothing. It has been nearly a year and for the first time and with no ones help but my own I have taken it upon me to achieve BOTH of these things at the EXACT same time and on my own and under my own power and with all the knowledge that I have come to possess this far to which the tribulations and the entities in their dark corners have allowed me to. Along with being tired and weary there has also been that of the pain and torture I have experienced too and the has never just been one or two things either. If so they would have been batted away with a mere flick of my wrist.

In the last couple of days and while tired and weary and while suffering pain and heat exhaustion and in a frame of mind that should not have experienced it got become despondent again. I asked myself why in the world am I doing this and have I not suffered enough? The truth is I have nothing else to strive for and that is what always keeps me going. But I had forgotten something and that something was quite important and hidden in the tight clutches of those dark entities across time.

Th choice of being a hero is not one that we make, you either are or you are not. But what I had failed to realise and was reminded of recently was that it takes a leap of faith to build up a trust. Sometimes I have thought that it takes doing the wrong thing to do the right thing. I know not why this is and why the processes of trust can take so long. That was indeed why I garnered my posts with lots of ...extras?! I did not want to spend a year, or two or three banging my head against a wall to help others. I thought with a little forethought it would be very easy and all be done in three to six months. How wrong could I be?!

Lately I had grown tired and weary again and the immense heat was not helping and then it took two appointments made by an organisation that one things is there for you to nearly destroy you all over again and then want to blame you with the very thing that they have been the route cause of from day one! I just did not know it from day one and it is this fact that makes it all so unforgivable. It also made me realise that the attitudes of others was that 'well I have done OK out of it so bugger everyone else'. I had thought that these people may consider what if when it came to this they cared most about. But then I wondered how many people actually cared about anyone around them. That I admittedly had not considered in all honesty.

But this may seem narrow minded considering that no one knows more than I do that the country I live in, and it looks like many others, has become more self centred and amoral by the day. This inevitable rubs off on one and all. Except it does not. I swore to anyone who would listen that this would NEVER occur to me and that would rather DIE than sink to the depths of depravities that others stoop too to tread others down into the mire while they stand tall.

They call it the survival of the fittest and maybe those that run the organisations that I have attacked actually believe this to be the case, but this is not definitely not the case! Otherwise we would still have Sabretooth Tigers, Mammoths and Dinosaurs roaming the Earth?! Oh OM so the reality here is a little bit different but I wanted to use the obvious suspects to make you think. For who it is who survives are those that exist on the middle ground that survive because those in the middle are meant to do two things, kill and not be killed. We have both predators and prey and in today's world this is only true for a mere few. I recently attended a support group that was not what they said it was and then a nast and selfish Doctor who should not have the title both put doubts in my mind. But without relaising I was doing it I had already ling since improving my position as one of those in the middle but in a unique place. I had stated that I was the ONE PERSON you should NEVER had been invited to this group support thing if there was anything remotely immoral going on?! I knew this to be true even if I was not aware of the why.

Today I was reminded of the why but provided with more clarity to it and the realisation also rendered me emotional that surprised me. It was the shock of what I realised that did this.

I have been the animal in the corner being prodded by a large stick by those that do not have to consider if anything is behind them. I am the one on the outer most edge of stress skirting in and out of what is acceptable and what is not. Physical and mental pain is not without its emotional content. Only I do not look down at those beneath me and I concentrate the whole time on the people with the sticks. When the people I do not look down on disappoint me and do not live up to my expectations then I can … waiver.

But even so this has to take a leap of faith and an element of trust that in the end the truth will be realised, accepted and then the apologies will come. Until that goal is reached what happens along the way does not matter one iota. It has to be accepted that the right thing has to continue being done and that the good of men will prevail in the end. The shackles of a material existence can then be shed and the process of development, progress and forward motion can return after the years it has lied in its dormancy. Cutting esge is what it means and not that some greedy boad members who have bought into a company that is now making £5 Billion a year can sit back and say 'No, no more spending and research and development we are making £5 Billion a year now lets just sit back and let all that money will will NEVER USE mount up ever higher?!'

Over the years I have watched this process over and over and even before I comepletely understood it I knew there was something...not right about it and always advised people with a lot less money against it, unlike some idiots on TV who look great when the money is always going up but were without a DANNY LA RUE when it all comes crashing down. Anyone can bloody do that job! A Giant Panda can do THAT job?! LOL.

So it is this essence of never faltering and never wavering that I had become lost to.

It is a cold, dark and lonely place and I would give anything to work among like minded people towards a greater good. But these cannot be any people. They cannot be people that have accusations with no foundation and no basis purely because they have the absolute NEED to pint fingers. This I was never interested in though I can forgive people that I may have given this impression.

There is a vast vacuum of difference between wanting to pint the finger at everyone and for corruption to seemingly be everywhere you LOOK?!

I also have to remember that if 100%....or even if 10% of the population could see and do what I have been able to do, especially with so very little at hand, than I would NOT be typing this out and these corruption blogs would not exist at all.

I do not want to say that there is no one completely like me and I always live for the day when I fond others like myself. You might catch me saying you one meet anyone like me as it is unlikely that you will...BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE! LOL.

Why do I say that?! Well I I would hope that you figured it out as there is an absolutely age old saying that is the one answer to what I have feared all along being the only one...

...and that is that ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER! Which comes about because we are primates and sociable animals but animals we still are one and all.

I have to remember that and stay in tune that which makes up the soul and fibre of what makes someone a heroic person in the first instance as there is no place or even niche market for them in the modern world as those dark entities have left them with nowhere to hide.

After all when was the last time you really knew and heard of an old style legendary hero in the modern world? 

I had started to think that the only way to make it to a status that is legendary and would change the world for the better was in the way that you left the modern world instead of what you might do while you was still IN THE MODERN WORLD?!


They are only FOUR YEARS TO LATE as ever!!

You can do a search through this blog and find a number of posts where I speak about a conversation with a local Psychiatrist, a Dr Cody, who tells me they did not even realise that the government was relieving people with mental illnesses of their DISABILITY LIVING ALLOWANCE?!

That ACTUAL conversation, oh I was declared saner than SHE, took place around 5 years ago.

so in other words...

IT IS NOT FECKING NEWS BBC, NOT NEWS!!! It is FIVE YEARS OLD PEOPLE now get a grip have you been sucking on too many doughnuts?!?!

I think they are silently releasing this stuff because they fear that they have NOT reported on so many now that it may look too obvious to too many people?!

Sorry but you were late to the party on that one, I noted over 5 years ago....just that this one was for my money a new low for the news media. Since then there have been several more of these new lows, lol.

Here is one I have been holding back on...

Has anyone stopped to consider that putting this pressure and tress on mentally impaired may cost them not only THEIR LIVES but also the lives of people that MAY END UP BEING THEIR VICTIMS?!

If people feel like there is no support there and no system then they abandon it and many will come up with their own ideas and their own justice and despite how crazy that may sound, written down on paper it may actually make more sense than the governments idea of JUSTICE?!