THE ROAD TO EUPHORIA

I am not sure what is happening to me or what to do about it.

Today I had one of those afternoons where I am in effect, high. As in 'high as a kite', intoxicate or stoned!

I had been out to pick up something and just have a quick scan around at phones in these gadget shops as well as phone shops. Need to replace my phone, have one in mind and I seem to find it's sister phones, it little brothers but not the one I want. Which is a Motorola Moto X Style. Did want the Moto X Force but then found it is not entirely waterproof as it seems to suggest kn adverts.

I have had a great many Motorola phones and going backwards a Moto G, Motorola Atrix ( do ... NOT get me started on that phone), Motorola Defy and some odd other models going back the the StarTacs.

I have had others too.

Looked in half a dozen places over the last couple days and not found the one I want but not in a position to buy just yet so just looking. Idea being if I found one I would put down half the money.

There is one I have thought about getting in my local Game Store but it is a previous, 2nd, generation model and no SD Card reader. Only 16GB too. I have a 8GB Moto G and I would never have a phone with low memory ever again. Do not get me wrong the phone has been great for the money but you are just so limited with what you can do and install on the phone. You can forget music.

Anyhoo I had to pick up some things from a friends shop but when I got home I was a little out of it so I waited it out a couple of hours. Instead I felt sleepy so I went out as I did not want to go out tomorrow. As I was walking along I suddenly noticed I was walking along normally, which is rare as I normally limp, and my pains had died down. I suspected I was having one of these weird afternoons I have had recently where this does happen but then I end up feeling a little ... 'high' and I mean ... STONED 'high'. Like you have had a weak spliff, or cannabis.

As I was walking I started to feel it coming on and to my shock I continued on even higher and I even started getting the 'munchies'. If you do not know you get these cravings to eat when your stoned on cannabis. It is very weird and very enjoyable, even a little euphoric at times.

I was nearing a local shop and all I could think about was drinking and sugary things and when I went in I bought a can of Monster Ripper, I normally go for the green standard one, a carton of Orange Juice and a Snickers Duo along with chocolate raisins, strawberry pencils and some fizzy blue bottle ... things. Oh I recall the packet saying 'Bubblegum Flavour'.

I felt like Francine Smith in an episode of American Dad where she lets Jeff, Hayley's husband, smoke cannabis which he gets on prescription for his very over active libido. She gets stoned with him when she gives in, catching him ... well, pulling it several times, and downs a bottle of orange drink of something or other. Cannot recall what she called the drink, lol.

I downed everything as I was walking along and carried on getting higher and just wanted to stop walking and sit down. It was mad ... I kept thinking about just sitting on the floor or a wall and before long I did!

I eventually moved along but sat down again. Eventually moved along and then sat down yet again. I sat down around four times over a distance of about 100 metres. It was mad.

I get to my friend's shop around 4pm and I was very lucky as he was closing early, had to pick up his daughter from somewhere or other I think he said.

I had consumed everything by the time I reached him, grabbed what I needed, paid him and left.

Around another 200 metres later I started feeling like I was coming down but still remained light headed. I recall wondering if it was like some type of diabetes thing and that the sugar or perhaps something else, like caffeine, had brought me back up?

If I am in when this happens I wake up in the dark wondering what happened and most of the time do not recall falling asleep.

This is when I would get one of the major fits, or grand mal if that what it was. I always feel light headed first and it is always in the afternoons and early evenings ... it is very weird and you could set your watch to it.

About 1pm in the afternoon is when it would start and around 4pm is when it is at its strongest.

Now I have been ordered to go to A&E if I was to have another full blown fit and am also awaiting a hospital appointment letter, along with a colonoscopy letter too.

I had considered going to the hospital, bad time of the day for me and public transport, as the feeling might give the positive results needed to any tests done on me at the hospital. But then again they may not do and I may waste my time.

I deliberate over it and I still needed some things for home, like milk I have tried to remember buying for three days, and decided not to go to hospital. Me travelling on packed trains and buses is an absolute no-no and this is me being both cautious and responsible. I have one other problem with travelling on buses, less so trains except tube trains, and this is when it is hot.

I do not handle the heat well ... I really, really hate it and have done for years and often think about living in the antarctic! Or Siberia!

I will experience increasing pain if I am forced to stand still for more than a few minutes and with that I get short tempered and someone rude will be knocked unconscious in the blink of an eye. That is me being ... RESPONSIBLE!

That is only the feet pain and not being able to handle heat.

There are a great many other things in things in my pain list and there is also a separate list for embarrassing things that could occur that often stresses me out no end.

Then there is the blacking out and now these seizures. It is just too much and if not for these things I would have had a job and actually something to do and get me out of this damned house, long, long ago!

