THE CALL THAT CAME

I have been waiting .. at least in the back of my mind somewhere.

I have been waiting for a phone-call or something to be said to me that might mean that a whole can of beans will open up. A call from a family member and not regarding a certain court case.

Late yesterday afternoon just as I was about to leave a friend's house after looking after his animals and a little after a blackout I got that call.

Now I had already had a conversation with my sister about anxiety and discovered that she got it enough for someone she knows to offer her the pills she suggested to me, Propranalol. But yesterday it was one of my brothers who rings me up, ,tells e he has just had this anxiety attack and described almost to the letter what I have been getting on and off for about a decade.

The funny thhing is I did think he would be the one that potentially could experience more of what I get but anxiety is not one of the things I thought he would get.

He is the one that runs a Ford showroom and came around to me with a Ford Focus RS (or was it a Fiesta RS, cannot remember) and a Ford Mustang 5.0 V8 to take me out in the. So he has a job, lived with a girlfriend for 6 years or more and has three children and a home. My sister does not have a home, per se, but has a good job and so has her boyfriend but the rents or so expensive that renting is possible but does not want to pay those prices and would rather buy a home. Only that to do this they would have to move outside London. She is living with her boyfriend's family for now and for the next 3 or 4 months. That is when her first baby is expected to arrive.

Happy times.

I was fairly shocked as he described the feelings he got in his chest but he had looked up all that he could, when there was already a diagnosis that has been confirmed, and mentioned adrenal gland problems. I told him that I was not familiar with the adrenal gland and could not even tell him what it does. I also explained to him that in fourteen years it had never ever been mentioned to me by any hospital Doctor, specialist or GP. He asked that I looked it up to see what I thought.

So last night when I got home it was the first thing I did and I found a number of disorders, one that had dizziness standing up but nothing about full on seizures and another explaining anxiety. I also seem to remember spotting one or two other things amongst the symptoms of different things. But for my condition to be an adrenal gland disorder it would have to be at least two or maybe even three different disorders and it would not explain all my symptoms. Like my Plantar fasciitis symptoms for one. Skin conditions for another.

Also and I did not get to explain this to him as his dinner was ready but before they diagnose Fibromyalgia they normally test for just about everything else. He did state that it was diagnosed via a blood test and I did tell him that over the years I had several blood tests but he said that he discovered that they rarely specifically look for it. But I did not get to tell him that they probably do in the case of Fibromyalgia as they rule out everything else before they would even refer you off to a Fibromyalgia specialist.

My brother had also had the palpitations and the pulling feeling, I asked him if it felt like his heart was made out of rubber bands and that someone was pulling apart to the point off breaking? More or less was the answer.

This is now going to make conversations with Doctors and courts extremely interesting over the coming year.

I had guessed that the first one and maybe the only one that might experience a few of the symptoms like mine and keep getting negative test results would be this one. Because he had been in a couple of bad car accidents and as Morgan Freeman and I eventually realised it is first aggravated by a car accident, or a very hard blow to the head. Anything close enough to cause whiplash is a certain trigger. This is because of a kink in the head which in all honesty probably why more people have had it in more recent times.

Because after around the fifties and sixties the motor car became more available to the masses and they also gradually got faster. Before cars were widely used there was far less chance of us getting blows to the head or having our heads jolted. We simply were not built to race around at speeds, though many governments now fully expect us to, lol.

Weird though how e hate sitting in traffic, is it not? Lol.

Not everyone can get Fibromyalgia either, the lucky bastards! No you have to have a little kink in your central nervous system around the bas of the neck. In a jolt this gets kinked even more and it starts of signals firing off wrongly and you do not get restorative sleep, in the case of the latter you might get insomnia but even if you do not you wont know your not getting restorative sleep. The only way of knowing, other than being monitored obviously, is that you wake up every morning feeling like your tired and like you have not been asleep at all. Things become an effort to do and it just carries on getting worse.

There is a way of managing this and the very first thing you must do or as soon as you are able is to buy a bike. Especially if you get foot pains that make walking difficult, an effort or even almost impossible. Doing light exercise does seem to mange the levels but I learnt this on my own years before I had my own diagnosis of Fibromyalgia confirmed and long before I even diagnosed myself I was cycling regularly. Every other day, in fact. Speaking of facts the man that diagnosed me stated that he knew I had suffered with Fibromyalgia a long time because I cycled so much and had worked out it was the best way to get around and deal with my symptoms.

