FEELINGS OF FAILURES

Those that have come here since breaking my Twitter silence are probably unaware of a lot of things that do and have gone one.

If you thought that post was one hell of a horror story is does not contain it all and nore do I go into detail about the pain and suffering.

There are dozens of people involved in the story and around half a dozen each that could command a series of books in their own. Well .. at least one a piece. One will need more than one book just to themselves. None of these names involves my daughter or eve myself. Hence why a news media agent talked of TV, magazine and a book series. Nothing of the things he promised came to light and this was back in January.

Within six weeks our issues were going to be over. Later in the year we was having these series done on her story. But here we are a few weeks from September and not a single peep has been heard from the Joe the media agent or Take A Break's Julie Sidwell.

Today I did something I do not normally do and suddenly I was experiencing intense pain and as I wandered back to my regular park bench the phone rang.

It was my daughter who had called me earlier just prior to attending an appointment for her cancer. Her mother had agreed to look after the four children and once again the useless, evil and conniving mother had gone absent. Two operations had already been missed because of this behaviour and due to trying to incite violence I am sure she is hoping or trying to cause the death of my daughter. Like I said .. many books could be written just on one person alone.

I the end my daughter was forced to go around to her home but she did not answer the door. In desperation my daughter climbed through a window only to find her mother's partner. He did not even realise that his partner was not only not in the house but had her phone switched off. I am not lucky enough that the Police had finally figured out what she had done and she was on the run?

He agreed to look after the children and it was not until my daughter was at the hospital she suddenly wondered if she was having an operation or not?! A missing grandmother would cause a serious issue of this had turned out to be the case. It will when the operation comes around I assure you!

My daughter had to remain for something else and they asked her about her Trigeminal Neuralgia and seemed concerned at how bad and frequent it had become. They was also surprised that she had just been fobbed off with pills.

Then my daughter started sobbing and this occurring I have lost count of happening, just in the last six months alone.

“I don't know what I am going to do?!” she said as she cried.

From the way the Doctors were talking she thinks now that they know something and that something is going to happen to her.

I cannot explain the feelings of darkness at moments like this and the sheer feeling of being a failure as a father because time after time and year after year and for over twenty years the public services have failed. Failed then failed and then failed. To make matters worse it is not just the failig but these servants of the people and full of care for woman and children actually kick you in the nether regions while they are failing you.

I have lost count of the number of times I have had to listen to how she would be better off dead.

I do not care what anyone else says because they would be clearly naïve and/or incompetent to think that the public services do to act like this or treat people like this. Annoying as a search on YouTube alone would bring up hundreds of videos of people going through hell. Just not as many hells as the two of us have been through.

This is what makes it all the more strange as my daughter should get a massive amount of interest over the sheer number of heartbreak and the huge number of failures by so many involved.

Sometime I think this is why they either stay well away from us or promise us the Earth only to vanish at the eleventh hour.

All the time hoping for something to occur that would tell us that our suffering mentally and out physical pains would soon come to an end.

Maybe others think this is just too much and the men in black might come knocking at the door? I just do not know but it has been hard.

I had hoped that commenting in places on YouTube as I have now done for like a month and the last ten days plus of Tweeting on Twitter might get me some attention and I can put someone in contact with my daughter?

Maybe I have just not reached enough people yet?

I use my frustration and anger on all that I blame for this mooching around the Twitter streams all day and when I see someone who is acting and talking completely selfish over something hat is fuck all I am in there.

Oddly I could rip so many people new ones and throw around all kinds of insults and names but I refrain from doing that. Though I have plenty of reason to do so.

Rant-rant-rant self-self-self and I chime in, have a disagreement, get called a liar time after time and then throw in my link to my daughter's story. It either then gets fuck all comments, after screming about burkas or offense to others, or it gets talked down. One eve accused me of getting the story out of a story in a magazine. No, I replied, our story appeared in a fucking magazine but only around 0.5% of it!

Cancer sufferer, domestic abuse victim and repeated victim of child abuse with the most evil mother you could ever dream of as well as being sexually abused by your step-father aged 12. That is only the very worst of it and there are things I have not posted about for years that would very literally blow anyone away. Not mention it on blogs for several years. Certainly not mentioned it on Twitter because we was ignored so much I wondered if that element of the story was keeping people away?

So I am going to be in one of those dark places for a couple of weeks not and where I am also going to lose a load of belongings too. Past caring about those but I guarantee a load of crap I am going to have to sort out with the storage company as well as my bank. Yeah I really want to be doing that.

Help organisations have acted the same .. go to someone else, start talking like they are going to help and then tell you to go to someone else or say they are going to help, ask yo for your phone number when you have already provided it. Then they simply do not call you ever let alone when they say they are going to.

What can you do?

Hoping my ad revenue will be unfrozen but does not occur. Scrambled to get my photos onto sites like Alamy, Photofolio and Deviant Art hoping that someone would start buying them and I could build upon it.

Was supposed to do weekly series of YouTube videos but then they started messing around moving the goalposts on that too, screwing a load of people over. For political reasons is what everyone says.

I do have a habit of trying several things simultaneously because so many things have failed in the past.

Fantastic country I was born into that has just got better and better over my nearly fifty years.

God help my grandchildren!

I was called a modern day Robin Hood? Not doing very well at that job, am I?

Annnd I have just bee told that the broadband Internet in the building, which has been off for five or six days, is not coming back on for another nine?!

Nine .. fucking days? Has anyone even heard of anything like that? Mobile data been playing up, Wifi in park has issues.

The person who has the account with Virgin Media is going into meltdown and was as I left the house. Told the guy on the phone that in all my years I have never heard anything like it, Even from Virgin Media and I need to check to see if anyone else has issues in the area?