THE END

I cannot do this any longer.

I have been on a severe anxiety low for a few days and added to this I have tried to find a way out of my current predicament and I cannot.

In fact I only seem to find more bad news that sends me further down. One that set me off was that you cannot get benefits while being homeless .. which looks kind of inevitable.

The symptoms are also getting too much, unable to get my prescription pills has not helped. This motion sickness type thing has even developed from feeling like the train is falling when riding one to feeling like I am falling each night when I get tired and close my eyes.

There are the usual pains of my feet, back and shoulders though this has now been accompanied by severe aching in my thigh muscles, which comes about by way of a magnesium deficiency.

The NHS and consecutive GPs have failed me time after time after time and I have had my known facts and other suspicions confirmed. Report after report of the government meddling and corrupting the NHS from Nurses through to GPs and up to hospitals.

I am staying in a home that is absolute torture .. bullied and stressed out all of the time and now my anxiety has made me .. bed bound for a few days now.

My heart is either feeling like a hand is on it squeezing it tight or my heartbeats are beating out of my chest which feel really uncomfortable, when it is not racing.

The one thing that is probably happening that I do not feel is my blood pressure is up .. but that might be about to change as I have gone of food. Which matters not.

I do not have the guts, quite obviously, to take my own life in many ways. So the fact I have gone off food, something I have done before, makes it easy for me to go on a type of hunger strike until the eventual and inevitable happens.

Today someone is calling me that will want me to go and stay somewhere for a few nights .. a kind of suicide refuge .. place. But I do not know and very much doubt if I can get there. I was in contact with them once before and never managed to get there that time.

I have tried .. I have tried to get out taking photographs for my Flickr account and have been adding to my corruption, British Wildlife and A Feel for Photos blogs so I have been trying. But like the refuge people said to me in an email ..

“That is far too much to take on”

All requests for help all think that just talking about it, therefore talking you out of it, are the answer and they are not. Not for many occasions. This is fine if it purely on an emotional level but as I said to the Samaritans .. sometimes only practical help will change anything.

My legal help has not amounted to much either and I am going to have to email her too and explain that I wont be able to get to the court hearing over my PIP!

Outside of my inheritance which has all gone thanks to the public services seeing a chance to save even more money .. everything else I have tried has never worked out. Just look through this blog and it goes back six years .. but then that was what I had intended. Because I thought many things prior to starting my blogs and one was that nothing ever works out. Despite the number of charities and help groups out there .. when you go to them nothing gets done either. You just get fobbed off or have these obstacles put in your place they expect you to dance around. Often even the first thing you see on their websites is a plea for people to donate money.

Then you get to the stage that you want to curl up and die and it takes all your will power just to get to the fucking lavatory and then they want you to go her and go there .. which just ends up with the same results as al the others .. so why bother? Done all that before .. gets you nowhere.

Of course I have also believed that there would be powers that would try to thwart me and .. well that certainly seems to be the case.

I even had someone who contacted me via a dating site .. who turned out to have .. gone through the interview process for MI5, sent me a picture of a GCHQ Puzzle Book, Cosmos book (I own the DVD set), Hawking's a Brief History of Time (I also own), Sky At Night Magazines, quantum mechanic books and .. one with a cover having Schroedinger's Cat on it and Advanced Mathematics. Oh and one on biological warfare some thought might have been a threat? It has been well known for years, even my third girlfriend knew this one twenty years ago, that I was into redheads. Take a guess at the hair colour of this woman? Red. Oh and she also deleted her account a little after giving me her phone number.

Now what does that all sound like to you?

I have referred to this before but I did not say too much about it because I was probably never going to be sure and it could have been a trap. I publish the recordings and her photo and .. well .. they could never be proved to be of a clandestine organisation .. masquerade as a private individual and I could have had my blog shut down. Yeah I was onto that one pretty early but then I would never have published until I was sure and that was unlikely to ever happen anyway.

That reminds me .. I have to get the recordings of her off my phone and onto another computer .. for someone else to publish at a later date.

In fact I suppose I am going to have to think up other things I need to do other than the ones I have already done?! I need to start making a list out.

Well it looks like they will get their wish. I have had enough of all this and .. it will take time but I am not playing this game any more. There will be the odd post but in time .. or maybe sooner if I get the guts .. or something sets me off to do it, this will be ending before very long.

I tried cutting my wrists again but its just too damn difficult. Probably because I am doing that too slowly? I am coming around to thinking that it has to be a quick hard action?

Anyway .. there may be the odd post .. and I will continue to link stories in here but there are likely to be larger .. gaps between some posts.

I am going to lose energy, no doubt, so that will be problematic along the way.

I may end up in this .. refuge centre .. I am just unsure about that right now.

I cannot stop the pain and the pain is too great. Just in my own personal life ..

.. then there are the things I am going to have to endure watching before long .. my daughter's cervical cancer, Fibromyalgia and blood clot, missed, ignored and fecked up .. in that order. Added to this is severe Autism being ignored in one granddaughter, severe seizures being ignored in another granddaughter. All under an area where the healthcare is already, or has previously been, listed as inadequate they are now seriously trying to cover up.

I will continue to fight on here for as long as I can .. and am able.

THE MAGICAL CURE

Oddly I had intended not to put today ..

I've been really, really .. suffering.

But I did see something on The Canary sure that popped up in my notifications. Or cards.

There is no need for the NHS as it turns out as the DWP and the government have found a magic cure for the sick and disabled. It's called work.

Funny that as I would have liked to work out even start my own business but the first time I asked, around 2008-9 there was no help. Even for disabled people. I was then told there was help back in 2016 .. though you could hardly call it help ..

• 75 per week for 13 weeks
• 33 per week due another 13 weeks
• That's it
• If your lucky and your generally not you might get a loan .. a LOAN of a thousand pounds.

I went for it. Got approved .. twice .. then a week after going self employed they pulled the rug from under me.

After domestic violence elsewhere I find myself 250 miles north west of here and then discovering my daughter has cervical cancer, granddaughter suffers with Autism and losing money while it took me awhile to figure out I had to claim Universal Credit. Then lost another weeks money.

