THE END IS NIGH

During all my time acquiring evidence against all of the public services I came across I would also ask myself questions about it all.

One of those is 'do they do this knowing they all help each other out to screw the public over?'

Now in my estimation the absolute best conspiracies only work when there are extremely few that are aware of their existence.

I have no doubt that at the top they are always thinking of these things whether it is in government, some private American owned company such as Serco ... or both.

One of the most difficult things for me to accept, as I sure believe it has also been the case for the majority of visitors, was that Doctors and general Practitioners are involved in this crap. Accepting that took a long time which is why it took years to build up the data for this blog. But were they and are they aware.

One single GP I was under actually admitted the lying and cheating but told me that their hands were tied by the NHS. SO that General Practitioners took the blame for something they did not do.

Now I will state that I first explained to her, Dr Huq, that they did this to help out the DWP and all Local Councils to save money and she looked intrigued. Then the a month or so later I went there with the truth ... a refusal letter for DLA from the DWP that stated I was turned down because Dr Huq was unable to ill in forms.

She went into a rage and said that she has filled these inn for 20 years and that the DWP had lied and that when a form is not filled in correctly the DWP returned it to the practice. So they lied and then conveniently forgot and then lied to me, saying they did not have enough medical evidence.

Some weeks later I handed in not one but TWO privately performed X-rays of my back because she wanted to see them. We were meant to meet up and she would tell me what she thought of the X-rays but ... when I came back in to make an appointment her stunned staff informed me she had marched in one morning, stated she had, had enough of the NHS, spun around and walked out! Taking my X-rays with her and staff having to phone the NHS to get a stand in GP until they had moved all the patients to other clinics.

So it would seem they knew patients were being screwed for money but did not know the bigger picture.

She learnt something that other GP's I have had have not. Be careful or you will be left holding the baby!

But if they did not know then how were the NHS doing  it?

I fully believe I now know the answer to that question.

Recently I had a phone conversation with the DWP where an odd, not too bright but patronizing woman, who obviously thinks all those without jobs are scum, said that they basically needed a letter where the GP worded it like he was there when I had a major seizure and fell unconscious.

That statement from her was so obviously lame that my answer was that GPs, Doctors, Nurses and Specialists cannot follow all their patients around 24 hours a day to see these healthh events when they happen and of course, IF they happen too.

Then I got a letter from my GP to give to the DWP and that question had lodged right into my mind, it was that bloody stupid.

When I got home I had a friend here who is himself a professional and was a social worker for Camden Council for 15 years. So he dealt a lot with people and their health issues and their Doctors and GP's. I looked at the letter and I spotted the word 'alleged'.I showed it to him and he reeled in horror and said that the use of that word in that context makes it appear that I am lying.

I laughed and said "What are they actually going to say that I made up a long list of symptoms for more than 15 years then waited all that time to say ... "Oh, guess what ... it is Fibromyalgia!" Fifteen years plus! REALLY?!

I was not happy with the letter I had just paid them £25 for and so sent them an email. The next day, yesterday, the GP called me up and told me that "We have to put alleged for legal reasons"?! I then told him that it was unny he should say that as when I spoke to the DWP they basically wanted a letter that was worded in such a way that he was standing behind me when the seizure happened and all the other Fibromyalgia stuff had happened. I told him that I told her that this was effing ludicrous and based on this no one would be getting any money at all who actually possessed all limbs while not confined to a wheelchair! I think he saw what I was getting at?

Anyway he agreed to re-write the letter. So I am taking to back today.

But then I thought ... "Wait a minute? I am assuming that because he said he had to put that 'alleged' in for legal reasons that a solicitors firm told them to do this. But WHAT IF it was the NHS?!"

BOOM! LIGHTNING!!

Suddenly every Doctor's letter states 'alleged' while the DWP want a written account of a GP witnessing this?! There's your trap. THAT'S YOUR CONSPIRACY!

Hmm ... do I bow at this point or just saunter quietly out the back door?!

LMFAO ...

Oh and the seizure? 

The appointment came through this morning ... oddly I do not have to ring up and it is already set ...

Now remember ... this appointment below is because of symptoms I have told all five GP Surgeries about I have been under while in Enfield.

I cannot recall if it occurred or I told any one before Enfield. Hmm the ear thing, yes. The eye thing I am pretty sure, no.

Sooo if it is a tumour ... or turns out to be something ... fatal ... or progressively debilitating..

THE ROAD TO EUPHORIA

I am not sure what is happening to me or what to do about it.

