ONE LONG ROAD OF PAIN

Ooh boy! Has today been a bad one and it is only 1.30pm!

First off I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, quite literally and to say it is not stressful ... well I would be lying.

It also turns out that not only have the naysayers now decreed that the positive parts including money is all bullshit, that they have taken it upon themselves to decide that all the previous stuff, much I was present at and recorded dozens of things, is all bullshit too.

Damaged egos, eh?! LMAO!

Added to that is I have a GP appointment where I am going to try once again to be referred to an Osteopath over my back pain.

Oh and the nausea.

Oh and I must remember to mention waking up to discover my left hand is digging into a tender area around the base of my neck, which was already spotted twice and then retracted by the NHS. This may be linked to the nausea, you see?

Which may be linked to the back pain that was also spotted twice and then retracted.

Being wrongly diagnosed, especially when you yourself know what it is, is one thing. But being diagnosed and then having things retracted?

Happened with not only my back, twice, but also my right knee twice and an inguinal hernia on my right side. Recordings of the Doctor in question being caught red-handed by me and admitting falsifying test results and then retracting that too! Lol.

If I ever told them in anger I was recording them I would never  have acquired as much as I have. Let them lie, let them think they are getting away with it. Move onto the next thing, let them build up a great deal of over-confidence in lying ...

...carry on recording. Mount it all up ... post it all on the Internet when you have far more than enough.

Watch as journalists, newspapers and TV idiots act no different to those they expose and steal your stuff, alter it, go after their own but similar story and you get nothing in the way of thanks for it.

Well I did say the whole blog was a trap?! Remember? LOL!

I have now confirmed that high blood pressure is linked to Fibromyalgia and in so doing discovered a new drug, Milnacipran (brand name Savella) that is reported to have better affects with Fibromyalgia sufferers than the totally cheap crap and wrong drugs they fob you off with, like Gabapentin and Amitriptyline.

It seems that this new Milnacipran works on specific neurotransmitters in the brain that are affected by Fibromyalgia Syndrome which itself is partly driven, or mostly, by not having the sleep where your body repairs itself, including the brain itself.

Yeaahh ... imagine that next time your thinking about your friend or family member having something you do not believe or think does no exist, because of idiot medical ... umm experts? I think not.

I know because I went through it for 13 years, though it turned out I had had FMS for closer to 20 years!

I am not going to get into the number of things the NHS destroyed by being both idiots, deaf and liars because I have mostly done that already. Spent 3.5 years almost doing that on this blog ...

... saving money? I think not!

It also mentions the other drug which is the only one that work on the cause of Fibromyalgia, lack of restorative sleep, Sodium oxybate (brand name Xyrem).

Please note that on the page in the link below that Gabapentin is Neurontin, the latter being the brand name which they seem to fail to mention.

Sodium oxybate (Xyrem) is the drug that Dr Kirkham, specialist ion Fibromyalgia at Guy's Hospital, had, to my complete shock, never heard of. I told him it was a shock to hear that as it is the one and only drug that deals with the core problem for people with Fibromyalgia.

In other words it is not only dealing with the pain, not masking it, but deals with he fatigue too. I think this goes double for Chronic Fatigue  Syndrome which I believe is just Fibromyalgia Syndrome in its early stages,

If you have come here about the drugs I mention of Fibromyalgia or Chronic Fatigue, or other subjects for that matter ... you can search the archive! Lol.

So I am thinking about all that ... plus the two other things both concerning large amounts of money, one I do not want to be involved in and one I thought I was and now I am not ... how long for and why not I am in the dark about.

Of course as I stated previously my life has been made a living hell by the naysayers made up with those with damaged egos and those jealous with envy who do not want it to be true.

For the first time in several days I pop in to get something from a friends store and am on in serious back pain. I then decide to head to town for a brief pick up and head home. I bizarrely consider catching an unusual bus route home but miss a bus.

I am then walking down a long straight road I use and I get a third of the distance along it when ... WHAM! No George Michael has not crashed into another Prontoprint, or whatever it was, I get a sudden attack of one of my many other pains straight into my right foot!

I cannot walk! No buses down this road either! I stop for several minutes, lean onto my walking stick and wonder how a human is supposed to deal with this amount of pain, stress and thoughtlessness of others before trying to carry on. Two steps - bang, bang! Darn it this is seeming impossible.

Now here is the bit that no one considers nor asks about ... what do I at times like this? Well I have my walking stick and I stand there and think that there must be a walk that will keep the pain from firing off.

I walk with the heel on the right foot and try not to put the ball of my foot onto the pavement, it does not always work.

I limp and lean hard and my arms get tired and I switch arms and I feel light drops of rain on my face and think "please, no! Not fucking now!! You have made things hard enough at a tough time already, do not fucking rain now, its all you have done for week on end!!"

I look at the pavement stretching off into the distance. It suddenly looks a very long way away.

I have to make three major stops of several minutes, more leaning and questioning, along with a half a dozen stops of a few second here and there.

Despite actually thinking this was going to be the first time I was going to fail to get home., because of my location far from a bus stop, I struggled, bit my lip hard, got down deep and I worked through the pain and limped all the way home.

Oh how I wish that we could get just a week or two of some clear skies and wind free! You have no idea how much I so want some of those so that I can get out on my damned bike!

Because the other things I have to deal with, harder when your avoiding people, is the ever so annoying boredom!

The link to the drug I researched that holds the link to high blood pressure and Fibromyalgia along with the listed drugs above ... yes including the ones I get refused, like Pregabalin (brand name Lyrica) and the mentioned Sodium oxybate (brand name Xyrem), click the link ...

http://www.ukfibromyalgia.com/treatments/medication.html

THE RETURN OF TOPO

Topo was a Tiger ... is a Tiger which was an idea I came up with some time ago now.

He mills about in places on the Internet, hiding ... kind of, lol.

Well a couple months back I was at London Zoo and saw and filmed a full size Topo the Tiger and thought it would ne neat to put him or her on here?

I filmed various other animals belonging to fish and amphibians and put them on my Reptile, Amphibian and Fish blog. There are many picture too I need to put up!

Damn it! I just remembered the photos! Lol. Fibrofog.

NOT FORGOTTEN

What does one do when faced with a corner?

There is only one thing that any living thing would do when faced and forced into a corner of any kind...come out fighting.

I ponder many things most of the hours one would be awake.

There are times when the bridge before you is burning in flames. The heat and tips f the flames lapping at your ankles, set alight out of blind stupidity and stubbornness.

But once the ashes fall away rebuilding the bridge can take some extreme effort and other times left completely beyond repair.

Often this involves a date or a key event on the annual calender of life.

Somebody close to me recently stated that playing games with me is a complete waste of time because you cannot win. It is true enough but I am not, despite my outward appearance, always impervious. Just impervious to many.

Sometimes you can walk among the ashes while your feet burn and you have to ask yourself that one and often insolvable question. Why?

I may well be approaching a point when I ask myself 'why' of my own endeavours and efforts?

The one person that had kept me going throughout and for many years has been … evasive, secretive and incommunicado.

If I cannot trust them they join a long list of people I cannot trust. Which will lead me, inevitably to the question of if there is anyone worth saving or helping?

So why should I continue?

