THE GRAND PLANS

My God this turned up at the perfect time?!

I'm referring to a story run by the dreaded BBC about grandparents looking after their grandchildren and running to debts.

Grandparents have ended up looking after their grandchildren for various reasons and have even run up debts of £20,000 on occasions .. maybe a lot more in some cases? I dare say the reasons for grandparents caring for grandchildren are more varied than simply the one I spotted which was the parents were into drugs.

But the fact that grandparents stepped in when others would think that children would simply go into care shows me a fair amount of the state of the UK and it's caring sector. Particularly the care of children but then I have been blogging about that for a very, very long time now.

I could have started my blog several years earlier regarding this subject alone but because .. another subject I was wrapped up in that was .. extremely sensitive .. precarious and potentially fatal for a lot of people I held off. I held off in case I let something slip, my short term memory issues, and it cost lives .. potentially a great many lives. 

Funny then that I am paying for that now from the government, whose job I more or less did for them at the time. While also helping my daughter who was in and out of care. The stories I was hearing about the care for children sent a shiver down my spine that chilled me to my very core.

What in the hell is going on?

Maybe my tales .. no, horror tales have spread further than I thought and people do not trust the public services including the care of children?

Of course since then you have had all these cases people being accused of paedophilia in government, public services, Police, illegal immigrants and a few others besides. Maybe that or both my blog and these reports have scared the hell out of people?

I very nearly posted something this morning very early ..

I awoke feeling about the worst you could ever feel and still be alive .. with a combination of things that combined .. really had me think I would be found dead by my grandchildren.

My latest of three cases of the flu took another turn last night, after feeling somewhat better during the day as I had the day before. Everything seemed to be OK other than a bit of a cough last night, I even got petrified when a very, very old girlfriend suddenly hugged me. A decision she may end up regretting before very long, as I told my daughter this morning.

My head was spinning .. with a headache to kill that was only matched by the pain in my throat which was not good when I was in a state of coughing. It was .. horrendous. Then you throw in anxiety to a high level and my chest issues playing up, pounding palpitations and irregular heart beats.

All I could think of was phoning '111' but that I would end up having an ambulance sent here .. but I had no way of locking the door, probably would not know my way back from any hospital around here as I do not know the area and .. I desperately need a bath or shower. I am going to have to have one here now .. because I cannot see me not winding up in hospital if this continues.

I am also out of pills .. here. I may have some back at my flat I have not been able to get back to because of the chaos, autism, Christmas, short term memory problems, other symptoms, other people's symptoms, cancer scares and other unexpected things. Looking after one child to make getting others to school on time easier. Social Worker visits when they do arrive. Health visitor visits along with family support worker visits.

Trying to think about ringing up and doing a phone consultation but I do not have the paperwork here and have to try an remember to loo on their website.

If I have some nasty strain of the fu .. the NHS Trust here really, really, really do not want me passing this on to anyone. Especially anyone old.

I repeat once again I actually thought I was dying and I kind of wished it would just hurry up and bloody well do it!

In my case it is a little different but with neither of us getting help. I am not getting the help and support that I should be getting, not even close and not even that promised before I came up here. I, or you, do not even get explanations.

My daughter has the same condition as me .. two of four children autistic, one now showing ever more increasing periods of violence and anger. The other only limited to meltdowns but she is only a year behind the other so .. yeah .. we are petrified.

There is supposed to be a family dinner taking place .. in a few days and if I am like this .. I cannot go as my daughter's grandmother will be there who herself is very old. She does not want to contract whatever it is that I have.

Oddly to other family members have turned up at my daughter;s mothers house and .. well .. word got out that I was now .. around. A Yorkshireman I have not seen in over twenty years and barely says anything anyway said out loud "What, MARTIN?!" Lol.

Unfortunately I was given tales of how his wife, my ex's sister. started talking abut her getting rid of her dead beat, drunk and foul mouthed boyfriend and settling down with me. Even her own mother upon hearing one of her daughters state this to my ex said "She is right, you know?!"

Oh my dear God!

In all honesty this has .. probably exacerbated my anxiety and maybe even my chest issues? A lot of things have been said and done over the years, she is really not my type any longer and that may well be because I do not have a type? I have been on my own a very, very long time .. so much so that 99% of women I have ever spoken to have accused me of being a liar when I have told them. It is about 15 years, maybe a little less.

