THE TRUTH ABOUT THE GILETS JAUNES

You have no idea how much trouble I have had with people in my own life and it is the same old fucking trouble I have always had.

Quite bizarre is that they see me as bad because I am the harbinger of bad news .. when really these things have been allowed to continue because they think that the heroic thing to to is to stick your head in the sand .. because of feelings.

Nooo that actually costs lives and not only have I told them this over and over and over again while they argue while refusing to look into it and then projecting their fears onto you and then blaming you .. this only gets worse. This blog is testament to me stating this for a very, very long time and I have been stating it a lot longer.

Presently there are two very real things going on .. one visual with a lot of victims now speaking out and another scientific. The second I have been busy writing a series on to do with the poles shifting, moving and decreased Sun activity. This has the potential to be so serious I wonder if it is behind the absolute crazy shite going on in the world right now?

No one understands it .. everyone is looking for an answer .. the answer is likely to sound completely crazy .. my answer is crazy but with scientific evidence to back it up.

'People demand the truth but have limits to what truths it is they actually want to know' .. yeah I said that!

So the Gilets Jaunes in France? "Oh yeah its about fuel tax" is what I heard to which I would say ..

• Nooo its not!
• How fucking long have I told you not to trust the media
• Have you NEVER heard the term 'fake news' and ..
• Well they scrapped the fuel tax rise .. and they are still protesting sooo what is it now?!

One day I might actually get an apology for the decade plus of shit I have had to contend with?

But I have messaged them .. with links to NASA and the National Geographic, who I so wanted to work for, about the second thing.

Here is a video I have now sent them about the first ..

French lady lawyer who states that is is about how the French people are treated, the disabled people . the children .. the violence .. the EU and the lies and one other thing ..

OH YEAH THEIR FARCKING FAKE NEWS!! Courtesy of TheHoundog on YouTube .. 

Most people I know have no idea there is a Yellow Vests UK or where it is occurring and when I mention it they do not even seem to care ..

But its like people on Twitter say .. no one gives a shit until it happens to them or someone they care about ..

Except .. in my case it has.

So still pro-EU? Still against Brexit?

LATE EDIT:

"Paypal and Twitter you seem to be doing everything in your power to destroy everything in our society and push us towards conflict" - TimPool 12:47 And not just me any more but I have stated this for several years. I also do not think they are oblivious Tim. Have Hollywood been oblivious to losing money but still pushing an agenda? Is Macron oblivious to country wide Gilets Juanes for 15 weeks?

So then .. intentional civil wars, #ProjectDistraction .. or both?

  

THE SUMMIT & THE SCANDAL

Ooh dear ..

It's edging closer and closer but will it break while my daughter and I still live and breath?!

There is talk in reports with both sites of The Canary and The Disability News Service of a scandal that will hit the DWP ..

Covering up the deaths of welfare claimants.

Murder is murder .. it is not reduced to even manslaughter purely because of methods or reasons and if it were anyone else in society carrying out actions when they knowingly know it can lead to death .. this is murder.

Manslaughter is when you cause a death by an action not intended or thought to cause death and normally in cases of serious neglect. Like saving money.

A good example of this is the cladding used in Grenfell Tower.

This talk of a scandal coming out, oh please God say it is so .. yeah OK I am not religious .. but I am desperate lol, at a time that has a weird coincidence to it. Because I read talk about the UK holding a disability summit here?! Say what now?!

A summit? For the disabled?

I certainly hope it is not leaders from other countries looking to save money where they ask Theresa May ..

Foreign Leader: "How did you get away with it?!"

TM: "Oh we spent years putting it into the pubic's heads that they are a drain on society, the financial crisis would end tomorrow if most of them died and there taxes would go down if this happened. Once, of course, we made everyone into amoral twats while working them into the ground"

Foreign Leader: "Just .. putting that into my .. notebook!"

So a summit and a scandal to hit the UK?

You simply cannot make this shit up!

There may come a stage where I myself have nothing to lose as well as nothing to love for and they really, really .. REALLY do not want to put me in that position.

If I lose someone I simply wont want to live any longer and I have gone through so many periods where I think I am going to lose them all that I start fantasising about what I would do when I get angry about it.

I should seek help from anarchists because they would bloody love me if it ever came to this point .. a shame I could not get help beforehand though!

Never have associated with anarchists and .. pretty sure I never met one .. or at least they never admitted it to me if I have.

I would only associate with a group if they were people that believed in true fairness to all and recognised full that which is plain to see. That it is not.

https://www.thecanary.co/uk/2018/07/20/has-the-dwp-covered-up-its-role-in-claimants-deaths-labour-the-snp-and-greens-demand-answers/

THE FOLLOW ON

Well there is a report with a figure but it does not look right to me.

After the Disability Rights UK article in the last post suggesting that people were mostly happy with disability assessments a report was published with some number. That number is 4,000 or just so you do not think there is a typo, four thousand.

I had totally forgotten bout the Work & Pensions Select Committee of which I became involved letting them know of everything that went before and everything that was, or indeed was not, going on currently. After a cut down report they asked for more and stated they wanted to publish it. The late Michael Meacher MP also wanted to use my data in January 2013 and asked for permission to do so in the House of Commons to attack Iain Duncan-Smith. How long since IDS quit his job? This started long before I was asked by Michael Meacher if he could use my story. How long has this been going on then? How many times has the dishonesty of the DWP and their hetnchmen, like Atos and Capita, been reported? But they seem to be just catching them and reporting on them being dishonest now?! Do the court involved get there moment in the spotlight? After all you have to be incompetent to miss this for so long and if you did see it should have dished out some court orders to these people?

So .. most people were happy with PIP and ESA assessments were they? Four thousand complaints just in the weeks or two months at most after the Work & Pension Select Committee asked for them? This is not taking into account that most people would not have noticed the call for people to contact them, I nearly missed it myself. Nor does it take into account that these assessments have been complained about for several years beforehand.

Also and as someone pointed out on DPAC's Facebook page .. "Did anyone ask us?!" The answer is no .. they did not. Well done, Disability Rights UK for missing out that other disability chairities were not asked to ask their members. Where was the pinned request on DPAC's Facebook page, or Black Triangle's or Disability Rights UK for that matter?! I did not see one. In fact I cannot recall how I discovered it .. might have been messaged, notified or tagged by someone on Facebook? Might have stumbed across it on a webpage myself? Might have been emailed with the link from one disability group or another? I simply cannot recall.

So .. still being fecked over or not provided service and support by all the above. Just some little mention in some little article, all of which avoided like the plague by the TV News groups, that never gets followed up. Almost as if we were intentionally being mislead by those publishing some of these articles? You do have to ask yourself this question.

Oh and .. when your a disability assessor one question you can ask and get away with is this ..

"So when did you catch Down's Syndrome?"?!

Umm .. recall me banging on about how they are not qualified to assess disabilities and how they are not even general medical professionals not even to GP standard, let alone specialists?!

Well there you go .. another point I have been proven correct on.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/you-catch-downs-syndrome-shocking-11999874?ICID=FB_mirror_main

THE BOMB THAT HAS ALREADY TICKED

Well I have been missing the odd report.

I was kind of tied up, with pubic service failures and gathering evidence trust me, for four months and busy for six months before that. I still kinda am .. or at least have things to achieve but I am pacing myself. Due to memory and health issues.

So I recently posted articles about PIP being re-reviewed, Atos being found guilty of lying and a few others.

Oddly I came across a report on Disability Rights UK's website where it states that MP's 'find' claimants are 'mainly' satisfied with PIP & ESA assessments .. but there are problems.

Out of dozens of people I know only one has not complained but he is the only one that has not been assessed in recent times and therefore .. STILL on DLA so is ruled out. That means that 100% thus far disabled people have complained.

What I hate about the article is it seems to be portrayed as it is a fact. Like there is nothing wrong with assessments, or at least very little which can be expected of anything like this ..

https://www.disabilityrightsuk.org/news/2018/february/mps-find-claimants-mainly-satisfied-pip-and-esa-assessments-there-are-problems

Anyone that has been here regularly knows I have not trusted charities in a very, very long time.

