YEARS OF SPILLING MILK (Pole Shift Part .. well maybe a little?)

There are times when people disappoint me so much that I end up thinking ..

“You know what? Maybe mankind has had its chance and it blew it?”

Forenote:

This is 12 hours late. Have had a really bad two weeks .. really .. really .. bad. Its like someone released something in the air or the damn water supply? I have been at odds with a number of people that have been pissing me off! Have had to bite me lip while people have whined about a load of things I go into in a bit.

This seems to have set my emotions off on a roller-coater and my pains in my finger-tips from typing and wearing shoes blew up until pains across my hands. I could not type or even hold my laptop without pain?!

End Forenote

I am in a living nightmare and I pray sometimes for a truck, bus or bullet to finally put me out of my misery as I only have a few tools at my disposal, been hammering away at them and nothing seems to come from them? Though in all honesty I have been aware of constant attempts to slow me down or stop things altogether.

I am surrounded by people who are wrapped up in their own lives, do not help anyone .. constantly bitch and whine repeatedly over spilt milk or some time 20 years ago when they farcking spilt milk.

Sound over the top? OBSERVE ..

• Walked into a kitchen to have someone shouting their head off because the full milk has run out .. yeah except they do not use it and actually use semi-skimmed of which there was plenty
• From a third I have heard a story 50 times or more in a year, a lengthy story that involves London and Brighton, of how he has been accused of spilling sugar ..
  • But mere minutes ago .. going to tell him how a third heart episode was being caused only yesterday your told
    • “Not interested! I don't wanna hear it!”
    • Repeat a story for the first time and he gives you a sarcastic look and says in a patronising way “Yeah you have told me this before”
    • Of the 50 times he has told me the spilt farcking sugar story how many times do you think I did the same to him?
• By the spilt milk duo
• One of the above three has caused three heart/chest episodes
  • Caused a massive family division .. walks into people's rooms without knocking
  • Thinks they have a right to private information in their own family
  • Tells how a son is evil for not telling them how much they ear
  • Not talking to their own mother because they wont give them control of her money after she passes away
  • Not talking to daughter because she wont agree with her getting control
  • If you do not agree with her your right-wing and Hitler .. oddly I thought I was now centre to moderate right but doing a political test I am somewhere near facrking Gandhi?!
  • Now .. if you recall, if you read recent posts, I am called Hitler by leftists online too and accused of hate speech .. (yup did state there was narcissistic socialist here)
• The there is the third person in the building ..
  • Has spent years winding one up making them worse .. hates the people in the family that are not related to him
  • Every single night for a year now .. unplugs a router lead to the electrical network in the house .. put a HD video on laptop to a second wifi router and clogs up the internet so it does not work ..
  • Once has has done this he goes into a cupboard and does not even watch the YouTube videos
  • So between 9pm and Midnight every single night I lose not just ONE but TWO routers that are not connected.
  • When they are away for a week this NEVER HAPPENS
• YES I MAY HAVE HAD THREE HEART ATTACKS/ANGINA IN THIS HOUSE WITH THESE PEOPLE!!
• I was suspected of having a heart attack about 18 months back
  • Did not know this until I was in a hospital later
  • I told them at the time that I could have told them that I had not had one
  • I could not say that with any certainty now though
  • So trolls .. do not go hitting my spam folder with your nasty comments and laughter because professionals previously thought I did when I knew I had not
  • Recent chest events I have never experienced before
  • I was nagged on the phone by hmm NHS '111' to go to a hospital in a town I knew as a child that now feels very unsafe and I always tend to get kicke dout of hospitals in the middle of the night .. yeah .. no!
  • NHS today? Quickly get you in .. are they dying? Right OK. Is it something we could plausibly deny? Yup? Kick them out to fend for themselves then and do not worry about the pain or difficulty .. don't care what is I their medical record!

I could go on with the bullet points but I think I have made my point. Except it is not just them either.

I have many things I can talk about but due to the situation some I do not and people just DO NOT GET IT!! So yesterday another mate that thinks they know everything decides to ask me if I want to go off doing animals and pant things ..

• Looking at Orchids and enjoying it it suddenly hits me .. what I had and what I was doing with Orchids and everything I have lost .. heart issues go BOOM as does the anxiety
• This happens looking at Drosera
• Talking about exotic animals

It happens a few times.

Major shite in my life and major health issues but according to people .. I am just supposed to forget about that and do shit .. because ..

• You can just flick a switch the the dangers and symptoms so they wont occur
• You should not talk about things that depress them and only talk about happy things they want to hear
• Except your not speaking in a depressing way .. just talking about it is all ..
• And this coming from someone who walked into a shop .. cried and screamed for over an hour because he got out of prison and wanted his flying hamsters back he gave away because he was going in prison
• For 'flying hamsters' read 'Sugar Gliders'
• Insisted for months and shouted at me, never fuck off and leave me alone though, that ..
  • NHS and GP's work a certain way when they do not because I did as he requested and the “COMPUTER SAID NO!!”
  • Insisted DWP and Job Centres were a certain way .. for months sooo .
  • Yesterday he rings a friend up who works for a Job Centre and what does he say?
  • Yeah .. Universal Credit is shite mate .. it has farcked everyone up, no one likes it in the Job Centres, a fact I already knew

People have no idea or understanding of how I so long to be around like minded people and even of late thinking how nice it would be to have someone that understood who was also into photography.

The thought of not just getting out of my own personal hell but to be somewhere where my anxiety can calm down and stop setting off my heart and chest pains but also getting back to photography is like an impossible dream.

Trust me when I state that every single morning I wake up is a nightmare and I waked into varying levels of anxiety. I so, so wish I could get that to stop and get out of here.

Often think a lorry collision is the only way and many on the Internet are pushing me that way and are praying it goes that way too.

Because of the numbers I was attracting over a short period of time.

They tell me because of my hate speech, read the truth, because of this blog and the recordings on it 'Country of the Damned' and the 90% of recordings I do not have on it.