I had kind of hoped that no one else in my family would experience the symptoms of Fibromyalgia but from my research into it I did not think that nothing occurring with anyone else was very likely. I had been told of several things but I had not had a collection of things with any one person. I had also met others that went through crap like I did, though only for a few years and not fourteen years like me, was not diagnosed for 3 or 4 years and then not believed by family and friends until a sister started getting symptoms and then SHE was diagnosed with it!

Maybe me being the oldest in my generation across my entire family and the three bad car accidents I had, with the first at around 13 or 14 years of age, it was just destined to be like this for me?

I was into comics when I was a kid and of course I am into comic book movies today. I always wanted to be Superman because he could fly and that would be cool and I could go around saving people as he did in the movies and in the comics. Today I think about how cool it would be that I never have to be on my feet! I also seen clips of The Flash and think how cool it would be to zip around and do everything I need to in no time at all.

I am at a wedding this weekend, or supposed to be, so I will get to see this brother and get a chance to talk about this some more. What none of them know is that it is quite complex and there are some specific things that will tell you it is Fibromyalgia, if they are getting the symptoms already that is. I did text him and state that you get a lump feeling in your armpits with certain clothing and that on the opposite side, in your deltoids, you get this weird pain when you lift your arms up high enough which is normally close to or just past shoulder height. These are just two things that always stuck in my mind about Fibromyalgia and was already convinced this is what afflicted me before I read about them. When I did read about them that was it, no more doubt. The funny thing is that I never got to mention these to the GP I was under when I was diagnosed as just after diagnosis he got a call from someone from within the NHS that I was recording our appointments and obviously told him to get me to stop. He thought he had, then found out an hour long row we had was published on my blog, this blog, that same evening. I got a letter two days later kicking me off his register stating a break down in trust. No mention of what he repeated for an hour that I was breaking the law, lol. I kept answering him that I wasn't.

Also to kick you off a register they need to have a bloody good reason, going by the NHS's own rules. They did not have one. They tried a couple of made up reasons, one of which being a mental health problem which had already been ruled out twice you a couple of years before. Oops, should tryu reading the medical records, lol. That was the second time in a row I was kicked off a register and the only two times I was kicked off a register. But that was because I had not only known I was being lied to quite deliberately but I also realise that they had in fact known that I had Fibromyalgia for some time. This was due to two things and two people. A pain specialist that told me what my Gabapentin and Tramadol would and would not work on two years before for two areas of pain that had not even been x-rayed or scanned, let alone diagnosed, even at a guess for either. No the fact was that they had switched one drug, Gabapentin that was making me ill, for a totally unrelated one, Amitriptyline when I wanted Pregabalin and was refused it. These two drugs not only had the first positive effects on my condition I had ever experienced but in a particular version of Black's Medical Dictionary were the only two drugs to have an effect on Fibromyalgia and they did not know why.

I was also interested to see that if someone else had a collection of symptoms whether they would get fobbed off and lied to by their own Doctors? Even if they go ahead and mention Fibromyalgia to their Doctors at some point, it might get played down or lied about. However as they are both working and I was not it might go very differently for them. As after I realised for sure they were lying to me I suddenly remembered that for two GP practices in a row, only because it happened quickly, I was asked if I was working when I registered and I suddenly thought … 'well why would they want to know that?' Now if they asked if I was working with any dangerous substances or materials, that I would have not given a second thought. Indeed anything that could be related to conditions of effects that could take place on me that would me that would make a diagnosis and potentially dangerous one a lot quicker I can fully understand. But what difference would it make if I was working or not?

Unless the NHS set out a rule for General Practitioners to follow? Only thing that makes sense and I have spent years thinking up of the possibilities. Why spend money on someone that is currently paying no taxes? Oops!

Maybe they should do an intelligence test or ask people registering if they have Doctorates or Degrees? I have the latter and stupidly turned down the former where I would have coded simulation software to teach surgeons how to perform keyhole surgery. Oops! Yeah … they should have asked me, lol.