Also and on the same page there are links to two articles on the Disability News Service's website that contradict this report?!

'Data shows multiple complaints against SCORES of Atos assessors' ..

https://www.disabilitynewsservice.com/the-pip-files-data-shows-multiple-complaints-made-against-scores-of-atos-assessors/

And to add insult to injury ..

'Nearly one in three Capita assessments flawed' ..

https://www.disabilitynewsservice.com/the-pip-files-nearly-one-in-three-capita-assessments-were-flawed-reports-reveal/

Then I would like to point out a particular court appearance I experienced with a biased judge called Judge Mark of the HMCTS ..

• Explained ..
• I did not attend assessments as there were between five and forty miles away
• Later found out they had assessment centre two miles away
• I did not travel five to forty miles because everyone knows they lie and well documented and reported as such online
• Now being reported on widely and nationally so
• But three very lame and amateurish attempts to label me as a liar
• All failed, none mentioned in report all of which on here .. I think?

I have no issues posting and publishing things because I have nothing to hide and am honest about things that occur. No point in being dishonest and .. well you would soon get caught out and the HMCTS, DWP, Atos, Capita and Maximus all seem to have forgotten one simple rule followed by one fact ..

• Liars require a damned good memory
• Due to Fibromyalgia and Fibrofog my memory is shite

Need anyone say any more?

Maybe, why so long when I have pointed out the facts for several years?

THE SOUNDS OF CRACKING

A second case of perfect timing in less than a week.

One was someone that should now better with me that could not understand how you can attend a hospital appointment and they are not quite sure why you are there.

Listed as inadequate and this is in a flurry of Doctor and hospital visits I have never witnessed the likes of on just a couple of weeks. I have know many people who have died and some of those died of cancer and I have never .. EVER seen medical staff move like this!

The latest was a woman on DPAC's Facebook page that did not really see a problem with any of the public services I am involve with and suggested the problem was me. Lol. Obviously does not read the tabloids or watch the news. Because there has never been anything wrong with the public services anywhere .. EVER?! Oh, wait? No it is anywhere from every other week to every other day.

Not to mention the fact that recently that there as the revelation that lung cancer screenings had been fecked up and now the NHS has contacted all trusts about it.

Like I aid to y daughter .. no mention of how long these mistakes were filed away and then there is the question of how much damage has been done in the interim?

Then early this morning I spotted another news issue and this time involving disabled people, though whether this is a section or not I do not know, and the resigning of Theresa May's Social Mobility Commission. No less than four of them, would you believe?

It seems nobody wants to end up with these horrible labels they will then have trouble removing and it is interesting that it is moving up the ranks.

They cite the lack of progress towards a fairer Britain as the reasons.

Funny because as far as I can tell it has been heading in the opposite direction for more than ten years.

It is also funny because it has gotten to this .. bizarre stage and yet the mainstream news media has not remarked on any of the stories, well 90% of the time, since this started. In my personal experience this started long, long ago. Well before I moved to Enfield which was in June 2007 and therefore way before the financial crisis started.

In fact when I look back at the start and despite the sheer shock and unison of 'o's and 'no's coming from the House of Commons when the financial crisis was announced, it was almost like they knew.

They started to attack the helth conditions that not only included people unable to fight back but had likely no one who would understand what they were saying and even support them in fighting back.

Patients with mental health problems.

I feel pretty sure that is where it started and because it was the easiest target for them to go at without repercussions. Legal Aid had also been slowly dismantled years before too so even less of a chance of any comebacks.

Once this was achieved, one Psychiatrist I had spoken to only realised late on they were attacking those with mental health issues, they could then move onto the next group.

The clever plan here is that they might move onto a number of groups before they were rumbled and that even when they did people would point the fingers in all the wrong places. At the time this was the private company appointed as assessors, Atos Healthcare. Now only known as Atos.

I knew the truth but many disability group members did not. They thought that by getting rid of Atos or making the DWP and government aware of what Atos was doing would have them gotten rid off and that very literally over-night. I knew this was all wrong too.

Among those to resign are former cabinet ministers of both the Conservatives and Labour!

I wonder if others might follow?

Well look, for the love of God, at the number of governing bodies, watchdogs, ombudsman and chairites in each and every case. They have done nothing and with little or feeble excuses in each case. These number into the, very literally, many dozens. Even the health service alone has four or five bodies, maybe more? PHSO, PALS, NICE, GMC, CQC and possibly others? There is five and I have been wrapped up to no avail with the first four of those five.

Hear that, dumb-arse woman? I have been involved with four out of five health service watchdogs and they have done nothing. Not even asked for the evidence I claimed that I had.

Yeah .. I have my ways when I am pretty sure I am dealing with an organisation that is basically a con, payig themselves salaries of either the taxpayers money, winds me up the most, or from public donations, winds me up almost as much.

Hmm come to think of it I wonder how many of those donations are made as a tax dodge anyway?

The DWP have at least one, ICE or the Independent Case Examiners but if you are dealing with them, plan to deal with them I strongly urge you to check their email addresses. They run through the DWP's mail servers .. or through their buildings, in other words. Not really something you could truly call 'independent' now, is it? I do not know if there are others. CAB are absolute crap with the DWP .. unless your unable to speak English.

The Local Councils have the LGO. Or Local Government Ombudsman and I am fairly sure there is at least one other body. Oh of course .. Ofsted .. where children are involved. They have listed this council as inadequate sooo where are the others and where is the LGO?

Well all know about the Police and the Independent Police Complaints Commission. Yup a big nada and bullshit from them too!

Scope?

Disability Rights UK?

Age UK?

The list goes on.

Then there is the private side to from advertising to energy and on to communications. And even bailiffs. I have had reasons to contact the watchdogs and ombudsman for each of these not to mention many more besides. ZIP!

So will these four resignations within that one commission be followed by more? Will those on the verge of having enough, moral ones that is, then follow suit? Will this be followed by the amoral ones that get too scared that they will be exposed as amoral and before doing so quit to keep up the charade, and assure themselves their next career, all start walking out too?

One can only hope and only time will tell.

Notice how no one within the either the reporting or the discussions about the EU divorce bill has mentioned anything about disability rights? They have not even spoken about human rights, well not about their native people and as I already stated .. nothing on disabled people or even children, for that matter?

It is simply disgusting and the one and only thing that keeps me going, other than four children and a daughter who is constantly feeling ill and/or in pain, is that other people with a high standard of morals and are not naïve or beavering away on their on plans to do something about the injustices with absolutely everyone.

Being secretive towards your own people simply does not pay and in the long run is doomed to failure. Because they never stop at the obviously lies, like things involving the secret services which could be questionable anyway, they start thinking they can lie about the next thing and the next thing and then the thing after that.

Before you know it they are lying half of the time and everyone knows it but somehow accepts it for just the way things are.

They think it is not directly affectig them yet and they still have their jobs soo .. what is the point and as one naïve woman put it to me “It wont ever change” and “You cant change anything!” leading me to ask why in the fuck she bothered even going on the site where people are trying to help each other out? Yeah .. every insists on thinking like that then yes it wont ever change.

It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I do not like people giving the wrong advice, or that people are naïve and walk around with blinkers on and .. I certainly do not like self-fulfilling prophecies!

So I thought for a couple of years about either creating a website .. the company used was not very good in their design, or a blog. There was also the possibility of a YouTube channel. So I started a blog .. then another blog .. then another blog and I ended up with twelve. I had already technically had a YouTube channel I only ever uploaded the odd video to. So I started to get more filming when and where I could and start slowly adding to that.

I am not an idiot. I did not think I as going to change things over-night.

Though there was the possibility that when the government and its bodes inevitably discovered what I was doing they might change things? They might have done in small ways?

What I was aware of was that to change things in the UK alone I needed as many people being aare of my blog and my recorded data and documents that I could. This would mean that it would at least have to being the millions.

