HOUSE OF PAIN

Oh .. you know not of how many levels of which I speak about pain.

But last night took an awhile turn .. to the point my normally narcissistic .. ahem, member of my family tried to talk to me twice about what was happening. They also knew it had been all night too?! Not sure how.

In what was a very .. very rare occasion they looked concerned. I still doubt they will do what needs to be done if it ever gets to that. Like call an emergency number. Well .. yes it is true I never do that myself .. but not for myself. If it was someone I deeply cared about then yes. I just never call anything other than '111' for myself and never ever do that in these instances.

There are those times when your suffering and even badly so and you just want to suffer alone. It is as if anyone being around makes things worse? Not sure anyone can relate?

I am in pain as of right now .. just less so than I was. I did get to sleep around 10am .. ish. It is 11.43am now and I've been awake about 40 minutes and this was down to pain. Quite unfortunately.

I've .. something else going on to that's .. well it's just so peculiar .. no .. 'peculiar' is the wrong word and does not do it justice. Despite the illness that afflicts my daughter currently after another .. 

exploratory and biopsy .. she was blown away at these recent .. developments.

Trust me when I say it very much goes against all odds. And then some.

My daughter thought up the exact same to theories that I did.

One theory went out the window. There are .. three theories but .. one? Just too darn crazy to consider. The odds? Astronomical and that's not even considering any outcome, which I'd also say right now was equally unlikely.

I mean me being ..

I mean .. she being .. all that ..

Lol.

Maybe at a later date I'll talk more about that. I really don't even know where to start with it all and where I would go with it all?!

I mean .. after recent events didn't seem to pan out could I even use words like 'kindred'.

'Kindred' is a word that my late friend Old Ken never thought would EVER be used to describe anyone associated with me. Ever. I do believe I've stated as much within this blog going back to the beginning.

Yeah .. I can't really ever be accused of ever hiding anything and I can't be accused of claiming things I didn't say .. that's the good thing about blogging. Everything is dated with even a time provided for the posts.

No point in hiding anything.

Oh and .. yeah .. I still possess .. umm probably over 50GB data and yes .. I did think of get the rest up during 2017 but it kind of didn't work out. What with everything else that occurred.

Also .. though it would have certainly brought my blogs up to much higher numbers than I have now ..

Yeah that's the thing about maths .. it has a much greater effect the higher the number of monthly visitors when I do start to publish them.

I also have to go through them all because target foolishly I never renamed the files. As there are dozens and dozens of them and with my memory I can't remember half of them and the ones I do of never find.

Yes, yes there are certainly dozens were I am told more lies .. but which lies and where they are?

Maybe this year at some point I'll get around to sorting then into some sort of order? If I can get them sorted across half a dozen folders, maybe?

Ooh I was supposed to try and get my medication today?! Damn it! Just keeps being postponed.

Oh and I also wanted to try and get out with my damn camera equipment.

This is heading for a bad ending currently. .. I just know it.

Still in pain too.

Daughter still in pain and hearing now she has to return to hospital after they have given her a second lot of the exact same antibiotic they gave her in the beginning?! Well that is a full gone conclusion then and a pointless exercise?!

Heard from my solicitor over my court appearance that is getting ever closer .. yeeeahh not got my printer and would not have space for it if I were able to retrieve it anyway!

Good God, man. I hope that they do attend this hearing. If I fail to turn up because of my health I am worried that this would go against me, though rather incompetently so if it does. If it has looked for two years like I have had a representative that also does not turn up?!

Yeah like I said .. no printer, daughter's cancer worse than they thought, pain, anxiety and memory problems getting worse as is my sleeping, heading south for the winter like everything else. I am worried this will be used and twisted so that they can get what they want.

I am starting to wonder who you would complain to about the HMCTS before I have even had the court hearing?!