It is a question I do not want to ask myself. It is a question I never thought I would ask myself. On the night of Christmas Eve it will be the most primary question in my mind.

What did I do it all for?

There are times when things get you down. There is only so much you can take on board in a given period of time. Then the weight of everything can get too much.

The one thing I have always managed to work without is things or events to be uplifting. Something that shows you that your cause is worthy or that there are plenty of people worthy of your sacrifices.

I have had a few minor moments. Too few and far between I am afraid to say.

Currently I am endeavouring to acquire that elsewhere.

I am contacting literary agents. I have contacted a number of them by now and I have had a little positive feedback which is far more than I had gotten four years back.

I ask myself if the readers of my letters will see what it is I am trying to do, who and how many I am trying to help and become a part of this?

Now that would be uplifting.

I wrote two books and have a third to start up and work through but sometimes, like right now, I wonder if I have the energy to do this?

I am not a bad actor in Hollywood, nor kicking a bag of wind around or fighting others for it or smiling away in some glamour magazine or dirt digging journalist in a gossip column.

Yet these command big salaries as does looking the fool on TV.

I lived a life of pain and confusion, realised some things were rotten to the core and decided to research them. Only to find that everything was rotten to the core everywhere I looked and far worse than even I first thought.

I then thought about all of the victims out there whose lives have been destroyed and even ended by this dark side to the British nation while floods of others come here to make things even worse than they are.

I realised that almost all others will not be aware of how bad things are and in how many places and that those that do concentrate on one particular aspect and are blind to all the others.

I was well aware that as things stood things would only continue to spiral downhill.

I seemed to be the only one that was aware of the vast extent of how bad things were and had predicted many things for a very, very long time.

I simply wanted to do something about it.

I wanted to change things.

I wanted to change a country, a whole country and then maybe, just maybe, the world … one country at a time. I would never have lived long enough to see that.

Though some will never be changed and remain a diseased wart on the face of the world while idiots continue to pander to them because they are convinced they will. Until they are wiped out. I see this but cannot do anything about it. I can just give my opinions and sometimes am harsh, to give an idea of how many are feeling.

That, I confess, is deliberate. I have said and repeated many times that actions speak louder than words and I could only ever be judged by my actions. Not my words.

So I played on that. To sound extreme. To get noticed and stir feelings and emotions as I thought that would get people talking. Talking about this blog. Talking about me.

I would say things in anger as I would post about them while I was angry about something … again quite deliberately. That was how I played it.

The ultimate and real truth was always kept back and would be revealed when I thought it was necessary to do so.

I am losing count of the years I have spent doing this. I am losing count of the number of days I have been hurt, heartbroken, suffered so many pains and made so many sacrifices.

The whole time I had hoped that those I had attempted to help would see these things for themselves? Again … seeking another corner where uplifting events can occur.

It seems I have an enemy and I do not know who it is. More upsetting is that someone else should see his too but have not and care not.

Sometimes you do not need to know them or see their faces. Because the sacrifices made a clear to see and actions and in this case, inactions, are clear to see and tell a story. A very clear story.

There are many things I could have done with my life and I have an endless list of regrets but I had boulders lobbed before me on each and every one of them. This sees to have turned out no different to any of the previous times.

Unless something changes in the coming couple of months?

I imagine I am on an island. A gentle and cool breeze disturbs the hair above my temples and the sun is setting and coats the horizon in a golden glow. The only sound that is audible is distant birds singing on high.

The leaves of nearby trees glitter as they twist and turn in the breeze, the sunlight flashing from their surfaces as they turn.

I am somewhere far, far away from all that I hate.

I lay back and my arms outstretch when I think of a nation of blind people clambering for their wants and desires that are meaningless in this vast and unexplored universe.

A tear breaks free from the corners of my eye when I think of the utter extremes many are prepared to go to fill in the gaps of a very short life. The evil that people are willing to do.

I sit upon my island and gaze into the direction of a place once called home. I wonder if they will ever see? I wonder if they will ever stop? I wonder of they will ever free themselves from the tyrannies and the darkness?

Why do they require so much and why are they willing to go to such lengths to achieve this?

To fill up a period of thirty or forty years with things others do not possess, could never possess?

Do the actors that only drink champagne costing thousands and eat meals costing the same really have to do this? Do they see how they look to anyone intelligent, outside that of the celebrity journalists themselves desperately hunting sound bites?

Or those on TV pleading for a few pounds to save lives that posses the amounts to feed third world countries for several years?

The world around me is full of holes. The deceit is surrounding. The pictures so utterly clear. The hardest thing to endure is to watch everyone else walk past these pictures as if they were not even there.

So the only thing that allows evil to persist is for good men to do nothing is it?

Well one good man decided to do a little more than just something.

One man decided to do many things and for a very long time.

He painted a series of the starkest pictures.

That was my vision.

At the present time and quite bizarrely big numbers are only the tiniest of percentages. A stark reality.

So some metaphorical fuses have had to be lit.

Time given to see where the sparks lead.

The weeks are running speedily out and that island may become a very tempting prospect?

Then what will history make of it all?

As I feared, most likely?

It takes a death before anyone becomes interested and even then after some time.

Those stark realities of what it is to be human.

But, I wonder, what does that make me?

I can only hope that you do not forget about me.

At least in my life I tried to do something right … something good.

NO POINTY UMBRELLAS

The title is just a bit of a joke and a reminder for me at a later date.

I was speaking to someone on the phone about a reaction I had from someone else. I explained that my situation has now gone full circle and right back to the beginning.

Everything is bullshit.

I now have yet another topic I cannot talk about even when they are talking about this subject. As that is what took place today. Terrorism.

They have forgotten that there are recordings of conversation a certain organisation that sound like they sell bad furniture was very interested in. Enough to call me about.

Yes, all that is forgotten, or simply not listened to. I do not know which and I do not particularly care.

It does show what they think of my next wave of endeavours I am now over half way through, so I wont be talking about that.

I also mentioned about not being in a good mood to treat myself to a music player, something I use every single day, and that this wont change unless I get positive feedback from either the journalists, literary agents or 'my partner in crime' who has severed their ties.

"Oh she WON'T be calling you!" was the remark I got in a stern manner.

So passing remarks are out too?!

Good God, you have no idea how much I did not want this to happen and how much now I want this to be over ... one way or another!

I have Christmas to deal with too!

I am working on something I will get to in a few days time ... hopefully it might bear some fruit?

What made things even worse is just before the statement was made I came over very weird and very dizzy?! It was almost like I had just eaten something moments before that was poisonous!

I left, could not remember what I wanted to do other than trying to find a Barber's Neck Brush that no one seems to bloody sell! I had ordered one through Amazon but once again I got an advert where the seller was on the other side of the bloody planet!! Hong Kong in this instance and it drives me wild when they do that ...

Just want you to fucking buy something so they get there slice, the sleazy twats!!

When I looked into becoming an author I also heard some really bad things said about Amazon and there was even an uprising against them by authors. I signed up on that petition when I had heard of what they were like.

I passed Costa Coffee, were the suitcase had been blown up by the bomb squad, tried looking in the 99p Store, then TK Maxx and then saw Superdrug while I was leaving and went in there.

While I was in TK Maxx, the 99p Store and Superdrug I had to use my hiking stick many times to stop me going over.

