ALWAYS STOOD IN LINE FOR THIS

Things are somewhat … surreal.

I stand at a junction consisting of many, many roads.

For each I know not the destinations and some lead to dark places, very dark indeed.

Without a home, dead or dying are but some of the possibilities.

But I wonder on what to do despite having done so much and wonder on how strange it seems to attempt to carry on as normal during the interim.

In my life I have stood in a great many lines to unknown places that mostly have consisted of horrors and nightmares. I have typed, waited, plotted and planned on explaining all of this to as many others as I could. To bare all that I have experienced and endured. Along the way collecting what evidence, actions and inactions that I could and publish to a very wide audience.

Late 2015 I thought myself on the brink … a cusp of greater things and transformations to all that I know. Mid 2016 and none of this has occurred and I find myself back in familiar nightmares about to be played out yet again?

As I said … surreal.

Maybe this was an inevitability I simply did not foresee?

Perhaps it was always destined to be?

Would I have to relive the nightmares while I typed and posted to the wider global audience? Was it to be with the darkest possibilities waiting to unfold while being treated in the most inhumane ways before the wider public caught notice? Was this always the way that it would have to play out?

Dates race towards me with surprising velocity. Many things are imminent.

I do wonder that the diagnosis already made along with those to come while the public services exact their inhumanity might be so unique as to appear as the biggest shock to the wider audience?

After all making me homeless without good reason only provides the audience with the very real possibility that an attempt is made to shut things down that they fear and have done for a very long time. But doing so while in the cusp of revealing ever darker things should make this all the more horrid to those that bear witness.

For the longest time I felt my fate was already laid out for me while religious types remained convinced I had been given some higher purpose, against all my beliefs of my scientific mind.

There was the phone-call of the innocent voice of uncertainty.. Literally. I had been expecting this and it is three days later than I thought I would get it. My landlord!

Explaining the things that have occurred and the imminent dates to come his voice of disbelief could clearly be told. His voice rants off the attitudes off the public services as they think that all of society stands still and waits for them to get their acts together.

Dishonest … stubborn .. narrow minded … without compassion ... selfish.

The wider public are growing very weary of their attitudes and with every passing month I see ever more evidence that in time they will have no choice but to change. Or be deconstructed..forcibly so.

As for me I sincerely hope that when this event is over that fate, God or whoever is done with me … because I am done.

Anxiety may be at low levels but the fear that the stretched heart string, palpitations and wrenched nerves will return and that my ability to think or do deserts me as in the past?

I have still been told nothing of the fate of my belongings by Enfield Council and have asked them each time I have contacted them via email. In person I forgot both times as I did on the phone too.

Like I said … many things are imminent. September is going to be one of the worst and busiest months that my life has witnessed in many, many years. The most nerve wrecking too no doubt.

I feel the wind may be rising?

Thought has strayed to continuing on while being in the worst possible position imaginable to almost anyone. The actions against me may render the lack of feeling to my legs as permanent. I may be told I have only so long to live? To cap it all there is the possibility of being homeless to save money and make those responsible look good and keep their jobs longer?

What I find amazing is that no one thinks me mad any longer and every single one I have met see these actions for what they are. I hope naivety is not too widespread and this is how it is taken on the blogs where I publish this stuff. As one guy commented recently about those that remain doggedly naïve … that they would fall foul to these actions, or inactions, eventually.

Realisation suddenly come over me as I recalled a friend who died of a brain tumour a few years back, that was also something off a major surprise. What are the odds that this would happen twice to two friends?

I ponder the possibility that the winds might rise also? Will the ultimate sacrifice shock those that watch to their cores? Will the truth wash over them with such fervour that it acts like a catalyst and forces these watchers into action? Will the stories be told and the truth spread like a virulent disease? Might the actions and sacrifices finally get close to their intended destinations? Will some good finally come from all of this? Will change for the better start to take place akin to seeing the first signs of green leaves appearing in a barren wasteland?

Will it be remembered?

Like a storm rising fast and spinning with ever greater intensity will the people rise up and force those ultimately guilty out of their houses of death and onto the never ending roads?

Like a whirlwind in my mind that conjures up many possibilities and scenarios. Each one with an outcome that benefits all of mankind.

Will the evil that abounds fall upon the burning mounds? The naïve opening their eyes and banding together to root out all evil? Would mankind once again be allowed to move forwards and not sideways or back? Will we ever shed the beasts that lay within us?

Will I ever live long enough to see the fruits of my labours? Most probably and sadly not.

Ten days could be all that it takes?

The tunnel exit is stretched out before me and the light too blinding to see.

In the darkness the anxiety awaits.

WHEN YOUR END MIGHT BE NIGH

Well I have been relieved of my responsibilities ... as of last night and two days later than I had first thought.

My friend returns from his five and a half week long holiday around 4pm today.

There is a lot he does not know. Like my rent has yet to be paid and assessed and that the appointments over my seizures and blackouts are so imminent it will blow him away. Two appointments would have been completed within two weeks leaving a final one next February. I think it was next February.

Though it remains to be seen for obvious reasons whether or not this February appointment gets moved forwards. I suspect if it is anything dangerous, ,like the brain tumour possibility, it will be brought forward. If it is Narcolepsy I am not so sure as I am not so sure if there are any dangers associated with Narcolepsy? I mean I do not know if you can just fall asleep walking across a road? I for one have certainly never heard of that but the way some symptoms are described you do wonder. I have not even had it force me to fall asleep even while talking with someone. Not that I talk to many people, you understand?

So I have been sitting on these letters for about a week.

I really have found little time to do many things I normally like to do for the past five weeks and I had a hard enough time finding the time previously. Along with remembering to do things or cover subject matters in posts.

I dread to think how many posts never got made from the outset? A lot, that is for certain.

I am only doing this now because I have only just now photocopied the scan appointment letters because I have to send copies off to people. One is the court that will be hearing my case against the DWP and the NHS will be mentioned too.

So at the moment what I am trying to do is that along with the Fibromyalgia and knee symptoms I am trying to show that I have indeed been having the blackouts and the seizure I mentioned and that this might not be good news.

So even if they do want to act inhumanely and make me homeless they may well decide to put of this act of inhumanity until I know for sure what it is that is afflicting me?!

After all who wants to be a homeless bum while dying of a brain tumour? Hmm I wonder if voluntary euthanasia might finally be available to me?!

I have told the court that the idea of voluntary euthanasia is a far more appealing prospect than life in the UK the way that it has been for me the last twenty years.

In fact i even mentioned that my sole distraction currently is watching documentaries on astronomy along with quantum mechanics and quantum entanglement on YouTube, I kid you not!

Even right now I go back to being bored but the anxiety attacks seem to be subdued to a level that is manageable for now and hopefully the weather stays good, sunny and fairly cool and I might actually finally get out with my cameras over the next week?! Fingers crossed. After all I might not get to do much more of that a month from now?! Fingers crossed it wont end up that way?

Anyhoo ..

Here are the medical appointment letters for an imminent MRI at Chase Farm Hospital and another almost imminent appointment at Royal Free Hospital for ... something or other Both appointments are to do with the seizures and blackouts. Also as I stated before it turns out that these appointments are made for a couple of weeks, if thought to be urgent, or eighteen weeks if not. Mine are obviously of the former and not the latter. Strange to put that on the backs of the letter without actually telling me what they think it might be.