Now it turns out that someone, think it was DPAC, got their hands .. crap my chest is now playing up to go along with my thighs and severe anxiety. They fit hold of some details on the DWP coercing GPs to say that their patients are fit for work and even encourage them. Funny in to state it was part of the healing?

Tell that to all the dead people who died as a direct result of this stealthy, underhanded and inhumane government conspiracy.

And what all this was done without the NHS' knowledge? Like fuck was it!

I told you so .. been telling you so for nearly six years now and I am relieved to read this.

I also said many, many times it will be found out and the history books of the future will have some choice words to say about all this and the people involved.

EDIT: And voluntary euthanasia is illegal .. hypocrites! I would take this rather than this sentence that results in pain, suffering and torment.

RIP Alfie Evans

https://www.thecanary.co/discovery/analysis-discovery/2018/04/27/the-dwp-has-been-caught-trying-to-coerce-gps-into-saying-their-patients-are-fit-for-work/

A PLEA FOR A GOOD CAUSE

I'll have to finish and post this tomorrow.

But in case I forget I've linked it in and created a draft post. I don't want to forget.

I have this humongous headache .. no not the person bullying I had earlier but a bonafide headache.

I also have intense muscle pains in my legs .. would appear my magnesium is low so I hove been forgetting to take my magnesium pills. I have a magnesium deficiency that gets quite painful at times.

I've not had a headache for bloody years! I used to get a lot of them many years ago but in recent years it's the one thing I don't get is headaches.

There is a petition that had been sent to me by 38 Degrees and likely you read or heard about this one?

It's too do with yet another child, makes three posts about three different children in just twenty four hours.

This is to do with cannabidiol and it helping a child I think that has a lot of seizures.

If you are not already aware yet another thing sitting right under our noses help cure or alleviate conditions or seizures that somehow got .. missed?!

Might want to look it up .. probably find out about it on YouTube .. I bet a lot of people that have suffered for years with severe seizures and getting more and more pissed right bout now?!

Ooh God I just had a thought .. my granddaughter had two seizures today .. this of not going to be us very soon is it?!

Anyway there is a petition linked below of you want to sign it ..

Time for the government and the NHS to catch up with the twenty first century.

https://speakout.38degrees.org.uk/campaigns/3603?via=nhs-medical-cannabis

OLYMPIC SIZED MISTAKES

Want to talk about local council blunders?

Want to talk about expensive local council blunders?

How about embarrassing local council blunders that would have had me hide is shame or throw myself into the Mersey River?!

Well this is one my daughter told me about ..

Connie an entire Olympic swimming pool before realising they are a whole lane short?!

My daughter is back home with my granddaughter .. much to my shock.

As it turns out .. my granddaughter had a fever of over 41 degrees .. eyes rolled back in her head and the school refused to give her cowpol, even refused to give it to my daughter to five to her, to bring her temperature down?!

Move on to an NHS Walk In Centre .. nurses and Doctors refuse to even look at the child having a fit in my daughter's arms. Telling her she has to ring for an ambulance?!

Ambulance crew ask my daughter on the phone if a Doctor can come with the child?

Answer .. NO!

Ambulance crew sheepishly answer a quiet "oh .. right" before asking "Well can a Doctor stay with her until we get there?"

Answer .. NO!

At the hospital tests done were negative. Temps come down and she comes around. Worrying her sugar level comes back a little above 3, making me wonder if she is diabetic?!

Doctors seem to be happy she had come around, get her to eat .. then she vomits .. starts to go floppy and had a second seizure. A second?!

She eventually comes out of that one and they don't know what's wrong but send them home?!

I simply couldn't believe it!

But then we are talking about an area where everyone there in the public services seen to make Olympic sized mistakes?!

Jesus H. Christ! This .. country.

Wait until all these staff are out marching and demanding your support because they want a pay rise, or a bigger one and I've a suggestion ..

.. go down there and pelt the wankers with rotten or raw eggs!

I simply could not believe either what my daughter and granddaughter had been subjected to and nor could I believe the Olympic Pool mistake! Did not see that one in the fucking news did we?

An Olympic swimming pool payed for by the taxpayer that actually gets completed and no one notices that they are a whole lane missing from being able to be classed as Olympic sized?! That wasn't in the news?! I would ask if I was out of the country at the time but .. chance would be a fine thing?!

A whole bunch of people who cannot count to six?!

The builder of said pool "This is entirely a council mistake, trust me on that!"

This is the last, hopefully very last, in a series about my granddaughter having some sort of fit that has scared the hell out of us.

That was not the only thing that scared us as the treatment by these so called healthcare workers have left us .. terrified. I simply said ..

"God, I cannot believe this .. this is scary .. I mean really scary!"

My daughter was talking about living in Scotland only yesterday and it was funny as I had planned to live there for a year taking wildlife and landscape photographs. That was before the domestic violence happened and the Job Centre stabbed me in the back .. and the DWP stabbed me in the back for like fourth time. Might even be more than that .. memory not too good.

Now I have a king-sized headache and am feeling very, very .. tired.

Oh and there was some big fight in the hospital when two Police Offiers and two social workers failed to keep warring parents apart over something to do with their two sons .. how professional!

https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/bebington-oval-swimming-pool-forced-3432726

THE HIDDEN KNIFE

I have been thinking about that for the past few hours.

The last I heard my granddaughter was going to be kept in for tests. The trouble is I have no confidence in whatever it is they will tell us.

I can also state at this point that .. this is not the first time my granddaughter has been in hospital and that .. this seizure that she has had has happened previously. Though not to this level.

What has been tormenting me beyond belief is the sight of her lying in that bed, tube down her throat and trying to stay conscious and look at the phone because she could hear my voice. Me, every now and then, wondering if that might be the last image of the little one I will ever see?!

I have a knife here I have kept hidden and I keep on thinking about it.

I was already having a breakdown before I got that phone-call and I am having something of a double-breakdown it seems and feels like.

I have run out of diazepam, propranalol and now rampiril and have been unable to acquire replenishments despite attempting to do somewhat more than half a dozen times!

You would think that the NHS with access to my records might be fully unerstanding? But, no. The once great institution that they still try to claim is great today and did so just a morning or two ago on BBC News 24.