Today I had one of those afternoons where I am in effect, high. As in 'high as a kite', intoxicate or stoned!

I had been out to pick up something and just have a quick scan around at phones in these gadget shops as well as phone shops. Need to replace my phone, have one in mind and I seem to find it's sister phones, it little brothers but not the one I want. Which is a Motorola Moto X Style. Did want the Moto X Force but then found it is not entirely waterproof as it seems to suggest kn adverts.

I have had a great many Motorola phones and going backwards a Moto G, Motorola Atrix ( do ... NOT get me started on that phone), Motorola Defy and some odd other models going back the the StarTacs.

I have had others too.

Looked in half a dozen places over the last couple days and not found the one I want but not in a position to buy just yet so just looking. Idea being if I found one I would put down half the money.

There is one I have thought about getting in my local Game Store but it is a previous, 2nd, generation model and no SD Card reader. Only 16GB too. I have a 8GB Moto G and I would never have a phone with low memory ever again. Do not get me wrong the phone has been great for the money but you are just so limited with what you can do and install on the phone. You can forget music.

Anyhoo I had to pick up some things from a friends shop but when I got home I was a little out of it so I waited it out a couple of hours. Instead I felt sleepy so I went out as I did not want to go out tomorrow. As I was walking along I suddenly noticed I was walking along normally, which is rare as I normally limp, and my pains had died down. I suspected I was having one of these weird afternoons I have had recently where this does happen but then I end up feeling a little ... 'high' and I mean ... STONED 'high'. Like you have had a weak spliff, or cannabis.

As I was walking I started to feel it coming on and to my shock I continued on even higher and I even started getting the 'munchies'. If you do not know you get these cravings to eat when your stoned on cannabis. It is very weird and very enjoyable, even a little euphoric at times.

I was nearing a local shop and all I could think about was drinking and sugary things and when I went in I bought a can of Monster Ripper, I normally go for the green standard one, a carton of Orange Juice and a Snickers Duo along with chocolate raisins, strawberry pencils and some fizzy blue bottle ... things. Oh I recall the packet saying 'Bubblegum Flavour'.

I felt like Francine Smith in an episode of American Dad where she lets Jeff, Hayley's husband, smoke cannabis which he gets on prescription for his very over active libido. She gets stoned with him when she gives in, catching him ... well, pulling it several times, and downs a bottle of orange drink of something or other. Cannot recall what she called the drink, lol.

I downed everything as I was walking along and carried on getting higher and just wanted to stop walking and sit down. It was mad ... I kept thinking about just sitting on the floor or a wall and before long I did!

I eventually moved along but sat down again. Eventually moved along and then sat down yet again. I sat down around four times over a distance of about 100 metres. It was mad.

I get to my friend's shop around 4pm and I was very lucky as he was closing early, had to pick up his daughter from somewhere or other I think he said.

I had consumed everything by the time I reached him, grabbed what I needed, paid him and left.

Around another 200 metres later I started feeling like I was coming down but still remained light headed. I recall wondering if it was like some type of diabetes thing and that the sugar or perhaps something else, like caffeine, had brought me back up?

If I am in when this happens I wake up in the dark wondering what happened and most of the time do not recall falling asleep.

This is when I would get one of the major fits, or grand mal if that what it was. I always feel light headed first and it is always in the afternoons and early evenings ... it is very weird and you could set your watch to it.

About 1pm in the afternoon is when it would start and around 4pm is when it is at its strongest.

Now I have been ordered to go to A&E if I was to have another full blown fit and am also awaiting a hospital appointment letter, along with a colonoscopy letter too.

I had considered going to the hospital, bad time of the day for me and public transport, as the feeling might give the positive results needed to any tests done on me at the hospital. But then again they may not do and I may waste my time.

I deliberate over it and I still needed some things for home, like milk I have tried to remember buying for three days, and decided not to go to hospital. Me travelling on packed trains and buses is an absolute no-no and this is me being both cautious and responsible. I have one other problem with travelling on buses, less so trains except tube trains, and this is when it is hot.

I do not handle the heat well ... I really, really hate it and have done for years and often think about living in the antarctic! Or Siberia!

I will experience increasing pain if I am forced to stand still for more than a few minutes and with that I get short tempered and someone rude will be knocked unconscious in the blink of an eye. That is me being ... RESPONSIBLE!

That is only the feet pain and not being able to handle heat.

There are a great many other things in things in my pain list and there is also a separate list for embarrassing things that could occur that often stresses me out no end.

Then there is the blacking out and now these seizures. It is just too much and if not for these things I would have had a job and actually something to do and get me out of this damned house, long, long ago!

