THE ROCKS & THE HARD PLACES

Sometimes I honestly cannot believe how life has turned out.

There is not a single day where I do not wonder what in the fuck happened and what in the actual fuck is going on.

Let me give you a run down of last night ..

Spending another day stuck in a real life living hell and wondering yet again how I got here and quite how I am going to get out after spending four days taking down seven really nasty, evil, selfish bad guy bullies which including professionals on Twitter I get called out of my room.

So mid doing .. something on Twitter while trying to watch a film about a little girl in World War 2 I get a knock on my door and told someone wants me.

Now let me tell you this .. two of us were demanded to go to another room about a technical problem .. same problem with a phone and a tablet. Already explained.

• Rant starts while I have to stand and listen
• Goes on for 20 minutes .. one of us gets annoyed at the woe is me rant about how terrible their life is, yup worst narcissistic leftist you could ever meet .. EVER
• She then rants that one is refusing to listen
• Another 10 minutes ranting that the other one does not want to listen to the rant
• I ask her to continue several times
• She rants that I am not letting her rant
• I tell her it has nothing to do with her problem
• She rants that she is not allowed to rant .. again
• I tell her that if she was in a store doing this they would have charged her £40 to rant and probably told her to fuck off by now
• She rants about that
• She rants about side effects to pills for mild epilepsy that has never been confirmed and none of us have witnessed .. like it is the worst thing in the world ..
• One side effect she rants about she CLAIMS causes memory loss .. a side effect
• No other nor serious health issues
• Forgets that I have a confirmed issue with memory loss that is on my medical records sitting 10 feet away
• Forgets that when forced to stand my feet hurt
• Forgets that I have a serious heart issue and the fact that I am clasping my chest she also shows no fucking sign of that either
• I tell her that she has pulled me away from defending someone from a nasty evil bully on the Internet and she says the following .. because shes a total fucking nit and the worst kind of narcissistic leftist bitching ranter you could ever wish to meet ..
• “Oh marvellous! Well I WISH someone would defend ME for a change!”
• I lose it ..
• “Defend you from what?! Go on defend you from FUCKING WHAT?!”
• Bitching and moaning about how terrible he life and her health is despite the fact she has had this mild epilepsy no ones ever seen for several years she claims is worse than terminal cancer .. and side effects from a pill is sooo terrible
• Might I add that several relatives refuse to have anything to do with her
• As she tries to rant about her side effects and mild epilepsy because she has come out with bullshit because like all leftist socialists that are fucking amoral .. she cannot answer the question about what it is she needs defending from I say this ..
• “Yes and more DAUGHTER .. has an operation for cervical cancer in five fucking days time!”
• A little fact she is unaware of despite the fact that she tells everyone on the phone that I keep on at her all the time telling her everything that is going on .. and I keep telling everyone that I do not ..
• She did not know that little detail

To cap it off I had an intense toothache that throbbed like there was no tomorrow and ended up having a pretty shit night.

All my days and nights are shit .. it is merely a matter of how shit that they turn out to be and last night was a particularly shit one.

The leftists closest thing to a sibling .. a cousin called Anne has refused to speak to her for five years. One son refuses to speak to her at all. One daughter she bitches about is on and off talking to her and has a go at me if she gets it in the ear about me.

No one has learnt not to moan about the person she is going on about at the time because if it is not that thing or that person it will be something or someone else. But she has spent years turning everyone else against each other.

I have told people .. she does it deliberately .. she is the worst kind of SJW or NPC and she will literally cause trouble intentionally … basically goad you into having a go at her so that she can then go off and create her victim card.

Now here is the thing ..

There is no one to take any notice of her victim cards?!

She has three people .. her daughter who she moans does not listen or give her enough attention, yeah really. He partner whose an amoral twat whose three kids have not spoken to him in 20 years and her own other. Her own mother who tells us on the sly that her daughter is often too much.

Now here is the mentality of a leftist .. when she is not getting attention she then tries to put the fault and blame with her four kids because ..