It is funny as this feeling I get is quite weird and edges closer and closer to euphoria until your completely feeling euphoric. A great many people would pay good money to feel like this but when it happens when it feels like it at some point in the afternoon and you live on your own it is becoming a major bug-bare. Things are hard enough as they are without this screwing things up.

So there I was walking down this road and heading straight for Euphoria.

I do not know if it just something else developing and you have to understand that with 120 symptoms there is always something knew developing every now and then. Or perhaps it is a drug I have recently been prescribed or an interaction between this new drug, Methocarbamol, and something else.

• Methocarbamol 2x 750mg
• Metoclopramide (cannot be bothered to look lol)
• Lansoprazole 30mg
• Quinine Sulphate (50mg?)
• Ramipril 10mg
• Amitriptyline 30mg
• Gabapentin 500mg
• Atrovastatin
• Tramadol

Hmm now that I am typing that out ... I remember getting to 900mg daily of Gabapentin and it making me ill and nauseous during the afternoons?

Maybe that taking it for long periods the same thing happens? Just takes longer?

That is how I got into a row with a GP that led me to discover they knew I had Fibromyalgia two years before I self-diagnosed it.

As I told a Jehovah's Witness recently who gets Pregabalin ... they refused to give it to me several times and the first time I asked was because Gabapentin was a horrid drug, cheap crap and makes not only me ill but everyone I have spoken to that ever took it except for one single guy. Oddly this guy that took it amazed me because he was taking 2700mg, two thousand seven hundred, daily without issues and did not understand why so many people had real problems with it. Most I have read about had issues long before reaching 1000mg per day.

I am going to drop the dose of Gabapentin and see what happens?

I just realised something else ... if it is the Gabapentin then it is this drug that caused an increase in my seizures to the point of passing out completely for ten minutes?! It simply has to be.

They knew I had a Hypertension problem along with a postural hypotension problem. So I have to risk dying now because the drugs I need are not allowed or too expensive for someone like me as I am seen as worthless? Nice! 

LMAO!

WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT

I left the house without a bike today, despite the great weather.

I over did it yesterday cycling around 16.5 to 17 miles when I was only used to around 6 miles lately.

I went to a friends pet store and took a couple of pictures and showed them my new Nikon P900 camera.

I then decided to go to a local wood to see if I can get some shots before I then went home to do some household chores.

It was a lot warmer than I expected it to be, still no snow Met Office, and realised that even with my half sandals I should have been in shorts and without my waistcoat!

At one point I saw a couple of Wild Violets just sitting there beside the path and crouched down with the new camera to get some shots ...

My new camera was attached to my quick release bracket system, hook attached to camera clips into this caribiner type clip attached to a shoulder strap that runs up and down between user designated points in the strap. So you can just grab the camera from your side and bring it straight up to eye level.

I stood up using my walking stick but the other hand holding my camera, not feeling to sure the quick release system was set up correctly.

As I reached the full standing position I could feel a light headedness and my postural hypotension coming on. It got stronger and I thought it would be over any second. But it continued to gtet stronger and I started to wonder if this was actually going to stop this time around?

It got stronger still and I was blacking out, I put my feet and legs into a goat clamping position, its a martial arts thing, and then could feel my legs giving way but my stance managing to help the dwindling energy to keep me upright.

I grabbed a wooden log fence with both hands as I could feel a really warm tingling engulf me up to my head and everything went completely black.

I started to come to, my head tingling like crazy and realised I was slumped against the fence. Once I realised what had just happened I was relieved I was in some woods no one ever goes but then wondered what would happen had I stayed unconscious?!

Brrr!

I was holding onto this ...

If it ever occurs again at the exact location I will have to name it the 'blackspot blackspot'! Lmao!

Eww. It is very, very weird and quite disturbing when that happens and it gets as strong as that. You feel like your losing your control over everything and I wonder if that is how you feel when you die?

It is so hard to explain about this weird and very warm buzz that engulfs you and gets stronger and is almost like you have been wired into some electrical device with someone slowly turning a knob and gradually increasing the power. Until you black out!

No convulsions though!

I think I was out for a few seconds? But then you, or at least I, just don't think of checking the time when your blacking out! I could have been slumped against the fence for an hour for all I know?

I am sure it was just a few seconds though.

DANGEROUSLY HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE

When is your blood pressure dangerously high?

I have wondered that question many times over the past 6 months to a year. I mean I know that over 180 for Systolic and over 110 for Diastolic you should go straight to hospital ... but is it really that necessary?

Well after a really bad day two days ago and killing myself on a too long bike ride yesterday I was feeling a bit strange this morning.

I saw the pouch my blood pressure monitor resides in and thought I would test mine.