• So as well as sugar and milk what else do I hear?
• Most common is someone moaning at some other driver if I am on the phone .. so milk, tissues, mess, sugar and bad drivers.

So I have been in receipt of ..

• DLA previously .. then that was stopped for 7 years and finally they awarded me ..
• PIP .. which was then stopped three years ago
• Had been setting up and working towards going self-sufficient for well over 6 years except ..
• My health, the public services, the weather and public services and politicians that constantly kept letting down my daughter .. kept farcking it up

Also wrote two books soo .. I figured that as I am currently unregistered and received no help despite promises from ..

• Mary Ward Legal
• CRISIS
• Age UK

Basically a friend thinks things are easy ..

• He thinks I can register with any GP when I have already told him they said no
• He thinks you can do everything 'Care Of' when I have already told him that you cannot
• He thinks that you have to get paid and can do so my cheque when I have told him they do not do that any more
• He thinks that with a dodgy heart, anxiety issues and everything else I can just go down to a leftist run organisation like CRISIS where he admits there is trouble, fights, shouting, drug running and other crap and I will be fine?!
  • God give me strength!!

Unexpectedly and after nearly 7 years of blogging about possible global catastrophes that are scientific fact and only a matter of time .. it is surreal that I type this out amidst a running series regarding a very real series of events.

I have spent 30 years thinking about these things and I never .. EVER thought I would be sitting around wondering if doing anything at all is worth it?

What started out as an outside chance in a million has become clearer and clearer and clearer and looks closer and closer and closer.

Now at the moment that kinda grew as what was first the magnetic poles splitting and moving ever faster .. this started me thinking. Then the Arctic blast was predicted and I then realised this could be what causes ice-ages and then started thinking about continental drift, drop in crop and food productions .. farming, and any other things. Would have to happen now that I am buggered health-wise and dependent on things like Vitamin B and Magnesium supplements.

Also thinking about my daughter and grandchildren too. How the hell would I help them?

Apart from my daughter .. and at times my sister no one else has wanted to talk about it .. even the ones interested in science and sorry .. there are no excuses for this.

• Not talking about it is not going to stop it from happening
• It is going to guarantee that should it start you will NOT SURVIVE IT
• Yeah you should really not be thinking about yourself and be thinking of talking about it to help your own children or grandchildren should the time come

One things for sure .. if it gets right into the swing of it and considering what I have put here .. and telling you now that you cannot remain where you are and this goes DOUBLE if you live in a big urbanised area.

What do you think the chances are I will be travelling absolutely fucking anywhere with any of the above?

By the time you realise you will have to move there will no no cars, buses or trains so people will have to travel in groups. Yeah I would farcking prefer it if I did not have a shit ton of doubting Thomas type people on my arse for days on end doubting every idea I have like they have done for years regardless of how many times I got I right.

I do not mind someone putting forward a logical argument but hearing something somewhere and just parroting it and claiming it is a credible source when they themselves have zero knowledge or experience in what it is their parroting is extremely .. annoying.

It is why I do not make friends easily and on my own. Those that did listen either moved back home or they died on me.

Hmm maybe people should be a annoying Doubting Thomas? They seem to live longer?

• “No I think your wrong .. that is not going to happen” even though it actually already is ..
• “What do yo mean I am wrong? What makes you think I am wrong?”
• “I just cannot see it happening!”
• In my head I be like “FUCKING WHAT?!”
• Or ..
• “Well you cannot stop it so what is the point in talking about it?!”
• In my head I be like ”FUCKING WHAT?!”
• So I am being realistic ..
• Others are not thinking of getting the best advice to consider helping their loved ones
• And I am the one in the wrong?
• If the shit hits the fan in one to three years time take a wild guess at what I am going to answer when every single one of them calls me for advice?
• Did you think I was going to say “farck off2? Well I would except ..
• There will be no communication by then and I would have arranged to meet my daughter somewhere to get her and my grandchildren to safety
• Bet no one else has thought about doing that .. right?
• Sound out there?
• Yeah well they have just had two major record breaking storms in the US with record breaking snow-fall they are measuring in feet and not in inches ..
• What if you get another two .. they are worse and they start measuring snow-fall in metres and not in inches?
• And yeah .. climate scientists never predicted even snow ..
• Nor did the weather men until the first storm was more or less upon them ..
• So yeah .. I do not think anyone at all in North America right now would consider anything at all being out there

• My main issues about anxiety and travelling is .. people
• If anything happens there will be far less people around .. meaning travel will be less of an issue
• I have been working on a post on just this subject .. the series of events and the psychological reaction fro the masses .. if it were to ever get officially announced

So everyone wants me to pay by their rules, right?

So let us count individuals alone .. that is a lot of different sets of rules now factor in a all the public services who have been moving the goalposts constantly for the last five years and then consider all the individuals that are of the belief that the rules are the same as they was 20 years ago.

My advice to climate scientists and politicians would be this ..

You might want to remove yourself from the Internet and your pictures and pray that you are forgotten because ..

If the shit does hot the fan and with all that grab for money and taxes of all those billions .. people are going to ask where all the help was .. to see this coming and the provisions for the public to survive.

Yeah if I was you there is no way on Earth I would want my face to be seen and recognised and I most CERTAINLY would not ell anyone I was previous a climate scientist .. tell then you worked for Amazon or something, yeah?

Oh my issues and all seemed to be mostly linked are ..

Fibromyalgia, Hypomagnesaemia, Vitamin B Deficiency .. which causes ..

Pain in finger and toe tips, feet, ankles (might be unrelated), back, shoulders and chest along with memory loss, tachycardia, arrhythmia as well as skin issues that require things like Tea Tree Oil, Lemon Grass Oil or Lavender Oil. Or I will eventually get massive sores.

Those oils, it might interest you to know. Are very good for skin conditions and will likely help for eczema, psoriasis and other things? Cheapest way to but them is from those large hair product stores. £5 for like 100ml but you will note it might say 100% pure? Yeah they are most certainly not and will even state they contain other oils.

