Not so long ago I was surrounded by
many people echoing thoughts and lines that appeared to come straight
from this blog. Just how eerily close to my own..struggles of many a
year gone by.
I have pondered as to how interesting
it will become over time and the patterns that will reveal themselves
form the many people who collect already and in the coming months the
many more who may appear?
My condition of Fibromyalgia is a nasty
one and even has its own levels of 'nasty' too. Someone uttered that
it was thought that the toxins that exist in all plants, to prevent
them being eaten, might be what causes our flare ups to take place?
Interesting.
We know, or at least I do, that the
condition for Fibromyalgia to emerge exists in many but that it takes
a violent jolt that causes what I believe to be a kink in the central
nervous system at or around the base of the neck. From then on in it
is all down hill. Any more violent jolts like those that involve
whiplash and the speed of your downward spiral will increase in
speed.
My own symptoms first started within
months of me having a bad accident when I was around 15 with hips and
ankles and the odd back pain. Then I had a car accident around 21 or
22 that involved me head butting a windscreen. Then I had another
accident some years after that at around 25 that invovled whiplash.
Plus a couple of other jolts in cars with others driving that ended
up in a stiff neck, the list is long.
As a result of this long list so is the
list that contains my symptoms. Somewhere between a 110 to 120 when I
worked through it all. I was not expecting that and would have been
shocked at a couple of dozen.
I also have a pain in an area of
inguinal hernia repair, hiatus hernia, oesophagitis and a buggered
right knee. Spotted twice three or four years apart and diagnosed on
the second spot. From both hospitals a letter stating I had a knee
problem never materialised at my GP surgery at the time. Though one
knew I had a buggered knee, the first one, and later quit by
announcing early retirement stating she had 'had enough of the NHS'.
The ring of people that were present
within the group got to hear how the long the NHS took to diagnose it
and that this was first diagnosed by myself before I basically had to
bribe my GP surgery to send me to Guys Hospital for confirmation
after being told there was no one in the UK.
That one kicked me off for recording
him and his father claiming I broke the law, which I did not and also
was not a good enough reason according to the NHS' own guidelines.
Oops.
I had already been kicked off the
previous one for realising and stating that an ultrasound scan had
been falsified and that I had recorded the specialist admitting that
they had, dictating a new letter to my GP and then NEVER sending that
letter. Well...he did not know I was recording him, otherwise he
would have done.
However, if I ever was angy, as they
stated as a reason for being kicked off their surgery, would I have
not then thrown in their faces the fact that I had recorded them? But
I did not.
At any time I revealed I was recording
them That would have been it and I would not have got anything else
out of them. Too early and I would still be ignored. There wasn't a
'too late'.
I did not want one or two things. I
wanted a lot. A hell of a lot. Years of recordings of me trying to
get them to diagnose and help me and them squirming and trying not
to.
Sure I knew I would realise things and
discover more things when I started. I never, however, ever thought I
would find the things out I did and not just within the NHS but
within a whole list of public services.
I had a text today to say a butterfly
had been spotted. For me that is a red rag to a bull and I am just
itching for some green on the bushes and trees and I want to go
screaming around the place on my new bike.
Provided the weather leans in my favour
I want to enjoy this years Spring, Summer and Autumn as my endeavours
all speed ever faster to their intended goals.
Clear blue skies and a golden glow from
the Spring sunshine enveloping my entire body is all that I crave
presently. Cool breeze in my hair and the soft crunching sounds of my
tyres in paces far from any roads and devoid of people. Solace is
that I seek while wandering and riding the wilderness like some lone
wandering warrior left to his own thoughts and devices.
The sight of Male Speckled Wood
Butterflies performing their aerial combats not alerted nor caring of
my presence as I gaze at their skills as they rise ever higher
skyward. Laying down and relaxing while feeling the soft blades of
grass bathed in sunshine long missed. Wonder how many summers I get
by without being spotted by those with eyes like Eagles or whether
the Bearded Reedlings finally succumb to my hunting and I get the
video and photos I so long to get? The elegant Egrets and their
fanciful white head feathers appearing from tall reeds and sometimes
disappearing again. The colours of the banks of ponds that are flush
with Marsh Orchids are longed to be seen once again along with the
almost unnoticeable Bee Orchids. Not forgetting the Common Spotted
Orchids and Twayblades of course.
I wonder if all my excursions have
revealed everything to me or whether or not surprises lay in store?
In other areas more tools to help me
with my blogs will be appearing and shown within my posts and a
new...energy will emerge that will possibly thrust some blogs
forwards. Time will inevitable tell.
So many opportunities will be
presenting themselves this year in so many ways and from so many
sources that my head is likely to spin. I believe this to be a key
year and more so than that which it has already become by way of one
public service caving in under pressure and giving me a fraction of
the money I have lost over recent years. This is, after all, how I
got my new tools and the more tools to come.
Right now its the warm spring sunshine
I crave the most along with the sight of Orange Tip Butterflies and
maybe the odd Brimstone Butterfly.
Roll on spring 2015.
;)
No comments:
Post a Comment