A SAINT CALLED ALLNIGHTS: THE MORE THE NOT SO MERRIER

Well this now seems to becoming a .. thing and .. quite frankly .. ridiculous.

Once again I tried to explain what I am about to put here to a self obsessed narcissist that can burn out to wireless land-line phone batteries just talking about non-fatal illnesses that have not even required prescription medication.

Those of you reading this with health conditions will know only too well that there is a point that you cannot go beyond. I have gone beyond this point and many other points for many years. After spending many of the previous years not going beyond the first point at all. Going to a GP even, let alone asking for pills.

In fact when I did register with a GP back in the eighties this was over extreme heartburn I still suffer with today .. something they have gotten wrong .. again .. TWICE. First it was a Hiatus Hernia after my very first endoscopy. Then and many years later after I started vomiting all over the gaff .. this was down to Oesophagitis Grace C. Both were wrong.

Now I have posted and posted and posted repeatedly about the NHS, GPs and hospitals lying and falsifying test results and medical records. There were probably those that thought I talked shite .. their loss I am afraid and I did try. You might be thinking that very thing right now, outside of Jobsworths that is. But I do not say those things lightly or unless I am absolutely sure of myself.

With that being said I simply cannot say whether or not the hiatus hernia diagnosis and the much later oesophagitis diagnosis were just wrong or they actually lied. But there were wrong.

I shall explain.

As I told someone on the phone an hour ago or so .. I realised at one point that after taking lansoprazole for ten years or more that this should have only been taken while the scarring in my oesophagus repaired itself. I certainly went long enough without an incident of heartburn for this to occur.

Now I went to a GP I have talked about a fair bit on here, the most honest of all of them though she did tell one lie and who later announced immediate retirement after stating she was fed up with the NHS to members of staff. Dr Huq of Dr Rooban's Surgery in Carterhatch Lane in Enfield. She admitted many things that the NHS was up to and told me I was right about everything. One time she said that she wanted to talk to me about my lansoprazole prescriptions and I stated “I think I know where you are going to go with this. Are you going to say that I should not be taking it any more because the scarring should have healed up years ago?” she smiled and said “yes”. I told her that I can guarantee her that if I stop taking it I would start getting severe heartburn within 48 hours and she was shocked at this. I could tell from the look on her face she wondered whether this was something else other than that placed on my medical records.

As I explained this on the phone to my daughter I stated that when I found out about Fibromyalgia one of the things it had linked to it was .. heartburn! That kinda blew my mind and one of several Fibromyalgia symptoms I cannot place within the lists of Hypomagnesemia, both my daughter and myself are now diagnosed with, nor Behcet's Disease which is a genetic condition my daughter is now diagnosed with. I also complained, both at the time and now, that I was being discharged without being investigated due to the amount of symptoms I experience. Now I shall remind you of something .. heartburn was one of the first few symptoms I was experiencing and that was around 1987 .. give or take a year or two. Tiredness and skin problems were two others.

I have stated many, many times that my plantar fasciitis type feet pains started around 2001 and from then on in I started to apply more pressure on Doctors. At first I thought they were just being idiots and that after a while they would realise what I was telling them or make a connection themselves and .. voila?! But no. After a few years I started to think that I was being deliberately fobbed off and that maybe if it was something rare and unusual .. exotic, if you prefer, that someone would get interested and I would be referred of somewhere. But no. Then I started to wonder if I was knowingly being fobbed off which would technically mean .. I was being lied to.

What followed was a few years of being very careful how I explained things, listen carefully to what they said to me and try to figure out something I could say that would allow them to fall into a trap. Over the years I did and so did they .. many, many, many times. Sorry.

Yeah so .. I was telling all this to my daughter over the phone .. well some of it. Why? Funny you should ask!

I received a message stating that my daughter had been called into the Doctors Surgery yet again and that they had found .. a couple of things ..

Borderline Right Axis Deviation
Sinus Rhythmn

Huh?