Seems you can get away with anything in the UK if your a certain nationality or religion while the rest of us get hammered with rules and unfair taxation.

Out of what I have left that has not been taken away from me ..

• Orchids
• Fish
• Amphibians
• Insectivorous Plants
• Japanese Maples

I cannot enjoy ..

• Photography
• Cycling
• Movies
• Games
• Music

On top of that I get bitched and moaned at other spilt milk and bitched and moaned at that I am not the company I used to be .. pleasurable and interesting.

Now someone I follow I have just seen told has gone down on Twitter and someone has not only announced this but tagged in Piers Morgan. Though I am not sure why this is.

Never say him arguing or even debating for that matter. DO not recall ever seeing him call anyone names?

Oh and he only had 117,000 followers which is he relied on these followers financially .. he might very well be getting punished.

On my blogs everyone only read what I had to say and that was how I wanted it. I was told it would be a good idea to start a forum or chat page. Think now he was probably right but I was adverse to the idea.

People might complain that I think I know everything but I first of all do not and I have a very, very wide knowledge base. But a great many people DO actually think they know everything despute NOT having the knowledge base .. are insistent and yet have nothing to back this up and argue about it. They they fucking hate it when they end up being wrong.

They then go straight back to doing that all over again. Many wont read websites, watch videos or eve listen to the theories but they are all experts. Many wont even watch the God damn news because they say its scary and depressing and I tell them they are not even showing you the worst.

It is like watching the Devil who has blinded everyone leading them all by the hand to oblivion and your yelling at them to stop, they refuse to .. blame everything on everyone else and carry on walking towards eventual death.

I often wonder how in the God damn hell we become so effing stupid and so effing blind. If this ice-age or other catastrophe ever hits and we survive ..

• Priority in EDUCATION
• Not about what religion you want to be on
• Not about whether you should be homosexual or not
• Not about what words offend others
• ABOVE ALL ELSE ..
• Stop thinking that you know everything and what is going to happen on Earth ..
• .. based on the 60 years you have been on the planet out of 4 billion years!!

• Get the news to tell the truth and make it FARCKING LAW that they should watch it twice a week!!

Oh and let us not forget the nasty evil narrative following pro-EU, pro-Muslim and pro- Climate Change tosser that hammers mu GAB spam folder every day still, proven biggest liar on Twitter over and over again and ignores the links to mainstream news, the weather channel, the weather news, the YO .. (gave up at this point .. hands hurt like hell and now I cannot recall what I was going to say!)

Shit while I was typing this things went nuts my hands and arms hurt.

People seem to like wrangling me with their lack of knowledge and experience and do not stop to think and this sets of my emotions I now realise also aggravate my symptoms..

I seem to have to do something to get them back in check and that is altering my .. emotions .. which I know for one that I need to go from anger to being upset. I have to watch something that upsets me. Luckily I do have something I can use .. though I am not willing to admit what that is.

Have put this to someone .. about putting me up in a flat somewhere, where I can run a business for them. Never thought of this previously .. but .. wish I bloody well had!

If I could find somewhere where I could live in, like a caretaker, that would be cool. If this is somewhere, where I could reach nature spots with a camera either on foot or using my mountain bike then even better!

Way too oppressed here and without being registered I cannot do anything.

Had hoped that hitting social media like I have that something would come up .. someone would have an idea? Doing things online for others .. political or otherwise .. promoting things for them?

My .. devices are all playing up now too .. I do not know if this is their age .. but a lot of devices are playing up from wifi to phones and computers so do not know it is down to the magnetic field doing some high-jinks?

Cannot be certain just yet.

Could achieve so much if I could just shake off the anxiety .. get something to calm the tachycardia and arrhythmia down and had access to the right equipment.

Justice or death is what I am all about. Provoke and anger the establishment to do something .. end my turmoil or shoot me. That ha been the plan since I realised three years ago they were messing with what I had spent four years building up. Helping as many as I could along the way.

OOPSA-DAISY

A slight .. mishap.

For the record .. don't ever trust your local Job Centre or DWP with anything. Anything at all!

Especially the New Enterprise Allowance.

Unfortunately they screwed up .. expecting people to be dishonest the whole time.

They pulled me in and I had to be assessed .. only what they didn't know was what they had been informed about I had already informed them of.

Then they was rude.

Then they lied three times.

Then five days into being self employed using their own scheme .. they pulled it!

Except I've not long come back from .. my daughters who had been attacked by her husband and my four grandchildren along with my daughter are all in danger. Even though the perpetrator is behind bars .. court case 18th January 2018 expected to get ten years then deported.

But others are piling in with witness intimidation.

So I have to move there .. to help them and protect them as there is no one else.

Plus try and get this business going I've been planning for years.

But the Job Centre, DWP and Local Council of Enfield just lead me into a trap ..

Except I was half expecting it anyway.

So after being surrounded with social workers and victim support and police .. I come back home start packing everything I have and then get told I'm being stabbed in the back ..

A few hours later I feel a familiar feeling .. worse than it had been before .. so I grab my BLOOD PRESSURE MONITOR. After the reading above I ring 111 asking for to get my pulse down to stop the pain in my chest .. next thing I know I'm being tested and then they notice in sweating .. a lot. 

Hallelujah! Finally after ten years someone sees this in the world of medicine! Something is then sprayed under my tongue .. given .. gas .. see .. stuff, nitrous oxide mix I think?

Then I'm strapped into an ambulance bed in the back of an ambulance for the first time in my life. Then the ambulance moves .. and I suddenly remember .. my motion problem!! I'm now panicking and I look at the paramedic and say 'uh-oh!' and explain.

I'm put in a seat so I can see out the windscreen .. it helps .. a bit.

Gas-gas-gas and then REAL gas-gas-gas .. hoping one or both will take my mind off things.

