THE END RESULT

Well not sure it's an end result ..

I'm currently trying to cause myself pain .. while avoiding someone .. catching me at it. Oh that is now stinging.

The person is actually watching me.

I think she is a nurse? Not entirely sure.

Well I had another bad night of coughing up phlegm .. hardly slept then woke up with fairly bad anxiety. Took two Diazepam that helped then seemed to sleep for a couple hours.

Woke up again with anxiety all because of a phone-call last night and not the person you might expect.

Good God I'd love another cup of tea.

I'm in hospital..

Ended up ringing '111' and once again ended up with an ambulance. They end up talking me into coming here when I made up my mind I didn't want to go into hospital, hence why I rang '111'.

Now I'm harming myself because after talking to two people which took not too long I feel like I've now been waiting for three hours for a Psyche Team.

It's now 16:18 so it's dark and in sure I called '111' around 10.30am to 11am.

I'm anxious about getting back to the flat and wishing I hadn't called now.

Still the cup of tea and sandwich was nice.

However I wondered if having energy for the first time in days as fuelled the anxiety. I was OK ish in the ambulance. Had taken two Metaclopramide so didn't feel too nauseous on the journey. Pleased about that. Well I was.

Now though it's this damned anxiety .. I'm in a room with one armchair and one sofa .. green.

I'm also bored, nowhere to charge the phone and .. I was told to bring my charger so thought I could use it more?! No TV .. just waiting on a room for some team.

Oddly it sounded like from someone earlier I might be able to get help?

I thought this was a relief but then started to have this anxiety.

If I could get placed somewhere and transferred back to London somehow with my car moved, or provided with the money to do this, this would be .. great.

Also .. there's that damn meeting at the Job Centre in this strange land. If they could also do something about that? Or give me the means to get them off my back for a month? Maybe even two?

Here's hoping!

..

NOPE!

Waste of time.