WHEN RAINING PAIN

Before I start this I should point out that what is explained is a series of lies and failures stemming from bigoted, fascist leftists that have infected everything.

From every public service from the NHS to local councils and including Age UK and people like the Citizen's Advice who can only be described as

• Evil

• Lazy

• Incompetent

Note:

Just got off the phone and the murderer, domestic abuser, multiple rapist Muslim has just dolt Police, while on probation, that he wants to move to Bangor in North Wales. Which is where his victim fled to, to get away from him.

Turns out he is also now driving around in a Range Rover just like his bother involved in a stabbing incident I previously talked about. And he is said to be seeing an ex-girlfriend he met previously that would put her at 12 years old. Ergo a third victim.

And attempting to fish for information he told the authorities he has spent an evening with his previous victim and children to try and fish for details and locations. But as she is over 100 miles away, not likely. Nor would have have taken it will with the new partner his victim has and someone would have got seriously injured.

And he has told them he has £134,000 in a bank account and wants to buy a house in Bangor.

Annoying as if he DOES have money I can assure you he is funded by the evil, fascist leftists who hate me and its widely know I am linked to him.

While I get no support of any kind and Age UK passed personal details onto Antifa which was leaked online several times. Information NOT available online.

So not only do I not get help or any funding or disability as a disabled person these two drive around and get handed money and cars.

The Police are not getting nervous, well of course because if he hurts or rapes someone else with the knowledge I have on his history, it will cause the biggest unrest the UK has seen in decades.

Oh I also had a leg lock up and got froze to the spot in the bathroom.

Very painful but all I can think about is what if this happened to me down by the River Thames?

I have issues with motion and pubic transport has gradually become a problem and a fear and when this started happening on trains I could not believe it. Alcohol is the only thing I know that stops this but you cannot travel around half-drunk all the time.

That was 7 years ago and the NHS and DWP just fucking ignored it like everything else while whipping me like a slave and sticking the knife in my back along with other public authorities for years.

People literally ask me how I have not left a trail of dead bodies and burning buildings in my wake.

End Note.

Getting back on track .. so yeah I may have broken my had a few weeks back, or even re-broken it, as it still hurts. I cannot do the exercise required to deal with my condition. Also I have not been out on my bike because of the weather and currently not even sure I can ride if this had does not heal up.

Not only do I have trouble getting the bike out of the building but I am also having issues with my heart now too, likely because I have not done the exercising I am supposed to do which is cycling.

Now then .. a 4 bedroom house has been handed over, to the victim mentioned above and they remarked about wanting to keeping things off social media .. and now the home is fully furnished and occupied.

Now its time to get out my other guns. Yeah that .. authority will not get my attention but I am far from finished and other authorities need to be focused on.

Covered these for years but whether people are just blind and stupid or whether the powers that be were successful in suppressing me or a bit of both, I do not know. But my social media presence, which also grew like lightning before slowing to a crawl, allows me to get more of this out to more people.

In more places than the leftists are aware of.

Which they have never uncovered.

Funny thing is I was mentioning this to someone the other day .. three years of this and they have dived down everywhere, two platforms I am on and then there are the phishing emails and a profile I set up years ago I have not bothered. I get emails all the time fro them saying 'You are being noticed' whereas I went years without anyone batting an eyelid.

Now this is something else I have long covered and trust me when I stated that I have the letters, medical records, witnesses as well as recordings for the institution that had Seals ling streets up and down the country clapping their flippers together like a bunch of brain-dead morons.

The National Health Service.

The have lied about two special needs children that could have cost them their lives and lied about the entire family.

Recently I reported that they had refused to see one child that had very smelly fluid coming out of her ear. They asked the mother to take found swabs over a couple of months .. because they lost them all. There is STILL no diagnosis.

They previously refused to see another little girl who had a fit and seizure and that was 18 months or so ago.

This was a little girl who has had several ambulances called out for her over 3 to 4 years.

Both are special needs that even the various schools they attended know that the NHS have not only dragged their feet, refused to see but then LIED ABOUT. No ifs or buts about it, I am a professional and I was involved and they lied about it. No .. Covid was not the excuse.

So I had the mother crying on the phone as it turned out the daughter that had been rushed to hospital several times as now been recognised as having a heart murmur.

Who, I should add, should not have been made to do Physical Education and this has now had to stop.

They mother and her boyfriend was asked if the little girl's lips had ever turned blue after stating that the rest of the children would need to be tested. The answer was no.

Sitting in a park later the two adults looked at each other when the father figure in this situation said 'but the other 'girl's' lips have turned blue a couple of time?!'