Blood pressure should read around 115 and about 80 or 90.

Anything over 140 is Stage 2 Hypertension and anything over 180 for the higher figure and 110 for the lower figure you should go to hospital.

As you can see it is 185 and 124.

Sooo...do I phone an ambulance? Because getting to hospital will raise my blood pressure no end!

This is in the morning by the way, not been outside, not done any exercises or anything.

If you have not been on here before there are several other blood pressure takings but despite hitting over 170 a lot and 179 just a few days ago this is the first time I have measure it at over 180.

So what do you do?

I mean that as far as I know the higher blood pressure is supposed to have an adverse effect on your body but this is over time.

How long a time?

Is it a few days?

A few weeks?

A few months?

A few years?

When does it really become immediately dangerous?

Hmm Web MD states damage to brain, eyes and kidneys? Funny that as when I get the postural hypotension, probably because of the massive drop from the high blood pressure, I get a pain behind my eyes. Something I keep forgetting to mention to my GP because of my Fibrofog but may well be on the printout of forgotten stuff I handed to them recently?

But then I do not remember what I put on it!

Anyway I did a video of it, just for the records. Lol. Well you never know when something fatal might occur?

So with the Postural Hypotension my blood pressure can go from 185 over 124 to as low as 80 or lower over 60 or lower in seconds annnnd BOOM! LIGHTS OUT!

THE UNKNOWINGLY STONED

I am stoned!

Stoned like you would not believe.

In fact at one point my legs suddenly felt like they were going to buckle under me and I was going to collapse?!

Fortunately I had been in my house several seconds when that came upon me!

Now here is the funny part...

I have absolutely no idea how this came about.

I had just previously been in Sainsburys and was planning a post about them in my head. No Kingsmill Toastie any more, the Cherry Tomatoes are not Cherry Tomatoes, no White Grapes yet again. Everything seems to taste like crap and I was wondering if it was my taste buds?

Belgian Sugar Waffles. Yeah, Belgian Sugar Waffles taste more than fine.

I had blacked out at the magazine rack like I normally do, well more often than not and quite literally so.

They did not have a single loaf of bread that to me did not taste like crap and feel ultra dry in the mouth, most of them I have tried. Now their bagels and their baguettes are top notch for taste, strangely.

I had been wondering for a while now if there had been a backlash from farmers of that farmers had refused to drop their prices lower and so Sainsburys had turned to sub standard food?

I was walking home across the park with cherry tomatoes on the vine, black grapes, a cheap jalapeno & tomato pasta, which oddly tasted like there was cheese in it and some baps and bagels. Ooh I forgot the strawberry laces I am now eating!

Oh yes and I got my old favourite of Duck with hoisin sauce in a wrap. That tasted like crap too!

I was wondering yet again on the way home what in the world was going on and could Fibromyalgia possibly affect signals going to the brain from your taste buds?

Or as I stated is there some backlash going on or are Sainsbury's in trouble like Tesco is but have manage to hide it?

As I was walking to my front door I realised the front door was ... well, moving!

I thought I was imagining this movement until I got inside and noticed things were ... well, swaying just a touch. It was then I noticed my legs felt like they would just go under me, this happened to me a very long time ago and in a stressful situation I found out where the term 'legs turned to jelly' came from when they literally buckled under me. My brain was telling them to move forward and the only direction I was actually moving in was downwards!

That feeling is quite ... surreal, let me tell you.

I then sat down and realised I was feeling very, very stoned and then I looked at the bags of food and what I had bought.

Well you know that thing they say comes over you once you have been stoned for awhile? That sudden ... urge you get to ... well, EAT?

Yeah half of this crap I bought home is now ... GONE!

My next conversation with my GP is going to be an interesting one!

I am pretty sure it is the Amlodopine. I could be wrong. Well I could always have been wrong all the way through. Done pretty good up until now!

LOL.

TOUGHING OUT THE TOUGH DAYS

I did not explain previously when I stated I had not slept last night that I was being affected by another symptom that is not Fibromyalgia.

That Emma and the rest of the Rhoids family have a great deal to answer for.

So today I wanted to remain indoors, despite not sleeping, anyway and try and get this house sorted out after it being turned upside down.

My ... issue remained and then was joined by another symptom totally, at least I thought and the NHS diagnosed twenty odd years ago, unrelated to Fibromyalgia and oddly to do with the outdated rugs I have been taking, my heartburn.

To make matter worse I was then started to get affected by yet another symptom and this one very likely is Fibromyalgia and feeling very nauseous and light headed to the point of thinking I would pass out of very vomit extremely badly! Unfortunately this is or can be made worse by something I enjoy doing when I am stuck in the house or in the evenings, and NO it does not also make me go blind. Hmm keep bumping into doors lately?! LMFAO!