Even with the viewers being in the single figures when it comes to millions there would inevitable me more aware of me because .. well people .. talk. Surely you know that Surely THEY know that?

Whether these millions had to be in a single blog or across everything I was not sure.

I did think that with some of my exposing early on that I might reach a million in a year or two? But this has turned out not to be the case, unless someone is messing with the figures being reported to me?

But I do not nor can not think about these possibilities of someone messing with me because .. I jut have to keep going .. somehow.

My other blog have taken a hit of late through doing the things others seem to be shirking their responsibilities over.

But I am seeing the signs, finally, that this is getting harder and harder for them and with Iain Duncan-Smith resigning that was a first as well as a surprise.

So .. is a barrage of label dodging about to take place?

I have already witnessed a backlash against governing bodies and charities on Facebook and I have been predicting that one for a very, very long time. Before I even started blogging 5.5 years ago and more likely around 13 to 15 years ago.

Oh and my daughter bumped into some people down in the town centre here, told them about her own story and then about me .. seems they want to talk to us. I was given a newspaper and thought .. 'ooh this seems strangely familiar' only to have it confirmed when I looked at their website address that they were a far left group. Well I am assuming .. far-left.

Remember what I said about the history of revolutions? Well take a look at their website address …

www.revolutionarycommunist.org

Even the Financial Time has reported on these Social Mobility Commission resignations but then .. they are bean counters that failed to see the missing beans and .. this involves politics and Theresa May directly and sooo .. means uncertainty and so mean money .. so yeah, once thought about not that surprising, lol ..

Financial Times ..

https://www.ft.com/content/e4426dce-d808-11e7-a039-c64b1c09b482

Sky News ..

https://news.sky.com/story/blow-for-pm-as-social-mobility-tsar-alan-milburn-quits-over-unfair-britain-11154336

Theresa May's entire social mobility commission have quit because 'she's too busy with Brexit to help the poor' ..

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/theresa-may-social-mobility-quit-11630715?service=responsive

INTO THE DARK AGES

Well here it is in a news report.

I've been hearing this for many, many months and possibly even over a year? A bit hard to recall with my short term memory issues.

Muscular Dystrophy UK, or something, is reported by the Independent to be stating that 900 cars, yes that's nine hundred, are being taken away from disabled people every week.

I really am at a complete loss to how there had not been not one but several major things occur over this previously. Like large scale protests and reported on the TV News repeatedly?

But I guess the government figured tens of thousands of disabled people are not able to get to our even able to perform a protest.

No question mark at the end of that last sentence because it's the only realistic answer as to why the government did this.

It's because of this attitude towards the sick and disabled that I have my one and only concern regarding leaving Europe. But then being in Europe didn't do any favours to us. But at least now we can point fingers at people and label them as evil as in the EU they can pass the buck to people that were never elected.

I mean this is like they are borderline taking away the human rights of disabled people, if they have not done so already...

So what chance do you have if you ever fall on hard times or find yourself out of a job?

Considering a think tank was recently reported by Russia Today to state that the UK is sleep walking into another financial crisis that will be worse than the first one ... 

... and they are the ones that led us into this as they are supposed to be governing at the end of the day ... but they want to make the public pay for their mistakes while still paying them substantial salaries.

As I also stated when David Cameron talked about changing the welfare system to be fairer and bringing in Personal Independent Payments to replace Disability Living Allowance. I said that it was a good idea and was all for it Provided that is what he intended and was not lying. Except when I read about the 'Personal Independent Payments' name I started to get worried that it was all a lie to take away the responsibility for disabled people.

If you are going to slowly remove responsibilities for everything, which the Conservative Party has in both its tenures with Margaret Thatcher and then David Cameron and now Theresa May ... then why are we giving you money?

There will come a point when our taxes will be doing nothing more than paying their wages to just talk shit and funding weapons and the armed forces. The latter of which many do not agree with any more and over time more and more people do not see the need for them. Other than to stick our noses in where we should stay out. The absolute piss-take of this is that they do this claiming to be helping the people of said country when they do not even help the people that cannot take care of themselves right here in the UK.

Except there were all those people that felt sorry for David Cameron when he did that speach to announce he was quitting.

I find it quite bizarre that people can have sad feelings for others that themselves have no sympathy for anyone else at all.

Food for thought, old chap?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/benefit-cuts-disability-welfare-pip-adapted-vehicles-a7678926.html

THE SERIES OF SHOCK WAVES

I currently am seriously lacking in both energy and motivation.

Oh and it seems I still cannot type worth a damn.

I have noticed that since I have been stuck indoors weekends I have also been forgetting my pills too and think that there must be a link here?

I have had a series of shocks this week both good, well one, and bad, in this case many, and yet have failed to put together a single post for my blogs over the weekend.

After initially acquiring a solicitor for the very first time ever, since 1994, I would have thought I would have been more positive and have more energy. I have needed milk and this was obvious from yesterday, forgetting to get it on Friday, and not been able to get out to the local shop in two days.

What surprises me is that normally when I discover something shocking I am normally typing out a post almost immediately or the first chance that I get. In the last few days I have had two that re in the forefront of my mind and have to write a post about either of them.

These are …

• The treatment of Peter Duut and
• A little known fact that close to 10,000 died in a few years after their ESA being affected in 2011

Pete Duut was a Dutch man married to an English lady who worked in the UK for years as a Carpenter, I think it was, who was then refused help by the DWP after some 12 years of working.

You can read more about this man and his wife here and I heard this directly from Laurel Duut who I met via DPAC's Facebook page.

It was sickening to read about how the DWP first tried to wriggle out of supporting them and then deducted money that came in from the Netherlands from the Dutch National Survivor Benefits Act.

If this does not sound bad enough Mr Duut also became ill throughout all this which was from an undiagnosed cancer that he died from, seven months after being refused help from the DWP!

This was just a few days ago and then yesterday I was watching a video someone, Victoria, made of themselves in Richmond Park who had just attended some talk about treatment of disabled people, with a Tory MP, who explained she was puttinng her affiliation, of what capacity and who I cannot recall, with a Disabled Charity and job at risk by stating the whole thing was a farce and that the Tory MP left half way through because he wanted to get to some protest about a runway at Heathrow. Yeah … THAT runway!

I remarked about how this serious event on how the disability were treated would NOT get on the mainstream news, that Tory MP's actions seem to suggest he KNEW this, and that the runway would and that was why he cut and run.

It also highlights in a very major and shocking way one of the long list of things wrong with the mainstream media. I remarked on DPAC about how the TV News lovers to talk gossip, celeb shows, celeb news and reality TVV shows when there are serious abuses of human rights that have not just led to deaths, not dozens or even hundreds but thousands of deaths.

In fact that figure of NEARLY 10,000 deaths is from a report by the DWP THEMSELVES in 2014 and I can guarantee the number of deaths has risen in frequency since that report. The government's Damien Green says it has not but disability groups say that it has.

Well if you killed 10,000 people that were on ESA alone and not even dive into PIPs or pensioners then you must be hitting way above your target My Green? Either that or you and your predecessors have been doing things VERY incompetently?

Funny that I mention a Dutch benefit is it not?

Funny that a country much smaller than the UK manages to pay one of its citizens not even residing in the Netherlands any longer?

Funny how other European countries manage to have welfare states and I not recall hearing frrom anyone else that theirs is being eroded and that people are dying? Or, come to think of it, that their disabled are being punished?

Anyone would think that we in the UK are NOT doing as well as you like to make out to the ret of the world? A UK government being misleading? Well, I never?!

I also informed them how someone I know thought that the UK's problems would disappear if a large part of the welfare state did. Well they actually put this in a far more shocking statement that involved two sets of the most vulnerable in society dying. Yup, dying.

In an almost knee-jerk response to this someone posted up some figures that I for one never stopped to consider before. The fractioning up of the welfare system in relation to the size of the group it serves.

In fact I have a copy and past of what was posted on DPAC's Facebook page … posted by Samantha ..