It gets better as I have long said my daughter is almost a carbon copy of me with my symptoms while her mother has nothing .. except for an evil, lying mouth and fingers afflicted with super glue like qualities.

So as I stated for many months I expected a Fibromyalgia diagnosis .. except it went a little .. differently ..

Hypomagnesemia
- I have been diagnosed with for four years
- Which I recently discover is behind a whole list of other symptoms I have had for years both prior and pre diagnosis. They got wrong and then carried on missing
Behcet's Disease
- Daughter was diagnosed with, genetic and explains almost all my symptoms that Hypomagnesemia does not ..
- Right Knee a separate physical problem
- Heartburn EDIT: Is s separate problem
- Tight Chest Skin and Lumps under arms unique to Fibromyalgia as far as I can tell and therefore also a separate problem

But now this new diagnosis my daughter has .. sounds a lot like a few things that were picked up from me after ..

Anxiety Attack where my legs stopped working
Paramedic races round to house
- ECG and other tests done
- Heart Wall Hardening
- Two other things picked up .. one I think may well be the Right Axis Deviation as it sounds very familiar
- The Sinus Rhythm which is to do with .. HEART PALPITATIONS!
- EDIT..
- The loss of use to my legs is not discovered by paramedic
- The loss of the use of my legs was also not discovered by my GP

Today I feel like I am having a heart attack several times each and every day. Well certainly more days than most and I cannot recall a day when I had a day without any heart incidents.

It is not the only symptom I have on a daily basis.

It is not the only thing that can kill me and .. there are several that have no symptoms or warning signs, like Sudden Death Syndrome .. and though being a syndrome is to do with depleted potassium levels that is cause, or can be, by depleted magnesium levels which both my daughter and I have now been diagnosed with.

I had a lady only yesterday speak to me on Facebook and left a request about help and advice as she knows her GP has lied and not full of confidence over their medical records.

Eventually, as I was trying to avoid sounding too negative to an upcoming .. test, I told her about this and what had happened to both me and my daughter. In fact I had not even told her the worst parts of it .. well all the worst and many parts of it and she still reacted in utter shock at the way we had both been treated. And are still being treated,

Yeah for weeks now they have held up their usual hoops of fire to my daughter every few days and she is in a hell of a lot of pain, has four children, one difficult and one a nightmare to deal with and the cervical cancer and other crap.

Oh and when I tried to explain it to the narcissist? Yeah .. no!

As is per usual you get sixty seconds in into breakig and serious news and your interrupted to talk about slight heart palpitations, if it was indeed that at all, from forty years ago. Because that is more important! Despite ..

Never having been dragged to hospital against your will kicking and screaming
Never having even been called in immediately to a GP service over it
It never getting worse over the years
Not having been affected by it for years but .. you get and have to deal with ..

Conversation

“Well that could have been something serious?”
“Umm .. no. It couldn't” where they then make the same mistake they always do with me and ask “Why?”
“Because it was FORTY years ago! Because you was never dragged into Accident & Emergency against your will. Because they never found anything in all the tests. Because you have not been affected by it for years. Because the dangerous reasons do not go away!”
“I am not allowed to talk about anything!”
“Umm .. I believe I started this conversation to tell you about something that is pretty serious that is going on right now and .. kinda NEW?! But no .. you have to start going on about stuff that is irrelevant and forty years ago.”
“Well you could be getting it from me?!”
“Umm .. again .. no! Are you forgetting? I told you for the last three years now it is to do with both Dad and Nan and they both died of heart related problems!”
After having tachycardia and irregular heart beats for two years the narcissistic woman who screams blue fecking murder that no one listens to her and that she is not llowed to talk about anything texts me while I am in my room not ten minutes later and it says the following ..
“Look up tachycardia and irregular heart beats”
Like I said both people I know and people she knows very, very .. VERY literally RUN if they see her while she is out ..
Also do not forget that I am not supposed to have pressure put on me .. try telling her that and her answer, I FECKING GUARANTEE, will be ..
“Well neither am I!” which is her way iof stating this gives her a green light to dominate the conversation and make it about her .. now please, please, please tell me in the comments .. WHY?! LMAO!