Now to me this would make people think it must be the worst case scenario, if they make appointments so soon but have failed to tell you anything at all. Don't you think?

I AM NOT A NUMBER ... OH WAIT?

Well I said this is what was happening, did I not?

As I mentioned previous first myself and then I heard of a great number of disabled people having both their benefits cancelled asking with many mobility because too.

I stated that this must be offset of some plan after a brother who runs a Ford showroom near St Albans somewhere told me almost all his mobility customers came in like a biblical flood to inform Ford their benefits had been cut and their next payments for mobility would not be made.

He said they had not seen anything quite like it before. It was utter madness.

Heading many miles east of St Albans along the M25 motorway to Waltham Abbey and I was told of many disabled people losing their benefits and mobility schemes there as well.

I hope to God that have upgraded the buses and trains and increased the number of both?

Yeeah you just know that they haven't.

If there's one thing you can be absolutely sure of, of all Britain's governments of the last twenty years is they have zero foresight. Zero!

Even when things are staring them in the face say badly it's akin to being kicked in your kneecaps they fail to notice. Probably feign it but there you go?

Or ...

Kick large numbers off benefits and the local transport collapses under the strain.

Cancel the welfare system and you create well over 1 Million criminals overnight.

They are just two certainties. Two constants that you very simply and very obviously, unless your completely incompetent, cannot get around.

They can, of course, just as they have done here, massage and manipulate the numbers with some short term cheating. Well I say 'long term' but maybe it's not?

Oh that reminds me of another idiotic thing that all governments do. They act in a way that makes it obvious, to anyone with mute than six brain cells, what they are up to but think they can tell obvious lies and no one is any the wiser.

Blowhards!

Stunningly unbelievable how they think they can get away with it and even more shocking that they actually manage to get away with it.

Meaning that almost all out tabloids and TV news networks are woefully inadequate.

What makes the tabloids and TV news networks way, way worse than bit seeing or reporting this stuff is that they actually print or show reports backing up these lying arseholes?! Even have while series' where they follow a team and of some public service or other showing what a fantastic job they do?!

There are many. But the most obvious one is the series about following the Police around. Then compare this to the number of complaints there have been about the Police. Compare it to the number of reports from corruption to racism and everything in-between?

They are just the ones that were found out and reported.

I find this one of the most, if not the most, disturbing thing about modern society. That the people that run the public services and work in them who are takes as servants of the people actually lie to them and chest them.

It's just not the way to do things and not the way to progress as a society.

I simply cannot believe that anyone in their right mind would think this is the natural way to do things?

Would an intelligent and peaceful alien race seriously want anything to do with us acting like this? The only and short answer is no.

The longer answer would be that of outsiders saw is treat each other and our own this way then how would they treat beings from other worlds?!

It's funny how I know people that used to read comics and watch sci-fi films and TV shows but are suspicious of anyone with a different skin color. Though never all of them, only certain nationalities. For whatever reasons they have they can be very extreme about what ... should be done in their minds.

But change the subject to ever being visited by intelligent beings from other worlds and their eyes light up!

I then wondered if they would act in a way that they think they would towards any extra terrestrial beings? You might not treat all of your fellow humans the same and be suspicious of many, with fair reason at times. But how would you feel with beings far more removed from us than any other race of humans on Earth?!

I think many people ... no a great many people do not think things through completely.

There's a big difference between fantasy and reality which a large percentage of people seem to be completely oblivious to.

And here we are? Apparently the jobless total has gone down..except it quite simply has not.

Long before they announced this I said that they would and I said it would be a lie.

A large nationwide wage of people have been kicked off benefits unfairly had taken place!

The news media and tabloids need to also be taught something. The number of people on benefits is not the number to be used for the number of jobless! It likely never was reliable.

UK jobless total falls to 1.64 million - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-37105028

THE SIGHT OF SEVERAL LIMBOS

It is a very strange time I am in currently and not a very good one if I say so myself.

There are just so many things up in the air and each of these I have little information about and simply do not know what is going to happen.

Each of these things can have nothing or something bad at their very worst. Well … except for one that is.

It feels at times like I am in psychedelic like limbo and each time I find an exit someone closes it before I get there or it just leads to yet another psychedelic limbo just of different colours.

Of course I am still waiting to be excused from my current responsibilities of pet sitting … or at east checking on. Might not seem like much but you have to factor doing this along with everything else you do and when you do not have time, or always forgetting your own shit it gets a bit much.

I share this responsibility with two other people and one of them was on the phone yesterday and I asked her how they were finding it and were they getting tired of it. They was. That was a couple doing it together. Oddly I got thanked several times and probably because they were relieved they did not have to do it every single day for the five and a half weeks?

She also remarked about how much I knew and what I could do by telling me “Your so talented!” to which I replied it had not done me much favours thus far. Still working on that and I hope I got my guesses right or at least close to it?

Some things I simply do not understand why I am in this limbo and does not feel very fair. This is down to others to do the right things.

Another one I do not understand also and feel like the timing is very suspicious and once again is down to others to decide, though at least with this one I get some input. I will also get some output to, though they are not going to like either the input nor the output

Yet another limbo will be whatever it is it turns out to be ad there is absolutely nothing I can do about it and it will be Earth shattering to a great many.

Limbos. All I see to have is Limbos?

Even the weather has done its utmost to work against me. This has almost completely halted my content gathering. This is something I should look at improving … somehow.

This year of 2016 will always be remembered by me as the land of the limbos because for most of the year I seem to have one … dogging me. Of course some of these things are down to others so it is possible that every single day of 2016 could end up with at least one limbo I have been left in.

Then there are the days of boredom and the yearning for something to change. Though change may well be forced on me in a most unwelcome way. Especially if I am made homeless! Lol. Though the court date could be so far off that the attempt they have made could end up being futile? Fingers crossed!

The weather is supposed to become warm, again, and with it sunny. I might actually be able to get out for a couple of days with my two cameras?! I hope it is warm with little wind, not too hot mind and stays this way throughout the month of September. I might actually be able to put those cameras to some good use?!

It still amazes me that like an astronomer seeking a new comet I wonder about a wandering star that disappeared from view in the last days of 2015. It is this wandering star that could ensure that every single day of 2016, possibly many more, are left with me stranded in one particular limbo.

This limbo has had a knock on effect and all other limbos would not exist but for this one. It is … frustrating and caused an almighty problem for me. I simply have to ignore that anything took place but it would not do much good. It is the thoughts and perceptions of others that have been a major nightmare.

Trying to force myself some rest I have watched a couple of documentaries on astronomy, dark matter, theoretical physics which includes quantum mechanics. I saw another with scientist Michio Kaku about how society might be in fifty years time, or 2066.

After that I started the old classic black and white movie The Fiend Without A Face. Classic..

I should be doing housework. But I never get a chance to actually rest, which I should do more often. Fibromyalgia is all about pacing.

Also the very little creativity I have when it comes to writing also mostly evades me at times like this. That … is damned annoying too! Another thing that doing favours for others that go on for weeks does for you. Another reason why I did not want to do it in the first place.