This is the older girl who has not been seen, treated been examined and refused appointments and had her disability lied about. The NHS Paediatrician lied about this two years ago. The ear issue has been going on for the best part of a year.

I am only getting back on this now because they public services were all over their rapist, murderer, domestic abuse of a father because the socialists in the NHS and Local Council are racist.

You want confirmation of this you only need speak to the mother. And when people try someone steps in each single time and warns them off.

No one ever comes across as genuinely helping and those that promised to never did and/or only in it for what they thought they could get out of it.

I myself have reported as being in a lot of pain and I am not seen by the NHS because they are lying, cheating, cold, callous self-serving bar stewards.

I am in pain and suffering every single say and for 3 years wondering if I will make it to the next week in one piece, if not dead then lost my marbles.

I have lost tens of thousands of pounds myself, 90% of my belongings, a home, a car and a business because of corrupt institutions likelihood

• NHS

• DWP

• Local Councils

I used to refer to these three as the evil trinity and I stated that it was a ruse to save money and fuck anyone and their pain and suffering and if you get the NHS to lie then the other two also save a bundle.

Oddly it only affects British born people.

I also have a witness to this was was a social worker for over 20 years who is a Type 1 Diabetic who now has also been lied to himself and they keep giving away his medication.

I am trapped with three mental cases and one a narcissistic socialist whose own grandchildren wont have anything to do with because everything has to be about them.

The social worker calls her 'Hitler's Wife' and says that despite having nothing in the way of medical conditions hers has to be worse then everyone else's despite mine being in the top 20 of most painful.

A legal expert told me I am owed £250,000 in loses and I assure you its £100k more now and that's without the suffering and pain.

1. PAIN- in the muscle: often described as aching, burning, throbbing, gnawing, shooting, tingling. Almost always exacerbated by exercise and may or may not be present at rest. Can be migratory and differing from day to day.

Told NHS for years.

2. FATIGUE- From feeling tired to exhausted and requiring rest periods during the day.

Told NHS for years.

3. SLEEP DISTURBANCE- not being able to fall asleep and or able to stay asleep. Unrefreshing sleep patterns " feels like I haven't slept."

Told NHS for years.

4. PARESTHESIA- numbness or tingling. ( non dermatomal)

Told NHS for years.

5. DEPRESSION- most often reactive as with chronic pain condition.

Told NHS for years

6. ANXIETY- may include panic attacks.

Told NHS for years

7. PERSONALITY CHANGES- usually a worsening of a previous tendency.

Told NHS for years

8. MOOD SWINGS

9. SUBJECTIVE SWELLING OF EXTREMITIES- i.e. feels swollen but no-one can find anything.

10. HEADACHES- tension and or migraine.

Told NHS for years.

11. COGNITIVE FUNCTION PROBLEMS: calculation difficulties, memory disturbances, spatial disorientation, difficulty with concentration, short

Told NHS for years.

term memory loss.

12. FREQUENT UNUSUAL NIGHTMARES- or being unable to dream.

13. DYSTONIA- stiff muscles due to involuntary contracture. Difficulty in moving tongue to speak.

14. FREQUENTLY SAYING WRONG WORDS

15. BURNING SENSATIONS

16. LIGHT HEADEDNESS- "Fibro Fog", spaced out, cloudy.

Told NHS for years.

17. MORNING STIFFNESS

18. EASY BRUISING

19. MILD BUTTERFLY RASH- (LUPUS TYPE) May be photo sensitive.

20. NEUROGENIC INFLAMMATION- rashes, may be severe itching. NI causes the symptoms and signs of Dermatographia.

Told NHS for years.

21. DISEQUILIBRIUM- Vertigo

Told NHS for years.

22. MUSCLE WEAKNESS- variable with no "objective" abnormality to formal testing.

23. SCIATICA- like pain

Told NHS for years.

24. PHOTOPHOBIA- Intolerance of bright lights.

Told NHS for years.

25. ALTERATION OF TASTE, SMELL and HEARING.

Told NHS for years.

26. LOW FREQUENCY, SENSORINEURAL HEARING LOSS.

27. DECRESED PAINFUL SOUND THRESHOLD.

Do not like noise.

28. TINNITUS- ringing in the ears.

29. OCCASIONAL EXAGGERATED NYSTAGMUS- involuntary rapid movement of the eye ball.

30. CHANGES IN VISUAL ACUITY- impaired function of the smooth muscle used for focus as well as skeletal muscles for tracking.

Started happening three years ago.

31. INTOLERANCE OF ALCOHOL

Ah mentioned this too .. sometimes I get drunk way too quickly!!

