I had been doing some researching to see if I could nail down a part time job, to stop me from going out of my mind being stuck indoors especially now the weather is getting cold, when I got the idea that as I go I could post my progress.
Not really enough to post just yet and still ... well finding my feet really.
I was just about to get some rain water for my orchids while wondering whether to go out on my bike and do some research when a letter came through my door.
It was an NHS letter and I thought 'oh crap?!!'
A few weeks have gone by since I had the MRI on my head as well as the EEG and I was now beginning to think I can forget about a malignant tumour, provided there was no serious cock-up in the sending of test results? I had figured that after this last week, or rather after today, that even with some cock-up going on it would not take this long.
So just as I was about to think I was in the clear I pick up this envelope with the NHS logo across it.
I was fully expecting the letter to ask me to phone up and make a new appointment.
Only I realised it wasn't as I read it and then realised it was not the second thing I thought it was?! Yeah I am confused too. What it actually is is not the only thing that confused me and I will explain ...
It was a report to state that my EEG was normal, the test where I had three spikes of pain that made me flinch all three times.
So I then assumed that it was a copy of the report to be sent to the Neurologist at Chase Farm Hospital, Josephine Swanton. Except it wasn't and was actually a letter from Josephine Swanton to my GP stating that the EEG was normal?!
Giving the benefit of the doubt maybe pain spikes like I had are ignored because it is not primarily what they are interested in?
What is odd is that the MRI result was meant to come in at the same time. The 3rd of September was the MRI with two weeks for the results to arrive, as I was told making it sound like they had found a lump. Then exactly one week later I had the EEG at Royal Free Hospital, which got me into loads of trouble at court, which was to take a week. Meaning it would catch up with the MRI results from a week earlier.
Bearing in mind it is now ... 7th October so around four weeks later, I am left scratching my head why the MRI was not mentioned and also why you would send a letter through about one result when your waiting on two that should come in not that far apart?
I had wondered whether or not that in certain circumstances postural hypotension can be so bad that it can cause blackouts? But the jerking or convulsing like feeling I had when it happened did lead me to believe it was not a normal blacking out, though I was sure that due to the way the blackouts and falling completely unconscious that I was not epileptic. So despite the jerking brain feeling I did not think for one moment I was actually epileptic, just as I told Josephine Swanton at that first appointment.
So yeah ... a bit odd and quite unexpected to get that sort of letter and to even be sent a copy anyway unless of course my reputation from a few years back has made them do this?
Hmm I keep forgetting to look up bad postural hypotension, I am sure I tried looking a few months back though, so let us do that now...
Orthostatic hypotension is often mild, lasting a few seconds to a few minutes after standing. However, long-lasting orthostatic hypotension can be a sign of more-serious problems, so talk to your doctor if you frequently feel lightheaded when standing up. It's even more urgent to see a doctor if you lose consciousness, even momentarily - http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/orthostatic-hypotension/basics/definition/con-20031255
Now as a reminder I do not have your average Postural Hypotension and purely because my Fibromyalgia, or so my GP's brother told me who was my previous GP, causes my blood pressure to be quite high. Over 140 was normal and I even registered 182-3 on one occasion.
I did some tests when I was feeling the blackouts coming on, normally while holding some shelving in Sainsburys, and I had it go down to ... hmm was either 60 or 40.
Maybe a drop that much in a very short period of time can cause you to fall completely unconscious? I simply do not know and was unable to find anything about it reading up things about Postural or Orthostatic Hypotension.
I imagine it is impossible to give me pills for as these will be cheap and raise my blood pressure, when I already have high blood pressure? I did read somewhere there are pills that keep your blood pressure at a certain level but I would hazard a guess here that as these were never offered to me that they are . well, expensive? Lol.
Let us give them the benefit of the doubt once again and that they just want to make sure and that maybe I will be offered these pills at my next GP appointment?
And why was I told the MRI result would come through in two weeks when it is now four weeks and no sign of it? Especially when the sign on their waiting room wall stated that tumours arrive in two weeks and non-urgent ones in right? A bit stupid telling people that when you have that sign on the wall. That could lead to patients living in mortal fear for weeks on end?