Some people just do not listen nor take no for an answer.

Funny though that when the tables are turned and it is time for some reciprocation or even a little understanding those that want it and expect it are not very good at handing it out.

Lately I have been thinking mostly about that article about a human soul living on in some kind of quantum state after death.

Takes me back to the statements I made on here several times about whether we ever come back?

Also asks the question that if we have souls, let us call the that for now, did we exist in some state before humans evolved?

I have also asked myself if we keep coming back into these bodies used as some kind of shell but are tied up to the basic human instincts until such a time that the hosts we use have evolve enough for us to be … whatever it is we are?

Hmm after all I did state in the past I would not want to come back as another human until the world as evolved enough that we do not treat each other like crap. Maybe we just have to and we all do?

Also if we have souls or existed in some kind of non-physical energy or quantum state then how many are there? Or maybe the souls are linked to our human bodies and that is how the soul gets created? But some seem to come back? The are dozens and maybe even hundreds of cases of children seemingly describing a previous life that they lived that were factual.

I wonder if discovering that we o have these 'souls' that on realisation and proof of this people might see the world and each other differently?

It could be the one thing … the one discovery that could change … everything literally overnight? I personally think that this would be very cool and somewhat enlightening.

But then I suppose that those that are of the strongest feelings of a religious nature would simply refute it and call it hocus-pocus' or devil talk?

It might take an old generation to die out and possibly a new generation to accept the scientific discoveries on a nation wide or even a global scale?

How about a question that will completely cook your noodles?

If we do exist in some quantum state and leap from body to body throughout the course of time then ..

Is this limited to beings on Earth?

Maybe sci-fi writers that write fantastic novels or create movies or series are remembering lives they had elsewhere in the universe?

POOF There goes your mind! Lol.

Imagine that for a moment with a couple of examples … the worlds of Star Wars and Star Trek actually existing in some form or another?

POOF There goes your mind once again.

How about applying The Matrix film into all this? An infinite number of possibilities, remember? Well .. almost infinite. I think the number will be so big that it might as well be considered infinite.

It is easily dismissible I agree and quite fantastical. But you cannot say it is not entirely possible. It is just an idea that came to me as I was writing. An almost infinite universe has an equally almost infinite number of possibilities.

It is funny how I think how primitive we are and that is how I see us. We have only managed to place man on the moon thus far and still not even another planet yet.

I would like to come back when we have managed to spread, or at least be able to travel to a couple of dozen other star systems with worlds that are habitable for humans.

I think if we could have advanced that far we might be able to live in a society whereby you are not subjected to trickery, dishonesty, today's style of politics. In other words where your not treated and looked at like you belong to a lower and worthless form of life.

Hmm .. if I can last for another ten years and hold off coming back for about forty years then I might come back to a world worth living in? If it is in Europe, Australia, the USA and maybe even Russia? Putin should be gone by then? Lol. Oh yeah, China and Japan too, though I wont want to eat animals I love and admire in this life.

Huh. Have to admit was thinking a lot last couple of days about the new Star Wars Rogue One trailer, must be why the science fiction possibilities popped into my head?

But we dream of human things, or at least I do? I think? Hmm .. memory not great so I could not really say for certain.

The universe. I often wonder what wonders exist out there among the stars? A space so infinite it could be that anything you could possibly imagine existed out there in some form or another? We are always finding things we previously stated could not exist as well as finding those predicted to exist.

And here we are on this tiny blue dot, hating one another, killing one another and generally not giving a crap about one another. But then every now and then a glimmer of humanity is showed from one to another.

Too much of the former and not enough of the latter.

We are not entertained.

I find it odd that with all the things available to me that were not to those that lived a mere fifty hears ago that one could be so adversely affected by boredom.

The boredom of the blue dot.

I see people on YouTube a lot lately and all the time they are looking for their next entertainment fix. Could be a cinematic movie, TV series or even a new video game. For others it could be all manner of things?

Another classic called 'Invasion from Mars' is playing right now on YouTube. Not black and white this time though.

Our choices are so narrow, our ranges so short. Distance increases the possibilities available to us and yet our modes of travel are still so primitive. Our space so finite. Most space of what we do have is owned by so few. In places.

Ha! People and Martians keep running in tunnels. They keep repeating the same bit of film, that was budget movie making for you back then. There is a reason they are regarded as old classics .. many reasons in fact.

As much as I love more modern but still old classics it is amazing how sci-fi movie creators did not see things just a few years down the line. Take Alien. Will always be a classic and always look good but I still see cathode ray tubes used when they should not have been.

Carl Sagan said we should be a two planet species and yet he has been dead a long time, unfortunately, and we still exist on just one planet. That planet of limited space and resources. That third rock from the sun that is still at threat from asteroids, comets, extreme volcanic disturbances, magnetic flip and the extreme weather flip flopping that has been going on.

Oops. I fell asleep. The next thing I knew was waking up,, YouTube had just been running and playing stuff while asleep and it was effing 4am in the morning?! From around 9 or 10pm! That has never happened before. Umm .. I think.

Anyway this was cut short as I forgot what I was going to say and it is 12 hours or so later than I intended.

Hmm .. narcolepsy?

THE BOY FROM ALEPPO

Moving.

That was ... moving.

Seen video of this poor child who was caked in dust and blood that was saved from a building in Aleppo, Syria.

Apparently it had been viewed by a great many and there is some outrage going on about the video of pictures?

Or outrage over the war?

That got me thinking about the possibility of being the latter. War is bad and children get hurt or worse, killed. It's even worse when you have a large group of people that simply want to hate, rape, torture and kill everything that's different to them or don't agree with you.

But now that some have actually seen the evidence of what happens in a way everyone is outraged?

People are so utterly afflicted with the 'out of sight, out of mind' attitude.

When I saw that child I was reminded that wars were started by evil people that wouldn't give a shit about their own children and out then through these kinds of horrors.

But most others see it and go 'oh crap, that's not acceptable! Not having a war where children get hurt' and I wonder where their heads have been at since the war started?

Did they think they stopped to move the women and children out first? No because they are driven by amoral desires and fantasies to the point that they could not care less how much pain and suffering is forced upon God knows how many children.

To me this delayed reaction to the realities of what goes in within a war explains one hell of a lot. A hell of a lot.

To understand the plights of others more and therefore help prevent suffering and pain prior really need to learn or work out why they have blinkers on and testing themselves to take them off. A hell of a lot earlier than they are doing.

This may not have a positive effect or save lives in every instance but there will be times when can.

A couple hundred years most likely?

Battle for Aleppo: Photo of shocked and bloodied Syrian five-year-old sparks outrage - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-37116349

THE NOTICES NOT TAKEN

Yeah. Right.

It seems that they have bought in some new rules along with fines for tax avoidance?

In what I think is a blatant abuse of both the legal system and tax system, changes cone in that I would wager are rarely upheld. At least in many along with the biggest cases? That's my prediction. 

Hard to both disprove as well as prove.

It also turns out that the fine is to be equal to that amount that was avoided in tax payments. It also turns out that punishments are too be handed out to those that help in this tax avoidance?!

It's one thing stating punishments for accountants and financial advisers but it's write another enforcing this.

