THE LOW POINTS

Oh the feeling of .. betrayal.

Still working and cross-referencing data to do with Behcet's Disease, still cannot get over that .. recent discovery, and what I now know to be called Hypomagnesemia.

It is shocking revelation that I have catalogued on this blog each and every visit I have had to Accident & Emergency and it must be stressed that I have never .. ever rang '999'. Ever! Each of these hospital visits, or the ones that I recall anyway, have been for two things .. anxiety attacks to the point of suicidal thoughts or self-harming or heart palpitations along with chest tightness and shortness of breath. These are catalogued and go back a few years. They go back way, way over a year just for the heart palpitations alone. In one visit to North Middlesex Hospital one chap was quite concerned about these palpitations and as I have stated before and at the time .. concerned about how long they endured. Several hours until I went to sleep was what I had told him at the time. They did a barrage of tests but found nothing. Oddly I never EVER recall having any blood taken at all. More about why I mentioned that in a moment.

Right before I was being forced to move 250 miles away they then decided, after my third or so visit, that this should be looked into. I asked the Doctor at the time if he was joking and he asked why I had said this. “I have had this for over a year, been in here three times over it and now I am about to move 250 miles away and now you decide this needs to be looked into?!” SIGH

I move north.

I then finally get around to registering with a Doctor which took me a long time because there was a lot going on .. domestic violence, four grandchildren, two cases of autism, harassment from prison, murder, cervical cancer, falsification of medical records, theft and lies.

I get what they called a 'Rapid..' umm .. something. A quick .. appointment as this is my heart and probably because they think they might have missed something and that I might die? They did and they carried on missing it and .. I am not dead yet. Though it has felt at times like I am about to and did this very day .. while buying nail clippers of all things?!

Well .. in fact they missed not one but two things!

This is after ignoring the fact that I had Fibromyalgia after an unknown period of time where they quite obviously missed that too! Could have ignored it through embarrassment or fear of being prosecuted legally? Could have just done this to save money. But I started pressurising them about this around the year 2001. That was after my first twinge of pain in one of my feet which became permanent and I had had for several months. I got all kinds of diagnosis, none of which I agreed with and I proved them all wrong. Tenosynovitis was one. Plantar fasciitis was another and there have been others.

To be fair one of my several issues with my feet is very much like Planter fasciitis .. except in reverse! You see with the aforementioned issue it is stiff and painful in the morning but gets better throughout the day the more you use your feet. Then the next morning back to square one.

After discovering and self diagnosing Fibromyalgia, after wrongly self diagnosing Charcot Marie Tooth Syndrome, I understood the issue to be a lack of sleep problem. To be precise a lack of restorative sleep. Now I am not so sure any more.

Now to me the foot pain was just another in a long line of symptoms that had been popping up over the previous twelve years and I was certain that no one could possibly have this many symptoms and that most, if not all of them, must be linked. But I was told this was not possible.

Now my previous symptoms had just been a collection of highly annoying to highly embarrassing things. Tiredness, skin conditions and clicking ankle joints I had always called Achilles Tendinitis because that was the closest I could find to what I was experiencing. There were other things besides but I am not going to try and remember everything.

As previously stated a previous GP stated one day that he thought I might be suffering from low magnesium when I had complained about my legs aching really badly. From waking up in the morning I was constantly rubbing both my thighs all day and night.

At his request I bought vitamin pills containing magnesium and this worked, to my surprise.

That was the end of that and I continued to buy these pills and take them daily for the next three years or so. Only .. I only discovered recently that a whole raft of really nasty symptoms I have are also down to this damned deficiency. I also discovered it can kill you in a number of ways.

Now I know this is called Hypomagnesemia.

It explains a lot of the more recent, well up to ten years or so, symptoms I have had.

I have no GP to go and discuss this with.

Very literally twenty four or forty eight hours later my daughter is diagnosed with Behcet's Disease and this comes from me pressurising her for six months because she has what I have. I assume they are going to confirm Fibromyalgia. Though despite claiming to refer her in October or November 2017 no letter ever arrives. This comes about because of a series of different pains and one so painful she cannot walk. They still bloody well missed it on the first visit but on the second ..

'Oh you have Behcet's Disease' is what they told my daughter.

I had never .. ever .. heard of this before. So I looked it up.

I then read this webpage regarding this Behcet's Disease and I am stunned to find it lists almost all my remaining symptoms that have mostly dogged me for twenty five years plus.