I had thought about going to hospital today .. what with the breakdown I was having and the lack of pills and was determined not to be fobbed off with no pills as well as something that works better than the 80mg of Propranalol I was previously on.

I am fed up with the NHS, apart from the lying, falsifying and omissions, giving out low weights of what are mostly crap drugs that end up never working or not working very well. Only to then go and find that something works .. equally well or better elsewhere. This is true of so many drugs I have had it is not true!

Only .. one of them I have used .. sent my anxiety through the roof the last time I used it and have not used it since .. I mean it was a living nightmare and damned good job I did not know where my knife was at the time?!

When the video call came .. the plan to visit the hospital for a showdown over my missing drugs and pills to handle the breakdowns kind of went out the window.

I am stuck in a very tiny room, six by nine feet, and am emotionally bullied by someone in a way that I did not expect and I am more or less stuck here.

I would kill to have somewhere else to stay right now but I do not know what to do or who to approach.

Added to this when I have approached anyone in the past they have been utterly useless and have achieved absolutely nothing up until now and the very last thing I have ongoing should have had a result by now but did not. That is the recent court hearing over my disabilities whereby the Judge did not even bother to turn up. Would you believe they sent out a letter to me that arrived the ext day, making it sound like it was cancelled with plenty of time to spare? Funny as I was sitting there when the clerk informed me that the Judge had not turned up. It took great bloody effort to do that and I was relieved I was there and that none of my symptoms had stopped me from getting there. I will say it came close as I thought I was having a heart attack on the way there. It pisses me off because my presence cannot prove anything anyway so I am being deliberately tortured and this will be the fifth time I have attended one of these hearings for the exact same thing ..

NOTHING .. has fucking changed in over ten years .. except my symptoms which have increased in number and some with frequency and intensity too. Like right now!

Maybe the insistence on your presence in court is part of some grand plan to kill people off? I know I have had some tinfoil hat people and some non-tinfoil hat people use the word 'culling' with everything that is going on.

The government has even been accused of such things, continues on anyway and shut down website after website that claims as much ..

.. I have always gotten away with it because I do not claim these things are the case .. until I acquire evidence to the fact and then I publish it. Or, indeed, someone else publishes proof of the fact.

I have produced much of my own while at other times others have proved it within the news media .. well that is the things that the news media does not go out of its way to avoid.

Often the news media has no choice and is .. selective in the way it reports something. Take Alfie Evans? I did not see anyone .. anywhere point out the problem with Judge Hayden's comments about legal proceedings set out by Alfie's parents. Giving a decision based on another court case that has not even started. Basically being told that they wont get what they want, I presume allowing Alfie home, until they drop the legal proceedings against the NHS and those three now infamous Doctors.

What I also do not know in all this is whether or not Alfie had been seen previously or how on it had gone on for.

What I also failed to realise is that .. this case alone will make every parent that would normally rely in the NHS scared of going anywhere near the NHS with their child.

DO not be surprised if a year or two from now there are reports of people fleeing the UK with their children to be treated elsewhere in the world. I know if I had the means and the money my granddaughter and I would not be in the UK at this very moment.

It is currently well after 4pm and I got fed up with being curled up in a foetal position with visions of my daughter or knives while holding my hands over my face not being able to use Film 4 and some old black and white movies to take my mind of everything.

So I thought I would have a go at writing this out .. in case I cannot later.

I did have a phone-call earlier and that is how I made the statement about the little one bing kept in hospital overnight. If it takes that long and nothing is discovered by the afternoon.

I am also assuming this is Arrowe Park Hospital in the Wirral which fills me with fear too. My one experience was bad, my daughter;s experiences since have been bad and by all accounts .. many previous experiences have been bad too. According to the locals up there.

Good God .. how are humans, well those of us that are, supposed to endure all this?!

To call it 'overwhelming' would be an understatement and I feel like .. I don't know it is is explode or implode?!

Sometimes it feels like 'seams' in your head and it feels like they are gradually coming apart .. little by excruciating little. If only those crowd funding sites I had set up while living up ther ehad worked?! SIGH

Jesus Christ, I wish I knew what the answer to all this was?

Cervical cancer, two lots of Fibromyalgia, two lots of Autism with the most severe now being denied, blood clots, two lots of very high blood pressure, one case of homelessness with another five being threatened. Domestic violence. Involved in a murder court case where the murderer gets off with a £250 fine and six points on his driver's licence and Police fucking up the evidence by allowing it to be contaminated? Police claiming they stopped smuggling into Walton Prison on the news when they had not and we were still getting harassing phone-calls. All this between my daughter, four grandchildren and myself .. how can this be?!

Do not forget we got ZERO help from anyone and only one offer of help left .. which I find out about in a couple of weeks .. if I am still around and somehow manage to make it to the court hearing?!

We cannot be the only ones going through this and maybe even worse than us? Though it is quite difficult to imagine how it could be worse but the fact remains there could be?

If this is the case and there are dozens .. if not hundreds of other cases like ours how have they stayed out of the news media?!

I tried so very hard to get noticed .. over and over again .. just like I did in a court case against my daughter where I told the court that I guarantee that if they do what they did .. that ..

.. my daughter would end up with the life from hell!

Well .. it ended up far, far worse than even I could have imagined.

To the point where she just tells me time after time on the phone that she just wants to die.

That is what the local authorities can do for YOU!

Ooh Jesus .. just had a video-call and relieved to see my granddaughter up and about. Nothing on what is wrong with her and worried now they will just send her home and we will be back to where we was. Having to hound a healthcare worker to hell and back to get them to do anything and find out what is wrong with a child that is barely three years old?!

My daughter was told that they will decide whether they will allow her to go home or not.

But .. if you do not know what it is .. how can you do that? To save money no doubt as wages for the health service is far more important than the lives they are tasked to save these days.

Why else would you keep paying these high salaries while sending people home that results in lives being lost? It has happened. It is happening.

My daughter's friend was sent home while her unborn child was dead despite complaining of severe headaches and visually swollen legs. This was the same area and likely the same hospital. She was then subjected to bullying attempts that reduced her to tears what I now know to be a midwife to get their hands on some report or medical record. To the point where she admitted that she previousy thought my claims about the NHS (believed the others) were mad. Then said “Your Dad was right, he was right about everything!”

