OBSTACLES & HINDRANCES

Wondered whether I was running into the age-old problems on Twitter as I had wondered about this blog? Admittedly I had not republished any of my evidence in a number of years so I did that recently with the blog titles 'Country of the Damned' and 'The Files of Truth'.

The issues are that there is just so much that two things are possible as a reaction .. the first is that it is all so fantastical that people doubt the story. The other problem is due to the severity and clandestine nature of some of it it may well be fear?

I do what I do to make a difference and do not see much point in picking fights with brain-dead socialists, the far left ones at any rate, to just whinge. That is NOT what I want to achieve.

Primarily I want my daughter to get help and obviously myself because I am not much use to her right now and I feel helpless and guilty over that!

But I also want to help others .. as many as I can so I find it a little bizarre that out of 1,700 followers all doing their nut about the same thing that the very revealing 'Country of the Damned' post pinned to my daughter's stream now as well as my own .. has only been retweeted on Twitter 63 times.

Frustrating is that even though it has only been retweeted 63 times .. in just 7 weeks the post has been viewed over 1,600 times. The frustrating part is, as I explained the numbers to my daughter, imagine it had been retweeted by just half of our followers? Tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands seeing just some of the truth?!

I have done everything I am able to do over a decade and it has cost me beyond belief, almost my sanity countless times and added to this probably around £30,000 to £40,000 .. my home, my car and even my business plans!

Received help in that time? Next to ZERO!

I would like to return north and get out of the hell hole I am in .. except it is not easy for the following reasons and why we need help ..

• Getting about
• Knees, feet, heart, energy, thighs
• Supposed to cycle as this helps the condition
  • Cannot do this currently and ..
  • Nowhere to keep a bike in Birkenhead
  • Children will hurt themselves or damage the bike

• Anxiety
• Phobias
• Memory Loss
• Confidence
  • I can return if I regain my confidence

• Standing
• Walking
• New Places .. except countryside settings
  • Needed around two years to get used to the area and feel like it was home
  • Never made it four months due to lack of help

• Daughter
• 4 Children WITH her .. two autistic .. three destructive
• 3 Bedroom House
• Not even paying half the rent
• Messing around over Autism
• Would not let her work, social services
  • Threatened to sue her for neglect if she worked ..
  • Had happened to many others around England and Wales
• You cannot own anything like
  • Computers
  • Expensive Cameras
  • Tablets
  • Phones are regularly broken
  • House just not suitable
• Locks placed on all doors .. got broken off
• Food wasted on a daily basis

• Lives in Birkenhead which makes me .. uncomfortable
• Confusing to get around ..
  • Very complicated in some places, straightforward in others
  • My short term memory loss

• Bought her a car
  • Car was confiscated by Police
  • As a insurance payment was missed we failed to realise
• Paid Road Tax
• Paid few months Insurance
• Paid food
• Run people around, picked kids up from school
• Tyres on car were punctured twice, Pirellis
• Paid for decorating materials
• Paid deposit on current house
• Bought things for grandchildren, many broken within days
  • Neither house was suitable for children

• Nothing from local council at all in support, money or even right housing

• Only 15% of rent being paid
• Benefit cap on two children
• Council Tax now expected to be paid .. despite getting nothing
• Not allowed to work or will be sued for neglect

• My Business ..
• Blogging x12
• Photography
  • Flickr
  • Alamy
  • Photofolio
  • Art of the Deviants

• Screwed by ..
• DWP & Stopping PIP
  • Stopped DLA years ago
  • Stopped Housing Benefit
• Universal Credit
  • Jumping through unfair hoops and sanctions
• Working Tax Credits
  • Cancelled at the 13^th hour
• NHS
  • Refusing to diagnose me for years
  • I had to self diagnose one condition after 13 years of asking!
  • Missing symptoms to things already diagnosed

• Google
  • Lost TAGS for 6 years
    • Android App did not work
  • Screwed advertising for over a year
    • Google Chrome and Blogger was not displaying ads in 'DESIGN'
  • Suspicious viewer numbers
  • Google Adsense Revenue frozen 23 months currently

• Previous to blogging I spent 3 years chasing Radical Muslims
• Went into business twice
  • Own Aquarium Store with partnership 'CF' but ..
  • No Help to do this and ..
  • Partner was an idiot
  • eBay Orchid Store
  • Partner was an idiot and crazy 'AM'

• Currently no income whatsoever
  • Not even benefits
  • No GP
  • No Dentist

That is the level of help in the UK if your white and disabled and this fact is totally ignored and even denied by help and advice agencies that I now know are run by socialists.

As are the local councils.

Want to save money?Yeah take everything away from white people on all levels .. no comeback for that. Better still let us grab the by the scruff of the neck and bury their noses in the shit while we do all this to them.

Funny they harp on about racism when it is performed on a daily basis and has done every single day for at least a decade. I am living proof of this as is y daughter!

Not a gambling man. Need the right place, assurances and money coming in to be able to fight my health issues and achieve what I want to do .. to be of help to my daughter and grandchildren.

Yet I am constantly being hammered in the face on TV and online about how fuckking privileged we are because we are white.

Yes this is what white privilege does to you from time to time ..

A GOOD GP

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle!

In this report by The Canary a GP, based in my old town of Brighton, has complained about the government, austerity and people dying.

Many problems were stated asking with mental health and alcoholism. Tell me about it! I constantly want to head towards the latter every single day. I constantly think about ending my own life in different ways but have never plucked to the courage to go all the way.

I honestly think I'll never be normal again at any point in the future.

I honestly also don't I'll be here six months from now too.

I constantly fear too that my daughter won't be and that scares me even more. Along with what will happen to my grandchildren, who they have been looking for excuses to take away .. from my daughter who has cancer.

So this is one seemingly very decent GP?

That's encouraging and I always knew they would be out there but .. where are all the other GPs?! That's .. the problem.

Not in it to save lives or their Hippocratic oath s, oh no. In it for the careers and the salaries not to mention the perks.

Many think this being a GP places them above the rest of society, that they are immune to basic human emotions and allows them to be patronising while lying to you or fobbing you off.

It's funny if it not they are always talking about the overseas trading of the future. Especially when the spotlight is Brexit.

But ask yourself this .. what weight would or politicians words carry overseas when it's finally out that they left their most vulnerable people to die?! Do you think it would carry much? I do not think so.

So why are we employing them?

Factor in that they are being exposed seemingly every five minutes for lying, cheating, obtaining monies illegally and even paedophilia.

Oh but they are soo need and soo deserving of all that money they waste.

Taking the people's money and then allowing those same people to die while suffering.

https://www.thecanary.co/uk/analysis/2018/07/24/a-gps-emotional-plea-shows-how-tory-austerity-is-killing-homeless-people/

THE HIDDEN NHS QUESTIONS

Well it is still going on .. but there are a couple of things I hve noticed about this 38 Degrees petition to Jeremy Hunt about buying General Practitioners off to not refer people to hospital ..

• It has taken a lot longer than I thought to get to 200,000 signatures .. over a week longer?!
• Amoral society, anyone?
• No mention of punishment to anyone about giving these incentives or accepting 
• The 38 Degree web-page manages to continue flashing up people donating and signing
• Even when the Internet has been down for over an hour?!

I dud email 38 Degrees about this last point and have no no response.

In the email I told them that the one thing that gave me hope is organisations out there that help or start petitions to help causes are against the lies and corruption rife in central and local government as well as the rest of the public services. So why does their web-page appear to be lying to me?