Funny thing was I laid done for a bit hoping the nausea would ease of and then remembered I have been trying to locate the bluetooth dongle to a Logitech Touch Mouse I have had for ages but never used. The dongle was fairly long and sticking out the side of a laptop I thought the risk far too great that it would get broken off and damage the USB port too. I hate long dongles! Lol!

Anyway I have lots of dongles but cannot find the proper one and none of the others work, annoyingly. So while recovering a little from the nausea I then thought I should get in the loft. IO might live in a house but its an extremely small one and I have stated this before. Absolutely everything about my house is wrong for my conditions and so I have difficulties and end up in a dangerous environment all too often.

Still I am not dead just yet! Still in any event that this should occur designs are in place for the houses of cards to tumble almost immediately.

No so I ventured into the loft convinced it was there. I have no loft ladder, still, and my shop running friend thought he had one and wanted to give it to me because going in and out of my loft with my conditions is not good. If anyone were to watch me getting in and out of my loft they would have a fit!

My friend wanted to give me this loft ladder because not too long ago a very long known friend of ours was preparing to go to the continent and was in his own loft retrieving a suitcase. The poor bastard fell and ended up in hospital. Oddly I thought the fall had done the initial damage I had explained to me but I later found out it didn't. Like so many others before him and at least two family members he broke his back but was apparently OK, but then out of the blue he was not OK and he died!

He left behind a daughter that had lost her mother only a couple of years previous to this who only had a grandmother left. We were stunned and simply could not ask his daughter about what actually happened. I was first told he fell out of his loft, broke his back and died only later to be told that actually he was stable in hospital but with a severe injury and then out of the blue he died.

To this day we do not know the truth to what actually happened but it sounded like the hospital had missed something as they had done so many times before and that is only in my experience.

Every time I am in my loft I can see myself tumbling down and doing some serious damage and this got me to thinking. A friend called me up who had just been hit up the rear in his car while stationary by a woman who told him she had just come from the dentists. She then said she wanted her husband to sort it out, told him he would be round and left. He called the Police to report the incident just in case but called me to see if I could look up if it was illegal to drive after being given a local anesthetic. I said I would have thought so because an insurance firm would not cover a situation like that and you would technically be driving without insurance anyway. He then had a visit from the husband who then said that there was no damage to his car and that he was not going to hand over his insurance details, rather stupid considering what had actually taken place. There was a disagreement and I did eventually find, though not on most NHS sites and nor the Police or the DVLA, go figure, but I did find and it clearly stated that 'it will be treated by Police as driving under the influence'. I emphasized the word 'WILL' and stated it does not state 'MAY' as I have this odd feeling that as he is not anyone important that the Police will not bother pursuing it if this dude decides to do a moonlight flit and ignore him. Insurance companies wont be having any of that let me tell you.

Anyway I told him what had happened with my landlords son getting arsey about the house being damaged and then that his dad told me I was liable for the £250 excess after only just upping my rent again when stating a couple of months back that he wont and he was stunned and said 'Err he can't do that! Your not liable for the damage.' to which I said 'yeah I know and if he argues the point I would ask him that if this had happened if the property was empty, it is rented as fully furnished, would he then knock on the neighbours door and ask them for money? 'Because I am about as liable to someone breaking in to the property as the neighbour is to the exact same property!

I told him that I think they just want me out so next month when they return for the rent I will have to have it out, but in the meantime make some calls and get some back up in place over the liability issue.

I still cannot believe that they had the attitude they had in all honesty and like I said to my friend I thought we had considered each other as friends? I then said that this is what you get for being honest with people as they only pay half the attention and then go into self absorption over money. Bearing in mind he owns half a dozen properties now while both he and his wife drive rather expensive Mercedes a 4x4 M Class and soft-top S Class and buy the kids all new BMW's once they have been driving a year I kind of find the act of trying to extort £250 out of me bloody annoying.

Still it will all come out in the wash and I am feeling rather good about myself that I put some things into motion to kind of get the ball rolling on a few things.

When of these days everyone will realise that a blog is in effect an online diary, or is in this instance, and that they should have realised form the start that whatever trouble I am having goes on the bloody blog! Lol!

In fact ... damn it! Got a phonecall about that car incident and now found out that after the Police first insisted he go down the station to make a statement and on asking why they stated it was driving under the influence and therefore illegal he now goes down to thew station to speak to them and they ask him what he expects 'the boys', hmm new nickname for the bizzies then?' to do about it?!

Damn it!! Forgot to start that paragraph by stating I forgot what I was about to say in that paragraph!! LMFAO!