I think this is a blatant use of the system and another expensive one, because I believe this is to keep the general public quiet a little bit longer by making it appear 'we are all in it together'? The fact that this has come 6 or 7 years into this crisis is nothing short of a blatant disregard for most of the British public. I mean, 7 years?! Really?!

I'll believe their intentions when at least a dozen people, organisations and companies from across the financial spectrum have all been ... done!

The trouble with these pyramid scheme like societies we in the west seen to live in is that to set examples they go to the bottom tier. When that is not enough they simply move up a tier, taking an inordinate amount of time to do so to.

'Across the board' might just become my new motto in my ever ensuring chase to catch these types of criminal people and change attitudes?

So let's see shall we? No doubt when no one has been done in the first year there will be all these excuses as to why that is?

Then it will be noted that those being caught will be those up to a particular financial threshold? Then more excuses and reasons will come along to postpone them taking actions against these higher tier people, companies and organisations.

In fact most of these things will leave behind traces, at the very least, of behavioural patterns in all this?

Let's see if some bright spark actively looks for this, looks for the signs and reports the details on it all?

Tax avoidance: Accountants face tougher penalties - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-37101020

THE DIRTY TRUTH PART DEUS

Well lookee here?

I've just spent a day in excruciating pain once again because I ignored the previous warning signs. It seems I am now affected by chip shop chips after all and can never eat them again. At least until I've found out what's going on and I'm still waiting for the damned hospital letter over this!

I'll be asking my GP when I see him this week what's happened to the referral and if he had any idea about the chips aggravating whatever it is.

There was still the issue of him putting his fingers in my waist, me coughing and something hitting his fingers. I must remember to ask him what he thought that was. Some hernia or other I presume? If so this would mean I currently have three hernias?! Crikey.

No I wanted to post about a story that is singling out a disability assessor they refer to as a nurse.

I have said on here, hoping that certain morons lacking any intelligence at all, would realise they were being used and would be 'left holding the baby' as I told my previous GP.

Apparently this so called nurse was nothing off on her Facebook account about certain disabled people.

One suffered with my condition of Fibromyalgia along with Raynaud's Disease. Apparently she worked for Capita and there is an investigation?

So Capita and the DWP are going to blame this idiot, moron nurse for everything and day they didn't agree with her assessing? That's my prediction.

Except they are going to look like two faced lying twats because I'm having to do to court over my benefits and it's not even over Personal Independent Payments!

It also shows that I can now proceed to the court and any DWP representative that may appear, and I hope they do, that they lied when they told me that they knew about Fibromyalgia. I didn't need to prove it to myself, it had very long since been obvious. But having it as ammunition for the court hearing to go with everything else I have will make things very interesting.

Dying to see how they will react!

I don't know where they find these naïve morons to do the assessing and don't forget there are no less than four departments dealing with this, three of them under different private companies. Probably all set up by Serco?

The whole thing is a set up to allow the DWP plausible deniability. The trouble is that someone has to pay when the shit hits the fan. They think themselves so clever, like that complete idiot woman from the DWP that rang me. They talk down to you and are extremely patronising when they simply don't have the I.Q. to back it up.

So don't be fooled by what you think, have been told or had been alluded to you is right ... think, the fuck, for yourselves, do your research, know your shit and then make your minds up.

Don't be jobsworths because there is nothing I hate more than people like that and nothing I like more than taking them apart, piece by piece. Metaphorically speaking of course.

Benefits nurse suspended over Facebook posts - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-37010145

THE PROOF OF SOULS

I often wander in my mind into strange places.

Sometimes this is prompted by something and sometimes something crops up that has my revisiting past theories.

Carl Sagan would not be pleased.

I have thought for a long time that there were one or more things in physics we had not been able to explain. One that Carl Sagan actually ruled out and was the one and only time I wondered if he was right.

Sometimes there are these strange connections I have not been able to explain. I have experienced things that no one could explain. That may be about to change.

I have often thought that there are these hidden links we were yet to discover and they existed across time and space. I have had far too many things happen for it to be coincidence alone.

I had always secretly hoped it would be discovered and explained in my lifetime but in reality I never thought it would be.

They might be about to prove that we have souls as they seem to think that your consciousness ... may ... exist in some quantum state after death.

This may sound fantastic and unlikely to some. The trouble is it is easy for us to be automatically repelled by things difficult to comprehend. But this is nothing knew and nothing that most individuals are unaware of.

but if we look at the things we do and ask ourselves why we do them then suddenly the idea that we live on, or exist on, in some state no longer looks or sounds hard to believe.

Many things I have questioned many times in the past ... going back a very long time.

Many have striven in the past to further the progress of humanity. This is an area I had always hoped to be involved with in my own life.

Even within the pages of this blog I do this. I suspected some inhumane things going on within society that no one was picking up on and many were victims of. Of course I knew I would have trouble getting people to believe. In the beginning they did not, even those closest to me. These caused a bit of a drift away from me on many occasions.

So I had to get something ... and realised that just one or even a couple of things would probably not anywhere near enough. So I decided to get a great many on everyone I suspected. These people and organisations, this counts especially if your not British, infamously take forever to do anything. Plus I would need genuine reasons to go about things.

Over a long time and as things occurred, went wrong, my health failed and symptoms drove me to the greatest distractions that would bring down my world time after time. Also mostly I had to wait until they tried something on. Until it became clear that there as a major agenda. A mission to attack large numbers of people while trying to keep the whole thing hidden from prying eyes so that no one saw the truth.

That was always going to take at least three years at my initial estimate.

So I published and posted, recorded and manipulated and I kept on going. Things were never going to remain the same and the enemy would soon learn what was going on, stand back, perform a rethink and then try again. They would always try and second guess me but the truth was I was always seeing their attempts to second guess me before they did it. So my tactics had to adapt to take  this into account. I could only continue on if I altered my tactics and left it alone long enough for them to believe they had it all wrapped up and had me on the ropes once again. They would do this when they thought I had nothing to back myself up with. This was always going to be a mistake. Pretty soon and in a few months time they are going to realise they got it wrong. Again.

I knew what was going on and I had known for a very long time.

So why did I blog about it?

To help others. To show others and as many as I could.

Because if I could show enough people then things would be forced to change. They would be found out, the illusions shattered and the public would, in unison, say "NO!"

Well all the decent, honest and compassionate ones that is as the amoral ones would not really give a toss about anyone else but themselves, which would take up most people in politics. Not all maybe, but most.

But why, or anyone else for that matter, want to change things? Presently I am well aware that because of seizures and constant blackouts I may have time for my end that is not in the too distant future? I knew I was not epileptic and that leaves something far worse. Something ... malignant.

In other words I already think that things changing will likely not happen until it is far too late for me and have to accept this is a real possibility. Because if I try to accept it now then maybe I will take it better if I am ever told this? I could get that very wrong.

But I am still trying to change things. I still think that we are holding back humanity and its progress in a way that is not too dissimilar to Galileo all those years ago. Because the perceptions that are forced or manipulated on public service staff to the general public is a very wrong and outdated one. I clearly state that this is not the way to do things and you cannot use a tiny minority as the control group, of sorts, for why you act the way you do, tell the lies that you do and treat human beings so inhumanely that animals are treated far, far better than large groups of people, numbering in the millions.