You would think that a reasonable explanation would have been forthcoming? Being a website for good causes you do not want people thinking that they are lying to them too?!

Anyway the petition is still ongoing and I thought I would do an update while trying to drum up a few more signatures .. if the petition is legit, of course.

LOL!

Note that the petition amount is 200,315 and is still rising but I noticed it slowed down a fair bit.

Made me think how odd this is and ..

• Did a lot of people see it but mostly are amoral idiots that did not sign it?
• Does even 38 Degrees and Causes.org not reach enough people?!
• Things go viral and I for one, and probably others, posted this on 3 separate Facebook pages, my own wall, one on Universal Credit complaints where I am one of the admins and .. on an NHS Corruption page .. so how has this not gone viral!

I heard of a recent report about a lady left in a hallway of a hospital for a couple of days with a broken back too?! Hmm just remembered that and let me take .. a look?

Ah .. found them .. one link to the story in The Mirror below and one by The Independent ..

Funny then that I watched BBC's Click and listened to a woman stating that they do not agree with robot/AI (Artificial Intelligence) Doctors and nor do they agree with this new health service where you deal with your health online and no need to see a GP. When asked if AI could ever replace a real Doctor you could see she was confused about how to answer before stating "I would be very surprised if it ever happened in my lifetime".

Yeah .. because you cannot lie to and fob off your patients to save money. 

Or in other words .. the fucking backlash you would get if the government started programming robots, Androids and AI to lie to the public would be catastrophic. They would show their depravity and everyone would ask .. what next?! 

The very idea of the rules about not causing a human harm would be broken at the AI's first inception of dealing with people. We are talking about health here so lying to and fobbing off human's to save money would be forcing them to endure their pain and therefore causing them harm!

Or in other words it wont happen in her lifetime because they will never be allowed to program AI, Robots or Androids to pull the tricks they have been pulling.

If she genuinely has no idea what has been going on in the NHS for a very long time then she is purely and simply extremely narrow minded. I have seen big changes going on already and even Spencer Kelly stated that all everyone is talking about now is AI. Graphics cards are being mass produced for deep learning projects and this is happening right bloody now! In ten years time it is going to be a very different place as far as AI is concerned and .. hell .. it is probably going to look very different in as little as five years. Did no one tell her about quantum computers?!

LMAO!

Oh and the very last link is one report by the Daily Mail asking why so many Accident and Emergency departments are missing broken bones?!

Yeah .. the last time I checked broken bones were not only fucking obvious and things that stands out but that x-rays were not that expensive, compared to things like MRI or CAT scans!

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/how-could-someone-old-man-11251479

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/nhs-funding-ambulance-waiting-times-marion-nash-broken-back-lancashire-a8251451.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2986953/Why-broken-bones-missed-E.html

THE PAINFUL REPEATS

Damn it.

It has happened yet again. After two days of overdoing it without intending to I am back to being .. in something of a .. well .. state.

I cannot explain what this is like other than it is extremely .. harrowing.

For twenty four hours I have been in a bad way as I was last time this happened and I feel dead tired and extremely depressed. I am ratty and completely fed up with my situation and where I am and in all honesty .. others are not making it easy.

For instance I left the house yesterday and hobbled up to a vape shop after deliberating for an hour or two about whether I would be able to do it and how painful it would be. I am vaping more than usual because I stopped smoking about five days or so ago .. something else I forced myself to do to stop me going .. well, insane. I have to build my money up for various reasons most of them obvious and am amazed with myself for quitting smoking, if I am honest. Though it has not been easy.

So yeah I left the house and managed to get up there and back again and then back into my room which is tiny ..

• 6ft x 9ft
• Contains a bed
• Contains a 29 inch wheeled bike
• Contains a TV
• Contains a PC
• Contains a Laptop
• Contains Two Cameras
• Contains a whole raft of lenses, camera accessories in a large security box
• Contains several camera bogs and a couple of rucksacks
• Contains a chest of drawers
• Contains a couple hundred blu-rays
• Contains various other things

Plus I have a storage area I pay for each month that contains stuff I simply cannot get into this room at all and there is far too much stuff.

Added to this ..

• TV signal is non existent half the time
• Wifi signal fecks up half the time, often half way through uploading my photos and videos
• Living room is out of bounds due to extreme narcissism of someone else affecting my sanity

I digress .. once again.

So I got back in the room, filled my vape tank with the Dinner Lady flavour of Lemon Tart and had barely vaped half of it when there was an ear piercing high pitched shrieking. It turned out to be the fire alarm outside of my room on the ceiling. I waited for someone to deal with it and then gave up, ventured into the hall and I guessed that I had to press the only button? No effect. So I pressed it harder and the noise stopped and the perforations of my eardrums could start to heal.

Suddenly the narcissist appeared at the bottom of the stairs "The fire alarm has gone off" they said before I answered "Yah think?". She then asked if anyone had anything producing smoke upstairs to which I said I had quite smoking five days earlier, not that anyone would notice .. because they don't .. ever. Notice anything. I said no before they then said that it must be my vaping, despite the fact that .. well .. they had just watched me walk in the house. I also pointed out that it can't. Then they disappeared before someone else appeared in the upstairs hallway saying "What is all that noise?" and do not seem to know a fire alarm when they hear one? I said it was the fire alarm and in an odd dig of a statement, I have had about a few things, they said it must be my vaping. "Oh .. don't you start!" I said before they said "well it must be, what else can it be?!" before I then said "I have been vaping for six weeks here and it has not happened before and I have also only been back in the house for five minutes!" to which they then walked downstairs.

So far I have been ribbed about my vaping, smoking, diet, drinking of soft drinks and even wanting to catch buses. Plus despite never being registered with a Doctor .. they are also medical experts and can tell you what they do not have.

Yeah .. you could be forgiven for forgetting, if indeed you had read it recently, that I came here with the only one registered with a disability .. suicidal, slashes on my arm after finding out that my daughter has cancer, my granddaughter is Autistic to dangerous levels, made myself homeless again trying to help them and live 250 miles away from home and .. my daughter and I have been lied to, not supported nor given any financial help at all, hence my loss savings, and left for dead by the public services that are paid a large portion of the taxpayers money to help people that are vulnerable.

Yeah .. you might think that people could be a little more accommodating and a little less .. 'diggy' towards me and even a little helpful? Yeeeeah .. no.

When I compare this to what I just did for four months and that I felt guilty for leaving when and the way I did, even though my daughter and I were victims of a bunch of evil lies and that is from my evil ex, it boggles my mind. Yeah .. they do not appreciate that either and yet I basically get called a selfish twat to my face and behind my back by the narcissistic one that thinks their mild epilepsy is worse then someone else's terminal cancer?! Yeah .. no kidding there and I so wish that I was.

Of course yesterday the digging was at a time when I was low and the worst part about it is they should not only know by now that I would be down, because of the two days, but one was told as much yesterday morning. Of course I then get a run down of the latest thing that she thinks that she has and I heard her talking to the waster or a partner the morning before as she was reading things out from a webpage from her phone and I heard "See? It causes diabetes .."

Yeah .. they do not have diabetes.