State Old Age Pension - 36%

Other pensioner benefits - 6%

OK, that accounts for 42% of welfare spending.

Child tax credit - 10%

Child benefit - 6%

Working tax credit - 4%

Housing benefit - 11%

Income support - 4%

Council tax benefit - 3%

Disability Living Allowance – 8%

All of these benefits are payable to people who are in work. So that's another 46% accounted for.

So what of the remaining 12% of the welfare budget?

Well, 2% goes on carers allowance (ie people who work hard caring for relatives and thus saving the NHS a significant amount of money) and 4% goes on employment support allowance (payable to people that even ATOS declare unfit for work)

Other welfare payments – 3%

Job seekers allowance – 3%

So the "work-shy" get no more than 6% of the welfare bill (incidentally, most of this 6% would love to have a job but are unable to get one).

Nearly half of the welfare state payout is to do with pensioners.

Hmm and those that everyone likes to list as lazy only make up 3% of this number, though I have only ust noticed there is no Universal Credit listed which leads me to believe these figures were pre-introduction of said benefit?

Whether these are right or wrong it matters not and only shows that not all, or even anywhere near half of, the welfare state goes towards unemployed people most of which would want a job.

Would this then not beg the question how in the world they think they are going to pay off that humongous debt they ran up with … this?

Like I said previously and will say it again … learn to math y'all!

You could take every pensioner and benefit claimant out the back and shoot them, my God in my situation I would rather take this as the MORE humane option, and you will wont pay off the debt in ten years!

They did what we normally get scorned for doing and taken to court for doing … borrowed far more money than they could ever pay back if the money ran short.

Hang on? But … we were given these loans by banks that should not have given them to us because we would be unable to pay them back and get taken to court for it?

But THEY do it and what do they do? They start at the bottom of the pile and start taking money from us and when they find it hard we find ourselves in court over it …

Does that not sound like they want everyone else to pay for their mistakes? Tell me … as the future unfolds and as mankind is supposed to progress and evolve … are they going to KEEP doing this?

OK then tell me this … do away with the welfare state and shoot everyone on benefits and when that does not work for those of you that love throwing stones while living in glass houses … who do you think they should turn to next to wring money out of?

One of the last shocks was something being posted about that I myself have talked about for many years … no not the cost of repairing Buckingham Palace, though that DID get mentioned too. No it was the charity fundraiser Children In Need and someone questioned the money and the celebs involved!

I simply could not believe this so I chimed in with y age old, on my posts anyway of the following …

• How is it that every year the donations breaks its own previous records even in a recession
• Why do Celebs with enough money to run a third world country for a year give up a day of theirs for free to guilt trip everyone else into giving money and everyone is supposed to worship them for it
• Add up all the money made over the last 15 to 20 years and it is … a lot! There should be a series of bloody fortified castles scattered around the UK that kids can live in and feel protected

If your a bit confused by that second one I suggest you look at all the shocked American celebrities who all appeared on TV in favour of Hillary Clinton as US president and having meltdowns because half the nation did not agree with them which therefore must mean no one loves them?!

Yeah I mentioned that which got a few people commenting.

I am totally amazed that others re seeing this, though I have waited over a decade to see this mentioned in a public place. Friends did not see it at first but some years back they started to realise the hypocrisy of it all.

So it has been a series of shocks.

First a good one that … really does not feel like a good one. Maybe I am just so used to failing that I simply cannot believe it until it happens?

Also there is the uncertainty regarding the 3 to 6 month period until said legal representation produces a result and that is if there is any result at all. In that tie I have to continually jump through hoops and I am not sure if there is any recourse to my health causing an issue.

My health problem already did, though I was surprised it managed to go 6 weeks before a screw up, when I arrived an hour late for a meeting I was so sure I was on time for! I even sat in the local park smoking for an hour and went for something to eat. I then had to sit for like an hour so I did not force anyone else to wait, which was only fair.

Remember to support those that are protesting against Heathrow's third runway, or is it fourth? That is because being annoyed by noise and having to move is so much more important than starving to death, stress, anxiety attacks and suicide.

Peace, out!

DAZED AND CONFUSED BY THE DEVIL'S SPAWN

So then?

I am feeling quite … odd.

It is like one of my limbos … except this one actually feels more like a limbo than any of the others and I feel somewhat … lost.

I have had everyone bar one that normally does contact me over this and a mate is messaging me right now and I told him I have no clue what is going to happen now.

I just feel dazed.

I am also confused.

I simply do not know what to do now. I have some options open to me … but not much in the way of options and I think I will have to speak to a couple of people I have recently been speaking to, to ask them.

One of them will probably prevent me ever going to court again but in all honesty and as I said to a friend .. there is never a chance that I would use HM Court & Tribunal Service ever again, not after that. I have been told by a few to appeal and I told them that, that was the appeal one friend said it cannot be it is too soon. I assured her that it was and I said “Y'know I thought the date was very quick and thought it would likely be somewhere between November and January”

After all the Citizen's Advice stated it was far too soon for them to send a representative with me, after initially telling me that they would send one. This is why I complained to Citizen's Advice about their handling of this.

The failure of sending someone as they said that they would was bad enough but they left my dangling on something that set off my anxiety attacks once again which led to my legs not working for an hour, told me they would likely give in or I would win the tribunal which were both wrong.

Also the more I think about the tribunal the more I realise she failed to ask about or mention in passing, proving she simply was not interested.

I absolutely guarantee she is if the brigade that believes the government is right to screw over disabled people to save money. I have absolutely no doubts that if asked privately she would agree with what the Tories, George Osborne and Iain Duncan-Smith was doing. No doubts. You know when sometimes you meet someone and you just get these bloody big signals from them?

This was all about the money too … not the health conditions and I am pretty sure I did not even utter the word 'Fibromyalgia' and I am pretty sure she didn't either.

Not only was I trying to explain my various symptoms to someone that simply did not understand them or the condition she clearly was not interested.

I simply took the whole hearing as an attempt to call me out as a liar on everything.

So according to her, that … judges logic, I insisted on experiencing a group of symptoms for 13 years, though other symptoms were connected and went back far longer, … yes waited 13 whole years before I then decided to turn around and say it was Fibromyalgia.

I waited 13 years before declaring what it was.

Oh and do not forget I managed to fool and manipulate an entire GP Surgery, get sent to Guy's Hospital and then fool a Fibromyalgia specialist called Dr Kirkham who was based in their Rheumatology Department.

Yeeeah … if I could do all that I would have been a millionaire well over a decade ago … the fucking morons!

I mean … really?! That is the best you can come up with … really?! Jesus H Christ this country really haas and is still going to the pits.

I have just had my landlords, plural, here and they were both astounded as I told them what happened at the court. The … lady of the two told me that I should appeal and that this was terrible treatment. They said I should try and fight it. But what with?

I feel very much burnt out right now.

My tank is empty.

Though I did achieve something I had wanted to for a very long time.

Just that I lost my first case and the situation is … well diabolical to put it mildly.

My word … it is going to take me days to figure out what I have to do or will end up doing and that is if I can think of anything at all.

Not waking up tomorrow would be kind of … nice and .. final.

Except I would have to make some arrangements as I have a … very big collection of stuff I would need to … well think of it as passing on the baton. Not really into athletics but I do not what a baton is. Probably spelled it wrong though? Lol.

I swear to God if I was a religious man I would have sworn to God that I had just had a meeting with the spawn of the devil himself.

The funny thing is that many of the support group for Fibromyalgia I was at looked a damn site fitter than me and none carried a walking stick around with them, though this might have changed over the last year. They are under the impression that Fibromyalgia is a bona fide disability and I hope to God if they ever get their money stopped and attend a court hearing that they do not get the … person that I got.

I could have raised my left sleeve and showed her the many scars and slashes on my upper left arm but I literally looked at her and though “you simply would not give a flying fuck!” and so I did not.