I then assume that this must come from Fibromyalgia only to cross-reference a few things and discover that they claim Fibromyalgia develops in people that suffer with Behcet's Disease. Go figure!

So yeah that is the short version and I am still trying to cross-reference things while I specifically look for any possible issues with magnesium absorption. Because I take magnesium and yet I still have some of the problems. Which suggests to me that there is a problem with the magnesium absorption and as this low magnesium can be immediately fatal in some things or go around the houses to become fatal in others it is best to find out. I would rather die on my terms and have my death mean or count for something, as I am currently trying to achieve, than happen suddenly and amount to nothing at all. That .. really bugs me.

I also do not want to go through a load of suffering over my own death either.

A friend of mine who had been a social worker for twenty five years or more was shocked when I told him. He said that he was aware of what I was telling him and had seen a documentary about Sudden Death Syndrome. He went on to state that some people somewhere working in a forest, do not know if it was Brazil or somewhere, had just died overnight. He stated that when they looked into it it had something to do with Potassium as he recalled and this was linked to low magnesium and that it was a shock to find out I was still having issues, despite the supplements. Oddly I cannot recall what he said when I told him I had been diagnosed with low magnesium three or four years ago? We went a few years without speaking and I think I was diagnosed during the time we were not talking. My short term memory is giving me issues here but I seem to be recalling him, from just earlier today .. umm or yesterday, being shocked at my low magnesium diagnosis. So maybe he did not know? But I have been taking the supplements for so long now that my brain keeps telling me he must have known?!

Anyway he was also shocked when I described Behcet's Disease and not only did he realise it had a list of things that I have suffered with for many, many years but as it turns out so does he. I did read about links to diabetics and he is .. well, diabetic and has been for decades.

I am now expecting him to go away and check this out. He has experienced a particularly nasty symptom that despite me having it .. his was more of a .. sensitive nature. Oddly my daughter has something similar. These are pretty unique things that kind of .. well stand out, so to speak. So he was pretty keen to look into this further for himself.

I am also wondering whether he is going to get back to me at some point and .. go somewhat nuts because it turns out he has had this for years? Because there are some pretty horrible things that it does. We have the same joint issues .. the Achilles Tendinitis I mentioned earlier? He has the exact same issue and has had for years, like me. Funnily enough there was a time when he as absolutely convinced I was diabetic and insisted on doing a blood sugar test on me. I bet him it would come out normal. I won that bet.

I do tend to get things right and had ruled out diabetes years earlier plus .. well I would have thought it would have come up in the blood tests I had, had performed on me in the past. Pretty sure that testing for diabetes is a very common thing for hospitals to do. Miss that if your type one and its curtains my friend. No margin for error and so they do it. If its something there is no fear of you dropping dead from then they tend to ignore you and send you away. If it is something that they could claim at a later date is easily missed or fairly rare then .. yeah .. they will fob you off on that too!

By all accounts Hypomagnesemia is fairly rare and Behcet's Disease is even rarer.

They also cannot claim they did not know about it any more. I have emailed my solicitor along with Healthwatch and in the next few days I will email the NHS and I will email a court that want me to attend a hearing. Plausible denial is no longer an option!

The thing for me is the .. anxiety.

I have told and told and told psychiatrists .. those .. ones that do their job for them whose titles I cannot recall. I have told counsellors in mental health in the likes of both the NHS's IAPT as well as Mind along with every other big name organisation you can think of. You know? All those ones that claim that none of us should ignore mental health any longer? Yeah all those ones. Well I told them that this is chemical. I told them in no uncertain terms that my problem was CHEMICAL! Do you know what they did? Ignored me!

Well now I know that I have Hypomagnesemia and Behcet's Disease so guess what I am in the process of doing?

I can now both show and prove that it is chemical and I also have the medical records to back it up and I cannot get out of it while I am here and .. watch them all ignore me again while they all advertise on TV about how they are not ignoring it any longer. You watch as the government will tell you n the news media how they are not ignoring it any longer and are doing .. umm stuff about it.

But you will watch here as I get worse and I will contact each one in turn and no one anywhere will do anything about it and in the end you will come to a single realisation from all of this ..

.. that no one anywhere does anything about it and it is all bullshit they feed you. So that it looks like they are doing something for your hard earned taxes or your hard earned donations.

It might end up being the very last thing I manage to prove?!

Huh? I had an email to state that I have had three views on my LinkedIn account?!

