I told my eldest
grandson that there was day I was dreading. It was the same day and
two days ago now.
It was the last day the
children were at school, although one of them is only in nursery and
not been in a couple of weeks.
I have seen a
deterioration since I have been here.
I have been expecting
blow up of sorts and half expected to be rushed to hospital myself ..
if I go between the 28th December and the 7th
January without being rushed into hospital, appointment on the 4th
January 2018 .. it will be nothing short of surprising.
I said there was a lack
of help that I did not expect when I got here. Well it now appears to
be worse that I thought.
The claims that the
locals all help each other out around here are proving not to be the
case, even the ones your related to.
A home move is supposed
to take place in the coming days along with Christmas and a while
bunch of hospital and Doctors appointments.
I have to take pills
that stop complications that can have the effect of deterioration of
my health and even premature death, though the latter I would welcome
without pain. I have not only been missing those but have not gotten
to the Doctors to have my blood pressure pills upped as ordered by
the hospital .. that was only from the initial appointment out of
four. Providing they do not add more appointments.
Well .. I have been ill
too with this flu, though now my daughter has read about it in the
Liverpool Echo local newspaper and the word is that it is the
original 'Aussie Flu' I read about. I still bloody have it.
I also had not had a
bath or shower in well over a week!! Might have been two with my
short term memory problems? Things are just so hectic and with my
memory problems and being stuck somewhere other than my flat where
all my bath stuff and clothes are. I begs belief, even from me.
Each and every bloody
time I end up not doing hat I need to do and because of three out of
the four children.
Two autistic one and
then a badly behaved and very loud, not to forget lying and crafty
one, that drive you to distraction. And then some.
Yesterday was a chance
to escape some of this with a family meal, though technically not my
family, and some friends. I spent a few visit outside having a
cigarette I so wish I could stop doing, dropping hints about the
move. Nothing.
The two people I was
look forward to seeing again, Alan and Linda, were not in attendance
either.
Of course the older
Autistic one did not sit still, complained about everything and as er
usual was beaten by, not her younger Autistic sister, needy-boy. Just
counting. Seven adults .. seven adults were in attendance and every
single one of them told needy-boy to stop running around. I will let
you take a guess as to whether he took any notice of anyone as all
seven adults had told him this with many more than once. He was also
the loudest and complaining that his food had not come yet! In an
effing restaurant!
Older autistic one ea
asked what she wanted for dinner .. “Ice cream!” Noo .. that is
later .. what do you want for dinner?! “ICE CREAM!” and so the
conversation went on.
Dinner arrives that she
has eaten a hundred times and likes, fills the plate with a mountain
of ketchup on her chips and onions rings .. pushes the dish away and
says “Dun like it!!” which I have seen her trick beforehand when
knows or thinks she will get what she originally wanted. Which was
ice cream!
She flipped put upon
returning to the house because she wanted ore ice cream.
Late that night a load
of things were supposed to happen but did not and far too late we
ended up playing Monopoly. Me, yung mum, eldest and needy-boy.
Needy-boy the 5 year old performing because he wants to play Monopoly
.. we ended up cheating and claiming he had to miss throws to speed
things up as it was closing in on 1am. I had toothache I still have
not sorted out yet. I also did not realise it was Friday .. even
while at the family dinner I did not want to attend.
I did manage to have a
shower and change my clothes .. something else that was just
compounding my .. anxiety. As has the car but that is another story.
So it was getting late
and I had this toothache and the one thing that I know is that if I
do not get enough sleep .. I will suffer the following day and I am
already run-down and have been for weeks now but seem to be getting
to a tipping point. So I bailed out of the game which was taking too
long, took some pain-killers and curled up on a sofa in the living
room.
I awoke very early the
next morning feeling .. not quite right and noticed someone was on
the other couch. I did not realise it at the time and assumed it was
my daughter and that need-boy and demanding devil-girl had hogged her
bed yet again. But it turned out to be needy-boy, of course, with the
idea of waking up on the couch making him feel like he is numero uno,
he wants so desperately but cannot ever achieve with two younger and
autistic sisters that are going to only get worse as they get older
and bigger.
If the idea that these
girls will only get worse and that there are two of them is not scary
enough .. the fact that needy-boy will get bigger and more demanding
has you just wanting to drop dead. Or leg it as far away as you can.
We will see.
Suddenly I recall
needing to use the loo .. stood up and almost fell over from nausea
and as I walked cross a living room I had no plans on living in .. I
had to lean against a wall to stop myself from going over altogether.
At some point there
were stomach pains .. like trapped wind stomach pains that were
pretty strong .. then I felt the need to vomit. Then before I knew it
I had been in there for ages, was getting nervous about people waking
up needing the loo at some point and suddenly bad diarrhoea, really
bad diarrhoea.