They have spent a few minutes hobbling around the house with a walking stick .. I mean who does that? I do not know nor have ever known anyone that uses a stick that actually uses it around their own house! Unless your particularly bad with some affliction. You certainly do not walk around with it one minute and then without it an hour later before then using it again a few hours later. Oddly the two times it was used was walking around the kitchen when she had just called us for dinner so knew we would be appearing. The ONLY times I have seen it in her hand. Also bizarrely it has also only appeared in the last two weeks out of six and since I had my first couple bad days and was limping around. It is a competition with her for sympathy .. except she does not get any and neither do I and nor do I want any. In fact even when I am bad and feeling ratty because no one down here has helped and, in fact, has been quite the opposite .. I get annoyed with myself because I cannot do everything  myself. I so hate being independent, or at least I was to some degree, while feeling like I am dependent, because I have trouble doing things on my own.

Right now I am supposed to be going to my storage facility which I still have not sorted out or moved into a smaller and therefore cheaper unit?! Yeah .. over six weeks.

My own daughter who grew up in a strange land does not understand how some people are with me down here. She does not understand the lack of help, lack of understanding and nor the digs I get about things. She certainly does not understand the narcissist at all.

In fact my daughter wants me back there and I would love to be back there .. helping her .. except ..

• I need money back behind me - court case over that in a couple weeks
• I still need to do my work - blogging and photography (see below)
• My equipment can not be kept at my daughter's house .. my Autistic granddaughter would destroy it
• I am missing a PC that can edit my photos and videos (spent allocated money helping MY family)
• It is a three bedroom house and .. there are five of them, I would make six
• Public services did not give a shit which was how the liar managed to twist things, lie and drive me away

Oh and two important things to note of late ..

• The media agent is being an incompetent twat and now very obviously dragging his feet after all his fucking promises have been broken and now looking to be lies .. or he has been paid off which even my daughter is now beginning to think ..
• A GP Surgery refused to register me and to everyone's shock down here .. umm .. knew my name?!
• To the last one my social worker friend went mad over this "How can they know your name?!"

To that last point I told my friend "exactly" but that I already knew and he said "Why didn't you ask them?" to which I replied "Oh yeah, like they are going to tell the truth and say 'Oh the NHS called around a load of Doctors in the area and warned us you might walk in'?!"

How can a surgery know someone's name before it is given to them and especially when my last GP is located 250 miles away in Birkenhead and I am in a surgery in Hackney in central London?!

Even my mother was in complete shock by that t the point where she did not try to take over the conversation and said "What? How could they know that?!" to which I replied ..

"I have told you and have tried to tell you repeatedly for a few years now .. I am public enemy one, two and three to the public services in this country"

THE NUMBERS ARE UP .. & UP

Ooh boy.

Just got into a disagreement with someone that pooh-poohed the news I am about to talk about who got it all wrong!

"Oh that has been known about for years! Look here is a link"

First off we got into a disagreement which was heated because he started it. Oddly he comes out with some crazy sounding conspiracy theories and get annoyed when you disagree with him. Like a wall around London they will build to protect the rich and wealthy which will be built after they have gotten everyone poor out. Yeah there are web-pages about that shit. He also states that the poor wont be allowed in the countryside of the UK because that will be used for holidays for the rich and wealthy. Yeah right.

But I mention that a campaign group, 38 Degrees and see below, has just emailed me that states that they have started a campaign against General Practitioners taking money and bribes to not refer people off to hospital and he pooh-poohs it?!

Remember me stating about British white people simply not working together? Could be down to egos and not wanting others to do something right and notable when they want it to be them? Could be, I just do not know.

HE then showed me it was on the Guardian newspaper and my arguments were two fold with some other things. First off the Guardian is seen as being left and not many take notice of it just as the Daily Mail is seen as being right-wing. "No .. it is centre" was his response. I very literally burst out laughing! Yeah, I said, that is why they get Kevin Maguire and Andrew Pierce from both papers who argue like cat and dog, though probably for show. Because one is right and the other is centre?! Lol.

This was the same person I argued with about the BBC as he claimed they were right-wing and he also claimed that Jeremy Corbyn is left.

Everyone he ever blames for doing anything to him is right-wing, or saying something he does not agree with. Everyone that says stuff that makes it look like they might take away all the things that piss hi off personally .. always seem to be centre.

The BBC is most certainly not right-wing nor have they ever been. Though this could change.

Jeremy Corby is most certainly NOT centre. Neither is The Guardian!

I got a lecture once again about how good st research he is and how he keeps abreast of all this stuff and that is why he knew about it and I did not?!

No .. I have two fucking news apps on my phone .. because I never bother keeping abreast of things and have not posted nearly 3,400 posts about stuff in the news!

He also completely missed the point .. apart from the fact that no one I know has ever been aware of this very old news story about GP's taking money and bribes to not refer people, the point was that it was being reacted to by shock and the fact that a charity has picked up on it means it will not only be accepted as a fact .. but that many are now finding out about it! TOTALLY .. missed the point.

Plus that is not including the fact that he pooh-poohed something I was rather excited about! Cheers mate, I will remember to do that with you next time you give me reasons why I should believe some crazy sounding conspiracy theory .. like walls around London and hundred thousands of homes being built to house the poor and working class they are ferrying up to Manchester by the coach load. His words. Oh boy.

So the campaign site 38 Degrees seem to have picked up on this .. I have yet to sign it and I am going to put this on here to see if I can crash their site. Lol, joking of course.

When I first went onto the web-page there was a little over 160,000 people and a few minutes later there was 167,000 people?! Hang on ..

Signed it and it is at 171,000 by the time I finish this sentence, God know how many it will be by the time I publish this post? They also want 500,000 signatures and I think it will pass this in less than 48 hours time?

It seems almost poetic that I have been talking and posting about this only very recently, claiming I predicted this long ago and now it has come out as a campaign!

I .. told you so! A long TIME ago too!

So Tory policies are so good a recent policy, oh who am I kidding? A long time Tory policy is that you should also use LIES and cover ups because no one agrees with you.

Once again ..

• Do not diagnose and save money and ..
• Save money for the DWP while you are at it and ..
• Save money for a hundred or so Local Councils too
• Maybe save money for others I have not thought of?!
• Oh except maybe all the taxpayer funded OMBUDSMAN too?!

I REST MY CASE!

Well do not worry .. I wont rest .. until I am dead.

Meanwhile go and sign the petition!

ADDITIONAL:

First off I realised there was no mention of the fact that General Practitioner's should be struck off in their scores .. except for the fact that those that have this power are also those more guilty than the guilty GP's!

Secondly I think that their target of 500,000 is going to be reached pretty quickly?! More on that before I end this additional part in an hour ..

I have also been having my chest, or what I call, episodes. They have been playing up now and then for about a week. No registering of irregular heart beat on my blood pressure monitor either in the last ten minutes and despite two readings. These palpitations have been pretty strong and at it for a couple of hours with the present episode.

This has caused me to wonder what I would do if I died from all of this crap. I mean I am being, as well as have been, ripped asunder physically and emotionally thanks to the NHS and the DWP along with two Local Councils because of nothing more than pure evil, acts of inhumanity over pure greed. Money, in other words. I am not the only one either as my daughter and grandchildren are having the exact same done to them.

If I died .. none one that visited here would know that I had or why I had died.

I have nothing in place to let people know either and this is because I do work alone and .. I simply do not trust anyone.

Believe me when I say I would love to have a team of people I worked with. Like minded people and thus far, sorry to everyone else, I have only ever met one and we already do something together. We manage a Facebook page over Universal Credit, despite the fact the one I do this with does not claim it! Lol.

I suppose that the ownership of my blogs would go to that person, they would have to acquire access, or a new password, and then announce my death and the reason for it? Provided, that is, that nothing happens to them .. annnd .. well they do have something too!

We both have a particularly questionable .. five years ahead of us. They have one with a question mark and I cannot imagine being alive in five years, if I am honest with you.

