No .. this is not a new single by the famous Scouser and one time member of the Beatles, Paul McCartney.
No this is a line I came up with and decided it was title fodder for a Merseyside Police notification on their own Facebook page.
It really is going to take some believing.
Yes I really do live here in .. the Merseyside area.
Please take this seriously and try very hard .. not to laugh so fucking loud that milk, coffee, tea of possible vodka tonics or malt whiskeys come flowing out of your nose. It might sting .. a bit! Lol.
Well for those living in the Wirral or Merseyside area. Please be advised ..
On the M53 motorway there is a table .. and that motorists should be careful.
Apparently six chairs are still at large and believed to be armed and dangerous.
There was a later post regarding the M62 so maybe the chairs were finally apprehended after 20 or so miles?
Good God. God help them with criminals with working legs not confined to wheelchairs as this would be a feat far beyond their capabilities!
After all .. they are stumped with a table sitting in the motorway. Maybe it was armed with a shotgun?
My advice to criminals in the area .. the Police would be fucked if you used a motor vehicle! I can tell you that within this very house we blood stained clothing that was evidence in a murder. Or at least it was. Until they left it here for five days but still intended to pick it up?! I said to put them in the trash .. they are contaminated and cannot be used in any way shape or form. They obviously don't read detective novels or ever bothered watching a single episode of CSI?!
Stunning.
I thought the Metropolitan Police were bad enough and I've only been here a little over a month now!
I suggest lorry drivers carrying goods like Chaise lounges, divans, bidets and halogen hobs take extra care. We don't want Merseyside Police having a meltdown, calling out the bomb squad or the men in black because of the unusual lights given off by a simple cooking device?!
In the meantime will anyone call Merseyside Police if they see any chairs acting suspiciously.
Also the previous owner of the perpetrators has stated the chairs are a fiver each and the table is a tenner.
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