Oh and I am trying to fight my way into creating something .. getting out when I can and fighting my pains and my fears to get a few hundred photos so that I can create a thousand and put them on my Flickr account. Name is 'allnights1'.

I have a dozen blogs I have been working on for well over five years and a YouTube account and now been uploading photographs to a Flickr account that numbers over 2,200 photos. I have also ad very recently been uploading these to Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.

When I cannot get out there are .. other things I can do .. when they do not slip my short term memory issues, that is.

I might also add that we were told that this little one was Autistic too. So we spent months trying to get our heads around that. Whereas this one scored .. over 80 or 90, I think it was, her older sister scored 225 on one test. Anything above 70 means that the child is Autistic. Except now .. the one that scored highly and therefore severely Autistic, which has been seen by everyone that knows her as her behaviour has deteriorated in that time, is now .. not Autistic. Only a report stating the exact age that the Paediatrician was going to state appeared in a report that turned up at my daughter's home. Odd because the Paediatrician was meant to have seen her before then but failed to turn up .. turning up at the school a week to ten days or more later. Now go figure that one out!

If this is another case of negative results from tests then I would have lost count of the number of times I have heard about negative tests in recent years. My own, one brother's tests, my daughter and two grandchildren.

Shit! I have just been bullied by this person .. because she just HAS to go on and on about some fucking workmen coming in here next week because SHE says its important! Yeah .. she knows about the child .. but has to make a fucking big thing out of nothing! Mountains out of molehills!

I am now seriously stressed out and I want out!

I am wondering whether or not to now go to hospital if there is anyone I can ring to get out of here .. non family and friends as they are few and all out of the question! I am going to fucking lose it here!

EDIT: I told them earlier of the situation and they thought they would come back and go on at me in a few hours time .. I have emailed the Samaritans .. or someone like that I cannot recall, begging for help on how to get out of here!

THE WAIT

Oh my God-oh my God-oh my God!

Typed this out in a hurry on my phone before sticking it on charge to make sure I have enough battery for the next and very vital phone-call.

Ooh boy!

As if this morning wasn't bad enough?!

I'd been having a hard morning, it's also raining, and having a debate with myself about whether to go to hospital and have a row or ring '111' as I'm having anxiety and chest issues galore.

I then get a phonecall from my daughter which took my mind off it for awhile. Then she gets a call to say that my youngest granddaughter has had a fit in school and had to go. Worrying.

I remember being told she had, had fits when I lived there but nothing happened while I was there. In fact I thought maybe it was a one off thing and had since forgotten about it.

Bearing in mind at this point that my daughter had cervical cancer, older granddaughter is severely autistic .. except now they say she is not, despite being a massive problem to absolutely everybody. My daughter was also told she was being referred off over her own Fibromyalgia .. back in November 2017 and it's now April 2018 and nothing has come. Victim of domestic violence too and had to move house to which the council used the excuse to reduce her rent payments by 60%. Has a blood clot that was buggered up by not treating her correctly over her cervical cancer biopsy too and had a Doctor, only effing yesterday, forced to come out and say ..

"Couldn't you come down to the surgery for this?!"

Blood clot type red and yellow patches on her leg and back .. couldn't walk. Also had been in hospital over that the previous Saturday, Sunday and Monday and then asked to go to A&E to test for what they should have done on the Saturday.

I've had my daughter at her wits end and wanting to die over the stress this has caused.

I'm no longer there thanks to all these amoral, patronising, condescending tossers that work for what is now a 'Nanny State' of the worst kind because it has zero compassion.

So I lay here hoping everything is going to be OK and expecting a phone-call from my daughter from her home with the little one running around yabbering. That's not what I got ..

What I got was a video call with a half conscious little girl lying on a hospital bed with a tube down her throat and falling asleep. Me talking to her to keep her awake and her fighting and struggling to look at me on the phone screen. She couldn't manage it.

I thought she had been given drugs.

She had not been given drugs and my daughter has no idea why she is like that.

I'm currently terrified ..

I think I am goig to have a heart attack?!

Fuck .. the things I now want to type about this country, the NHS, the Local Council and the DWP who are now playing Russian Roulette with my grandchildren, daughter and .. quite obviously millions of people's lives.

Then there is this Alfie Evans crap going on.

Shit .. I should have told my daughter to remain calm because and I've told her before, of you lose it .. your automatically seen as being in the wrong. Because no one in the working class or lower is allowed to have any emotions. Also it helps draw attention away from themselves!

No I could say things far more derogatory and I could open up the offensive words dictionary but .. must .. hold .. back.

Fuck! This is going to be .. bloody tough!

ALERT! BIASED MORON DETECTED!

Sorry .. I heard something else about Alfie before I posted this .. did another post because I was angry at the sheer patronising attitude of the court judge and forgot I had not posted this one..

As a forenote to mention something else I have since heard .. I rattled off a salvo about Judge Hayden making comments about summonses being issued for murder against three Doctors. Sorry but .. as I said in my other post .. a Judge CANNOT make decisions or even draw opinions because of another case. Not until it has been fully heard and a sentence given if any are due.

But he did this before even any preliminary hearing and that in itself is astounding. His argument is that filing legal proceedings against the NHS is seen in his eyes as hostility .. biased much?

Well .. I have now been told that the Italians are talking about doing the same?!

Hey, Judge Hayden? Please go and be condescending and patronosing to the Italian govenment and the Vatican?! Please? Pretty Please?! 

That I would dearly love to bloody read about!

Now onto this post, and the title. I ws orginally going to give the title just one word. Starting with the letter 'W' and ending in anker. But I have to keep it clean .. apart from the odd 'f-bomb' when I want to stress how angry I am about something.

That's Judge Hayden to you. In the title.

"All we want to do is what's best for Alfie's family" is what he said.

He did that while taking away their rights. Taking away Alfie's rights. Spoke on a condescending and patronising way about Alfie's patents attitude.

Like I said .. wanker!

'Taking Alfie to Italy (and somewhere else) is out of the question' he also stated or something to that effect.