Her cousin stopped talking to her years ago being fed up with hearing from her that her kids don't give a shit about her .. one person lost
A social worker friend of hers called Barbara told her “You have a plaster for every sore!” and does not talk to her any more
Upon her friend dying of cancer telling her that she was kept in because on top of the cancer she had tachycardia .. weeks before the dying woman was told .. “Oh I have had that too” before then telling a lengthy story about it to which her friend said
“Is that another one on your list?”

Yeeeah. I did not get to explain it all .. yet again. Sometimes I have not bothered telling her things for weeks. Weeks and weeks because it is just a waste of time.

But it is not her fault .. it is the rest of the world that is to blame and the lengths she will go to to get .. umm what is the word .. not justification, though I suppose that will do.

She has made things up that a counsellor has said to her when the things she claims were said no self-respecting mental health professional would utter. Not even close. Like it is everyone else's fault and not hers? Lol! Yeah you better believe it.

Or a GP letter that proves she has epilepsy I have never seen when it only states 'suspected epilepsy' which is not even what they used to call 'Grand Mal' and now she thinks it is NEADS anyway?!

Good God man .. with everything else I do not know how I survive this which is something said to me by two siblings, one friend who was a social worker for years and one of three people I know run from her. Oh and my daughter who actually said at one point “Why does she do this? Why does she make everything about her? Dad, it sounds lie she is deliberately trying to kill you?!” where I joked that she probably is so that she can then use this to go and get attention from everyone else.

Good luck to her if they ever find my dead body and it was obvious she was doing my head in .. sorry .. talking to me in which case everyone that knows her will realise she was doing my head in and therefore responsible for my death. Yeah .. I bet she has never thought about that prospect? Oh dear God, yes I would love to point that out to her with the hope that she will shut the fuck up in future and stop doing what she is doing. But it has never happened before, many of us think she has a very serious problem and all agreed that it has a detrimental, not to mention 'mental', affect on us all and also think she will never change.

I told my daughter that I would dearly love, sometimes, to put her in a straight-jacket and put a note on her forehead saying .. please put me in a psychiatric hospital and do the job you should have done fucking years ago and do not let me out until you do because I have had a terrible effect on other people's lives that I normally tell absolutely everyone I meet I actually care about and have helped them out no end for years .. only the opposite is actually true! Sharp intake of breath

Facepalm

Oh God.

Someone .. please .. kill me!

The only peace I will ever get is when I am dead. Or so it would seem.

Oh now I can hear her getting annoyed as she is going on about something to someone else and she cannot have a conversation with absolutely anyone without that happening. Ever. But it is everyone else's fault.

She cannot explain things if her life depended on it. Also cannot explain things to anyone without spending hours going around the houses with it. Hence the battery drain remarks. She cannot talk bout any one else's problems for more than about sixty seconds .. lol .. oh I am sorry I said 'talk'? No she does not do that at all .. I mean she cannot LISTEN to anyone else's problems for more that sixty seconds .. though she might manage a couple of minutes at times.

There are two people I this house other than her and her partner, who just winds the situation up deliberately anyway, and both of us hide all day and all night, very, very literally, in a 6 foot by 9 foot room. Just to keep away from her. Do you know what she did since I got here?

Complained to my sister she has no one to talk to?!

I roared with laughter and said “Umm .. talking implies a two way conversation and you simply do not get that with her! You cannot take over conversations to go over a fucking history lesson about yourself that bares no relevance to what you were talking about and was not only something that happened decades ago but which we have heard a thousand times over!”