The oddest thing was I
had also spent an absolute age like I was passing out.
I had my tobacco on me
so in these intermissions before things went bad again I would roll
and then smoke a cigarette. Sometimes I had to place half of one on
the radiator as things had gotten bad before I went into pain again.
I was also still trying not to pass out especially so when I had a
cigarette in my hands.
I had no key and so was
worried about leaving the house in case the kids woke up and got out
.. so that desperation to get to my own flat so I can suffer without
being disturbed had t be quelled.
But after awhile I
could hear the girls, who are shut in their own room for their own
safety and our sanity, who eventually spoke quietly. So I thought mum
was up and in a brief moment I thought I could finally escape the
bathroom, then the house and get back to my flat. But upon coming
down the stairs things were .. too quiet and the living room
deserted. I was all over the place as I realised that everyone was
still in bed .. I stood there momentarily before I then had to rush
back upstairs to the toilet.
Yeah .. wouldn't have
made it to the flat anyway.
Eventually I came out
as everyone got up and though my initial toilet woes seem to be at an
end .. others .. were not. I was still suffering and still trying not
to pass out .. as I rolled a cigarette my daughter had requested and
told her I was going to lie down for a bit on the eldest ones bed.
One look at me and I was promised that the kids would be kept away
from me.
It is 19.51 in the
evening right now and I only found out twenty minutes ago that I was
on the bed for 3 to 4 hours?! 'My bloody God!' I thought as I was
told that.
The problem was that I
was still not in the clear as I came around and was instead woken by
a commotion. An argument was going on between the oldest and his
mother that though I had predicted I did not expect for another 6
months at the very minimum but probably more like a year to 18
months.
The friction and
stresses caused by the other three children, two autistic and one
that thinks he is the centre of the universe stresses out all of us.
Though the cancer
scares are only known and effect two of us.
The domestic violence
seems to four of us like it is over and cannot return so once again
.. that only affects the two of us.
The family that took my
daughter away from me in the beginning? Yeah .. nowhere to be seen
and the council has stated they do not trust one of them anyway. But
then they an hardly talk because neither can they and they are only
saying that because they sided with her, colluded with her and lost.
In court too! Over and over.
The house was a
complete mess .. there was excrement on the walls on the girl's
bedroom, a tussle broke out between the oldest and his mother .. he
had been placed in his room. I had gone downstairs and their was
stuff all over the floor in the living room for the sixth time in 36
hours or so.
My had was still
spinning, I was still nauseous .. I had been really ill, asleep for
an unknown amount of time and wondering why I was not feeling as
right as rain and wondered what the the feck had happened?!
All I could think is ..
'I can't do this!'
I had gone form the
most boring existence on the face of the Earth while still having
problems with health, pain and memory issues but still managing to
try and make something of it. From that I had gone to the most hectic
and one the most disastrous existences on the face of the Earth,
short of a family all being murdered by a jealous and obsessive
husband. Which itself still has it cards on the table.
As of this very moment
a constant screaming can be heard from upstairs which is now a
nightly thing and when I say 'screaming' I really do mean 'SCREAMING'
and last night the mother was finally rewarded after two dozen
refuses with a slap right across her face. The uber has now surpassed
seven and when the door eventually closes you will get 30 minutes of
that being screamed at the door and that will be followed by an hour
of twanging the door handle and kicking the door. There is number
eight. Oops nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve .. see how it goes?
After the eighth time I
actually heard the answer of “Your NOT sleeping in my bed!”
Of course this was
tried and failed. The demands for things just keep coming and as I
stated before the slamming of a heavy chair against the bedroom floor
comes when Cbeebies goes off.
Of course the other
things is that the door is not locked and she does absolutely nothing
that you ask her to .. quite the opposite in fact. Oddly enough her
grandmother did that a lot with me and I told my daughter that when I
remembered one day.
There is
hyperpituitarism in the family too and I wondered if that kind of
behaviour was down to that and that it has been combined with Autism
making it appear to be turbocharged.
She would ask you for
cereal and if there was two it did not matter which one you picked up
.. every single time she would scream 'NO! The OTHER ONE!'
I came back from the
shop earlier and they demanded sweets .. all three of them including
the one that cannot string two words together. They know the words of
the things they like .. or rather .. demand, that is for sure. I had
told them I was not buying them sweets or chocolates as they had been
naughty but would get them a drink .. to which they all said
“ORANGE!”
I was only going out to
get my daughter some pineapple juice because it was suggested to be
mixed with the Midori Melon Liqueur. Well guess what .. no pineapple
juice at all in either large cartons or small ones in either one of
the two local shops. TWO .. local shops! Never been into a shop and
not been able to get pineapple juice .. ever!
