THE LINE OF DUST BITERS

Well I have to say .. yet again ..

They are always managing to surprise me, every single last one of them. All the public services leaving aside the Ambulance Service and the Fire Service.

This time it is once again the NHS .. but this time it has something of a little twist to it.

Another NHS Trust only ..

This one is the King's College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust?!

Saaaay whaaaat?!

OK .. that one is a shocker!

Well the only thing that could have surprised me as much as that is .. Guy's Hospital or St Thomas' Hospital being involved. A hospital, the former not the latter, that I was involved with and had a letter from the omitted a lot of things that were said and done at the actual hospital appointment.

But . this was not the first time. Nor the second, third, fourth of fifth.

At this rate we are going to have veritable mountains of corpses of public services gone rotten, corrupt or just plain failing dying a slow death or dead already.

I could never say I was surprised at this as I first suspected it over then years ago. I then spent several years realising it was pretty much everywhere. My own research was over 6 GP Surgeries and the same amount of hospitals with the same result 100% of the time. Even though it was unlikely to remain at 100% of a countrywide investigation was done it would not drop by a great deal, that I would bet on.

But even of this was to drop to 50% the reality would be one that we would spend decades trying to live down. Or at least the politicians and their puppeteers would with the latter wondering just how many people were no investigating to try and find out who they are and expose them.

All the time only giving a crap about themselves and not a jot to what they have done to Great Britain and a large portion of it's people, that who for me .. are what makes Great Britain, Great Britain.

Except the previously halo has no slipped down to a point where it physically rests on one shoulder and is in danger of falling off altogether!

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: Major NHS trust put in special measures - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-42304490

OH HERE WE GO

It just had to happen.

I'm voting leave because successive governments have been putting the knife in, metaphorically speaking, to the disabled, mental health and unemployed.

They have done this secretly where even Doctors have been blind to it and many still are. This had been going on around 6 to 8 years and it's still happening today.

The Labour Party only had one organisation picking disabled people at random, railroading them and sticking it to them. It might be less than now but was still wrong, immoral, inhuman and illegal.

The Conservative Party via David Cameron stated he would make things fairer just after he got in and started this to the Citizen's Advice Bureau. David Cameron welched on his promise and likely did many others, add per usual each and every time someone is voted in as Prime Minister. Only the broken promises are first given after getting in these days as well as before they do.

So I've been led to believe that hundreds of millions go to Europe each day, week, whatever it was. The same people stated that British people should be out first. Hell, if be happy for just a true fair system with a level playing field ... except you couldn't get further from it currently.

I've also been slowly discovering that Europe does not give a crap about vulnerable British people either. The one thing they are investigating, that I alluded to, dies bit finish until 2017 which is far too late for many victims among other things like the referendum.

So it seemed obvious that if we left then they would stop twisting the proverbial knife and perhaps remove it completely?

That seemed to be the gist of it.

Only now some group or other is now claiming the exact opposite?!

Erm ... how does the maths work on that? Oh ... they failed to provide any, how typical?

I was hoping that along with myself the majority would vote to leave to and that I could see things improving as they stated and as saving hundreds of millions per day/week/month. If they didn't then I can rip the shit out of them just as I have done many others for the past four years.

But now they want to state this will happen anyway?

Let's see if there is a rebuttal in the coming days because those that claimed that if we left we would have all this cash we works be better off will likely be pretty pissed after reading what was reported being said?

I would wager extremely pissed!

Let's wait and see?

Reality Check: What have rating agencies said about Brexit? - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-eu-referendum-36446479

QUESTIONABLES AND REVOLUTIONS

I found this site a while ago that has someone also complaining about Atos, hmm didn't check the date it was posted ...huh, four years ago.

http://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/forum1?view=topic&catid=10&id=60266

Four years ago many were already complaining about Atos and the DWP, instead they were wrongly blaming it all on Atos and not realising the DWP were directing them to trick and cheat us while they still get paid!

I find that soooo hilarious!

Anyway it is on a website that is supposed to help with benefits and crap but when she said whe was going to post the complaint the site said that it was not appropriate to publish an ongoing complaint?

Not appropriate for who?

I think I have to give a word of warning here that you have to be very, very careful about what websites you turn to for help and advice as many of them will be the enemies your up against!

I know this because I once frequented a forum about these things after being physically attacked, they came out worse off, and then defrauded by bailiffs.

Yeah they look great on TV don't they? Tell you they obey the rules and the law when nothing could be further from the truth! TV is another thing that needs a kick up the effing arse!

No well what they don't show you on TV is that they attack you, take £6,000 worth of stuff, actually sell one single item for £2,800 have one other worth at least £600 to £700 leaving still three items and tell you they got £735 for the whole lot! LMAO!

Yes siree I have all the documents to that and I posted some on the forum I mentioned above, next thing I get a call from a woman called Sheila, after someone asks me for my number to pass it along. I am then told I have the biggest case they have ever seen, few phone-calls over couple months. Hand over details to a witness and copies, COPIES, of the documents and the next thing you know both the woman helping me, after some abysmal excuses, the witness and the woman both vanish.

Even the shop that built my £4,400 bike were I met the witness did not know where he had vanished to!

Meaning it could only be that she worked for them.

That site was called the Consumer Action Group and I have had lots of people complain to me about some very odd things about that site and whenever someone brought up a concern they would get banned from the site!

Weird, is it not?

The other problem is having all these sites in the first place ... everyone is divided up instead of together, speaking as one!

That is either just plain stupid ... or a cunning plan?

I have ofte told groups campaigning for different things that they too need to act as one and band together but they are not interested.

Maybe its a God complex things, someone ends up in charge or a leader of sorts and the power trip goes to their heads.

Kind of contrasts greatly with me trying to get groups or people to work together, don't you think?

After all I have never put in anything that makes it look like I want you to join my gang!

I also think its very clear to everyone I don't give a flying ... scotsman about publishing absolutely anything!

Maybe that is what I should do? Tell people they can publish what they want here?

It also got me wondering how many people there are out there?

I mean how many people have complaints? How many people have been booted in the nether regions in the most inhumane way?

I then started thinking about percentages and asked myself what percentage of people you need before you have a revolution?

I mean the country is ran like crap, surely everyone must see that that is not blind or stupid?

It is obvious with each passing day that more and more is corrupt, nothing but lies and despite being servants to the people are more interested in their own jobs, salaries and careers (if you can call them that) in lying and cheating?

Would that percentage have to be over fifty percent?

Close to fifty percent?

Fifty percent of a specific group?

I never really thought about it before. I wonder if I should now go off and research the first ten revolutions in history?

Well the numbers have been going up for a very long time and will continue to go up for a very long time to come.

I am starting to wonder if I might actually see a revolution in the UK in my own bloody lifetime?!

Weird feeling, that.