I am left scratching my head and have been for years and years and years now and I am surprised I have any skin left up there! Oh wait a minute? I have had a skin problem with my scalp for years! Maybe it is me scratching my head for years?! Lol.

Forgetting that now ..

I sometimes wish I was living in America. Because I have often wished I could get into a group that was into conspiracy theories .. well the ones not requiring a thin metal head shield, that is. Like The Lone Gunmen from the X-Files series. Maybe just three members or maybe more.

To be involved with a group of like-minded people. To actually work together?! That would be sooo cooool!

I could hand over all of my data and have a team figure out the best way to use it all and in all honesty I was kinda hoping that something like this would eventually happen. Maybe even some building where they all live in an almost hippy type commune?

I suppose the only ones I have ever come across or heard of that are anything like that would be Anonymous but then I do not know a great deal about them. And even if I HAD heard a great deal about them I would not know whether to believe it or not.

So much misdirection and misinformation out there.

Maybe some other hacker group type?

People that genuinely want to do good that have become disgruntled and even angry at what the UK has become. Even angry at the world.

I am still sitting on a great deal of data that I thought I would get the time to sift through, and get help, when I was living in the north west of England .. but never did. I never even took a single photograph and for a whole range of very good reasons.

An .. outfit set up in like an old warehouse type building or barn? I know one .. in the series called Scorpion with a team of highly intellectual people that solve problems, crimes and catastrophes. Big open space where you can store shit and work without being cooped up.

Oh man .. that would be so cool! I love that series and is the only thing I got from being back here that is not a headache, unlike the very person who got me into it?!

Actually I tell a lie ..

Have upped my photography .. though I have been limited
- Health and Renovation
Have upped my videos .. though I have been limited
- Health and Renovation
Have focused more on the blogging .. or writing but still not enough
Have focused on photography site Flickr
Have focused on blog type site Tumblr
Have focused a bit more on Pinterest
Have focused on Instagram

I think I must be really terrible with my memory?

I cannot access my old PC right now and I have been unable to locate my own post where I published the cardiograph that shows the right axis deviation .. thing, the heart wall hardening and other .. things .. oh wait?

DONE IT!! WOOHOO!

Right then ..

ABNORMAL ECG *UNCONFIRMED*
Sinus Tachycardia
Possible left anterior fascicular block
Left Ventricular Hypertrophy
Lateral ST-T abnormality may be down to hypertrophy and/or ischemia
Does not seem to say heart wall hardening .. unless scientific term is one of the above?
- She, the paramedic, mentioned heart wall hardening after testing
Posted 12^th July 2016 - https://asaintcalledallnights.blogspot.co.uk/2016/07/the-four-locomotives.html
Notes
- I am clammy & sweaty (told yah!)
- Chest Pain & Palpitations
  - Told you strong palpitations going on TWO YEARS and no investigations done .. until after I informed the Docs I was moving .. then they want to send me to a cardiologist
  - A cardiologist they are now sending my daughter to!
  - Also states very clearly that “I DO NOT WANT TO ATTEND HOSPITAL!”
    - Told yah .. never rang '999' ever and always said I do not want to attend A&E!
  - Advised to ring '999' if symptoms return or worsen but I never did ring anyone
- BP 138
- Mentions all my medications
- Mentions of Fibromyalgia
- This was over my legs not responding to my brain
  - I later discovered yet a fucking gain .. that this was something called
  - Fibromyalgia Rubber Legs
  - Caused by anxiety so strong, they say, it shuts down the signals, or interferes with, to your legs from your brain
  - It is something quite unsettling as well as quite .. involuntary
  - Your trying to control your legs but they appear to be acting on their own which is
  - To mostly go to sleep .. not work in other words.
  - Ten minute walk took a bloody hour! I just wanted to be home and not in someone else's home in case an ambulance came

Oh .. dear!

Test Results ..

A SAINT CALLED ALLNIGHTS

Thursday, 24 May 2018

THE MORE THE NOT SO MERRIER

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