MAGIC BEANS

I'm sure that's what the government and everyone in public services thinks everyone has?

Magic Beans.

As it turns out the Doctors at the hospital appointment didn't actually know what the patient was there for!

So they talked about stuff for an hour or so, would you believe?!

Added to this I've been told that a child can't be diagnosed with Autism until they are four years old?!

How the fuck does that work and in cases where it's bloody obvious enough to cause problems what are parents expected to do? How are they supposed to cope?

We have the oldest of those with Autism turning four in February and a younger one who is still only two.

I am disgusted and shocked at this and had no idea things were like this for children.

I think people within the public service just go around with blinkers on?

They must see the world continuing to move on, people walking along still wearing clothes and think they can't need much help, support or money?

It's utter madness and once again I feel ashamed of my own country.

There must be other nations looking at us and either feeling quite sad for people or even laughing? It would not surprise me in the least.

We will have these hidden stashes of magic beans that we can just pour water on and whatever we need magically appears.

I'd actually laugh were out not so bloody sad and shame inducing.

At the hospital appointment the Doctors just don't seem to realise how tough things are.

I got told that at the hospital they had signs to stating that no filming or recording was permitted in the hospital. They had never seen this before. I said "Yeah they've had those up for around four years, it's because of me." They laughed. I told them they I didn't actually give a crap about the signs. I told them I filmed the sign or took a photograph of the sign at Barnet Hospital and published that in this blog four years ago.

Yeah ..

Funny how they do not want anyone recording in hospitals, is it not?

How many hospitals have ended up in the news, either on TV News shows, national or even local tabloids? A lot.

When I first contacted the news media, and believe me I sent a sea of stuff, I told them not to bother looking at the five GP Surgeries, six now and I am on the seventh, or the five hospitals I had experienced failing or lying.

The fact was that the lying was occurring 100% of the time across ten medical centres of one form or another and that I felt absolutely certain, never wrong when I feel this way, that if they visited either their local GP Surgery or nearest hospital the results would be the exact same.

I also highlighted the failures and withdrawal of support for mental health, as this was one of the first to be attacked in a stealth like fashion.

It only took something like seven years, could have been a little less than that, before it hit the headlines in the mainstream news. So judging by that snail like pace that the outdated news actually got to us you may get to hear about the failures I am hearing and reporting now .. around 2022?

Over the last year I have been hearing from and speaking to an ever increasing number of people who have had their lives turned upside down that suffer with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue (God help them) and even Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome about how the DWP are trying, in their own words, to kill them off.

I can tell you that for 8 years it has certainly felt to me as if they just want me to crawl away and die and I saw one poster put that exact same line on a Facebook page for Universal Credit. She also had Fibromyalgia.

It would be far more humane to just supply us with arsenic or a cyanide pill than to do what they are doing. I am most deadly serious about this too.

One of the things that I ask myself a great deal is how my four grandchildren are going to survive in a future that, due to where w are heading, is going to be one of the worst places in the world to live. That is if it is not already?

Lately things have become more .. conflicted .. internally. I still want the pain to all end and I cannot believe this considering how much I panned and spent to .. go it alone, so to speak. I am conflicted because I have a family that need me while I have public services still trying to make my life as miserable as it can be while my symptoms are aggravated beyond the boundary of the ridiculous.

Considering the seriousness of the situation and that it is a family of six this is happening to, with four of those being children, it simply begs belief.

I am living in a failed society waiting to happen. Or worse?

THE YEAR OF LIVING FAIRLY DANGEROUSLY

It are now well into the nineteenth month of me posting online, or from the moment I first started to be precise.

This is now 2014 and the month of March and I have a good feeling about this year and with the arrival of warmer weather I feel that feeling will grow as will my confidence throughout this year?!

I am at levels and numbers now that in the beginning I only dreamed of! Oddly I am not at the money receiving amounts I thought I would be at despite taking most of the adverts off my blogs! Still never mind about that! I have reached a few milestones I could and did only dream of for many months before hand. Of course there are several milestones to go but one is fast approaching now and I will mention this when I past that point.

What will happen during 2014 is that the numbers will grow a damn site faster than the did the previous year, which got me to about 80,000 visitors, starting completely from scratch. From that point I already got right up to the 100,000 point despite almost all blogs receiving very little amd some nothing at all in the way of posts and/or media content. From this point on thhis lack of addictional media an posts will change. The numbers visiting each week will change with it and both will now steadily grow!

I stated from the get go that I will achieve what I want but did not know how long this would take. I still do not but if the weekly amounts alter over the next 6 weeks as I think they would I may be able to get an idea by the Autumn time?