THE DYSTOPIAN VISION

Me being into all the things I am, sciences, animals, computers, orchids and everything technological, it should be naturally assumed that I am always thinking of possibilities.

One possibility that just about everyone should be thinking about is the future but when I do that I get a really horrible shudder down my spine and then wonder why, as I would not be here to endure it.

We are heading in the wrong direction. That much has been perfectly clear to me for well over a decade and it took me several years to figure out why.

During that long period of figuring out why the situation has gotten progressively worse.

I am a science fiction fan and I always like movies about the possible future we might have and some of these are Utopian ... almost like ... hmm say Star Trek ... trying to think of a better example, or they are Dystopian. Like Mad Max.

Star Trek usually conveys a better future whereby they even state there is no such thing as money any more, suggesting that in time we realised had bad and evil it was to make everything revolve around that? It also suggests that without it we progress a lot faster and further as a society. Or societies?

Funny then that the films are so popular but that it seems to be accepted today that lying and cheating is just the way it is?

Considering everything that I myself alone have exposed which type of future do you think we are heading for? A Utopian, meaning heaven like, or Dystopian, meaning hell like?

If your one that accepts the way things are today but thinks we will still reach some form of Utopia ... how do you think that? Do you think that magically one day everyone will just wake up and stop?

The people have to stop it, quite simply.

It wont take any one person, like me for instance. No matter how smart I am or what abilities I have one single person can not do it on their own. Well ... at least I do not think so. Maybe if there was someone like me with limitless resources?

I don't have limitless resources and cannot even swing a cat in here without giving it a headache!

Hmm just had a call on an old disused mobile from Capita ... apparently I need to speak to Atos?! Funny as I thought that the news media and Nick DeBois to my face told me they had gone?! It seems like more and more lies on top of old lies. Oh well ...

Sorry distracted there momentarily but seems fitting due to who it was and what it was about.

Yes so it seems that the public offices and many private organisations all deal in lies and deceit these days to a public they think are clueless about it? Or the survive and moronic fanboyism and idolisation because of some item or gadget?

The longer this continues the more it becomes accepted as the way of life and therefore the more it will be adopted by ever more people, organisations and companies.

I do wonder where the influence may come from?

I have think I have said this before but due to children seemingly remembering previous lives as someone else, and even a different gender, I have asked myself if we keep coming back?

I have also stated that if this is the case then I do not want to come back! Not with the future we are currently heading for! Who in the right mind, other than the devil's minions, would want to come back to this? Imagine it further down the road to getting worse? Remember you have to add at least 20 years to reach adulthood? If you get half decent parents and you make it of course!

It boggles the mind and anyone scientific minded and all scientists must sit there at home, see, read and hear about all this and ask themselves the exact same questions?

It it was like a future in Star Trek I could not wait to comer back! If it was like Mad Max ... well there would be no governments, taxes, wan... I mean public services to hound you for cash you dont have or the cash they just gave you to live, lol.

But imagine a world worse than that depicted in Mad Max films but where the Wolves still exist but are ten times worse? Turn up at your door and if you do not pay, shoot you in the face? LOL.

I am making jokes about it but really deep down it does feel like it will be that way.

I wonder if you get a choice whether to come back ... or where? I would never choose the UK in a million years!

I would choose probably America, Australia, Scandinavia ... just about anywhere other than here!

Nowhere were the obsessed with deities either! So parts of America are out then? Lol.

But then maybe in the future many people might have woken up? Here's hoping.

YE OLD WOOD MONOLOGUE

Wow, what a nice day it turned out to be.

I went out on my bike and immediately got annoyed. Turned north on the A10 and a wind hit me that was quite cool. A bit too cool.

Then the sun disappeared.

I then decided that the Dragonfly reserve was not going to happen. I was feeling awkward in the seat immediately, due to recent health issues, and thought about putting the bike back and going up by bus. But it was two buses and I would rather do it that way a lot earlier in the morning.

So I went to what I call The Old Wood.

I also had the new camera stabilizer attached to my Kata camera backpack. I could not get the Velbon EX-Macro tripod to attach anywhere and after a bit of messing about I decided to leave it.

But that is not what I purchased thee tripod for, it was meant go out out each and every time so I will have to sort something out and may have done while I was out.

The camera stabilizer fits on your shoulder and I put it on my right shoulder. Thinking about it now I had some issues with having the Kata on my back at the same time. Maybe if I tried switching to my left shoulder with the stabilizer it would have worked better?

The Kata backpack is also switchable and you can have it on either shoulder. With a little messing about as there are two shoulder straps. You can have both on like a normal backpack or either one which attaches to the opposite side at the bottom. Turning it into a sling bag for either shoulder.

I attached my Nikon P900 to the shoulder but I left off the two extra pieces that extend the camera both up and out. More out than up with one and more up than out with the second one.

Worked kinda OK, thought it would be more stable the shorter it was or the closer to my shoulder it was situated? The further the camera was out from my shoulder I had thought the greater the amplification would be of my shoulder to the camera's movements?

Kinda did.

Had a slight problem seeing the screen … properly at least. I could see the picture but could not quite see if things were in focus.

After the first couple of trial runs and shots I then realised if I just added toe shorter of the two extensions that is more up than out it may work perfectly. I very almost did.

At the same time I switched the camera over to remote mode and pulled out the … um, well remote!

Funny that remote. It can be very hit and miss. Sometimes it takes a couple of presses before you hear the shutter release. At other times it seems to work almost anywhere?!

Oddly it still does not make sense to me. There was no sensor I could find on the camera and could not figure out how the camera receives the infra-red signal. I mean it is a beam of light, there has to be a sensor receiver and 'line of sight' is involved, surely?

I had noted when I was taking the, WRONG, photos of Jupiter and its Galilean moons that the remote seem to work best if placed just in front of the handgrip, so the other side on the right hand side of the camera if your looking at it from behind on a tripod.

Another test I did included the sensor being in the place I mentioned in the previous paragraph, then directly out to the right side of the camera. Then the same out on the left side and one directly beneath the camera but slightly to the right.

I expected half of those tests to work at most but you know it surprised me by working every single time, that is every position you can think of.

Other times it was doggedly stubborn and I cannot fathom why?

Another odd thing is that I was told by two people not to wear the stabilizer because the Police would think I have a gun or rifle and end up getting shot.

Oddly I immediately had a theory to their theory no later than they uttered it.

As I started to walk I seem some Small White Butterflies fluttering about.

Then I saw some Orange Tip Butterflies I hope I managed to catch shots of and some film?

I filmed a couple more times and walked the edge of the field complete with both Sheep and Lambs when I got to the edge of what I refer to as The Old Wood. More Old Small Wood really.

As I had approached and from a distance I saw what looked like an Orange Tip Butterfly patrolling what is literally a 90 degree right turn into the wood. I figured I would hold out there and catch the damned Orange Tip.