It is funny as this feeling I get is quite weird and edges closer and closer to euphoria until your completely feeling euphoric. A great many people would pay good money to feel like this but when it happens when it feels like it at some point in the afternoon and you live on your own it is becoming a major bug-bare. Things are hard enough as they are without this screwing things up.

So there I was walking down this road and heading straight for Euphoria.

I do not know if it just something else developing and you have to understand that with 120 symptoms there is always something knew developing every now and then. Or perhaps it is a drug I have recently been prescribed or an interaction between this new drug, Methocarbamol, and something else.

• Methocarbamol 2x 750mg
• Metoclopramide (cannot be bothered to look lol)
• Lansoprazole 30mg
• Quinine Sulphate (50mg?)
• Ramipril 10mg
• Amitriptyline 30mg
• Gabapentin 500mg
• Atrovastatin
• Tramadol

Hmm now that I am typing that out ... I remember getting to 900mg daily of Gabapentin and it making me ill and nauseous during the afternoons?

Maybe that taking it for long periods the same thing happens? Just takes longer?

That is how I got into a row with a GP that led me to discover they knew I had Fibromyalgia two years before I self-diagnosed it.

As I told a Jehovah's Witness recently who gets Pregabalin ... they refused to give it to me several times and the first time I asked was because Gabapentin was a horrid drug, cheap crap and makes not only me ill but everyone I have spoken to that ever took it except for one single guy. Oddly this guy that took it amazed me because he was taking 2700mg, two thousand seven hundred, daily without issues and did not understand why so many people had real problems with it. Most I have read about had issues long before reaching 1000mg per day.

I am going to drop the dose of Gabapentin and see what happens?

I just realised something else ... if it is the Gabapentin then it is this drug that caused an increase in my seizures to the point of passing out completely for ten minutes?! It simply has to be.

They knew I had a Hypertension problem along with a postural hypotension problem. So I have to risk dying now because the drugs I need are not allowed or too expensive for someone like me as I am seen as worthless? Nice! 

LMAO!

THE COMING TO TERMS

I have spent the last several hours forgetting what took place this afternoon, then remembering and then being shocked ask over again.

I am simply stunned I had a grand mal seizure.

I shouldn't be, or at least not as shocked as I am. I knew it was heading for something. They seemed to be getting stronger every now and then and I collapsed completely a couple of times recently.

When I say that I mean collapsing completely to the floor, not against a shelf or magazine rack and holding on for dear life as is normally the case and has been for a number of years now.

It keeps flashing through my mind how weirded out I was at finding myself lying on the floor. On my left side I think. I only remember feeling like I was being violently shaken but in an involuntary movement kind of way and sitting upright and staggering into my knees.

As far as I can find the postural hypertension I was diagnosed with does not come up as a cause for seizures. Many things do and unfortunately many are fatal.

Many of the ones that aren't fatal can easily be ruled out, bit leaving the prognosis looking too clever.

Well I did state several times that I don't think I would make it to the age my father did at 56.

To think, I thought enough people would realise the truths hidden in this blog, tell family and friends about it who would do the same and I'd get to have a private Doctor look at me before the NHS killed me?

Fat chance.

Was not that long ago I told a friend it looks like I have diverticulitis and he said that, that , could kill me.

Oddly one of the not so nice possible causes does state fogginess of the brain and more importantly, gut problems.

I had settled in diverticulitis because it was obvious that bacteria was involved each time I had a fourteen hour dose from hell. Unless the guy problems listed for the condition I saw involved bacteria?

Seems funny really waiting eight days to see a Doctor over things that have a 50/50 chance of being the worst kind of news! Lol.

A friend of mine said I am not eating enough. He says that for everything that ever happens. I'm sure fit some bizarre reasons he wants me to get fat?

Except I have spent twenty plus years not eating breakfast and I had a banana and a couple of Jaffa cakes with milk this morning.

So it's not lack of food not is it low blood sugar.

EDIT: I also forgot to put in the very thing I forgot to mention in the previous post. I had scraped my arm in one place and a scratch on the opposite side of my forearm. So I deduced that as I fell my arm went through the wire of the fence. 

I also felt a stinging in the back of my leg and after a few minutes a stinging feeling also on my forearm and later realised I had landed in a load of stinging nettles.

It is only now I am wondering what would happen if someone had a fit and fell into a she load of stinging nettles?! Ouch!

END EDIT

I had forgotten until I see the BBC News below that along with getting several movies and several photographs of some of the British wildlife I saw a very large wasp while I was out.

