INSIDE THE AGONIES

It is difficult o describe fully the situation I find myself in presently.

My second cold, after more than three months of Aussie flu, and stuck in between places .. even if one is death, also in a lot of pain .. due to the place I find myself trapped in.

My back is in absolute agony and I have been leaning with the small of my back pressed into some banisters while I press back hard trying to free something up. Desperately trying to free something up in the hope that it eases the pain.

I am in a 6ft x 9ft room and with nowhere for a seat and barely enough space to place my feet on the floor. It was not supposed to be this long. I should have really left here a couple of weeks ago. So I have to sit on a bed with no back rest. In my desperation I have been thinking of getting the bed out and placing a sofa in here as I would do anything to ease this pain. Trip to the chemist coming up if this does not improve in an hour or so!

I received a package from my solicitor, just some files attached they received from HMCTS?!

That was a bummer! I did not really expect it to be anything but after I opened it and after the disappointment that there was no court date supplied I then realised that this could have been a letter than answered my current prayers! It could have stated that the court had already decided to re-instate my PIP benefit, pending a court hearing. In my view any court hearing would only really serve the purpose to decide upon any damages. Any medical notes received would be sufficient enough and I find it strange that they would insist that disability people attend a court hearing. If they barely take notice of Doctor's letters, they did not previously, what possible input could the patient/claimant provide?

Yeah that has long since been one of the odd things about all of this. You provide letters and evidence that is then totally ignored but they insist on your presence?! Talk about adding insult to injury? Do they get some kick out of you being present while they then kick you in the nuts once more?

Bearing in mind that I had now had three meetings with HMCTS and not one of them has been successful but .. if I was trying it on the first time I would have to be completely stupid to then go back for two more bouts kicks to the gonads.

I currently feel like I am undergoing a period of torture that has changed from one lot of torture to a completely different set of torture.

This time the tool of effect being that of physical pain after a period of mental pain.

I really cannot seem to win, find a way of winning or even see an avenue towards a method of winning right now.

Oddly those that are tasked to help and those that have a go at others for taking too long themselves .. seem to take too long.

Go figure!

I do tend to be suffering mentally but more of the hair pulling variety and the odd thought of walking in front of a bus rather than physically harming myself, at least not lately.

So we have Ofsted in focus right now and HMCTS possibly positioning themselves in the area of focus?

Well bully for me!