Any time I did try and explain something there was this turn of the head that showed disinterest and whether she had decided I was a liar, for whatever reason or agenda, before I entered the room or not she was certainly giving me every signal that she thought I was.

It was plainly obvious to both see and hear that she was not going to listen nor accept everything and spoke to me in a way that has not been done since I was in nursery school or primary school.

If I was to say it was both patronising and condescending it would be a gross understatement. How she could be a judge of anything at all is beyond me. Maybe she spent all her life handling purely financial cases or something? Or just spawned in hell like I stated earlier?

If I am ever forced, and I would have to be forced, to ever attend a HM Court & Tribunal Service … umm tribunal again I am taking crucifies and holy water.

I feel so burnt out and spent right now. I could really become an alcoholic, really I could. At least it would numb the pain better than any of the wrong crap the NHS gives me!

A STATEMENT QUOTED

I thought I remembered Theresa May saying something about changing things.

Will it seems she had been quoted, or someone remembered what she said and repeated it?

Had this link below end up in my Facebook notifications. Theresa May is quoted starting there will be no more welfare cuts?

The question mark is quite deliberate. Does she mean that she will stop ruining the lives of those afflicted with disabilities?

Or does she mean it won't get any worse than it is right now? In other words it will stay exactly the same.

Some reporters really need a lesson in the English language as a statement that there will be no more cuts is preposterous...

... Because you simply cannot cut it deeper than you already have.

It's only a matter of time before some foreign media pick up the story of how they have stealthily attacked disabled people and that the mainstream news media have somehow avoided it all.

Pretty impressive missing this story as it started when Tony Blair was in power seven years or more ago.

That was when I not only first noticed it but soon after discovered from other disabled people the attacks were coming in waves.

Those with mental health issues were the first to have everything taken away. At the time I even met mental health professionals who has no clue it was going on but soon realised. One stated she checked all patients under her clinic and found all had, had their money cut.

This was around 60% of their weekly money gone and it didn't stop there.

Even at the 60% they first cut I'd like to see evidence from George Osborne of the same percentages from the wealthy, banks and all others responsible for the shit we are in?

I'd ask him quite directly and sternly but you can bet I won't get a single example.

Then I'd give the twat something else directly he would fully deserve!

Deserved for the absolute cold hearted attitude and callous nature he has shown towards human life and suffering.

I'm a strong believer in telling people what they are and to the point of getting a reaction of guilt from them. If not then they should be shown in another way that will make them take notice.

I believe messages should be given and if all else fails then you do things in a more dramatic matter. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again ... until they do get the message.

In my opinion he should go to prison and it will remain one of the biggest injustices remembered by history books of the future.

Then they are running around preaching to the world media and other countries about human rights? 

They should be bloody shot! Metaphorically speaking, lol.

http://www.welfareweekly.com/no-more-welfare-cuts-to-come-under-theresa-may-says-minister/

LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND ALMOST EVERYTHING

Yeesh. Why can boredom be so bad as to almost be painful?

My sister was telling me very recently how bored she has been on her eternity leave and said it must be really bad for me and how do I do it? The simple answer is I don't, ,not really. I do have periods when I do cope with it. Unfortunately that is slave to one thing I have no control over … the weather!

There are other factors to that come into play … outside influences, organisations suddenly deciding you have to jump through hoops. Your health which can be only very seldom or very frequent. The weather can be more or less frequent if you are particularly sensitive to it, as I am.

A mental health specialist was surprised to learn of my many interests, skills and knowledge while at the same time surprised at my lack of direction and boredom. Especially as I also have blogs that I work on in many of my subjects. But I also explained how they get neglected.

To many it might have seemed like a my musings were that of a deranged conspiracy theorist, except that it was never that far fetched and I planned to acquire the evidence and executed those plans. They never really stopped.

While I am typing this out I am also trying to listen to documentaries on sub-atomic particles, just finished listening to a speech by Miko Kaku.

Theoretical Physicists are always explaining what they do know about sub-atomic particles, what they are trying to prove, via the Super Collider and Large Hadron Collider, about sub-atomic particles and, more importantly, what they do not know about sub-atomic particles.

We have all heard about the Higgs Boson, or God Particle, but there are still things we know little about and things that are only theory, like Gravitons and Sterile Neutrinos to name but two.

I remember being pleased with the announcement of M-Theory to make String Theory … well kind work and I remember thinking of the 'M' stood for Membrane. I think the scientist that came up with it did not divulge the meaning of the 'M' until much later and when he did he said it stood for Magic.

I very much look forward to the creations of greater test apparatus for extra solar planets, gravitational waves and more surprises from sub-atomic particles and how they all work. If I manage to live that long of which there are a couple of question marks over?

Back down to Earth, quite literally, I have to somehow fend off a triple assault on my life that has sent some of my symptoms into overdrive.

Back to wondering why my brain, or body, tortures itself so much and so uncontrollably over things that it should not. Things happening which I should take in my stride but instead have uncontrollable breakdowns over. That is one question that is made up of three different questions.

I have complete morons to deal with that think themselves so clever when the reality could not be further from the truth. You can explain this to them of words of minimal syllables but they are still unable to comprehend. The mind boggles.

Then there is the other question and that is … just what exactly is going on in my own brain that has been boggling my mind for many years?

I may well be about to find out, unless these morons I speak of think its perfectly OK for the public to be lied to and cheating to go on because they believe there is a greater cause that only involves money. More so than human life or suffering … provided they can get away with it or that they think when the public find out they are too selfish for any reactions to take place that allows them to just carry on regardless?

However some things cannot be buried away and lied about. This is because there is an ultimate conclusion that cannot be avoided and that, of course, is death. They simply cannot lie and say there is nothing wrong when they know you will die from what it is they have lied about. Unfortunately for me, though it does not quite feel that unfortunate you might think bizarrely so, death may be the result and those results are … on their way.

After this weekend of the 17^th and 18^th of September will be the period of a week or two when you think you might get that phone-call as that is when the results would have been received. Unless, of course,, it happens sooner.

Many like to play down these possibilities while forgetting that they are in fact possibilities and the signs I have had and what I had read seem to suggest they are much more likely than usual. The times that things are done and the speed that the NHS moves is fixed. Those are the facts and they have even stated them, rather stupidly, on letters and on notices on their own waiting room walls. I did not put these there, the NHS did. I can only go by what I read and the fact is that the NHS takes forever to move a single muscle. This is also not the case this time around and so a third reason that makes me pause for thought.

But things will be what they will be … you cannot cheat fate.

Personally and if I am given a period of time I will spend it enjoying myself kicking the big three public services in the nether regions so hard and for so long they will be feeling me into the next century and beyond.

I can also tell those that think they know everything while being experts in very few subjects, if any at all, “I fucking told you!”

These things do not need a cancerous tumour to take place as I am sure that some cysts can in time become dangerous, if not quite as dangerous as cancerous cells building up in your head? A tumour and a cyst are … lumps, for want of a better term, and pressure in the cranial area is pressure in the cranial area and not good at the end of the day.

The Arachnoid Tumour has popped up as another possibility and maybe there are others I have not been able to come across and research? What I am looking for is something that matches 5 or 6 symptoms and maybe an extra one?

I could just as well be looking for two things to match these symptoms?

Forehead irritation, eye socket irritation, ears and nasal problem, blackouts, seizures and in the case of a brain tumour … stomach pain, though quite how that last one works is a complete mystery to me.

Not only am I expecting the head MRI to answer at least three or four questions … possibly one to all of them, but also the EEG scan should show something is up. Because I jerked three or four times from pain, which is not exactly what it was looking for I do not think, but it is something I get and happened while having all the electrodes on my head. Pain signal goes to brain, brainwaves are being monitored while it happens and so boom! A reading. Might not be linked to the seizures but I received strong pain signals while seated doing nothing so should be noted by health professionals?

So like when I was told there was nothing on my ultrasound test of my groin I will know they will be lying. There was not one but two things on the ultrasound test of the groin and they lied about both of them and then admitted it … while being recorded by me. Thems are the breaks with me I am afraid.

