MAGIC BEANS

I'm sure that's what the government and everyone in public services thinks everyone has?

Magic Beans.

As it turns out the Doctors at the hospital appointment didn't actually know what the patient was there for!

So they talked about stuff for an hour or so, would you believe?!

Added to this I've been told that a child can't be diagnosed with Autism until they are four years old?!

How the fuck does that work and in cases where it's bloody obvious enough to cause problems what are parents expected to do? How are they supposed to cope?

We have the oldest of those with Autism turning four in February and a younger one who is still only two.

I am disgusted and shocked at this and had no idea things were like this for children.

I think people within the public service just go around with blinkers on?

They must see the world continuing to move on, people walking along still wearing clothes and think they can't need much help, support or money?

It's utter madness and once again I feel ashamed of my own country.

There must be other nations looking at us and either feeling quite sad for people or even laughing? It would not surprise me in the least.

We will have these hidden stashes of magic beans that we can just pour water on and whatever we need magically appears.

I'd actually laugh were out not so bloody sad and shame inducing.

At the hospital appointment the Doctors just don't seem to realise how tough things are.

I got told that at the hospital they had signs to stating that no filming or recording was permitted in the hospital. They had never seen this before. I said "Yeah they've had those up for around four years, it's because of me." They laughed. I told them they I didn't actually give a crap about the signs. I told them I filmed the sign or took a photograph of the sign at Barnet Hospital and published that in this blog four years ago.

Yeah ..

Funny how they do not want anyone recording in hospitals, is it not?

How many hospitals have ended up in the news, either on TV News shows, national or even local tabloids? A lot.

When I first contacted the news media, and believe me I sent a sea of stuff, I told them not to bother looking at the five GP Surgeries, six now and I am on the seventh, or the five hospitals I had experienced failing or lying.

The fact was that the lying was occurring 100% of the time across ten medical centres of one form or another and that I felt absolutely certain, never wrong when I feel this way, that if they visited either their local GP Surgery or nearest hospital the results would be the exact same.

I also highlighted the failures and withdrawal of support for mental health, as this was one of the first to be attacked in a stealth like fashion.

It only took something like seven years, could have been a little less than that, before it hit the headlines in the mainstream news. So judging by that snail like pace that the outdated news actually got to us you may get to hear about the failures I am hearing and reporting now .. around 2022?

Over the last year I have been hearing from and speaking to an ever increasing number of people who have had their lives turned upside down that suffer with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue (God help them) and even Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome about how the DWP are trying, in their own words, to kill them off.

I can tell you that for 8 years it has certainly felt to me as if they just want me to crawl away and die and I saw one poster put that exact same line on a Facebook page for Universal Credit. She also had Fibromyalgia.

It would be far more humane to just supply us with arsenic or a cyanide pill than to do what they are doing. I am most deadly serious about this too.

One of the things that I ask myself a great deal is how my four grandchildren are going to survive in a future that, due to where w are heading, is going to be one of the worst places in the world to live. That is if it is not already?

Lately things have become more .. conflicted .. internally. I still want the pain to all end and I cannot believe this considering how much I panned and spent to .. go it alone, so to speak. I am conflicted because I have a family that need me while I have public services still trying to make my life as miserable as it can be while my symptoms are aggravated beyond the boundary of the ridiculous.

Considering the seriousness of the situation and that it is a family of six this is happening to, with four of those being children, it simply begs belief.

I am living in a failed society waiting to happen. Or worse?

EQUIPMENT AT THE READY!

Well I'm sitting in St Catherine's Hospital and feeling .. weird and a little .. anxious.

I know this appointment won't come to much especially as I discovered this isn't the fast-track appointment I was told I was getting. That then comes from this one .. or if I get called back due a second appointment here?

But as well as this is the full MRI happening to someone else at 12.40pm.

I probably won't be able to put the tags on this until later on tonight and even then only when the two girls are asleep. You just can't do anything while they are awake.

Then we both feel shattered and we both have the short term memory part of Fibromyalgia anyway.

This are very simply .. impossible.

We are basically just struggling by while trying every now and then to reach out to get help.

At least we had a letter regarding what I believe to be the audiology test around the 5th December, I think it was.

A test for the youngest boy I wasn't even aware was tested came back OK, so no ADHD. Just a plain old needy child that thinks the rules apply to his three siblings and not him. Lol.

Last night good older brother was being called who didn't hear us. But the ten year-olds five year old brother heard us from his bed and started shouting downstairs to him. In the hope he would be told it's bedtime. Because he doesn't understand that being twice his age means he stays to longer. It's kinda funny.

I'm not really used to all this, never had children around to watch grow up.

I don't know what children do and at what age.

As I have said to several people here in making it up as I go along.

I'm getting tired all the time and it's getting worse but I've absolutely nowhere where I can relax.

The few times I get back to my own flat for a few hours I simply cannot relax there either.

But none of that had been on my mind for days because there is so much else going on all the time.

Of course this got a whole lot worse around a week ago and I literally don't know whether I'm coming or going.

I'm always one to have clean clothing on but I've only just managed to wash a load of clothes .. oops ..

Got called in.

Usual crap tests .. ECG which showed a little as did the blood pressure test ..

170/110

As I noted in the letter this is not what the GP referred to as a fast-track appointment.

In fact now I've been in the hospital a second time in not quite so sure it's a hospital. In fact it's more like an oversized GP Surgery and appears to have no beds/wards?

Not entirely sure what the point was with the building .. especially as it looks like it costs millions to build?

Anyway as I knew .. I was told to stop smoking .. it won't really do very much at all and I fucking hate it when they tell you that ..

.. so I told my usual story about turning down the offer of a Doctorate at Middlesex University where I would have worked on the software to teach keyhole surgeons how to do surgery.

Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened with shock. I normally get surprised reactions but not to this level. She said I should have accepted, I said "I know".

I only tell this story to stop being patronised and hearing the same shit. The 'stop smoking' line.

The fact is I have quit .. TWICE!!

Up until the DWP came along and fecked with everything I had not smoked for three years.

Up until the DWP pulled the rug from under me.

I then found out about my daughter's domestic violence which is a historical court case with the perpetrator locked up, though still phoning my daughter and her mother up to 165 times a night.

I then found out one of my grandchildren was autistic, which made a lot of sense.

I was at starting to realise my daughter already had my disability. Quite a few symptoms I had plus I was noticing some I didn't.

There were some female specific issues that I just assumed must be parts of Fibromyalgia that I just hadn't read about. But no.

I had already started smoking at this point .. now it must be stressed that I not only have no confidence whatsoever is ANY public service or their governing bodies and watchdogs, or the courts for that matter, but I knew they lied.

I knew that this lying would ultimately lead to consequences later on. So did nurses as well as pharmacists I had spoken to. So did two GPs.

At least you can tell with a small percentage of petite that they became Doctors and Specialists to actually help people and not for the salary.