I was bouncing around the edges of the aisles and felt like that metal ball in a pinball machine!

I have no idea what it is but coming up from crouching slowly nearly had me flying off to one side.

Oddly I also forgotten other things I was meant to do, one was make an appointment with my GP to speak about the letter I left there asking to be referred over my severe back pain, an Osteopath. I might have requested something else, I do not know as I cannot remember and I forgot to go to the GP Surgery to make the appointment!

God damn it!

I am sure there were other things I forgot to do as well?

As for the sudden onset of feeling drugged? I felt like I was just going to go over to my left and fall on the floor. I remember feeling like this on the tube train coming back from Wood Green to Southgate to get to Richer Sounds. Suddenly it felt like the train, and I, was falling and I grabbed the metal bar for dear life!

Very bizarre, not a very nice feeling, I assure you. And I can handle most things as I have had to for 13 to 20 years depending on the symptoms I have.

I had already taken a Metoclopramide Hydrochloride pill before leaving the house and they have worked pretty well since I started taking them. Though I have missed a few recently as I had been feeling OK.

So I am not sure if it was the lack of amount of Metoclopramide in my system, the drugs have worn off or something else was affecting me?

The Fibrofog I already have from my Fibromyalgia Syndrome goes into overdrive at times like this, I did not know where the hell I was going at one point.

The friend I was talking to on the phone got into a conversation and I just walked home and do not even remember the walk. Come to think of it I do not even know which route I took home?!

Damn! A good job the auto pilot works OK!

As for the other crap. The one I knew I would start to get mere days before it started? As I said to my friend it so annoys me when people act certain ways and think certain ways. Their being far more unfair than that they think is bugging them.

How can you get annoyed about passing remarks especially ones that we were talking about?

How can someone decide that years of things I have done must be all bollocks because one selfish person is being thoughtless? It beggars belief, it really does!

It is actually stupid, is what it is.

I sooo want it to top and I know I have got this for many months now.

I am going to have to come up with a plan ... a plan to avoid it or put an end to it completely because it is fucking annoying and totally unfair. Do not assume that something you know fuck all about is now all bollocks ... fucking ask!

I can offer so many recordings about so many things ... including the fucking case I am not allowed to mention but now do not want to as I just want to forget about it. Due to the behaviour of others and all because of fucking egos!

I am going to have to avoid anyone with egos in the Spring and Summer of 2016 due to something else I have been working on they are not going to like. Envy and jealousy are such a big thing with people I know!

I bloody hate it, I do not get like that and it is something I hate in people.

Well at least I did not go near any strange looking men with pointy umbrellas!

A SUSPICIOUS MIND

Well here is that video I referred to in the last post.

Leaving PC World a big white and fairly new unmarked van pulled up and started wheeling white goods right through PC World's front door?!

A van, i might add, with Polish plates on it at hat had come a very, very long way to deliver thee goods!

Knowing full well that they sell refurbished goods as new because they had done so with me, though admiittedly not as many as Argos sold me, I of course immediately thought I was catching them in the act?

Though with any intelligence I would have the stuff delivered to a central base and have my own lorries with my company name on delivering the goods. It is the sensible way to do it.

Unless they have been doing it o long they think themselves untouchable, I know they think themselves untouchable anyway. If you listen to the recording of a PC World representative raising his voice at me you will know they think themselves untouchable.

I just try to warn others ...

I still buy from them because everyone is doing the same thing. If I discover, easy after a while, that the item is refurbished it goes straight back for a exchange and I tell them it is refurbished and how I spotted it.

Unfortunately this teaches them to not make the same mistakes!

NOT FORGIVING

When I glance at my balance in my bank account I never expect it to be anything other than what it is.

That is kinda sad. A sad reality. Never mind.

However things may well change.

I have spent almost an entire year not doing as much as I could, for various reasons. I am about to change that.

Pretty soon I am going to re-publish a number of things and a series based on a report I have been working on. For a particular industry.

I will publish this in certain pieces ... leaving one until the last moment containing data I do not want to publish ... not just yet.

I have an unusual and unexpected Christmas racing towards me.

A number of endeavours I thought I would be embarking on have been pulled from under me. But not pulled out completely. I always have back up plans and other plans can be carried out ... even if not in the locations I expected to and with the obvious ... backing I thought I would have.

I am about to reach a half way point in one of these endeavours. Already it has born some interesting developments and I have had some interesting things said to me.

Yet I have only just started.

It is something I have not attempted in awhile and around a year before the blog started. As that is now three and a half years nearly you can see it has been a while.

These previous attempts numbered in the dozens with two industries. The results ... were ... not particularly good.

The numbers this time are only at 3 for one and 5 for the other and already each one has had a much more positive result than they ever did recently.

I must be aware of secret squirrels!

Also I have had a journalist on the phone for almost two hours.

It has not gone unnoticed that there was a bomb scare in my local town centre. Sorry fellas ... I was way out of town when that happened, lol.

I was not there, for once. I only know about it because locals and three friends saw it and told me about it. In fact I was told there was a controlled explosion, whether this is true or not I do not know.

I have not looked it up. (EDIT: Have now, many reports of controlled explosion)

If there was anything it is the second time something has occurred within spitting distance of my home, metaphorically speaking.

Of course the reasons why this is can be found on the archive of this very blog.

There are some groups that need to be verrrry careful. If they screw up not only would this bring me into the limelight they have been trying so hard to avoid but could well blow up in their faces. Pardon the pun!

Being targeted by various groups was not only a possibility in my mind but an absolute certainty, I just could not be certain of all of them that would target me. Took steps to hide myself you see.

Anyone dies within ten miles of me due to any terrorist acts and questions may well be asked and answers demanded.

I did everything I had to. I did everything I could do.

Did you?

What happens next is anyone's guess.

It may have turned out to be something and covered up, like the attempt on the River Lea at Waltham Abbey three and a half years ago, just prior to starting this blog?

It may turn out to be nothing but due to the vicinity they thought it may be something?

But I am here.

I have made several attempts and several pleas to leave.

Had I done so that important information would be available here. But I have been thwarted several times in my attempts to move home in the last few years.

In other words ... they have a target. Or at least a target area. Remove this and you take away their ability to target. Prevent the target from moving and one has to wonder as to their ultimate intentions and their ability to be compassionate towards human life and innocent people?

Oh dear. That will not be good.

So I have started to embark upon a new quest. Not in some desperation or fear that they might get me if indeed they are targeting me. Just starting what I was going to start about now anyway.

In about a week from now that endeavour should be well into its planning. Fingers crossed. About then I will publish pieces of a report I made out. In parts on a weekly basis, just remember I have short term memory issues, lol?

At the end of that I will explain all, for those that have not been digging around my archive and worked it all out.

After all I have been told that a bunch of people found things a rather enjoyable read.

Someone that dismissed me four years back, lol.

I will likely have furthered another endeavour by then? I may be posting about the outcomes to this too?

These cannot fail to be positive for me, whether the responses are positive or negative they fit in with what I do either way. This may come as a shocking realisation as to how I do things? Too late for many of this I can assure you.

Only a grand length of time would allow me to show the truths beyond all and any doubt.

That time is here.

So there are four things going on right now and I am trying to start another ... oooh which reminds me I have to go and try and start that one up ... AGAIN!