Back to the topic and two hours later the number of signatures is at ..

176,005 and bearing in mind it is now after 10pm so likely slowed down in the last hour?

That is roughly 2,500 per hour but this will fluctuate but if we combined 2,500 signatures an hour by 48 hours .. comes to 120,000. 

OK so maybe it wont get to 500,000 in 48 hours? Unless of course it spreads like wild fire, oh please God please, on social media!

Then maybe the TV News networks might get asked by an ever growing number of people how they have failed to mention this?! Oh once again .. please God! Lol.

Late Addition TWO:

From a link to an article in the Guardian newspaper it was revealed that General Practitioners were offered 'incentives' back in 2015. The link is at the bottom. The way the guy was talking to me was if it was a lot earlier than that. I was thinking maybe 2004 to 2007 but no..

I first published that this was going on when I first started this blog back in 2012. That was the other thing that was annoying about a recent conversation .. I had already declared it so was not the 'new' news it appears to be to others. I was also aware this was going on for years before I even started blogging ..

Because I had been quite deliberately fucked about from around the year 2000 to 2003 and have letters regarding it fro 2003. But it was I that discovered that the pain in my feet I had been asking about was a symptom of Fibromyalgia and discovered that around three years ago. So from 2000 to 2015 I was asking constantly and sent for tests but not concurrently. I had to basically either had to nag them to death for the next test or manoeuvre them into a position where they had no choice.

https://speakout.38degrees.org.uk/campaigns/3553?utm_source=email&utm_medium=blast&utm_campaign=28_2_2018_gpreferals_50ktest&bucket=email-blast-28_2_2018_gpreferals_50ktest

Guardian Report from 2015 ..

https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2015/oct/01/gp-practices-offered-rewards-for-not-referring-patients-to-hospitals

THE QUESTION IN WAITING

Well this is .. no this was expected.

It has been obvious to me, because I suspected they was doing this long before I started to record them, that the GP's on the NHS were lying to their patients.

Now I did have one admit to me that this was forced upon them by the NHS trusts. Don't do referrals for expensive scans, don't refer due expensive treatment, don't diagnose and don't prescribe expensive drugs. Also don't tell the patient's why otherwise you get kicked off the NHS. Nice.

She quit our of disgust for the NHS.

A couple years later I had a pharmacist admit they were to to no good after a massive drop in drugs prescribed which forced them to throw away drugs that were passing their 'use by' dates. They were then not re-ordering many drugs for this reason.

The trouble with this coming out was pretty evident very early on.

Who would believe this was going on? Not many let me tell you.

Out of all the people that haven't visited my blog .. just who would suspect that hospitals and GP practices works actually lie? Especially when they swear an oath?!

There are families where one suspected, the other did not and it nearly split the families down the middle. It probably has in many cases, though I've not come across them personally.

But I knew it would come. Because I knew the numbers that suspected and/or discovered for themselves would grow. Albeit slowly.

I have blogged about this for more than long enough, the whole five and a half years plus I was blogging, long before I started blogging, made plenty of predictions and even supplied plenty of evidence. I even have a whole mountain of evidence I have yet to get around to publishing!

I have dozens and dozens of recordings that span over three years or more and the trouble with those is ..

• Collectively it is way larger than their piddling amounts of free cloud storage they still offer you
• They are not catalogued outside of the dates they were taken
• It would take an age to go through and I was taken up by cancer diagnosis and difficult and Autistic children
• I was meant to get someone else to go through it all but they moved away prior to me moving near them!

So are we closing in on something happening? Finally?! Old father tie knows the answers to these and many other questions.

I think the best way to prevent anything like this ever happening again is to absolutely ridicule and embarrass those that thought they were smarter than the British people as a whole. So much so that no one i the future would want the same thing ever happening to them.

After all there is such a thing as punishment and it IS supposed to be a deterrent!

Not much been happening in the way of true deterrents in recent memories.

For instance there is talk about food shortages after Brexit?

Oh so forget the scaremongering for a moment? Your stating that because they wont receive loads of free money they do not deserve, because they want money to sort out problems they refuse to, your going to hold the UK to ransom by refusing or imposing unfair and criminal like tariffs on food imports so basically threatening 60 million people with starvation?

Anyone heard of that court in The Hague?

Well war criminals get charged and sentenced because of inhuman acts towards large numbers of people, I mean that is how it works .. RIGHT?! But what about threatening acts of evil against large numbers of people?!

Also if this was the case .. I mean serious food shortages then why did we even get a referendum on it and why was none of this both realised and mentioned during the run up to the damned thing?!

THE SLOW RELEASE PILL

Well it was only a matter of time.

The trouble was when I started out with all this was that I knew that the GP's, Doctors and hospitals were lying to people but how was I going to get everyone else to realise this fact?

I had a hard enough time with friends and family when I realised and it was not long before I also realised I was going to have to prove it. People did not think I was lying .. they just thought I was mistaken or that there was some explanation to what had happened and what was said to me that did not mean I was lied to.

For these people things got a little weird when one GP admitted it to me. Told me that they were under strict instructions from the NHS Trusts not to refer patients for anything expensive. This could be scans, treatments and were even told not to diagnose or give out expensive drugs. By people and groups that bought nothing to the table as far as health care was concerned. Then she quite and quite acrimoniously too, stating she had, had enough of the NHS to her five stunned members of staff. Her name was Dr Huq.

Who would have thought that Doctors who swear an oath would behave in this way and that it would be such a large percentage of them. Some did try to resist this and did not like it and stated as much to me while most .. followed orders without batting an eyelid.

I could literally work out who should and should not be a Doctor when going back through my medical past.

I even had a pharmacist agree with me when we got friendly over time and I mentioned what I knew was going on within the NHS. He surprised me with his agreement of my claims and stated that he had seen a massive drop in the prescriptions he handed out. What the powers that be failed to take into account was that drugs now not being handed out in a big way would then be sitting on the shelves of the pharmacists everywhere and .. pass their 'use by' dates and then have to be thrown away. Which the pharmacist told me had been happening for a while. They were losing money, so much for saving it, and as a result they had no choice but to stop ordering so many drugs in. Sometimes not at all.

Now I could go to one doubting Thomas I knew and finally explain why he has been complaining to me for the last year that one of the biggest chemists out there, Lloyds Chemist, were almost always out of his pills completely. I explained that even the ones that he did get on the day were likely a lot lower stock wise. He was stunned as I explained what I had been told by this pharmacist and I would end "well I did try to tell you".

But there was still everyone else and I did publish several recordings on here in the early days that left no doubts at all that I was lied to, one specialist even admitting it on tape. Those that bothered to listen realised this and one thanked me for what I had done. This vicar's family had been lied to and it had almost split his family in two. I felt good that I managed to help someone before their lies had taken a terrible effect on one particular family. 

Money has proved to be ore important to politicians in the last decade or two than human life, pain and suffering but they have the audacity to refuse voluntary euthanasia based on it being morally wrong.

Far too much hypocrisy among the government, politicians and powers that be.

For instance we are a nation that claims to love our dogs and we would not see them suffer and put them to sleep but when it comes to us? No .. we are meant to stay and suffer and when this means something that is incurable or a situation that we ourselves cannot do anything about .. this is wrong, pure and simple.

Makes me laugh out loud when I think that this may involve what they believe to be morally right based on some mad religious principles. Very likely the biggest hypocrisy of all?

So in the BBC app, or on their web-page, there is a report that states that the levels of satisfaction of General Practitioners is at an all time low!