An Italian citizen not allowed to go home?! Hmm now that I think about it did this not happen once before? With a real Italian citizen?!

Short answer, yes.

It was an Italian woman who have birth while in the UK that the authorities decided was not sane, was planning to take her new born baby off her and prevent the child and mother from returning to Italy.

Because in recent times the British government seems to know better than any other countries authorities and wants to take things out of everyone else's hands?!

Fuck me .. we really have become the World Police?!

Except .. it's all done with a hypocritical attitude no one notices and is kept quiet. In fact even this act of evil is probably done to hide the truth.

That the British government or the secret ring or group that controls them is treating it's own people like crap. Knowingly letting adults and children both fit, would be bad enough, and sick along with vulnerable .. die. This could be suicide, freezing to death or .. starving to death.

That very last point is an interesting one because after hearing that they turned off life support which didn't result in Alfie dying, making them look like the fools that they are. Yup, after hearing that I heard that .. I was told that they had not fed Alfie for some 20 hours prior to turning off life support?!

Wait, what?!

So let's get this straight?

It's wrong to take the poor child abroad in a bid to save his life but it's OK for them to starve him to death?!

These people have no one's best interests in mind and are nothing more than fucking evil monsters of this is true.

Heard of people that like to play God?

This one goes one better as they are playing both God and the DEVIL!

Who the fuck drags this out over six months or more, starves the child, refuses the child a chance, says no to another country, turns off the machines before this out country can stop them in court, the boy still survives making them look like the fucking incompetent idiots that they are and then still block any attempts to save him by preventing the parents from taking their son overseas?!

Am I actually getting that right?!

What the fuck is this?! Some fashionable attempt to look left wing going a little too far?!

I'm done with the UK have condescending twats in courts that think they are God and acting like they are of some higher order.

Jesus H. Christ over the next few years David Icke is going to have a fucking field day in his talks over this.

I'm wondering if a normally reserved woman I know on Facebook had a sudden outburst recently about the UK?

I also cannot help but wonder if this is deliberate?! Are the powers that be deliberately trying to incite something?

It's weird .. unbelievably obvious they're all fucking mental.

I don't think I'm going to bother putting myself through pain, rush of death (huh maybe that's their intention) to go to a fucking HMCTS court I know is corrupt anyway. If you can't trust the Supreme Court then the rest can fuck off!!

Disgusting .. truly I'm ashamed.

Honestly .. who would want to go through a fucking lengthy legal process like this in future only for hat outcome. No one I know wants to even bother looking for legal advice over the NHS. I know .. they tell me. The trouble is the medical records are then wrong, incomplete and that was the intention .. to get things left off medical records you you cannot prove anything when your being attacked, hounded and taken to court by these bastards.

They even get Police protection.

But then I have covered this before .. I know one person who had a disagreement with a GP who had lied. They pointed out he lied .. but he then said horrid things reducing a woman to tears .. her father came down, not me by the way, and the next thing the Police were demanding they leave.

These are the public services that take your taxes to award themselves handsomely .. do nothing and then asking for your sympathy when they have not got the pay rise they wanted or expected. Than go back to doing nothing.

In one of my recent posts I posted a recording of my daughter .. lied to by the NHS, Local Council and DWP. Has cervical cancer .. a blood clot they fucked up about over 2.5 days .. just happened and I will get to that momentarily. A child with severe autism they have now lied about. Will be made homeless before the year is out. Big patch on her leg now, might be two, very large with red and yellow and according to what we have read .. BLOOD CLOT!

I imagine that despite her raging over being fucked about and lied to she will be in hospital before the day is through?

It does not matter which public service it is .. they are all, or the major ones are, corrupt!

Judge rejects plea to fly sick Alfie Evans to Italy but asks doctors to consider letting tot go home http://flip.it/RKkUa-

DRAGGED THROUGH HELL

Jesus H. Christ this Alfie Evans business just gets worse and worse.

I was told that the helicopter that was sent by Italy, one of their hospitals which has links to the Vatican, therefore the Pope who asked them to do this have been marched off the premises?!

It is like they are even sticking two fingers up to not only the Italian government but the Vatican and the Pope too?! Hey? I am in no way religious but not even I would treat them with this level of contempt!

Stunning. If this is true .. truly stunning but it gets better ..

If you recall and if you do not know .. I have had run ins with the NHS for years and I know for a fact they lie and have linked recordings I have made that prove this. I am in the process of re-linking them in here but thanks to the public services they have managed to make me homeless. Plus lost around £10,000 in savings. That will come out later ..

I got my first of several recordings of them lying and upon discovering that I had done this .. kicked me off the GP practice, also refusing to listen to the tape (Abernethy House Surgery in Enfield), accusing me of violence. Odd because I was unaware this had happened and while the letter was in the post I sat in the wankers (Johnathan Gubbay) surgery and he did not ask anyone to be present so did not fear for his safety and acted calm. Funny as I am physically fit to look at and I know Wing Chun Kung Fu so if I was partial to violence .. yeah you would need protecting. A lot of it.

This was because I told the GMC when I complained to them that if I was to be lied to again, patronised the way I was and refused to listen to evidence I would knock his teeth out so being responsible I would not enter the surgery again ..

.. except I was deliberately fucked about .. told that if I wanted my prescription drugs I would have to go back to the surgery one more time and hence why I was sitting their in his surgery while a letter was on its way to me in the post, kicking me off and accusing me of violence.

If you have been here long enough to know all that and the letter is on here, trust me on that one, then the following might start to kick some memory cells into action?

A fucking Judge got persnickety with the representative of Alfie Evans parents and claimed that there is hostility by ALfie's parents towards the NHS..

Because he accused three Doctors or murder, or attempted murder, and three summons were issued?!

Jesus these Judges really do think they are God and above the law making decision because of summons issued before any case as even had its first hearing?! You cannot do that and you do not, or should fucking not, have the power to do that!

Now pay close attention here and the link the the article in The Telegraph is to be found at the end of the post ..

Paul Diamond, representing Alfie's father Tom Evans, said there were "tensions", but that there was no "hostility'" against the NHS. 

But Lord Justice McFarlane told counsel: "Your client purported to take out a private prosecution to have three named doctors charged with the criminal offence of conspiracy to murder.