• We are not like her
• We are all right-wing like out father, one BBC killed
• We ever listen to her
• We have never agreed with her extreme left-wing politics
• We never fail to realise that she is lying through her teeth because what she accuses us of and tries to blame our dead father for .. actually applies to everyone she has ever met in 50 years
• But in her fucked up twisted leftist mind she thinks that if she can keep repeating the same fucking tripe .. she will eventually be right and we will eventually giver her attention
• That is why I am so good at arguing with LEFTISTS!

Now are you surprised by all that? Are you actually sitting there and thinking that there is no way that this could be as bad ans this guy is describing?

Yeah I have a friend called Mario who was a social worker for Camden Council for over 20 years and he thought we were unkind. He thought I was being over the top. He thought there was no way that anyone, even a hard-left person could be that bad.

This is what he does today ..

At a large boot sale where they both go .. both Mario and his partner Nancy .. keep an eye out because this woman frequents the same Boot Sale .. if they see her they ..

• DUCK AND RUN!!
• Told two of us once he was sorry
• That after meeting her a couple of times that realised not only were we not exaggerating or being extremely unfair ..
• That she is actually far worse then we described

At this point have you got your hand over your mouth in disbelief?

Are you wondering how someone, a leftist, can be that selfish and knowingly aggravate someones serious and painful health conditions for nothing more than they want to rant and have some attention?

That this person seriously needs to speak to a professional psychiatrist?

Are you wondering how anyone survives this?

I am afraid it gets better ..

Want to know why I was ordered out of my 8ft by 5ft 10 prison cell?

Because she expected two people to help her remember the password to an iPad she had entered wrong several times and was now locked out for an hour and therefore could not be entered anyway.

Told her a hundred times over 6 years to buy a fucking book and a fucking pen and write them down .. and the absolute shit she comes out with .. pure lies like all leftists because they have to appear to be right.

“Oh you don't know what its like?! There are too many passwords to remember! I am not the only one (LEFTIST CRAP THIS ONE) as EVERYONE is moaning about it on the Internet!”

Her passwords?

• Google phone
• Apple
• Facebook she never uses
• Wifi

No Twitter, no news subscriptions, no cloud storage, no photo sharing sites, no GAB, no blogging, not even aware of Bitchute, Vidme or any of the others lesser known things. No music apps or subscription services. Just those four!

So when I point out that I manage and with a memory issues and with three dozen passwords her get out of being caught is this “Oh I am old!” to which last night I answered ..

“Oh fuck off, I was just chatting to a guy on Twitter in his 70's!”

Bearing in mind her mother is still alive!

If her life so so fucking bad why is it that I very literally hate waking up the next morning after she pulls her leftist self centred crap and I very literally want to leave the house and walk into the path of the first oncoming lorry to end the pain?

Social Worker Party ex-member! Fucking thirty years arguing with her socialism does not nor will ever work and you cant destroy a country on a gamble and totally ignores facts, history, mathematics like all fucking mad loony leftists.

Lives in centre of London .. and for five years has been constantly bringing up something she told us she got wrong that she want accept. Another fruit loop leftist thing .. cannot leave things alone, cannot accept facts or science or history for that matter. The leftist repeat-repeat-repeat until it becomes truth ..

.. are you ready?

In her 8ft by 8ft concrete garden in the centre of London she saw ..

• Large Copper Butterfly -Lycaena dispar
• Extinct in Britain since 1851
• Family of animal experts .. not her
• We are all wrong .. she knows what she saw

Or how about ..

• Pie & Mash?
• Only Londoners will get this ..
• Her Pie & Mash is better than the Pie Mash shops
• Pie from packet out of Asda, Parsley Sauce and Mashed Potatoes
• Shops are famous for their Pies you cannot get anywhere else
• But as she cooks it it has to be the best in the world ..
• Despite the pie being a cheap Asda frozen pie

Life has the most cruel sense of humour when it comes to my life .. it was bearable and I could get by but .. yeah .. lately .. it seems to have one hell of a sick and cruel hand of fate vibe about it.

She complains no one is like her and has no idea that I am God damn thankful that I am not because I would not be able to stand myself and certainly would take my own life being like that!