So I think it is safe to assume that either it will be a cyst or the postural hypotension in combination with the high blood pressure and not a brain tumour? That is what I am thinking now. That Arachnoid Cyst?
I have lost a lot of weight and have not taken Tramadol in many weeks and I have not had a repeat of the the blacking out to the point of falling completely unconscious but I am still have the blackouts daily. Just to the point of stopping still for a few moments, bending over or grabbing shelving or my staircase.
I left the house without a bike today, despite the great weather.
I over did it yesterday cycling around 16.5 to 17 miles when I was only used to around 6 miles lately.
I went to a friends pet store and took a couple of pictures and showed them my new Nikon P900 camera.
I then decided to go to a local wood to see if I can get some shots before I then went home to do some household chores.
It was a lot warmer than I expected it to be, still no snow Met Office, and realised that even with my half sandals I should have been in shorts and without my waistcoat!
At one point I saw a couple of Wild Violets just sitting there beside the path and crouched down with the new camera to get some shots ...
My new camera was attached to my quick release bracket system, hook attached to camera clips into this caribiner type clip attached to a shoulder strap that runs up and down between user designated points in the strap. So you can just grab the camera from your side and bring it straight up to eye level.
I stood up using my walking stick but the other hand holding my camera, not feeling to sure the quick release system was set up correctly.
As I reached the full standing position I could feel a light headedness and my postural hypotension coming on. It got stronger and I thought it would be over any second. But it continued to gtet stronger and I started to wonder if this was actually going to stop this time around?
It got stronger still and I was blacking out, I put my feet and legs into a goat clamping position, its a martial arts thing, and then could feel my legs giving way but my stance managing to help the dwindling energy to keep me upright.
I grabbed a wooden log fence with both hands as I could feel a really warm tingling engulf me up to my head and everything went completely black.
I started to come to, my head tingling like crazy and realised I was slumped against the fence. Once I realised what had just happened I was relieved I was in some woods no one ever goes but then wondered what would happen had I stayed unconscious?!
Brrr!
I was holding onto this ...
If it ever occurs again at the exact location I will have to name it the 'blackspot blackspot'! Lmao!
Eww. It is very, very weird and quite disturbing when that happens and it gets as strong as that. You feel like your losing your control over everything and I wonder if that is how you feel when you die?
It is so hard to explain about this weird and very warm buzz that engulfs you and gets stronger and is almost like you have been wired into some electrical device with someone slowly turning a knob and gradually increasing the power. Until you black out!
No convulsions though!
I think I was out for a few seconds? But then you, or at least I, just don't think of checking the time when your blacking out! I could have been slumped against the fence for an hour for all I know?
I have wondered that question many times over the past 6 months to a year. I mean I know that over 180 for Systolic and over 110 for Diastolic you should go straight to hospital ... but is it really that necessary?
Well after a really bad day two days ago and killing myself on a too long bike ride yesterday I was feeling a bit strange this morning.
I saw the pouch my blood pressure monitor resides in and thought I would test mine.
Blood pressure should read around 115 and about 80 or 90.
Anything over 140 is Stage 2 Hypertension and anything over 180 for the higher figure and 110 for the lower figure you should go to hospital.
As you can see it is 185 and 124.
Sooo...do I phone an ambulance? Because getting to hospital will raise my blood pressure no end!
This is in the morning by the way, not been outside, not done any exercises or anything.
If you have not been on here before there are several other blood pressure takings but despite hitting over 170 a lot and 179 just a few days ago this is the first time I have measure it at over 180.
So what do you do?
I mean that as far as I know the higher blood pressure is supposed to have an adverse effect on your body but this is over time.
How long a time?
Is it a few days?
A few weeks?
A few months?
A few years?
When does it really become immediately dangerous?
Hmm Web MD states damage to brain, eyes and kidneys? Funny that as when I get the postural hypotension, probably because of the massive drop from the high blood pressure, I get a pain behind my eyes. Something I keep forgetting to mention to my GP because of my Fibrofog but may well be on the printout of forgotten stuff I handed to them recently?
But then I do not remember what I put on it!
Anyway I did a video of it, just for the records. Lol. Well you never know when something fatal might occur?