"Those summonses were served on the doctors and I hear you say that there is no hostility to the NHS."

Mr Diamond replied: "There is no hostility but within that process there are tensions." 

Lord Justice Coulson said: "There are rather more than tensions." The accusation related to "the most serious possible offence".

The judge went on: "That simply doesn't square with there being no hostility to the NHS. As my children would say 'end of'."

Did a judge actually just use the phrase 'end of' i a court of law?!

Mr Diamond also said an air ambulance was on standby at the "request of the Pope" and that a member of from the Italian embassy was in court. 

You see the problem here?

A judge is making his mind up about a perfectly legal set of proceedings taking place .. umm because they are actually fucking legal proceedings and he is making a decision based on a set of proceedings that have not been seen through yet?! Is he fucking retarded or just obviously biased like all the courts have been accused of for years?!

There is plenty more but if you have any doubts here is a line from a BBC website that is literally about Alfie Evans and the link is below ..

In the UK, the law doesn't consider either doctors or parents to be automatically right. That's why, when an agreement can't be reached, it comes down to the courts to make the final decision based on the evidence available.

Right do you see that first line? 'IN the UK, the law does not consider either Doctors or parents to be automatically right.'

Except that is what he is doing .. assuming the Doctors have done no wrong and I have seen this before over and over and over again.

There is even a website about it and all the dodgy cases by .. public services .. hmm let me see if I can find it .. I even chatted to the site owner about several things over a few days or weeks ..

Huh .. I cannot seem to find it. It only had four letters in its address, like 'pfgt' or something like that? I wonder if they got succesfuly taken down by the government or public services. Seems your not allowed to tell the truth in the UK anymore?! It is becoming like China or Russia!

My daughter is really angry with the .. well 'EVIL TRINITY' which is the Local Council, NHS and DWP and wants to 'knock someone out'.

I said that this is part of their grand plan .. this is what they want .. they drive you to that, once your violent you have lost. They label you and get away with it. They did not, however, with me.

There is no human rights anymore and no avenue left for legal proceedings, they treat you worse than dogs for years on end and as soon as you do something that is perfectly natural, human and totally understandable they treat you like you are a different species form them. No .. they could ever be forced into expressing anger .. you need to actually be human for that?!

Quick .. someone get me David Icke's phone number or email address?!

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/25/alfie-evans-father-threatens-privately-prosecute-three-nhs-doctors/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-43893709

THE UNIVERSAL HELL

Except .. it is not 'universal' is it? It is just the UK.

I wonder if anyone actually running this country has actually considered what this is like for people that are actually on the outside looking in? Probably not. Or maybe have but just do not care? Or perhaps care so little about it that the thought never entered their minds?

But the fact is that they have not caught on that countries do not live in bubble worlds where it takes a long time for people from foreign nations discover things that are going on within another country.

Almost bizarrely and in the UK this is something the news media do not think about unless they are finding something newsworthy of them in foreign climes.

As reported in the first link below to Sky News people are stating that Universal Credit is like "hell on Earth" and I cannot think of anything more degrading than what this has been.

I have been fortunate .. well .. up until now .. but it has still been a distraction and the only reason it has not been hell on Earth for me thus far is because the other things I have going on .. would put Universal Credit in a far worse light than it already is in, if that is even possible?

What I find disturbing is that anyone that regularly works but go through periods of being jobless, which let us be honest must be a fair few in recent times, are subjected to this .. degrading process and I am sure that the numbers that hate this system are rising week on week.

I also see that the timeline has shifted again and in the second link, again by Sky News, it states that the roll-out finishes in 2022 .. two years further away than the quoted year of 2020 I was last told .. which was a delay from the previous date I was aware of.

Of course members of the biggest group of liars within the UK state that it is helping, helping, people back into work but not only do I call bullshit on that as they will be massaging the figures in a number of ways, but it is not about forcing people back into work but about having the jobs there to begin with and KEEPING those jobs.

In America a certain white male Hollywood Director is stating that a bunch of people should lose their jobs because they are white males. I am sure the same attitude exists here in the UK too? It may well exist in certain countries in Europe too?

Oddly I have always actually thought that my skin colour would prevent me from getting a job and now I am hearing statements that seem to prove, to some degree, that odd feeling I have long since had?!

It is weird how they insist on going down this road, despite all the warning signs and the obvious and inevitability that eventually it will fail catastrophically and that we .. and more importantly they will be the laughing stock of the world. The western world at the very least. In fact I have not only seen dozens of comments by Americans on YouTube and forums essentially taking the piss out of Britain but I have even had a comment on one of my videos taking the piss out of me and assuming that I am like these idiots.

Inhumane, amoral and .. evil. No matter which was you slice it.

Note the woman in the first link is a volunteer, fuck me forcing you to work for free too, at the bloody Job Centre?!

https://news.sky.com/story/line-18-universal-credit-claimants-say-it-is-like-like-hell-on-earth-11339306

https://news.sky.com/story/what-impact-is-universal-credit-having-11343838

KNEW THERE WAS A REASON

I always loved her ever since Sapphire & Steel.

I, of course, an speaking about Joanna Lumley.

She's just come out and said something amazing and at the perfect time.

"I'm terrified that all men are going to be seen as bad"

You said it sister. Childhood sweet heart!

If you ever wanted someone on your side you simply could not get a better ambassador than Joanna Lumley. Or maybe you could bit I certainly cannot think of one.

I hope that from her wise words they certain groups, as opposed to 'group', start to see the error of their ways? Or even as far as the incompetence in the lack of foresight they have had.

Unless one of my theories of all this being deliberate to incite something is right in which case they won't care. If so they will go right on not giving a crap either.

Well Ms Lumley from a man's perspective that will be backed up by my own daughter .. yeah, all men are not only seen as bad but treated as if they are bad. It also gets worse depending on your skin colour. Quite unfortunately.

But like I said I'm all about striving for change that includes fairness. To many different groups getting treated badly.

Quite unfortunately this has now spread across genders, age and .. ill health. Something I am angry about and have been enduring and fighting against for a very long time.

This has nearly cost me my life many times and may do yet in a variety of ways.

