THE WAIT

Oh my God-oh my God-oh my God!

Typed this out in a hurry on my phone before sticking it on charge to make sure I have enough battery for the next and very vital phone-call.

Ooh boy!

As if this morning wasn't bad enough?!

I'd been having a hard morning, it's also raining, and having a debate with myself about whether to go to hospital and have a row or ring '111' as I'm having anxiety and chest issues galore.

I then get a phonecall from my daughter which took my mind off it for awhile. Then she gets a call to say that my youngest granddaughter has had a fit in school and had to go. Worrying.

I remember being told she had, had fits when I lived there but nothing happened while I was there. In fact I thought maybe it was a one off thing and had since forgotten about it.

Bearing in mind at this point that my daughter had cervical cancer, older granddaughter is severely autistic .. except now they say she is not, despite being a massive problem to absolutely everybody. My daughter was also told she was being referred off over her own Fibromyalgia .. back in November 2017 and it's now April 2018 and nothing has come. Victim of domestic violence too and had to move house to which the council used the excuse to reduce her rent payments by 60%. Has a blood clot that was buggered up by not treating her correctly over her cervical cancer biopsy too and had a Doctor, only effing yesterday, forced to come out and say ..

"Couldn't you come down to the surgery for this?!"

Blood clot type red and yellow patches on her leg and back .. couldn't walk. Also had been in hospital over that the previous Saturday, Sunday and Monday and then asked to go to A&E to test for what they should have done on the Saturday.

I've had my daughter at her wits end and wanting to die over the stress this has caused.

I'm no longer there thanks to all these amoral, patronising, condescending tossers that work for what is now a 'Nanny State' of the worst kind because it has zero compassion.

So I lay here hoping everything is going to be OK and expecting a phone-call from my daughter from her home with the little one running around yabbering. That's not what I got ..

What I got was a video call with a half conscious little girl lying on a hospital bed with a tube down her throat and falling asleep. Me talking to her to keep her awake and her fighting and struggling to look at me on the phone screen. She couldn't manage it.

I thought she had been given drugs.

She had not been given drugs and my daughter has no idea why she is like that.

I'm currently terrified ..

I think I am goig to have a heart attack?!

Fuck .. the things I now want to type about this country, the NHS, the Local Council and the DWP who are now playing Russian Roulette with my grandchildren, daughter and .. quite obviously millions of people's lives.

Then there is this Alfie Evans crap going on.

Shit .. I should have told my daughter to remain calm because and I've told her before, of you lose it .. your automatically seen as being in the wrong. Because no one in the working class or lower is allowed to have any emotions. Also it helps draw attention away from themselves!

No I could say things far more derogatory and I could open up the offensive words dictionary but .. must .. hold .. back.

Fuck! This is going to be .. bloody tough!