THE GRAND PLANS

My God this turned up at the perfect time?!

I'm referring to a story run by the dreaded BBC about grandparents looking after their grandchildren and running to debts.

Grandparents have ended up looking after their grandchildren for various reasons and have even run up debts of £20,000 on occasions .. maybe a lot more in some cases? I dare say the reasons for grandparents caring for grandchildren are more varied than simply the one I spotted which was the parents were into drugs.

But the fact that grandparents stepped in when others would think that children would simply go into care shows me a fair amount of the state of the UK and it's caring sector. Particularly the care of children but then I have been blogging about that for a very, very long time now.

I could have started my blog several years earlier regarding this subject alone but because .. another subject I was wrapped up in that was .. extremely sensitive .. precarious and potentially fatal for a lot of people I held off. I held off in case I let something slip, my short term memory issues, and it cost lives .. potentially a great many lives. 

Funny then that I am paying for that now from the government, whose job I more or less did for them at the time. While also helping my daughter who was in and out of care. The stories I was hearing about the care for children sent a shiver down my spine that chilled me to my very core.

What in the hell is going on?

Maybe my tales .. no, horror tales have spread further than I thought and people do not trust the public services including the care of children?

Of course since then you have had all these cases people being accused of paedophilia in government, public services, Police, illegal immigrants and a few others besides. Maybe that or both my blog and these reports have scared the hell out of people?

I very nearly posted something this morning very early ..

I awoke feeling about the worst you could ever feel and still be alive .. with a combination of things that combined .. really had me think I would be found dead by my grandchildren.

My latest of three cases of the flu took another turn last night, after feeling somewhat better during the day as I had the day before. Everything seemed to be OK other than a bit of a cough last night, I even got petrified when a very, very old girlfriend suddenly hugged me. A decision she may end up regretting before very long, as I told my daughter this morning.

My head was spinning .. with a headache to kill that was only matched by the pain in my throat which was not good when I was in a state of coughing. It was .. horrendous. Then you throw in anxiety to a high level and my chest issues playing up, pounding palpitations and irregular heart beats.

All I could think of was phoning '111' but that I would end up having an ambulance sent here .. but I had no way of locking the door, probably would not know my way back from any hospital around here as I do not know the area and .. I desperately need a bath or shower. I am going to have to have one here now .. because I cannot see me not winding up in hospital if this continues.

I am also out of pills .. here. I may have some back at my flat I have not been able to get back to because of the chaos, autism, Christmas, short term memory problems, other symptoms, other people's symptoms, cancer scares and other unexpected things. Looking after one child to make getting others to school on time easier. Social Worker visits when they do arrive. Health visitor visits along with family support worker visits.

Trying to think about ringing up and doing a phone consultation but I do not have the paperwork here and have to try an remember to loo on their website.

If I have some nasty strain of the fu .. the NHS Trust here really, really, really do not want me passing this on to anyone. Especially anyone old.

I repeat once again I actually thought I was dying and I kind of wished it would just hurry up and bloody well do it!

In my case it is a little different but with neither of us getting help. I am not getting the help and support that I should be getting, not even close and not even that promised before I came up here. I, or you, do not even get explanations.

My daughter has the same condition as me .. two of four children autistic, one now showing ever more increasing periods of violence and anger. The other only limited to meltdowns but she is only a year behind the other so .. yeah .. we are petrified.

There is supposed to be a family dinner taking place .. in a few days and if I am like this .. I cannot go as my daughter's grandmother will be there who herself is very old. She does not want to contract whatever it is that I have.

Oddly to other family members have turned up at my daughter;s mothers house and .. well .. word got out that I was now .. around. A Yorkshireman I have not seen in over twenty years and barely says anything anyway said out loud "What, MARTIN?!" Lol.

Unfortunately I was given tales of how his wife, my ex's sister. started talking abut her getting rid of her dead beat, drunk and foul mouthed boyfriend and settling down with me. Even her own mother upon hearing one of her daughters state this to my ex said "She is right, you know?!"

Oh my dear God!

In all honesty this has .. probably exacerbated my anxiety and maybe even my chest issues? A lot of things have been said and done over the years, she is really not my type any longer and that may well be because I do not have a type? I have been on my own a very, very long time .. so much so that 99% of women I have ever spoken to have accused me of being a liar when I have told them. It is about 15 years, maybe a little less.

I have stated many, many times over the years how I have been alone a very, very long time. I have also explained that it has been difficult at times because of the loneliness. 

I also explained a great many other things about myself over the years .. some of these I do not give much thought to but might mention? They can sometimes later turn out to .. be something or .. mean something.

For instance .. I have come close to dating but then bailed out for one reason or another before anything has happened and this has happened several times. Even with women much younger than myself and I can think of no less than four off the top of my head .. Maria, Christina, Lauren & Charlotte.

Well I recently published a new list of symptoms for Fibromyalgia which my own daughter discovered on an Australian website, of all places. There was a particular symptom on the list of 279 that caught my eye ..

'Decreased Libido'!

Yeah .. they all missed that too .. just like they failed to mention that the chest pains, heart palpitations and irregular heart beating among other things are down to my Fibromyalgia, as well as warning me what to look for, they missed that too. They all knew I had lived on my own a very long time. I had constantly told them that I started to feel like I needed someone. To check in on me, help me to remember things that are important and keep on top of my pills. Probably other things too.

The BBC Report mentions a couple of charities and I am going to have to contact them, send the a report and give them this blog .. they are .. 

• Family Fund
• Grandparents Plus

Be interesting to see what, if anything, they have to say about this particular situation or the fact that I have become so desperate that I have contacted the Work & Pensions Select Committee who did say they would use my case and Frank Field MP.

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: Grandparents 'run up debts' to care for grandchildren - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-42400070