I said he should have reminded them about thew law and asked them if they would have had the same attitude had she have been under the influence of four or five pints?! I then said he would have also asked them that had someone been injured or worse till killed would they have the same attitude.

I think someone has forgotten that policing is about prevention as much as it is the cure and you cannot cure a dead person.

The owner of the car now seems to think that it should go through the insurance and my friend said 'alright then' but then the man stated rather wrongly that my mate would have to pay the insurance an excess, there is that effing 'F' word again which is now twice in three days! I have not even gotten around to insurance companies where they expect everyone to pay for every eventuality that does not even happen to them for year after year except take it out of their humongous profits?!

Fecking EXCESS, the only excess is the piss taking of people these people do!

Oh and I can say that with venom despite never having any issues with insurance. Well I do not think so and there are none that spring to mind but if I see something as just way beyond pure greed I simply see red. Why, I hear you ask?

Well simply because I always knew there would come a time when the institutions that were once proud and that we were once proud of would be thrown to the dogs whenever a recession or a financial crisis came along.

So in effect that public institutions that were created to serve the people that were also loved by the people were turned into money printing pillars of greed and laziness that would instead become figures or focal points of hatred by large sections of society that had even had injustices done to them, whenever it turns out to be realised, or something far, far worse and unthinkable.

If the Devil did indeed exist and had fooled me into thinking that he did not then I would not wish my life and horrors even upon him! That is the crux of it all in all honesty and this message of how things have been for me seriously needs to get across because I would not like to think of a country whereby the majority of people would have been put through the same and extreme roller-coasters of pain and emotions that I had been put through both physically, mentally and above all have done to their children as that which was done to mine.

Please and in the event that something untoward does happen to you or anyone that is close to you do not say I did not warn you.

I will add actually that the issue I just experienced about self preservation to the family who own this house it is this self preservation and disregarding others that do not deserve it is actually the root of all evil. Oh yeah so that would be money then? Martin, you dumb-arse! Lol!

As for my tough day ... yeah well the nausea, heartburn and that pain in my arse have been dreaded but I am lucky because yesterday, or the day before I cannot remember one, the right knee was playing up and once your hit twice by that upon leaving the sofa you then do so very gingerly after that! At least that did not combine with the other two and that reminds me that as well as that I have something else to talk about in my ongoing Fibromyalgia breakdown based upon my own studies, understanding and discoveries based on what I managed to squeeze out of books that even Guy's Hospital seem to be alien to?!

A few more days and additions and maybe the rare occasion when I actually read through something and make some changes before throwing it out there?!

Good God, that would be a first for me!

A DAY OF PECULIAR EVENTS

Today was a very odd day. Very odd indeed.

First off I had to go to my GP surgery today and give even more blood and this time they took three vials. I started to feel as if I was single handedly supplying th NHS with blood.

I asked what was going to be tested the nurse replied that one was a full blood count, one was for something I also suspected but cannot recall. One was something to do with my kidneys.

Those people at Google really are idiots, to my disappointment they have gotten hold of Quick Office and then set about ruining it. I would not mind but I paid 10 pounds for something I like and now have something I bloody well hate and does not wrk properly, keeps freezing on me, does not save correctly either nd is bloody confusing too use!!

I think I will avoid their Glass product until someone that knows how to create a good user interface makes one?! Especilly as it is Google as there is now no support either as they suffer fro the God complex and their is no email support!

I found another way to email them and asked for a refund because this is NOT the product I paid ten pounds for and is shit! They never replied strangely enough. I am not alone with this opinion either and a top selling Android magazine dong a piece on must have apps stated that Quick Office was a gret app until Google got ahold of it and ruined it!

It is times like this when they created something utter crap, or turn something good into utter crap, that I believe their huge growth in a short space of time obviously had darker reasons behind it?

I also have to return to Maplin tomorrow with a highly expensive double USB connector as I have a keyboard combined case here which I thought was not workinng. Only when I got home tonight another adaptor I ordered via Amazon turned up I paid something like two pounds for and I just tried it just in case and it bloody well works!! I am typing on it right now and am happy I now have a keyboard. This is because when your working obn rather large documents like some of my posts end up being, you start to notice that SWYPE gets mny things wrong. It is still substituting words I typed for words whose first letter I never went anywhere near?!

Wandered off a little there. So I was in TK Maxx when I suddenly noticed the pain wqs beginning to ease off. I was on the umm moving stairs cominbg down from the top floor when I noticed something with my eyesight. Suddenly everything was looking clear and vivid and was very strange and the only way I can currently describe it. There was something else to. I noticed that I was feeling relaxed and very calm. It was eerie but also nice and there was a point when I thought I could just fall asleep where I stood and collapse and a few times I thought I might actually do that?!