Abandoned by all public services .. no GP, no Dentist, no income, Google screwed me because of the politics on my blog I am proving with each passing day on Twitter. Daughter repeatedly raped as a child and had two children as a child. She now with cervical cancer. If being abandoned by our own government, the DWP, Local Councils, NHS and Police among all the help and advice agencies .. we got no help, compensation of any kind and are even being persecuted and had our lives destroyed.

All the details alluded to in that last paragraph and others I have not mentioned, like ombudsman and bailiffs, can be found on the various posts on my blog.

Going after bad guys bullying others and making threats to people on Twitter is currently all I have to stop me going insane.

Related to the worst leftist of all time short of Stalin himself and hence why I am so good at dealing with leftists on Twitter as I know what they are going to do and say before there NPC algorithms even .. EXECUTE! Which is what most of the would like to do to me.

ONE HELL FOR ANOTHER

Well it has not even been a week yet and it has happened.

I have had my anxiety raised by someone that is supposed to help. Oddly they have complained that they are the only one that have helped .. despite the fact that this help is a fucking tiny room they do not need. They do not own the house either but you would think they were giving a pint of blood the way that they go on.

What is the issue?

That four of us did not give up thousands of pounds to another member of the family because they deserved money.

I have told them that by law they are not and that this person is not bothered by it and that in fact they are the only one bothered by it but .. it makes no difference.

Bearing in mind what I have just been through .. what I have got to do now that I am back and that much of my money went towards helping others .. the rest tied up in things I should not have bought and one I am selling. So they cannot claim that I am selfish .. but it is being hinted at and they would dearly like to say this .. but they cannot.

Most of the ire is about others ..

Except as I said the recipient they are on about does not care about it and has said to others that it was not his money and not his grandfather.

Nope .. that does not matter.

Nope .. nor does it matter that I went through hell and cut my wrists I was in that much agony .. not not a mention about that. Just that things did not go how they wanted them too and we re all bastards.

I have already had a reply to a text I sent explaining what was just said and the reply simply stated “You got to get out of there as fast as you can!”

Yeah .. I cannot. I have somewhere I can go if things get bad but that will only be for three or four days at most. As I told my brother .. it is called the Maytree Centre and I nearly ended up there a couple years back.

This person simply fails to see that the only feelings that are harping on about is their own. And that this is all about others doing what they expect them to.

I also guarantee that they are annoyed that I have gone off into a room to stop hearing it and I would not be surprised if I was told I had to leave purely because I wont sit there and listen to their complaining about things that is bothering no one else.

They have been told for years and fucking years that it is extremely stressful and that no one else falls out and has issues except them. Every single member of their family they have fallen out with but it is everyone else that is wrong.

I find it hilarious that there argument is that no one 'gives a shit' and yet that is exactly whow they come across .. unless it is there feelings, they have never self harmed by the way but their suffereing is worse than everyone else's, then they do not ask, they do not console, they do not say they are sorry for what you have been through. Best of all they do not ask when they are on the phone how the children are, by some accounts. They are so busy and so focused upon their own feelings and you get statements like they want to die.

Oddly they blame another relative of being melodramatic when it comes to these things .. deliberately leaving pills all over the floor for sympathy.

No self harming as far as I know and they certainly was not alone when they did it .. so yeah .. ou could say that it was for sympathy. Could.

I was trapped in a flat that felt like a prison for four days and there was no one else there but me .. alone .. hoping that this damned Aussie flu would kill me in the night, often felt like it was. Then having anxiety in the mornings sometimes so bad that harming was the only thing that would release the extreme feelings of anxiety.

I cannot stress how bad this can be even at the best of times but stuck somewhere you do not know with short term memory problems after being called names, then threatened and then warned .. yeah .. you cannot really describe that.

I want to die because no one gives a shit and because currently I have nowhere to live .. not whinge and whine that no one gives a shit and that no one listens.

Yeah they do not have the greatest advice and yet they go fucking mental because no one takes their advice but .. no one ever takes advice.

But no .. this is specific traits of my family and makes her life a misery.

No drug dealers. No bank robbers. No domestic abusers and all this has been pointed out to her by her own cousin and .. nope .. does not want to listen. Because they want to complain except ..