Hmm? Now as it turns out I have this weird .. connection. Or I am connected to someone else who is connected to someone else who is talking to someone I know ..

.. in fact when I explained this .. connection it blew the mind of the person that I know! LMAO! I am wondering if it is this .. mutual connection? Guess I .. might find out in time.

While in a paused period of typing this out the irritation in and around my right eye went into .. fecking overdrive! I was beside myself last night. I was digging, squeezing and twisting the skin above my right eye and pushing hard into the top of my eye socket in a continuous and vain attempt to stop the irritation. It really is a complete mystery as to why sometimes it becomes more irritable then other times. This was by far the worst period though. Oddly it mostly used to occur at night years ago but now can manifest during the day and just last. It really is the most bizarre feeling.

Of course it now has the added danger I have long since only wondered about the possibility of .. blindness. Yes siree after driving me to the edge of insanity it now appears I could go blind, though judging from what I experience it will only be in one eye? I think. This is because absolutely nothing at all ever occurs with my left eye. Despite the fact that my right eye has been like this about five years. Certainly several years. Hmm .. well it would be listed on this blog .. so I will either have mentioned when it first appeared or I mention it throughout the life of this blog? If the latter is the case then I have experienced this 6 year or more.

It does not bode well when you read that if this condition is not treated it can lead to blindness!

It is also typical that I find myself in this impossible predicament at the worst possible time and, of course, a time when I really do not need any extra pressure.

So I have emailed Healthwatch, I think I mentioned? I will now need to email those I have already emailed and .. explain the new discovery.

I find it odd that as I have revealed the latest revelations regarding the NHS and have noticed a barrage of others around the Internet and that there are three Facebook pages dedicated to the failures of the NHS. Now that all this has occurred a certain royal wedding is being used to praise the institution? Sickening. Seventy years of the NHS and now it has been turned to shit and a highly corrupt organisation. It is no longer an institution and has not been for a long time, despite the bleatings of the blind, naïve, jobsworths, amoral people out for self-preservation and idiots. There are literally thousands, tens of thousands and maybe even hundreds of thousands of cases today that prove that it is consistently failing people and has been for a long time. It has also been killing people for a very long time to.

My daughter said something again to me that she has said twice recently. A friend of hers repeated something she recently said with a bit of added pizazz and a question ..

“Is your Dad coming back?!” and after being told they did not know for sure she went on “You know I thought your dad was crazy .. the things he used to say about the NHS. But he was right .. he was fucking right about everything!” to which her once doubting boyfriend also agreed.

By no stretch of the imagination were my claims, predictions and facts restricted to the NHS so do not under any circumstances think for one moment that my .. machinations are restricted to this one public service. It is all public services.

Indeed there are three that I call the evil trinity. One at the top which lies to protect itself, save otself money and help save two others money. Except one of these two others is technically over one hundred different organisations, or public services. The NHS at the top with the DWP and Local Councils underneath and of course in the case of the latter .. there are countless councils spread right across the country. Or technically .. countries.

Bot now Prince Harry states that the NHS is wonderful so all these thousands, tens of thousands and maybe even hundreds of thousands of claims must all be crap then? Yeaahh .. no one is really dead .. they are all just hiding somewhere? All those others that have suffered unbearably and the NHS treating them like shit and knowingly leaving them to suffer? Naah they are all making it up!

Well it seems that this royal wedding seems to have some controversies of its own to contend with?

I mean .. if those claims that a certain person stated that she wants to be the next Princess Diana are true? Oh .. my .. God. This would not mean anything to me but I am absolutely sure that to a great many people this would be an outrage and there would be an .. outcry. Though I am not entirely sure what they would expect from such an outcry. But you just know sometimes how people would react. Especially when it has anything to do with Princess Diana. Then there are those claims in recent reports about a certain someone being shallow by their own relatives. Now there is some other crap and I did not even bother reading beyond the headline. In fact I am not even sure I finish reading the headlines half the time?

'Oh well this must be true because someone that was deem unfathomably important states it is so'.

Then they expect other mindless fools to just follow suit like a gargantuan herd of sheep.

Sadly .. many do!

Oh another thing I have been experiencing .. in case I forgot this in recent posts, is I am finding touching certain things irritable. Annoyingly this is confined to just two things .. laptop touch-pad and smartphone screen?! Grr! I have even resorted to biting my fingers to try and get rid of the feeling!