As she was telling her GP of her Fibromyalgia this then explained several things the GP had been wondering about. But then there were those other things ..

These have appeared to several, yup now several due to a clinical meeting, General Practitioners and Specialists to look like something else .. something not good.

Then there was something else .. then there was something else in a follow up appointment.

Battery of tests, return to GP and then there was something else.

Leaving aside the Fibromyalgia confirmation we have had no less than FOUR extra things all of which don't look good at all.

So what I was going to state earlier in the post is that I was worried about a later appointment I'm not even present at.

In fact as in typing this out this other appointment should be with done or about half way through.

It's a full body MRI and at a cost between £3,000 to £5,000 when I last looked .. they simply don't perform these unless they are worried. Very .. worried.

I know because I've asked for one for over ten years, see the problem here? I almost nearly had one performed privately. That's how I know the minimum cost. It was somewhere in the vicinity of Canary Wharf?

So yeah .. stop smoking? Your joking right?

This would be an unreasonable expectation anyway with everything that is, or indeed is not, going on. Throw in the cursed anxiety and you might as well kill me right now.

In fact I stated recently that things have been bad at times where I just wished I would die and it was all over with.

This is not once or twice and it's not even in the single figure ball-park.

It's well into double figures and wouldn't be too surprised if it was into three figures.

After awhile you just want to to end.

There's a list of things which invariably are behind this and any one can have you wishing to God that someone would just switch off the proverbial lights!

The anxiety is one and the others are a number of pains in different parts of my body.

And I'm only talking about mine!

Now I have to think about what's its like for someone else who has serious complications thrown into that mix.

Then the fact that there is no one to rely on one hundred percent. Even the one that is around is now not trusted by the council of all people. So relying on them won't go down well with the council of anything happens!

That's because of four children on the endangered, I think it's called, register. Two of which are autistic which can be OK at times, good sometimes, bad at others and a trip into hell but with embarrassment sometimes thrown in at others.

My mind .. boggles. When it had the chance and gets the time to .. well, boggle.

It's been .. boggling for weeks. It boggles more and more all the time and I'm sure it's a few weeks from leveling out?

So I sit here awaiting someone's return and I have more tests at Arrow Park Hospital the day after Boxing Day.

An Echocardiogram followed by a 24 hour .. umm Echocardiogram. Wait let me check? Yup.

Oh that's .. weird. She said Arrow Park but it seems that it's the same hospital?

Ahh .. unless there is another one to come through the post?

Yeah .. memory problems .. simply can't recall everything .. often .. of I can recall anything at all.

My daughter has the exact same thing too.

Hmm ..

Well they have returned. Only I'm somewhat confused ..

No MRI was performed?!

The person who accompanied the patient said that all they did was sit there and talk about things. Things?

Of course as the the course of a usual day for us .. there was only minutes to spare before I was left with the two young girls again and other children had to be picked up from school.

At least my chest pains and heart palpitations were aggravated by children having meltdowns, fights, arguing, screaming for things.

Well .. the second time they went out one screamed for something. Until I said I'd give it to her if she was quiet. But then I knew it would be mere seconds be the other one spotted the youngest one with a biscuit and a slice of bread and started.

Then it went back to being quiet. Thankfully. The only other thing is having to put up with mind melting children's videos with have had to endure over and over again.

Well .. this time and desire their previous negative responses and shouts of "NO?!" I have managed to put on two or three things in the last few days they were then glued to.

Right now it's Oscar's Oasis which can be found on Netflix.

Finding something that one autistic child likes outside of their 'norm' or comfort zone is hard enough. Finding one that pleases two is a nightmare.

Oh then there is needy-boy who only ever wants to watch Spider-Man or someone playing a Lego game that he then thinks he is playing. Pressing his knees like they are buttons. He becomes transfixed and you can tell his name and he wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Say a sentence was a particular food word in it and somehow they all hear that?! Has to be particular foods though ..

Pizza, chips, biscuits, yoghurt, chocolate, drink, milkshake and crisps are all key-words they react to. Oh the youngest loves bread. Oh and toast and cereal is another one.

Oddly the older of the autistic children seems to go against everything you offer her. Offer one flavour of crisps and she shouts "no" and demands a particular colour packet. Most of the time though she then brings you the uneaten packet, hands then you you and says "Don't like it!"

Point at a cereal and she demands a different one and the same thing as the crisps can take place with "Don't like it!"

The wastage of food is indescribable. Seems almost criminal to me with the cost of food today and people .. well some people, not self inflicted, going starving.

Speaking of self-inflicted?

One couple had one half of them convinced they were getting two payments before Christmas of Universal Credit.

One 4 year old and one on the way.

Turns out they haven't and despite being warned by others the one convinced had a little bit of a spend.

Now things look .. precarious.

Now I have to wait to find out what in the world happened today?

I ended up in terrible pain just prior to them leaving to go to the hospital.

I looked after the two girls and they wanted to cancel the appointment because of this but I said "NO! Your going!"

Oops .. seems Oscar didn't last and I've had to resort to watching Peppa Pig fit the hundredth time!

The other children's program they like is called Gon, seemingly about a young Dinosaur or Lizard.

SERVED COLD

Once again and this is the sixth meeting now .. only one person turned up.

Of course I didn't need to ask but it was the trusty health visitor who only got told about the meeting this morning! But she came anyway.

This time the Independent Review Officer didn't even arrive until very late on, now I do not trust her either, but stated that she was going to type up a strongly worded letter.

Maybe I am being too harsh on my knee-jerk reaction to the IRO not being there? Maybe she just thought that as no one ever turns up what was the point in attending? But if this was the case it was fucking unfair to expect a mother with some .. now even more serious health issues, a full body MRI taking place tomorrow after being told just a few ours ago, with four children to get to and from various levels of school and nursery, two of those being autistic and one .. needy and wanting to be the centre of attention all the time.

Well let's see but that should have happened after two no-one shows. Not five no-one shows.

Don't be surprised if you see Wirral Council appearing in the news pretty soon.

But then I don't trust the news media anyway as many returning visits to my blogs know.

After typing that above Wirral Council appeared on the TV to do with the things I was involved in back in around 2010-12. Not good. Not good for the news media because this stuff went on .. well back in 2011 and a fact they they themselves admitted, BBC North West to be precise, but is only being reported upon now?! I feel like Robert Palmer when I state 'simply unbelievable'!

So now and after seeing a reporter standing outside the Wirral Council building while talking about what I believe to be paedophile accusations it would seem that Wirral Council have been otherwise .. preoccupied?!

Huh? Well this would seem something that would scare the shit out of them enough to not turn up to meetings about one of the worst cases of a family in need for many a mile? No excuse though!

If you dig back into this blog into the years of 2011-13 you will find plenty of posts about it and you will find links to recordings with the Police, Wirral Council and even the perpetrators themselves. I do not know if any of those I was involve with have been named, I did not immediately realise what they were talking about.