Now I should explain here that this was something very new. Yes I have had these odd periods at home during the day lately where I fall asleep which is very unusual for me and was confusing until I read about Fibromyalgia. Yes I have had nausea to the point of blacking out. But this was neither of these two things adnd was dfferent entirely.

I continued on and was giving this a great deal of thought when  realised what was going on which lead tome understanding my past behavioural problems. The fight or flght mode had somehow switched off or was turned way down at least? That is why I felt so calm and I realised that this fight or flight mode they speak of does not just affect your muscles by way of your fascia. It affects our mind too.


I realised that for a very long time I was hyper and it all started to make sense. My inabilityto remain in the house, my agitated behaviour, my itching to get out and about and do something and my impatience as well as my anger and frustration. I still maintain I have every bloody right to be furious with Doctors, Specialists and especially the dark figures that force this bureacratic crap onto patients! Or in their minds lesser mortals though they are about to find out there is no such thing?!

In effect my ind had been racing along with everything else and it needed to know everything and is likely why I did all the things I did. Even the thing abouyt not sleeping properly there is a post from a few weeks back where I punched out in the night and punched the bloody wall! I know who I was dreaming about and who I punched, do not worry about that and will be posted about another time.

So it was beginning to appear that maybe I had gotten some deep sleep for the first time in a long time. But even if this was the case it was not the sole reason I felt like I did. I  had taken my Amitriptyline the night before but desperate to not have another painful day I took my normal setraline, Tramadol and Paracetemol and added some Gabaentin into the mix. That was what did it!

Oddly it is not the first time I have taken a concoction of my own and I have even overdosed a few times too. But then when Doctors refuse to diagnose you and therefore give you he medication you need and even then only give you the cheap crap that barely works you force these things to happen! There is no excuse and no getting around that fact and all actions and decisions will have their consequences and sometimes these can be serious. There may also be repurcossions too with nasty surprises.

Take my health fior example. If I die as a result of the crap that Doctors have dished out my friends and famly will go nuts. There were 500 people at my father's funeral and they will all be heartbroken and/or extremely pissed with the goverment and the NHS ver this. Especially as many of them thought I was making up m pains for years becase the NHS kept fobbing me off with lies and excuses and not evebn a diagnosis.

At the end of the day I managed to find out what was wrong with me!!

Then there are all these blood tests I am havig, which is at least 4, and not forgetting the ultrasound scan. It relly does not surprise me that there re danger signs regarding my kidneys in all honesty. The Cholesterol levels being high was a surprise as was my glucose levels.

So now getting back on track yet again. On the way home I get off the bus and go into Sainsburys. On the way out I get annoyed with a twat with his head in the clouds and being inconsiderate. As I walk across the car park I think how strange it was because that was the first time I had felt uptight all day! Then I realised I was lmping quite badly due to pains in my left foot and my shoulders were now really tight and extremely painful.

That fight or flight mode was switched back on!
So bloody obvious and easy once yu know, lol. Still it is another piece of data for these archives of posts and all goes towards answering the most difficult of questions.

That is the primate in me I cannot control.

Cannot control and have had years of th9s driving me crazy as there have been a great many things I have been unable to control as well as being unable to deal with. I have great difficulty in trying to understand how thoughts and feelings can run away with themslves and that I cannot put the anchors on any of them. This is why I thought I was bipolar a few years back! But the fight or flight affectrs the jmind too and that puzzle solving ability I have went it overdrive.

Now this is he very funny part of all this because the cnstant and persistant refusal of NHS staff to accept there was something wrong and deal witgh it lead the condition to drive its victim up the wall abnd through so many horrors that it will now end up harming the NHS in a way that will never be forgotten.

Now THAT is funny!

THE DENTAL APPOINTMENT

It seems I had forgotten...

First time I decided to do this and fully expected to turn out to be something completely different, if it turned out to be useful at all that is.

Instead I capture the first moments of a FIASCO to end all fiascos and just as it SEEMS I have just started to be manipulated into being cast off yet again.

Not that I NEEDED this but I did need it for YOU!!

http://www.wuala.com/allnights/Evidence/Evidence%20MP3/2013-03-21_13-53.mp3/

I hope its the right file I forgot to rename it and it appears the right date and time, lol.

Oddly enough you will note that the time initiated is 01:53pm and outside the dental practice and the appointment was for 2pm. However I do not realise the mistake at first but I am told I am late when asked to go in and I just smirk.

Thought I had lost track of the time somehow but did think I could not be more than a couple of minutes late. Well until I saw the time stamp on the file and realised I was a couple of minutes early if anything, lol.

Odd.

A DAY OUT AT ACCIDENT & EMERGENCY

Well that is another day lost and no answers!

I did not feel good at all this morning and feel like crap right now!