All because I believe that changes some attitudes here and there and changing practices here and there my society can progress so much faster and do so much more.

I deal with the facts. his means I like to deal with the truth. I am at heart a scientist and the letters after my name say so too. I do not believe you get anywhere by playing stupid games and trying to manipulate the public as a whole.

In the past I thought I would be helping the progress of mankind through computing, astronomy or our understanding of animals to the point that everyone realises that through animals we can understand our own planet.. You should read my theories on that ... oh yeah I never got to publish that book! Lol.

Animals have behaviours and they also have paths. These paths can leave traces that go back hundreds or thousands of years. I spotted them a long time ago and then I saw evidence that other scientists had in fact spotted this. I saw it in Europe while I read that others spotted it in Costa Rica. It showed that the planet was not only warming up but that it had been doing this a very, very long time indeed. Many I spoke to about this realised that this was about global warming and that many of the scientists fighting each other for TV space over this had gotten it wrong. They could be right in part but on the whole they got it wrong.

A great many I have spoken to over the years now believe this is why there was a sudden name change from 'global warming' to 'climate change'. What activists wanted to change was not a bad idea at all ... it just had only a very weak link to global warming and they had not considered the consequences if they had their wishes granted.

Many only view the battle before them but never stand back and see the whole war. This results in a great many eggs all being piled into a giant basket. A giant basket that could end up being the wrong one and have very dire consequences for getting it wrong.

These things take time, effort, money and resources and if you use them all up building one big basket you have no material left to build another basket of the first one in the wrong type.

What you have had is so many wanting to make a name for themselves they would simply grasp the first straws they could reach and tell you it is wheat, when really it was all chaff.

Many other before me and many famous ones too have all striven to change things and to change attitudes. Some have succeeded while others have fallen by the wayside. Those that fall result in us being held back. But still there are those that would come forward with similar plights and still they would do everything in their power to succeed.

Why do we do this?

Maybe it is because deep in our psyche that we know we will return? Maybe those that were not happy with things wanted them resigned to the history books on their next tour of duty?

Why did life and animals evolve? Why are we the only ones that have been able to leave the planet? I often ask myself even as an expert on animals why all these forms of life would evolve when one day the sun will burn out and all life will end? What is the ultimate purpose for life to exist? Why would life appear only to die? If the soul lives on do we come back again in the body of humans or is it possible we could come back as animals? I bet native Americans have one or two things to say about that last comment?

But for all our progress and the years since space travel and exploration started we are currently at the stage were, literally, a handful of people live just outside the atmosphere ... in over sized bean tins. We have just managed to film and photograph what we thought was the outermost planet in our solar system except now we know there is a bloody shed load more we know nothing about. Now we have another, as they call it, true planet five times the mass of our own planet swinging way out on the solar systems edges before swinging back in. Now they find another one that is moving in the opposite direction around the sun than every single other object and on a different plane too?! We know more about planets around other stars than we do some of our own.

The life of our sun is not in any way infinite and how much longer it lasts us is all estimated guesses at best. We simply do not know. The sun's expected ending or even just sudden evolving is not the only threat to life on Earth and there is a list.

Nature has its reason fr life to have evolved and it was not meant to just die needlessly so it was meant to continue on. That means we have to expand beyond our own planet and onto others and the most likely in another star system very far from here. Otherwise what would be the point? There has to be a point. Doesn't there?

I think that very question that man started to ask is likely how religions came about in the first place? To make some sense and meaning into our own existence? This is what I firmly believe.

So do we have something that could be perceived as a soul? Most likely. Can we make sense of it? Definitely, no. We may do .. one day.

Maybe one day we can get rid of naivety on a large scale and get rid of other things that come attached with human nature that are not that pretty? The things about us we do or think about that we do not like in ourselves?

Fortunately change and progress comes with possessing both wisdom and knowledge. Unfortunately these attributes are not widely spread. Maybe one day they will be and the world and the society within it will become a very different place?

I wonder if each country realised that Earth was going to become inhabitable and each built a fully operational rocket ship to head out to the stars ... would they travel together in a large fleet or would they all head out in opposite directions to get away from each other?

I wonder if anyone will ever get the hidden meaning within the question I just posed?

Physicists Claim that Consciousness Lives in Quantum State After Death http://flip.it/kIVeSn

JUNIORS, ON YOUR BIKE

Well here we go again with more talk about junior Doctors and their plights...sorry...strikes.

Strikes or plights, it really matters not. What I keep reading about and hearing about is the pressures the amount things are stretched, the hours ... etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

I see in this particular report that the British Medical Association is mentioned?

Now I thought I had contacted absolutely everyone involving the health service in my long fight battle? But I simply can't remember contacting the BMA but I must have done.

I'm also sure they was mentioned to me very recently regarding something to do with the whole corruption in the NHS ... umm ... thing.

The one thing I never ... EVER ... read about in any of these plights in the health service is putting a stop to ask the lying that's is going on to patients by Doctors and Specialists?

I mean it's not just me you know. One lady fit a Doctor struck off a free years back by recording him. He told her to go kill herself and even have her web addresses to look up how to do it. It was Liverpool or somewhere but far from there? I have recorded Good knows how many lies, falsification of medical evidence, reports, ultrasound results and other things. I recently had comments on one of my blogs from someone else doing the same thing.

Now someone eventually contacting me or leaving comments that had done the exact same or very similar to me I had long predicted.

Another thing I had long predicted is that I would set off hundreds of boot thousands of people don't the exact same things I had done? Might not have happened yet, unless the lady in the Liverpool area fit her ideas from my blogs? It might have been two or three years ago but my blog had already had several thousand people or more buy then.

Can't remember whether I was told by someone that it was the BMA or GMC, General Medical Council, who protected Doctors from getting caught red handed? Maybe it was both? Can't remember.

Sorry after story after report after report about the hardships of public service staff. Fuck all after fuck all after nada after zilch of anything about how the public have been led on, fooled, lied to and left to die, suffer or both.

Yet the troubles of the NHS have been in report after report though none are code to the truth and the wicked lies being told.

Well if all these bad things are going on in the NHS then patients are suffering. So where are the stories of the dozens, if not hundreds of patients and their plights?

I wonder how l long before people notice something about mainstream news media and everyone realises that everyone's position has become untenable?

More importantly it's not time that should be counted until the truth will out but the numbers of people who have died and the number of people who have suffered and for how long.

That clock just keeps on ticking. The time passing guarantees everything will be far worse than it initially would have been.

Junior doctors strike: Calls for fresh industrial action - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-37056306

LABOUR NEVER LEARNS

I have this theory about those that get voted into power..

.. they lose whatever common sense they had left.

I don't take that much notice of politics and probably don't go much beyond the surface. Not in what is reported at any rate.

This is because all we get is shit, they all lie and we all know it and the journalists ask all the wrong questions, some of which everybody knows damn well they won't answer. I have a theory on that too ..

If you have several minutes to fill don't ask the questions you should be asking which you are told not to, ask the ones that produce absolutely zero. Everyone is happy, except for the couple of million people that are not idiots and can't seem to understand why no one else can see what they do.