But then repeated failures also can show a story and repeated enough they become blindingly obvious!

I absolutely guarantee that once again a very large organisation is seriously underestimating me and will woefully be shown in a bad light. Well a few will but I am speaking of one in particular and I prefer not to let them see me coming.

After all ... something was taken away from me. An avenue was rudely slammed in my face. Well I can slam several faces at once in response to this. And I will.

Then there is the one phase that is not far off now I have thought about since before this blog was even started up. The ultimate endeavour.

At some point I must start preparing for this ultimate of endeavours.

But that is something for some point in 2016.

Ooh ... I just thought of another endeavour!

I have a particular video to upload to YouTube I have been sitting on for several days.

Damned FIBROFOG!

Yeah so I have a few things coming while I watch a rather bizarre Christmas approach and being left in the dark by the one person I could trust?

My word .... this is going to be an odd couple of months.

By the 1st January 2016 you will know exactly what I mean. Hopefully?!

STRANGE DAYS ARE HERE

Well this is odd.

A few days back, while I was ... extremely nauseous and in all day I mentioned in a post that I had a lot of ... texts in one afternoon. A lot.

I do not know many people, you have to remember, as I have lost three family members I could talk to, one friend died and another ran way without any further contact. Nearly 300 miles to be precise.

Leaving just one person.

Now everyone has their own lives these days, one serious buggered up, one somewhat ... complicated and heading for trouble and three with careers to deal with.

Others are headaches. Lol.

But five people contacted me on the space of a few hours, a couple several times, and this would be highly unusual in the space of one week.

I am now finding out why this is.

I have, as I have alluded, been sort of directly but slightly indirectly involved in a legal case. Just about everyone I know, knows about this but was kept from them for a couple of years. Until, that is, it was at the end and I had some concrete stuff to tell.

This involved the one person I could talk to. The one person I stated I had left.

I kept stating that things will be divulged in periods of time but it never happened. It still has not happened.

I had a lot of naysayers that committed their opinions far and wide and I knew this could be an issue but never thought it would come to that. It did.

Family and friends were not the issue and the one thing I did have there is that they knew I was not lying about anything. Never have I been accused of bulllshitting anyone. Though I have to admit to one person I do not have much dealings with claiming I was full of bullshit. But as some found out this was down to an ego, or jealousy that has gone on for years.

They were jealous of my knowledge and ability in three subjects, the five attarctice ex girlfriends I had, though I have been single for 13 years plus, along with everything else I knew and I could do.

Yes I suppose I can do a lot and I possess an extremely broad spectrum of knowledge ...

• Computer Science (To which I have a Degree)
• Amphibians (To which some would say I am unrivalled and have a Blog. I appeared in Asian Magazines)
• Reptiles (I have a blog)
• Fish (Specially Tanganyika, Malawi, Killies, American Darters/Dace plus Blog. I appeared in Asian Magazine)
• Orchids (Keep Tropical Orchids of hybrids and botanicals plus Blog)
• Astronomy & Astrophysics (Have a blog)
• British Wildlife (Have a Blog)
• Carnivorous Plants (No Blog)
• Lilies (Plants, no Blog)
• Wing Chun Kung Fu, Six & Half Point Pole, Nunchaku & Bo Staff (Very neglected blog)
• Photography
• Musical Knowledge (History, have a Blog)
• Mountain Biking (Appeared in What Mountain Bike with custom built Litespeed Ocoee)
• Also a crack shot with a gun, lol

But me personally? I do not think I have anything that others should be jealous or envious about but one particular person is. To a number of the above and my ex-girlfriends or all of the above and my ex-girlfriends.

Possibly my do-gooder personality too and that others see me as a kind of people's hero? I have had names like 'Modern day Robin Hood' and 'Sherlock' mentioned when others speak of me. I dare say that sort of thing happens with visitors to the blog too? At least the ones that have seen and listened to enough stuff?

I can sit in a room with professional people with far too high an opinion of themselves and their knowledge and run rings around them and get them to say things that destroy themselves.

Doubt that and you quite simply have not heard enough of my recordings I am afraid. Lol.

I get a lot of things right, not all but a lot more than most others would.

So when something goes wrong ... people take notice, often for completely the wrong reason. Often these would be unexpected reasons.

I was offered to stay overnight at a family members home just this morning. It was suggested when they recently visited.

As it turns out they are worried about how I have taken things in light of what recently has or rather has not happened.

They have realised that, that which they predicted was not a good theory to come true all along as that particular outcome would be ... hard to take.

They think it is mad.

They think it is grossly unfair. On me.

They think it is a huge undertaking I have taken it upon myself to achieve in just this one single endeavour.

They do not understand why it is currently in the place it is. That I can understand fully as I ddo not understand it either.

Theyu think my theories are sound and have admitted as much, or some have, but still think it is an evil think that has occurred while having difficulty coming to terms with their theories being reality and how anyone could do a thing like that.

See? No forethought! Lol!

So it turns out that many have started to worry and I imagine that they thought that if it was them ... well they would not be able to take it, handle it or get through it until the truth is revealed.

But I keep telling them the same thing over and over again.

This is the same thing I keep stating on here over and over again.

I plan for every eventuality. Every possible outcome.

I planned for this.

If I cannot get what I need to vindicate myself from the channels I expected there is always another way.

Plus there as always the possibility that I was being lied to.

So what is it that I do?

Well one is what I always do ... not put much in the way of recordings on here lately have I?

Now 100GB is a lot and though I have only put roughly a quarter of that on here that in itself is a hell of a lot.

I still record. I always will record.

I can publish the recording where the case is explained and a figure of £850,000 is asked for by a solicitor! Oops!

As for the case itself and me looking like one giant hoaxer on-line? Well no I am not and I have told people that if I got this wrong then I got this wrong and will hold my hands up to it.

But I need something to hold my hands up to!

Now I have endeavoured to find out through my own methods but it is just too hard and the British legal system is a mess and always has been. So what do you do?

You employ ... others with a vested interest to go after the documents!

I have held this back but I have three back-up plans and each of these has several ... facets. I have put two of them into effect.

Some nights ago now I was called within twenty minutes of sending an email off by a journalist who then spent nearly two hours on the phone listening in awe.

Compared to an attempt to get the news media industry involved in the past that was Hyper car speed that lightning would turn green over!

Hmm ... the News Media? 

Yes I said all along and from the outset that along with the legal industry and everyone else that the News Media was under my proverbial microscope!

I have not said much and that in itself has been key to my studying them.

Started by sending them a set of Four DVDs to see what they do with the contents, of which I have lost count of the mirror image stories that have appeared in the news.

I never even got a reply of thanks, either!

Now think of a national tabloid? I sent them my stuff!

I also sent them to a number of local newspapers too in Liverpool, Manchester, London and a few others besides. Nothing. Nada. Zilch!

I told them of the exact situation and told them that the payout was £750,000 ... or a little over! Yes siree that was the payout and as I said I have a recording regarding details of an amount asked for £100,000 higher than that.

It should have been over £1 Million!

Something went ... wrong! Never mind though ... the devil is literally in the details!

These journalists mounted their rocket-ships and prepared for launch to go and so their thing.

Instead of being left in the dark for an unknown amount of time I now have people that will report (no pun intended) back to me one way or the other.

