THE LONG & SHORT OF IT

It has been a tough as well as a mostly confusing time.

I have seen and heard more misery than ever before. I have been trying to help or be a help at least to a couple of people and I have been hearing of suicidal thoughts with people that I know.

I am secretly and internally in a constant panic mode that during my legal proceedings I will either do something wrong, not remember something or be unable to find something that will lose me my case.

The JSA are seemingly contradicting their early on understanding of my health conditions and have put two jobs in my JobSearch file that they have requested I apply for. Neither of these I can do as they are full-time employment and recalling I have pains, memory problems and over heating problems and do not own a car, one job is in Stanstead Airport for 12 hour shifts.

When I told an ex social worker I know he literally roared in uncontrollable laughter for a couple of minutes. I was amazed he found it that hilarious.

I was contacted by an old friend I have not seen in years and he got told about me knowing what condition I have. When I told him it was Fibromyalgia he looked shocked, made a call on his mobile and the next thing I know I am talking to his girlfriend as she has it. We were comparing pains and she referred to Fibrofog as 'Foggy Brain'. I told her I was having difficulty getting this message across to my Mind Counsellor he just keeps saying ''Oh I do that' every time I explain a frustrating and angry situation I was in recently. She understood as she has had this herself for years. Then she said something that stopped me in my tracks and I interrupted her to say “Wait a minute? Did you say you have taken Pregabalin!” She had and had stopped and claimed that every time she took it she gained weight.

I explained how I have tried to get this drug for several years and as a complete understanding I now have with three or four people in that 'normies' with no disability do not listen and do not understand as well as not caring. Even telling someone else how I was explaining to this fellow Fibromyalgia sufferer I got the often said throw away line by an idiot that simply wont accept that Doctors lie “I told you! Change your Doctor!” A bit pointless telling ME that when I am explaining what I said to someone else with the exact same condition. Bearing in mind these people know exactly everything I have done I replied in a sarcastic tone “I HAVE. FIVE TIMES!”

If you do not want to be treated like an idiot then do not make statements without thinking them through, remembering everything the person you are going to throw your lines at has done and … bet still … when you insisting on something to the point of arguing? Yeaah est NOT to do that when the exact same thing you have predicted wrong 100% of the time on three previous occasions.

If you got it wrong three fucking times then your not best placed to insist how the next thing is going to go, are you?

I could make this sound far worse than I have in stating that they are wrong in many other subjects 95% of the time, give or take a few percent.

The fact is they have failed to realise that my success rate as just ass high as their failure rate and yet time afterr time I will be told in no uncertain terms how it is and how it is going to go.

The one and single time that they ended up looking correct was not even my own fault but that of someone else I know making me look like I was wrong.

Speaking of which … November is almost over. In fact six weeks have now passed and things are … tiring. There has been some really bad treatment going on and I did think about 5 weeks or so back that this treatment would finally end? It seems not. More broken promises and lies. Well by December that will be the case at any rate.

So then something of a juggling act?

Well a suicidal young person, a fearful friend, a solicitor and documents to find and keep track of and there is a lot of documents, the JSA and damnable Job Centre, looking for work 35 hours a week (it is in the contract don'tcha know?!) and eleventy million pounds electric bill, a bike that needs repairing and another that needs replacing, a Doctor that is … let us just say awkward, nowhere to go and nothing to do and being bored and depressed out of my mind, hence the looking for voluntary work!

Did I forget about anything? Oh yeah a humongous row with a narcissistic person that thinks the world revolves around them and everyone else's lives and feelings are unimportant.

At least at Christmas I wont have to hear about a long list of molehills as they are turned into mountains and get into arguments about how to pick out fucking electronic equipment as it is fucking sacriligeous to take an average score from 200 people and should listen to those in What Hifi Magazine who are paid to say shit. Even when I am fucking holding the proof in my fecking hand!!

All said and done … pretty quiet really. Lol.

In fact I have only listed the main things going on at the moment and of course each of those could be broken down into subdivisions.

Right at this very moment my life is the complete opposite to what I thought it would be and there is this ever constant nagging at the back of my mind … that I may have just helped one of my most hated enemy types to become somewhat … wealthy?