There is no end goal to complaining .. there is absolutely no benefit to complaining .. she gets nothing out of it .. no one she complains about is ever going to change .. all she does is hurt people, stress them out and make them not want to come here.

I was on the phone to them two days before I came down and she scared the living shit out of me .. cranky and angry and of course it was about giving this money over to someone that not only does not care about it themselves but will end up in the pockets of his greedy and manipulative African girlfriend and her family as they have already had thousands anyway.

These people were here illegally anyway, despite both being handed houses then it is strictly illegal to do so .. unless your a public service then you can make the rules up as you go along while private landlords get fined for doing the exact same thing.

Now I am scared of them going past the door .. and scared of going downstairs in the morning!

Luckily I have tried to prepare as I have not only contacted my solicitor but also an organisation that may be able to help in my current situation. They didn't years ago when I went to them for help but today it is different .. I now only know what is wrong with me today, thanks for nothing NHS, but a lot more is wrong with me today.

I, or we, really ended up with the rough end of the stick when it comes to life and to think I may have been subjected to some kid of payback for someone else's tempestuous life? I am now being punished for two other people's lives that are and were not my responsibility.

It would seem everyone wants me to either suffer or perform magic tricks.

THE NEVER ENDING NARCISSISM

As always I am having some difficulties with the run up to Christmas.

As per usual people want me to perform tasks that I either cannot do or cannot do and will make me groggy, dizzy and sick feeling for most of Christmas Day.

This means that as well as not listening certain people have been incapable of not reading either and I do not mean this blog either.

The problem that people face today is that everyone, or almost everyone, carries something with then that is not used anywhere near half its potential, the smartphone. As those who have followed and paid attention they have already refused that I have done things with phones, one and sometimes more, with phones most people, outside of computer geeks, could not dream up. To great effect to at times even if no one in authority wants to admit to their existence and source for whatever reason. Yet among my friends and family I was unusually very late to the smartphone party. Very late. Yet despite this most use their phone for the obvious things and so obviously only appear nothing more than a fashion accessory. Some are not even familiar with the choices within settings despite being on the fourth smartphone. But none of this matters. What does, however, is the fact that in the last few weeks it is that very app used mitre than anything else that they have failed to use. Indeed every smartphone is built around one single solitary thing in ever smarter ways. SEARCHING.

These days many of the latest phones can search using voice alone and even touching the screen is slowly going being edged out in favour of gesturing, which I think is much better provided it is implemented skilfully. Unfortunately their are too many cooks about and the food is often rancid to begin with.

What I am ever so slowly getting at is that everyone loves to search, of Google as some still call it. It is right there in their pocket and within arms reach 95% of the time but the only thing I glean from things that people say our do is that they have failed to do this. In my regards at any rate.

This would not otherwise bother me but when suddenly things are expected of me that are clearly either impossible or detrimental then I will get annoyed. That is with anyone related to me.

Then consider a bunch of people who are not only not related to me but their sole purpose and reason for their salaries is to help and support people like me? My next post will explain that at the very beginning of the year I am going to set a number of things in motion. These will be with organisations I have dealt with before and there to help people like me as I already said. In so doing I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that all previous correspondence I was being honest and that I am weeks away from rubber stamping this with an official stamp. Though I do not need to, now. I have the condition and the years of letters regarding the symptoms. Disregarding this now they will no doubt realise make then look utterly guilty of their lies, trucks and acts of inhumanity against the British public. What they do not know is that I have already done exactly that, but rest assured I will declare this blog to them in mid battle because this can sometimes force the most hilarious actions and statements. Even if it is at the expense of dumb front line staff or on occasion my own.

In fact while I was typing this out I ended up being asked by three people. Now what is expected of me is a short list of things. But first of I should state that my recent prescription of Amitriptyline has list it's effect as i stated recently and that the returning pain had been quite bad and wise than it was previously. I think I now why because while the pain had receded I was capitalising on this.

I should have foreseen that as nothing lasts forever and I am used to just not being that lucky.

Now another problem I have is the sleeping thing which is in itself complicated...