So I have written two books on corruption and things that went on prior to this blog starting up three and a half years ago.

I have a third book to write about what went on behind the scenes while writing the blog and the things that occurred. Things I did not put in this blog.

As I said to a friend, I wanted to write a book about how I managed to succeed in the end and therefore reach even more people and help other victims too. I did not want to write that book about how I was a victim to one of the biggest hoaxes the UK has ever heard about!

So people have admitted that the not knowing and unfair treatment of lack of being paid back some of the £5,000 or my PIPs money might be having a detrimental effect on me that is an understatement to say the least.

I told them what I told my GP when he expressed the to me his concern about me regarding all this and thought the treatment of me confusing and unfair.

After things I have had to deal with over the years, all in my books waiting for a publisher, it is water off a duck's back my friend, water off a duck's back.

I cannot control not knowing and that is down to someone else not being very fair or nice about all this. Nothing I can do but wait.

I did what I now do because I do not have a choice. The explanation of which no one would disagree with and I cannot remain in the dark indefinitely. Because it is not only down to how I may appear but I also held much of my own stuff back to improve my life exponentially but also sacrificed a SLR Camera to help me with the blogs and YouTube and also a Reflector Telescope and a few other items.

I need to be able to explain I was right or hold my hands up and state clearly that this time I got it so very wrong and hold my head in shame at my naivety, stupidity and ignoring all the signs.

There were signs for both sides of the argument.

Well now that is being done for me by a number of different groups and I still have the third one available to me. Possibly available. 

That depends because if I was right and I have been ... cut off then I have option number 3. If I was wrong then option number 3 is going to be extremely unlikely. Still possible but just extremely unlikely.

That countdown to finding out has now begun.

I am just not going to predict a time frame but I am hoping it is before Christmas ... this year?!

LMAO!

Sorry about the wait ... it really is not my fault. I apologise anyway.

THE ACTS OF WAR

Funny that. I heard this statement several times and I find it bloody weird.

This is of course a statement made after those shocking and awful acts of murder in the French city of Paris.

I stood stunned at what was unfolding across the English Channel despite the fact that I had long since stated something big would take place there.

Maybe they should employ me?

In times like this you don't want to be proved correct but you just know that you will be.

It won't end there either. There will be worse to come and not just in France either.

What made me wince in pain was listening to leaders once again coming out with those awful lines about standing up together to face them.

Well you don't, do you?

Also the act of war statement no one had picked up on as first off we already are and there is military action taking place out there. What did they regard these as? Training? Bombing practice? Can't help thinking that statement was made in anger because he was at a football match they tried to get into before detonating their bombs?

So he actually took it personally when it was him that was targeted? Huh, claims to be a socialist? Lol!

All this murder because a large group of people are deluded about deities they claim are all powerful and love them. Except he never dues any work at all to help them!

Also because a bunch of men are so insecure that they strive for a world where their sons can continue to murder their daughters without reprisal.

Childish, deluded, backwards and out of date modern day loons!

It is not going to be good over the next few years!

I also heard that one UK policeman stated that they were calling for more police to go down to Oxford Street to show a presence. The group of people that were told gave their opinion on this ...

"A complete waste of time and money, it won't make a blind bit of difference."

You won't want to hear the other things that were said. Or should I day the news media won't want to hear it? Their constant banging on about political correctness has allowed societies to become one sided, unfair to nationals and built up a hatred, instead of having a warped idea of human rights and peace rammed down their throats.

You can guess what effects on these mindsets these attacks and others are having?

So now it's war are they going to send aircraft out into Syria and Iraq and prepare to kick arse? Oh wait? They are already there ... well on their training exercises. Maybe now they might level the place? It's what you have to do. Hit them back a hundred times worse. Multiply the bombs they used one hundred fold and wipe out swathes of them.

It's the only way they get several messages and learn the hard way that you cannot use everyone else, everyone else's money like leeches, pretend to peoples faces they are nice, using everyone else's technology, clothes, tools because your too backwards and stupid to use, make our invent your own and then have the attitude that your the master race!

Master of what, exactly?

Your proof?! Doing the bidding of an all powerful deity you claim to be as passionate as you but shows no evidence of his power? Not even a declaration of his dissatisfaction?

Your all raving lunatics and retarded to the point that you belong in the stone age. In fact that's not correct as societies in the stone age showed more humanity and sense than you do!

You would have to go back beyond two thousand years to find someone that barbaric and backwards.

Award barbarism with greater barbarism.

What I find also infuriating is that they come to other countries wanting the good things where they get given crap like the leeches that they are but reject other things. They whine, moan and complain they want the worlds they fled reinstated in their new lands.

Do anything in their countries of origin however and they want to murder everyone and blow everything to smithereens!

Two faced, lying, murdering retards!

There is someone not speaking to me right now and maybe never will again? I just got they remembered I said this was coming and that these people are seen for who and what they are?

A dark, wart like blemish on the world that needs to be surgically removed for any chance of peace in any country in the world.

Because you can be sure of one thing ... before long the murder and explosions will reach every country in the world.

Because your nice, blab on about human rights and as soon as your back is turned they sink a large and sharp knife into you until everything fades to black.

One day I might get a sign that countries are beginning to learn ... well before their populace is outnumbered that is and its took fucking late?!

All that is left for me to say is how sorry I am to all the family members and friends affected by the deaths of so many and the myriads of injured people.

MORE TESTING TIMES

A little different from the last one .. this one.

I finally got to the GP Surgery again today and I am back again on Thursday. This time I finally took in the two ... umm samples they wanted for testing and they took a load of blood, which would have been collected midday today.

Damn, that means they will phone me again after the weekend to get me in again?! God I hate all this running around and I will have to do more with two hospital referrals!

Back to the grindstone I thought I had finally escaped.

It is funny the things people say without thinking. I was getting the sort of usual crap off people I was expecting, due to being discarded and not thought about. Someone asked if I had heard anything and then remarked about how horrible it was.

I then pointed out that we do not know what had happened yet and that there were more than a dozen possibilities and I knew them all. He then replied with something I will get to right after reminding visitors here of what I have said over and over again which I have told people I know over and over again and they seem to forget.

I am interested in facts only.

I have stated, if you search this blog, several times that I am not one of these usual conspiracy theorists as governments have intentionally labelled them as mad.

But I do have theories on conspiracies and 90% of them I have gone out and acquired proof on and it is as simple as that.

Now I was speaking to another friend of mine who I first suspected had been told that I heard him say not very nice things about me on speaker-phone and then had confirmed he was told I heard it all. They seemed relieved I was talking to them but the truth is that was what I expected to start happening. They know this now and realise. So I had to play some jiggery-pokery and bobbing and weaving this last week. It is not over yet.

I told this friend that when I was explaining to the other mutual friend that there were possibilities he replied that 'your just making excuses for them'.

I am still protecting someone and something and I do not even know if there is anything there to protect?!

I pointed out to my friend today that our other friend stated something that did not make sense as I was merely pointing out that I cannot decide on anything because I do not know the truth. I have a list of theories and one of them is correct. Until I get absolute confirmation they remain ... all remain as mere theories.

How could that be making excuses and how does making excuses come into play at all when your someone only interested in the absolute facts?

