THE LONG SIGH

Oh .. my .. God.

I have someone that is something of a narcissist but has recently told me, during a thirty minute plus lecture, about how they are going to use a counsellor at an institution I happen to know damn well and how they are going to have to talk about all the stuff in their life and their past. This is because an ailment they have is now claimed to not be what they thought it was, umm nor did I, and is something else caused by stress.

Umm .. yeaaah .. except I had to tell them that these people are going to tell them to bury this crap from the past, which has driven us all mad for years, and the look on their face as they went "Err noo .. " before I said "Err yeah. I have had fifteen sessions with them, I have had them before and I know how they work. Christ almighty, I have been telling them to bury this crap for years and not to interrupt us when we are telling them about shit is going on so they can tell us an old sob story for the fiftieth time. It is littered throughout the life of this blog, for Christ's sake!

Then I get told, with hesitation, about how I should be forgetting about my daughter before I said "No! That is stuff that is going on RIGHT NOW. They wont tell you to forget about stuff that is affecting you RIGHT NOW but they WILL tell you about going over ancient history". While listening to this I had to bear some more stories that were ancient history. Told to me yet again as if I have never heard them before when I have heard them many dozens of times over thirty years plus.

#FACEPALM!

Oh if they go where they say they are going they are going to get something of a surprise and I know how long these weekly sessions go on for. So bailing out before it is over is not an option because I will know exactly what has happened. They are not hearing what they want to hear and will walk away. Which is being told they are right. Even though they are not and the proof has been all around them for years. One even got mentioned .. well two actually. How they are not on speaking terms and get no visits from family members.

Yeah well there are five of us .. two confined to rooms here in an attempt to hide and stay out of the way of this crap .. three others reside elsewhere, as did I up until two months ago. Of the three others .. only one has visited and that was briefly and even she has yet again fallen out with the narcissist. But .. the day I was told she had fallen out is not the day I know she had fallen out .. or more accurately, they had fallen out. So I am not sure what has transpired there it is more bullshit again. I can tell you that questioning that would be pointless because if I get bullshit and say it never happened previous and was only recently .. well I not only previously knew the falling out had taken place but I also know that a plan got cancelled because of it. I previously knew of a falling out that was not a falling out despite the fact that there now is a falling out but t only took place last Saturday?! Told that an hour ago! LMAO!

Excuse me I just need to get a dustpan and brush to scoop up my mind which has been boiled into a liquid and oozed out onto the floor!

Now they have NEADS and not epilepsy which is bought about by stress which is why I got a lecture and yeah .. I have to listen to intimate details from my daughter concerning cervical cancer and some horrid things going on with it right now because she has no one else to speak to.

No .. I have still not been asked about this most horrid and terminal illness but I am supposed to hear about NEADS which has once again been explained in a way to make it sound terminal. Again.

Oh and this has not been diagnosed by the way. They read about it!

This is all for the same symptom I have been experiencing on and off for the last 20 years plus and I think my daughter was about two, give or take a few months, the first time I had a major episode about it.

Yeeah .. do not worry about the fact I have the same symptom and they have not figured out what it is, or that I was right about theirs or that I have 260 odd other symptoms along with it or the fact that my daughter has the same as well as cervical cancer, at least one granddaughter with Autism and that I have no idea what in the God damned world is going to happen to any of them! Threatened with homelessness on top of all that. I am currently homeless because of it and a court case in a matter of mere days whereby a lot of the above is resting upon the outcome. Noo .. do not worry about any of that. Just that you have no one to talk to .. well .. talk at, as I stated to someone else.

You do not get to talk without being interrupted to be retold stories you gave bee retold before that bear no resemblance to the current situation or provide no help whatsoever. Though they claim they do until you ask what they provided. Then you get a blank look or some complaining about you not listening. No .. I listened and I did not hear the help or advice on their that you claimed so pleeeease explain to me what I was supposed to take from that two hour lecture of stories I have heard dozens of times previous?! No answer. Because it was not told to help you .. but because they love going over and over old wounds and the excuses and reasnos they have to do it are flimsier than the tin foil used for your roast Turkey.

I also found out something else .. now I have ended up in a couple of arguments with the narcissist and do retreated to a tiny 6ft by 9ft room until a court hearing is heard. But I have not had a disagreement in six weeks and never started with either of the other difficult two .. except and as stated before .. one seemed to be pissed off.

Well as it turns out now, ooh I did earn something from the lecture?! It turns out that .. well I have had a few digs against me, what I eat, what I drink, what I spend my money on, smoking, vaping and even how long I am on the phone or even when my phone rings. Oh and its my fault the smoke alarms went off twice. From vaping. No other possible reason or reasonable one or the fact that it took eight weeks before my vape set off the alarms and that this was odd. Nooo ..

Well it seems they heard me talking about that being difficult on the phone .. to either my daughter though it could have been Mario. Huh .. could have been my sister who ended up saying something and making things worse?! Well she only rings every two or three weeks whereas Mario rings more like every other day and my daughter ever day. In fact my daughter rings several times a day so more likely to be her. Because she is dying and is scared and though there is an operation .. the current stage does not look or sound good, she has a load of pain from the second biopsy and a load of other things besides and no one to talk to about it. I am not scared of me dying but I am her. She is not scared of dying, though it hurt to hear that, but she is of me and we are both fucking terrified about what is going to happen to her four children, my grandchildren.

This has even been talked about with the health professionals and my evil, lying, lazy conniving ex shocked a family suuport worker when she said "I cannot take all of them!" like she was buying rugs in a carpet store. No and I know exactly who she would take and who she would leave ..

Definitely take 'E' and very probably 'L2' but would definitely leave 'L1' and probably 'A'.

There .. a little prediction to destroy an entire local council later on should it get to that stage?!

So yeah the other shit I have had to put up with is because someone overheard something they should not and I said before they are a lot alike? Yeah well it was only a few years ago this person was moaning about someone else because they read text messages on his phone about herself that were none too flattering. Yeeeah .. she should not have been reading someone else's text messages about themselves on a phone that was no theirs?! Seems to work differently when your listening to someone having a private conversation in the next room.

#FACEPALM

Let us forget the fact that they take criticism like bloody children?! Though technically they wre not being criticised .. I was just explaining that things are a little frustrating at times and infuriating at other times.

I cannot go into detail about what my daughter and I speak about but it is not nice and would be shocking to anyone, both what it entails and the fact that it is said to me.

I can also tell you that I have not even told anyone I know of the things I am told and ..

.. what does that fucking tell you?!