I believe now that there will be an exponential rise in these numbers because it was only a matter of time that it would build up.

Just like me I would not be surprised to discover that every single dissatisfied patient had the exact same issues I had with friends and family. Some might have been called liars by those they cared about or just simply an idiot. This has a bad effect on an individual over time that could surpass even that of the effect their health condition has on them. Stress, anxiety and depression spring to mind off the bat and God only knows how much damage they have done. God only knows why these oath swearing Doctors did not get together and point out the detrimental effect it would have on patients.

Even that pharmacist told me that whet the government and NHS were doing with their actions is create a ticking time bomb. "If you do not treat these conditions that can become far more complicated, far more expensive to deal with down the line and maybe even cause deaths!" is what he said to me at one point. I told him it never even occurred to me to think about the numbers of drugs not being handed out nor the effects on these health conditions.

As with everyone else there is another inevitable fact .. one of your friends or family members states that your Doctor or the hospital has lied to you and you can likely pass that off. Maybe you dismiss it out of fear? The one person that you can and should rely on above all else is your Doctor and what if you no longer can? Would be kind of frightening for some. Was for me. But what if after a while you have two friends or family members stating that? After all everyone needs a Doctor. Well OK there are rare times when people do not even have Doctors, my father did not. Then there are those that always seem to be a fit as a proverbial fiddle, the fortunate bastards, and hardly, if ever, visit the GP they registered with. They would never find out.

So yeah .. I had two things to wait for .. one is each person being told by more than one person they know that they have been lied to. The other is some investigative journalists actually doing their jobs, as to being handed something on a plate by a member of the public and then laying claim to it.

Let us not forget that it is well documented within the UK that nurses and Doctors were asked by the government and the DWP, indirectly, to lie about patients health conditions. To state that they did not have one or that they were ot as bad as the patient was claiming. This was to help the DWP save money as well as the NHS, while they were all being paid of course, and I realised that this must go on with other public services to save them money too. Number one being the very long list of local councils spread throughout the UK?

I can tell you one thing after my last visit .. the bedside manner could be improved with some wankers that claimed they knew about my condition but clearly knew fuck all. Eh, Mr Know-It-All?!

One last thing and that is that once again .. why is this report on the BBC's bloody app and not being talked about on the news? Or even Sky News for that matter .. no a few inches of snow that has never been seen before on Earth .. oh no it is just the UK, sorry, is far more important than Doctors and Specialists intentionally leaving people in an endless spiral of pain and suffering.

Not long now I would wager? A year? Two at the most?

Still trying to figure out where all these people are coming from to fill in the half a million homes they are planning in the north of England?

With the vast and inevitable increase in number of people with untreated health conditions and all those they are also killing off becaue of the actions, or lack of them, of the evil trinity of the NHS, DWP and Local Councils .. where are these people coming from?!

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: Satisfaction with GP services at record low - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43213896

THE TORIES ALL FOR THE GUILLOTINE

"Too stunned to comment"

That was the line I had in my notifications in Facebook .. well I had to take a look. I also had no idea what it was I was going to find. Cannot be anything that shocking, .. surely?

Umm yup!

Some Tory .. wan .. person said that the best thing for disabled children is the guillotine?! You had better believe it!

I bet some of you thought the headline was to use the guillotine for the Tories?! LMAO!

Oh .. my .. God .. this just gets .. BETTER! He is a retired GP?! I would be thanking God for this gift were it not so fucking disgusting.

His name is Owen Lister, hmm smeghead? I also have some advice for him .. people that want to behave like that of the animal kingdom, namely reptiles of which I have expertise very literally, would not wear fucking suits! Or clothes for that matter. When we started to become civilised ever so slowly we started wearing clothes. Funny how you would lose the lives of children though. But not your fucking suit. Lol.

But then again maybe he does lose the suit? Maybe he is a naturist and maybe that is a way to catch out amoral people because they have this .. hatred of clothes? Ahhh I am only messing here.

What I am pleased about, if this is at all posible with something like this, is the fact that I have believed and I have harped on for four or five years or more about how I have personally believed that the Tories were actively taking steps to drop disabled people.

Now if you can say that the best thing for disabled children is the guillotine .. take a wild guess at what they secretly think about disabled adults?!

Suddenly it does not sound quite so bonkers as it did as when I first started stating this five years ago. does it?

I have a guy into conspiracy theories who is currently focused on depopulation and the chicken shortage at KFC. Hmm I wonder if I told him that in many areas of the animal kingdom, we are supposed to be above this, it is the weakest and youngest that are preyed on or die first?!

Mr Lister .. I might remind you that nowhere in the animal kingdom do a small number of liars who portray themselves to be human, would lose if society reverted back to an 'animal kingdom' because it requires intelligence, strength and abilities to survive, do a small number live at the top purely because of the number or cockle shells they have horded. Or printed bits of paper, or shiny things .. or paint covered canvas.

Time after time these people prove themselves to be complete fucking idiots that lack anything in the way of wisdom at all.

I have seen this attitude with GP's myself where time after time they mistakenly think they are the smartest and often the most important person in the room. WRONG!

But Owen Lister takes this to a whole new level and now and fucking finally I can prove what I have been trying to tell people for bloody years.

I just have one more thing to say ..

How the fuck did this animals become a GP and .. do they not swear a Hippocratic oath?!

EDIT: It has come to my attention that this man stated this some time ago and that even though the webpage link below has been ... 'UPDATED' that this was still a year ago nearly. I am slowly being asked by each person I know how this did not end up on TV?! A bloody good point!

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/tory-deputy-mayor-owen-lister-558677

THE NEW BASE OF OPERATIONS

OK then .. I m typing this while sitting on a sofa in the new home.

Due to the craziness that is life up here as well as my Fibromyalgia, or Fibrofog part of it, I have yet to spend a single night here.

Around 20% of my stuff is here though .. no desktop computer but I do have this laptop I picked up around a week ago, of course it had to go back for several days so I have only had use of it for around three days.

Now my attention is diverted from .. the photographic side of things to renewing a couple of ID's and this is .. annoying. I have a bag full of ID's which even contains my birth certificate .. but .. things are not the way that they were a couple of decades ago. OK .. maybe a bit longer ago than that?! Lol.

Well what do you know? After some shit weather .. well bout the shittiest I have known for a very long time the sun is shining through the patio doors?! More of that please!

Hmm .. it is midday and the sun is to my right .. meaning that my patio doors and garden face .. umm .. south .. again .. lol!!

Yeah I have held onto a few orchids .. south is OK for now but I guess I can out them off to one side to avoid too much sun in the warmer months. If I am still here by then. If I am still alive by then.

There are a couple of other things I want to set up .. but more on that over the next couple of weeks .. or maybe sooner?

It has been hard to do any work and even writing because I had three pairs of small hands wanting to grab everything and press every button. I also had two sets of paws to deal with. Plus there was only one door key so on many occasions it was impossible to go out and do things. Plus I have been ill and it has been up and down like the proverbial yoyo!

I have to sort out my Internet connection too .. I am not even sure what the signal is like for my mobile network but I seem to use my phone OK when I was here previously with my new landlord.

Oh yeah .. I forgot I also have two pairs of horns to deal with who have disturbed the status quo when all other hands and paws were not causing problems.

In fact just last night another phone-call from a prison inmate in Liverpool just as it was reported on the news that drones and phones were confiscated. Indeed not only do we get this disturbance from within a prison but this was one pair of horns .. lying about another pair of horns ..