My friend turned up and after he saw me an hour into his stay he insisted he took me to hospital which I pretty much wanted to do anyway.

My tooth and gums are playing up to and were this morning also.

After a rude nurse initially saw me, now completely out of it and had spent an hour trying to stay conscious so that I could hear my name being called I spent another hour fighting to stay conscious while feeling bad.

My friend returned to the hospital, to my surprise and I was able to stay alert much better than before and the I was seen and checked over and felt alot better.

Series of tests and listening to lungs and then a heart trace was performed, look in my ears and all, they tell me, was normal.

They then tell me they are going to give me tablets to stop me feeling dizzy which also turn out to treat for vomiting and ...wait for it ...Anxiety Disorder?!

Only some months ago when I asked my GP if there were any other drugs to help with the dizzyness and vomiting he said no only the Domperidone.

Another GP who has LIED and bare-faced lied.

I am also somewhat certain that I had recorded him when he said that so that must be on here somewhere?!

A loo on Wikipedia shows that there are not one or even TWO but SEVERAL drugs for vomiting and dizzyness.

I have copy and pasted an excerpt from Wikipedia here and you can clearly see it states that...

" It is critical for the physician to find out what type of dizziness the patient has"

" Most patients will be prescribed anti-dizziness medications such as Antivert (meclizine), Valium (diazepam), Xanax, Phenergan, or Compazine"

Both the above can be found at ...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labyrinthitis

Spinning dizzyness can be Vertigo?! Great!!

Or Ménière's disease, also causing Vertigo.

Of course and naturally so and after what the Neurologist said I am wondering of there is something here that us behind everything instead of Charcot Marie Tooth?!

Well I was told several times that all my ailments could not possibly be linked, but after no less than TWO, possibly MORE, GPs have been caught lying to me and one taking my private X-Rays and stating there were no other ant dizzy-vomit pills other than Domperidone (used for travel sickness) but actually turns out there are TEN or more I just cannot trust anything any Doctor, Nurse or Specialist either in the NHS, or otherwise, what anyone says any more!!!

The pills given to me are Prochlorperazine 5mg tablets.


I am now unable to deal with the tooth problem as I spent all day in Chase Farm Hospital's A & E Department which did not seem a problem around 3pm but now all my teeth are aching and I feel so fecking ill that I am scared to take even one single solitary pain killer!

Here is a scan of the prescription for the Prochlorperazine pills and if you think that is great wait until the next POST!!

BAD DAY TAKES A TURN

Oops so that pay was on the wrong blog, lol.

Pitfalls of using the useless Android App version of Blogger a will as this shite phone, lol.

So earlier I went upstairs to watch a film and with heavy eyelids I could boot decide what you watch and fell asleep. I woke up about 8.30pm and had to go out to get things I failed to do earlier!

I was panicking a little as it was view dark and bloody cold and wondered what I would do if that day finally came when it was too difficult our I collapsed?!

Turned out things were not too bad exhort for the pain in my tooth that was fast greater than BEFORE I visited the Dentist, fucking typical of the NHS but doing jack fucking shit for years SMS when they do they make it fast worse than it was previously, that is the attitude today and then the government are ready to put a boot up you're arse and you're suppressed to be grateful you have been seen and go out to work and pay them buyer taxes they can go and squander in something no different to a roulette table for the rich and powerful.

Oops I digress, as usual.

On the way back I grabbed a kebab as if had not eaten all day and was worried fatigue would be the next thing to occur. But I crossed the dual carriageway and was just feeling relieved things had improved when a sharp pain in my right groin had me pull up sharply and my limp get far worse and getting the last few yards to my home looking increasingly impossible?!

It is there times that are hard to put into words how difficult to explain WHAT they are like. I have asked about what to do at moments like this with hospitals and GPs and you just get blank looks.

Do when you can't walk any further our can't get home or out to get your food...

...who you gonna call?

Ghostbusters?

You might as well as every single member of the NHS I have put this to seen to regress back to their ancient primate origins and make monkey noises and life the ability to communicate a string of words together.

Oh yes and I remembered while limping home...

...it turned our to be the first stroke of luck in write awhile when I remembered that for the first time ever, well I think, I RECORDED MY DENTIST VISIT as I thought I was going to be palmed off of doing the work on my teeth as I had been last time our asked about doing the £200 hygienist work. I did not but well that I referred to you should be able to hear once I get it all up, including being asked if I was ok a few times and told to sir in the waiting room.

About time a plan coincided with an odd and worryingly revealing occurrence!

Should be up over the weekend.

NHS INCOMPETENCE PART 2: THE VAGUS NERVE!

Boy I am glad that is over..well I bloody hope it is over..

Firstly I woke up sore and still am, whatever that last push did hurt like hell and stings rather!