I remember thinking 'Oh some I am supposed to start slagging them off, calling them names like 'selfish' and 'cruel' because this is now what you think?'

So I go with cruel, selfish and nasty and wind myself up over the situation and then what happens if it turns out to be one of the other theories I think it to be?

It is certainly not what I was told and this is the upsetting part. It isn't the money I paid out which has left me struggling for eleven months now, oh no.

It is being cut out, lied to and made to look like a fool and left to look like a fool for God knows how many months.

In those months having people press upon me their opinions and want me to start believing the worst when I do not even know what has happened or why?

*Sigh* ... people. They just do not think sometimes and get tired of it, pointing out the flaws in their theories that shows they have not thought it through, which they then do not like and then want to argue the point when they have no foundation to their argument whatsoever. Except for the actions of another party they have not even met or spoke to.

I am, however, hearing something from people more and more and have been told this by no less than four people now ...

'You have gone on and supported this emotionally and financially along with being prepared for this all your life. No one would have done as much in this case as you have done. You have done nothing wrong and acted exemplary. No one could judge you in this case, no one at all!'

Yet I always answer 'So why do I feel like I have not done enough?'

Also if I am being punished I have absolutely no idea why but come come up with something that is misguided. In fact I could probably come up with three things as I just thought of a second.

What I am worried about is that all my hard work and waiting will be used to flush out someone else in the hope that they will change, be the person they want or keep someone they want, at my expense.

Now that has the potential to not only end really, really badly but have me scouring the entire UK for someone I would highly likely want to kill.

I do mean that literally but cannot say for certain until it happens, if it happens but it is highly likely.

I will then end up in the papers using all the skills at my disposal but for all the wrong reasons ... yet as I told a friend today it is likely that the the entire nation ... well 90%, that this will for for all the right reasons?

Wont be any consolation if I am in jail, though likely wont be there too long?

Another day, another check on-line and another blank.

I am now worried that I will end up setting fire to a bridge that can never be rebuilt?

When the nausea I am feeling is not whacking me out that above is on my mind the whole time, except even that annoys me because there is nothing I can do about it.

What has happened has happened and I simply have to wait to find out and then move on.

Only for the first time in a very, very long time my Christmases might actually start being ruined again. Might only turn out to be one but it could end up being two?

As ever I have plans going through the motions and plans about to be set in motion that should avoid the ruined Christmases. They could prevent both but should certainly prevent he second Christmas?

Oddly enough and many years ago I had a whole string of Christmases ruined and it was more than five years before I started enjoying them again.

Even more bizarre was the fact that I thought I was really going to enjoy this coming Christmas! Now I think of those damnable mice and their concocting.

THE IMMIGRATION INEVITABILITY

Well now there have been a few things I have noticed of late. Cannot help asking myself some questions about them and where these complaints and issue come from in sine situations?

I think these must be done complete idiots out there or people who works financially, politically or benefit via power of countries are in turmoil over immigration?

Sorry of thing that needs to be outlawed and always ignored. Well ... one example.

First off was hearing of Syrians starting that there were people they see claiming to be Syrians that are not.

I test my case about Arabs and Africans, the most dishonest on the Internet from my own experience, not actually giving a flying fuck about their own people and being immoral.

Or maybe they are just the worst or most idiotic at being dishonest? Lol! One way or the other.

Angela Merkel defending something a minister said about immigration that obviously was against it. These are the idiots I referred to earlier who will benefit from immigration from turmoil financially.

Well either they benefit or they are scared of their own shadow ... err I mean scared of these people and think they won't personally be harmed if they are seen or heard of being nice, read bend over with your pants round your ankles, to these amoral and murderous morons? One way or the other.

Then I read in a report that they are now expecting 2 million migrants into the EU? Well ... that's a big number. What, you expected 2 million Tuesday night? Or over the next 2 years?

The funny thing is that despite the sarcasm and what with 200,000 arriving in like a day recently, I think it was, the first part of the sarcasm might not be far from the truth. If not now then probably before very long?

Umm .. aren't all the Arab countries teetering on collapse, trouble, political struggle and civil war, the latter either the first time in years or once again in just a few years?

Eventually in Britain we will be wall to wall people with Brits dropping from being knifed in the back while anyone visiting anywhere between Libya and Pakistan will see nothing other than hearing the of faint cry of a high flying eagle that will outline the abandoned mass of tens of thousands of square kilometres of land.

Viewed from above there will be land going to waste in vast swathes. While on the UK you will hear a splash every now and then as someone loses their balance on the edge of the land beside the sea. Being squeezed of the edge by the sheer number crammed into the land.

They will be standing side by side of course because there are no fucking houses!!

LMAO!!

Home Office criticised over delays in immigration cases - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-34770135

THE OLYMPIAN PREDICTIONS

Well ... do you know what I am going to say?

I've stated from the outset that I have a gargantuan amount of digital data of evidence of corruption.

I stated that I will, did and still do get a great deal more along the way.

I also stated that I will rip the crap out of news reports, political figures and other things and make some predictions of my own.

I also said that you should keep an eye out and make notes because copycat stories to mine will appear in the news media.

Working or acknowledged me is just too hard, especially when I consistently show up how bad and overpaid you are.

I also pointed out that my theories and predictions would reveal themselves to be true in time.

Is it safe to assume that your now thinking I am working to to something or things?

Sebastian Coe is a complete dick!

Now he is proving it, even if he thinks most don't realise yet.

You simply cannot make political statements like he did without being both a dick and a hypocrite.

This is coming out as yet another sport is now being ripped apart over doping accusations.

Now it's the Russians and of course it's state run. Ooh that means I get two birds with one stone?! 

Vladimir Putin.

I'm starting to think it is looking increasingly impossible to find something out somewhere where there is no corruption? Or lies or manipulation of a countries public that are either mostly naive or will just openly support a political figure that is a liar, a dick, twat, dictator, whatever because over particular aim supports you personally.

Or is a like to call it, your completely selfish and amoral.

Luckily they are also in the minority as it's also been obvious for the longest time that Russian elections have been rigged.

Seb Coe complains about people on benefits, not working when ...

• Running for an hour a day is not a job

• Cheating is attempting to avoid waiting and therefore WORKING, you fucking idiot. Feel stupid much?

• Stupid statements made regarding 'working' when the world is full of people make a music album, film etcetera and make enough to last a lifetime'

• The rest want to be like this ... which is both the reasons why capitalism works, almost everyone is greedy, and communism doesn't.

• Attempting to argue about how very little work can still be a job will have me point out that the word 'work' is scientific and means 'working' against gravity ... we all have jobs! Called 'getting up in the morning'

•     • For some that 'getting up' might not have many things throughout that day worthy of getting up for? But we have to do it, just the same.

Except for cheaters of course. Because they could have made enough in that day to buy a new LaFerrari? Or enough property so they don't have to work again.

That's the bit that really, really annoys me and that if I met enough famous people live on TV there would be a while library of me breaking peoples noses out giving them black eyes. Lol.

As would those that actually think that lying and manipulating people to cause heartbreak, pain and suffering is OK but would frown upon anyone threatening broken teeth out a black eye.

I'd give those ones both!

Then I would remind them that they are still alive, moaning about any violence insinuates murder so they should feel lucky.

Then I would remind them that what I just did would heal up in a very short space of time.