But I ended up getting
some Freddo chocolates and went to get orang juice in small cartons
and guess what? Yup .. no orange either! I thought 'this is going to
go well' because I knew that one would play up. The one that has now
stopped her screaming demands about sleeping in her mothers bed after
thirty times ..
.. oh and now the
domestic abuser is on the phone from Walton Prison!
I can see the reactions
of the news media and the nation now when this family comes apart at
the seams or members end up dead one way or another “Oooh what a
shame .. if only someone knew .. someone could have done something
about it .. anything to help!”
Funny .. because I made
sure that they did .. over and over and over again, lol.
It is kind of my very
final social experiment to show that everybody talks bullshit .. well
almost everybody. My estimation would be 99 out of 100.
I need, by my
estimation, a few thousand people to see that which I set up and the
hope is that, or what that, it would be placed around by others.
Help with domestic
abuse do they?
Help vulnerable
children do they?
Help with cancer do
they?
Help with vulnerable
young mothers do they?
Help with Autistic
children do they?!
Do the jobs they are
well paid to do properly do they?!
Like FUCK do they!!
I am still certain that
he got a friend on the outside of prison to sabotage a brand new tyre
.. that has stayed inflated for two weeks, but had which has gone
down once.
My daughtter doubts
these ideas but I said .. “Brand new Pirelli tyres do not fail on a
Land Rover, nor do the replacements decide to lose over 20psi one
minute and then not go down the next!”
There is more to the
car, which I am now considering selling but .. I would be buggered
getting my stuff back to London. Or getting it up from London ..
whichever I end up doing.
But presently .. once
we are into January and if nothing positive starts to change I am
going to have to go back. To London.
I am not Superman, more
is the pity .. and I am helping everyone out, even those that I am
not related to .. and nothing comes back from anywhere of anyone.
The domestic abuser is
on the phone demanding to be told that his soon to be ex-wife loves
him .. another thing that has been doing my head in. After the second
time the Police got involved and there was a break these people have
a system that makes a mockery of British prisons.
Thinhs are not heading
in a good direction and I can tell you that form this the local
councils, Police and .. prison services will all be finshed .. that
is if one or any combination are not already done for as it is?
Because if you have
been coming here long enough I predicted all this five years ago and
I stated very clearly and confidently that is was absolutely
everywhere and I stated to the news media that they only need look at
the Police, local councils, GP Surgeries and Hospitals closest to
them to find the lies, tricks and corruption that are ruining the
lives of those they swore on oath to protect and have gotten pretty
decent salaries for over the years out of everyone's taxes.
I never made that
phone-call about my prescription medication, they knew I had memory
issues, I was not aware that it was Friday and yet I never got a call
back .. did I?!
I guess the GP Surgery
staff and health professionals feel they are more important than
those they are tasked to help? Never looks that way when they appear
on TV does it? Oh they are show how they care and express their
concerns and yet for the first time ever I am without prescription
medication to prevent death or shortening of my life over the
Christmas period!
Effing marvellous.
All because I am doing
all of that others are supposed to be going and are not.
I will like to bet you
that I am the only effing one that moves things to the new house?! I
bet that there are no other friends, family members or authorities
anywhere to be seen?
What annoys me is that
I know that what I have done will be claimed as complacency and
therefore my own fault.
Except I have explained
it over and over and over again on here .. memory issues, pains, skin
conditions, chest issues blood pressure issues, blacking out issues
and many others before going from boring but peaceful to hectic and
an effing war zone!
Everyone I am involved
with is screwing me from behind while everyone y daughter is involved
with is screwing her from behind and no one gives a flying crap .. as
long as they can make it look as if they are 'doing something'.
Well I am here to show
the truth.
Quite unfortunately for
them.
I have not got a long,
long list of conspiracy theories .. I have a long, long list of the
truth and .. something that could be labelled a conspiracy theory
does not mean that it is not true.
I would not be stupid
enough to spend well over five years making such bold and wild claims
on my blogs and across the Internet if there was never a chance they
would ever get proved by either me or someone else.
TV News media excluded
from that last paragraph quite deliberately so.
I have been feeling
better since around 8pm and not as groggy or as nauseous as before
and yet I still have a cough. Still been coughing up yellow, at least
it is not green, crap though.
For weeks I have waited
for a sign or number of signs .. getting my PIP back .. flu to go ..
or crowd funding to at least show that there is someone out there
somewhere with a heart. Even a few off 50p donations woud have given
us both hope .. but we still await anything from any of those things.
Though I have to get
back to my flat to see if there is a letter from the court .. get my
old drivers licence, yeah effing still, and logbook and send them
off.
Still I have a load of
things to do and a lot of it is likely down to this damned Aussie
flu!