If I can speak to the Neurophysiologist about the Large Hadron Collider, sub-atomic particles, how Graphene works and other areas of science it is not a stretch to imagine that I first cannot be fooled and secondly prepared for it just in case I am?

I have always been prepared for it just in case I am. In fact I had to kind of 'wait it out' so to speak to see if they would ever attempt it again. It is all in the planning and the details.

I just did not know that my bloody anxiety would come back to dog me just when I was about to blow onto the scene again with both old and new … umm, material.

Part of me thinks that this will all really e the test of all tests of the system and the attitude towards human life and human suffering.

After all I am being attacked from all of the only three sides that are available … outside of legal action against my blogs that is. I have pains in my heels, arches, ankles, hips and back and added to this a seriously screwed up short term memory and skin conditions. A few … accidents that have the chance of occurring as well as embarrassing ones I have to deal with. Added to all this are the blackouts, seizures and difficulties with heat and humidity that has me sweating buckets and also another embarrassing thing.

Let us be honest here for a moment and for arguments sake sate I was able to do a job of some kind … who in the world would bloody employ me?! Anyone that would, would be one hell of a brave person! Just the memory problems alone would be a big no-no.

I left my house forgetting to take my medication on Saturday morning. I got ten minutes away when I realised I had left a lit cigarette on the side that was a real fire hazard. I had no choice but to go home, then could not find my keys only to discover them hanging out of the damned lock! This memory issues occurs several times daily … not now and then but daily.

Just that alone would put off almost all employers, quite unfortunate but very true.

Factor in all the pains and other things and then the fact that my condition means that I do not sleep like normal people. Even the physiologist that performed the EEG on me knew the importance of restorative sleep and was fascinated when I explained how Fibromyalgia sufferers never get it and even more so when I explained we are not even allowed the only prescription drug that can deal with this problem.

Except there is a much of morons that seem to be able, and like, to tell you what you can and cannot do?! They also do not like being directly called idiots or you inferring that they are idiots. Well sorry but if you open your gate and say something your not sure about but with conviction because that is your job … then your an idiot.

Whenever I am watching any documentaries to do with particle physics and the evolution of the universe it always results in my brain putting something into contrast.

Today it is that we have habits. Habits that some naïve people and morons alike think we can just switch on and off. I have always wondered why we cannot switch them on and off so I get annoyed with those that think that we can.

For instance I have picked back up what was a very old habit and that is smoking. I cannot quite get my headd around the fact that I have become so reliant on this habit yet again. I know the cause of the reuptake but it still baffles me as to why it is. It is more or less a nervous habit. Yet it does not really do a great deal for nerves, depression or anxiety and yet still we can end up feeling like we would not be able to cope without it. I am sure this is true for many for many other drugs and therein lies our biggest problem.

For years and years TV, the news media and the medical profession has harped on and on about how unhealthy these drugs are and done there best to get people to kick their various habits.

All those years and all that money and yet they have never decided to tackle the root cause of the problem and in fact quite the opposite.

Life has been filled with complications with more and more things to do, more and more things available to us and more and more in the way of bills, taxes and responsibilities. It became apparent a long time ago that this became too much for people and as this number of things to keep track of increased to the problem of bad habit forming has grown. You can also add much to do with crime into this equation too. Yes, not all addictions are down to this and nor all crime but a very large percentage of each will be.

But and as I have stated in the past we have continued to do things in old fashioned ways and allowed more and more things to pile up onto those we already have to deal with.

When your financial situation has certain … constraints then pressure starts to build up and I know this to be true and it has become more and more apparent as the years have gone by.

This is primarily because of my ever more failing memory. But there came a time when I realised that even without memory issues all of this would put pressure on anyone.

Morons that do not realise that companies and public services are not very good at things and do not ggive a crap that they are not very good at things often make mistakes. But companies, public services and morons all say “Ooh put it all on direct debit, then you do not have to worry about it!” which is good if you have a large amount of disposable income. But a large percentage do not or at some point find that their disposable income has evaporated. Maybe they were fortunate enough to see this coming and maybe they were not? The end result is the same though as you still have to end up juggling and you have to remember everything.

We simply cannot take too much on board and we are not very good at multi-tasking, at least beyond a point that is. You have all the trials and tribulations that comes with your career or job and if your in one, those of a relationship as well and maybe even children?

But you still have all this exxcess stuff to keep track of and on top of.

In recent years and with the Internet and crafty video games console companies and social media among many other things the amount of things your bombarded with from the Internet can swamp you to the point that you feel like your drowning.

It is funny how all these large companies just think that everyone has large amounts of money lying around doing nothing that they can dip into at their hearts desire? Anyone owning a Sony Playstation has found themselves having to pay a monthly fee as have those owning Microsoft's Xbox One.

The one thing that you can be certain is that the number of these companies wanting a monthly fee and the number of taxes the government want money for will both increase in amounts and in number.

Of course while your doing all that and juggling everything your told how bad you are and how we are all going to run out of food in a decade or two?! Wait … why keep telling us this? Because they do not want to have to deal with it and we have to take responsibility of all this too?

I sometimes ask myself what exactly it is that governments actually do that actually benefits the societies that voted them in? They look after each other, owners of big businesses and believe their bollocks and do very little for anyone else that means anything.

Just as I predicted on here David Cameron and George Osborne not only made no difference to the national debt but actually managed to make things far, far worse. They went just as I thought they would, though later than I thought, and still things actually seem worse right now than they did when they were in power.

I also stated two things and one is that the destruction was done long before them with Tony Blair over many years and that you would simply get someone else who thinks themselves way smarter than the last one and prove this not to be the case. Mainly because many have realised that Tony Blair screwed things up, as well as commit a few sins along the way, and everyone is a lot smarter than they were.

That does not mean to say they are smart enough and that still remains to be seen.

Now we have Theresa May and whatever cronies she has surrounded herself with … oh I do hope I am wrong about that.

One day I would like to see a change come about to truly make things fairer along with an apology to all disabled people in the UK about how they were treated and tricked.

Ever since Tony Blair was in power the government were creeping up behind disabled people with a large club to bang you over the head with while you were not looking.

I know that in the beginning Doctors and Specialists were not aware of this actually happening and I know this to be true because I have conversations with several of them. One even stated she suspected something was going on and had to do her homework before realising that it was.

Then the reports started to come in from far and wide that Doctors, Specialists and Nurses were being asked to lie about patients. This was so that the NHS saved money and the DWP saved money and indeed those that were doing this asking were from the DWP. It also become obvious to me that this would then save money for every local council too, as they provide support services to the disabled.

The fact that they did this while continuing to receive very large salaries from the public purse themselves filled me with rage. Contempt for these people simply is not strong enough a word for what I felt for each of them. The attitude was if their salaries from the public purse was theirs by birthright? That they were of a different species to everyone else? That they were far more superior and far more important than anyone else.

And he wondered why he got booed at the London Olympics?

The same rule applies to put an end to all this and that is that a large enough section of British society simply needs to realise the truth. Oh and give a fuck about anyone else other than themselves that is.

Still working towards that and it feels like it has been forever and a day.

Now I am going to go back to another of Brian Cox's lectures on particle physics, this time at Cern.

AARGH!

AAARGH!

Cheese Louise!

My bloody word … this morning was the worst morning so far!

I was up around 6.30am, not a good sign I will get to in a moment, and downstairs scouring a very unusually slow Internet for help.

I have had this in the past, I most likely mentioned previously, and it is one of the worst feelings in the world and pain is preferable to this. I think this is why people 'self-harm' because I have considered it both now and previously. Along with the ultimate way to switch things off for good!

Back when I had it previously I had terrible trouble sleeping at all. Considering that the Fibromyalgia Syndrome I suffer with fairly badly is because we do not get any restorative sleep at all, this was not good. Of course at the time I did not know it was Fibromyalgia despite the 7 years of asking. I had to go and find out for myself and when I did realised that my GP at the time knew what I had as had everyone I had seen in the NHS for two years previous to this.