I might be being very generous here stating that there might be a couple of million that are not naive? There certainly seems to be a strong suggestion that 99% plus are?

But this remains to be seen.

I find it utterly amazing that the Labour party had gone all the way to the high court and beyond to stop is own members, or in other words supporters, from voting in their leadership fight.

They are still acting like politicians of old, refusing to change while starting that they have and still intend to. It's still dirty tricks within a political party against its own people.

What they are effectively saying here and telling the country and the world is that they only want the voters that will decide the way a small group wants then to.

It flies in the face of democracy which is quite laughable considering how the big parties are always using the word 'democracy' and even 'true democracy' for God knows how many years. This is not that.

This is doing themselves no favours at all with anyone that has heard of these court fights. It tells everyone they haven't learned, they are no different to the party they were before which is no different to the party currently in power.

It remains to be seen if Theresa May acts as good as she peaches. It remains to be seen whether or not the government can stop the blatantly inhumane actions going on at the DWP towards people with disabilities and that includes people who suffer from mental health problems.

That's step number one and if you want people to think you stand by your convictions then you had better act fast.

Delays with the excuses that these things take time no longer stands. It's gotten so old and become so long that you expect people to believe it's not possible to implement these things within one ... term. So five years.

It seems like David Cameron had been around forever and yet he has gone and the welfare system is in a complete mess and has been for about four years.

The welfare system also needs an award that needs to be given by some international body. The public service most inhumane to their fellow human beings.

Every single person that works within the DWP needs to go and be banned from ever working for a public body ever again. A lifetime ban.

Because of you don't and won't deal with the real criminals in all this then you need to make not one of two examples but dozens of them. This way no person would ever be stupid enough to carry out actions that are illegal or inhumane or both.

I have one name that was a probe example of needing to be punished. She was not in any way interested in the truth even though the words she spoke made it sound like she was.

They were within their right to refuse to come to Enfield at my request but now have to come to Enfield anyway to attend a court hearing. Only this time they are wasting thousands, of not trends of thousands, of pounds of the British taxpayers money to save a fiver in petrol?

Where is your superior intelligence now to argue hire this is saving money when it is clearly the opposite?

This, of course, was refusing to accept a dozen medical documents for an incurable condition I've now proved I've had over fourteen years because the documents we too old?!

They will probably use one I sent them as an excuse for this as it was dated 2003. All the others were between 2011 and 2014. For an incurable condition which added an up to date GP letter stating I still had it, though it's incurable so shouldn't need to.

I bet they suggest to the court that all the documents were dated around 2003? Sorry if thing they would do to, had it before. There insinuated they had asked me to attend five assessments recently.

It was a lie in two regards. One is that they did not ask me five times recently and was only once.

On the second one ... well I was asked for times about five years back but when requested they agreed to do a home visit. Except they failed to appear at each and every one. Until a couple months back nothing more was said about it.

Except now they are saying I failed to turn up at five assessments which as you can see simply is not true.

How come public services seen to be the only ones that think they are allowed to be dishonest but the public there are laid to serve are treated or declared nation wide criminal types when they lie?

This country is the most despicable piece of crap I've ever had the misfortune to witness.

I would take voluntary euthanasia than put up with twenty years of their crap again.

I mean that.

Part of the reason that having a possible brain tumour if not bothering my anywhere near much as it should is that too me i might actually get to flick ask the switches off?!

I mean to say that every single piece of crap, garbage, nagging, bullying, fining and trickery that covers my way via corrupt public and private organisations can just be switched off.

Peace at last.

I might actually get to sleep properly fit once too as after spending years telling half a dozen Doctors I don't sleep properly there now seems the possibility that my seizures might be down to narcolepsy?!

I couldn't believe it when I read it recently. I was totally unaware that Narcolepsy can cause a seizure or seizures. It also states that you fall asleep during the day at unusual times and I do, do that.

Now I had thought that Narcolepsy was when people suddenly feel asleep while talking to people or doing something? That had not happened to me... yet. Turns out that's just one thing Narcolepsy can cause.

I'm also very tired all the time and this is up and down. Right now and fit the last three days this has been down.

So yeah, if Theresa May is serious about improving the country and dues not include making innocent people suffer as well as physically post for it she had better show it.

I find some job positions crazy and always have along with their ridiculous salaries.

I also knew that when things went badly wrong that their careers and salaries would prove bit too be sustainable. I also knew that before they accepted this they would make others, and mainly the poor, suffer very badly. This would be for a very long time before they took the action they should have taken right at the start.

The Labour Party certainly haven't learnt a damn thing which does not bode well for Theresa May.

Labour leadership: Party wins appeal against voting rules - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-37057589

THE DIRTY TRUTH

There is something that I have forgotten to mention that I just got reminded by as I was telling a friend I have not spoken to in ages what has happened to me lately.

He was still reeling from the blackouts, full on seizure, cancelling my Incapacity Benefit, cancelling my housing payments, the neurology appointments, upcoming scan, looking after someone's animals for nearly six weeks, missing a wedding, colonoscopy coming up and whatever else things I have forgotten right now?

I then forgot to tell him about the anxiety attacks and that leading to the loss of the use of my legs!

What I have forgotten to mention on here is that a brother mentioned to me that he had heard of loads of people losing their benefits. But that I later realised he did not know anyone so I asked him about this.

As it turns out .... he said that at his Ford showroom and like many others they provide a lot of people with mobility cars. One day one person came in to warn them they would miss a payment because their money had been unfairly cancelled. He went on to state that after that first one they were then inundated with more people saying the exact same thing and had not seen anything like it.

He thought that this was just an inhumane and dirty trick for the government to make it look in the house of commons like they were getting the welfare bill down. Obviously must be having one coming up in the next three months?

When I text my mate he replied and said that he had heard of this happening to loads off people in Waltham Abbey, the Ford showroom is St Albans I believe so pretty much nation wide. He told me of a story of one lady who had, had hers taken away and she thought it was something to do with an ex-boyfriend. So she made a report about her ex's mother who then lost her car and the crap hit the fan.

He then text me a picture they took from a newspaper that had an article about assessments going on, on disabled people in Croydon where the assessments were on the first floor and wheelchair bound people were not allowed to use the lifts, quoting health and safety reasons.

Whenever you talk to these idiots that are actually very patronising and most of the time anyone would think they belong to some higher calling or more advanced life-form, David Icke cough-cough?

Do any of these idiots in the UK government and public services not understand how the Internet works? Still?!

Ahh apparently the newspaper is The Daily Star and titled "Wheely, Wheely Stupid"

He tells me a friend of his wife's who has Fibromyalgia and more or less bed bound was told by assessors that she could work and do a job of a Gym Instructor?! LMFAO?! This message came through via voice message and he was roaring with laughter as he explained it.

So yeah ... that was what I had forgotten.

Not only have the made the attack on disabled people so obvious by going for soo many at once but they have been coming up with the most ludicrous reasons and statements for this.

AND THEN THERE WAS NONE

Well they have named a new person to chair the child sex abuse inquiry. Someone called Alexis Jay.

The first thing I thought about on reading this was a question ... how long before she resigns?

I then wondered if there would be anyone else that would dare take the job with so many people resigning? I mean there must be a point where no one else would take it on?

