THE EYES OF WONDER

When does one consider oneself free?

Despite the gentles caress the wind can give anyone the true feeling is but brief due to ones reality being in the opposite position.

Frredom lasts for us long and one can remain outsude the confinements of a buidling no matter of what the building materials may be. For our abode has become our prison in every sense.

We have piled upon us too many responsibilities while others require do do less in their own personal world and their chiefs wish to save money. A sharp divide there now is and obvious be it to those that are able to see.

On top of them all we are expected to be and with that maintain the other responsibilities that any one of us may acquire through decisions made in our lives. Some of these decisions may in first appearance appear to be mistakes and of this I have witnessed many. To those close is the blame laid when the reality is that the society in which we live has become selfish and unfair.

Normal people as expected to do more and more of thejobs others are paid to do or command far too much money for while living delusions that there chosen career puts them above everyone else. The divides have long been allowed to travel far wider than should reasonably be allowed and now the road back seems too far.

This command of ridiculous prices has affected all those who have fallen by the wayside bith pre and post one particular global financial crisis and still it persists and further wide it ever becomes.

One wonders to the religious beliefs of those who have allowed this or failing an christian attitudes that exist due to lack of religion one wonders as to the morals they possess which appears to be few. One wonders if they be spotted by cases of the beverage Horlicks left outside their homes if it were not for the fact that the doors were not more than a miles frm the electronic front gates?

I myself have considered my own positions once things have been achieved and what I would be doing a year from now. Myself and honestly so I could not turn my back on those that need my help and will always be there in one capacity or other.

My own presence will always be felt and heard of, this much is true and always will be if I am able to. But then there does not seem to be much else I would be doing in all honesty.

That which weighs many down does not me and I have not the responsibilities that many others do and I have truly felt for them these years gone by. Despite the fact I was warning of the mass sleepwalking that has gone on it remains that the pain suffered by the walkers will now be tortuous to many and of that I know. I also knew that over time it would grow and grow in numbers and that also many will seek help as I did only to find that none exists, despite the household names and acronyms that awash our minds for our entire lifetimes.

Despite me wanting to I have no one to look after, to make happy and to care for. The family I always wanted was never to be for me and the child I have I may as well be living on the moon....for now.

There are s0me things I may be able to help with and it is this this end that this blog exists are part thereof. Hopefuly I have managed to devise and plan while manipulating in such a way that eventually this will also reach its goals?

Outside of that I wil lalways look for things that I can do and even the cliché of saying the benefit of mankind, animals too, is never far from my thoughts. Why else would someone end up a scientist and almost every subject he was to choose from were all of one area of science or another.

My skillset I have vastly managed to increase over the years and still am despite the fact that some have managed to get neglected. I like to think it is a rther unique skillset that would be hard pressed to find no matter how far and wide one would travel?

There will be those that think their hardships far worse than mine and in these cases I can only but take them for their word and one wonders how they managed to survive unscathed?

I have been asked this very question so many times by so many people and this included health professionals and students alike throughout the years.

Dark were the places I rereated to and many a time one could not see how surviving could be possible and was convinced otherwise. Many around me only made it worse whether they knew, cared or otherwise and somewhow despite all this I came through.

Of those health professionals that asked me these questions many of which was no less than ten years ago missing events entirely that made all other pale into insignificance and then some.

One wonders of these students of times gone by have found themselves here and have scrambled through there notes to see if I am indeed the very person that faced them across a long conference table? If this was to ever occur I can only but wonder to the astonishment in their eyes and upon their face?

If the conference room was on the top floor of the Forest Road Medical Centre then indeed it is I than am feverishly typing away the deepest thoughts to post to all upon this blog.

Due to the amounts of people I am now reaching and the fact that the students must have numberer one hundred or more it is reasonable to assume that one of them will find their way here eventually.

As time gets old the changes before me will become more frequent in a shorter time than I even realize and this much will show itself over the next few months. It would be of a surprise indeed that the latter half of this year of 2014 as not replete with surprises aplenty.

Damn the sands of time as it does ell its attempts to shield things from my analytical view! Not easily does it give up its secrets unless plans are made and afoot that the outcome becomes inevitible. Even if not immediately so.

So thine eyes are always capable of wonder!