So at the end of the day I was left to rot, in pain physically in over a dozen places, terribly embarrassing symptoms, memory that fails to function and with anxiety that made you want to take your own life. Yeah I got angry with the system because I realised it cheated and was full of people with no heart, feelings, compassion or capable of regret.

Every single little thing you need to do starts to become a 200 Meter Olympic sprint! Every time you think of something you have to do and I mean anything … the anxiety strikes. Every time. You think about shopping you need, a bill you have to pay, having a bloody bath or shower?!

If you go to any site catering for mental health issues it will have a list and one that is always present is 'You find normal daily activities difficult'. Or something to that effect.

Combine that with 6 foot pains, knee pain, back pain along with embarrassing sudden vomiting flaky skin and with the worst possible embarrassing thing I rarely mention second only to being drugged to unconsciousness and taken to the high street and waking up there naked.

It is something that you wont want to admit but that you can .. involuntarily .. do, do to yourself?

Then add memory loss that occurs several times each day.

So this morning was really bad .. I am not one for self-harming, previously going straight to suicidal and sort of have, but I wondered if there was some relief in it today. Because …

I left the house to drop off some cheap coffee to a store owner I know. After a bit of a chat and telling him I might admit myself to hospital, though asked myself why I would bother. I also had en Employment Support Allowance application form that the Citizen's Advice … oh crap, .. right I have emailed the Citizen's Advice Bureau. I had forgotten to do it. Same old, same old.

I took an ESA claim form to the Job Centre as was instructed by the Citizen's Advice but they refused to take it as I have an ongoing thing with them. They guy also told me that Employment Support Allowance was only a temporary benefit and that people had to be re-assessed. Interested now that he said that I asked the guy how often do people have to be assessed? He said “Every 13 weeks” and I said “Where? Here?!” and he said “no, an outside company does it” and I replied “oh you mean companies like Atos?” he made some remark about how they are not so involved in it anymore but basically said in a roundabout way that it was. A company like that. I then stated that it was stupid to drag people with disabilities all over the place every 13 weeks if they had conditions like mine that were incurable. He made some of the crap excuses, jobsworth stylee, and I could have told him that I know they have asked people and me to go places like Ilford and even Chelmsford in London boroughs. Itt is not really worth the effort and mostly they do not have the common sense to agree with what you say anyway, despite how bloody obvious it might be.

I was in pain and feeling somewhat … out of it, or stoned even, as I was getting about but the pain seemed to have an effect at lowering the anxiety. Due to this and realising it had, had this effect previously I wanted to continue walking until I died.

I then thought 'perhaps this is it? The reason people self-harm? Perhaps I should try it?' Anything .. absolutely anything is better than this!

Except perhaps the pain I was getting in my stomach recently? My GP held to fingers, I think it was, into my waist on my right flank and asked me to cough. Something hit his fingers that was not supposed to, apparently. Hence why I am still awaiting one more hospital letter.

Each time I have grief, pain from my stomach, anxiety attacks and difficulty getting about I ask myself why it cannot be something that just kills me. Though this is still a real possibility from the blacking out and falling unconscious for ten to twenty minutes at a time. Find out at some point in August, possibly.

I literally thought this morning about walking in front of a bus or a lorry but this would not be fair on the driver and witnesses on any bus. Would be a harrowing thing to put people through.

Good God, I wished I had known I was still capable of having these anxiety attacks! Also about any threat to my home!

Hmm .. I am finding something out for the first time now! I shall explain ..

Now first off for a time and was about to look for someone I could talk to about certain things .. my blogs for starters. I had an idea to start my own business some years back and even way back then, before they kicked me off wrongly for 7 years, I asked for help.

I do not have to tell you this as many others, albeit begrudgingly at times, will tell you or admit that I am not only good at what I do but also how many things I can do and know about. Well I do have thirteen blogs and do not cover every topic I am into or know about.

I have also thought about doing something part-time, which really is all that I could handle with my conditions but I do have to be careful over certain .. things. No one wants to sit on their arse doing nothing all day and I certainly don't. I even thought about asking the Citizen's Advice on my next meeting with them about this … is like a kind of help, advice and support role?

This is all proved because of the existence of my blogs which also show what I can do.

I would dearly love something to do .. I really would and struggle to find things to do most days, as the weather is crap as opposed to good where I would be out and about on my bike with two cameras, one a massive 83x zoom Nikon and the other a waterproof camera that is more or less identical to a GoPro.

I cover both these purchases on my blog and my YouTube channel.

Well I was surprised at the pressure that the DWP and their ESA were putting on people and I decided to go and have a look around the Internet.

The good bit: they can offer wellness classes such as walking groups, CBT, help with CV preparation, training to change occupation - all sorts of things.

This was an interesting part of a web-page I was looking at.

The other group of people on ESA will have been placed in the Support Group (a misnomer in my view, as they don't get any 'support') because they are deemed too ill/disabled to participate in any work related activity.

This was another interesting one but I am so negative about these people, hear so many bad stories and have heard them lie to others, to me and even on TV a few years back. Documentary about Job Centres that claim they have lots of jobs but were proved to be all fake. Turned out to be very old jobs but pretended that there were jobs so that they could screw people on benefits that were actually looking for work!

This is so wrong to the point that everyone ever associated with this that carried out this shit should be fired on the spot. I would love to have a Job Centre to go to, to genuinely speak to someone about help. Tried it when I was registered disabled several years back and they told me that despite me being disabled there was no help available?!

Well that shows how much they cater for people with disabilities looking to either work or start their own business?! Fan … tastic! Not!!

You need good medical evidence for any appeal, and it needs to be specific to the grounds of your appeal, not just saying you have Lupus. It is not about your condition(s), but about the functional difficulties you have because of the condition(s).

Annnd … worrying.

If you have a condition then it comes with problems, symptoms and implications. Including Lupus and I find it strange that they mention this because I know of someone, a friend's sister, who has this. She was on DLA and like me and tens of thousands of others was kicked off. Also just like me she fought for years, not as long as I at 7 years, to get it back and did. When I mentioned to this friend that the DWP were singling me out yet again and now going after my Incapacity Benefit she told me they were doing the exact same thing with her sister, yet again?!

She even had an MP help her and write to and complain to the DWP! I think the MP even accompanied her on a visit. Now that is an MP I would like and would also like all MP's to be like. Not just swanning around with on overflowing feeling of self-importance!

The good bit: they can offer wellness classes such as walking groups, CBT, help with CV preparation, training to change occupation - all sorts of things. It does not involve being told to apply for jobs. They cannot ask you to do anything that would make your condition worse. There is really nothing to be afraid of. If they push you in a direction you are not happy with, complain to their manager and complain to the Jobcentre.

The good bit about that? “They cannot ask you to do anything that would make your condition worse.' The webpage.

https://healthunlocked.com/lupusuk/posts/441867/what-does-it-mean-to-be-in-the-esa-work-related-activity-group

Apart from asking a guy that can have a potential two dozen black-outs per day, in constant pain and on loads of medication for it, forgetful beyond belief and can do,do oneself or vomit all over someone to drag his arse across London to submit to a medical assessment!

It is literally a contradiction. So your disabled and they ask you to travel several miles on several public transport vehicles so that you can have a medical assessment to see if your fit?

If you Do turn up then your fit and if you don't … they cancel benefits, despite being accepted as disabled a year previously? For an incurable and degenerative disease?

Dr Kirkham at Guy's Hospital told me, and audio recording of it on here, that he has patients that are quite literally bed ridden! I really, really did not want to hear that.

He told me that he could tell I had, had Fibromyalgia a long time as I had worked out that cycling is good as you need light exercise and that you cannot do too much nor too little. The latter is one of many reasons why I could only manage something part time but even that would scare the crap out of me.

I do not want to be sitting on my arse all the time, I do not want to be in pain all the time and nor do I want to be bed ridden!