Three ECG's later I'm currently in the waiting room .. at North Middlesex Hospital. Feeling better but don't want this recurring. I want to go, I want a cigarette, I'm dying for a drink, I've no money and my Land Rover feels a million miles away from where I am sitting at 12.30am.

https://youtu.be/r4ljQWPaW5A

HEAVY LOAD

Every single day and normally somewhere after midday something very weird happens and it has been happening for a while and need to mention this to my GP and my upcoming appointment. Like, right now in other words.

I get really sleepy.

This sleepiness gets so bad that sometimes my eyelids will suddenly drop involuntarily and this jerks me into being slightly more aware, my eyes open wide and I then think 'What the fuck?!'

It is very, very weird and combines with extreme fatigue that makes getting out of the house a bloody nightmare. It seems like every other day now I a not getting out and even when I do get out to feed and take care of a friend's pets for a couple hours, this takes some effort too.

I have load of menial chores and jobs to do and I am just not doing them.

My eyelids feel as if small weights have been attached to them that seems to increase in weight momentarily.

It is annoying as I need to do things, this was the worst possible time for me to be lumbered with a job of looking after someone else's stuff. I have another four weeks to go looking after these pets and I am just thankful that it now appears that nothing major is going to occur in that time. Umm … I think,, touch wood and fingers crossed!

It seems that I am constantly reminded of the flaws of the human body and unfortunately have one that mimics so many different things. Often several at once too.

Thank heaven for my mountain bikes and I would have had to have not done these extra jobs otherwise.

Also I remembered something I forgot mention in my previous post, enough for me to think about adding a comment to it. Except …

...I cannot recall now what it was even though it was only moments ago and just before I started typing this. The heavy eyelids made me want to type out another post, maybe to stop me falling asleep? I then thought I could add the other thing but I have forgotten.

Oh-oh-oh I remember … damn it! It has gone!

Oh I remember … it is annoying also when you have strong feelings of anxiety and despite them waxing and waning to and fro but you cannot enjoy stuff. You cannot do anything you normally enjoy doing because you either get zero enjoyment from it or the enjoyment is muted.

That was what I forgot to talk about in my last post.

I often intend to mentions things in posts and half the time I end up forgetting.

Despite having over 2,900 posts I have probably forgotten around half to as many as I have published as I often think of things while I am out and even come up with some catchy, in my mind, title only to forget it later on.

Having all the enjoyment sucked out of your life is most annoying. Especially when you was waiting for dates of things to happen or be released.

I like to go to the cinema but only for really major films but I cannot do that so it does not matter that much that they reduced my living allowance by over 50%. This is a few years after they docked it by larger percentage. Then upping it but falling around a third short, so 33%, of what it was previously and they have now docked it by 60%.

What is annoying is they have basically told the world, or the local council, that I am must be now working and they will act accordingly. But I am not, mores the pity.

So both physically and mentally I feel like I am being pinned down by an articulated lorry and unable to move. I had thought about going to a friend's store but decided against it, been in there far too much. Ahh. There is something I need … but will need a bus or a cycle ride to get there. Not sure if there is anywhere to lock my bike up?

I want to buy a blu-ray of a film I very much wanted to see, Batman V Superman. My friends are shocked I did not go to the cinema to see this. But I heard it was edited bad and then I heard they were going to release a special edition that is far better. So I kind of want to buy that but am unsure as to whether to or not. I would normally buy one or two films a fortnight but have not purchased anything in months. I cannot even recall what the last film I purchased was.

I am on a lot less money than before but I have also been very good at not buying anything I do not really need.

But I miss the escapism.

Funny how it is that someone could swoop down, or turn up to save the day and change everything inn my life that is boring and gets me down. Has not happened though. Though I rarely tend to think about it and do not expect it, which is why the anxiety occurs, I just think I have to get along with what I have. Which is not a great deal admittedly … I think, lol.

I do have one thing going for me and I explained this very recently in a letter. The blogs. I have explained how much content I have acquired over the past 4 years along with where I got it and how I managed it. This was to the court over the DWP and my videos and pictures show exactly where I have been and how I got there. Almost everything I got using my mountain bike and within a 8 mile radius of my house. If my cycle computer is correct. Also I would only now be fit enough …. I think as I keep asking myself this, to cycle to my usual spots. I have not done any distances of greater than about four miles in a day. My usual spots for photography and videos will require being able to cycle around 15 miles, which is a little bit further than four. Lol.

The things that Fibromyalgia can cause really are terrible and it can cause many terrible things at once and often does.

I am well aware of the fact that people are treated with far greater respect and get a great deal more help if it is a condition that everyone has heard of. Like Diabetes or Multiple Sclerosis but say you have Fibromyalgia and it is like they shrug there shoulders when they say “What's that?” and if they have not heard of it they have a dreadful habit of assuming it cannot be that bad a health condition. I believe this attitude is what is seized upon and used by the government and the DWP as no one would give a shit if you got ejected from civilised society. Do this to someone with Diabetes and it could make them look bad and not very politically correct.

This does not only happen with Fibromyalgia but with many other things as well which I now realise is why they have these awareness campaigns.

As I understand it there was something, is something or will be something of an awareness campaign that involves Fibromyalgia? At least I am sure I read something somewhere about this?

I would not mind cycling today but the weather is dreary despite being much cooler than those roasting hot days we have had. A little cycle, stop off at Sainsburys and grab that film, some Pains Aux Raisins and a Mackies Ice Cream, or maybe Ben & Jerry's for once? Oooh thinking of splashing out a bit there, lol.

It is my only pleasure that does not come attached with pain! Well it was … not sure if it will feel quite as pleasurable right now.

But those beta-blocker pills might just be doing enough right now that I can enjoy it? I just hope they work well enough for long enough for the mess to be sorted out.

Oh yes and I think I forgot to send a medical document to the court as the ones I have sent do not list all things … funny that is it not? One other mentions my Fibromyalgia along with the inguinal hernia that magically disappeared that, that specialist lied about. Oh do not worry I confronted him while I was taping him and he admits that he did it.

