Wednesday 22 October 2014

TEN MORE GOD DAMN MINUTES

Y I thought about the title, 'what a difference ten minutes make' but thought it too corny.
I cannot quite believe how relaxed I am considering. But then it's pain free right now and that is something I thought I would never be happier about.

I said before I thought I was over the what and was wrong? I was wrong again. Good god I have been getting things wrong a lot of late! Queue a stomach feeling like it's trying to rip out of my abdomen and a spleen feeling like it's taking part in a Predator movie! Burning in the posterior and vomiting when everything was long gone and staying to get a great deal hotter and sweaty.

I cos not take it anymore and feck the ultimate embarrassment to my ultimate nightmare this had to stop. I could not take the chance that Tramadol could make it worse so I reached for my phone and dialled '111' which is the new NHS direct number.... sort of. But I could not hold a conversation in the state I was in and had to hold out for a... lull,  so to speak. It came, I rang, the lull soon left! Next I was unable to speak and holding my guys in pain while vomiting yet again. I simply wanted to know if I could take the Tramadol once I had handed over all the symptoms, are rather answered all the questions.

Returning to the phone I was told an ambulance was on its way. Well I had not hung up and neither did she and the poor girl obviously heard it all for several minutes though it felt more like thirty to me. Good knows what it was like for her.

So I did it. I finally have in during one of those nights that I anyways thought I would die before agreeing to an ambulance coming for me? When I was told I was past caring. That... was... unthinkable!

Eventually I realised I had given them completely the wrong number so had to dial '999' to get the correct number to them. There was a little confusion but eventually he came. Alone so the government can meet its targets?! Yeah I told him what I thought of the government and is targets and that there is never any comeback for those that cause these things.

Oh the pain? Well damn typical on the one hand while a relief on the other but it had died down to manageable levels just before he arrived. Go figure! In fact the phone call to correct the phone number I say told the ambulance was outside. I was hot, sweating like mad, becoming nauseous and hanging into the wall but appreciating the cool air in nowt but a robe. It was several more minutes beige he come and things were settling back down. My blood pressure was high, unusually, and he noticed I was hot and clammy but I said this were dying down now. Temperature seemed to be fine and I was told, to my complete relief, that the Tramadol would be fine. He tried to put me off going to hospital and I said I was fine with that, I only wanted to stop the pain and know it is OK to take the Tramadol.

Please God, that is how desperate I am, let that be the end of it?!

At least I have some respite right now and I'm shit scared, another pun, of eating anything. Drinking too and was not happy taking water to treasure the pills even.

I will have to get to the bottom of this to make sure it never happens again, if it's at all possible.
Did I record it? Yeah, not only did I not want to record it but it was the last thing on my mind while vomiting fresh air repeatedly and having the feel of emery paper and ignited petrol while trying not to break my rib/tear ligaments from my rib again! Still hurts from the list time I did it secession days ago and I dare say it will be a fair old while before that stops being tender?!

He asked how much I right it hurt so I pointed out my severely under used the section Wing Chun wall back filled with gravel of different sizes. I tell him I can punch it high speed and hard and shock a lot of people. He gets to here about the Fibromyalgia, hernias, being run over and various other things. He gets the general idea.

Huh, life eh?

How does it vary so much from person to person? I always think it is down to simple mathematics and the laws of averages. Two people may own want the and car but one never has so much of a scratch while the other has half a dozen. There are always two extremes and everything in between. It's the laws of mathematics you can not escape. So why have I spent all these years battling so hard to change them?

I just wanted to see if I could. I don't like the thought that this are predestined. Despite having a theory supporting it I am determined to destroy that theory I have been holding onto all these years.
It is not a case of proving that nothing is set in stone, that would be impossible. Some things will never change that is just how it is. But to be truly ground breaking... well you have to do some breaking of your own.

Now if you will excuse me I have not slept more than about two hours in... umm... 36? Give our take?

Hopefully this will be a good night? Oh crap, just remembered I have to sort out the cursed DWP! BUMMER!

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