Mostly it was all about word of mouth really and to achive this I had to appeal to an extremely broad spectrum of people. I also felt I had to show my human side and appear genuine and to this end I hope that bearing a number of personal things I have and am achieving that. I had to be funny at times along with being philosophical at others and even angry on occasion. Sometimes I would even show the poet hidden within me.

I knew all too well too that many things that I divulged would be hard for many to swallow and I knew that I had to be extremely patient for people to come back and realise that this too was all too real for me. Once this was achieved, or should I say WHEN this is achieved, then those that had learned enough could then show others and these themselves look and read to satisfy their own curiosities and in others cast away all doubts. I knew that this particular goal was likely to take over two years and as many as five, though I was just hazarding guesses at that point.

I was also well aware that some things in the beginning might sound mad and come across as confusing but I was fairly certain that despite how this was taken and as I acquired and revealed more and through my many endeavours all would fall into place. Like a puzzle that takes a bloody long time to solve and there really was no other way.

So I would make a load of rather bizarre and fantastical claims and predictions and thenm just work my way through the next couple of years recording and revealing as I go all that to which I previosuly referred to!

I do like to think that those who are driven enough and love to read who may have taken this blog in its intended entirety would therefore by one hell of a revelation?!

I would like to think that nothing short of wild exclamations were drawn from the lips of those that realised it all. Another thing I would like people to have been asking themselves is just how could it be that so many dreadful things happen to just one person and for such a long time?!

But do not ask me I do not know and as mad as the religious sounded by stating in their typically crazy way that I am some warrior of God I am still trying to find something to knock that one off as the only possibility! I will find out, I just do not really know when but as an atheist myself who does not need a deity of any kind to teach me morals, though some deities only seem to teach death and others greed, I am sure and I very much do want to knock that madcap reason of the top spot!

There is linked that that last paragraph one thing that I have joked about and alluded to throughout the entire life of this blog and despite the fact that I will reveal this insinuation as factual in the coming weeks it still does not explain how all this came to be. I would have to turm to Chinese philosphy on the Yin and Yang basis to come up with that.

Just like my body mirrored that of Bruce Willis' character in the film Unbreakable my bones have never broken, though I do think I finally broke a floating rib saving a younf Wood Pigeon from drowning last year. Samuel L Jackson's clever philosophy was that if he had the weakest bones (brittle bones that exist in one branch of my family) then maybe there was someone with bones that registered and the opposing end of the scale or extreme. Hit badly by a car, skateboarding accidents, cycling accident and falling of the roof of buildings and never a break. I am sure everyone has also met someone who is just plain lucky?! Like no matter what they do they come up on top and smelling of roses with pound notes just radiating from them at all times?!

Well just like the idea Mr Jackson followed in the film I wondered if this could also be applied to people as far as luck is concernened and I wondered if luck could be a quantifiable thing? Whereas spme people never seem to choose wrongly and never put a foot wrong maybe there were those people that never seem to put a foot right?! No matter what they choices they made they always went wrong or were wrong?! So you have the luckiest man alive and also the unluckiest man alive?!

The funny thing is I think I have made it clear that I am intelligent amd yet take into account the results of my choices you could be forgiven to think I was the the polar opposite of intelligent?! Yet I have always managed to give out extremely good and wise advice and yet been utter crap at my own personal choices?!

The Public Offices of the United Kingdom certainly have not helped at all either with their lazy attitude and amoral standpoints!

But what would one do if they found themselves in this situation how would you win when all the choices so far had been wrong??

You creat something where no matter what the choices are always right and even of there had been some wrong ones it will always prove itself the right decision in the end! No outside influences and no one else interacting with the choice and no other brain dead people suddenly thinking they know more than you do without an s ingle shred of evidence to prove that they are?!

I came up with that plan and it was the conceoption of a dozen blogs!! LMAO!!

One dozen blogs and one dozen subjects amd each of them being very different they can all be compared and only one of them needs to achieve a goal and yet having around a dozen back up plans!

Yes they were a means to an end and I could help others in the process but I had to do this for free!

Of course when Google started to tell me that \I could make money from letting them advertise I immediately launched the other blogs thinking that with me working on all of them together they would all grow together.

Of course these would have grown a damn site faster had it not been for my health conditions and maybe at times I was aiming for higher than I could reach mixed up with a little over confidence?! LMAO!

But the idea was that with each and every blog I had the only direction was UP and the only question was how long?!

I did try to find out some simple answers but no one seems willing to help? These Associate Programs and Affiliate Companies are completely unable to tell you anything in the way of numbers you need to reach before getting x, y or z?!