32. ENHANCEMENT OF MEDICATION SIDE EFFECTS

33. INTOLERANCE OF PREVIOUSLY TOLERATED MEDICATIONS

Yes, Tramadol had this effect.

34. WEIGHT CHANGES- usually gained due to the lack of exercise through pain and or tricyclic antidepressants

35. RESTLESS LEGS

Yes and I wonder if Fibromyalgia Rubber Legs is on the list? Given Mirapexin for this many years ago after two years of mentioning it.

36. HEIGHTENED AWARENESS- of symptoms of HYPOGLYCEMIA 9 when blood sugar falls)

37. POSSIBLE CARBOHYDRATE INTOLERANCE

Oh fuck .. been telling people I cannot eat potatoes and someone keeps giving them to me like they are trying to kill me. Oddly its a narcissistic leftist that thinks everything it about them.

38. SYMPTOMS OF IRRITABLE BOWEL SYNDROME (I.B.S.)

Been telling the NHS about this for years.

39. HEARTBURN- secondary to I.B.S.

Not only have they treated this and said it was a Hiatus Hernia for 4 years I have suspected they got this wrong and LIED. Because they spent 10 years refusing the operation.

40. SUB-NORMAL TEMPERATURE

41. NIGHT SWEATS.

Told them about this for years. Have issues with heat though other sufferers mostly cold. Have to wear shorts and vest in summer.

42. SENSITIVE TO TEMPERATURE EXTREMES

God, yes! Told them this for years.

43. HEART PALPITATIONS

Told them this for years.

44. BREATHING DIFFICULTIES

45. HEART MURMUR-Mitral Valve Prolapse appears to be more symptomatic in FM than normal.

Now find out my granddaughter has this. My father and grandmother died or heart issues and I have heart issues NOT looked at properly like everything else.

46. IMPOTENCE- reactive and occasionally.

47. SEVERE PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME

48. FREQUENT VAGINAL YEAST INFECTIONS.

49. MUSCLE SPASM- twitching.

Told them this for years.

50. NON-CARDIAC CHEST PAIN- which may simulate cardiac disorder.

Told them this .. Chest Wall Pain. Affected me in 2003.

51. PELVIC PAIN.

52. ABDOMINAL WALL PAIN.

53. DRY EYES AND MOUTH.

54. TEMPOROMANDIBULAR JOINT DISORDER- usually due to abnormal muscle tone.

55. RAYNAUD'S- like symptoms.

56. CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME-possible related condition.

57. HAIR LOSS-secondary to psychological stress from FM.

58. VULVODYNIA- Vulvar discomfort or pain, burning, stinging and irritation.

59. PLANTAR ARCH-or heel pain. Exacerbated in FM.

Had already had other symptoms a very long time. Started to ask about this one due to pain walking and especially standing, from around 2001-3. Was fobbed off and lied to by the NHS and diagnosed myself around 2016.

So some symptoms go back over 20 years the NHS were aware of but the key one is this one.

I found this because I had a crying daughter on the phone, herself having cervical cancer missed and her own Fibromyalgia missed.

Had been meaning to look up for awhile anyone having issues with eating potatoes as this has been going on a number of years and, to me, is just weird.

Typical I find it here.

The NHS were told about this in 2016.

This list of symptoms has been correlated by the Arthritis Foundation S.A.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/fibro-colors-fibromyalgia-awareness/most-common-fibromyalgia-symptoms/517191304992356/

Now lets get this straight.

I have battled all my life, been screwed over by my university, screwed over by the DWP, screwed over by local councils. I have been suicidal at times and they call this the suicide disease because it is just too much.

I have been ignored by authorities, treated like a criminal, had friends and family assume I was lying about this for years.

I have worked, I have asked for help to set up my own business twice, refused the first time, accepted the second time then they pulled the rug from under me and I lost my home, car .. very almost everything.

My daughter was taken away and not given any rights to see me as she grew up. She has a life worse than I told the courts who did not investigate.

She has been the victim of rape gangs, kept prisoner and had her own cervical cancer missed. The Police and Social Workers persecuted her for years on end. She has had two cars taken away from her. She had a child taken away from her and given to his paedophile father. We found out years later he had been beaten and we can only assume it was the father. No I am not kidding.

They deliberately went out of their way NOT to diagnose my special needs granddaughter and then a paediatrician LIED in the diagnosis contradicting all previous claims by professionals, schools, social workers. Two years on they have now reverse their original diagnosis.