It was so large it had to be a Hornet but not one over seen before and certainly not anywhere around here. Whereas Hornets are slightly hairy this had a smooth abdomen just like your average wasp. It was almost exactly the same colour as the average wasp. Just over twice the size.

It flew down into some grass right in front of me. I tried to tease it out with a stick to film it but no joy. It must have had a burrow in the soil to not come out when teased?

Are 'killer' Asian hornets on their way to the UK? - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-36349379

WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT

I left the house without a bike today, despite the great weather.

I over did it yesterday cycling around 16.5 to 17 miles when I was only used to around 6 miles lately.

I went to a friends pet store and took a couple of pictures and showed them my new Nikon P900 camera.

I then decided to go to a local wood to see if I can get some shots before I then went home to do some household chores.

It was a lot warmer than I expected it to be, still no snow Met Office, and realised that even with my half sandals I should have been in shorts and without my waistcoat!

At one point I saw a couple of Wild Violets just sitting there beside the path and crouched down with the new camera to get some shots ...

My new camera was attached to my quick release bracket system, hook attached to camera clips into this caribiner type clip attached to a shoulder strap that runs up and down between user designated points in the strap. So you can just grab the camera from your side and bring it straight up to eye level.

I stood up using my walking stick but the other hand holding my camera, not feeling to sure the quick release system was set up correctly.

As I reached the full standing position I could feel a light headedness and my postural hypotension coming on. It got stronger and I thought it would be over any second. But it continued to gtet stronger and I started to wonder if this was actually going to stop this time around?

It got stronger still and I was blacking out, I put my feet and legs into a goat clamping position, its a martial arts thing, and then could feel my legs giving way but my stance managing to help the dwindling energy to keep me upright.

I grabbed a wooden log fence with both hands as I could feel a really warm tingling engulf me up to my head and everything went completely black.

I started to come to, my head tingling like crazy and realised I was slumped against the fence. Once I realised what had just happened I was relieved I was in some woods no one ever goes but then wondered what would happen had I stayed unconscious?!

Brrr!

I was holding onto this ...

If it ever occurs again at the exact location I will have to name it the 'blackspot blackspot'! Lmao!

Eww. It is very, very weird and quite disturbing when that happens and it gets as strong as that. You feel like your losing your control over everything and I wonder if that is how you feel when you die?

It is so hard to explain about this weird and very warm buzz that engulfs you and gets stronger and is almost like you have been wired into some electrical device with someone slowly turning a knob and gradually increasing the power. Until you black out!

No convulsions though!

I think I was out for a few seconds? But then you, or at least I, just don't think of checking the time when your blacking out! I could have been slumped against the fence for an hour for all I know?

I am sure it was just a few seconds though.

DANGEROUSLY HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

When is your blood pressure dangerously high?

I have wondered that question many times over the past 6 months to a year. I mean I know that over 180 for Systolic and over 110 for Diastolic you should go straight to hospital ... but is it really that necessary?

Well after a really bad day two days ago and killing myself on a too long bike ride yesterday I was feeling a bit strange this morning.

I saw the pouch my blood pressure monitor resides in and thought I would test mine.

Blood pressure should read around 115 and about 80 or 90.

Anything over 140 is Stage 2 Hypertension and anything over 180 for the higher figure and 110 for the lower figure you should go to hospital.

As you can see it is 185 and 124.

Sooo...do I phone an ambulance? Because getting to hospital will raise my blood pressure no end!

This is in the morning by the way, not been outside, not done any exercises or anything.

If you have not been on here before there are several other blood pressure takings but despite hitting over 170 a lot and 179 just a few days ago this is the first time I have measure it at over 180.

So what do you do?

I mean that as far as I know the higher blood pressure is supposed to have an adverse effect on your body but this is over time.

How long a time?

Is it a few days?

A few weeks?

A few months?

A few years?

When does it really become immediately dangerous?

Hmm Web MD states damage to brain, eyes and kidneys? Funny that as when I get the postural hypotension, probably because of the massive drop from the high blood pressure, I get a pain behind my eyes. Something I keep forgetting to mention to my GP because of my Fibrofog but may well be on the printout of forgotten stuff I handed to them recently?

But then I do not remember what I put on it!

Anyway I did a video of it, just for the records. Lol. Well you never know when something fatal might occur?

So with the Postural Hypotension my blood pressure can go from 185 over 124 to as low as 80 or lower over 60 or lower in seconds annnnd BOOM! LIGHTS OUT!