Then I would point out that the effects of their own lying, manipulating and desertion would not heal in a few days, weeks, months or even years and ask 'Now which of us two of the greater evil?'

Few medical idiots suffering with delusions of grandeur I would like to put that and do that too.

Because ignorance needs a fucking good kick up the arse before the morons being ignorant (and completely WRONG) wake up.

Plus I can record it and post it on my blogs and YouTube channel. Just to price to even more ignorant people, lol.

So then? More and more coming out to be rotten then? Yup I spoke to someone about a report that stated they might have found evidence of alien life in another solar system far more advanced than ours ... why would they come here when every single government, political group, country or sports people cannot do things honourably, honestly or do an honest days work or be honest to each other?

What chance do you think they would have?

I replied with this when the words 'load of bollocks' was replaced with 'they would have already seen us or been here'.

The odd thing is that I am absolutely certain that they would all answer 'your not being realistic' upon asked why they do this.

I would answer 'I would wager that there are many civilisations far, far more advanced than ours that refuse to communicate because they think that exact same thing about you?!'

Prevention of the advancement of a species because of personal gain, money, power or idiot religions.

I just gestured with my head, titled forwards, to place my head in my hands ... before remembering they are currently busy!

Lol.

Ooh would you look at that?

I'm working!

Athletics doping: Wada commission wants Russia ban - http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/athletics/34765444

A SHORT NOTE ON NAUSEA

Well after thinking I had finally gotten rid of the nausea it has just returned.

In fact it felt almost turbo charged and I just finished, finally, FarCry 3 and I stood up and woah!!

Things literally spun like crazy and I heaved and thought I would throw up, not done this yet but still feel as if I will even sitting here typing!

Damn and blast!

I have had enough of this nausea and it is obvious now it is progressive and I am not prepared to tolerate this any longer!

Even as a child I would avoid absolutely anything that would make my equilibrium go haywire. Spinning around on the spot ro make yourself dizzy? Ooh no, a no-no. Even rides in amusement parks and the like, even the tamer ones ... a definite no-no.

In fact now that I am thinking about it I can remember having conversations about this with several ex-girlfriends about why I am not big on theme parks and those rides that make your head spin in particular.

I often also pointed out that as well as difficulty with those rides I have also never made a good passenger in a car. If I am in a car with someone that darts about, accelerates quickly and brakes late ... my God that is a fate worse than death! Buses and coaches are also hated for the same reasons.

Once it starts it is hard to get rid of while your in a moving vehicle of any kind.

So you can imagine my concern ... no absolute fear that this is coming on so easily the last few years and now does not even need very much at all to bring about.

I thought it might have had something to do with missing my prescription pills, but no. I did take a Metoclopramide this morning but was several hours ago and just took another.

Fingers crossed.

THE INORDINATE ERA

This week I have been counting up hours. Mostly daily.

I have currently lost count and so with a quick calculation in my head ... umm ... it has been 144 hours, not counting today.

It has been a tough week in more ways than one.

Along with the daily severe back pain I have had nausea and sickness from what I become convinced was Helicobactor pylori, a stomach infection.

At the exact same time I was waiting for something to happen. Something that would have helped me a great deal. Money was what I was waiting for and just a percentage of what I myself have paid out over the last eleven months, though it was going on longer than this.

I have never really worked it out but in the last eleven months along it would not surprise me if it totalled £5,000 or more. Never looked and did not really care.

But I was left in an awkward situation more times than I care to remember that had a detrimental effect on my health. Noted by others I got ... let us say pressure from.

Some things cannot go unnoticed.

Unfortunately this has not happened and in a week that I really needed that money back.

Unfortunately this was not meant to take place at all as this was the second week I was awaiting notification on actions.

Actions that seemed to have their own plans that people thought was OK not to tell me about. Or the fact that the plan expected me to be OK with another 3 month wait on the 4 or 5 months this has continued to drag on?!

Thoughtless I am afraid.

What makes matters worse is this very subject ... let us say ... endeavour also gave me a huge amount of grief. Because I decided to come clean about it with everyone once I was told it was shortly to be over. Only it wasn't shortly to be over. I lost count of the 'one week', 'two weeks', 'two months' and 'another 6 weeks' I was told.

The news was a very major thing and at first everyone thought I had lost my mind, I even overheard someone saying as much and no I was not eavesdropping. I was simply in a car when someone was on speaker-phone. I was called crazy and statements about my drugs that do not alter my mental state ''must be altering his mind" altering my mental state.

You see I knew it would come and it is not over yet and only going to get worse, unless I am not ... in this damned pickle.

Remember this is in a week where my pains have been nose diving, except my feet thank God, and this terrible nausea continuing for a few weeks. I now have been prescribed pills for.

I also have been requested to do a barrage of blood tests and two separate stool samples have to be provided!

Now what I have not told ... certain people and not put on here is that both my father and my uncle died in their mid fifties. I am nearly 47. I might not look it, especially with my bloody shirt off lol, but I am.

Due to the health problems I already had that have persisted for years and the sudden huge fluctuations in my blood pressure I think I will not make it much past my father's or uncle's age. I am the next one in that line with this genetic Fibromyalgia problem and no one in the family has my number of symptoms.

It is not exactly 'rocket science'!

Also my health is not helped and aggravated my my home, surroundings and lifestyle. Something I cannot do anything about. Well ... I have been working towards but cannot do anything immediately about.

Also the NHS are doing their Sloth rate in the hope that I buy the farm before my time for a whole list of reasons.

I also blog a great deal, though admittedly the balance of my posts on blogs has been a little off. But this was in the process of changing and due to the £5,000 I paid out I have not got the tools I had planned to get this year.

So when it starts to look like someone does not care about me and just used me along with possibly lying to me for a number of years leading me to believe that the biggest legal case the UK has ever seen has been no more than someone's fantasy is a little hard to take.

The last person on Earth I ever thought, well thought would never, lie to me.

I also thought the very minimum they would have learned is that word 'reciprocation'? But no.

People are now deciding that the whole thing is and was a lie. They have tried to convince me of this for a fair old while, 90% of the time since I declared what would be received from this case.

There are several possibilities ...

• A) Subject Person 'S' - That fabricated the whole thing
• B) Subject Person 'D' - Fabricated the whole thing as some punishment for something?
• C) Subject Person 'S' - Has intervened after being made aware ... this will blow up in time and destroy the whole thing as subject  Person 'S' was part of the damned case
• D) Subject Person 'G' - That intervened directly with a wedge and an agenda
• E) Subject Person 'G' with Person 'L' & perhaps 'J' - Gave an ultimatum
• F) Any of the above could have given an ultimatum
• G) Subject Person 'L' - Has an agenda with an unfair percentage
• H) Subject Person 'A' - Has an agenda and a greed and will suffer in the long run

I do not like being lied to and I do not like being kept in the dark, messed about and played childish games with.

I always know what the possibilities are and little details and things said narrow these possibilities down. To one of the above. That is all of them. There are no others.

All in the list above are messages too. This means that they are clues and that the meanings can be solved by looking at the message details. Kind of a code.

Now I am going to state here that I do not believe this is anything to do with parts 'A', 'B' or 'C'. But some do.

I do strongly believe it has something to do with parts 'D' to 'H'.