I'm also asking myself why this has not really appeared in the mainstream news? I mean, it's fine beyond fiasco now and there must be some very, very powerful people who are guilty and scaring the hell out of the ones that already quit?

I bet though all your hearing about in the mainstream news though is the fucking Olympic Games in Brazil? Because that's so much more important that children being abused in every which way and probably murdered too?

I also ask myself how long it will be before foreign media latch on to all this in the UK and go to it with gusto?

I mean you think it would have to happen, right? There must be a country out there that does not like us, probably a few more with Brexit?

I'm rather surprised Russia Today had not grabbed this one, though I know very little about the news group to be honest.

The fact is that if this is ever picked up by an outside news group they will have a field day. Also the number of failures along the way would keep any news media group busy for months.

Hmm I just had a thought. Maybe all these meetings they have overseas has something to do with offering perks so news groups in other countries don't report on certain stories?

Well that is asking with agreeing to sell other countries faulty and returned crap as new in the UK?

These conversations must go on at times, wouldn't you agree?

I fear for children everywhere lately and with this ... slowly becoming widely known, the child abuse, you would think from here on in anyone would be shit scared now to give up their children?!

Imagine being in a terrible predicament to give up a child but have to consider all these dark and heinous things not only going on but being avoided reporting on as if doing so would object you with a modern version of the plague?

Let's see what happens this time around?

Alexis Jay named new chairwoman of abuse inquiry - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37043545

THE DRAGGING DAYS

Oh boy, I really do not know what is wrong with me lately.

I feel so bloody tired and to do anything takes a monumental effort from me.

I have had my Neurology appointment, awaiting a scan at the Royal Free Hospital.

Got a letter for an appointment yesterday morning for an appointment in 2017?! I first thought this was the colonoscopy appointment I was waiting for. Turned out to be another Neurology appointment and must be a follow up to the scan I have to have at Royal Free Hospital. I think I stated I was told I was not epileptic and I told the Doctor/Specialist that I knew this already? I had to have some blood tests yesterday too for the same thing I also planned to see a friend. Got the bike out flat back tyre. Pumped it up, now had to go to Halfords and get another slime tube. Went there. Got that slime tube and had to buy another air pump as the one I got would not work with Schraeder valves. Was going to get bus up to hospital and realised while I was out I had left my Freedom Pass at home?! Went home, took back wheel off and inner tube out and then realised I had the wrong inner tube, Presta valve. Used another inner tube I was sure had a leak still as I thought I had failed to repair it. Now back on bike and back to Halfords. Did not have the right inner tube so had to make one for me. Told me it would be cheaper but actually cost me £1.50 more. Back to bike and tyre still inflated? Huh, that is weird. Up to hospital … noticed half of hospital was missing. After blood tests back to see friend at his store, got something to drink but was too late and now feeling … well, fucked. So went on to other friend's house to feed his animals and clean a couple out. Found his female tortoise was really ill, wondered about what to do. Text my friend, owner, in Crete about it. Watched Quatermass & The Pit while I was there. No answer from friend so went home.

Jesus! One bloody day!

Lately nothing good ever happens. It is also becoming the norm too! What with everything I have seemingly happening to me these days are simply not on!

Got home felt dizzy and ill while sitting on sofa. Got down on the floor and laid there for a while going from my side to my back. Felt sleep as I normally do late afternoons but this was with feeling sick on top. Went upstairs to y bed and the next thing I knew it had gone from around 6 or 7pm to midnight!

Got up next day feeling fucked.

Decided to go to friend's store but he was not chatty at all. So I decided to leave him in peace and I went to get some stain remover for clothes I have been forgetting to get for around 8 weeks, was shocked when I stopped and realised how long I had been forgetting it. Also some washing up liquid I had been forgetting for like a month.

Actually finally got them.

Drag, drag, drag or loads and loads of crap. This is all my days consist of lately. Two family members that had been ringing me fairly regularly have stopped, one on holiday and the other one God knows where.

I am feeling so tired all the time.

Got to contact Eon Energy and make a payment to them and give them an explanation as I keep forgetting to pay them. This is why I did not want to look after anyone's house and pets while they was away. One week would cause me problems enough but we are talking about 5.5 weeks, and yes that is five and a half weeks.

Hmm I just coughed. Oddly I started to have this cough as of yesterday and the funny thing is a I rarely ever cough, do not often get coughs even when I have contracted a cold from somewhere. I then remembered yesterday that I was asked if I had a cough by the specialist/Doctor. The answer art the time was a 'no' but now I do have one.

I have had no answer to either of my two emails about my rent payments from Enfield Council.

Considering what the news of the possibility of being homeless did to me I do not appreciate their usual time wasting.

I already have a court hearing that will take place a half a mile from my house because the DWP refused to come to my house which is an awful waste of time and the taxpayers money and I will be bloody well stamping that down with gusto at the hearing I attend.

They did all that and for what? Because they would not get off their arses to get to someone who is disabled so now they have to come to the place they initially refused to come to anyway? To attend a hearing? Yeah that makes perfect fucking sense.

They will have the audacity to speak to me like I am an idiot and when they do I will rip them a new hole so big they would be able to drive a car through it. They wont dare do the same to their next intended victim.

You see when I get like I am, no energy, blacking out every five minutes, cannot get things done and keep forgetting other things I start to get angry. I have told enough people about this and no one seems to even take note, let alone give a shit.

Lie giving a shit when it comes to salaries of hundreds of thousands of pounds though, don't they?

But you see there comes a time when things become … inevitable. I have had a couple of people now mention to me that they realise that the NHS and the government do not give a shit whether people are dying or not as long as they are saving money. I was also told it wont ever change? I say that is not entirely correct. It might seem like it wont change for a fair old while but it will.

Because as they rightly have realised people are dying and before long there will be numbers so great that not even the news media that seemed to have been bought off or silenced somehow cannot ignore any longer. Oh they will make some excuse of how they missed it or clearly state how it was kept hidden from view up until the point that they reported it but it will not be correct. When this does occur, and it will, there will be no stopping it.

Despite how horrific the Harold Shipman revelation was this will dwarf it in ways no one could have ever imagined.

I was in the hospital for my Neurology appointment and I got the time wrong, do not know if I mentioned that? I got there are 12.15pm and the appointment was not until 2pm, yup … more shit.

When I eventually re-emerged at the correct time I found myself in a different part of the hospital form earlier on, but one I had been to before twice so was familiar with. I sat there for twenty minutes and it was lie a ghost ridden deserted old hospital! There was not a single person around at all and I could have wandered in and out of different clinics without being spotted. Yet when I saw the specialist she remarked as if they were inundated. I wondered whether or not her patients were all deceased as there was no one outside. This was because a nurse came in with a file and the specialist or Doctor said “Another one?” Odd.

Other parts of the hospital seemed normal … well apart from the large areas that had been demolished and I wondered if they had sold off large sections of the hospital to property developers? From what I could see, or rather could not see, was the the old Accident & Emergency, Maternity building and Chase Building seemed to have gone, probably along with others? Their were two or three of those large cranes that tower upwards around 100 feet or more. There used to be a one way road that went right around the hospital grounds but this was bordered off by tall blue solid steel walls right where the carp park ended. Before you get to the old A&E.