So while all of the former is driving me insane the latter is eating away at me internally.

So yeah I have not really felt like typing anything out or posting very much. I am back in contact with two people I have not seen for well over a year. Possibly well over two. In contact with another who is not going through a good time right now and the things they are talking about they should not be at their age.

People have a tendency to look to me when things are tough. Yeah they might go and ant off and say things about me but as soon as things get complicated, intellectual or just plain difficult I am the one they talk to. As if I possessed a magic wand and can make it all go away. Lol, if only!

Also I have finally gotten my first two JSA payments, though the first one at £10 was not only hardly worth mentioning but went in my account without me even noticing for ten days. Also I am sure the second payment I only noticed today? Well I am sure that was not due in for another week or so? I am sure it was December 10^th it was to e paid?

Anyway … no mention at all of the back-pay going back to mid July. Go figure. I guarantee that the first time the subject is brought up it will be by my solicitor?!

Oh and how could I forget?

I received a letter from Enfield Council who have only paid my full rent for about 18 to 24 months over 9.5 years and in it was a bill for over-payment of rent?!

Well my solicitor was interested in seeing hat bill and the letter, which I cannot for the life of me find an explanation about the over-payment on. She was also interested in the JSA's recent pressure and asked me to inform them as soon as I get a letter mentioning any sanctions.

Oh and I see a load of videos about rouble with Sweden from no go areas for Police because of Muslims and gangs of them at main railways stations attacking and mugging women.

Also occurring in Sweden is that completely fucking barrmy leftist attitudes like that of the now infamous Social justice Warriors that actually insisted that their snow-ploughs actually not bother with the main routes and clear the areas were women normally frequent. Stockholm, I think it was, came to an abrupt halt … and I DO MEAN HALT!

Of course a search on YouTube will reward you with many a people ripping crap out of these two things!

Added to this Nigel Farage has been ripping Tony Blair a new one, get in there my son, and explaining that some countries, or country, that had one referendum over Europe had another one. I guess they did not like the first one and decided to keep on going until they got the result they wanted or was able to rig the result they way they wanted it?

Today and finally someone linked that awful PizzaGate story to people in the UK!! Europe was not mentioned but the UK certainly was and by an American. SOMEONE has been doing their homework?!

A Jehovah's Witness who regularly knocks at my door did so recently. After breaking the news to me that I am know in the local kingdom hall as 'The Mission Man' he talked about the things happening in the word and shook his head, looked at me and said … “This … is … biblical … the things happening right now!” Yeah I could see why they would think that. In fact I could fully understand that anyone that is religious … the Christian religions not the barbaric, murderous and paedophile lot, might think this. I remember thinking it was a good job he was only looking, most likely, at the mainstream media and not what I had looked at!

Well after all … Satan worshippers in levels of power in government and becoming President of the United States of America? Umm was that not the story behind that famous old horror movie about the son of Satan called The Omen?! LMAO!

THE TALE OF TWO LIMBOS

I find myself now stranded in not one but two parallel limbos.

Not had the urge or thoughts to write about any particular subjects of late because …. well I simply have not thought or heard of any and have been somewhat … pre-occupied.

There have been a couple of ongoing things and I cannot recall if I posted about it or not but I had a all from the nice lady I met at the IAPT in Enfield. This was over the fact that the anxiety attacks I never thought for a moment I would ever have again, came back and my memory is getting difficult. Cannot work out if things are getting worse or I am just getting tired from it all?

Damn this keyboard … it is fecked, remind me not to ever spend any money on keyboards, especially £150 ones, from PC World ever again!

Anyway that lady from the IAPT told me that there waiting list was way shorter than Mind's as is there counselling and Mind had access to far more things than they have.

I was also told that I should not be having the issues I have had with the DWP and that there is someone that Mind will probably refer me to and told me their name. I had heard of it before so am pretty certain I had contacted them in the past.

Anyway they sent me a letter through with the address of this organisation and will not declare who it is for the time being as … well, prying eyes and all that.

I also realised only yesterday that the DWP have also managed to go 6 weeks without giving me any money at all. Something that one of my friends said was not right. He seems to think that this missing money will turn up with my Universal Credit money? Speaking of credit … he still grants way too many people with far too much of it.