So with the Postural Hypotension my blood pressure can go from 185 over 124 to as low as 80 or lower over 60 or lower in seconds annnnd BOOM! LIGHTS OUT!
People and
organisations can be read like proverbial books.
This might be confusing
for some that are not aware that I blog about corruption and provide
evidence? But things always start off easy and then get more
difficult. Well … sort of!
There is a waiting time
you see. Gradually it gets longer every now and then. What you in
effect are doing is waiting for them to get comfortable.
Sometimes I can do this
to several groups at once. I kind of suspect that is what I have been
doing here?
I should be watching
San Andreas right now on Blu-Ray but it just so happens that for the
first time ever and by far the worst manufactured optical disc I have
ever come across since I started buying CD's in the eighties is
sitting around waiting me to take it back to Sainsburys.
You get that annoying
sequence where they now force you to watch their clips of other
films, or just one film, before you hit the menu area and watch the
damn film. By then you have devoured a full on 12 inch pizza by then!
PAN was he clip and it seemed to freeze every five seconds for ten
seconds!! After twenty minutes of this you get a menu screen but no
menu! No film!
Awful … bloody and
absolutely awful … Sainsburys and I am almost tempted to ask you if
your buying batches of 'seconds' or faulty ones to increase your
profit margin?
Now below is a video of
me flicking through the memory on my blood pressure monitor and me
doing a little monologue to try and make things a little more
interesting.
What I have not noted
or added on here is that I have known for some time now that I have
been getting both high and low blood pressure readings. Think both
Hypertension Stage 2 and above down to Postural Hypotension. Hyper
means high and Hypo means low.
From all the things I
have read on the Internet this is unusual and uncommon. Going to the
extremes in both directions rules out the cheap crap drugs they give
you to bring it down, like Ramipril. I have been given Ramipril no
less than three times. Despite the fact that my blood pressure was
dropping so much that I have been rendered unconscious.
Remember this happens
while I am standing!
You can make up your
own minds.
The NHS may have been
thinking for awhile they are free and clear? Oops … I am afraid
not!
I have a friend who has
been driving me nuts about this, he has seen the readouts being done
and seen the … or rather me becoming almost unconscious.
He has driven me mad
about going to the GP but I keep telling him I have done so already and even handed in results printed out from my PC. I am
going away in around ten days time, or I think I am, and he keeps
telling me I should not be going away until I sort out my blood
pressure.
He keeps telling me I
should have been referred and that the situation is stupid and
ridiculous.
I keep telling him that
short of holding a gun to their heads there is nothing I can do, it
is far too late in the day for referrals at this point and that this
is the best GP I have had out of a couple of dozen. In other words if
you think this one is bad then consider that I claim the previous
ones were far, far worse than this one then what were they like? How
bad were they?!
So
then … let us just clear that up …
I
have had the high readings and now I finally have the low readings of my blood pressure and these have been handed in to my GP and in all honesty I expected
a phone-call but never got one. I expected to be told to pick up a
prescription for a better drug that is not scraping the barrel and
dangerous to me as the NHS so often love to do to patients of late while
awarding themselves salaries of several hundred thousand pounds a
year or more.
Nothing.
My
friend just tuts and rolls his eyes and I explain that I am used to
all this by now, I cannot force people to do things and that the fact
that they are does not matter anyway as I always expect this now.
I
do blog about it too, it plays right into into my predictions, theories plans anyway so
why would I complain? The last complaint is two years ago and the PHSO still have not done anything about it and still not asked for the evidence. Umm or they did and did nothing about it and now ant me to fill in the correct form and I keep forgetting! FIBROFOG, which they are well aware of and playing towards! Lol!
In
fact my blood pressure readings it doa lot more than that which it appears on first impressions.
So
let us do another check then?
The
high readings mean I should not get stressed out over things so...
DO
NOT leave me waiting,
dont say your going to do things and then not do them and especially
with effing lame excuses when mine has a death possibility attached
to it …
DO
NOT do this especially
if I am waiting to eat as this I now realise will cause me to fall
unconscious if I am not careful and I remind once again I DO have Fibrofog!