Another granddaughter has fluid oozing from her ear. They have point blank refused to see her for months and in that time asked my daughter to take a swab. No less then four times because they kept losing them.

While IDIOT leftist reception staff sit around in the clinics talking utter bollox to one another when they are not doing their virtue signalling to appear human.

A Member of Parliament found out and started swearing over it and become involved.

In 2017 I diagnosed myself and then had a Doctor lie to my face that there is nothing in the NHS to cater for Fibromyalgia. The Fibromyalgia Association UK were shocked that they told me this and gave me a list. After diagnosing myself, do not forget. They then lied and said I threatened them and they did this twice so as not to have to deal with me.

Apparently in modern day fascism you are not supposed to get angry with those that lie to you, treat you like shit and leave you with one of the worst conditions on Earth.

Often think I wish I had cancer as at least I would be given ACTUAL DRUGS to deal with the pain and it wont be long before it is over.

This just goes on and on and on and with every fucking public authority and evil, lying, fascist wanker working for them stabbing you with knives while you try to survive while surround by people that have their heads up their own arses.

While social media giants are all over your ass, using you as a slave to make billions after luring you to work for them before they then start censoring you because you might hurt someone's feelings somewhere or vote for someone they do not approve of.

While I had to listen to the brain-dead seals standing outside clapping or banging pots and pans to thank the NHS which I do not know is just total and utter fucking blindness of they have heard stories and thought if they went outside and worshipped the New Gods that this wont happen to them if their health fails?

The absolute best one?

Everyone else forgets that I have a fucking memory problem.

All I have ever done is be as honest, genuine and factual as I can but it seems I .. WE .. have been screwed by bother sides. One for politics because they are hateful bigots and hate us but prefer animals over us, the other for money.

No way out and have learned that you just have no one you can turn to and these charities and help agencies are just a cesspool of fascists that fool the public into thinking they do things so they will have over their money.

But shit scared the wider public will discover they too are full or bigoted fascists pushing for power for their own evil desires.

THE MAG EFFECT

Once you eliminate the impossible whatever remains, no matter how improbable, has to be the truth – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I have been screwed over by the public services in the UK by so very many and for so very long that for a number of years now I have thought it easier and way, way .. WAY more humane to make voluntary euthanasia much more appealing that continuing another day.

I was diagnosed 4 years ago with having low magnesium .. well it was more an educated guess on my GP's part at the time. No pills .. just told to go buy them, which they have since also done with my daughter.

Your body regulates magnesium and needs it and it it is in too short a supply ..

When low body pulls it out of your cells, like bones or organs.

POST-DIAGNOSIS

Note: Not a single one of these, post Hypomagnesemia diagnosis, was linked to low magnesium in any way .. despite a dozen GP visits and several hospital visits that included Ambulances.

Cardiac or other problems, which I have. There is not a good way to check this .. I was told about a device but was electronic, sounded expensive and had to basically be assembled yourself.

Arrhythmia is caused by low magnesium and hospitalised two or three times and been in to two tests for what the problem might be. Except they already knew for four years and failed to mention it at any point.

Tachycardia is an issue and magnesium makes it relax so you can end up with a high heart rate much higher then normal.

Low Energy which was down to lack of ATP which is the energy molecule in your body. With low levels of magnesium you can eventually lack the ATP and feel very tired. Which I have so many times I have lost count. It has been .. a trip to hell and back more times than I care to remember.

Nerves are affected in extremities like fingers and toes.

Osteoporosis or Osteopenia is another issues that ca arise from low magnesium.

High Blood Pressure.

PRE-DIAGNOSIS

Note: When it was diagnosed it was NEVER mentioned to me in four years that that these were linked to the Hypomagnesemia.

Bad enough on its own but add in that everything that ocurred later was ALSO not linked to Magnesium either and when I stumbled across it around 6 months ago, after having these things going back 15 years plus, I was simply astounded, felt betrayed, liked to and let down. My life has been destroyed and this has cost me EVEYRTHING from £150,000 included my inheritance, home, car and business. Worse still is they have done similar to my daughter and worse, see post 'Country Of The Damned'.

Insomnia. This has gone on for around 13 years plus.

Also causes constipation while at the same time too much can cause diarrhoea.

Muscular pain and cramp in calf muscles as well as my thighs .. which had mentioned to a GP for several years, several different GP's across several surgeries.

Others

I have also read that it could be down to the extreme anxiety too which may or may not be linked to the rapid Tachycardia and Arrhythmia?

Sudden Death Syndrome is yet another thing that low levels of magnesium can bring on which just occurs without warning signs.