I was also a bit surprised when I was told I had to go to Royal Free Hospital … again. I had to go there about three years for an Electromyography or Nerve Conduction Study.

Huh, I just realised as that was requested by Neurology at Chase Farm Hospital and I was then discharged without warning after being given the definite impression by Royal Free Hospital, and I have that recording of course, that I would be seen again and that the guy I was under, Dominick Mort, would find out what was wrong with me?! Lol!

Jesus … if I die I might be the very patient that brings down the NHS?! I kept telling them there was something wrong but just like they always do act like they not only know better but have x-ray vision. This was what I used to call it, the x-ray vision attitude. That was before I then realised I was being deliberately messed about and suspected I was being lied to. I had this for several years before I even started recording them all. I have also been recording them all for around … I cannot recall five to seven years. I did not just decide to record them out of the blue … I had to realise first I had in fact been lied to and then record them. After all it would be madness to approach anyone and just state that all NHS Doctors are lying to a vast majority of their patients. No I could not do that … I would have to not record them doing this one or twice over a few months. No, I would have to do this dozens of times over several years and that is what I did.

The only thing is I sent this off with other stuff to the tabloids and TV news groups and I got nothing, nada, zilch and a zero just to top it all off. There was only one reason I would get no responses from all of the news media. It had to be corrupt too.

Someone recently realised how much I had and how much I had done and for how long. He asked if I sent anything off to the media and I said, hell yeah! Well .. in a round about way, lol.

After this I realised there was only one other way I could fight this and get the message out there … I started to blog.

It has still taken an inordinate amount of time though!

Still … I am currently a damn site closer to the end than I am to the beginning! Truly a damn site closer as I have been working on this for about 8 years coming up. Maybe more?

Maybe I have slowly burnt out? Maybe that and with a quick succession of things going on around now and the weather seemingly working against me I am just become a burnt out shell?

What worries me in times like this is having the energy to carry on.

Hopefully that energy may return someday?

It even occurred to be while out today that I should try some multi-vitamin pills? Jesus I would try anything just about now and I even remembered what someone told me the effect a certain drug had on people and I was thinking, hell I could do with that right now?!

My legs have been aching like crazy too. It feels like I have run a marathon and am still in my first or second day of recuperating?

I had a call from my friend's daughter and she reminded me how we still had twenty days of looking after the animals before my friend, her father, returns! Great, I really needed reminding of that! Lol.

I wondered is she and her boyfriend was feeling it too as somehow my friend managed to make sure someone was at the house every single day when only every other day was needed. Do not even get me started! Lol.

Maybe I will come out of this and hopefully soon? I hope it does not linger on for the next twenty days?! I am not sure what will be left of me.

I still have the council to sort out and hopefully they wont call me into that Royal Free Hospital appointment too soon? Oh yeah and I suppose the hearing could end up being arranged within the next couple weeks too?

Good God man! Does no one know the meaning of the term 'time out!'?

Oh well, have to keep soldiering on I guess?

This is partly why I have slowed down in my posts .. all of this and I never thought it would affect my posting on my blogs.

A BANG ON THE RADIO'S HEAD

I am listening to music again.

Or at least I have listened to the same album around four times, I think it is?

Found myself going back to Lakeside to return some suits, I did not end up wearing mine, and this time I remembered there as an album I had intended to buy the day it came out. I didn't.

Those that had read recent posts as well as those that keep coming back over long periods of time will know that I stopped listening to my cherished music. I lost the urge. To do almost anything … other than dragging my arse out of bed to a boring life that now seemed doomed.

My DAB alarm clock going off was the only hint of music in my life, both literally and metaphorically speaking.

I could not find the album, despite knowing exactly what the cover looked like, but my brother did. Then I had it, Radiohead's A Moon Shaped Pool was in my hand! Would I be calm enough for the coming weeks and months to enjoy it and listen to it enough times?

I ripped the album as soon as I got back to the house and then let the album play from beginning to end while I did a few searches.

I had heard the first track in my brothers car some days beforehand and I liked it and after a couple more listens loved it. An odd title of 'Burn The Witch' and I had seen a video that was a cross of Camberwick Green and The Wicker Man.

The next rack played and called Daydreaming and I liked that too.

I even liked the following and third track, Decks Dark.

The fourth track called Desert Island Disk was mellow and smoothly melodic to the point of almost trance inducing, yes I know when I should listen to that one next, or what state I should be in.

The fifth track called Ful Stop and deliberately misspelled is a lot more attention grabbing and heavier than the first four tracks. Struck me as being good enough to use as a intro track on a very good movie.

If there is a weal track on this album then it would be the sixth track which also happens to be the shortest track on the entire album of 11 songs.

Identikit is the seventh song presented here and this is a somewhat hypnotic, spiralling and with a catchy bass beat that made me thinking of Thom Yorke spinning. Someone complained there was no guitars so they obviously did not get to track 7. What sounds like a guitar to me is used to great effect here and has almost sounds of Mike Oldfield from his very early days.

The sound of the whole album goes back up to the peak of the very first track, Burn The Witch, when we get around the track eight, The Numbers.

At this point I thought that there could not be many, if any, people not liking this album and even given it an average to low score. But sure enough there were which had me scratching my head. I had a great track with the first one and again with the eight one and not really a single bad one from one to the other. Even with my love for Radiohead it rarely goes this well and my head spins to another beat that could be fitting on a classically good movie.

With the ninth track, Present Tense, I do get possibly now the weakest out of the ninth tracks, not bad and great background music, just weaker than the previous tracks.

The track at position nine and claims the longest title on the album by far and maybe the longest title ever is Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief Baker & Candlestick Maker … wait? I got carried away, the title stops with 'Thief', lol. Eleven words in the title. Nice track and has kind of a note of haunting.

The eleventh and last track is True Love Waits and here I get the weakest track of all.

But when I look back I have some great tracks, eight very good and two OK tracks and I realise I get ten songs I liked which beats the previous The King Of Limbs which only had eight.

To think I was supposed to be out photographing and filming British Wildlife today. I did manage to get two miles but it felt cold and there was a wind. So I changed my mind, came home … nearly did one of my odd nodding off moments while profusely sweating. Felt like I was starting to violently shake as I was almost asleep and snapped out of it.

So I did a few things to wake myself up, came back to the PC and played A Moon Shaped Pool and typed this out.

Now I need to drag my other second bike out and go and get some food … and some tobacco!

Something a little different for a blog that normally exposes corruption in the public services and private companies with an array of links to secretly recorded audio?

I should be typing out a post about receiving my acknowledgement about an appeal to have a case heard in court, DWP, and the outcome (only partial) of my appointment at Chase Farm Hospital which has already taken place and the can they will do on my head at Royal Free Hospital at some point.

Oddly the Doctor or specialist looked surprised when she told me she did not think I was epileptic, from the seizure and blackouts I had been having, and I said neither did I and had ruled it out? I guess maybe she was impressed with my deduction?

Some deductions are extremely easy, even it needing a little research.

You simply compare the notes and throw any theory to one side that contains .. discrepancies and once you are left with the ones that for perfectly you are left with your conclusion.

LMAO.