Tuesday 17 July 2018

THE EVENTS THAT TURN & TURN


Oh God .. I do not know if I can divulge or even remember all that has happened the last few days but let us see? Maybe I might need to come back to this.

I just lost £1,890 on a deal which I had already lost around £2,000 on and this has broken my heart to no end. I had a car that was supposed to have been sold for me .. it has now gone and was a big bane on my life .. thanks to the authorities. Public services to be exact.

  • I had been offered help from no less than four people before I returned to London
    • Not including the disability specialist solicitor
  • I have had no help from anyone since I returned
  • This has cost me money now and ..
  • Been a great source of stress and anxiety and ..
  • Has kept me trapped in my current location ..
  • To the point where I now get no benefits at all!

It gets better ..

  • Found my working bluetooth headset in the car
  • Found my Fiio music player in the car
  • I searched that car three times for these things!
  • I did the same in Birkenhead with a wallet and I kid you not!

  • The car passed an MOT
  • A nail was found in one of the rear and new Pirelli tyres!
  • If anyone recalls .. I had one blow out up in Birkenhead ..
  • I was convinced someone was targeting both me and the car
  • Now I discover there was an embedded nail?!

As far as the benefits go and before I get another amoral extreme right-wing moron making stupid brain dead comments ..

On Sunday .. or perhaps Saturday I had two breakdowns ..

  • I left a messenger bag on a bench near a graveyard
    • Contains my disability Freedom Pass
    • Wallet
    • Door Keys
    • Storage Keys
  • Due to a very kind young woman I got them back ..
  • Due to a phone number in the bag written on a piece of paper from when I was in Waltham Abbey looking after my brothers dog for four days ..
  • Because they knew my memory was bad and thought I would lock myself out

Upon reaching the house I realised I had lost my bag and I went into breakdown mode and upon entering the house ..

  • Someone a little narcissistic surprised me and I must have looked bad because
    • I was asked what had happened
      • I was told I need to stop taking photographs
      • On asking why they replied that I cannot do day to day activities!
      • Funny as this is what is meant to award you disability money
        • One of many things I endure
          • Memory problems
          • Heart Palpitations
          • Skipping Heartbeat
          • High Blood Pressure
          • Pain in feet, back, shoulders and other places
          • Extreme Anxiety
          • History of self harm
          • Having Issues touching things
            • Holding my phone
            • Using the screen
            • Using my laptop's touchpad
            • Been going on for months
              • Oddly tonight is the worst, cannot manage for more than a few minutes
              • Seem to get some sort of weird tingling with this now
              • Two hours sleep last night, wondering if it is a factor in this new intensity?!
          • Going all night without sleeping is .. back!!
            • This is .. disheartening and .. a nightmare!

But this is not all as despite this I like to work ..

  • Blogging for six years .. money frozen with no reason given, thank you Google!
    • Corruption
    • Orchids
    • Computing
    • Astronomy
    • British Wildlife
    • Photography
  • Getting films for the above
  • Getting photos for the above
  • High Quality Photography
    • Account on Flickr
    • Photos are large and need to be post-processed
    • Converted from RAW to JPEG
      • Planned to get the image count up to over 3,000
      • Uploaded in the hope of getting noticed as I got better
        • Health Issues not withstanding
      • Then transfer some to sites to sell
        • Two Sites chosen and working on
    • Account on Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, Twitter, GAB
      • All recently being added to

My photos have to go through a process where three of them need to go through quality control and annoyingly .. for fecking reasons that escape me and are stupid .. if one gets rejected they all get rejected.

Yeah I uploaded and there upload fecked up.

I uploaded again and one out of three was rejected .. for dust on the lens .. despite other pictures being taken the same day with the same God damn lens?!

Anyway to add more defence to the attack of far right amoral twats ..

  • Worked on these things for six years, very nearly almost
  • Spent £20,000 plus towards this
  • Got talked into doing this by the Job Centre and NEA
  • One week after going self-employed they pulled
    • All self-employments payments and funding before they even started
    • Cancelled all benefits which also meant ..
    • I could not claim Working Tax Credit until I was able to sustain myself
      • A year of photography and blogging my my calculation
  • Was supposed to start getting paid by Google around end of 2016
  • Money stopped rising at £47 and has stayed frozen ever since
  • Despite being several hundred short of where I wanted to be with photographs ..
  • Now started uploading to image selling sites slightly ahead of time

There are other .. problems and I am going to need help.

Except I have contacted a lot of people just as I have done in the past and thus far and just as before there has been no help whatsoever. Nothing beyond a few suggestions or sending me onto the next organisation .. rinse and repeat until your back at the start.

Oops .. just before I published this, with my laptop refusing to locate the woeful wifi, I used another computer to check my .. photo submissions and once again I was rejected based on a single photograph.

That is eight photos, first two failed because it was not three photos, their effing fault.

Second lot one of three failed.

Third lot one of three failed.

Success rate 66% but they fail them?! And they failed one for dirt on lens .. which is bullshit because other images taken same day were not rejected at all. You simply cannot have it both ways I am afraid no matter how professional you claim that you are.

The second one failed for .. definition?!

My daughter could not believe it and said I was being targeted by the government what with every single fucking thing I have done since last July 2017 going horribly wrong .. in very suspicious ways. Not sure they would go this far, mind you ..

But I have uploaded another three and I have set a trap .. just to see.

FUUUUCK! I cannot type for very long with this new hand problem!!

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