It is difficult to stay
positive about anything. I know this better than most .. well most
that are living at any rate.
When I set up the two
crowd funding sites, long story, the person I did it for turned to me
after a couple if days and said “I don't think they are going to
work”.
What spurred me into
doing it at the time was the change in her attitude that after
thinking she would get some help form the authorities because of all
their mistakes that suddenly there would be none. I had also been
hearing this from others as well as being informed that the
authorities do not do any of the things they used to do years before.
I was confident they would do their duties as that was how it came
across. But then I started to get concerned.
I am not only amazed
that there has not been a serious incident to one of the children's
safety in this house but amazed that this has not been picked up on
by visitors. Well not the social workers or victim support.
I have also been amazed
that they have not seen nor aired the issues we would face if things
remained the same in this house. Instead we have heard this from
others and I am afraid it begs the age old question ..
What is the point in
these people and their wages, whether it be from our taxes or some
naïve person's donations?
Other
social workers I know, a social worker of 25 years, and a disability
solicitor for Mary Ward Legal back in Camden in London along with an
Internal Investigator for William Hill with a child of her own and a
list of others have all been shocked at both the amount of things
that have occurred with all of us as well as the lack of help.
Yesterday
the young mum ws at another hospital visit which I thought was about
the previous biopsy. I had been looking after two of the children,
with Autism, and during that time I had been called by the
aforementioned social worker I know and the disability solicitor.
After hearing what they had to say ad then them hearing their shock
at the latest events I told them that the young mum was in hospital.
After coming off the phone there was a knock t the door and I assumed
it was the young mum. I had been dreading what she had t tell me
because she attended a hospital that I was told doubled up as a
cancer hospital and a hospice. But it was the eldest child returning
from school and that threw me.
His
mother had been taken to hospital by her mother and they should have
returned before the eldest child with his younger brother as they
were in a car. I asked the boy about this and I said I wondered of
his mother's friend was bringing the other brother home? He said that
he had seen her and that she was walking along with her daughter ..
but not with his younger brother. I gave it five minutes and started
to worry.
After
another five minutes I decided to call and it turned out she had
picked up the second boy and had gone off to Asda. She also said they
had to take another biopsy. “Oh OK .. another weeks wait, great!”
I said in response.
I
spent twenty minutes wondering how in the hell they took a biopsy
previously and gotten it wrong? 'What the hell?!' I kept thinking.
Also I knew that a breast scan was due any day so we would be having
to wait for two results, possibly, and that did not include whatever
they are goig to do about a third lump. Though there might already be
some answers to some of this.
As
it turned out that appointment was the
breast scan .. so they had to take another biopsy from that too! The
young mum of 24 had gotten the days mixed up and so had I as a
result.
While
she was out at this appointment I had been trying to work on things,
write some blogs, look up what I hd done thus far with the crowd
funding and check my Patreon account and ask myself why the mum had
been so negative about it.
Because
I had been negative about so much in the past and like my sister
stated to me a few times “How many times has someone in our family
tried to do something and it has not worked out?!” A lot is the
answer to that one.
But
you have to keep trying no matter what because if you do not keep
trying different things then you might s well give and go home. Some
do and this unfortunately ends up as suicide and this is how it has
been for me. Until I win or .. give in with the ultimate of
consequences I do not know what else to do. Even when it often feels
like it is slowly killing me.
I
long to return to London .. even for just a couple of days and even
with half or most of that driving because it would give me a break. I
do have thing that require me being in London because it is costing
me money, like belongings in storage. I tried to hold onto too much
stuff, did not know it would take me so long to get back. Did not
know that nothing would come into the fact I had £35,000 inheritance
stolen from me, was not informed. I did not know that the extra
£4,000 payment would only be £800. I did not know that I would not
get my £750 back from my previous landlord and without reason and
after I turfed the front garden for them before I left. I did not
know finances here were so bad. I had no idea I would spend as much
as I have, even buying a car that has now gone. I did not know that
the authorities would not be supporting the family as they should. I
did not know she would not be getting the extra money you sued to
get, despite three with disabilities and I did not know they refuse
to recognise a disability until they are four years old. Oh and I did
not know about the massive fuck up, or corruption, take your pick,
that is the HMRC over claiming back thousands of pounds of single
mothers they have no right too.
Of
course I never thought about bedroom tax, the DWP tricks and lies I
know about only too well and the feck up they have done to the
welfare system and of course Universal Credit.
I
never expected them to stab me in the back .. just prior to moving
250 miles away to a place I do not like to help a 24 year old mother
with two Autistic children and two other children that they are not
fecking helping either.
So
yeah .. that is just the very short version of one of the biggest
horror stories that is ongoing in the UK and we have absolutely no
clue to the outcome.
We
are unduring a living nightmare that may have the ultimate
consequences and no one gives a shit.
So
why would this 24 year old other of four, with two Autistic, herself
with one disability they do nothing about or for and three cancer
scares that have just endured months of domestic abuse and stalking
from the perpetrator from a prison cell? Why not, indeed.
So
I was looking around at the crowd funding sites and my blogs when I
realised that the GoFundMe and JustGiving sites were either not
showing, not working or I had not included them on some blogs
completely?! Dumb-arse!
So
last night after a day of some positives and a few negatives I
decided to mess around with the layouts of the blogs I had.
I
then bloody realised something else .. there was no bloody adverts
showing up on my blogs .. or at least some of them. I have one were I
have never been able to figure out how to put the same Adsense ads
onto my WordPress blog too. Had totally forgotten about that over the
years. No wonder I was still waiting for my first payment five months
after expecting it.
These
bloody blog hosts have a lot to answer for, Google and Blogger more
than anyone! I sent them feedback ripping them a new one over it!
I
could not even get the Adsense widgets to appear on the layout screen
and though I did not get it right .. I did eventually manage to get
advert to show up again.
My
earnings had hit £46 something like a year ago but .. then nothing
much happened and it has only gone up by a single pound after that
and I could not figure out why this was? It simply made no sense.
Anyway
I think I have partially corrected this .. demanded answers of the
God-complex staff at Blogger and fixed the links to the Crowd Funding
sites.
There
was some talk about an ad blocker or something I remember reading
about some time ago. I wondered whether I was a victim of all this
fake news borllacks and wondered of the BBC had once again stuck the
knife into my family?
Of
course it could be someone else sticking the knife in and the numbers
produced from two identical blogs hosted by different people ..
simply make no sense whatsoever.
Still
I think I have corrected the adverts in part at least .. fixed the
links to the crowd funding sites as well as the links to my Patreon
account.
Have
to look up 'teams' to which they keep mentioning on one of the crowd
funding sites, I think it was JustGiving as opposed to GoFundMe?
Don't know how that works.
I
just hope that something happens that gets rid of the negativity that
I hide and this young mother shows.
Even
if it only a small start .. just to show her, ahem and me too really,
that there are caring people out there and they are not all amoral.
The Crowd Funding and Patreon links are on the top right, or atop the side banner .. her first as this is primary to me and mine below, lol.