Over doing things normally shows up, not immediately which is the weird thing, 24 to 72 hours after the over-doing it. Or more accurately 'flare-ups'. This can come in any number of forms and simultaneously too.

So I have no issues with doing something .. part time but it has to be somewhere I can reasonably get to by a single bus and not in busy hours or by bike. If the latter then somewhere to place my bike is obviously a must. There are many things I know about and therefore many things I can do.

Be bloosy typical if they placed me in the Lea Valley Park Authority?! I would like working with and for nature but I have a little bit of a history with them on here. I know they are on a bog con, plant British Orchids and then probably go to each local authority the park runs through and asks them each for £Millions.

They are also really bad at park management and I have lost count of the number of people I have spoken too that live locally to the Lea Valley Park, some even knowing a thing or two about nature who complain to high hell to me about their management, or lack thereof. I have even given them some free advice that they ignored but did reply to my email and told me lies about areas of the park being all natural. This particular bit has not only pond liners running underneath the ponds but also a tough liner running several hundred metres! I kid you not.

So the ESA have this WRAG thing, Work Related Activity Group? Sounds good as long as these people have a helping hand and not a cattle prod to force you with.

I notice they have CBT which will be for sufferers of mental health problems? Yeaah … CBT, or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, is good in theory … except you have three problems …

1. It does not always work
2. It generally is for people who stress out over spilt milk and not those that suffer attacks over pretty major issues
3. Any medical professional in the mental health areas think this CBT is like some sort of magic when in fact it is nothing more than snake oil … or placebo effect mechanism

I belong to the latter. Nothing will help you until that major threat goes away and you are re-assured that all is well. Or it is proved to you.

With CBT you are given tasks to do … you know … tasks that are not important and you have difficulty doing the mundane normal daily activity ones? Yeah … that is stupid. How can I concentrate on a series of tasks when I have one driving me towards suicidal thoughts? The feelings do not stop until the threat is gone or you take medication for it.

Now if you were extremely unfortunate to be someone that has to live with what I am experiencing all the time and without any major threats of being homeless or starving to death … yeah Cognitive Behavioural Therapy might work in a good number of cases?

I found that with some strong believers of CBT that if you cannot focus on it then their attitude is that you obviously do not want to help yourself so they cannot be bothered with you. If we could help our bloody sevles then we would not have gone to them in the first place!

Someone really needs to sit each of them down and explain how the Internet works and that you can find out just about anything .. for free. I know because I have been using the Internet and had email addresses as far back as 1997. 1996 even when I did my Access To Computing course.

Now on the Fibromyalgia Action UK site it states that the DWP, or rather the assessors, are treating Fibromyalgia sufferers unfairly and are requesting people contact them with their experiences!

Category: Latest news

Created: Tuesday, 12 January 2016 13:28

PIP claimants are being forced to travel long distances to unfamiliar places in order to have a face-to-face medical assessment, due to a shortage of assessors and assessment centres and a computerised booking system which ignores claimants needs.

We’re asking Benefits and Work readers to help out by telling us about the PIP assessment centre you attended if you have already had a medical. That way new claimants can be better prepared for attending their medical, if they are unable to get it changed to somewhere they know. - http://www.fmauk.org/information- packs-mainmenu-58/benefits-articles-1

The inconsistencies of the DWP over Fibromyalgia being a disability has run for years … ask them outright and they state that it is. In a support group I attended but keep forgetting to attend any other for the last ten months or more I was the only one with a walking stick. Lol.

In the group there were teachers that did not realise it was a disability and was having trouble coping with her teaching job. She was advised, while I sat there, by another group member who worked for a local council, possibly Enfield, that they local authority and school need to cut dowen her days so that she could cope. She was often reduced to tears over her condition.

She showed absolute surprise it was classed as a disability and when she asked the lady advising her if she was sure everyone in the room said simultaneously “Ooh yeah, it is!”

Hi Lisa, i have fibro and i am getting DLA it took me a while to get it, i was refused untill i was asked to go to a medical by the DHSS and asked for a home visit, after this visit i re- aplied and had no problem getting it.

Some people get turned down more than 3 times but just keep appealing the eventually you should get DLA.

All of the best, keep your chin up

CHORLEY 

Here is an example of someone getting DLA for it, though I was refused despite having a rare form that affects my feet along with other things.

I applied once for DLA with two spine curvetures, a hernia, fibromyalgia and irritable bowel syndrome got turned down have not bothered since, Then my medical for being on ESA consisted off wriggle my fingers and toes gently then raise both hands to touch my shoulders slowly and gently , bend forward three inches slowly and gently, lay down on a couch provided and lift my foot 3 inches off the couch ... I was not let to be able to speak each time I tried to speak I was loudly spoken over I knew within the first very few minutes this medical is a complete fix

There a lot of stories like that one .. a lot.

Basically the DWP and government want to save money and they are bing opportunists and if your being opportunists to that extent and the experiences are as different from person to person with the same condition then they are not being fair and obviously not medical specialists.

Surely there is a law for pretending to be medical specialists?

If I bought a house, spent money making it look like a GP Surgery and advertised as a private General Practitioner or even a specialist … without qualifications of any kind I am damn sure I would go to prison at some point.

Yet time and time again with plenty of medical professionals around the sufferers to get things from you have to be and be assessed by people without compassion and without medical knowledge or even an understanding of conditions. Be that understanding cold and clinical or warm and compassionate.

Hmm it seems that according to the Fibromyalgia Action's website there is going to be a documentary about people with Fibromyalgia which is a high profile programme looking at disability benefits and the impact the changes are having on people's lives?

http://www.fmauk.org/latest-news-mainmenu-2/articles-1/46-media-coverage/1066-urgent-media-opportunity

On the following Fibromyalgia Action webpage are a few instances of people with Fibromyalgia and even one celebrity model, Jo Guest, who speaks about the illness ruining her life and career.

I will have to look out for that documentary about Fibromyalgia and see if I can get someone to tape it for me? Maybe it will appear on YouTube? Ooh that is an idea?! I can search for Fibromyalgia on YouTube!

If your treating people that have the same illness differently then you are discriminating against them in another way. It is as simple as that. Whether this is race or class or even unemployed people it does not matter. A Single Honours Degree in Applied Computing and turning down a PhD working in the world of medicine does not win you any brownie points!

Now I have mentioned my memory loss, known as Fibrofog, and I have stated very clearly and repeatedly that I fully understand the frustration people get with Alzheimer's Disease even the early stages. Your loss of memory causes stress, irritation and anger.

In the video above one woman states that she was experiencing memory loss to the point that she thought and was scared that she had Alzheimer's.

It also states that do not understand it and there is NO CURE for it, as I explained to a warm and lovely lady at the DWP who phoned up someone with memory problems asking them why they did not do something. Hence I get angry and I did with her. She denied it when I said they clearly had no knowledge of Fibromyalgia at all and were not capable nor qualified to assess anyone with this debilitating condition.

This is why I have never been shy about showing my frustrations and anger because you do feel this all the time and you simply and scientifically cannot turn it off. We really wished we could.

How about one woman that starts of in tears over the constant pain? Well look at this shorter video on Fibromyalgia Syndrome …

Umm … WOW!

The lady crying talks about not being able to handle heat and feels hot to the point of burning all the time. She also states that she has two air conditioners, something I have stated several times I would die for, but still has trouble.

That is the first time I have heard anyone mention trouble with being hot like me!

Another one mentions Restless Legs Syndrome which I have along with the much rarer Restless Arms Syndrome. I think these are basically the same thing and if you are bad then you get it in the arms as well as the legs. I would like to bet that only arms affected is extremely rare or even non-existent?

One states that people with Fibromyalgia require a lot of care and attention … yeah and I live on my own! I have stated so many times on my blogs and to Doctors how hard it is living on my own.

The very short version but there can be up to 200 odd symptoms ... hard to believe andd was for me but when I went through a checklist of every possible FMS symptom I had close to 120, though when Guy's Hospital diagnosed it they disocvered my right knee was a separate and physical issue. Go figure!