I had got to meet a very wet dog a few minutes earlier and hos owner and I rubbed the digs head as he or she passed.

After I was at the corner several minutes a woman came along on a bike.

She spotted the camera stabilizer with camera attached and asked me about it. I explained what it was and how cheap it was, looks like few hundreds pound kit, don't ask me why, but was only around £20. The camera, however, is another matter entirely.

She was fascinated and asked me what I was filming.

I explained I was a wildlife expert and had a YouTube channel and a few blogs.

Then I explained the other blogs.

Then somehow it got onto corruption.

Wyn was her name and she said she knew there were things wrong with the country, you just know things are wrong but not sure how or why.

I told her what I did. I told her what I had done and to whom.

She stood there wide eyed and open mouthed with the occasional turning of the head in horror. I would get the odd question and explain it in detail.

Oh it started with my father and the BBC set up. Yes that one that mysteriously got sent anonymously top my daughter's phone who has subsequently disappeared.

Hmm, I did not get to explain that bit.

She was so glad that she now knew she was right and that I had not only explained it but as she stated, 'at least someone is not giving up, doing something about it and fighting it'.

I explained how many blogs I had, what they were on and more importantly why they all existed and she smiled. She got it.

As a matter of fact she got everything...except the in depth details of the Police and my daughter and now that I remember it, the bailiffs.

We were there likely over an hour.

I even explained how the PHSO was failing and what they obvious intentions were regarding the exploits I had, had with the NHS.

I told her the name of my blog, she asked me why it was called that. I said that I was always called a saint over the years and my nickname online had always been 'allnights'. There are some other reasons I would not get into right now. For another time.

She said that I was a saint and that I was doing it for everyone, 'for the people!' she said at one point. I said that was exactly what I did but over the 7 or 8 years I had no help, money or support form anywhere. She looked disgusted.

I explained how I got the DWP to pay £4,500 into my account and she smiled until I smiled back and said it was supposed to be £45,000. She asked why it was so large and I explained how they illegally stopped my disability money, how that was because I had no … diagnosis but after 13 years of asking I found out what my condition was, then manipulated a Doctor into referring me to Guy's Hospital where my condition of Fibromyalgia, plus my right knee, was confirmed.

Meaning that every single difficulty and every single symptom that I had claimed I suffered from for well over a decade was proved not only positive but dead on the money. I then said that I realised that my GP's and the NHS had known what my issue was for several years before I discovered it.

Her mouth opened wide in a look of disgust and she swung low down with the shock and I thought she was going to drop her bike!

She was on into the Internet and YouTube she said but I think the look on her face she wished she was. She did ask me about the blog and my name.

She said she had no doubt she will be reading about me in the news media … a shame I did not get to explain that to her.

She did say that when she sees politicians and even members of ombudsman on TV stating how they want to do this or want to do that that it is all bullshit. She already hated the BBC, so hearing about my father's death and how they had only previously shamed him falsely on TV she did not doubt at all.

She even punched the air as she stated how she would tell everyone about me and point me out in the TV to people. She has more faith than I do and I only met her for an hour to 90 minutes! Lol.

I told her that this is what I need to happen on my blogs and YouTube channel to be successful in what I am aiming for.

I said that people need to see, read, listen and then tell those that are close to them, those they care about. Their family and friends and this should continue on. They need to react just as she had done.

She said that most people would just give up or not even start, not wanting the hassle of it all and how everyone knows it would be a long journey and a pain in the arse from the get go.

I said that is why it is designed the way it is, this is what they want. Have all these bodies you have to go through each one taking months or even years, PHSO, on end.

She looked stunned as I said that all you have to do to corrupt almost everything is corrupt just one thing … just one body … just one public service … the NHS!

I said that without diagnosis .. no support from DWP and no support from local councils and nothing from anywhere else, like mobility or freedom passes for public transport.

She was a prime example of my target audience. Someone that listens, someone that takes the time to understand. Someone that cares. She will bet telling people about our chat for many months. She even said as much.

I get around 15,000 viewers each month currently … estimated but working out what the numbers each month currently are but will take a month … of course. Lol.

The way it has worked I would estimate that 90% of them are of an amoral tendency, even if they do not show it. Because if I had 15,000 visitors a month like Wyn today my blog would go mental within 6 months! Possibly even a month.

But it never has gone viral. It has grown steadily but nothing has gone viral because I do not think I was getting anywhere near enough people like Wyn.

Here is where I met her and a planned video ended up having a little monologue about the chat I had with Wyn and some details about corruption and the odd teaser of future plans ...

However when I published the data the first time round the numbers were only in the few thousands … not the tens of thousands. So when I published thee recorded data on the NHS recently it may be having a much greater effect, the effect it should have …

These publications …

http://asaintcalledallnights.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/ultimate-breakdown-nhs-corruption.html

http://asaintcalledallnights.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/ultimate-breakdown-nhs-corruption-part-2.html

http://asaintcalledallnights.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/the-screens-of-clues.html

http://asaintcalledallnights.blogspot.co.uk/2016/05/the-supreme-case.html

I explained that no one had threatened to take me to court no matter how much I publish and she said I sounded like the sort of man that would not be taken down that easily. I said that I had built up a pretty good line of defence and was even doing this at the time we were speaking.

She smiled.

If the effect has been better on the posts I put up previously then when the follow ups come along to do with …

• The DWP & Atos
• The Police
• Local Councils
• Bailiffs
• Ombudsman (over 90% of them)

Then maybe about now enough people like the nice lady Wyn will see the truth and explain to everyone they know and care about?

These will be spaced it so each one in turn will get ever more people, per month, see it. That is just how a growing blog works. Each post in turn will get more viewers than one posted up a lot sooner.

PRIVATE INVESTIGATIONS

I first saw this report several days ago.

Of course the possible links regarding this very bizarre report about Google getting access to everyone's medical records sprang out like hunted Gazelles on an African Savannah.

Even the report .. reports on it being odd.

Google wants access, or has access, to everyone's medical records VI's the NHS. Apparently it had something to do with kidney problems. Sorry I only skimmed it.

Firstly why would you need everyone's medical records for such a specific thing?

Secondly, should they not ask patients for their approval of allowing a company, especially one chasing world domination, access to such personal files? Doctor and patient confidentiality and all that?

Now then ... onto the links ...

This blog, or the original blog if this is WordPress, is on Blogger which is owned by none other than ... Google.

This blog has a hell of a lot to do with the NHS and corruption along with claims as well as the proof of falsifying test results and medical records by said NHS. I've been posting about that a couple of months short of four years.

Which means Google will, or has, access to mine.

The one I've posted about for years.

Odd that, don't you think? Could it be they want to check my claims?

Could it be that someone is trying to close me down without the balls to approach me directly?

It's far less odd than Google needing every single British persons medical records when what they claim to be doing is linked to some kidney affliction?