So .. reasonable then to assume that if you are experiencing all of the others here, which I do, that this can be taken as a long list of warning signs, no?

So with all that being said .. what was it for 15 years and with all those misses?

Incompetence?

Intentionally lied to and fobbed off?

It can only be one .. or the other.

Food for thought.

EDIT: CRAP!! Forgot the video! Short-Term Memory Loss yet another damn issue!

THE ROCKS & THE HARD PLACES

Sometimes I honestly cannot believe how life has turned out.

There is not a single day where I do not wonder what in the fuck happened and what in the actual fuck is going on.

Let me give you a run down of last night ..

Spending another day stuck in a real life living hell and wondering yet again how I got here and quite how I am going to get out after spending four days taking down seven really nasty, evil, selfish bad guy bullies which including professionals on Twitter I get called out of my room.

So mid doing .. something on Twitter while trying to watch a film about a little girl in World War 2 I get a knock on my door and told someone wants me.

Now let me tell you this .. two of us were demanded to go to another room about a technical problem .. same problem with a phone and a tablet. Already explained.

• Rant starts while I have to stand and listen
• Goes on for 20 minutes .. one of us gets annoyed at the woe is me rant about how terrible their life is, yup worst narcissistic leftist you could ever meet .. EVER
• She then rants that one is refusing to listen
• Another 10 minutes ranting that the other one does not want to listen to the rant
• I ask her to continue several times
• She rants that I am not letting her rant
• I tell her it has nothing to do with her problem
• She rants that she is not allowed to rant .. again
• I tell her that if she was in a store doing this they would have charged her £40 to rant and probably told her to fuck off by now
• She rants about that
• She rants about side effects to pills for mild epilepsy that has never been confirmed and none of us have witnessed .. like it is the worst thing in the world ..
• One side effect she rants about she CLAIMS causes memory loss .. a side effect
• No other nor serious health issues
• Forgets that I have a confirmed issue with memory loss that is on my medical records sitting 10 feet away
• Forgets that when forced to stand my feet hurt
• Forgets that I have a serious heart issue and the fact that I am clasping my chest she also shows no fucking sign of that either
• I tell her that she has pulled me away from defending someone from a nasty evil bully on the Internet and she says the following .. because shes a total fucking nit and the worst kind of narcissistic leftist bitching ranter you could ever wish to meet ..
• “Oh marvellous! Well I WISH someone would defend ME for a change!”
• I lose it ..
• “Defend you from what?! Go on defend you from FUCKING WHAT?!”
• Bitching and moaning about how terrible he life and her health is despite the fact she has had this mild epilepsy no ones ever seen for several years she claims is worse than terminal cancer .. and side effects from a pill is sooo terrible
• Might I add that several relatives refuse to have anything to do with her
• As she tries to rant about her side effects and mild epilepsy because she has come out with bullshit because like all leftist socialists that are fucking amoral .. she cannot answer the question about what it is she needs defending from I say this ..
• “Yes and more DAUGHTER .. has an operation for cervical cancer in five fucking days time!”
• A little fact she is unaware of despite the fact that she tells everyone on the phone that I keep on at her all the time telling her everything that is going on .. and I keep telling everyone that I do not ..
• She did not know that little detail

To cap it off I had an intense toothache that throbbed like there was no tomorrow and ended up having a pretty shit night.

All my days and nights are shit .. it is merely a matter of how shit that they turn out to be and last night was a particularly shit one.

The leftists closest thing to a sibling .. a cousin called Anne has refused to speak to her for five years. One son refuses to speak to her at all. One daughter she bitches about is on and off talking to her and has a go at me if she gets it in the ear about me.

No one has learnt not to moan about the person she is going on about at the time because if it is not that thing or that person it will be something or someone else. But she has spent years turning everyone else against each other.

I have told people .. she does it deliberately .. she is the worst kind of SJW or NPC and she will literally cause trouble intentionally … basically goad you into having a go at her so that she can then go off and create her victim card.

Now here is the thing ..

There is no one to take any notice of her victim cards?!

She has three people .. her daughter who she moans does not listen or give her enough attention, yeah really. He partner whose an amoral twat whose three kids have not spoken to him in 20 years and her own other. Her own mother who tells us on the sly that her daughter is often too much.

Now here is the mentality of a leftist .. when she is not getting attention she then tries to put the fault and blame with her four kids because ..

• We are not like her
• We are all right-wing like out father, one BBC killed
• We ever listen to her
• We have never agreed with her extreme left-wing politics
• We never fail to realise that she is lying through her teeth because what she accuses us of and tries to blame our dead father for .. actually applies to everyone she has ever met in 50 years
• But in her fucked up twisted leftist mind she thinks that if she can keep repeating the same fucking tripe .. she will eventually be right and we will eventually giver her attention
• That is why I am so good at arguing with LEFTISTS!