One thing is certain though ..

If this report from 2011 is to do with me and I cannot see how it cannot be, then what I am going to do to them over the next 6 months to a year is not going to be kind to them. Not by a long shot.

I warned them back in 2012 that I could do the damage that I did to them from a distance of 250 miles away and that if any of them forced me into coming up here for any length of time I will make what I did to them previously look like the proverbial 'walk in the park'.

It seems quite fitting that this story might slowly leak out just as I am compiling something else against them that results in the neglect and known endangerment of children right across the county.

I would not want to be in their shoes for all the tea in China!

I have looked at this in a bit more depth now and this is only a bloody small part of what has been going on, or at least was, in both Birkenhead and Liverpool.

Just for the record I am within a mile of that shop. Right now!

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/grave-errors-allowed-paedophile-wirral-13967942

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/shop-used-paedophile-brothers-exploit-13921271

Not to mention that along with a damning report by Ofsted .. they were criticised over a school report row for what they made someone with Autism do.

Autism?

Ooh .. funny that?!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-39054508

I think there will be yet another report in the coming months? LMAO!

REASONS TO NOT BE HOMELESS 1, 2, 3

Well here is a bizarre one ..

It seems it is still illegal to be homeless n this country because of a law that has existed since 1824 that though England and Wales still have was gotten rid of decades ago by Scotland and Ireland.

There is a petition to repeal this law ..

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/205388

THE LINKS OF DESTRUCTION

I am in .. shock. Have been for around 30 minutes or so and that shock as just been compounded by more .. shock.

I had an MRI on my head some months ago now .. hmm let me think. It was around last September or October 2016. Could have been a little earlier?

I was convinced I would be told I had a brain tumour and despite people telling me not to panic or think the worst I had to tell them that I was not really bothered nor panicking.

It was only ever annoying when one of the governments Wolves were yapping at the door like a devil's spawn on heat. Well I do call the the 'evil trinity' after all.

So in between a large amount of Doctor and hospital appointments for someone .. close to me .. very close in fact .. I have my own appointment to do with my heart palpitations, tightness and chest pain imminent. This always leaves me breathless and coming to a halt and is added to several other things that can have me coming to a halt of falling unconscious. But a I said, they found nothing.

Or did they?

For the last twenty four hours or so I have been asking myself of the NHS have actually done it yet again. Seen something that is a long way off from being a problem, or even fatal, and decided to state that there was nothing there? They have done it before. They also told me post head MRI that my results would be in, in two weeks. Results take six to eight weeks except in the instances where they find cancer and then it is two weeks.

It was on the wall in the fucking MRI waiting room, before any misguided do-gooders or jobsworths state any smart comments they will later regret.

But this morning we got a phone-call .. the person closest to me than anyone and with all the testing and nervous GP's and Hospitals was told they had to go in for another blood test because their folic acid tested very low.

Yeah .. they did not tell us but it did not take long to discover that this was a sign of the very thing we have now been dreading .. cervical cancer!

It then got worse .. upon returning home she took one look at me an said .. "Your not going to believe this! The Doctor/Hospital called and they want me in for a full body MRI .. TOMORROW!!"

All I could do once she passed me in the porch is look at the floor in disbelief.

This was something I had actually asked for, for many years and nearly spent £3,000 having one done but the NHS tried very hard to put me off having one with all sorts of reasons, like the resolution being crap for one and not being able to detect anything from them anyway. Yeah .. that is why they cost three fucking grand .. because you don't see anything!

A friend of this person has not even been told about a breast lump that has now been found and i am not even sure she has been told about the issue with the eyes either. This eye thing could be Hyperpituatarism or .. something else.

As I stated previously there is a lump in the stomach, they insisted she was pregnant, she told them that this was not possible and they did the test anyway. Which, naturally, came back negative!

I have now been forced to feel this lump and there is a lump .. all I could think to say was that this could just be a really bad stomach ulcer or even an abdominal hernia. Anything to take away the thought that it could also be cancer and a link or something that has spread from somewhere else, like the cervix or breast, if the latter turned out to be cancer either as well as or indeed instead of the other.

I am .. .. I am not really sure what I am. I am still trying to cling on to the hope that this will turn out to be nothing. But they have reacted enough now that telling her friend who has no one other than her .. of what has occurred either yesterday or today.

I myself fear for her reaction.

I have been here and seen and heard enough things now to know that she would be distraught and I am not even sure what I will be like because I am simply not thinking about the worst case scenario.

And then I look at the four kids and something .. just kinda dies .. inside me. I do not know which is harder right now?

The funny thing is that i suddenly remembered my thoughts about the NHS lying to me about the head MRI. As I was thinking about this I suddenly recalled that I possessed another lump. And then I remembered I had yet another lump that in recent years I have become convinced was somehow wrongly diagnosed despite having two endoscopes for it. They also switched the dates and diagnosis from these endoscopes around, they were 20 years apart! How could they possibly make such a fucking blunder and the only other possibility is that it was deliberate. If it is the latter case, they why?

I am afraid ot comes back to a question that a lot of people are asked when they register with a GP, though the one in the living room with me .. does not recall being asked it many other I know have ..

"Do you work?"

Not ..

"Do you or have you ever worked with Asbestos or any other substance hat could cause lung and/or breathing problems, skin lesions, cancer and the like?"

I would not have batted a single eyelash over the latter question but I suddenly asked myself what you could possibly glean from whether someone works or not that could be linked in any way, shape or form to one's health?

The answer is nothing.

What they could glean is whether they deemed you worthy or not for treatment .. especially the expensive ones.

I recall mentioning something to m old pharmacist and he surprised my by agreeing with me that there were things afoot within the NHS, like a nurse at Chase Farm Hospital before him.

He stated that he had previously had to stop ordering a number of medications because the number of prescriptions had dropped radically and as they all had use by dates on them they were just throwing them away. This cost pharmacists money and he said that was obviously something that they did not think about when they tarted pulling their new tricks.

He also went on to state that this was all a huge time bomb waiting to happen. When I asked him to explain what he meant he said that the majority of medical complications would only fester or get progressively worse .. compounding the cost as well as the suffering later on.

Though I was completely surprised I was actually more annoyed that this had not occurred to me previously.

So I was thinking about this possible connection in lumps while at the same time thinking about the fact that cancer had been a scare, though not so much in me, with the two of us and then I remembered the meaning of the word 'syndrome'.

So I looked at the other person n the room, though there were four until a few minutes ago, and said .. "I think I am going to Google  couple of things?"

I just looked at the other person in this household and said "I am just too good at this" and read out excerpts from the page below.

As it turns out there seems to be a link between people with Fibromyalgia and developing a high risk of developing cancer.

This invariably means lumps .. lumps that they have found within my body and then either wrongly diagnosed or were not able to identify and therefore not worthy of their time and sent away.

