It has been a tough as
well as a mostly confusing time.
I have seen and heard
more misery than ever before. I have been trying to help or be a help
at least to a couple of people and I have been hearing of suicidal
thoughts with people that I know.
I am secretly and
internally in a constant panic mode that during my legal proceedings
I will either do something wrong, not remember something or be unable
to find something that will lose me my case.
The JSA are seemingly
contradicting their early on understanding of my health conditions
and have put two jobs in my JobSearch file that they have requested I
apply for. Neither of these I can do as they are full-time employment
and recalling I have pains, memory problems and over heating problems
and do not own a car, one job is in Stanstead Airport for 12 hour
shifts.
When I told an ex
social worker I know he literally roared in uncontrollable laughter
for a couple of minutes. I was amazed he found it that hilarious.
I was contacted by an
old friend I have not seen in years and he got told about me knowing
what condition I have. When I told him it was Fibromyalgia he looked
shocked, made a call on his mobile and the next thing I know I am
talking to his girlfriend as she has it. We were comparing pains and
she referred to Fibrofog as 'Foggy Brain'. I told her I was having
difficulty getting this message across to my Mind Counsellor he just
keeps saying ''Oh I do that' every time I explain a frustrating and
angry situation I was in recently. She understood as she has had this
herself for years. Then she said something that stopped me in my
tracks and I interrupted her to say “Wait a minute? Did you say you
have taken Pregabalin!” She had and had stopped and claimed that
every time she took it she gained weight.
I explained how I have
tried to get this drug for several years and as a complete
understanding I now have with three or four people in that 'normies'
with no disability do not listen and do not understand as well as not
caring. Even telling someone else how I was explaining to this fellow
Fibromyalgia sufferer I got the often said throw away line by an idiot
that simply wont accept that Doctors lie “I told you! Change your
Doctor!” A bit pointless telling ME that when I am explaining what
I said to someone else with the exact same condition. Bearing in mind
these people know exactly everything I have done I replied in a
sarcastic tone “I HAVE. FIVE TIMES!”
If you do not want to
be treated like an idiot then do not make statements without thinking
them through, remembering everything the person you are going to
throw your lines at has done and … bet still … when you insisting
on something to the point of arguing? Yeaah est NOT to do that when
the exact same thing you have predicted wrong 100% of the time on
three previous occasions.
If you got it wrong
three fucking times then your not best placed to insist how the next
thing is going to go, are you?
I could make this sound
far worse than I have in stating that they are wrong in many other
subjects 95% of the time, give or take a few percent.
The fact is they have
failed to realise that my success rate as just ass high as their
failure rate and yet time afterr time I will be told in no uncertain
terms how it is and how it is going to go.
The one and single time
that they ended up looking correct was not even my own fault but that
of someone else I know making me look like I was wrong.
Speaking of which …
November is almost over. In fact six weeks have now passed and things
are … tiring. There has been some really bad treatment going on and
I did think about 5 weeks or so back that this treatment would
finally end? It seems not. More broken promises and lies. Well by
December that will be the case at any rate.
So then something of a
juggling act?
Well a suicidal young
person, a fearful friend, a solicitor and documents to find and keep
track of and there is a lot of documents, the JSA and damnable Job
Centre, looking for work 35 hours a week (it is in the contract
don'tcha know?!) and eleventy million pounds electric bill, a bike
that needs repairing and another that needs replacing, a Doctor that
is … let us just say awkward, nowhere to go and nothing to do and
being bored and depressed out of my mind, hence the looking for
voluntary work!
Did I forget about
anything? Oh yeah a humongous row with a narcissistic person that
thinks the world revolves around them and everyone else's lives and
feelings are unimportant.
At least at Christmas I
wont have to hear about a long list of molehills as they are turned
into mountains and get into arguments about how to pick out fucking
electronic equipment as it is fucking sacriligeous to take an average
score from 200 people and should listen to those in What Hifi
Magazine who are paid to say shit. Even when I am fucking holding the
proof in my fecking hand!!
All said and done …
pretty quiet really. Lol.
In fact I have only
listed the main things going on at the moment and of course each of
those could be broken down into subdivisions.
Right at this very
moment my life is the complete opposite to what I thought it would be
and there is this ever constant nagging at the back of my mind …
that I may have just helped one of my most hated enemy types to
become somewhat … wealthy?
So while all of the
former is driving me insane the latter is eating away at me
internally.
So yeah I have not
really felt like typing anything out or posting very much. I am back
in contact with two people I have not seen for well over a year.
Possibly well over two. In contact with another who is not going
through a good time right now and the things they are talking about
they should not be at their age.
People have a tendency
to look to me when things are tough. Yeah they might go and ant off
and say things about me but as soon as things get complicated,
intellectual or just plain difficult I am the one they talk to. As if
I possessed a magic wand and can make it all go away. Lol, if only!
Also I have finally
gotten my first two JSA payments, though the first one at £10 was
not only hardly worth mentioning but went in my account without me
even noticing for ten days. Also I am sure the second payment I only
noticed today? Well I am sure that was not due in for another week or
so? I am sure it was December 10th it was to e paid?
Anyway … no mention
at all of the back-pay going back to mid July. Go figure. I guarantee
that the first time the subject is brought up it will be by my
solicitor?!
Oh and how could I
forget?
I received a letter
from Enfield Council who have only paid my full rent for about 18 to
24 months over 9.5 years and in it was a bill for over-payment of
rent?!
Well my solicitor was
interested in seeing hat bill and the letter, which I cannot for the
life of me find an explanation about the over-payment on. She was
also interested in the JSA's recent pressure and asked me to inform
them as soon as I get a letter mentioning any sanctions.
Oh and I see a load of
videos about rouble with Sweden from no go areas for Police because
of Muslims and gangs of them at main railways stations attacking and
mugging women.
Also occurring in
Sweden is that completely fucking barrmy leftist attitudes like that
of the now infamous Social justice Warriors that actually insisted
that their snow-ploughs actually not bother with the main routes and
clear the areas were women normally frequent. Stockholm, I think it
was, came to an abrupt halt … and I DO MEAN HALT!
Of course a search on
YouTube will reward you with many a people ripping crap out of these
two things!
Added to this Nigel
Farage has been ripping Tony Blair a new one, get in there my son,
and explaining that some countries, or country, that had one
referendum over Europe had another one. I guess they did not like the
first one and decided to keep on going until they got the result they
wanted or was able to rig the result they way they wanted it?
Today and finally
someone linked that awful PizzaGate story to people in the UK!!
Europe was not mentioned but the UK certainly was and by an American.
SOMEONE has been doing their homework?!
A Jehovah's Witness who
regularly knocks at my door did so recently. After breaking the news
to me that I am know in the local kingdom hall as 'The Mission Man'
he talked about the things happening in the word and shook his head,
looked at me and said … “This … is … biblical … the things
happening right now!” Yeah I could see why they would think that.
In fact I could fully understand that anyone that is religious …
the Christian religions not the barbaric, murderous and paedophile
lot, might think this. I remember thinking it was a good job he was
only looking, most likely, at the mainstream media and not what I had
looked at!
Well after all …
Satan worshippers in levels of power in government and becoming
President of the United States of America? Umm was that not the story
behind that famous old horror movie about the son of Satan called The
Omen?! LMAO!