I told my sister a story about him on the phone yesterday. We were speaking about how the only member of my family that was on the social housing list was recently taken off it. Some people thought it was because they turned down one that was offered previously. But my sister probably guessed it correctly when she thought it was because he was earning too much money?

This reminded me of how the public services were being run and I told her that a friend of mine who is into taxidermy, not me, not me lol, bought a crocodile skull in Thailand via legal means He had been trying to get this sent over for a year and has the necessary paperwork.

Recently this arrived at HMRC and he received a letter form them asking for the certification on the item they had. He sent it via email but heard no reply. He sent it via email once again and once again heard no reply. He then sent it by post and once again heard no reply. He then told me he spent several whole afternoons phoning them only to have the phone just ring for ages, even a couple of hours at one stage.

He told me that in the end he got so fed up that he started phoning the same number but changing the very last number hoping he would get through to a different department to actually speak to someone. The first number he tried did not exist. The second number he tried did not exist either but it was literally a case of third time lucky for him and did indeed get through to another department within HMRC.

He then explained to the lady that answered that he had been trying to get a hold of the department in question for weeks What did she say?

“Oh,, sorry about that but we literally have no staff”

I then told my sister what I told my friend … I reminded them that I had recently been in both Chase Farm Hospital as well as Enfield Council's building a few times and that they had no staff and admitted they were running along with next to no one.

So I told them that they all must be like that.

I find it hilarious and I told both of them that I bet the arseholes that do fuck all but get several hundred thousand pounds in salary each year are still in their offices in the upper floors and that staff were you need them are missing?

I wonder how many staff I told were idiots for defending and protecting these arseholes and that they would find themselves screwed over for the same 'legislation' crap are now on Universal Credit?

If your reading this I am sorry to say that … 'O told ya so!'

I have been posting it for four years and preaching it for way over three times that long and probably a lot longer?

I had my second … umm Job Coach meeting which was surprisingly brief. I actually wanted to ask him at least three things and only got to ask one. When I got home I was like “CRAP!!” Lol. Dammit, cannot even remember what the question were!

My anxiety has been back a few times but not as strong as it what previously … give it time though and I am sure it will be back to cause hell?

I guarantee this will be to do with the DWP in some form too? I am sure I am just a week or two away from this Universal Credit and sanctions thing to become a big problem. For instance next week I have found myself to be really busy and have … appointments both Tuesday and Wednesday before I see the Job Coach again on Thursday.

I keep thinking that I am sure there will be trouble before I even get my first payment. Would be bloody typical that they expect people, even fully fit ones, to do leaps, bounds and jump through many hoops while they take six bloody weeks to process your claim and pay you anything. Sanctions before you have even got your first payment? Anyone? Lol.

It is a billion miles away from where I thought I would be at this point this year. Something I still shake my head at in disbelief whenever I think about it.

Despite the fact that things can go wrong and plans to not pan out as you expect them too I still could not have come close to imagining how bad things would be at this point and recently had I even bothered to try.

The pain of boredom and the pain of anxiety while I have to hold several hands of cards very close to my chest. I have to play them close to my chest so I get the best outcome and … acquire the best … information I can get. I could have easily played my cards at any time and would have had the best effect on the situation but I set out to do something very different. To not get the best for me but the best for everybody and I might as well see it through. Would have been very little point in starting all this in the first place if I was just going to … well … umm .. fold,, lol, at some point in time when the going got tough.

I think I have explained fully and in enough detail that the going has most certainly got … tough yet again and arguably worse than ever?

I have one good hand I am holding close to my chest and I am trying to add one good card to that hand that if I succeed is going to have a dramatic and negative effect on everyone I have recently been at war with. Including …. that … judge.

I also have one weak hand too.

In between all this I have this dreaded … boredom. Now that the autumn is finally starting I find myself more bored than ever before. Then there is the flitting back and forth from one to the other while keeping certain things hidden from either a few … factions or everyone I know. That includes everyone that visits my blogs.

Only for another month or two … maybe three.

Playing one hand a certain way means that there will be a massive upheaval like that I went through a little over two years ago. Not really sure I want to go through that again and still have not quite finished what I started at any rate.