I have to use three different documents to show my entire list of ailments and there in itself is something that can only mean one thing. To not make me look as bad with my health as I actually am. Now why would you think that they would do that? What possible reason would they have to not provide all your ailments on a single document or letter that you always have to pay for?

To help out those that are receiving the letter. They must realise? Maybe they think they are helping the country in some way or another?

Maybe they are told this from higher up and in some twisted and blind way they think they are doing good?

Except Doctors signed a Hippocratic oath that should never be broken and the government should not force politics into this … ever. Even though it was all the politicians fault as to why we are in this mess anyway.

Right … I must go and do something.

THE PRICE OF NO

So one single consultant was paid £375,000 just in overtime alone?

Well we know what that time was spent doing.

That is one single person. Overtime only. Jesus H. Christ!

Well I'm getting more and more stories about how terrible the treatment of patients is in hospitals, just lately two of those were from family members who never believed my claims a few years ago. They not only started to hear their own stories from others but now experienced it first hand!

Now I can tell them what one single person gets in overtime alone.

You can employ me for half that, I can change my first name to 'Doctor' and I don't have to be one to keep saying 'no' or your ultrasound was clear when it wasn't?!

I've been across five hospitals and five GP Surgeries and they have all lies and made excuses not to do things and that is not going to change anytime soon.

In fact the best details and evidence I've ever got looks like it just might be around the next corner? More clues in my next post.

Saw a report about Donald Trump saying something about Russians should hack Hilary Clinton or something? Media going nuts about it, but I don't know why. It wasn't like he gave the Russians the password, instructions or even location of said emails.

But for some bizarre reason the media are treating it like he did! Umm don't they know how IT works?

I might not be Donald Trumps biggest fan but this is the media going ridiculous over nothing yet again. Large TV news networks? Bloody pathetic. I think secretly they either hate Donald Trump very much, maybe because he don't sound like a left winger? Either that or they are terrified as hell of him becoming president? They need to grab a hold of something so weak and make something huge out of nothing at all is nothing more than pathetic, childish and shows a terrible amount of missing professionalism. I mean, really?!

Jesus H. Christ gets two mentions in no time at all tonight!

If someone is genuinely seen as bad news or trouble if they get in power why don't you go after genuine things and ignore making something out of nothing?

One thing I've learned is that those making noises about foul play either have been guilty of something just bad themselves or even far worse?

Take the DWP. Spoke to me like I was a lying, lazy sponger who she like i was taking money out of their pockets. When in fact I've told the truth and can prove it (whoops), they have told five lies that are going to drag yo their previous four lies (double whoops) and are reach paid ten times out of the taxpayers money than what I get (treble whoops) and best of all I've done more good for the country and its people than they ever will and this is increasing at a fair old place lately. Well what do you know? A quadruple whoops!

It's a quintet because it looks like I'm now going to get the very thing I've waited many years to get?!

It's a full quintet!

More in the next post.

NHS consultant paid £375,000 in overtime - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-36898881

A DAY OF HOPE

Well I call it a day of help but I have this terrible nagging in the back of my mind that continues to be negative.

Today is the day when things could change back around in my favour and I hope it will do so because it could, should, mean the end of the anxiety. Except for that nagging in the back of my mind I have had the last couple of weeks.

It could turn out to be a blessing in the oddest of disguises.

If things go very well and they would have to go very well, it should give me a massive boost that should propel me. I am already thinking that if my feelings get a lot better from a good day then hopefully I will be back on my drive to get out with my two new cameras to get lots of content for my other blogs and my YouTube channel.

Except I see raindrops for the first time in weeks and the weather seem to say we were going to have a couple of rainy days. Still, I am thankful for the cooler temperatures as it was only compounding everything. But it might take a couple of days for the thoughts and feelings to get back to normal anyway and for the anxiety to go completely, I just do not know.

Of course this is all replying on the fact that I get the first actual help after asking for the umpteenth time and over a ten year period.

I have lived here for 9 years and for a couple of years before I lived here I had asked for help for similar things. I would wager heavily that I have made over 200 approaches for help in thirteen of fourteen years and there have been times even before that I have requested help.

Going on ratios when it comes to receiving help from anyone I have had zero percent and when I have helped myself it has been a poor success rate of probably less than fifty percent, though in the recent past this has improved somewhat.

There ave been five legal challenges against me and every one of them has failed so you would think that this time I should be full of confidence? But I wasn't, got struck by the dreaded anxiety and no one was more surprised than I was.

One way or another I need to actually do something about this condition of mine because it is clear it is not going to go away. Mind you that could all become academic after next month depending on the outcome of the hospital thing. I might not have long to live or might be epileptic and even if it turns out to be the latter it could stop my cycling. That would not be good to live with, let me tell you as I basically survive on cycling during the warmer months when I cannot travel by bus or train.

Ooh my first cup of tea in many days.

Just been looking up what other causes could be behind my seizure and blackouts and I had seen various types I had never heard of and a couple of no-epileptic seizures called PNES and NEAD where the 'NE' stands for Non-Epileptic.

I do no know about either of these but my money is on me NOT being epileptic because of when it is tat they occur. It is always from rising and until lately where I was just standing upright from leaning forward a few times have always been from crouching or a sitting position and standing up. It is not spontaneous or random. Almost always occurs from around midday until around 5pm for he most concentrated occurrences. Indeed this is why the GP thought it was Postural Hypotension but they were so strong and I was on the verge of collapsing so many times that I had my doubts about that. Though I never thought of looking up if Postural Hypotension can actually do that ..

Te worry for me is that the fatigue and lack of drive had been kicking in long before the trouble with the DWP started brewing. It was something I had planned to bring up with the GP, despite him having only just become a GP, when the anxiety struck.

I have my list of 7, or might be 8 now, reports printed out and stapled together where they need to be sitting beside me.