.. and the receiver of the phone-call said sternly “Everyone seems to know just when it is I get in the bath because things kick off”. Oh .. I just remembered .. I think that was the night before? Last night was trouble with friends. I think? Gaahhhh, this damned memory issue. When it allows you to remember things it gets the time wrong. It is like the concept of time has been slung out of the proverbial window!

So I have to register with a General Practitioner on Monday, see an advisor about my current situation with my identification along with what to do about the damned DWP.

It will be interesting to see how they react when I tell them what the DWP have done to me over the last few years but more importantly what they did just prior to relocating here and .. why I am here and what the bloody hell benefit support I should apply for. I was supposed to have my own business if you recall but that got cut just a couple of weeks before I moved.

I had a million things to do to and a bunch of stuff to throw out or place into storage .. stuff that needs to be retrieved before very long. Might be a tincey-wincey little problem with that .. though I am probably going to end up ignoring it completely .. as it is daft .. stupid and morally wrong. I will do my utmost to adhere to it but .. they need to learn that life is just not like that .. especially when the fucking pubic services are involved.

As I explained to my daughter several times since I have been up here .. each pubic service has done less and less and less while placing more and more responsibility onto the public. Probably because they have not been allowed to raise their budgets and salaries as they would like? During this process they have also laid out more and more in the way of fines on top of the unfair amounts of council tax, in the case of the councils that is, they charge everyone.

They all have been doing this and none of them have stopped to realise, or more likely do not fucking care, of the pressure they are putting on the public or indeed that many other public services are doing the exact same things?! You bet your bloody life they don't.

Here in this place things should be .. easier .. except they are not. Bin men knock and hold their bloody hands out for money, I know I saw this first hand! “Yeah?” says I. “Binman” says the binman. “Ah, so you are!” I reply to that. “I need paying” he says. “What? I am from London and have never heard of bin men being paid!”. I have, however, seen them getting up to all sorts of other things.

The best part about it is that I do remember her paying him previously but now been told that this was to clean the bin out back when the weather was warmer and she does not even want it done now it has turned cold! I kid you not!

The horror stories about children being abused is also off the scale and I have heard a few stories already that rank among the worst I have ever heard. In each case there is zero involvement from the social services though I bet somewhere a child is being taken by social services unnecessarily.

I should offer my services as a private investigator while I am here?

Well .. I wanted to at least sit down today on the sofa of this new flat without any .. interruptions and write my first piece for posting. Kind of an initiation of sorts. It was dragging on getting in here and getting started and still is. I was very eager to do this despite the furore and the dreaded flu like illness I now have. After producing vivid yellow mucous and even yellow water running form my nose it started to develop into a cough and a bit of a sneeze. I have felt nauseous a few times too and even avoided driving while like that. Fortunately I have come across my cough syrups and did not even know I still had them! So that was kinda cool!

Now that I am here though I might get some early tips to things kicking off and going down so that I might get there with a camera?

I also want to concentrate on a whole raft of other photographic things in time and I, no doubt, will have lots of brand new places to choose from?!

Added to this I will have three seasons to go through with each one being more productive than the last.

I keep repeating it in my head that I simply must be productive while I am here and I must capitalise on all the new locations that are available to me.

Fingers crossed!

Hmm I wonder if there is much in the way of demand of freelance photography?

ANOTHER HEALTH FAILURE

A bizarre story had appeared in the news I should not even be surprised about.

Well maybe it's a little more extreme than what I expected to hear. Well at least this one was. There have been others and I have absolutely no doubts there will be more. A lot more.

Still it's troubling enough to get a mention.

A man seems to have become so upset and frustrated with his GP Surgery and the NHS that he built some explosive devices and posted then through the GP Surgery's letter box!

Sound like someone with a mental health problem?! Well you would be correct and a perfect example of how the NHS is deliberately provoking bad treatment of failures towards patients by their GP's.

I stated long, long ago that these failures write manifest themselves in many different ways. I stated that in the case of those suffering with metal health problems this could be extreme? Well here is one and it's pure luck no one died or effect seriously injured.

In other extremes patients die.

But then the dead don't talk or fight back.

This is just one story that has managed to get through the filters and blocks and make it onto the news.

But I wonder whether they're are just so many out there, like on the internet, that the news media decided it better report on one to make it look good?

Convenient then that it is regarding someone with a mental health issue and they dint effect question what failings there were in the NHS or the GP to provoke this.

In fact they don't seem to raise any questions at all about the NHS? Funny considering how much the NHS had featured in the news.

Feltwell man admits posting bombs through letterbox of Boughton Surgery - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-38723371

LEARNING THE ABACUS

Is there no one within the whole of the BBC, NHS or Government combined that has an ounce of common sense, knows anything at all about logistics or even have the ability to see that which stares them clean in the face?

I have waited a very long time to se4e one of my claims from about 4 or 5 years ago get proved in the mainstream news media like so many others have. That of NHS letters being intercepted b a third party before reaching the patient. I have had this happen three times due to being re-stapled the wrong way around along with things being … omitted from said letters.

Several days back I covered a front page story from the free tabloid the Metro and I have waited for more to be mentioned form that initial story, after all it was headlined 'National Health Scandal' and surely the TV News media could not avoid this one? Even if it did not avoid it, as it has done so for so many other stories, I wondered if there might be a deliberate mistake?

So after giving the story an initial mention and with many other things going on to deal with I thought I would just wait and see.

Then it happened.

What had been appearing as a feature in the mainstream media was a slightly different story regarding the NHS and namely General Practitioners and this to me made no sense This was to do with GP Surgeries and the 'opening all hours' aspect. Seem to be getting mentioned a hell of a lot and even some threats to GP Surgeries coming from Theresa May herself?

Then it came and even had a spokesperson who only seemed to be talking down a little bit this subject of third part screening of GP's and their referrals to hospital.

Oh my God, you could not have written this better if you tried!

You wondering what in the hell I am talking about?

Remember, LOGISTICS!

Well … in the BBC report there was a lady who had pain from varicose veins, was refused a referral to hospital for either to be looked at or an operation and who went private. Yeah I would love to go private too but you cannot get the drug I really want even going private!

Remember we have the BBC here along with the NHS (hospital bodies and GP bodies) and the Government including the Prime Minister Theresa May. ALL OF THE ABOVE …

Yeah … well do you recall me stating when I started this blog and many times since that it is NOT workable and will fall in on itself and that the trouble with liars and cheats is they do not work very well together?

Yeah well you see the way it works is this … people have ailments and when these ailments are ignored they do not go away. These people continue to go to their GP about the symptoms and eventually these get others developing new symptoms added to them. In other words you do not need a fucking abacus to see that these numbers grow faster and faster and faster over time.

Now as I also reported on which I did not think about until a pharmacist mentioned it to me is that he knew that the NHS were ignoring patients as the drug prescriptions had been dropping like a stone for some time. They and many other chemists have had to stop ordering in man drugs because they were going past there 'sell by dates'. He also added that these health conditions will just become more complicated and that down the line you will end up having a huge cost to correct or treat them all. Probably about the time they come up with excuses for the NHS not being affordable and having to privatise it?!

So the number of people being afflicted with pain or other serious conditions that affect them in their daily lives has been growing exponentially for a few years, right?

Except that now the government and Theresa May has been threatening the GP Surgeries with opening all hours because of a problem that the government actually caused!

Oh and if you have a health issue that may cause disability at some point, hell like your going to know as they are fucking you off over referrals remember? Yeah your fucked there too I am afraid as they have been kicking conditions off the disability list and already erased the word 'DISABILITY' from the DWP.