There may come a time when it wont be much of an upheaval but until becomes an obvious up and coming reality I have to play things the way I currently am.

If I didn't I would lay myself open to … ridicule once again along with lectures from certain corners and I am not putting myself through that again.

Sound like a couple of limbos? Yeah that is because that is exactly what it is, lol.

At least I now for sure now that I am closer to the end than I am to the beginning! Much closer. At the moment I am aware that this could be merely a few weeks or it could be an entire year? As always it is impossible to say with any certainty and believe me I wish I could.

Yup … loneliness, uncertainty, boredom, fear and anxiety seem to be my constant bedfellows of late and I wonder when they will all move off to pastures new?

Joy, excitement, aim and action all seem to be missing and no spots noticeable on the horizon.

I see in the news that Brexit rumbles ever onwards...

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/bbc-question-time-daily-mail-isabel-oakeshott-emily-thornberry_uk_580008b2e4b0e982146c4de9?utm_hp_ref=uk-news

That piece in the Daily Mail and reported by The Huffington Post states that there was a Question Time and that the political editor of the Daily Mail who appeared on the show, stated that she was more or less fed up with the terms now being used of 'Soft Brexit'' and 'Hard Brexit'.

That is the first time I had heard of these new … terms to describe exiting the EU.

Bizarrely Isabel Oakeshott, the Daily Mail's political editor, stated that what the public voted for was control of Britain's borders. For once the Daily Mail were right as everyone I know voted to exit for that reason as did many people I see commenting online. It seemed to me that a figure in excess of 99% that voted out did so for this very reason.

But the shadow Foreign Secretary, Emily Thornberry, put her head in her hands as if this was some outrageous wish that no one wanted. Apparently Emily Thornberry rather stupidly then muttered “Oh no. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear'.

Except that it states in the report that Isobel Oakeshott received a rapturous applause from the audience!

Jeremy Corbyn's one single solitary problem that leaves him not having a chance of being voted into power is his naïve attitude on immigration that goes hand in hand with what the majority of the British public not only want but bloody well voted for!

Do you get it now, Jeremy?

Insisting on the path you have chosen and acting like most of the British public are wrong and you are right is not going to do you any favours at al. Quite the opposite in fact!

What you have, Mr Corbyn, is a situation in Britain where things are not truly fair and are a very, very long way away from that reality. It is a situation that has been ignored and left to go on for fifteen years plus that now leaves you with absolutely no choice.

Because your not giving the proper message across and along with that you are not agreeing with what appears to be the only solution at the present time.

In other words, Mr Corbyn, there are indeed two solutions and you are not speaking about either one of them. One is guaranteed to work and the other is not but stands a fifty, fifty chance of working.

Without either of these two solutions … you have nothing. Because the ones that voted to leave will only settle for one of these two solutions.

You may also fail to realise that many that voted to remain in Europe also would like one of these two solutions to take place.

In fact a large portion of the ones who voted to remain in Europe are the very faction British people have had enough with.

The real numbers in all this look a lot worse than the actual numbers we got suggested … if you just think about it for a moment.

The ones that voted to leave have all stated that they have a serious problem with immigration and I am willing to bet that a bloody good portion of those voting to stay would also admit that they have issues with immigration too?! But they only voted to stay because of the fear of uncertainty.

I have to admit that even to this day the numbers were not only a real shock to me but still are.

Oddly enough all the public organisations that gave into all this and encouraged these issues are now all on the brink of collapse and all run on a skeleton crew.

So that along with the banks doing what they did really and truly screwed up this nation of ours and have been doing it for so long I am not even sure there is a way out.

What is certain is that something needs to change.

What is certain is that which the public voted for needs to be granted.

Isobel Oakeshott was quite right about this talk of a 'Soft Brexit' and Emily Thornberry fails to see that if you do not provide what most of the nation wants there will be consequences.

It would be like Labour winning the next election and the Conservatives announcing “No! We do not like that so we are staying put!”

Imagine the trouble that would be caused by that?

Putting your head in your hands over something three quarters of the British nation really wants is like telling everyone they are idiots, that they do not know what they want and that you know better.