That was six out of six GP's across five out of five surgeries all within Enfield alone.

Since I have been here I have found that this lackadaisical attitude also occurs within the borough of Wirral and we now have to spend a couple of weeks on a white-knuckle fear ride wondering whether nor not this is going to be the ultimate cost to a couple of adults treated like crap all their lives and then the cost of the four children that may be left behind?

Referring to it as a white-knuckle ride might be something of an understatement and then some.

I am currently on a knife edge .. with those I care about teetering behind me and the NHS, DWP, Wirral Council teetering on the edge in front of me an because of and because they are invitably chained to the the government are there too.

I am facing the evil trinity and the puppeteers puppets and wearing a humongous pair of jackboots on and I am getting ready to kick their arses off that knife edge as hard as I possibly can.

Might seem strange to some while sensible to others but I hope I do not have to pay the ultimate price just to expose this evil society for what it truly is.

None other then WebMD ..

https://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/news/20030602/body-pain-linked-to-higher-cancer-rates#1


The odd question .. on Macmillan no less ..

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/new_to_the_site/f/196/t/122442


And how about this from Phoenix Rising?

Whittemore -Peterson Neuro- Immune Institute researchers have uncovered a possible cancer subset in chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) (See The Hit of the Conference: IACFS/ME Conference II).  In this guest blog Yvonne Kenney, the founder of the Fibromyalgia Coalition International, reports on some preliminary evidence suggesting that the cancer problem may not be limited to ME/CFS.  More evidence suggests that  high levels of pain lead to increased rates of mortality not just suicide but  possibly from heart disease, stroke and other illnessess.

FM/CFS/ME patients are told that these illnesses are not fatal. This is simply wrong! I have spoken with more than 10,000 patients over the past 11 years and concluded long ago that FM/CFS/ME patients have a higher rate of cancer, heart attacks, stroke, and suicide than the rest of the population. - Posted by Cort Johnson

http://phoenixrising.me/archives/590

OOPS!!

A LITTLE PATREON POST UPDATE

Click on the link below the picture to read the latest on the failures of public services ..

https://www.patreon.com/posts/15595880

THE ROYAL BURIALS

Well I simply do not believe it.

At the same time and just as I said to my daughter .. well two things actually ..

First I find myself posting several posts and then another pops up I simply have to link and post about.

The other one on this day of the announcement of another royal wedding is that I cannot help but think this will be used to bury stuff. You know like I mentioned in my last post .. or was it the one before the last post? I cannot recall.

So Prince Harry is getting married to Angela Merkel? No wait? Meghan Merkel? Meghan Gherkin? Meghan Markle? Yeah that is it!

Huh, so much for the news media lading her as a famous actress, yeah now, because I had never heard of her or the things you has appeared in. Yeah OK that does not amount to much because I simply do not watch TV .. but my daughter does and she stated the exact same thing!

While talking about it I stated that it worried me after she said that it seemed a bit weird even in its timing and I said that I was worried that they would bury some things that would otherwise piss of much of the British public.

Not thirty minutes had passed by and a previous blog post regarding Conservative Party bullshit and .. I get myself tagged in a couple of things on Facebook. One a vaper claiing to have the best vape tricks that had me covering my face with laughter.

But another is a story by the Mirror tabloid and on its webpage states that just 21 minutes after the Royal announcement the Tories announced that benefits were to be frozen for another three years while jobs in the public sector have had their pay cap removed.

You know those public sector people? The ones I am constantly stating and later proving do not do their jobs properly, if at all?

Those that I have reported have not turned up to four out of five meetings to do with four vulnerable children being looked after by two disabled people and having offered absolutely nothing in the way of support. Yeah those public sector people.

But do not take my word for it ..

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/millions-benefits-frozen-tories-confirm-11596715#ICID=sharebar_facebook

NO GLORY IN TORY

Well I thought I would have a little snoop around to see what I can find.

After spending several periods of the day on the Stop Universal Credit Facebook page and speaking to several people and answering questions in between marauding and screaming children, new health scares and .. inept women, or more accurately woman, I wondered what might be .. out there.

The one thing that has annoyed me is that the Conservative Party have consistently talked about the wonders they have single handedly performed. Except they have been doing this for like 7 years, it seems, and that .. I have seen absolutely no evidence of this and the one thing they would .. probably dearly love to stop doing is .. kicking disabled people and mental health sufferers in the teeth and gonads.

After all if you have done wonderful things for people then why are you kicking all of the vulnerable people in the teeth and in the gonads?

If they are only worthy of this sort of treatment then who the fuck have you been helping?!

Those with money?

Funny .. I had money recently and thought I would capitalise on the Conservative's core principles and start my own business. Only that went tits-up after a bunch of broken promises were followed by a whole bunch of lies before they pulled the proverbial rug from under me.

I fucking hate the Conservatives with a passion! LMAO!

You simply cannot trust anything they say and they do not even stand for the things that they claim to and I cannot think of a single party that would be looked back on with disgust in the history books of the future, a prediction I am always going on about.

Sometimes they say things that make sense to me. Sometimes they make promises I look forward to and yet time and time again they go and disappoint me.

Because of this I have never voted for them and never will. Well .. not unless they were all mostly killed, the toff ones like IDS and co, in some bizarre plane crash and the whole party was rebuilt with all new and down to Earth people. One can only hope, lmao.

SO I found this page I have listed below on a website that researches taxes and in a report a journalist by the name of Richard Murphy state that the Tories annoy him because ..

In 2016 I showed that the Tories have been the biggest borrowers since 1946 – Richard Murphy of taxresearch.org.uk

http://www.taxresearch.org.uk/Blog/2017/11/27/the-tories-created-two-thirds-of-the-uks-national-debt/

So what the fuck are they doing?

Well other than lying, which the smartest of us are all now accustomed to them doing.

Even the headline states that the Tories created two thirds of the nation's debt. Even that one surprised me and I thought, if true and it seems an odd thing to lie about or fabricate, I will get even more furious with them than I already am!

I did not even think that was possible! Hating them even ore than I do.

But then I think all of the politicians are just mere .. puppets and what it is I would dearly love to find out is who indeed are the puppeteers?! Yeah there are a lot of claims about who pulls what strings and the best I came up with was provided to me by someone else. That was Serco and I will never forget reading their About US page where the actually boasted about very almost all, if not indeed all, the UK's public services. Military, Police, NHS, DWP and Local Councils among others with the best part being them claiming to be British owned when they are in actual fact American owned.

I bet as I have been posting about that 'About Us' page for the last 3 years that it is either no longer there or reads very differently to what it did when I read it?

So are they the puppeteers or just another line of muppet-puppets?

Another interesting one was that very weird snap-election that backfired in such a way that I have constantly asked myself why in the world they called it in the first instance?

How could you get it so wrong and there must have been an element of doubt so why would you call it if there was an existing element of said doubt?