DO
NOT do this under lame
excuses from spouses who are clearly insecure and rude and selfish by proxy
DO
NOT argue with me about
my situations in something you have had no knowledge of, experience in
nor worked in when I tell you what is happening in my life
DO
NOT repeat yourself to
me with the same things I have heard half a dozen times previously over and over again
DO
NOT leave me in the dark
over something which is close to my heart … err because it can
damage my heart ... and other things besides! LOL!
DO
NOT think you have the
upper hand, are a step ahead of me or think you have me on the ropes because I am not in your face over something, this is when I am most dangerous
Do
you feel me?
If
you do not get it then please refer to the video below for
confirmation on what I have now explained and the high and low readings of which I guarantee you have been both higher and lower than those provided.
Anyone
getting the impression I am trying to get messages across to people
who still feel like they have the upper hand or higher knowledge in a
master plan that is as intricate as an Orb Web Spider's ... umm web?
Why
would anyone plan or argue in a situation like that?
I
do know why but it is something I will get to at a later date … not too
far in the future but at a later date of this I assure you.
My
GP knows about the legal case and was of the belief that it was this
that was raising my blood pressure to high levels and was extremely
worried about them and that was prior to discovering it was also dropping
far too low.
I
laughed and said there was no way it was effecting me and nor did I
suffer from what the call the 'White Coat Effect'. The very idea is
laughable. To me anyway.
However
it is effecting me now.
Because
of people in two far away locations and possibly several others.
The case that is.
But
this is only because said case has an unusual effect on others. So
any pressure, worry, strain, panic or depressing situations will come
from both sides. But the stress and pressure from one side is
supposed to be something very different. Very different indeed. More
of that later on in another post.
However...I
do have suspicions that the pressure may be brought about by … let
us say interference from other ... factions. Same old, same old.
My
grandmother died because of a public service and my father died
because of another large corporation. Something I would have loved to
have both proved and fought at the time both death took place.
Reminds
me of one of the oldest sayings in the book … 'better
late than never'.
There was always and still is that the possibility that the same thing, well ... slightly differently, could happen
to me and very possibly quite directly too? I mean 'intentionally'. You can never be too
careful especially when you have pissed off 90% of the public
services and have evidence on most of that same percentage.
I have instilled living fear into a very large list of vastly over
paid people that can very really lose both their large salaries and even
their liberty.
What I have is not confined to that large percentage of public services either and
several private companies are in my hit list.
With every week that goes by more and more opf these organisations and companies become aware of said
danger I pose to them.
There are … places were it would be extremely easy to manipulate
the scenario too. Except that I had long figured this may turn out to be the
case. There are different ways this could be done too.
My phone has been blocking calls, texts and even notifications on
Android for several days at a time and then I get a flood of them all
at once. Absolutely no exaggeration there at all. Oddly I have now
been informed that this is also happening to my 'partner in crime'
who is over 200 miles away.
I have never ad this happen before in all the years I have used
mobiles and that period runs well over a decade now and I have several people
that will testify that eight weeks back it suddenly became impossible
to reach me by phone.
I always answer my phone. Well my mobile, not my Virgin land-line which still rings despite the fact no one I know is using it to call me, lol.
This 'disconnection' could be someone meddling to try and cause friction between
potential callers and me or it may just be that EE have an absolutely
shite telecommunication service? Or at least far more
shite then I thought! Well I say 'EE' but it is
actually Virgin Media once again but they use EE's network for their
mobile service.
Well … Virgin Media's land-line broadband, land-line phone service,
computer network and customer services are all really, really shite
so maybe it is just them?
The point I am making is that I cannot and do not know for sure.
Until you know anything for certain then all possibilities remain as
exactly that … possibilities!
So I held back. I waited to see if there were any signs that someone was ... meddling. Waited to see
if the irritable things would start mounting up and increasing in
frequency?
Well I have had a week of very irritable things and it is staggering
how many there have been and then today there were a whole weeks
worth, it seemed, in just one day?!
However not all these are connected. Some are just plain freaky bad
luck that just so happens to take place when several other possible
connected ones are all occurring.
So yes an unusually high amount and a slow but gradual build up.