So then .. I spotted the link.

So they might be looking into my records? Because someone's trying to close me down and Google are checking my claims? Whether this is because they want to defend me or the opposite and getting a pay off or favour for finding some evidence to close me down?

What an I thinking of this possibility?

Meh ... whatever!

There is nothing to find ... other than the details I've explained and the alterations and omissions as I described them.

Could be totally wrong but it would be an odd thing for Google to want access to anyway and for whatever reason. But the fact that a specific thing is ... umm specified that might only involved 10% but likely a lot lower?

So once again, why everybody's medical records? Why not only the ones with the kidney problem?

Well I suppose if we are going to find out I imagine it will be inside of three months. Three being the magic number in these things.

Google's NHS data deal 'business as usual' says Prof - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-36212085

CAP IN HAND TO HELPERS

OK then I will put up this one for now and to show what I am doing right now.

As plans 'A' and 'B' have not worked out yet, due to time for the former and God knows what to the latter, I am trying something else.

I suppose in a way it kind of works out this way as I have referenced these kinds of people previously and on several occasions.

There are many out there, organisations that is, that offer to help and claim to help people in tricky situations and plenty of them claiming to help disabled people.

Although in my experience, the same with charities, I have always ended up being ASKED FOR A DONATION than being offered help.

Also it is high time, now that I have gathered mountains of evidence, to approach for legal representation. If your the enemy I want to sue ... NO I HAVE NOT APPROACHED BEFORE! Well that is not since I started blogging.

There is this unfair 'Statute Of Limitations' to get around and they will no doubt ask me why I had not approached a legal firm before ... except for that I did!

As everyone seemed to both be lazy and not realise that if they had bothered to spend one hour with me they would realise it was an open and shut case, as I would not prove to be found dishonest in court, I did not get anywhere at all.

So I set out to get a whole raft of evidence as I did not want to get to a meeting the next time only to fail at that hurdle. I wanted to leap all hurdles laid out before me and so I continued on until I got between 6 and 12 from each and every one of them.

I far surpassed these figures with many of those that have failed to do as they are paid to do by the British taxpayer. Because this flawed attempt to save money has only cost the taxpayer ten times more over time at a minimum.

Do not pay to fix people now and you will pay to keep people for year after year until financial ruin is upon you.

Oh, wait?

LMAO!

So I am approaching legal firms, charities and literary agents but the last one has not gotten very far and also another industry full of not very bright people. Quite naive, in fact, in many cases and really need to go back to school to learn mathematics.

As they all seemed to be obsessed with money and things that cannot lose they should therefore be bloody good with their mathematics.

If they were then maybe they would stop wasting their time looking for the next JK Rowling and Harry Potter type series that will no doubt be a copy and would not make a single percentage point of what JK Rowling has achieved.

I have also had to apologise for my videos as my SIXTH camera took a tumble and I thought it was OK but pictures are fuzzy and when shooting video the lens vibrates.

Yes, yes I should have replaced this last year but I was helping someone else out. I did think I would get some funds back from the endeavour to get a replacement but it has not happened. Now is the time this becomes important as the Spring is finally here and Summer not far behind!

I should get something about two weeks from today but I am at a loss to pay more and go skint, and I have to already to replace this damned thing, or pay less and get other things I need too?!

I used a Sony with a 50x zoom lens and do I pay under £300 for one of two cameras in the region of 65x zoom or closer to £450 for an 83x zoom?

I need this to continue getting films for my YouTube channel and pictures for my blogs and as many of these are animals, especially birds, the bigger zoom is vastly more appealing! I am sure people taking pictures and films of birds and avid bird watchers would fully understand. In fact ANY animal expert would totally understand my predicament.

So things are moving, the weather is turning milder and I am becoming more animated, at long last, and after hobbling to the nearest ATM on the FIFTH day of back pain with my walking stick being the only thing that got me there, the pain finally subsided.

Mind you, it did get too much and I piled on 150mg of Tramadol on top of the 100mg I left the house on! Well it was either that or phone for an ambulance while out but it makes no difference because in the eyes of health professionals your wrong whichever of these you decide to do. The exact same applies to the government and they have been trying extremely hard to get that into the mindset of the British people.

This is what Iain Duncan-Smith was getting at by stating you risk splitting the nation down the middle. Except they have already been doing that which, provided your not a complete moron, most people noticed by the choices made in the last general election?

By this I mean Scotland and England. The Scots looked like they wanted out and the English in turn voted for that which Scotland hates. AT least that is they way it appeared to me as even I did not see the Tories getting in the way they did. In fact I did not see them getting in at all.

See? I do not always get it right! But it does turn out to be a rare thing, me being wrong and I do not like being wrong while at the same time have no fear in holding my hands up and admitting when I am wrong. But then did I not just do that?

LMAO!

Here is a video of a few letters sent off which may help others with the addresses on the envelopes ...

As I stated ... errr ... somewhere this is WAVE 2, waved one I completely forgot to record!!

Oh well.

A SEIZING SPINE BECAUSE OF THE SPINELESS

I am not having a great deal of luck lately.

On Thursday morning I awoke with my back seized up and unable to even put my socks and shoes on, after an age getting my other clothes on.

This was followed by a seizure or cramping taking place in my right forearm the morning before, though the worst of that only lasted an hour.

I have been chomping at the bit to get out on my bike and waiting, mostly in vain, for decent weather so that I can start getting some photography and videos under my belt. Though I also need to buy a new camera which is still a couple of weeks away.

Tomorrow was looking like it would be half decent on the weather front.

Except as of right now, Sunday morning, and a whole three days after my back seizing up I am still in a great deal of pain and am confused and worried as to how and why it has lasted this long. So along with the confusion and worry I am concerned I may not get out on my bike with my faulty camera as I was planning to do tomorrow!

I am currently at a loss. I simply do not know what to do. I do not know what to do today as well as tomorrow, if my back is still the same. I have tried some stretching and my Maji back roller device. I was stuck in a seated position for like an hour mere moments ago.

So I have been wondering whether nor not that if my back manages to give me another day without being able to cycle, which is my lifeline in the warmer months and vital to my blogs, I may have to go to Accident & Emergency.

Oh and I forgot to mention the advice given by the last GP I saw...

"Buy some pillows"!

Yup.

Some bodily functions of the ... ahem, southern quarter are also difficult and cause my back to seize up in pain! Lol.

Oh yeah and I did not get the phone-call I was promised so I went into my GP surgery and made an appointment. This time I explained I had been made the wrong appointment and that I wanted my usual GP, Dr Dharman. I thought we must be later into the month on March than I had initially thought as the appointment was made for the 31st March, 2016.

Now whenever I make an appointment the period of waiting for said appointment has been as little as two days to a maximum of ten days, which is extremely rare by the way. But at the time of making the appointment the period has jumped to fourteen days.