How about if they called it to bury the Conservative Party expenses? Like in this link below?

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/dennis-skinner-theresa-may-general-election-2017-tory-expenses-scandal-investigation-2015-labour-mp-a7694826.html

With all being said one has to ask how the news networks can be such fools to see one thing and then miss 'all the heavenly glory' (Bruce Lee – Enter The Dragon)?

But them I have long suspected the news networks and media in general and just think that thye could not possibly be that blind and naïve and must be part of the plan?

'Yeah .. run this for days or weeks and we will give you incentives to just ignore this and that while you are running with the other'?

Yeah .. I would call that burying with the aid of the news media.

Hmm another website I came across that might contain some interesting information has a Union Flag with the words 'Broken Britain' emblazoned across it.

It did, at least at first, seem like a left-wing website but from what it states about Jeremy Corbyn and are not under the illusion that he will win the next election .. I am not so sure.

Also and down the right side of the webpage are all sorts of links from Asia to children and politics to computing so all manner of things may be waiting to be found via this site.

This particular page seems to be about bribery and corruption in high places?

http://www.rightsandwrongs.co.uk/quick-links/136-politics-britain/30515-rightsandwrongs-bribery-and-corruption-in-high-places

AND STILL THERE WAS ONE

Well we had another meeting today.

Well .. I didn't .. mores the pity. My daughter did and once again it was a meeting with what are supposed to be several staff from the social workers department, bosses I believe and other Wirral Council staff.

I have wrongly, or more accurately omitted to, report previously that someone from the youngest girls nursery is supposed to be in attendance.

Along with them is supposed to be someone from the school as well. Maybe several as three children go to the same school.

Also meant to be present is someone from Victim Support too.

Another meant to be in attendance of those of which I am aware, is a health visitor.

Lastly is an Independent Review Officer who I am told hails from Northampton, oddly a place I visited for the first time briefly before I moved to the Wirral.

These are for four children on the at-risk register and two of which have now been diagnosed, albeit short of an academic audiology test that clearly is not needed and only a means as yet another in a long line of stall tactics.

This was meeting was number five.

Everyone was present at the first meeting as far as I know.

Since then every subsequent meeting there has only been one person in attendance and today was no different bar one thing. The health visitor did not attend and this not only was the first time the only one I deemed as professional failed to turn up but had previously warned that she could not make it this particular Monday anyway.

So how is it that .. the only one to arrive regularly and on time could not get a meeting date that she could actually attend?

Bizarrely and as the title suggests .. one did turn up and this time it was the social worker. She was flabbergasted that no one else turned up, tried to book a room and was told they were all booked up and stated that he had worked with a number of councils and had never come across one like this one.

I was kind of expecting that sort of reaction from her but I did not expect her to actually say it. I guess that given the embarrassment of said situation she felt compelled .. to say .. something?

“No wonder children are dying around here all the time?!” My daughter stated to me after once again stating that there was a no show from almost everyone.

“Yeah .. funny how it is completely ignored by the news media despite them being fifty yards from this door when that Policeman was killed deploying a spike-strip?!” I replied.

Oddly there had been a rumour among the locals that stated that this Policeman had not ha the proper training in the deployment of spike-strips. That did not seem to get any reporting either.

As I said .. two children have died within fifty yards or so of that Policeman dying and one of the worst cases or domestic violence of which the legal case will be classed as historical. Plus an entire family mostly consisting of disabled children and adults who are not only a victim of said domestic violence but also ignored and not offered one iota of help from anyone either have also gone unnoticed.

My mind boggles at te thought of the number of things to occur within the UK that were previously right under the noses of so-called professional and research journalists?

I am afraid they have become like film celebrities for the most part .. too bothered about their image and fame to realise what is going on right, fucking, behind them.

Currently I am awaiting news of some hospital tests concerning someone close to me while I have an autistic duo that have somehow managed to avoid having a double meltdown. It has come close, believe me.

So the complaint has now been escalated .. again! I simply said “Umm .. exactly how many times is this going to be 'escalated' before this Independent Review Officer does something?!”

Remember .. they can make all te noises in the world and they might thik that they say all the correct things but .. I learnt long ago to take no notice. Words mean absolutely nothing to me in any way shape or form. Nothing has even come of the use of words whether in the form or encouragement, promises or otherwise.

So today we had to get the kids to school, go to a meeting in the pouring rain on foot that a bunch of people supposed to be professionals and have cars given to them cannot be bothered to turn up to. We were supposed to look inside a new house and maybe that is going on right now? A hospital visit an calposcopy to rule out the dreaded 'C' word and then pick the remaining kids up from school? Oh, wait? A friend is picking one up from school and will be here at 4am, or around thirty minutes at the time of typing.

Oh and we had two do two bits of shopping and as I have now heard from the DVLA for the first time in two months, I had photos to get for my drivers licence. Yeah .. I still have not gotten around to doing that!

Oh and there were two other things I was meant to do today, check out my nearside rear wheel as it seems to be leaking air and … fill and in and send off some forms. Tomorrow it is then?! SIGH

The funny thing is that when Rotherham Council was deemed 'not fit for purpose' I expected several others to follow on from that. I certainly expected Wirral Council to follow on as a second place?!

You simply cannot tell me that Rotherham Council was the only bad egg out of several full baskets of eggs?! No bloody way!

So where are all the others?

Yeah .. I cannot help but continue to think that I have thought for a long time and that is that the things we get to hear reports on are not even ten percent of all that goes on and situations where they were used as scapegoats, getting thrown under the bus, so to speak, to then be able to bury anything else they know is rotten to its very core?

No matter the industry and both public and private .. none of them cease to amaze me .. well, to a degree. I know that each one I deal with will I turn, tu out to be lying conning tricksters loaded to the brim with naïve jobs-worths. I am just always slightly surprised when I find yet another one in what is a very long list and has a failure ratio of 100%.

Oh crap!

There was a long pause before I typed 'oh crap' and something has occurred. It is not good.

I had previously stated that we both have serious issues going on as well as the usual spate from our shared disability.

In the past .. it has been hard to tell whether any of the more serious things that have occurred with me have been something .. separate or down to the Fibromyalgia.

My previous GP practice was quick to put things down to my Fibromyalgia while my new GP has stated that it is dangerous to do that, which was pretty much obvious to me previously.

Of these are the very high blood pressure readings at rest, in the area of Hypertension Stage 2 and Hypertensive Crisis a majority of the time.

If that alone was not bad enough then combine that with postural hypotension where raising from a seated, crouched or lying position where your blood pressure drops a lot and .. whammo. Your out of it and either blacking out, greying out or passing out completely. Forgetting everything else the falls alone are dangerous depending on where you are unless your a compete moron.

My right knee pain turned out to be a physical thing and not down to the Fibromyalgia so you could remove that from the 120 odd symptoms I have experienced that could be the Fibromyalgia.