That is total borllacks if you ask me and just another cheating way of getting some free advertising and free brand awareness campaigns on the go?!?!

SO naturally with my suspicious mind normally being bang on the money I removed many of the adverts that were previously on here! Turned out I was adding ever more of them and breaking the rules while I was at it due to some rather incompetent software coding that did not take the most obvious obstacles into account! Bah-humbug!!

I could not tell you at this point how long it has been since I took off the affiliate adverts off but I would hazard a guess that it is way over 6 months?! I would not consider them going back on my blogs either without at least two things, one is that I had been at this two years and the other is that someone somewhere can actually tell me at which point or points that I can expect it to at least pay the minimum monthly amounts?!

Therefore what you can take away from all this is that no matter what I was playing a long game, a very long game! By August, and that is in five months. I would have been working on this for two whole years! Twenty four months!! I also have no idea how many other milestaones I would have passed by the time this comes around or how many others I would have reached by the time the Winter of 2014 comes around?!

The only thing I can tell you for sure right here and right now is that it would be a darn sight higher than it is today! I should also tell you that it should really way over double what it os today! If we take that at the 100,000 mark, which is more or less what it is, then due to the large base I have now 200,000 should be reached a dman sight quicker than the first one did! If I had to hazard a guess here I would state maybe somewhere between June and July. Of course by this time it should be growing at an even greater amount each week than it is currently and therefore 300,000 should come up even quicker than going from the first hundred thousand to the second?!

Now of course there are indeed other factors that will speed this up or even slow it down and that is how much content I manage to acquire. But it there will be a great deal more now that Spring is finally here that much I can tell you. Far more than the last three months!

The annoying part is that I thought with Google now supposed to be paying me, but are not and I cannot get an answer as to why out of them, I would should have been acuiring many more tools and gadgets to acquire ever more content?! Now this or even something else to substitute it may come into play at any point over the next 6 months?!

If this financial input does occur then yes the amount that the visitors increases on a week on week basis will increase dramatically and I will get there a dman site quicker than I am getting there right at this moment.

SO there are a huge number of possibilities and there is another one that I keep considering too which will do something my haphazard writing style so desparately needs! LOL!

Because I am all over the place sop to speak and with the lack of help everything I do online is very haphazard and that includes my writing. I have been waiting a very long time to reach points whereby I can be more relaxed and even more confident than I was previously so that my wiriting can be deeper, far more philosophical and a great deal more polished than it is! There are currently two possibilities for this with another outside chance. Of course there is a list...as always...

1. Google and their Adsense
2. Personal Independent Payments of the DWP
3. Offered a contract (this being very outside chance before Autumn 2014 I think.
4. Some other unforeseen event

Oops and I have just remembered I need to print out that form for the Parliamentary Health Services Ombudsman, quite how I did not see that email they sent me with the form on I do not know?!

Right that should be printing out any minute and I will post it in the morning, if ther are still Saturday collections, or Monday, which will be the 10^th March 2014, just for the record, lol.

I really do not expect anything and never do nor never have with anyone and the point I really realised that I was right and that the Ombudsman really do, do nothing is when the Local Government Ombudsman went all crazy on the phone over what Wirral Council had done to my daughter but then kept claiming they sent off forms for my daughter to fill in and miraculously kept failing to turn up?! That was around two or three years ago now and I then realised that no matter what ombudsman I approached regarding whatever industry they do not do anything at all. Actually the first inkling was the Advertising Standards Authority over Very Catalogue and they all did the same thing, went nuts and then flatlined. Only if yor going to play it like that at least have some kind of intelligence when you do this and have a good excuse and not a very lame and obvious lie! LOL!

Of course all I had to do then is p[resent them with evidence! An ombudsman is an ombudsman, I wnt to get that one in right now. An ombudsman can make a decision and take a view on any given situation. This is not a court case currently and you all know how that part worked out and this is very different so we arew about to witness the other half of the coin and once again with the proof.

Once this has gone the same way as all the others I will then ask the plainly obvious question that they simply fail to see coming! I kinda did ask it when I got frustrated with the legal go betweeny! Luckily I never mentioned it in text as I do like to keep some simple things as a shocking surprise to blow away the enemy lines. All in one fell swoop too!

I would say it is kinda similar to those I had against the energy companies about forcing things on customers by law, umm no and the simple opposition to this is so agonsingly simple along with obvious it is utterly amazing that they have not gotten into trouble for it before now?!

I do like the simplest of overlooked things the most and by a long way too!

