I find myself now
stranded in not one but two parallel limbos.
Not had the urge or
thoughts to write about any particular subjects of late because ….
well I simply have not thought or heard of any and have been somewhat
… pre-occupied.
There have been a
couple of ongoing things and I cannot recall if I posted about it or
not but I had a all from the nice lady I met at the IAPT in Enfield.
This was over the fact that the anxiety attacks I never thought for a
moment I would ever have again, came back and my memory is getting
difficult. Cannot work out if things are getting worse or I am just
getting tired from it all?
Damn this keyboard …
it is fecked, remind me not to ever spend any money on keyboards,
especially £150 ones, from PC World ever again!
Anyway that lady from
the IAPT told me that there waiting list was way shorter than Mind's
as is there counselling and Mind had access to far more things than
they have.
I was also told that I
should not be having the issues I have had with the DWP and that
there is someone that Mind will probably refer me to and told me
their name. I had heard of it before so am pretty certain I had
contacted them in the past.
Anyway they sent me a
letter through with the address of this organisation and will not
declare who it is for the time being as … well, prying eyes and all
that.
I also realised only
yesterday that the DWP have also managed to go 6 weeks without giving
me any money at all. Something that one of my friends said was not
right. He seems to think that this missing money will turn up with my
Universal Credit money? Speaking of credit … he still grants way
too many people with far too much of it.
I told my sister a
story about him on the phone yesterday. We were speaking about how
the only member of my family that was on the social housing list was
recently taken off it. Some people thought it was because they turned
down one that was offered previously. But my sister probably guessed
it correctly when she thought it was because he was earning too much
money?
This reminded me of how
the public services were being run and I told her that a friend of
mine who is into taxidermy, not me, not me lol, bought a crocodile
skull in Thailand via legal means He had been trying to get this sent
over for a year and has the necessary paperwork.
Recently this arrived
at HMRC and he received a letter form them asking for the
certification on the item they had. He sent it via email but heard no
reply. He sent it via email once again and once again heard no reply.
He then sent it by post and once again heard no reply. He then told
me he spent several whole afternoons phoning them only to have the
phone just ring for ages, even a couple of hours at one stage.
He told me that in the
end he got so fed up that he started phoning the same number but
changing the very last number hoping he would get through to a
different department to actually speak to someone. The first number
he tried did not exist. The second number he tried did not exist
either but it was literally a case of third time lucky for him and
did indeed get through to another department within HMRC.
He then explained to
the lady that answered that he had been trying to get a hold of the
department in question for weeks What did she say?
“Oh,, sorry about
that but we literally have no staff”
I then told my sister
what I told my friend … I reminded them that I had recently been in
both Chase Farm Hospital as well as Enfield Council's building a few
times and that they had no staff and admitted they were running along
with next to no one.
So I told them that
they all must be like that.
I find it hilarious and
I told both of them that I bet the arseholes that do fuck all but get
several hundred thousand pounds in salary each year are still in
their offices in the upper floors and that staff were you need them
are missing?
I wonder how many staff
I told were idiots for defending and protecting these arseholes and
that they would find themselves screwed over for the same
'legislation' crap are now on Universal Credit?
If your reading this I
am sorry to say that … 'O told ya so!'
I have been posting it
for four years and preaching it for way over three times that long
and probably a lot longer?
I had my second … umm
Job Coach meeting which was surprisingly brief. I actually wanted to
ask him at least three things and only got to ask one. When I got
home I was like “CRAP!!” Lol. Dammit, cannot even remember what
the question were!
My anxiety has been
back a few times but not as strong as it what previously … give it
time though and I am sure it will be back to cause hell?
I guarantee this will
be to do with the DWP in some form too? I am sure I am just a week or
two away from this Universal Credit and sanctions thing to become a
big problem. For instance next week I have found myself to be really
busy and have … appointments both Tuesday and Wednesday before I
see the Job Coach again on Thursday.
I keep thinking that I
am sure there will be trouble before I even get my first payment.
Would be bloody typical that they expect people, even fully fit ones,
to do leaps, bounds and jump through many hoops while they take six
bloody weeks to process your claim and pay you anything. Sanctions
before you have even got your first payment? Anyone? Lol.
It is a billion miles
away from where I thought I would be at this point this year.
Something I still shake my head at in disbelief whenever I think
about it.
Despite the fact that
things can go wrong and plans to not pan out as you expect them too I
still could not have come close to imagining how bad things would be
at this point and recently had I even bothered to try.
The pain of boredom and
the pain of anxiety while I have to hold several hands of cards very
close to my chest. I have to play them close to my chest so I get the
best outcome and … acquire the best … information I can get. I
could have easily played my cards at any time and would have had the
best effect on the situation but I set out to do something very
different. To not get the best for me but the best for everybody and
I might as well see it through. Would have been very little point in
starting all this in the first place if I was just going to … well
… umm .. fold,, lol, at some point in time when the going got
tough.