Avoiding me, much?

Since I handed in that X-Ray prior to Xmas this has to be the longest in history that health professionals have taken to view a patient's x-rays?

I cannot remember the exact date I handed them in ... but I have been in three times without an opinion on the x-rays and I average a visit about every six weeks. They used to ask me in every month during the first year I was registered but that has tapered off. Oddly about the time I was asked if I was recording the consultations. You do not ask a patient who openly admitted to recording previous GP's and all hospitals and over a year into being registered of they are recording you!

That kind of lets the cat out of the bag that something was said. Lol.

It also seems to suggest that they want to fuck you around but are checking first to see if they are likely to be dropped into the mire before they do. Oh dear.

I have explained in the past that the trouble with evil and corrupt organisations is that each ... iteration of ... actions takes a little longer each time. For them to start to feel confident once again about fucking you about, when you have already caught them out, takes a little bit longer each time.

Only they think I only started what I was doing at my previous GP when they caught me out ... or rather someone within the higher echelons of the NHS called them and told them I was recording everything.

Let me stress that this is merely an insurance policy but I knew they ha lied and evaded health issues for many years and was also proving that I was not only telling the truth but that I did indeed have the things wrong with mew that I claimed that I had.

The NHS not only saved their own arses but completely destroyed my social life by making me look a liar and if your really, really smart you can find a comment from a man of the cloth who comments on my blog stating that his family went through hell, sorry for the pun Vicar, more tea?, because of this and that through me they realised it was not them but the NHS themselves. So it would seem that even men of the cloth or not beyond being lied to, used, manipulated and refused by the NHS.

Yeah well sorry but if you think I am going to take you on face value you either are an idiot or you think that I am?

I did, after all, self diagnose Fibromyalgia Syndrome and then side-stepped a great many attempts to dissuade me and prevent me from getting a confirmed diagnosis. By being told, much to the dismay of the Fibromyalgia Association UK, that there were no Fibromyalgia specialists anywhere in the UK! Then insisted on a number of tests before they would refer me to Guy's Hospital. Where they diagnosed not only Fibromyalgia Syndrome but also spotted that I had a physical problem with my right knee! One that I had asked them about for several years but also got messed about with, lied to about and even had an MRI cancelled citing me as the reason!

The diagnosis of my knee along with the test he performed, a Dr Kirkham, and my crying out in pain from the test were all omitted from the letter to the GP, luckily for them not the Fibromyalgia Syndrome though they made an attempt at being ... VAGUE.

If you have not read all about hat and heard the recordings then ... where have you been?!

Added to this are many more than several others and one of the best recordings on here is a specialist, called Darren Francis, at Chase Farm Hospital admitting he falsified ultrasound tests made on me. The painful black lump from an inguinal hernia repair they found along with a second inguinal hernia, both in my groin, ended up with an ultrasound that was crystal clear?!

Well I recorded myself pulling Darren Francis about the falsification and in the recording he not only admits this but re-dictates a letter to my GP at the time. That was my third of five GP's under my current address. Yes! I have changed my GP several times because of incompetence, lies and evasion.

Yes that recording is published.

So here we are again. Every single thing I have attended the GP and hospitals for have not been resolved except for maybe my night cramps. But then these can take over a year to arise or take place two or three times each year. SO it is a definite maybe!

All this so a bunch of people can carry on being over paid at the expense of hundreds of thousands of people putting up with varying levels of pain and even DYING.

Well it is only a matter of time before this breaks out as a story. Like everything else I have ever talked about, it always comes out in the end. Normally several months to a few years after I predict them! A shame that.

Which then begs the question and I hear long standing visitors asking themselves ...

'Wait a minute? Did he not say he contacted all the TV News media and all the national tabloids about this prior to starting his blogs?'

Well YES I did! Lol.

Yup, 2016 is going to be verrrrrrrrry interesting.

THE DUNCAN-SMYTHE LIGHTNING BOLT

Well what do you know?

Is the pressure applied started to have an effect?

Has it become obvious to one or two in government that what I do is never ending and my visitors ever growing and that it will be sooner rather than later, dead or retired a la Savile, you will be burned at the stake?

Has it become obvious to you that the inhumanity and crimes against the British public are going to backfire because of the plans to mug the most vulnerable will become widely scorned very soon?

Worried to be in a British government that's going to look like crooks to any other decent and humane country?

Iain Duncan Smith has quit, or 'Duncan-Smythe' as I like to call him, over the plans to quite literally mug the disabled of Britain.

Funny because if someone in the street did this they would go to prison for a lengthy spell. They would not even need to be disabled victims for that sentence to be handed out!

As for Mr Bonehead ... sorry I mean 'Osborne' ... what a set of numb-nuts he had and I've pictured a scene of a desert plane with a tumble weed rolling along and the cry of an eagle from up on high inside his skull.

Lol!

I still sit there listening to this crap and reading this crap and asking myself how it can possibly be that they will attack and mug absolutely anyone before they even think, let alone broach or mention, the issue of the countless QUANGOS, like the dozens of Ombudsman for a start, that sit around and do fuck all but chat shit while sucking taxpayers dry.

I might have joked about it and these being family members of MPs and chums but the avoidance of these QUANGOS must have something behind it?

I wonder how long it will be before the news media realise they cannot avoid asking these questions themselves?

Too late! That ship sailed many moons ago without a sextant and is long since lost.

I'm afraid that over the next six months it's only going to get worse, because I'm going to make it a great deal worse.

Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly!

Iain Duncan Smith quits over planned disability benefit changes - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-35848687

THE EVER LONG WINTER BLUES

Terrible is it not? This weather.

Once again for the umpteenth time the earlier predictions of a dry week have gone out of the window as has the prediction of temperature.

"Drier and colder" was what I heard several times towards the end of last week and while it has got colder it is not as cold as they predicted and is still wet. I am also sure I now see rain for at least a couple more days before this Friday too?

In my position it puts damper on everything and I cannot even just pick a destination and jump on a bus! Bah-humbug!

I have spent what must be the third, likely more, time I have remained inside the house, something I am usually very much avoid doing, mostly even one day at a time!

Totally bad period for this to all occur too, any other year but this one would have been way easier and I do find that somewhat typical.

Oddly enough I have also been offered a free car. Was a bit of s surprise that one and not sure how to take it, other then to say thanks. Have to look into the cost of running the thing and it could be a major help with a few things...well I realised once I thought about it. Lol. I am not exactly overly ecstatic about driving again right now to be honest. Probably because the powers that be rendered the whole thing not very enjoyable while being vastly over-priced, for an activity that has been around over 100 years. Yet another area they have tried to force you to give up via price hikes without thinking about how much modern day man and woman relies on it.

A bit like housing then? Lol.