Now that I am hurtling towards the second annivesary of my postings online I will be very interested to see how the couple of these very simple andf very obvious but overlooked things will be taken in my the members of the public!

Of course I have alluded to both of these previously and that is something else that is the beauty of doinf things the way that I do. I have to keep my audience on tenderhooks as it is part of the process of making the evil ones look totally incompetent!!

LMAO!!

You see I have always said that I appear and appeal as well as try to help a broad spectrum on here but really I mean that you need to think for a moment. How often had I stated thinsg that are for the eyes of the enemy?!

Were there any parts when you thought of names for me because of something I was posting and failed to realise it was for the benefit of the enemies prying eyes?!

Ergo if an approach was made by any or all of the above in the coming few months whoever wishes to point out their stupidity and how obvious they have been wrong for of they had been watching and prying looking for chinks and weaknesses it would be obvious to all that this had been going on for a long time. I mean to say that the enemies would have to admit that they or their legal teams had been perusing this site for a long time.

So the question will be 'well he has mentioned it enough times, how the hell did you not see it?!'

Yup could be a year for living fairly dangerously?!

HAHAA!

How about some reverse psychology?

The society in this country is in most people's eyes slowly failing!

Now which faction of the UK society wants to take most of the blame for this happening?!

Now I want you the reader to think now for a moment...to which faction do you belong?

Would you want said faction to take the most or all of the blame?!

:)

THE EMPTY SPACES

The headline says that green spaces improve mental health and I could not agree more.

Although I do have to admit to sighing a great deal when I am out and see people that do not appreciate the beauty of the natural world. In more ways than one too!

I know from my own experiences that it is both therapeutic and calming and why I started taking photos of fauna and flora. For this to work for me it has to be more than just a green space and it has to be deserted too. Though I do enjoy bumping into people who are knowledgeable on wildlife and these people are always easily spotted.

This is how my British Wildlife blog as well as my Reptile, Amphibians and Fish blog came into existence, though admittedly I should have really done this several years ago. But then I was preoccupied with dozens of health problems that turned out to be just one. Also many other things were up and down as this blog explains for each and every horrific act of oppression against me as this is how it felt for me as well as how it appeared.

What I had to do to find these places of solitude was to use a Mountain Bike to get find them. There was also something about my cycling I could not understand but discovering may true ailment has made it easily understood. I used to sometimes have nothing in the tank on the cycle home and this would be gruelling and painful. I would arrive home totally exhausted and just putting the bike away seemed to take more energy than I had.

But I did it because most of the time the lack of energy meant I would most likely sleep. For all the pains in all the places in my body it is a close one but .... not sleeping is really bad. Oddly many years ago I could do an allnighter but today, no. I understand that my condition means I very extremely rarely go into a proper deep sleep. Nothing is repairing itself in body and mind and going without any sleep at all in this advanced state of the condition is simply not good.

The next day you are zombified, start wanting to fall asleep which continues all day and everything seems a lot worse to boot. In fact it is the primary thing on my mind most of the time and the one thing I fear above all else. I have often said that my condition is really, really horrid. I have stated that I would not wish this condition on the devil himself. I have often stated that I envied people at times who were missing their legs because I would have no feet, knees or hips. Would not do a great deal for the pains above my waste but I would rid myself of half of them.

Of course the reason this is painted as the picture from hell is because it was created that way because a guy with extremely painful feet, knees, hips, groin, back, shoulders and other things is perfectly OK. Whereas a guy missing his legs is obviously not. That was part of the reason this blog came into existence. My twenty year problem with my daughter and Wirral Council was another. Corruption everywhere else was yet another.

Still not long to go now snd I sm into the final year of the public services fiasco from hell.

Green spaces 'improve mental health' http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25682368

THE BIRTH OF A CHILD IS WHERE IS STARTS

Darkness...and silence.

Together they made the most formidable opponents. Combined together at one moment of my life that brought me to my knees. Never ending silence that together with the darkness would create a powerful team to create helplessness beyond my darkest nightmares. The words within my own head would boom away like a thunderous storm. Pieced together the words created questions I could not possibly know the answers to and yet ask I continued to do.

'Is everything OK? Are they both alright?' Were repeated in my mind through an endless amount of combinations. Like I cloak of morbidity these two entwined to create the one moment of dark helplessness in my life that would sit with me for the longest of times. It is likely the one key moment that changed my path that would endure unto today and create the person this blog speaks of.