The there was the anxiety attacks as a result of the DWP just cancelling everything 18 month back an suddenly my legs do not work, turning out to be something called Fibromyalgia Rubber Legs that once a fucking gain I had to diagnose myself.

Then I had these odd spurts of discomfort in my chest that I ignored until a few times when they were quite strong, very distracting and had me wondering whether I was having a heart attack or angina?

As stated previously somewhere between the middle of 2016 and up until September 2017 I found myself in Accident & Emergency three times without even calling '999' a single time. Despite spraying something under my tongue they use in the event of a heart attack this is not what I had. They never found out what these symptoms were .. though they were worried enough about test results to take me into A&E those three times.

As I have also stated the very last time was like two weeks or slightly less before moving here to the Wirral to help my daughter and try and held my grandchildren and am admittedly way out of my depth and doubt whether I help every single day.

Only since being here those chest pains, tightness and heart palpitations have increased and I have noted that the irregular heart beat symbol has not only been displaying but working my way through the memory it has been going off for a very long time, probably more than a year?

A bloody cardiologst they want to refer me to just before I go away!

Sorry .. I just have not been able to get over that just as several people I know have not been able to get over it either.

The appointment is this Thursday as I finally managed to arrange it while up here and it is a rapid appointment, or something he called it.

Except despite that being a slight concern .. only in that if anything happens to me then I am no longer a help to my daughter or grandchildren .. or anyone on here for that matter. No that is not the concern.

The concern was first getting the confirmed diagnosis of the same thing with my daughter and .. well .. something else sorted out. But on doing those two things .. two other things have reared their ugly heads.

After a couple of visits a couple of days back today was an more .. internal examination and after a long day doing other things in-between and not even finding the time to look at an unsuitable house that has been offered .. the internal exam was done.

I had a female friend in the house and we were just chatting about things when her face changed an glanced past me through the living room window. She said that she was back, not looking good and moving slowly.

I leapt up to go and unlock the door and barely walking she came in with another woman in tow looking .. scared. Scared for the first time ever in thirty years that I have ever witnessed. More scared than when I took her to high court, even.

This was not what I expected, not what I expected at all and suddenly something that I had thought and had hoped would be routine was nothing of the kind.

Some details were explained to me that I have not been able to comment on in any way, shape or form and .. a biopsy that was not expected was taken.

I text one person I know back down south who had previously played it all down, stated it was routine stuff despite how good I am at .. reading between the lines, and is male. So did not really count.

But one woman down south said the same thing and that she had, had it and that it cleared up by the tome he was checked. Umm .. no. She had failed to realise or remember just how good a researcher I am and I pointed out that in her case there was no infection to the virus and that when there is it .. remains. For good. Also that depending on the type of the virus and/or infection which normally has a number associated with it, depends on whether or not this now permanent infect virus can increase the chance of a cancer you do not really want.

Yeah .. not only is it THAT type of infected virus but .. they have now see it and needed to not only take a biopsy but also even talked about treatments available which was, for me, not the right time to mention this.

I have to text this other person but the first one, the guy in the equation, simply answered “Oh dear!” when I text him.

Oh dear indeed and I replied by stating that he simply cannot believe the crap going through my head right now. Because there are four children that have to be thought about not to mention a childhood friend I thin will have a breakdown over this and while she is heavily pregnant too!

As was put to me a couple of times in the last couple of weeks ..

“Dad? Why does this crap keep happening to us?”

“Corrupt, lazy and greedy pubic services, I'm afraid”

A shame my Patreon page has not burst into life.

IF THE CARBON CAP FITS

Hmm a little thing to remind the carbon neutral freaks so convinced of their facts that are notig of the kind.

Before long we may actually be in shortage of carbon, would you actually believe?

The reason for this I have covered previously and that involves what is in essence a two dimensional material called Graphene. It is referred to as 'two dimensional' because it is comprised of carbon that is compressed so that it is, in fact, one atom thick. When it is compressed into this thickness it foregoes a change in its structure that becomes like that of a honeycomb. A six sided two dimensional structure that we already know is stronger than your average structure when formed in any other way.

I guess we should have paid more attention to Bees and their Hives, eh?

To give you an idea of the importance of this material I will first explain a couple of things and the very, very first thing should be really, really obvious.

First off .. carbon, as many should already know, is very light anyway. Graphite is what makes up the writing element of your average pencil. Everyone knows that this is very light.

Soo .. if it is spread so that it a single atom think .. how much would you need to consider a section as 'heavy' in weight? My guestimate would be a hell of a lot of it, or a very big piece of it.

• Except Graphene is 200 times stronger than steel

Now imagine the amount of weight of your average spacecraft, like the Space Shuttle for instance?

Imagine how thick the materials must be with every cubic mm of it somewhat heavier than the same amount of Graphene. Except at only one atom thick you need a hell of a lot less of it. So the weight savings and therefore fuel savings would be .. astronomical, pardon the pun.

A breakthrough along similar lines as Graphene and you really will see things change in ways that you could never possibly imagine.

As of right now once they have mastered the application of Grapehene when it comes to both spacecraft and rocket panelling and .. the solar system will become a much smaller place to visit and explore.

Imagine then a breakthrough in propulsion technology and the sky, quite literally, is the limit.

Let us try a few more ..

• Not only is the world's first two dimensional material but is a million times smaller than the human hair
• It is electrically and thermally conductive
• It is transparent

Due to these other qualities a number of of technologies can capitalise on this new wonder material once it has been fully controlled in its applications ..

ELECTRONICS ..

• Improves touch-screens for phones and tablets
• Making circuitry for computers to enable them to be a great deal faster
• Wearable Technology
• Graphene Transistors, they have created the world's smallest, and Semiconductors that conduct electricity at room temperature

ENERGY ..

• Graphene applied to batteries could dramatically increase the life while holding more power and for longer which is seriously needed with phones, tablets ad even e-cigarettes or vape kits to name just two
• Super-capacitors will provide a lot more power for far less energy while making things like trucks, cars, motorbikes and even aircraft save weight

SENSORS ..

• Food packaging that can detect a change in the atmosphere to alert buyers of whether the food has gone off .. preventing illnesses
• Chemical changes on a molecular level, ideas still pending
• Monitor crops for harmful gasses
• Detection of chemical warfare

COMPOSITES & COATINGS ..

• A little ow what I started out with on Graphene in this post ..
• Materials coated in this makes it 200 times stronger then steel, like your average push-bike suddenly a lot easier to pedal up a hill, for instance
• Completely rust free cars and boats .. not needing to be replaced anywhere near as quickly
• Applied to bricks to weatherproof houses ..
• Stop transfer of water to food causing food to go off
• Waterproof housing
• Some stuff about sport .. tennis rackets and such like, lol

Above al it is green .. well it seems and so they claim. Let us hope so to shut up the carbon preachers.