I have stated many, many times over the years how I have been alone a very, very long time. I have also explained that it has been difficult at times because of the loneliness. 

I also explained a great many other things about myself over the years .. some of these I do not give much thought to but might mention? They can sometimes later turn out to .. be something or .. mean something.

For instance .. I have come close to dating but then bailed out for one reason or another before anything has happened and this has happened several times. Even with women much younger than myself and I can think of no less than four off the top of my head .. Maria, Christina, Lauren & Charlotte.

Well I recently published a new list of symptoms for Fibromyalgia which my own daughter discovered on an Australian website, of all places. There was a particular symptom on the list of 279 that caught my eye ..

'Decreased Libido'!

Yeah .. they all missed that too .. just like they failed to mention that the chest pains, heart palpitations and irregular heart beating among other things are down to my Fibromyalgia, as well as warning me what to look for, they missed that too. They all knew I had lived on my own a very long time. I had constantly told them that I started to feel like I needed someone. To check in on me, help me to remember things that are important and keep on top of my pills. Probably other things too.

The BBC Report mentions a couple of charities and I am going to have to contact them, send the a report and give them this blog .. they are .. 

• Family Fund
• Grandparents Plus

Be interesting to see what, if anything, they have to say about this particular situation or the fact that I have become so desperate that I have contacted the Work & Pensions Select Committee who did say they would use my case and Frank Field MP.

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: Grandparents 'run up debts' to care for grandchildren - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-42400070

MAGIC BEANS

I'm sure that's what the government and everyone in public services thinks everyone has?

Magic Beans.

As it turns out the Doctors at the hospital appointment didn't actually know what the patient was there for!

So they talked about stuff for an hour or so, would you believe?!

Added to this I've been told that a child can't be diagnosed with Autism until they are four years old?!

How the fuck does that work and in cases where it's bloody obvious enough to cause problems what are parents expected to do? How are they supposed to cope?

We have the oldest of those with Autism turning four in February and a younger one who is still only two.

I am disgusted and shocked at this and had no idea things were like this for children.

I think people within the public service just go around with blinkers on?

They must see the world continuing to move on, people walking along still wearing clothes and think they can't need much help, support or money?

It's utter madness and once again I feel ashamed of my own country.

There must be other nations looking at us and either feeling quite sad for people or even laughing? It would not surprise me in the least.

We will have these hidden stashes of magic beans that we can just pour water on and whatever we need magically appears.

I'd actually laugh were out not so bloody sad and shame inducing.

At the hospital appointment the Doctors just don't seem to realise how tough things are.

I got told that at the hospital they had signs to stating that no filming or recording was permitted in the hospital. They had never seen this before. I said "Yeah they've had those up for around four years, it's because of me." They laughed. I told them they I didn't actually give a crap about the signs. I told them I filmed the sign or took a photograph of the sign at Barnet Hospital and published that in this blog four years ago.

Yeah ..

Funny how they do not want anyone recording in hospitals, is it not?

How many hospitals have ended up in the news, either on TV News shows, national or even local tabloids? A lot.

When I first contacted the news media, and believe me I sent a sea of stuff, I told them not to bother looking at the five GP Surgeries, six now and I am on the seventh, or the five hospitals I had experienced failing or lying.

The fact was that the lying was occurring 100% of the time across ten medical centres of one form or another and that I felt absolutely certain, never wrong when I feel this way, that if they visited either their local GP Surgery or nearest hospital the results would be the exact same.

I also highlighted the failures and withdrawal of support for mental health, as this was one of the first to be attacked in a stealth like fashion.

It only took something like seven years, could have been a little less than that, before it hit the headlines in the mainstream news. So judging by that snail like pace that the outdated news actually got to us you may get to hear about the failures I am hearing and reporting now .. around 2022?

Over the last year I have been hearing from and speaking to an ever increasing number of people who have had their lives turned upside down that suffer with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue (God help them) and even Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome about how the DWP are trying, in their own words, to kill them off.

I can tell you that for 8 years it has certainly felt to me as if they just want me to crawl away and die and I saw one poster put that exact same line on a Facebook page for Universal Credit. She also had Fibromyalgia.

It would be far more humane to just supply us with arsenic or a cyanide pill than to do what they are doing. I am most deadly serious about this too.