I am also in the middle of some planning I have not divulged on here that involves me acquiring several ... gadgets and a couple, or four, I already have. I do need another two and one of those is pretty pricey. Unfortunately. I am also somewhat limited on ... well, space. But as things have not been going how I had imagined, thought and planned that they would I am resorted to trying to give it a go as things stand. Probably not the best of ideas but it may pan out eventually? Hopefully!

It will certainly produce many videos and pictures to upload to my blogs and my YouTube channel which recent uploads seem to suggest may well be wildly popular while attracting a whole new set of viewers altogether?

I need to muster the energy to first acquire these things and then use them in the projects intended for at least two to get things...going.

Oh and now I have amassed two reasons I have to attend hospital for and hope I do not keep forgetting?! Damn it. Though my osteopath appointment should be going through now. Oddly at my last GP visit I was asked if I was recording the consultations...do not know where that came from?

The NHS picking up the phone trying to stoke things up between me and my current GP practise maybe? In the hope of me not attending any hospitals in case I get more audio recordings of Doctors telling lies to order?

When I pointed out that many Doctors had lied, he asked if I thought it were possible they just got it wrong? I said "No." First off I know the difference between the two and am very good at reading situations and secondly ... even it it was the case ... that then means that I have met 36 idiots disguised as Doctors and specialists?! Just as bad. Besides that and I think I forgot to mention as I do have short term memory issues is that one admitted lying to me and that is on tape. It is also on here!

Unless a cloud storage has closed down and I have forgotten about it?

Weird that it came out of the blue like that, just the same. I have been with this practise over a year now and now that I am on the verge of actually getting them to refer me for the first time I get asked if I am recording?

Seems like suspicious timing?

Maybe someone at the NHS have now realised I have done more damage than they originally thought I ever could?

Maybe I am getting bigger numbers than they ever thought I could amass?

Maybe the realise the ability I have to amass or attract people from different subjects who will then come across the corruption evidence?

Maybe they are seeing my tricks occur in other places with other people and realise I have slowly amassed a small army now using the same methods against them that I have used?

Maybe it is all of the above or something else entirely? I do not know.

What I can say is that it will get worse. Because I am not being distracted by other things that I thought I would be this forces me to not only continue on but to increase what it is I need to do.

Rather poetically this may turn out to be something that they did to thwart me which in time will only be revealed and show that their methods only served to backfire on them?

So it has been a bit odd of late.

I am not in the place I expected to be.

I have been told of things said about me which were, well, good I did not expect to ever be told and from the from unlikely candidates too.

I have been offered a car.

I have been asked if I was recording GP consultations.

Oddly I got up this morning and my back pain was doing something new and preventing me from putting my right foot on the floor for a normal walking motion. In other words I could not walk...at least anything near normally. So that was not good and a trifle worrying. I also did nothing in the previous two days that could have aggravated that. I am pretty sure I will annoyingly also have forgotten it took place a couple of weeks from now?! Damn it!

God things are so bleak looking right now and I wish to God it would change very soon! Things are sooo boring!

I cannot deny that it often goes through my mind how drugs would make things easier, but I always avoid taking that route ultimately. When you often cannot see a way that you can change things, at least quickly enough, within your power it can be terribly frustrating.

This is a major reason I have made it openly known that I detest these overpaid organisations that take forever to do anything while making lots of cash Especially when it's your cash and taken by default.

That then drives me completely into a rage when they sit there on their arses and expect the cash to keep flowing like it is some pre-ordained destiny.

What makes the western world such a terrible place in modern times is that there are too many people wanting exactly that. Sit on their arses while other people's cash flows through their front door. As time goes by the numbers go up at ever more differing rates and the gap gets ever more bigger.

Not a joy to watch.

And now I want drugs! Lol.

I keep trying to find things to fill those gaping chasms but something or someone keeps coming along and screwing things up. Sometimes from the most unexpected places too.

Oddly enough if I acquire my gadgets in about a months time the weather could well carry on screwing that up too? Because space is a big factor and I do not have a great deal of it.

I am not perfect and my own life is a large reason why I am far from perfect. Those horrors and rather unusual sequences of time would have to have had a detrimental effect on me. On anyone. In fact many things I have been through would each have killed many, many others. But despite the faults I have acquired I will not allow my own horrors to make me into some amoral, selfish monster that I do not want to be. Or even just become a drug addict or alcoholic, no matter how many times the thought appeals to me.

So I sit here looking at the miserably grey sky outside thinking of how a little sunlight mere moments ago was nothing more than some evil tease to drive me to self destruction and wonder how long it will be before I can actually do something?

I also wonder if I will have the energy or even just the agility when the time comes?

While playing dodge-ball with other people's theories, egos, envies, wants and wishes. Or just plain old blindness!

What is the odds that it will be pouring down with rain when I have the Osteopath appointment? Lol.

But then again and when I think about it I do have a quite unnaturally empty life and have to cope with the pains and the possibilities of things worsening to the point of complete immobility without anyone else in my life. That is all OK but then sometimes I imagine myself being stuck here, or worse still dead here, for days without anyone knowing. That..does..get kinda scary.

There I go again with the thoughts of being stoned out of my head. Lol.

When you are trying from day to day to be positive and to strive to create things to be positive about and with the lengthiest of most miserable winters on record at the worst time imaginable I suppose it stands to reason that things can get gloomy.

But that does not me from hoping for a day when I can turn that gloom into a ray of sunshine to cling onto.

Maybe being alone for such a long time has a drastic effect, psychologically, on ones mind? That is what I keep telling myself of late.

The only way out of this is to find things to do. Things to occupy yourself with. I am afraid that in the UK and in these dark days that has become increasingly difficult to the point of impossible to do. Weather depending!

Lol.

Oh well, fingers crossed for tomorrow.

SHOUT AT THE DEVILS INSIDE

I think I may have to type this one out in two sittings?

We are a funny species.

The things that we do and the things that we want to do along with what we think others should do makes us do an say the funniest and at times the most hurtful of things.

Many years ago I had to write out a eulogy, or at least part of it and I ended up writing all of it.

This was for y father's funeral who had been paraded on TV as a master villain by the BBC less than a year earlier but failed to stop over 500 people appearing at his funeral so much so that the chapel had to break its rules and allow a crowd three people deep up on the platform around the coffin.

Stabbing in the dark in desperation while blindfolded is never a good idea.

I wrote the eulogy from the deepest depths I could find. It struck a chord with every single person in the room and was designed to do so. It was also designed to get messages across about our faults and failings and attempt to change people. For the better.

To this day I have not ha much sign that it worked. That on its own does not sound like much.

However, if I told you that the humanist, I think called, stuttered and started while reading it because he wondered where it was going and that after he finished he place the writings in my hand and squeezed it, stating that he had never heard anything quite like it, it may mean a bit more.

If I then explained that dozens of people commented on the eulogy throughout the wake and had asked me for copes of it … well I think now you may be getting the idea of how disappointing it was that I did not see much signs that it sank in.