Now I will know at some point and in all honesty some of those involve me becoming very active and very loud while others involve me physically hurting people. I am not going to deny this fact. Because it warrants this and no one with an IQ higher than 30 would argue this point. Or will not when the time comes.

What I find funny is that they really have no idea of what it is they have bitten off here and added to that ... neither has the one who has decided to play games.

Now if I believe I have made a mistake about one thing that's very vital then I will have to question all that I have decided upon previously.

Much of my actions and my money gets divided up based on what I think is taking place as does that I type out and post up on my blogs. I am laughing here and how everyone always forgets about my blogs. Or what else I have at my disposal.

In fact I always find it extremely insulting to think that whoever it is has not thought for one moment that I do not have a list of contingency plans ready to put into motion.

And that leads me up to the fact that there are many things I both prepared for and bought for a plan that got blown out of the window. I put mountains of things away in my loft prior to leaving town that I am now not doing.

I was doing some printing out when two thirds of the way through a document my damned printer suddenly decides to 'NOT RECOGNISE' my ink cartridge. Hmm I wonder if my Epson Software updated recently. I had a row with them some time ago, everyone that works for these companies always thinks they know everything about the company and that they are smarter than everyone else! Lol! They spoke 'bullshit' to me when I said they were updating the software to look for third party ink cartridges and then cause the printer to refuse to work.

Bullshit, Epson. You do and in fact I would wager that you all do!

I have no sympathy for you when your cartridges cost close to ten times more than they should! If I can buy them at a 10th of the price then your either extremely greedy or extremely naive and stupid.

As your actually Seiko, the watch people, I am not happy that you want to charge £80 for leather straps for your Sportura watches either! Yes I have one and they use straps with a curve against the watch body. Something that you cannot buy third party.

Seiko? £40 qould have been taking the absolute piss ... it is not a Rolex, Omega, Jaeger, Tag Heuer or Breitling. It is a Seiko Sportura, or not your own Arctura, and it is a fucking leather strap! You greed lying twats!

So yeah it has been a tough time.

Only it has been made ten times as tough by the person I thought I had a good rapport and partnership with.

I just do not know if this will continue on because the longer they leave it, be thoughtless and/or angry or even stupid the worse this gets for me. It does not get better, it get worse.

Except for one thing. Putting the plans in place I was holding back on until I was up there. These plans I am afraid have the real danger of turning your battleship over on the water.

Because fabrications and lies simply cannot exist in my world. People would have wanted to know about a huge case this size but this being a lie just turns it into a huge hoax of the most cruel and vile kind performed against the person least deserving of treatment of this kind.

Plus, of course, there was that which I endured.

I was both expecting to be requested a meeting with someone and heard my name mentioned, or told it was, several times. What happened to that? No one mentioned me? 

Story of my life I am afraid, lol. But not for much longer now.

Oddly the aim was to actually do something of a bit more sacrificing. Once my own agenda was reached there would inevitably be a decision over ... location. This decision has been made for me and my window area is now a great deal bigger then it was previously. It will just take a little longer, or so I think, to reach that window.

Though on that last part it would be nice when this was one of those times when it happened a great deal quicker than I expected.

Previously I was convinced that by January 2016 that the possibility would open up like the proverbial floodgates but now that previous avenue looks unlikely to dead in the water.

But my next course of action can still take place, it just wont be taking place in the location I thought it was and likely will not have the backing I thought it would. Though that last part is still a real possibility.

There is something like 7 weeks until January 2016 and that I thought would take place could still take place. The link is there and undeniable provided that I thought would happen does happen.

I do not need to be there in that location. It matters not if I am here.

I also may not need this link at all?

So I can put some things in place and wait and see and by January I will know and I can still reach that milestone I wanted to and had hoped to. Mind you this is something that could have conceivably happened back in May and any time onwards. So it is running a little late. Lol.

This action I take is now my only option of escaping a living hell I am already living. One that will get worse so the sooner I get positive feedback and, far more importantly, facts and evidence to silence the murmurings from naysayers and the awkward questions the better.

I was asked again today by another party why I was still here and that they said I told them that I would be benefiting too from all this. That the solicitors had wanted to speak to me because of my involvement going on 20 years.

I may not have many friends I see regularly but I have many friends I see from time to time and an endless list of associates and also acquaintances. It will be a nightmare.

Then there are the quarter of a million or more that have visited my blogs and YouTube channel!

Unfair pressure, stress and a living nightmare while my blood pressure, fibromyalgia, back pain and itense nausea have all been dogging me badly while being skint due to the money laid out.

The words 'nasty' and 'really unfair' have been banded about and I do have to remind people that there are no facts to state what is going on. I also state that it will remain this way until evidence presents itself one way or the other.

By December though it will look frighteningly obvious.

Three more days to pay-day and Fallout 4!

That will keep me busy for several weeks while everything else starts to pan out and I can build up some wonga again!

Though it is going to take me somewhat longer to get the Nikon D810a SLR camera and a couple of lenses along with an Celestron CGEM 800 Reflector Telescope or Celestron Rowe Ackermann Astrograph or the Revelation 8 RC Carbon or the Celestron Advanced VX 8 Schmidt-Cassegrain Scope.

They were tools needed and planned early in the year and I had £1,300 towards this, half way to the price of the Nikon D810a camera body. By February that would have been in my possession and I would only need a few months to get the lenses and another few for the scope.

Yes there are some other desirable items I wanted too. An Astell & Kern Hi-Res Music Player, as I use a player most days while out. Also always wanted a pair of Shure 535's but noted Astell & Kern do a dreamy but overpriced par of headphones, lol. Wondering about this DSD audio codec and if it is as good as I have been hearing? Think it is all fluff myself.

Being a typical guy, well part of the time, I am also into the typical male jewellery item and oddly enough nothing else jewellery wise. The classic timepiece. Always loved some of the Rolex's and Omega's and absolute favourites are some very expensive Jaeger LeCoultre's, like AMVOX models. But a Tag Heuer Carrera is what I think is the most gorgeuos watch out there and have done for about 5 years now.

I am sure you can pick up my DNA from the windows of Earnest Jones jewellers?! Lol!

But the watch is the least practical of my wanted list.

I do tend to lean towards those things that can allow me to be more productive.

However ... I have turned buying almost anything into being productive.

The more things I acquire the more videos and pictures, content, I take that end up on my YouTube channel and my various blogs. Along with whatever it is a write about them. The more content on my blogs and YouTube channel the faster I attract new people and the faster I get to half a million people.

But for the whole of 2015 this took second place. Well ... actually it took no place at all and was put on hold while I ploughed up to £5,000 helping someone else out with food, bills and fares for trains, buses and petrol to get to and fro from courts and solicitors.

Ooh yeah maybe I should point out that this was all paid via digital banking? Ergo it is traceable. So I can prove that I did this! Lol!

I bet no one thought of that either?!

So I have that and my options still open to me. 

It is just annoying when I think I am still holding back and still protecting someone when I do not even know if they need protecting?

Though if anything pops up in the news media in a big way, which by rights it should, then there is no longer a need to protect.

Also If I find out that the whole thing was a massive hoax to get back at me ... lol, well then there is also no longer a need for any protecting. *SIGH*

Well not long now at any rate.

Wink-Wink.