Fibrofog is a bloody difficult and frustrating thing to live with …
oooh did I forget to point that out? Lol. Yeah every day is stressful
to me because of the Fibrofog, six pains in my feet, back hurting
most days, knee that can go at any moment along with the pain in my
ankles caused by Achilles tendinitis.
Plus my life is fucking boring. Oh and the frozen shoulder and that
is without listing several other symptoms that are stressful due to
being embarrassing.
I wont mention the heartburn via the Hiatus Hernia or the
Oesophagitis. Oh … I just did. Well not in detail then!
Remember I live alone. Partly because I have forced myself too and
sacrificed a great deal for so very long a time.
So I can do without know it alls that know nothing along with lazy
people or people who just like to complain all the time or unreliable
people that state they do something not once but several times over
and fail to do them.
This annoys me because I have all the excuses and I never need to use
them … until someone ignores my long list of symptoms and expects
me to do something that to me these days appears super-human. There
are only so many super-human things I can do. Never the ones that
they want me to do, that is for certain!
So the pressure, the expectations and everything else I have
mentioned are supposed to stop. Except that they haven't. Ignorance over more lame excuses I get fed up with hearing. Funny as I am told people are fed up with hearing things that are always major but I get to hear things several times over that are trivial or could have been very easily avoided.
People end up in bottomless pits of their own creation but it is always someone else's fault. If said pit is bottomless ... then do not fucking jump in!
I know that much of the frustration I am getting is because many are
hoping and praying that things turn out the way that they want them
to. The way that they expected them too. I will get to that at a much
later date too.
Now at the precipice of my own creation I am watching and listening to people doing
cartwheels and loudly preaching their expectations on my situations at a time I
thought it would now surely end? But no. The protestations just get louder, they get more
unreliable, more insistent or anything else that is possible in these
situations.
Good grief I finally know how Charlie Brown feels! LMAO!
What are you supposed to do in these situations with people like
this?
I do not like using my ailments to put pressure on people in an attempt to wake up but they are so insistent and so sure they are right
every single time, even when they have been proved wrong every single
time.
My old mate Old Ken would be shaking his head that even after all that I have
done in the last 5 years that the people around me behave the way
that they do. Especially when now and for very serious health reasons
they should not be doing this anyway!
He would say something like "they cannot possibly know and have never done this, why are they arguing and telling you how it is in a situation you have worked towards for 20 years?" then preach and pressure me about attempting to be a Radio DJ and was sure I would get hundreds of thousands of listeners in no time at all. No, Ken! Lol.
Remember this is not their field they are arguing about and have never done anything even remotely close to this before but is something I have worked in and so have some
experience and this is something that I had not only devised but spent most
of my adult life working towards.
But this accounts for nothing when people with absolutely no
experience of this whatsoever want to insist fully upon their
opinions of what they think is really going on. *SIGH*
The darkness and Fibrofog I find myself in because of health and
because of one particular individual is not helping matters either
and has not now for some time.
If I try to amend the situation … try to insist on the situation or
point out the flaws in their statements then the vicious circle will
be complete once again for the umpteenth time.
I will be a 'twat', it will all be my fault and I will be accused of
thinking I know everything and history will repeat itself all over again.
Once again up goes the blood pressure.
Well ... except it wont. History will no repeat itself again.Because my plans are intricate and always have been ...
I have held back on many things ...
There are a number of actions I could make tomorrow. I could have taken these avenues weeks ago ... no months ago! I have not acted upon these possibilities during the entire duration of these blogs.
If the situation I am in looks like a repeat of history then I will have to take these avenues for I was left with no choice. One of them I would have taken anyway on about a month's time. But for a very long time I have been working hard to build up a proverbial log pile under it's arse so that when the time comes to ignite the pile it will rocket skywards in the shortest time possible.
Well that is one of ... umm ... let me fink?! I think there are three possibilities? Hmm possibly four? Hard to see until I try to put those plans into action.
Oddly these would be easier to do if I remained in London anyway, lol. Well ... if they built up any steam that is.
You ever wanted a good definition of a Catch 22 situation? I just
gave you half a dozen intertwined ones!