I have trouble sleeping, both getting to sleep and at times starting asleep. I also trend to wait up with a full and painful bladder which now send to have garnered the attention of my newest GP. If not treated carefully I can go without much sleep which will then make many of my symptoms worse.

Now as they are currently worse than they have even been I am a little more wary about my condition than I normally am.

But I am expected to go off and just spend my Christmas period sleeping in places that do not have enough beds with the living room sofa permanently occupied?!

Now made the above points very clear. I have also made it very clear that I have now pinpointed and certain of what I am afflicted with. I also prove it on this blog.

Now bearing in mind that today is Christmas Eve (2013 in case this is read years later by fellow Fibromyalgia sufferers) and we have the worst weather in many years leading at my house. It had been torrential rain since I woke up, annoyingly late I might add. There had also been a very strong wind whipping around all day making the rain sound like gravel against my house.

So imagine how annoying it is when I just notice a text message starting can I travel to someones house, two buses, as picking me up tomorrow would be too much?!

I wonder if a Fibromyalgia Society might contact me with the offer of emailing my family and knocking them on the head with the proverbial brick to try and get the message home to them?

I have to admit that the lines coming from that one get more and more bizarre with each year that passes and only their own realities seen to matter at all.

Had any one of them taken the time to actually read my last few posts or anything on Fibromyalgia, you can download books from Amazon, Kobo or iTunes for like £1.50 odd, they would realise not only everything I have ever did was true and that I cannot do these things they expect if me midst of the time. When I say I can't it means I can't, it does not mean I can really do cartwheels, it means I BLOODY WELL CAN'T.

Jesus Christ I would NEVER rely on them as witnesses I can tell you, three are so bloody astringent, annoying and self obsessed that I tell you I will get through the whole of 2014 without a single word or text about what I have just posted here?!

Bearing in mind that the one complaining they cannot pick Mr up dies not drive, Lol. One lives 5 minutes away and does drive. One lives half way between me and my destination tomorrow and also drives. My destination is a twenty minute drive.

Well I say my destination... but I am quite happy to stay hear but this is because sometimes Luke's to be centre of attention and all their health problems are far greater than anyone else's.

I would never say that but when I am nagged to do things that are being my capability, or will cause me a lot of pain or make me feel like shot for 24 to 48 hours I end up writing chapter and verse. If someone insinuates there's is just as bad or worse I will repeat the chatters and verses.

Indeed just a few nights ago I was reading out lines from a book after hearing about their condition for the umpteenth time.

Now remember I am reading from a book! A book I have on my tablet and had been there several days. I am reading it because I have just had things stated to me about me doing this I should when I have spent YEARS telling them I simply cannot. Now I can actually read from a series of books and weird for weird exactly how I described things for many a year. I read how I need more money than the average person and need help just to get through the day. I then said about how you cannot tell when your over doing it and should not do to much. I also said that you should not do to little either and even explained why I used to exercise as I felt better. Now I am reading this out from a book and could read it out from several. So try to work out the reaction I got from reading this when they said...

"Well I am not supposed to do anything with my epilepsy but I do!"

Which basically means i should completely ignore signals from my body for thirteen years as well as that of the top experts who have written down the facts in books. No you should just do what is expected of you, from someone who used to call the government fascist slave drivers?! Lol!

For some bloody reason the others will bow to this person and I will get messages asking to to perform somersaults?!

I would dearly love to get into a group of people who have had similar things but I have to admit they would need to be related to someone equally as narcissistic as my particular family member and that would be hard to find and if I did.., oooh I would feel so sorry for you, I really would. LOL.

Anyway to the question of doing somersaults I simply answered with one word with one upper case letter and one lower case letter. No exclamation marks, no sarcastic comments or anything else just that one word. They shed a question and the true and simple answer is, No.

But it will likely turn into something now and there will be some things said because I cannot do these somersaults? Guarantee it and this has been happening for years and will do for the next year too. It will cause conversations a plenty that will go on for his and trustfully over many months. There will be text messages about it all and some bad words said to and maybe even arguments.

Minutes, hours, weeks, months and years?!

All because they do not listen and cannot spend 30 minutes reading a book?