Now that's what I have been waiting for!

• I already knew letters were screened as of about 4 years ago
• I knew they either contained lies, omissions and even gone missing altogether, still awaiting my referral I only just remembered and forgot to mention to my GP over the hernia like popping in my right flank around my waist
• My GP pointed out the ticking time bomb several months ago
• GP longer hours being mentioned for a fair old while now
• GP referral screening appears in the news media

And WHERE EXACTLY were the reporters at the BBC, the GMC, the PHSO or the bodies that have appeared in the news to point out the fucking obvious that I have mentioned here and have been waiting for for many, MANY months?! No fucking where, that is where.

That is a lesson in simple logistics and how kicking the can down the road just like the 'borrow, borrow, borrow' that the Tories like to throw at Labour … this is no different and could arguably be far, far worse due to this being about refusing to help people with health conditions.

Now remember these people have taken OATHS!

If your not aware .. what did you think becoming a Doctor is simply about passing tests like any other degree? No and unlike my degree with medicine you have to take an oath. A Hippocratic oath. Think of solicitors and lawyers and what they have to do for their careers. It is a pledge and a promise except in both industries they have amounted to absolutely nothing for the most part for a very, very long time now.

I have had a few people speak to me that suffer from health problems and pains regarding the NHS and the DWP and do you want to know what I am told by these people on a VERY regular basis? If it is not absolute fear and terror that they are going to die by starving to death, no food, or freezing to death, no home, they are talking about how they wished they were DEAD!!

I can tell you hear and now that a very large percentage of you have no idea what in the hell that is like to listen to.

Sure a great many people will and have stated to me about ignoring them, stating that I have enough problems of my own and that they would not personally do it..

But my problem was and is that there was no one there to turn to, no one for support and no one that does anything mainly based on lying, corruption, God complexes over sudden fame or power and largely because of egos.

I have had to explain to my own family why I did what I did as a father … I got no help and more or less stabbed in the back (post coming very soon about this under 'Revelations …') because I did not want to be that guy! The only way to effect a change was to be the odd one out, to act differently to most and to help others. The best way to do this was to explain what I had learned from myself and that even by doing this people simply would not get it straight away and would take a long time. So I had to keep on doing this until they not only did get it but enough of them got it. I could not even rely on people getting it then doing what I did and pass the information around.

So the fact I have not done what I set out to do already is not down to me … it is as a matter of fact down to you.

Over the next few months blog posts related to this will be read by thousands of people but if everyone that read this then told just ten people about it it would be seen by tens of thousands of people. If they passed it on via social media it could end up being hundreds of thousands if not millions of people. I have nor never have had any control over that.

But I read people bitching and complaining about the way things are and they are not interested in actual answers, or so it seems, they just want to bitch and complain. Yeaaah … that does not actually achieve anything. The only two arguments, I can think of off the top of m head, I had not because things were not getting done but because they got cocky and thought they were the most intelligent people in the room. BOTH were Genera Practitioners.

It reminds me of people that hate dealing with front line staff and they go in and they bitch and complain about the way things are. Why? They cannot do anything about it and did not make the rules and if you do that al you are doing is making a rod for your own back. This is not Chess and you do not take out half a dozen pawns to get to the king and queen.

The kings and queens are in reality faceless (not ho you think they are) and the pawns numbers are in their millions.

So why make things difficult for yourself? It is baseless as well as senseless and you are only helping them make their jobs easier and their actions justifiable.

I see it all the time too where people make claims or point fingers and are wrong on all counts because frustration and anger makes people lose focus and become affected with tunnel vision. They so much so want to have a target for their anger that they fail to see the wood for the trees. Oh it is because of this or because of that and the most famous one is because of the Tories. Yeaaah … no!

#Facepalm

These things started a long time ago when Tony Blair was in power and all those idiots are just hired puppets and are paid as target practice for the people and you actually sit there not doing nothing because you actually think that the next time a general election comes around you will vote differently, oh yeaah right one or the other, and things will be different. When it does not, not to worry just another four or five years and you can vote again … of wait I am nearly fifty now I do not give a shit any more because I have money/its too late for me/sorted out a career/living abroad [delete where appropriate].

Luckily the way I have explained things this time around, despite stating this for several years now, you do not even need that damned abacus. Referring to it in this instance as logistics 101 would simply be overcomplicating things entirely.

Wow! This is a good start to 2017 and I have not even started my four part 'Revelations...' posts yet and by the time they have finished things are going to be somewhat … exciting for many for the rest of 2017 and then some.

Oh they will also be an eye-opener for many as I describe in detail what was going on behind the scenes, the things I did not talk about on my blogs, during 2016.

Hmm trying to think … there were four posts noted down here somewhere and mostly are shocks but with one little exciting detail I am still awaiting the final details about. It is all done bar the shouting, metaphorically speaking, it is just the actual … result that is not known. It is a … positive result but just how positive remains to be seen. Hugely positive or massively positive are the only two possibilities and even the latter has two levels!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-38372332

EDIT: Oh crap I forgot, Fibrofog,  ... did I remarked about how liars do not work well together and you would be forgiven for thinking I might need a sign that this might be about to or indeed has backfired?

Umm did I mention I had been refused Pregabalin for several years due to its expense, even though it is the third best drug now for Fibromyalgia and the top two, Sodium oxybate and Milnacipran, are not available anywhere in Europe.

Well I showed a video of some that I .... acquired. Been taking them and they have had an affect and I have been taking 100mg daily.

Only I was in my GP surgery recently and I showed them to him and asked for them and I fully expected him to say no and to lie about it ...

... except he said ... umm, YES?!

CLIMBING UP, SPIRALLING DOWN

This spinning limbo just never seems to end.

That might some like a throw away line but it is the 6^th November, 2016 today and the likelihood is that it WILL last between 2 and 6 weeks longer and started back on the 19^th July.

Though there is an argument it started long before that. The assessment date I never attended.

That might seem the reason why to some people except for two things.

If your not aware of it every single assessment is a cheat. After all why would my GP now announce out of the blue when I ask him whether or not I am fit for work any more he says it is the job of the DWP?

The other reason is that I have NEVER attended an assessment, at least not for over ten years. I think I attended one in a place called Lisson Grove around 13 years ago when the first of the pains in my feet started to affect me. Except I never realised at the time I was thirteen years away form diagnosing what this was and that it would be ME that diagnosed it. Oh and do not get any stupid ideas about that as it was later confirmed by Guy's Hospital,, if you did not already know this.

I will never forget the patronising roll of eyes and “Huh” when I answered no to not being assessed for PIP by Judge Miss Mark of the HMCTS … though I myself use the term 'Judge' loosely here as in my opinion she was a bade one on a number of levels. Not impartial for a start. DWP not having Doctors and everyone knows it coming in second and the list goes on.

I now realise that there is an absolute NEED for Judges to go through a list with a defendant as to WHAT evidence they have received from you, in are there is a mistake or they are lost in the post.

Now you might ask yourself what is it that makes me state that this is a need? Well because currently it looks like they have booked three separate court hearings with at least two different judges for the exact same thing!

So I am around the ten week mark into the debacle that is the DWP's major fuck up into trying to cheat me, along with many others, tick me, make me go away and get out of a period of time of paying me nothing. Their lows know no bounds and this has become shockingly evident since I found a list of people that have died by their hands that is over 70 people long.