I will take all of the reports with me and see what they are interested in keeping a hold of. The reports are for a variety of people I will be seeing over the next four to six weeks. As stated before my memory has been bad a very long time and slowly getting worse. SO I cannot always think of things which as probably screwed up a lot of meetings and appointments if I am honest. It has been amazing how many people do not take this into account. Including friends.

Damn! I just remembered my old phone. I forgot to charge it last night, remembered this morning and then forgot about it again, really that is how it goes, and after being awake for over 3 hours remembered it about 20 minutes ago and then forgot again. I just turned to look at where it is meant to be charging and was not there. So the whole time I have been typing this out, every ten or twenty minutes or so, I had not remembered it once. I forgot to charge my new phone too but that takes only about 20 minutes to charge fully, often less as it is still always 50% to 90% charged from the day before. Without using, my old Moto G runs out almost completely, or does in the middle of the night, and seems to take 2 to 3 hours of charging to get to full. Still I only need enough battery power for the phone to stay in standby for around 5 hours. Or in other words, until I get home.

Really it is mainly because of one phone-call that never seems to come though others might not have my new number as I may ave forgotten to give everyone it. Oh like my landlord! I must do that!

Having serious issues with my 'H' key among others. Keeps missing keystrokes and I seem to get letters in spellings the wrong way around. Been happening for some months and is somewhat … worrying what with the other symptoms pointing towards a possible brain tumour, lol. But that is something that will be looked at in two weeks time. Well .. a little less than two weeks and I have a report for that! Lol.

Will NEVER buy another keyboard from PC World.

Sometimes when you have too much time to kill before an important meeting or appointment in can be a pain in the arse. Been debating whether to go to it by bike or bus but I do not want the bike getting stolen, it is a somewhat higher crime area than that where in live by several levels, lol. I thought about visiting some friends beforehand but would be too much. I have been on the bike for three days solid so hopefully the being on foot should not be too bad. Fingers crossed.

I think that may what has been diminishing my drive, at least partly? Lately even the shorter distances I do ave seemed like a ten mile hike for each and every one of them. I think about shopping and then think about the journey to my nearest Sainsburys and I think 'Ugh!' It is why I got my old bike out as I am simply not doing things and going places, not that I have a lot to do and I stopped window shopping 6 months ago when a line of communication became cut off. As I have said many times, weather been crap and I ave been .. apprehensive of even doing my work at closer distances since that full on seizure. The thought of damaging the new cameras does not help either! I am hoping for a pill that will result from the hospital appointment that I can take around midday which will stop any blackouts or seizures from occurring? I hope and pray.

Of all the lists of things one would have to hope for and worry about mine are .. starving to death, being made homeless, becoming unable to walk and dying from a brain tumour in that order. Though if the first three start to look likely or even become fact the last would be a blessing.

Hmm August and September this year, 2016, already look to be the most two bizarre consecutive months of my entire life?!

If you had not worked it out, or more likely had it long before you read this, I have a meeting with Citizen's Advice today. Whether this will lead to any more meetings I do not know but I also ave a Neurology appointment in a couple of weeks. Then another meeting of Minds in early September and whether anything else, oh crap local council .. must do that tomorrow, will occur I do not know.

I AM NOT WRONG AND YOU ARE NOT RIGHT

I get that attitude I have in the headline soo many times. People do not look over emails properly as was clear this time around from the fact that several emails had been exchanged by 9.30am to 10am.

I wont ever claim about a late response ever again ... unless it is as bad as this one is, lol.

How have I not got a job?

How on Earth have I not got a job with a help & advice organisation?!

There beside manner is non existent.

I had an answer one of my my emails way, way early ... like a little after 8am I think it was?

I cannot tell which of the organisations he is from but shows his complete naivety and lack of the understanding of simple English, Christ I did a short version (see below) and people still do not read?!

He actually tells me that I should attend an assessment, it is long gone, and tat the DWP would be sympathetic, what planet as he been living on?

When I tell him that they are never sympathetic and that I have proof of it and that proof was used by Machael Meacher MP, still have the email, he still wont simply say he was wrong but then annoyingly stating 

"However, as you do not agree with me ..."

Umm it was not a case of agreeing ... you were wrong .. mate! It is as simple as that. I admit it when I am wrong but so few people are able to do it. They have to twist and say things in a way tat makes them look like they were right and that I was wrong.

Of course my immediate reaction was to email the guy back and tell him it is not about disagreeing and that he was simply wrong and to have some gonads to admit it.

I also wanted to ask him if he was really in the business of helping disabled people as his knowledge was utter crap, he got things well and truly wrong, only advised by stating the absolute obvious which was way too late to use anyway and ... his bedside manner was shite.

He could have gotten some pretty rude responses from a great many of frustrated disabled people but in the end I thought 'what's the point in having a go?' so I did not.

Both emails to and fro are below but his email did not give away which of the 5 organisations I contacted he worked for, there were two solicitors too but I do not think it was them.

I did think Masis for some reason but could have been Disability Living Foundation or SEAP, none of which I had heard of until today. Funny that. God elp their clients of that was a solicitor!

Why do people state the obvious? More specifically why do people not pick up tat they do not have to state the obvious?

Hmm I see the time '9.13am' and I thought it was earlier than that, hmm oh well do not know why I thought that.

Oh and notice I kept it short only to not explain what I wanted ... which is funny as I tell them the facts and expect them to tell me what they can do or who next to speak to. You give them most o it, you are wrong and complained at, you give them minimal amounts ... you are wrong again.

If the DWP were so understanding why did I not get a second appointment with a taxi arranged or a Home Visit? They have come here in the past ... or rather they claim to have done so and the letters are on this blog for all to see, the dates and times as well as the letters explaining why they did not arrive which was so full of shit it was untrue.

Anyway here are the emails ...

Hello Martin,

I was trying to suggest the most beneficial way forward to be of assistance to you. However, as you do not agree with my suggestions I do not know what more I can advise you to do.