The things that I do. The things I have done. The things I will do but yet to achieve. Everything that defines me comes right back to this moment. This room. This enveloping darkness and unnerving silence...and the questions. Ooh the questions. That was the day I discovered the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness and the disastrous effect they had in just a short period of time. It was luck that would smile upon me that day. It was luck that meant that these feelings were to be only endured for mere minutes that would feel like hours.

Still the silence endured. The darkness enveloped. My head in my hands and my mind like that of a spinning, angry F5 tornado where instead of the flashing images of large objects that tornado spins about its vortex mine were images of memories and the darkest visions of the immediate future. Where and for why oh why do the dark images come? Self protection to ready and therefore steady my mind for the worst of possibilities? Likely the case but it made not the task any easier to endure and continue it did until a sound I now know to measure 100dB broke that silence.

The crying of a baby.

For where was I at this moment? The darkest corner of a deserted maternity ward with no lights on anywhere. Alone. To face my fears. That was a defining string of moments I would never forget. The cry seemingly familiar and my mind knew that it was that of my daughter and that she was OK. Suddenly my mind took control of my body and I stood. My legs would then spark into life as they ever so slowly propelled me forwards. Following the cries I walked into a room with a new born child being held. The child was a girl and she briefly opened her eyes and glimpsed at me and the words 'yes look at, Daddy' filled the room.

After a complication that led to a lot of concerned looks and a cesarean section I was put into a dark empty ward for the birth of my daughter and those moments have stayed with me ever since.

Nor have they ever been repeated.

I had emerged from the darkest corners thinking that lady luck was with me that day. I thought myself smiled upon from the Gods above that those feelings were not to endure for a moment longer than they had. The three of had been gifted and no moment would ever come to be anywhere near close to those darkest moments.

A defining moment it may well be and of course it also qualifies as to where it all began, where it all started, so to speak. But I could not be more wrong. Oh so very wrong I was. As this blog explains I was pushed to much darker corners than this and for far longer a period to endure. Many mere mortals could not survive as I had done and many have taken there lives before half the period was complete. Many lost their minds too along the way and still exist battling with mental health issues.

No I am not unaffected by it all, none could be. But I do survive with the least amount of effect possible for a mere mortal that possess empathy of any level. A victim of an unjust and unfair system that cared not for justice or truth. I emerged unscathed. It would change me in ways that were quite unimaginable because I CHOSE to use it to make me stronger, smarter and harder than anything that had gone before.

'A moaner' was what I was referred to recently. I can understand that. But it be wrong. The anger, the dark feelings, the sorrow and the despair must be felt for it must be shown. Only the conveying of such darkness and one understand what may lay in store for him, her or their loved ones.

But I control my anger and allow it to boil when I need it and receded away when I do not. This is what makes me different. This is why I could not hurt anyone and the very reason that despite immediate frustration I do refer that my enemies make bold their claims about me.

I am underestimated. It was always my intention to be underestimated. Indeed my very victory with each rests on the intention of being underestimated. They must think they have the upper hand. They must think they are in control. They must think me a nobody and therefore of no concern or threat. This makes my job all the easier as time passes by. The longer they continue with their false impression of the realities of the situation the more I was handed the upper-hand.

It was indeed these things that made me who I am today.

The unfair system and the darkness along with the corners, silence and utter despair to the borders of insanity and death is where it can push you. These are the places I have been. My job and goal was to convey what I see and what I have felt to one and all. To appeal to those with any empathy to see what is true and what is right. Only when you have completed the picture and therefore the puzzle can a society move onwards and upwards unto the next level.

We are but held back. From a greedy few with no care nor regards and without true ambition. They do not stare at the stars with wonder and simply look at masses with oppression in their minds. I long for the day that these dark figures can be cast out of the societys that they continue to ruin.

It is these things I am aware and those experienced that makes me so very dangerous to those that would be the cause of such immoral actions towards their fellow man, while thinking themselves are belonging to some imaginary higher calling of beings, of which they are not. Not any higher than that of mere insects and crustaceans that crawl and scurry beneath a large rock or trunk of a tree. Because they cannot and do not resist that most ancient of desires for they link to the mind and the brain of an ancient instinct and therefore animal. They regress to the basic wants and desires of a time long since forgotten. But they are self convinced that this is the way it needs to be. The Earth will indeed stopping spinning on it's axis if it were any different.

Nowhere you look is any different. Almost all succumb to the ancient calling. As a result many suffer greatly. Allowed to go unpunished by groups still striving to not give in to these ancient desires. But this very resistance of the primary act of evil allows that evil to thrive.

Emerge I did from the darkest of corners. Here I am. Here I stay and I have no intention of being anywhere else...until my job is done.

Bring it on.