MEMBRANES ..

• Membranes that can be created for all sorts of liquids and also gasses and I imagine the applications for this alone are endless

BIOMEDICAL ..

• After all that .. we move onto .. potentials fr biomedical applications
• Umm a whole bunch of medical things I cannot fully predict right now as my knowledge in medical science is limited, more than most outside the world of medicine but still .. limited

I do not know how long it will take to see these things or even if I will live long enough to see any of them. Sometimes I hope I do .. other times I am not quite so sure on that one.

After what has been a number of rough weeks that I still do not see an end to currently I suddenly got into the need to try and research the latest on an area of science I am particularly interested I and cannot wait to see the possibilities for. As opposed to just reading about predicted possibilities and using ones imagination to conjure up possibilities.

The other thing to ote is that there are just so many possibilities and it would be great to see them come in a whole groups. Hopefully there will be a documentary regarding each area at some point or at least I hope someone has the foresight to at least create one?

AUGMENTATIONS ..

• Prosthetic limbs
• Bionic limbs
• Augmentations
• Transhumanism

In the meantime and for further reading take a look at Manchester University's site ..

http://www.graphene.manchester.ac.uk/

THE EVIL THAT IS

Well after escaping, or at least thought we had, three bullets sent our way by the DWP via their hired but ever more reluctant thugs, the Job Centre, it seems one was waiting for me.

It first thought I had dodged a bullet hat was purely manufactured by the DWP, Job Centre and NEA themselves but they still decided to fire it anyway.

I also first thought that it was not as bad as it could have been before realising that .. yes it is as bad as it can be because they cannot go the 'whole hog' on it. At least not at the present time at any rate.

What has happened is that I received a letter, a series actually and see below, when I finally got back to my flat after several days of not being able to get back there.

During this time there was on Doctors visit that went from ten minutes to over an hour because in realising the mother of four had a disability which was responsible for several things that had them stumped they found something .. else. Something that had them concerned to go demand that she has a blood test straight away at a hospital I am now due to go to for another serious illness. One that has me stopping after about 50 yards trying to get to a local store.

This does not include the things that we already know about with both of us .. and there was one other thing. One involved the eyes and one involved the .. stomach region. I am not even sure which of the two the blood test was for the young mother of four children had to have.

As for the children .. yeah there are the good moments. These are, albeit, far to fleeting. Often it feels like your caring for the devil's spawn and sometimes I get looked at with a face that tells me that someone is almost at their wit's end. I can fully understand that and oddly this was something I had tried to avoid happening but and once again and thanks to the authorities lack of help, insight and outright care and at just 24 there are four children to deal with. In a house that is far from suitable and neither is the house that is possibly about to be moved into.

The two youngest girls with autism are 2 and 3 years of age so not only is there the communication problem, they do not understand why their mumblings and blubbering of words while having a meltdown, are not understood.

Then there is the switching off or pulling out of electrical sockets when you ever say no to them, which is refusing to give them a whole pack of biscuits to themselves, full multi-pack of crisps, a full mug of juice 75% ends up on the floor or carpet and everything else they lay their eyes on. This has resulted in a considerable extra expense and neither one of us knows how to deal with it. I am almost convinced too that the vast consuming of mountains of crisps is very probably the worst thing on the world?! A slow burning fuel that lasts and lasts and I am sure fuels much of the meltdowns, fights and balling for tens if minutes at the tops of their voices?

Then there is the wetting themselves, the older of the two, when simply being told no. This not only goes on at home but occurs on a daily basis at school. Having been here for 5 or so weeks we actually got a shock the other day when we were told for the first time that she had not wet herself at school. Bearing in mind school is like from 9am until 11am or so, so only two or three hours at a time.

Then there is the things that they do with their excrement that has not only started with one but is rapidly increasing. Now the younger of the two has started to do things too. It makes you want to .. vomit and you often heave uncontrollably. It is something I had personally never heard of an now I am in a home with not one but TWO of them doing it. One still wears a nappy but has taken to digging around inside it.

Unfortunately this seems to stem from their father and a relationship that several years ago I had tried to prevent from happening. Now, it seems, like everything else caused by the lazy grandmother who not only caused but encouraged all this, I am paying for it. As is my daughter, of course.

Odd then that this person had been insisting lately that there was nothing wrong with either of the girls. I lived 250 miles away while she lived 3 miles away and even I could see that there as indeed at least one problem. Well I am sure that I had published posts after first meeting them and then while back in London before actually moving here that three of the children were a problem? You might have to check and see but it turns out that this is certainly the case with two of them. SO I town one day the grandmother and the cause of all this witnessed the older girl having a meltdown, showed a look of shock on her face, turned and walked away. Some help, huh? I have posted about this woman for a very long time now, five years, and explained how she was the instigator in all this and despite being defended by the equally responsible council the council now do not trust her.

After the grandmother walked away and after she eventually returned .. she simply said “Oh .. I did not know it was THAT BAD?! I don't know how your going to deal with that?!” to which she was then reminded that the younger of the two girls was EXACTLY THE SAME!

I was not there but I dearly would have loved to have been!!

The only thing that she has said since she has been here is .. “How does your Dad feel about me?” in some vain hope that there would be a reconciliation. As I stated to a few friends up here, who do not like her anyway, after everything she had done to first me and the horrors that my first YOUNG teenage daughter and no adult daughter has had to endure .. “No [EFFING] WAY!” Even if she was slim and extraordinarily attractive.

So no .. just to re-emphasise what I have previously stated .. there is no one up here at all and is the sole reason why I am here. All other relatives are scattered to the four winds and not heard from at all, much as I would like to chat to some of them.

Also there was an accusation that money was going missing from a great grandmother's account and she was dragged in about it to the social services. As per usual she got away with .. it, not going to say 'murder' as I do not want to tempt fate here.

So the sole two carers with serious illnesses that could turn fatal at any time to four children, two with autism, one needy, extremely selfish and constantly asking for odd are stealing it leading me to wonder if he has a tapeworm or an eating disorder. To the point that a social worker asked if she could see if there was food in the house as the youngest of the two boys and not a focus of the social worker department, who never turn up half the time at the house or at all for chair meetings, is always telling her is is hungry.

He is also the thinnest of all the children so that tends to suggest to me that an eating disorder is not that which is the issue here.

That's about all it amounted to .. that and an apology around two years ago at the end of a previous court case with the council.

Or perhaps the best one is having meltdowns in public with members of the public giving you looks like your a bad parent, resulting in my witnessing my daughter tick off people for said looks on occasion.

Added Note: After an initial pause that led to me going to the local shop .. twice and still .. forgetting something some things have occurred.