Now are you surprised by all that? Are you actually sitting there and thinking that there is no way that this could be as bad ans this guy is describing?

Yeah I have a friend called Mario who was a social worker for Camden Council for over 20 years and he thought we were unkind. He thought I was being over the top. He thought there was no way that anyone, even a hard-left person could be that bad.

This is what he does today ..

At a large boot sale where they both go .. both Mario and his partner Nancy .. keep an eye out because this woman frequents the same Boot Sale .. if they see her they ..

• DUCK AND RUN!!
• Told two of us once he was sorry
• That after meeting her a couple of times that realised not only were we not exaggerating or being extremely unfair ..
• That she is actually far worse then we described

At this point have you got your hand over your mouth in disbelief?

Are you wondering how someone, a leftist, can be that selfish and knowingly aggravate someones serious and painful health conditions for nothing more than they want to rant and have some attention?

That this person seriously needs to speak to a professional psychiatrist?

Are you wondering how anyone survives this?

I am afraid it gets better ..

Want to know why I was ordered out of my 8ft by 5ft 10 prison cell?

Because she expected two people to help her remember the password to an iPad she had entered wrong several times and was now locked out for an hour and therefore could not be entered anyway.

Told her a hundred times over 6 years to buy a fucking book and a fucking pen and write them down .. and the absolute shit she comes out with .. pure lies like all leftists because they have to appear to be right.

“Oh you don't know what its like?! There are too many passwords to remember! I am not the only one (LEFTIST CRAP THIS ONE) as EVERYONE is moaning about it on the Internet!”

Her passwords?

• Google phone
• Apple
• Facebook she never uses
• Wifi

No Twitter, no news subscriptions, no cloud storage, no photo sharing sites, no GAB, no blogging, not even aware of Bitchute, Vidme or any of the others lesser known things. No music apps or subscription services. Just those four!

So when I point out that I manage and with a memory issues and with three dozen passwords her get out of being caught is this “Oh I am old!” to which last night I answered ..

“Oh fuck off, I was just chatting to a guy on Twitter in his 70's!”

Bearing in mind her mother is still alive!

If her life so so fucking bad why is it that I very literally hate waking up the next morning after she pulls her leftist self centred crap and I very literally want to leave the house and walk into the path of the first oncoming lorry to end the pain?

Social Worker Party ex-member! Fucking thirty years arguing with her socialism does not nor will ever work and you cant destroy a country on a gamble and totally ignores facts, history, mathematics like all fucking mad loony leftists.

Lives in centre of London .. and for five years has been constantly bringing up something she told us she got wrong that she want accept. Another fruit loop leftist thing .. cannot leave things alone, cannot accept facts or science or history for that matter. The leftist repeat-repeat-repeat until it becomes truth ..

.. are you ready?

In her 8ft by 8ft concrete garden in the centre of London she saw ..

• Large Copper Butterfly -Lycaena dispar
• Extinct in Britain since 1851
• Family of animal experts .. not her
• We are all wrong .. she knows what she saw

Or how about ..

• Pie & Mash?
• Only Londoners will get this ..
• Her Pie & Mash is better than the Pie Mash shops
• Pie from packet out of Asda, Parsley Sauce and Mashed Potatoes
• Shops are famous for their Pies you cannot get anywhere else
• But as she cooks it it has to be the best in the world ..
• Despite the pie being a cheap Asda frozen pie

Life has the most cruel sense of humour when it comes to my life .. it was bearable and I could get by but .. yeah .. lately .. it seems to have one hell of a sick and cruel hand of fate vibe about it.

She complains no one is like her and has no idea that I am God damn thankful that I am not because I would not be able to stand myself and certainly would take my own life being like that!

Abandoned by all public services .. no GP, no Dentist, no income, Google screwed me because of the politics on my blog I am proving with each passing day on Twitter. Daughter repeatedly raped as a child and had two children as a child. She now with cervical cancer. If being abandoned by our own government, the DWP, Local Councils, NHS and Police among all the help and advice agencies .. we got no help, compensation of any kind and are even being persecuted and had our lives destroyed.

All the details alluded to in that last paragraph and others I have not mentioned, like ombudsman and bailiffs, can be found on the various posts on my blog.

Going after bad guys bullying others and making threats to people on Twitter is currently all I have to stop me going insane.