I did, however, get more of a sign that people take a lot more notice of reading my words rather than hearing my words, well at least hearing them from me at any rate.

Christmas just gone did not go as I had planned, thought or hoped that it would and in many more ways than just one.

I was not where I thought I would be and I am still in the dark as to why this is and what was supposed to transpire was delayed until after Christmas. Well it is now after Christmas but I sense it will be a few days into the new year if at all.

Remaining here in London was going to be tough and challenges would be rife in remaining here and that stems from the fact that I am still here. Hmm, hard to explain right now but I will within a couple of weeks.

Then there are the usual challenges associated with getting over a Christmas and these possibilities were one reason I really did not want to be here at all.

Still, there was the possibility that all would be well. It wasn't.

Christmas Day evening started out with a disagreement I had, had with the same person at least twice before, though I was led to believe it was three times by one person. This was over me buying something and that I was told that I should use reviews by reporters in a magazine despite the fact that not only I but at least two other people had told him over 15 years that at best these people are paid money to write this stuff and at worst, paid money to state specific stuff.

What makes this argument far worse is that he would argue over my method for choosing to buy something. This something was a personal music player, a high resolution music player and headphones. He gets into all the technical stuff without fully understanding it and forgets regularly that everyone has different tastes. For instance my present sset of headphones are RHA T10's and he quoted What Hifi Magazine as stating that their bass is too much and over powers other frequencies. I told him that was complete bullshit as I had used them for almost a year, do not like much bass and that a friend had listened to them and stated that they are not “bassey enough”.

You cannot just go in and listen to headphones, you can some but not all all due to some threat of ear infections widely held to be stupid by every single person I have ever spoken to about it. Including on-line. So what is left to do, especially when headphones can cost in excess of a few thousand pounds?

Now I myself read as many reviews as I can fro people who actually bought the things your looking to buy. What I do also like to do is take the average marks out of five for an item that has had several hundred reviews. If two people give reviews and one gives five and one gives one out of five then the overall mark is 2.5 out of 5. Simple maths. If there are 200 reviews plus and the items gets four out of five overall this is an undeniable score. Unless your the person who is telling me I cannot use this method as its extremely unreliable and instead should use the word of one or two people who are paid to say shit and everyone knows it, except him who has been told repeatedly over 15 years.

His base, pardon the pun, for his argument when I tell him its mathematics based and you cannot argue with it? You can get several hundred idiots all writing those reviews. SIGH.

I decided to stop the disagreement, picked up my tablet PC and looked to see what was being published about the next series of Doctor Who!

Well a slight, old and boring disagreement and not the one I thought I would have.

Boxing Day involved more people being added to the mix. One person tried to get out of coming but was kind of emotionally blackmailed to turn up.

I chatted to one for half an hour about computers and computer games and all seemed well.

He tried to update someone's laptop to Windows 10 and had been thwarted a few times and asked if I could attempt it. The laptop was being stubborn so I used the download tool to do it and it was taken a lifetime to do but was at least installing this time.

I found myself on my own in the room with just one older person and five others had disappeared though I was so engrossed in not letting this laptop and Windows 10 beat me I had barely noticed.

Then I heard a shout .. a single and solitary word and looked up.

I wondered what this was, then told myself I must have imagined it and refocused on the laptop.

Then I heard more shouting, a whole sentence this time along with some heavy footsteps and then “we are ****ing going!”

The person stormed into the living room said something about something having being said to them and I replied “who?” It was not the person I expected to hear I had a disagreement with the night before. Odd as they were intending to have a few words with the previously argumentative one about being … well argumentative and his stagnated life.

The stagnation has gone on for well over 5 years, possibly 8, and does not possess the tools to be argumentative. They do not possess any of the tools that are a compulsory requirement for being argumentative. Something else they fail to realise.

Also you need to be in a damned good position to be argumentative and with the necessary experience. Something else seriously lacking though you would doubt this if you heard them.

OOPS!

There I was sitting there quietly, I had avoided a subject I knew would cause and argument between me and someone else and successfully never brought up the subject. It was … once and I cut that off with a one word answer … “NO”.

Suddenly the other combatant was in the room. Followed by the others.

I remained quiet, uninvolved and sat behind the laptop before me as words were now being turned into weapons interspersed with accusations and insinuations at full volume going from left to right and back again. Oooh boy!

As the words went back and forth I eventually started to realise some of the faults we have as human beings when it comes to communication.

We somehow believe that we are heard more and are proved more correct the higher the volume is that we communicate. I realised how ridiculous I must have looked when I used to be like this, something I learned many years ago not to do.

The flapping of arms like birds must help the sound waves to go faster and penetrate the body of their opponents?

I remained quiet.

I did not want to be there. I also wanted to leave. I was still sorting out this laptop and still did not want to be beaten by it.

There had been an accusation or at best an insinuation that did not go down to well. A similar one involving suggested infidelity was thrown in the other direction. The problem? One partner was on their way and the other one was present. Oh crap! I do not believe I heard them just say those things! This is going to get worse.

It did.

Suddenly the only indirect member of the family speaks for the first time and continues to do so. It was the same question. It was always going to be the same question.

In a few moments I realised there was nothing in either one of these insinuations as the same thin was confided between them and each one took it upon themselves to assume there was much more than that confided. Obviously there was not. Otherwise they would never have confided in the first place.

No one is that stupid.

By now I had drunk a few glasses of Jack Daniel's, unsual as I rather prefer a real Whiskey like Glenmorangie or Laphraig.

Eventually the family member with the partner present left and stated they would explain things in the car on the way home.

The one that remained was still furious.

They did calm down a bit before another family member entered the room, spoke up for the first time and demanded to know if they was going to strike the other person?! WHAT?!

My head sank. I could not believe that was just asked and in the way it was asked too! What effing point was there to that question? It didn't happen, that was the main thing. Naturally and obviously it fired up the person it was directed at. Then they did their usual vanishing trick.

Several minutes later and aftyer simmering down a little this person returned and demanded to know if a child from a previous relationship who lives thousands of miles away was still their child in their eyes!

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

I am dreaming now. I must surely have dropped off to sleep and entered the twilight zone in doing so? Or I am a part of another strange mystery TV series from when I was a kid like The Outer Limits? They surely did not just ask that?!

After setting the person off a second time now they performed another Houdini trick. Funny as they are in a terrible situation in their life and several of us were planning to talk to him. I can tell you exactly how it would go. They would argue against established facts, argue against other facts realised by everyone except them and take a guess what they would do then? Yup … another Houdini and like they did the other night suddenly is disappear out of the street door and not return for 24 hours, after setting the place on fire twice.

If you asked them why they had left they would say that they are “fed up with the arguing”. Odd as they opened their gob twice. They are also the biggest problem in the family, to be honest and little do they know that everyone states it.

