A NEW ATTACK

Damn it.

Not, probably, what you think.

I'm going to lose my remaining belongings along with all my documents in a matter of weeks.

Just another thank you from the UK.

I am also aware of not one, or two .. three things going on with my daughter 250 miles away.

None of those things include her various health issues of cancer, Hypomagnesemia, Vitamin B deficiency, 'S' Protein Deficiency of her Fibromyalgia.

Nor do these things include the attacks on her by the authorities. The lack and removal of help so that she fails.

She's trying to speak to someone and I don't know the full story yet. At least ask that's been said was that someone was truly evil. Worse than she had previously known, it seems.

Someone she forced to rely on .. that's unreliable 80% of the time and my daughter gets into trouble for that when it's not her fault.

I don't know the full details of one of the three.

The last one? Well we know what the local council are trying to do. We just do not know how they are going to do it or whether they will succeed?!

And for the past hour .. I've been having a breakdown while in sitting in the park.

Another week when I thought I was going to get to speak to someone who could help me and another week where I'm refused.

They've emailed me with one single contact and they don't appear to be someone who can help. But I'll email them anyway.

Just sitting here wondering why I can't just have a heart attack and die?! Get it over with but then I'll leave my daughter truly alone to the truly evil country this place has become.

It's not fair!

I'm having to hold my first into the left side of my stomach because of the anxiety.

I've been waiting to hear what's been going on after the phonecall declaring that someone's been really evil.

But I'm also thinking of my belongings .. my documentation and the next payment to my storage bouncing like a rubber ball.

I contacted one about storing my boxes of documents but got turned down.

I've contacted someone else but likely to get turned down.

Why is it important?

Well other than mountains of letters from public services proving what I've said ..

They're are also letters that prove I lived in a house in Enfield for ten years.

Because I lived in a house for ten years but didn't get my deposit back and despite asking no reason given. Ten years.

I also spent four nights in a flat in Birkenhead and paid six months rent in cash and didn't get my deposit back on that either.

That's twice in under a year.

That's how you get treated by the British rush it seems?!

I sometimes wonder what in the hell I've been doing for the past six years? Especially when I feel like I do right now.

I'm anxious just sitting in the damn park!

Jesus .. who would want to live when life is like this?!

This is also why I'm so angry at politics and the way things are. The bitching and moaning I read about and hear about over things far less important than what my daughter and I have been through.

Several times I thought I could help my daughter, did for a bit then failed.

Several times I thought others were going to help my daughter and after months of waiting they didn't follow through.

Each time I thought she would succeed or I would succeed I thought at least if I died of know she was OK?

BUT NO!!

It's like the other day when a helicopter was buzzing around me in this park..

Now I know they want my daughter and I to just be .. well .. gone. Some have even thought, as have I, that I would be assassinated. Even from day one! But they wouldn't do it in broad daylight.

But I didn't flinch.

Unfortunately I didn't feel a pain in my chest. Mores the pity.

We are not prone to fantastical imaginations, despite the obvious mental health issues. There are many and ours involved stress, depression and above all else .. anxiety.

On top of everything else we have it makes things .. difficult .. impossibly and unbelievably hard.

I do not understand it, do not understand how our own minds and bodies can out up through this torture or how you are supposed to survive it. Even knowing how to get things done while like this is an endurance at the best of times and impossible at the worst.

We have both been losing weight and I get days where I do eat and days where I do not and this has been telling. My shorts are now fairly baggy on me and they were tight fitting to begin with.

Many years of this on and off and I always get the same result .. nowhere to turn to.

My daughter has vulnerable children and herself has all my issues health wise plus cancer and she is even finding out now that there is no one to turn to.

But we are a country littered with organisations claiming online and on TV to help people and beg ou for money so that they can act out their oh so caring ways.

Yeah .. well if someone actually knows one of these they might want to inform my daughter or me about them. Because we have both felt like we have contacted them all and gotten nowhere at all.

Several chances of death .. many areas of pain .. mental suffering .. suicidal thoughts .. four vulnerable children and cancer and no one can help?

Then who the FUCK do they help? That is what I want to know! Preferably before I do keel over for the very last time!

Add onto that, that I do not want to live in this country and what it has become. The pure evil tht exists and the absolute bare-faced lies it puts out in the media.

The news media are no better. The Internet is awash with suicides even by disabled people and likely mothers that have had their children taken away, I know I am worried about my own daughter in this regard, and even the health service killing people. Were talking about hundreds of thousands of people dead. From suicide through persecution, through neglect and through mistakes, though I maintain and will till I die these are deliberate. But they will talk and twist the truth about various protests and speeches and marches and all kinds of things to fir their politics and narratives.

They have made it plainly obvious that despite their own claims about right and wrong, peace and love that the news media also does not give a flying fuck about people's lives and more interested in what they want and what they believe.

Well why do you believe these things because it clearly has nothing to do with love or people's lives and you obviously do not care about that.

Rather overly focused on tears and hurt feelings.

But the tears and hurt feelings of others that have driven many to suicide barely, if at all, get a mention.

I say this in replies to tweets and I cannot state it without getting likes.

Just goes to show that today I am no longer on my own in knowing that the news media are lying bastards who are complicit in killing people and locking people up when there is no valid reason to.

It matters not to me whether I believe in someone's views or not. You do not get to twist the law to imprison someone because you do not agree with them.

You should also not be driving someone to death and mental torture because you do not agree with the fucking facts either!

Facts are facts.

What possibly would an intelligent alien race want to do with us when we distort the facts to suit our feelings and wants? None.

Want to know why we have had no answer from signals sent out to the depths of space? Well there is your answer!

Oh but of course they have already insisted that when you go to space everyone is just like them, in case anyone missed it.

The forcing of their warped views onto others has been nothing short of astonishing in recent years and something I will be still in disbelief of if and when I draw my very last breath.