As you have stated that you are due to see a Neurologist in August, perhaps he or she can make a more constructive suggestion as far as your future needs are concerned.

I cannot become involved in personal disputes with the DWP or the decisions they make.

Regards,

Peter Lyne.

========================================

Message Received: Jul 25 2016, 09:13 AM

From: "Martin Haswell"

To: "Peter Lyne"

Cc:

Subject: RE: Cheated by All

Dear Peter Lyne

No sorry, you seem to be unaware that the DWP lie, have done for a number of years and cheat people with disabilities.

I did say my email was very, very, very short...

I recorded every meeting and appointment I had with everyone over 7 years ... I even have a Specialist at Chase Farm Hospital admitting he falsified my ultrasound test results on my groin all available on my blog

Just remaining in the world of the DWP I have them lying several times, lying about not turning up for Home Assessments and various other things. Indeed, if you looked at enough of my blog, enough of the recordings are there, you will see this and see that I easily proved it.

IN fact if there was anything in the way of Legal Aid left, which is why I strongly believe they removed it, I would have taken them to court years ago.

Added to this and your insinuation that the DWP would be in any way helpful ...

Back in January 2013 the late Michael Meacher MP found my site, data and asked if he could use it in the House of Commons to attack Iain Duncan-Smith over Atos and the DWP..

As for getting to an assessment ...

I have pains in heels, legs, ankles, back and added to this I do not tolerate warm temperatures and sweat way, way too much and have recently had a series of blackouts, full seizure and other symptoms of a brain tumour I am seeing Neurology about in August. I am in pain all day every day in one way or another or several at once.

So you can imagine I was a little surprised at your response?

Thanks anyway.

Martin Haswell BSc

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

From: Peter Lyne

Sent: 25 July 2016 08:43

To: Martin Haswell

Subject: RE: Cheated by All

Hi Martin,

Thanks for your reply.

If I may make a constructive suggestion, as it is clearly apparent from within your very detailed first e-mail that your mobility is worsening. I would advise you to attend an assessment.

I have discussed issues with many disabled people on matters relating to Personal Independence Payments (PIP) which is what I believe you are referring to rather than Independent Living Allowance.

DLA was replaced by PIP for people aged between 16 and 65. The higher rate of the mobility component of PIP (which allows people to receive Motability) means that if an individual can walk more than 20 metres they lose their entitlement to Motability.

However, if a qualified medical practitioner or assessor were to see the difficulties you are experiencing, then you may find that the DWP will be more sympathetic to your specific needs.

Remaining within the guidelines and stipulations set by the DWP is perhaps the only way in which you can protect your future independence. If you do not agree with the results of your assessment then you have the right to appeal. However, this can take in excess of 6 months which causes many disabled people considerable anxiety and distress.

I hope that this response has been of some assistance to you.

Regards,

Peter.

========================================

Message Received: Jul 25 2016, 08:19 AM

From: "Martin Haswell"

To: "Peter Lyne"

Cc:

Subject: RE: Cheated by All

Hi Peter

Sorry ... so much information sometimes forgot the relevant things.

Two things really I need to find a way around...

The DWP have cancelled my Incapacity Benefit and this is going to make things hard. They are also being dicks about it because I did not go to an assessment, I have NEVER been at an assessment and not gone to four in the last five years without issue.

It begs belief how they can state your fit when you have failed to do something so simple and travel several miles, simple for someone without anything wrong with them that is.

Also I am getting near to not being able to get around even in my home town and difficulty with housework and silly things, not to mention the depression and anxiety that comes with it. Yet each time I ask my GP he just looks at me blankly and changes the subject. The last time he told me to ask the Citizen’s Advice, who I shall meet in a couple of days time and all everyone says is that the Citizen’s Advice are useless as all they do is advise.

I cannot see how they can help in this regard.

I had been making remarks and trying to think how to get some help for a number of months when suddenly the DWP decide to broadside me with more off their deceitful crap.

All I ever get is organisations that tell you to go to one of half a dozen others and eventually you start getting told to go to organisations you have already been to

Many thanks for replying I was not expecting something back so fast and so early in the morning.

Yours sincerely

Martin Haswell BSc

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

From: Peter Lyne

Sent: 25 July 2016 08:10

To: Martin Haswell

Subject: RE: Cheated by All

Hello Martin,

Many thanks for contacting me and for the detailed summary of your many medical conditions as well as the numerous barriers you are facing or have experienced.

However, you have not stated as to how I could prove to be of assistance to you and what your present dilemma is.

I do have links with various legal experts but am unsure as to whether it is a legally related matter that you want to discuss.

Could you please send further details so that I can consider a way in which I may be able to be of assistance.

Thank you,

Peter Lyne.

Founder of Mobility and Support Information Service (MASIS).

========================================

Message Received: Jul 25 2016, 07:36 AM

From: "Martin Haswell"

To: "info@masis.org.uk"

Cc:

Subject: Cheated by All

Dear Sirs

I have a situation that the CAB are helping me with but I am not filled with confidence by them.

I have contacted others too but one turns out has no advocacy or legal people, despite saying they did on their website.

Instead of droning on for 7 pages or so,, as there is a hell of a lot and that’s without anyone else I have been involved with in public services, which involves two Police Forces and four local councils for instance, I will be brief with a short report.