Your being patronising to a whole nation, more or less.

GOT MY MIND SET ON YOU

I had an email from an organisation I forgot I contacted. In fact it was sent because they had a legal department and that was why I sent one.

It was the organisation, charity, for people with mental health problems called Mind.

They mentioned about advocacy as well as following the correct complaints procedure, which I already have.

Anyway I sent a reply just to see if I can get any titbits out of them?

EMAIL..

Dear Charlotte

Thank you for your email.

I have previously attempted legal representation but curiously there is no legal aid for it.

I find this extremely disturbing and now realise this was part of a greater plan to do the things I first suspected and then proved.

Unfortunately they had not factored me into their equations.

I made a formal complaint and still kept the fact I had Blog with all documentation and recorded proof hidden. I received two reports that were basically lies as this was as I planned.

I then made my blog aware to my previous GP Surgery while NOT informing the NHS. I received a phone call from a woman claiming to be the NHS and stated she was doing a survey on the complaints procedure. When she was told that the reports were full of lies she started that she would handle the complaint again via a different department. She claimed she would send me an email telling me of her intentions.

However after two weeks the email failed to arrive so I emailed NHS England who rang me the next day. Just like the idiot GP he spoke to me as if I was nuts and stated it was not the NHS. When I pointed out that it was and someone called me he insisted that it was not them and must have been the PHSO.

The PHSO were aware of the complaint and already possessed much of the story along with the blog address. But as I later found out they had sent me an email with a form that I needed to sign before they can become actively involved. I also pointed out that it is NOT just these two Doctors but the dozen Doctors in total and that this is controlled by someone in government.

Oddly when I filled in the form for the PHSO I came across a question I Italy was not expecting...

(The question deleted from this pasting)

This threw me as I have not only been screwed by the NHS. If you check my blog thoroughly, which none of the over confident public services and organisations have done thus far except maybe the PHSO, you will see the Police (two forces), Local Councils (4 and counting), MI5, GCHQ, HMRC, DWP, Atos, Argos, Very Catalogue and others along with every ombudsman you can imagine!

My point being that when I started my blog over 18 months ago I literally stated what I had done before for 15 years and no one did anything. I then stated that for the next two years I would then do it all over again and I would record it and post it as I went! I stated that just as before that even with the evidence no one would do anything but put their hands out for money that does not exist?!

Up until that question from the PHSO I have proceed myself correct all along for both past and the next 2 years I was to attempt everything I could.

That question about me (deleted) had thrown me in all honesty. Fit someone in my position I think it is quite an unfair question to ask people unless they fully intend to make good on their innuendoes?!

I would imagine if others had been asked that only to get nowhere this would therefore mean the question was a very cruel one to ask.

I mean to say that in my case the period I have had my health condition is over 15 years and possibly slightly over twenty?! How do you put a (deleted) on that?!

Never once did I consider the possibility of (deleted) actually ever happening. That, after all, was the point of the blog was that nothing ever happened!

So that is where I am at currently and would greatly appreciate your opinion.

Also some years ago I wrote to the Disability Law Service but have not since then. Do they still exist and are they any good? I approached a solicitor who was supposed to special in law for people with Fibromyalgia and yet he declined to help. He quoted no legal aid and, rather rudely assuming, that I could not afford the case! So I felt a bit annoyed about that and seemed like false advertising as he must only work on insurance payouts, but he did not state this on the webpage, and/or very rich people?! Because anyone with Fibromyalgia would not have worked and saved up enough money to fund a case based on his insinuations!

That was Brian Barr Solicitors.

If I did not provide my blog address and you wish to view it based on anything I have stated in this email it is...

asaintcalledallnights.blogspot.com

It seems I have managed to help a number of people and do seem to be building up a lot of visitors which recently tipped over 100,000 in all. This will increase from April to October and a lot faster than it did previously.

In the event you can use my endeavours and blog to help others then please feel free.

Thank you for your time and apologies about the length of it but, well it's over twenty years and I am sure you can appreciate the complexities of it all.

I find it odd that I am achieving far more than any solicitor I have contacted is capable of and have not finished yet.

Yours sincerely

Martin Haswell BSc