Related to the worst leftist of all time short of Stalin himself and hence why I am so good at dealing with leftists on Twitter as I know what they are going to do and say before there NPC algorithms even .. EXECUTE! Which is what most of the would like to do to me.

THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING

Hmm?

Someone seems to be admitting, or even just realising, that people are not to walk or like walking too much?

Though this is not true of all people it certainly is true of most .. and everywhere. Seen it here in London for years and see this on The Wirral.

So much so that the Evening Standard seems to be suggesting that walk signs, green man symbol, on traffic lights in key locations be left on for longer.

Two things from this ..

One .. I fecking told you so and ..

Two .. that's going to cause mayhem no doubt?

Now considering this plus the fact you can't get a seat on a bloody bus for love nor money, plus they are pricey these days and hot as hell in the summer ..

What do you think it's like busing around and walking around for people with disabilities?

What do you think it's like for someone that had more than one disability?!

How about those that have several disabilities?!?!

I fall into the letter category, strangely enough and not a day goes by when I can't believe how bad I am or the situation I'm currently in.

Hell .. not a day goes by when I think I'm going to survive it!

Feet, ankles, legs, back, shoulders, pores, head, chest, heart and entire body when it comes down to sudden loss of energy. Though to be fair this lady one is just legs .. again. Adding to the Fibromyalgia Rubber Legs this makes two things for the legs.

Well .. not considering the thigh pain I get off I forget to take magnesium pills.

That's also just legs .. not including the two things with both my feet. Bilateral things.

It's frustrating and worryingly unbearable and no, before anyone thinks it, it's not a case of getting used to it. There is no getting used to it.

Some things are constant and variable while other things occur out of the blue at different frequencies.

But the fact remains that even the things that are seldom .. there are just sooo many that they are frequent .. collectively.

Like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates you just never know what your going to get!

However .. when it comes to the public services and these so-called advice agencies and charities in my experience no one gives a crap.

I've been trying to continue to do that which I not only love doing but in time can bring me an income.

Acquire photographs of very high resolution and, to my mind, quality.

However despite not doing hardly any of that last year and a lot more this year .. I'm still cancelling days doing this shit.

Because of my health.

I'm also now experiencing stupid and unfair treatment from sites selling photographs from unreasonable demands. Go figure.

But what I find repugnant is this attitude that disabled people are fully fit, according to the government.

Even more annoying is the fact that I've maintained for years that is the public transport infrastructure was better a lot more people, like myself, works work. Even if it was just on a part time basis.

I myself constantly wonder if there was something I could do locally .. except I'm not registered here, can't do full time as much as I would like and it's far too built up here.

I know the area as I spent the early part of my childhood here. But when your forced to have to stop and there's nowhere to rest for large sections your .. fecked!

Green man to be left on at pedestrian crossings in radical bid to get Londoners walking http://flip.it/visPpU

POINTS OF BREAKAGES

I do not know how to start.

Despite the fact that it's not going to be very long .. for once.

I have these .. all too fleeting periods. Periods where I'm not in several difficulties in one period or not a series of other difficulties in another.

One is where I'm very low and feel like my head and my heart are pulling apart at the seams. It's something very difficult to describe in all levels.

The other is where I'm .. angry .. at everything .. inside. Because I've been to those dark places during several separate periods for varying lengths of time. Angry with all those responsible for my predicament as well as those that make my predicament even harder. When they should know to be more supportive and not selfish, egotistical, jobs-worthy, blind and all manner of other things.

It's been the former for the majority of the last twenty four hours plus and I kind of thought it would have dissipated this morning. Not so far.

Then there are those fleeting .. periods. Periods that I want to remain in. But I struggle to and I'm not anywhere near close to right now. I normally try to do the things I think will get me outta my current situation. My current .. pressures. That's because this is the only way that I can see of achieving this.

But then there's the tiredness .. which makes it harder or impossible.

So it's body, head, heart and as well as all that they're is this good forsaken tiredness.

The body is several in just pain alone.

Head is .. several.

Heart is a couple.

I imagine seeing two pieces of leather strips together being pulled apart and the stitching unraveling because the pressure is too great.

I often think that if there was a God it would be far, far more humane if I was just struck by lightning. Put out of my never ending misery, so to speak.

Each time some organisation comes along and screws things up either directly or by not doing anything at all. It's weird, laughable and wildly annoying all at the same time. Then after awhile you manage to scrape or fight your way out of it with very little, can't think of any .. ever, or no help. But after varying amounts of time and often when you least expect it you end up back in that place again.

In the end you just start thinking, what's the point?