I think I have
explained fully and in enough detail that the going has most
certainly got … tough yet again and arguably worse than ever?
I have one good hand I
am holding close to my chest and I am trying to add one good card to
that hand that if I succeed is going to have a dramatic and negative
effect on everyone I have recently been at war with. Including ….
that … judge.
I also have one weak
hand too.
In between all this I
have this dreaded … boredom. Now that the autumn is finally
starting I find myself more bored than ever before. Then there is the
flitting back and forth from one to the other while keeping certain
things hidden from either a few … factions or everyone I know. That
includes everyone that visits my blogs.
Only for another month
or two … maybe three.
Playing one hand a
certain way means that there will be a massive upheaval like that I
went through a little over two years ago. Not really sure I want to
go through that again and still have not quite finished what I
started at any rate.
There may come a time
when it wont be much of an upheaval but until becomes an obvious up
and coming reality I have to play things the way I currently am.
If I didn't I would lay
myself open to … ridicule once again along with lectures from
certain corners and I am not putting myself through that again.
Sound like a couple of
limbos? Yeah that is because that is exactly what it is, lol.
At least I now for sure
now that I am closer to the end than I am to the beginning! Much
closer. At the moment I am aware that this could be merely a few
weeks or it could be an entire year? As always it is impossible to
say with any certainty and believe me I wish I could.
Yup … loneliness,
uncertainty, boredom, fear and anxiety seem to be my constant
bedfellows of late and I wonder when they will all move off to
pastures new?
Joy, excitement, aim
and action all seem to be missing and no spots noticeable on the
horizon.
I see in the news that
Brexit rumbles ever onwards...
That piece in the Daily
Mail and reported by The Huffington Post states that there was a
Question Time and that the political editor of the Daily Mail who
appeared on the show, stated that she was more or less fed up with
the terms now being used of 'Soft Brexit'' and 'Hard Brexit'.
That is the first time
I had heard of these new … terms to describe exiting the EU.
Bizarrely Isabel
Oakeshott, the Daily Mail's political editor, stated that what the
public voted for was control of Britain's borders. For once the Daily
Mail were right as everyone I know voted to exit for that reason as
did many people I see commenting online. It seemed to me that a
figure in excess of 99% that voted out did so for this very reason.
But the shadow Foreign
Secretary, Emily Thornberry, put her head in her hands as if this was
some outrageous wish that no one wanted. Apparently Emily Thornberry
rather stupidly then muttered “Oh no. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear'.
Except that it states
in the report that Isobel Oakeshott received a rapturous applause
from the audience!
Jeremy Corbyn's one
single solitary problem that leaves him not having a chance of being
voted into power is his naïve attitude on immigration that goes hand
in hand with what the majority of the British public not only want
but bloody well voted for!
Do you get it now,
Jeremy?
Insisting on the path
you have chosen and acting like most of the British public are wrong
and you are right is not going to do you any favours at al. Quite the
opposite in fact!
What you have, Mr
Corbyn, is a situation in Britain where things are not truly fair and
are a very, very long way away from that reality. It is a situation
that has been ignored and left to go on for fifteen years plus that
now leaves you with absolutely no choice.
Because your not giving
the proper message across and along with that you are not agreeing
with what appears to be the only solution at the present time.
In other words, Mr
Corbyn, there are indeed two solutions and you are not speaking
about either one of them. One is guaranteed to work and the other is
not but stands a fifty, fifty chance of working.
Without either of these
two solutions … you have nothing. Because the ones that voted to
leave will only settle for one of these two solutions.
You may also fail to
realise that many that voted to remain in Europe also would like one
of these two solutions to take place.
In fact a large portion
of the ones who voted to remain in Europe are the very faction
British people have had enough with.
The real numbers
in all this look a lot worse than the actual numbers we got suggested
… if you just think about it for a moment.
The
ones that voted to leave have all stated that they have a serious
problem with immigration and I am willing to bet that a bloody good
portion of those voting to stay would also admit that they have
issues with immigration too?! But they only voted to stay because of
the fear of uncertainty.
I
have to admit that even to this day the numbers were not only a real
shock to me but still are.
Oddly
enough all the public organisations that gave into all this and
encouraged these issues are now all on the brink of collapse and all
run on a skeleton crew.
So
that along with the banks doing what they did really and truly
screwed up this nation of ours and have been doing it for so long I
am not even sure there is a way out.
What
is certain is that something needs to change.
What
is certain is that which the public voted for needs to be granted.
Isobel
Oakeshott was quite right about this talk of a 'Soft Brexit' and
Emily Thornberry fails to see that if you do not provide what most of
the nation wants there will be consequences.
It
would be like Labour winning the next election and the Conservatives
announcing “No! We do not like that so we are staying put!”
Imagine
the trouble that would be caused by that?
Putting
your head in your hands over something three quarters of the British
nation really wants is like telling everyone they are idiots, that
they do not know what they want and that you know better.
Your
being patronising to a whole nation, more or less.
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