But was forced out today and took a shed load of cotton wool in my backpack and well as packing out my already padded cycling underwear?! LMAO.

Well after being told last night that my situation was going to get worse by an idiot that did not know what Ex Lax was I am pleased to declare that she was WRONG! Well THUS far, lol.

I fell into a peaceful sleep around 2am and then woke up at 5am, exactly why I do not know, but after going to the lavatory (noo not THAT) I listened to the news for awhile before falling asleep again.

Around 8am I woke up again and I was thinking bout what I had discovered the nght before on the Internet. As per usual of the NHS and being told I was getting an ambulance, then told no and I would get a visiting Doctor I was then told that I would not get this and by the same woman at Barndoc that said that my situation was about to get worse, due to the Ex Lax, that I was NOT going to be picked up but that they had booked me an appointment for 10.30pm at Chase Farm Hospital despite me telling her I could net get there. "Get a CAB!" she exclaimed and I thought how so many of us disabled people have so much money lying around that we can just phone for CABS at the drop of a hat.

To say that the public at large are naive is one thing but to get this from professionals is quite another. That it comes form so called medical professionals is utterly shameful and I would hang my head in shame to be THAT naive and complete lack of compassion.

So I spoke to no less than THREE people and the closest I could be told, other than I could have a heart condition, is that the odd symptoms I failed to understand were "yes that would be a change on pressure" and I thought 'what the feck does that mean?!'.

Looking on the Internet last night I found out what the REAL reason was and it seems that there is a nerve, called the Vagus Nerve and Vagus is latin for wondering due to its meandering path down your spine, that caused all that. It apparently, and believe me was bloody hard to find this information and dozens of so called health sites before I did and not on the NHS sire EITHER, that if you involuntary strain hard enough the Vagus Nerve becomes compressed and drops your blood pressure.

From that Vagus Nerve becoming compressed you get the heart attack feeling, the sweating, the vomiting feeling and the passing out!

It also turns out that a damaged Vagus Nerve can can impact your swallowing (which I have a history of), Indigestion (which I have a long history of), Constipation (which I have had on and off for years) and one site was speaking of sinus problems which I also had for many years.

Then I wondered whether or not the CMT, being a muscular atrophy, may have had an impact on this nerve over the years?!

A neurological muscular disorder which can alter something that would place pressure on this Vagus Nerve would explain absollutely every ailment that I have had for a very long time. From the more alarming and painful down to the downright annoying, blocked sinuses at night.

Still whether or not the Vagus Nerve in my body is damaged or not, i.e. just gets compressed now and then, it explains alot. My mind DOES get foggy and I have often typed on this blog about how shopping is a nightmare and I often go out and get back WITHOUT what I wanted or even needed.

Just today I entered Tescos and bought a litre of Milk and was half way home when I realised I had not bought Decaf Tea Bags?! This happens all the time and I have always put it down to the pain r stress that it will get more painful while out so forces me to rush. I have often typed about how there were times when I have gone upstairs no less than three times in 5 minutes only to forget what I went up for, come back down and then remember?! That is the most bizarre thing, it really is.

It is rather odd, I find, that an absolute diabolical agony that I experienced that I would NEVER want again, I bought Dulcolax (or whatever it is called) from the 99p Store while out, and three people unable to help me, well one person and two idiots, that led me to uncover details about the Vagus Nerve that together with CMT explains EVERYTHING!! Well possibly and there is still more research to be done.

Maybe if Professor Mary Reilly returns from her Christmas break and decides to contact me I can ask her opinion on this as the entire NHS do not have a clue and the woman who refused to send anyone out to me did not even know what Ex Lax was?! When she said Senna and I said Ex Lax she said no and I realised she did not know what it was and I corrected her TWICE?!

Oh GOD LOVE it has only been around since World War 2 and possibly PRIOR to this, that is all and you work in a medical capacity and am not familiar with possibly the OLDEST laxative known to man?! Riiiigggghhhhht!!

So there you have it for anyone that has had anything similar it is the compression of the Vagus Nerve that causes those odd and horrid symptoms that makes you feel like your dying sooo much that you just want to welcome death with open arms!

I said it before and I will say it again ...

... i long for the day when I actually speak to someone in the medical profession, oh OK the NHS then, that actually not only KNOWS SOMETHING but can actually GIVE YOU A BLOODY EXPLANATION!

So the fact that they cannot and that the first person I spoke to was absolutely overflowing with compassion for what I went through, once realised about Mrs Emma Royd, that a decision was made NOT to send for me nor to send anyone to me despite telling me it was about to get worse and I said 'I doubt that love as worse would mean death!'

I REST MY CASE REGARDING THE NHS!!