One of the things that I ask myself a great deal is how my four grandchildren are going to survive in a future that, due to where w are heading, is going to be one of the worst places in the world to live. That is if it is not already?

Lately things have become more .. conflicted .. internally. I still want the pain to all end and I cannot believe this considering how much I panned and spent to .. go it alone, so to speak. I am conflicted because I have a family that need me while I have public services still trying to make my life as miserable as it can be while my symptoms are aggravated beyond the boundary of the ridiculous.

Considering the seriousness of the situation and that it is a family of six this is happening to, with four of those being children, it simply begs belief.

I am living in a failed society waiting to happen. Or worse?

EXPOSING THE DESPICABLE

I never thought things would get anywhere near as bad as they are.

I'm currently in a situation where two members of my own family who are just young children have been diagnosed with Autism. Not one, which was bad enough, but two.

I made a sacrifice, fought and still fighting against my health issues and anxiety to be here and have been here over a month.

The first visit and decision was made around six weeks ago.

It has cost me money I hadn't budgeted for in a time where I was spending a lot of money to effectively start my own business and go self employed which I was then stabbed in the back over by the Job Centre and DWP.

Yet the odd thing is that I've made this move because of my family being stabbed in the back by the NHS, local council and DWP.

I've realised the schools are not too fucking great either, since I've arrived.

I've also been informed that a sufferer of diabetes I know back in London who had already lost one leg had his disability money stopped. Told to me by another diabetes sufferer I know who thought nothing would happen to people with diabetes. Who himself was put out of work over two years ago. 

Who previously was a social worker for 25 odd years.

So even the professionals are being affected now, little by little and one by one. No one will escape this the way it is going.

But it still came as a surprise to read in a BBC News report linked below of Hayley Smallman and the despicable way she is treated over her daughter Holly Smallman.

Holly is afflicted with some complex health issues that are both life-limiting and life-threatening and yet there is no support available out of hours?!

What I find most interesting about the report is that Hayley Smallman states something I have constantly stated for well over five years now ..

"I am not a clinician"

It's staggering that over time we have been expected to be ever better specialists when it comes to health. We should be able to self-diagnose and identify whether what it is that affects us is an emergency or not!

I myself had to self-diagnose after getting fed up of asking a long line of clueless Doctors over a period of 13 plus years what I was afflicted with.

After having my own diagnosis confirmed by Guy's Hospital after some blockades to prevent this diagnosis I then realised symptoms I'd been having over 20 years were down to this Fibromyalgia Syndrome nonsense.

To make things worse my daughter has been having almost all the same symptoms as me even down to the short term memory problems. Yet she has not been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia despite the fact that she has a particularly dangerous symptom that I do not. Well as far as I know. Recurring blood clot in the legs.

In case you were wondering ..

Yup .. two of her children, my grandchildren, are the ones awaiting a diagnosis for Autism we were first told about a couple of months ago.

Added to this I'm expected to find out in a couple of days that I'm being stabbed in the back again ..

Despite me making the sacrifice and far flung relocation while suffering myself to help my family. 

My family the public services have been fucking over for years now.

Even Wirral Council have been sending social workers here but actually do nothing. In fact I'm pretty darn sure that Wirral Council are doing this to look for things. They were previously  chastised over my daughter and, of you look, have been declared as inadequate by Ofsted themselves.

As these bodies are reluctant to give such rulings on the public service they .. watch .. things must have been bad?

Except .. what has happened since they were declared inadequate? Well if anything had happened, of anything had improved then I'm sure the locals would have informed me.

Yet from what I understand many mothers still live in fear of social workers and the council.

So I am now in a family of six and only two of those are not disabled ..

• Me, grandfather .. Fibromylagia with foot pain, short term memory loss, high blood pressure (Hypertension Stage 2), postural hypertension, irregular heart beat, anxiety attacks, back pain, chest pains and many others
• Daughter .. Fibromyalgia is one I now recognise and many symptoms I experience plus a recurring blood clot o her leg
• Two grandchildren out of four to be imminently, at least I hope it is imminent as it has been six weeks or more, diagnosed with Autism .. just an audiology test to do on each

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: 'I'm dealing with life-threatening situations - but I'm not a clinician, I'm a mum' - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-41927703