Still … it takes focus away from the fact that for the last decade or two the UK population has been expanding rapidly and the numbers coming here to live has been outgrowing the expanding and they have built zero, or almost zero, in the way of social housing. Yeah … that was fucking smart!

I bet the EU never thought of that when they were telling everyone what to do?

So my rent is currently around a week late and two months back it was two weeks late! That is actually my biggest concern.

Two weeks ago I was at my Doctors and I asked for my prescriptions and got turned down for that too! Apparently I was early but I have a very difficult time keeping track of everything. I did not check my pills but knew that I had not picked up a prescription for a while and BECAUSE of my memory … well, I asked when I was there.

So what happened? I kept forgetting to put in my repeat prescription until I had ran out of Propranalol, the ery thing that keeps the anxiety attacks at bay.

Friday night and morning I had not taken a Propranalol pill as I had to go over the weekend without any so I had left one single pill in the blister pack. I figured I would go one day without one and take it Saturday, yesterday, and then I only have to go one more day without one. I was more worried about withdrawal symptoms since an episode around 11 or 12 years ago when I forgot to take Venlafaxine for two days. Yup that was how far back my anxiety attacks go and that was in no way the first. The first was many years before that. Yet another thing linked to my Fibromyalgia I was not going to find out for a very long time, this time more than 15 years until I self diagnosed Fibromyalgia Syndrome.

Over the time I have been posting and mentioned my Fibromyalgia I might have given the false impression that I have suffered with it for 13 or 14 years. No. That was when it affected my feet and I experienced what I call 'Reversed Plantar Fasciitis'. Even the painful Achilles Tendinitis pains went back before the Plantar Fasciitis pain, long before. Back then I only had to be careful coming down stairs as if they were steep I had a 50/50 chance in the snapping pain.

When I had forgotten to take the Venlafaxine I started to feel really, really ill and really, really dizzy. I hod gone out to do a job for my brother while ill, got back and laid on a sofa for twenty minutes when I suddenly realised I had not taken the pills for two days and wondered if it was down to that? I took them and within 30 minutes I felt much better.

This was the only time I was ever affected by withdrawal symptoms and it was enough to make me remain very wary of ever having them again.

So when I ran out of Propranalol I was like 'SHIT!'

A good example of my memory problem? Yeah well it got better.

I was changing to wearing a different jacket and as I did so I checked all the pockets of the one I was previously wearing. When I did I remembered there were pills in one of the inside pockets I had forgotten about, but did not remember what they were. As I felt them I thought 'oh these will be Amitriptyline and Tramadol'. Except when I pulled them out they weren't these. They were more Propranalol.

Now I know what you might think? 'Oh so you did not run out of pills when you thought you did and the GP was right?' Umm .. well in a word 'no'.

You see I ended up in Accident & Emergency at North Middlesex Hospital awhile ago now, a month maybe? When I did I had several things stated to me, one that I posted about at the time was that the DWP should NOT be coming anywhere near me with my medical records and put his head in his hands and stated “What ARE the publicc services DOING in this country?!” The other thing he sis was question WHY my Doctor had given me the Propranalol pills that he did, time released capsules. He gave me to things … one was Daizepam, which helped me get through the court hearing (hearing? Lol) and the other was 40mg Propranalol to go with the 80mg Propranalol I already had. They were intended as an addition to the ones I already had.

Now I had taken these for a few nights then must have thought I was going somewhere overnight and put them on the inside of my jacket pocket. I then totally forgot all about them.

I am really, really bad at taking pills at night!

I am not that good at taking them in the morning either and mostly only remember if I am leaving the house as this seems to spark off something in my memory probably because I have now been doing it so long.

However all this was after running out and missing a pill and Friday night and Saturday morning I felt anxiety and panic. Hmm I am now remembering that someone referred to my anxiety attacks as panic attacks. A medical professional I think but as I have also experienced 'Fibromyalgia Rubber Legs' and it specifically states this is because of the strong anxiety that Fibromyalgia can cause then I can only assume that my description was correct.

Annnd this is how it has gone … up and down, up and down for week after week and month after month.

The other thing I do not talk about much is my appetite and I reckon I have lost more than a stone in weight in the first month alone. Trousers I previously could not get on me are now hanging on my hips, lol. This always happens when I have these attacks. It is really annoying for a number of reasons. Buy, hey? At least I spend less money!

It is strange when it happens. I go right off food and the only things that are tempting in any way are things that are not good for you, mostly, and too expensive to buy regularly. Except for one thing provided you do not do it every day.

This happened yesterday when I cycled past a Kentucky Fried Chicken on my way to Sainsburys, bought a loaf of bread and crab paste and then stopped at my local, not KFC, fried chicken shop on the way home.

I can often go a whole day without eating at all. Needless to say my weight is still coming off … just slower than it was previously.

Now added to this is my back pain which just like the head MRI and EEG an x-ray by the NHS found nothing, other than Ospteopenia. But then they went out of their way...no exaggeration, to lay me down on my side in a foetal position to x-ray someone's back? Funny as when a Chiropractor did it they did it standing up, weight bearing, and found not one but two things!

Hmm .. now THAT sounds familiar? If it does to you then you must have been checking back with this blog a few years and if you have you must have come across dozens of things that sounded familiar? Including things you remember later on appearing in the news?

Yeah well I had an ultrasound on my groin that when I saw the specialist he was “...pleased to tell you the ultrasound was completely clear”. My response was “Umm, what?! My ultrasound? The ultrasound I was PRESENT at?!” to which he then sat bolt upright before I continued “there was a black lump where I am experiencing the pain and a new inguinal hernia on the opposite side!”

I am not going to go into that in depth and how I was kicked off a GP Surgery that refused point blank to listen to the recording of the specialist admitting he falsified the test results.

So my back. I had been sleeping on my sofa for many weeks, something else I end up doing when the anxiety strikes. I managed to make my way back to my bed a few weeks ago. Then I started waking up in the morning with my back pain.

After several more days I started waking up in the middle of the night with my back pain.

The night before last I started to experience back pain before even falling asleep and I grabbed my bath robe, rolled it up and placed it under my right hip as I lied on my side to ease the pain, which it did.

When the pain strikes it does not matter whether I lie on my back or sides it is still aggravated but lying on my back it can be really bad.

Yeah my friend is right … there are a lot of things on my mind I am thinking and worried about that I should not be.

Being messed about and CONSTANTLY lied to by the NHS and its Doctors, while they are paid stupidly large salaries, is what really grates on me when I think now that they want to stand behind all disabled people with a whip!

A fucking WHIP is NOT what is needed. It is GENUINE help, are you reading this Scope? Either give people the medication they need or fund cars!

I need one of two things and I would be able to work full time and I have absolutely HATED not having anything to do! Really, really hated it. It sets of my depression if I am honest and all this has kept me out of aa close relationship for so long I can now never ever have another one.

Yes, that is how bad it has affected my own life … even told that … Judge that but she did not bat an eyelid! If you cannot use that as a damned good reason I simply do not know what you can use?!

I had thought I would get out of all this myself. That was the plan all of 2015 and my vision for 2016 was very, very different from what I ended up with. Such polar opposites it was almost as if it was by design?!

In fact almost every day of this year of 2016 I have told myself it was by design.

I should have been on top of the world and look at this post alone?

I do not possess any illusions to 2017 though the law of averages and little bits of information this year do suggest 2017 will be better?

Though at the moment I am wondering whether or not at some point I simply will not be able to sleep in a normal bed ever again.

Oh but then I can always go to the Doctors about that … oh wait?