· Twenty years of life screwed up

· Currently and for years suicidal thoughts out of anxiety or boredom

· Have Fibromyalgia which causes pains or embarrassment

o Heels, Arches, Ball of feet

o Ankles

o Left knee

o Hips

o Anxiety

§ So bad now loss use of legs

§ Tingling arms

o Depression

o Body Temperature and Over Sweating

o Skin Conditions 3 areas

§ Ignored by NHS 14 years plus

§ Diagnosed myself 2013

§ Confirmed Guy's Hospital 2014

§ Then realised they knew as I was on only two drugs for FMS for 2 years

o Bad short term memory loss most of the day every day

· Collapsed Vertebrae (x-rays private)

o Back pain that lasts for weeks on end

o NHS deliberately x-rayed so collapse would not show, foetal position

o Had for around 8 years plus

· Possible Brain Tumour or Epilepsy

o Seizure lasting ten minutes

o Frequent Blackouts

o Irritation on forehead

o Irritation Right Eye Socket

o Forgetting Words

· Damaged Right Knee

o Not full diagnosis

o First spotted by Orthopaedic Surgeon Dr Saksena at Chase Farm Hospital

o Was supposed to be seen by Barnet Hospital

o Barnet tried to refuse to see me under violent conduct (were unsuccessful)

o Then they ignored knee and look at feet

· Inguinal Hernia

o Pain from one repair

o On inspection found second hernia left and painful black lump right

o Then tried to say nothing showed up, I challenged and he admitted lying about result

o That conversation is recorded

· As the last remark 95% of NHS and others recorded by me over 7 years plus

Got so fed up with so many disability,, help & advice organisations that did not help with this or many other things I started blogging and publishing my evidence …

· BLOGS ..

o asaintcalledallnights.blogspot.com

§ I have a back up blog, in case government managed to close me down, where I am thanked by a man of the cloth (he and his family made to feel like liars by NHS)

o Another on CPUs and Computing

o Another on Orchids

o Another on Reptiles, Amphibians & Fish

o Another on British Wildlife

o Several others

o A YouTube Channel

o At last look I had tipped over 330,000 visitors

I would be grateful for any help and advice you could provide.

Thank you for your time.

Yours faithfully

Martin Haswell BSc

Sent from Mail for Windows 10

THE END IS NIGH

During all my time acquiring evidence against all of the public services I came across I would also ask myself questions about it all.

One of those is 'do they do this knowing they all help each other out to screw the public over?'

Now in my estimation the absolute best conspiracies only work when there are extremely few that are aware of their existence.

I have no doubt that at the top they are always thinking of these things whether it is in government, some private American owned company such as Serco ... or both.

One of the most difficult things for me to accept, as I sure believe it has also been the case for the majority of visitors, was that Doctors and general Practitioners are involved in this crap. Accepting that took a long time which is why it took years to build up the data for this blog. But were they and are they aware.

One single GP I was under actually admitted the lying and cheating but told me that their hands were tied by the NHS. SO that General Practitioners took the blame for something they did not do.

Now I will state that I first explained to her, Dr Huq, that they did this to help out the DWP and all Local Councils to save money and she looked intrigued. Then the a month or so later I went there with the truth ... a refusal letter for DLA from the DWP that stated I was turned down because Dr Huq was unable to ill in forms.

She went into a rage and said that she has filled these inn for 20 years and that the DWP had lied and that when a form is not filled in correctly the DWP returned it to the practice. So they lied and then conveniently forgot and then lied to me, saying they did not have enough medical evidence.

Some weeks later I handed in not one but TWO privately performed X-rays of my back because she wanted to see them. We were meant to meet up and she would tell me what she thought of the X-rays but ... when I came back in to make an appointment her stunned staff informed me she had marched in one morning, stated she had, had enough of the NHS, spun around and walked out! Taking my X-rays with her and staff having to phone the NHS to get a stand in GP until they had moved all the patients to other clinics.

So it would seem they knew patients were being screwed for money but did not know the bigger picture.

She learnt something that other GP's I have had have not. Be careful or you will be left holding the baby!

But if they did not know then how were the NHS doing  it?

I fully believe I now know the answer to that question.

Recently I had a phone conversation with the DWP where an odd, not too bright but patronizing woman, who obviously thinks all those without jobs are scum, said that they basically needed a letter where the GP worded it like he was there when I had a major seizure and fell unconscious.

That statement from her was so obviously lame that my answer was that GPs, Doctors, Nurses and Specialists cannot follow all their patients around 24 hours a day to see these healthh events when they happen and of course, IF they happen too.

Then I got a letter from my GP to give to the DWP and that question had lodged right into my mind, it was that bloody stupid.

When I got home I had a friend here who is himself a professional and was a social worker for Camden Council for 15 years. So he dealt a lot with people and their health issues and their Doctors and GP's. I looked at the letter and I spotted the word 'alleged'.I showed it to him and he reeled in horror and said that the use of that word in that context makes it appear that I am lying.

I laughed and said "What are they actually going to say that I made up a long list of symptoms for more than 15 years then waited all that time to say ... "Oh, guess what ... it is Fibromyalgia!" Fifteen years plus! REALLY?!

I was not happy with the letter I had just paid them £25 for and so sent them an email. The next day, yesterday, the GP called me up and told me that "We have to put alleged for legal reasons"?! I then told him that it was unny he should say that as when I spoke to the DWP they basically wanted a letter that was worded in such a way that he was standing behind me when the seizure happened and all the other Fibromyalgia stuff had happened. I told him that I told her that this was effing ludicrous and based on this no one would be getting any money at all who actually possessed all limbs while not confined to a wheelchair! I think he saw what I was getting at?

Anyway he agreed to re-write the letter. So I am taking to back today.

But then I thought ... "Wait a minute? I am assuming that because he said he had to put that 'alleged' in for legal reasons that a solicitors firm told them to do this. But WHAT IF it was the NHS?!"

BOOM! LIGHTNING!!

Suddenly every Doctor's letter states 'alleged' while the DWP want a written account of a GP witnessing this?! There's your trap. THAT'S YOUR CONSPIRACY!

Hmm ... do I bow at this point or just saunter quietly out the back door?!

LMFAO ...

Oh and the seizure? 

The appointment came through this morning ... oddly I do not have to ring up and it is already set ...

Now remember ... this appointment below is because of symptoms I have told all five GP Surgeries about I have been under while in Enfield.

I cannot recall if it occurred or I told any one before Enfield. Hmm the ear thing, yes. The eye thing I am pretty sure, no.

Sooo if it is a tumour ... or turns out to be something ... fatal ... or progressively debilitating..