My own sister said something odd and .. kind of eye opening yesterday while talking on the phone. She was asking me what the current situation was with my daughter's cervical cancer when she said the following ..

"If I was to tell people everything that has happened to you and your daughter .. they simply wouldn't believe me"

That statement tells you more than you probably realise. Yes .. it states she thinks it's utterly incredible and unthinkable but ..

She refuses to tell anyone about us? Because she would be embarrassed? Because they would think that she was lying?!

She wants to try writing a blog about it all!

Then what you have left is people in possession of boxing gloves, spades, binoculars and over inflated egos.

Then chuck in loneliness along with memory problems and you can find yourself cowering in your room in the corner of your current bed. Hoping that your heart stops playing games with you and just .. stops.

Kind of what I'm doing right now and have been for twenty four hours.

Oh how I pray for an end to the endless torment.

HOUSE OF PAIN

Oh .. you know not of how many levels of which I speak about pain.

But last night took an awhile turn .. to the point my normally narcissistic .. ahem, member of my family tried to talk to me twice about what was happening. They also knew it had been all night too?! Not sure how.

In what was a very .. very rare occasion they looked concerned. I still doubt they will do what needs to be done if it ever gets to that. Like call an emergency number. Well .. yes it is true I never do that myself .. but not for myself. If it was someone I deeply cared about then yes. I just never call anything other than '111' for myself and never ever do that in these instances.

There are those times when your suffering and even badly so and you just want to suffer alone. It is as if anyone being around makes things worse? Not sure anyone can relate?

I am in pain as of right now .. just less so than I was. I did get to sleep around 10am .. ish. It is 11.43am now and I've been awake about 40 minutes and this was down to pain. Quite unfortunately.

I've .. something else going on to that's .. well it's just so peculiar .. no .. 'peculiar' is the wrong word and does not do it justice. Despite the illness that afflicts my daughter currently after another .. 

exploratory and biopsy .. she was blown away at these recent .. developments.

Trust me when I say it very much goes against all odds. And then some.

My daughter thought up the exact same to theories that I did.

One theory went out the window. There are .. three theories but .. one? Just too darn crazy to consider. The odds? Astronomical and that's not even considering any outcome, which I'd also say right now was equally unlikely.

I mean me being ..

I mean .. she being .. all that ..

Lol.

Maybe at a later date I'll talk more about that. I really don't even know where to start with it all and where I would go with it all?!

I mean .. after recent events didn't seem to pan out could I even use words like 'kindred'.

'Kindred' is a word that my late friend Old Ken never thought would EVER be used to describe anyone associated with me. Ever. I do believe I've stated as much within this blog going back to the beginning.

Yeah .. I can't really ever be accused of ever hiding anything and I can't be accused of claiming things I didn't say .. that's the good thing about blogging. Everything is dated with even a time provided for the posts.

No point in hiding anything.

Oh and .. yeah .. I still possess .. umm probably over 50GB data and yes .. I did think of get the rest up during 2017 but it kind of didn't work out. What with everything else that occurred.

Also .. though it would have certainly brought my blogs up to much higher numbers than I have now ..

Yeah that's the thing about maths .. it has a much greater effect the higher the number of monthly visitors when I do start to publish them.

I also have to go through them all because target foolishly I never renamed the files. As there are dozens and dozens of them and with my memory I can't remember half of them and the ones I do of never find.

Yes, yes there are certainly dozens were I am told more lies .. but which lies and where they are?

Maybe this year at some point I'll get around to sorting then into some sort of order? If I can get them sorted across half a dozen folders, maybe?

Ooh I was supposed to try and get my medication today?! Damn it! Just keeps being postponed.

Oh and I also wanted to try and get out with my damn camera equipment.

This is heading for a bad ending currently. .. I just know it.

Still in pain too.

Daughter still in pain and hearing now she has to return to hospital after they have given her a second lot of the exact same antibiotic they gave her in the beginning?! Well that is a full gone conclusion then and a pointless exercise?!

Heard from my solicitor over my court appearance that is getting ever closer .. yeeeahh not got my printer and would not have space for it if I were able to retrieve it anyway!

Good God, man. I hope that they do attend this hearing. If I fail to turn up because of my health I am worried that this would go against me, though rather incompetently so if it does. If it has looked for two years like I have had a representative that also does not turn up?!

Yeah like I said .. no printer, daughter's cancer worse than they thought, pain, anxiety and memory problems getting worse as is my sleeping, heading south for the winter like everything else. I am worried this will be used and twisted so that they can get what they want.

I am starting to wonder who you would complain to about the HMCTS before I have even had the court hearing?!