I have been shocked and dismayed over recent years about this trend .. leaning towards hating men, labelling men and have seen it go from a trend to now being something fashionable. It also gets worse depending on your skin colour while the worst kind of of men are somewhat .. ignored, quite bizarrely.

I find it both surprising and shocking that I can actually refer to this .. labelling as fashionable. How the bloody hell can it be fashionable.

But it literally translates that being evil is down to gender. Your either evil or your not .. so if your male your evil and if your female your not.

I also see this occur with skin colour and I have spoken about the stupidity and naivety of this so many times.

I could give a good example going on right now of Star Wars and I was not even aware it was going on. I even saw The Force Awakens and still did not realise immediately but since then I have seen tens of thousands of comments on YouTube about it.

The Last Jedi came out and many of those that doubted what was going on now either had no doubts or strong suspicions.

But now your hearing statements like 'There are too many white male directors in Hollywood' fro the white male director of The Last Jedi and I even heard a bloody great one recently 'There are too many white males working in computer graphics in cinema'?!

Right. Soo what they are saying is that all the special effects in cinema films have now got to turn to utter shite and go back ten or twenty years because you have to just go out and employ all women because it is the right thing to do? What utter stupidity and you cannot have grey matter in the double figures nor getting them to work as a bloody team to come out with comments like that ..

If there is few or no women then this will merely be down to the fact that women or girls are not studying in those areas and this is where the problem lies .. with women and their choices of subjects to study.

I did a computer science degree and when I think back I can only recall three women .. Claire, Melanie and an cute oriental woman whose name I cannot recall. Out of 200 odd students in the computer science degree.

Also .. what are these morons also saying? Oh they are saying that these 180 plus students now having all been in jobs for years now need to be fired so that they can replace them all with women they do not have. Soo .. umm along with firing a load of people good at their jobs without good reason your going to fill these positions with women whose qualifications are a lot lower then those they are replacing?!

Here is an idea that really will be of benefit to everyone .. even those that do not deserve it ..

Anyone .. and I mean ANY ONE that sounds like one of these crazed moronic Social Justice Warriors that say stupid things like this should be fired, removed from office, stripped of being a judge and so on and so forth and replaced with someone with common sense?!

I hate these ridiculously stupid word they invent too .. yeah .. so of a higher order are they that the invent new words .. like 'mansplaining'. Yeah you better believe it .. they even have their own way of explaining which is different to other ways of explaining. Quite obviously there way is the correct way, or their opinion is correct, and everything else is wrong and deserves its own derogatory terms?

Along with all the other serious stuff I am directly involved with, have been for years, collected evidence and secret recordings on for years of every public service .. this is another terrifying this I have had to watch unfold.

So every now and then if I see something that makes me mad or gives me hope I feel like I just have to post something on this scary subject. Mainly because these people are not only scary but also bloody hypocrites which is painfully obvious to anyone but the most blind out there.

You know I had no idea that not only are the morons out there that think like this but that it would go as far as it has done?!

In fact a great many things have gone a lot further than I ever thought possible and .. well for the love of God .. that is how this blog got started in the first place! It has still continue to go on beyond the boundaries I thought would never ever be breached.

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: Joanna Lumley: 'Terrified all men are seen as bad' - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-43884163

THE PRINCE & THE UNFORTUNATE

Well this was bind to happen but the timing could not be more perfect.

Though the child it is perfect for is in a right sorry state of affairs, it had to be said.

In fact once I'm going to mention what I had been told and what I've noted I'm going to leave it a few days to see what else is said .. or not said.

As the protest about poor Alfie Evans was going on another child was coming into the world. I was not even aware she was expecting but the Duchess of Cambridge had her third child.

No cap on that arrangement then? Despite the taxpayers money being laid out being significantly more than your average Joe.

Also of note was no mention of Alfie Evans on the BBC News but fair play to Sky News for mentioning it and having a web page about Alfie Evans, the protest and what his father said.

That's the first thing .. the second was what I got told on the phone by someone that lives nearby. Yup Alfie .. I have someone not far from you whose fighting of her own injustices going on against her and her children. It involves lying and falsifying reports and I know it's going on in a lot of places. With a lot of people.

Someone I've known on Facebook for years recently published a notice that stated what, basically, a twisted and such country we live in and how did it get like this?!

Clever planning. Not so clever at not leading us into this fucking godawful mess in the first place ..

.. despite the fact that I predicted it 4.5 years before it started, stating it would happen within five years.

I fell out with friends and family over that and was called a nutcase.

But as my grandfather always pointed out .. when I'm sure I'm right about something I stick to my guns. That happens a lot. Fortunately I'm not called mad any more. Especially as I now possess evidence to a series of events even crazier sounding than predicting the financial crisis. Yesiree. Oops!

Yeah you would have thought that after being proved right over and over again and then priced right over the financial crisis that people .. shouldn't bet against me. But they did. 

Got cut off there momentarily.

So .. on Facebook .. people are pissed. They have stated that the news is all over the third baby by Prince William but poor Alfie does not get a mention. Must be more of that fake news they keep on about?

I have also been informed twice now that they turned off life support?! Right after the Italian government awarded Alfie Italian citizenship?!

Well if that is not two fingers held up by the British Government to the Italian government then I do not know what is?!

The last thing I was told was the following ..

"It is all going to kick off up here"

If the British public do not have an outcry over this and ask serious questions of the British government, the British legal system and its courts along with the NHS then I do not know what will?

IT'S THE SHOES!

Riddle me this ..


When do shoes seem perfect on a hot day

But when colder the perfection goes away?

This is what leaves me scratching my head

When not wondering when I will be dead

That is if the trouble and all the strife

Do not force me to take my own life

So I will continue to focus on my mojo

And endeavour to get put to get a great photo


My feet are warm. And yet it is somewhat cooler today, I felt chilled yesterday when I went out, when a few days ago it was warm.

How?

How can my feet feel hot when it is a few degrees below 20 Celsius when they felt fine and that included moving about when it was 27 Celcius?!

I must admit when I first say the higher temperatures predicted I thought ..

'Oh fuck! I finally get some sunny weather after several months of waiting and this up shot in temperature is going to knock me out and prevent me from travelling on a bus and even walking around at all?!'