First off .. the needy boy spent the whole time I was typing this out, from 8am until around 10am, demanding breakfast, crisps and cereals. That was not really worthy of a mention. What was was first of all us discussing that the boy may have some sort of problem or even tapeworm due to the constant demand for food, seeking out food, constantly opening the fridge after dragging a chair from the dining room to get up into the cupboards. Then we discovered that a whole loaf of bread that I bought only yesterday was gone .. completely. Everyone was asked about it but of course we got denials from the two boys. Then we were going to make a couple of cups of tea from the milk I bought yesterday when there was still milk in a previous bottle when I returned with it. There was around two pints, or a little less, of the semi-skimmed milk and my daughter said .. “We can't have a tea!” I was confused and she held the bottle out to me. I was thinking it cannot possibly have gone off and smelt it and it smelt OK. In fact I realised that it smelt a bit more than OK and said it was .. fine. She then asked me to drink it and so feeling sure of myself I did. “It's fine. Oh wait .. that is Banana milkshake?!”

He had taken chair into the kitchen, got a hold of the Crusha milkshake and poured a large quantity of it into the remaining milk. Normally godawful in taste and like 90% of other things, except the Coca-Cola drinks oddly enough, it actually tasted .. normal!

A face-palm was what I did next and out I went to retrieve more milk.

This is a constant thing that occurs and I only have to spot a chair in the tiny kitchen and I wonder what it is we have run out of as someone who has been at it without asking and where that all now might be. Being all over the floor in the hallway and the dining room is a fairly common place to find stuff. From bread, toast not eaten, crisps, chocolate milkshake, apple or orange juice or any number or indeed combination of other things are normally lying in wait.

Then as I stated there is the excrement. Which can happen several times in a day.

Then there is the wetting themselves of the older of the two with autism. This occurred three times .. maybe even four, I lose track at times, in the course of a single day. A .. single .. day! That is three sets of clothes than need washing in a single day. One out of three children.

I can keep on going about the absolute nightmare's of having to do or deal with anything with them and that is without me going into anything that happens collectively.

In fact the needy and annoying boy of leaning over me as I type this, knocking my arm and knocking the laptop causing me to make corrections every few words. Now he is pointing at the keys and asking what each button does. This is after being reprimanded by his mother for being annoying and to stop it or he is going to go to bed earlier than normal.

What is annoying is that he does end up getting his own way and then is in the face of the others teasing them about it .. or teasing them about something he has been given. Try that the other way around and he is louder and higher pitched than a 6 year old girl. Two friends of my daughter are parents to a 6 year old girl and her and needy-boy cannot be in the same room for more than 30 seconds without having a screaming match. Despite the capabilities of your average 6 year old girl needy-boy has her beaten down to constant remarks from the parents of the girl.

• Your worse than our daughter
• Your louder than out daughter
• We hear you more then we do our own daughter
• Your higher pitched than our 6 year old daughter!

Are just some of the things I hear them state the tree or four times a week they are here, especially on Friday's when they spend the evenings here. Good .. God, that often ends up being a nightmare.

Just yesterday the older of the two with autism was diving down my pockets for money and I let her do it. This ended up on the floor at some point where needy-boy and the six year old girl picked them up. At one point the girl dropped a coin and the needy-boy picked it up and was gloating that he had more. Then he dropped one and the girl reclaimed it. Oh my God .. the hysterics that followed were not only well overly dramatic but the .. volume! I then explained that he was wrong in claiming that it was his coin and that he had taken it from him. I pointed out that by his own logic that if it is on the floor and HE picks it up that it is his. But suddenly the rules had changed. Now if he drops it and someone picks it up it is still his. This was a logic that I first tried to put to him but would not have it. But now that it suited him .. he wanted to apply it.

So for the next, almost, two hours four adults and an older brother tried to explain this to him but he was not having none of it. Because it did not suit him. That was the other night and not the first time that things like that occurred. Just the one fresh in my mind.

So today he gets fed after a constant two hours of nagging and then .. dropped honey all over the floor as he was fecking around as per unusual. He then started bouncing around the living room like a mad thing and I pointed out that this usual behavioural pattern of his seems to be after he was fed and that I wondered if it was food related. Then my daughter said something odd “I have wondered whether or not he has ADHD?” Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

This was followed by me explaining that out of 12 people that I have met since I have been here .. five have autism, one has a disability, one has a personality disorder of some kind and one is up in the air with the ADHD thing. I have also seen many people who were obviously afflicted by one thing or another since I have been here. Even these others being forgotten about we have a ration of over 50% here. This is not .. right. In any reality.

I stated that I wondered whether there was some truth to things being in the tap-water? I had heard things in the past but had always put them down to the tinfoil hat brigade. Also I used to visit Woodchurch a lot twenty years ago but that things had changed a hell of a lot from around fifteen years ago. Even my daughter's Nan admitted to e that she could quite not believe how things had gone downhill in the ten years since I used to visit regularly. It appeared the .. same. But just that the people, attitudes and the .. trouble and crimes committed had increased .. vastly.

But with all of that .. I am being kicked in the teeth and therefore my daughter and grandchildren are going to be kicked in the teeth.

I said to my daughter this morning that unless I was able to sort this mess out I the next three months I will have no alternative than to return to London. Because after six months I will not be able to pay my rent any longer .. it is as simple as that!

As have been typing this out I have been feeling anxiety and heart palpitations along with the tightness once again. Which invariably means irregular heart beat as is normally the result when I use my blood pressure monitor .. though I am sitting down and not attempting to get to the local shop?! Oops .. hmm where is that monitor?

If you, the reader, cannot class this as 'The Evil That Is' then I dread to think what it is that you would consider 'evil'.

Bear in mind that these organisations are paid both your tax money as well as receiving donations based purely on the fact they are tasked to help people, not just vulnerable people, sick people, disabled people and children. Also many are paid in donations too sooo …

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY ALL?!

Maybe people think, well some are being helped so that is OK? Though I would stress that would be 'appear to be being helped'?

So that is OK, is it?

What sort of percentage is OK with you? 90%? 50%? 25%? 10%?! 100% is the only acceptable ration to me. If they need help and support then they need help and support. Nothing less is acceptable!

Maybe your like those FBI agents i the helicopter during the Nakatomi Plaza take over by terrorists in the Bruce Willis starred film, Die Hard? You know the part where they talk about the possible civilian casualties in a nonchalant fashion and one says "I reckon about 25%?" and the other says "I can live with that!" before yelling "Yeehawwww, thi is like 'nam!"

If so then .. sad. Very, very sad.

After all is their motto not "We never leave one of our own behind!"?

LMFAO!

Oh dear .. bought my daughter a can of Fanta Lemon and that was a mistake ...

• Mum, I want your drink, Mum I want your drink, Mum I want your drink and so on and so forth
• Mumble: I wnnn drnk I wnn drink! NO!! I WNN a DRNKK WAHHHHHHH-WAHHHHHH!! From the third oldest.
• Wah-Wah-WAAAHHHHH! From the youngest

Dental treatment is easier then this! Oooh .. that reminds me!