In fact one of the embattled two that remained actually stated that Houdini had gotten off lightly and that he was going to state a lot of home truths to him but held back.

Well...that was after I decided to break my silence.

I ordered rather calmly that another person in the room to have taken up the baton of the previous child in a previous relationship and told them to politely 'drop it'. I explained that this subject was not in the last relevant to what had just happened. I explained that the two subjects that Houdini had bought up was “stupid” top which I got a few thank you'd for from the embattled family member.

I then set out every now and then giving out my quotes of infinite wisdom and felt like bloody Solomon. In fact I generated praise while there and after I left from one family member who normally is highly critical of me. Wonders never cease.

Once I had spent an hour still listening and every now and then breaking my silence with yet another nugget of wisdom I decided that I had done enough. The chances any of it would be remembered or heeded was snot that likely. After all I did state that it was pointless arguing at all and even more pointless as everyone's emotions were on and off a knife's edge.

By this time I had finished off with Jack Daniel's and had started on a Rose wine. I was not completely legless and was getting there. My fish, animals and orchids had gone without me for 48 hours and I could not leave them any longer. Well the fish had an automatic feeder, though that had not bloody worked!

I was not looking forward to public transport on a Boxing Day but thought the alcohol would help the journey. Turned out I was back on very little time as I got on my first bus immediately and waited all of two minutes for the second bus!

As I feared there were the phone-calls and texts that night about what had happened. Hell, it was only a few days ago and I have even had one visit already about it.

The two have disowned each other all because one does not know how to control reactions while the other does not know how to communicate.

Then you descend into a living hell whereby the volumes are pumped up to 11 in the hope that the devils and demand that reside deep within somehow get forced to listen to the messages and learn something.

Yup. Human being really are a funny species alright.

Ooh. Well that was more difficult than I had planned it.

This is the second part of this post and I have just returned from a cycle ride. The weather has allowed me precious little of that privilege this last year and I have precious little in the way of privileges.

I had been out on the last day with sunshine and for a couple of months there have only been three or four days of this. I cannot always go cycling either, because I might need shopping and often do or may even be a doctors appointment.

I had failed to notice there was a south-westerly wind, as I was travelling north and east for the first half of the cycle. I had also cycled over 3.5 miles before I decided to turn around. Good job that I did as I had contemplated cycling another couple of miles further away.

My trouble is I am hard wired to go at certain speeds and normally too damned fast. Whether this is walking or cycling and it creates a problem that creeps up on me. It is like I am constantly impatient and I have to consciously slow myself down … all the damn time.

I am not perfect, far from it but I have been through enough things to be aware of the dangers and the pitfalls. That helps. Most of the time.

I have had certain privileges others do not have, though these feel more like curses than privileges in all honesty and I am sure would sound as much to anyone that hears them.

I have been alone with my thoughts, for instance, a very, very long time. Getting hard to remember the exact length of time but in excess of thirteen years that is for certain.

This comes with its own obvious nightmares and drawbacks and a whole host of others that are not that obvious at all. Most of the time I find no one takes the obvious ones into account, let alone the ones that would fail to know of.

So I have been alone with my thoughts an extremely long time and those thoughts I do have work in a kind of overdrive type velocity. I managed to narrow down why that is and this is to do with my Fibromyalgia.

All brain signals are scrambled is the common belief in medicine though it is surprising how many brain processes are not thought about with Doctors that specialise in this ailment.

So as far as left with my own thoughts it is more like 26 years plus as they go at twice the speed as they would normally do otherwise. I hate, or sometimes love, puzzles and always have to find the answers to them.

If you thrown that into the mix with the number of things I have lived through, experienced and dealt with then suddenly a picture starts to emerge. A BIG picture.

Hence why when I started this blog and throughout I always talk about the 'bigger picture'.

A lot like the eulogy I wrote for my father all those years ago.

But I live in a world where no one wants to listen, no one wants to read, everyone wants to speak and yet they all want answers.

But answers come from learning which only happens when you read or listen. The third option is to go through it yourself and that is not … always good. Trust me on that.

Old and late Ken was well into his sixties and once said to me “Martin, despite my being older than you, you are the first person I would come to for advice or a problem. But no one else does!” and I just shrugged my shoulders. I explained that we were living in an age where communication was dying and everything was expected to be told in ever shorter sentences and fewer words. I would quote two evils in this that have compounded this with the first one being text messages and the other being Twitter. I then explained that if you even attempted to try and educate anyone about these pitfalls or try to explain anything the responses are along the lines of “I'm too busy” or “Oh I have far too many serious problems going on” and the cycle continues spiralling ever further downward.

Once you dig yourself in deeper enough you will look up to find that you now cannot dig yourself out of the hole you have created.

I wish to God that people could learn. I really do. My own life would have had far, far less horror stories attached to it than it has. Maybe even none at all? But it has … a very long list I live to regret every single day.

I do not want people at my door every day with their horror stories and asking for advice and I told old Ken this. Yet today the very few that I want to come to me and should ask me do not.

This becomes annoying when you thin that they must be getting advice from elsewhere and I can tell you that they should not be doing this. Especially with one particular faction and once learned what the advice is about no one would disagree with this.

Well all except the person that does not ask, of course.

Same old, same old.

It is groaningly tiresome. Especially when lack of advice has caused me no end of more trouble I would rather be without and no cannot avoid.

In fact it was that which made Christmas for me … rather … uncomfortable as well as this Christmas week and the early days of the new year.

So much so that I have half become a hermit and as the days creep by this is with growing with an ever greater want to become a fully fledged hermit altogether.

I promise I wont groan.

My legs ache. A long drive gone on for months now to get myself fitter than I have ever been before and to which I have succeeded. Again. Only this time I am way early on this drive and am determined to carry on for several weeks yet.

I do not like giving in or losing. At all. Not an option. Only in my own personal endeavours that is, not those of other people's.

It is indeed New Year's Eve today.

Tomorrow, obviously, is New Year's Day.

I am not really sure what the first couple of weeks will bring. Maybe more of nothing at all?

Two key dates would have gone by and another speedily approaching, well another two if I am honest. By these dates it would have become way too late and … really, really bad.

I will have to tell and publish all by then and turn my attention onto other things, though these other things were rather dependent on the nothings being somethings. Lol.

I will also be about a year to fourteen months behind. Annoyingly. Still, these things happen much to my annoyance.

Hmm … I just thought, might be a good idea to check my emails?

Yup, more crap, emails from Tagged, Hi5 and a couple of people wanting to follow me on Twitter, speak of the devil. I never go on Twitter but my blog posts get posted on there. Someone tweeting that the GMC are evil, or something to that effect. Yup, worked out that one, lol.

Speaking of devils … that is all we seem to do as a species, to get somewhere we have this unnerving belief that we simply have to shout at the devils inside.