I do so hate doing nothing.

I try to find other stuff to do, or I used to, when I cannot get out but here .. that is impossible to do because of space .. access to what I do own. Not getting the things I needed to own, or read that as tools (space is a problem if if money ceased to be one).

I can write a few posts about news reports or corruption or things going on with me or my daughter. But I like to take photos ..

• Fine Art (Conceptual) Photography : I want to get into taken a couple of pics
• Architecture Photography : I want to get into .. done some
• Buildings and Patterns Photography : Done a bit of that now
• Macro Photography : Can do it using another camera, non-professional, but missing a tool (camera or lens)
• Wildlife Photography : Done for years now but professional level .. not so much (time)
• Monochrome Photography : Done a few things but want to do more
• Night Time Photography : Done nothing really thus far
• Astrophotography : Done nothing really thus far
• Aerial Photography : Missing the tool
• Photojournalism : Marches, Protests things like that and done next to nothing
• Artistic Photography : Painting Like
• Probably one or two others I have not thought of

What I am not into ..

• Sports Photography and yes I am a man
• Wedding Photography see I am a man
• Candid Photography is nice but you cannot have you pro camera out for candid moments .. mobile phones best for this

Oh and I do, do .. do-do-do do what I say ..

https://www.flickr.com/gp/89426160@N05/ep163U

 Where it should have ended three years ago ..

This is one of the many things I like to do .. oooh I forgot Orchids! Anyway. These are some of the things I like to do when I am not talking about corruption in the UK, in government .. or governments and the public services. Their lies, tricks and bad treatment of the British public.

LIES IN PROGRESS

I cannot believe what I was told on the phone today!

After being in hospital for three days in the trot for a suspected blood clot for someone who has cervical cancer and a mother looking after four children ..

"Ooh no blood clot in your leg but we're concerned .. can you now go to A&E?"!

Are they fucking serious?!

That's three visits over three fucking days .. waiting for hours for the umpteenth time and they send her to somewhere where she will have a six hour wait?! And who looks after the children and due the things mothers need to do? The Cheshire Cat?! Mickey Mouse?!

Jesus!

She refused to go and they kept asking, why? Really and truly they asked why.

This was Arrowe Park Hospital on the Wirral and I told you I've been there and got treated like crap, promised loads of things none of which were seen through and had a very bad vibe in that hospital. I never wanted to ever walk through its doors ever again.

I thought that the hospitals in London were bad?!

Well it's just been proved to me and I'm afraid it gets worse ..

After being told my granddaughter is Autistic which I didn't believe .. until the very next time I laid eyes on her when she got excited and started arm flapping.

Over the next few months we saw more and more things. As did the school and the social workers who were the ones that informed us.

Many tests were done and it looked bad. Real .. bad .. a test result of over 70 meant Autism and she scored 225!!

A paediatrician was supposed to see her before a final diagnosis. Long wait .. put of the appointment at the last minute from January until April. Last week she failed to turn up. I get told she was there today and suddenly .. she states something I saw in a very recent report and said to a shocked teacher

"Oh I see no Autism traits, she's just a little bit behind"?!

I could not believe my ears!

Bearing in mind this is from a daughter I had to listen to while she told me that she wanted to throw herself out of a window and kill herself, several times lately.

Her life as well as mine really have turned into the lives from hell.

Three things have been acknowledge by her Doctors ..

Fibromyalgia of which they said they would refer her and just like the lies and tricks I've had .. six months later no referral.

Cervical Cancer they missed .. because of the minimum age and seemingly gets worse each time they look at it. We originally diagnosed as Stage 1A. What it is now is anyone's guess.

Blood Clot they have long since known about and you get fucked about for three .. fucking .. days?! And they can't understand why you can't give to the remainder of your third day?!

Are you people fucking born morons?!

No .. what I need to tell my daughter, we got cut off because Facebook Messenger is garbage, is that this is, obviously a lie, a conspiracy and can only be down to one of two things ..

Me and this blog ..

Her Cervical Cancer as they are scared that being reported on for her cancer, maybe even he death and then being fucked about with a severely Autistic child would cause too much of a public outcry.

Funny is it not that the pediatrician can't get to my granddaughter in four months .. fails and then turns to again within a week?! Funny that .. obviously not that booked to then?

Even if she is right, which she's not and it's a lie, we didn't refer my granddaughter. We didn't think she was Autistic. We were told she was. Neither of us believed it and thought it must be a mistake. Then we started seeing things. Then more and more things surfaced. Behaviour went down like a lead balloon. Well .. others said she was and made the referrals. She also failed all the tests, speech and language. Others including three supposed helpers who did fuck all, all see her behaviour. The destruction. The violence towards others. Inability to have a conversation. The schools noticed and not one but two.

So ..

If everyone incompetent bar the pediatrician?!

Is every single one of them from all the different support departments, two schools and Digital worker department all fucking thick?!

Don't forget this is after moving over suggestive abuse that was pretty bad and made the local newspapers .. there's a link in a previous post if you can find it.

Un .. believable.

I knew it was going to be bad judging be her voice. I told her I was going to record it, which I did.

I need to ask her if I can link it in here and people can hear for themselves?

Though I'm not sure if things are getting through as my numbers are behaving very oddly and ..

Well .. let's just say I've been in contact with someone who is .. questionable and shows done of behaviour and doesn't do themselves any favours ..

I called them out too and they admitted two links .. not one but two .. to .. government and somewhat .. clandestine departments.

Young mother dies of cervical cancer NHS missed and took too much time on then it's discovered they made mistakes over Deep Vein Thrombosis, deliberately neglected Fibromyalgia her daughter's Autism was lied about by the NHS after it was already spotted by receive else and all the tests proved it??

How about that for a headline?!

Admittedly it's a bit long for this world where everyone suffers from TLDR in anything longer than an SMS or Tweet.

Recording of conversation got an agreement for publishing ..

She is my daughter but I still have to ask permission .. even from her .. but as someone who acquired a contract signature, no more than that for now, has done nothing ..

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1flNyAR6kQmuVfgjZNI-0sGf1CgG7fLbH