Hmm I have only just realised after all these years that there was a fellow student called Bill, wont put his surname, who stayed on at Middlesex University. I wonder if he got offered what I did? If he did I wonder if he was told that I had in fact turned it down? Lol. Git! Lol.

I could not post this straight away because my Internet credit ran out. So thought now that I was back that I might mention something that happened. Something that shows another reason I should and can not travel on public transport during peak periods. For this was not a peak period.

I got on a bus and had a woman in front of me with a bag or something and in front of her someone taking forever to find a seat. It was something stupid, cannot remember exactly but think it was being indecisive about what seat they wanted. I was standing by the exit doors while they decided when some guy behind me said “excuse me” and I looked round to my right ans saw a guy coming up my right side. I thought he was trying to get off, which was a bit weird because I was at the beginning of the route at Waltham Cross bus garage and on a '217' bus. The exit doors were, therefore, closed. He then went around the woman in front of me and went and sat in the seat in the furthest right hand corner and I was already annoyed.

He was fucking lucky he was out of arms reach by the time I realised what he was doing as I was wanted to reach out and grab him by the fucking neck, open the exit doors and throw him out foe being so fucking rude.

I went and sat down in the rear most middle seat and looked to my right and stared at him but he was engrossed in something … oh yeah I remember now he was rooting around in a black backpack. Suddenly he had a phone in his hand and the next thing I knew he was talking to someone on his phone. After a couple of minutes I heard the word “pokeballs” and then “lucky egg” and heard him say he was heading for Southbury, which is in Enfield. I wondered if that was why he was rushing around and was extremely tempted to ask him how barging past people and being rude and did he think that would make the bus go any quicker or help him get any more Pokemon that he otherwise would?

I had put some tea tree oil on my head as my skin problem on my scalp was flaring up. The aramour had not only lingered it had quite bizarrely made me smell like a swimming pool all afternoon as it smelt like chloride. In fact it was like those foot baths you walk through at some swimming pools that have a higher concentration of chlorine to kill any diseases you might have on your feet. Germs and things that can lead to warts, that sort of thing. Out of the corner of my eye I see the guy turn and look at me and I thought if this was the kind of person that would mention something to someone that was embarrassing in a public place he was now going to go to hospital. 'Ask me, go on' I thought to myself 'and I will now lose it and beat the crap out of you!'

He then shifted to the seat facing him and then after a few seconds he got up and walked down the bus and I thought he was getting off and wondered why he had bothered changing seats?

But he did not ring the bell and walked past the exit doors and fucking went upstairs?! I recall he was telling a mate that someone they knew was an idiot and talking BS and I suddenly thought 'I think you have a few issues yourself, mate!'

Barging around the bus because of a fucking Pokemon Go game,, fidgety and switching seats all over the place strongly suggested that there was something not quite right with him. I do not think it was autism as he seemed to speak OK. But them maybe autism comes in different levels or something and until Pokemon Go came out he did not leave his home like that teenage boy recently who had autism? Maybe what he had was something else?

Does not make it OK and still annoying but at least it was understandable. However I could have ended up hurting someone and putting them in hospital had I been having a bad day with my Fibromyalgia, right knee and back pain?

I also think that black guy better Pokemon STOP! Otherwise someone else might actually Pokemmon eyes out, pr blacken them? Lol.

THE LIARS & VAMPIRES RETURN

Sorry I could not resist that title ... I mean the Department of Work and Pensions and despite the fact there are thousands of employees being paid between £50,000 and hundreds of thousands per annum all coming out of the public purse they do not give a shit about anyone that is ill or old.

Now I actually thought recently that I may have made a mistake?

They sent me that patronising email about getting a letter from my GP to state why I cannot travel and I had already sent them several GP letters and Hospital letters confirming all the diagnosis I have had along with the fact I am about to have colonoscopy and a scan on my head, so have that on my mind. Umm no pun intended, lol.

Now where I made the mistake is that I sent off to emails and that I considered that it may have been possible, after  I ripped them a new one, that they may have sent the email asking for the letter prior  to reading the letters I attached in the last email.

Like I said ... I sent two emails.

I attended the GP Surgery, as I stated, to my new GP, the brother of the one who just moved to Ealing, who, incidentally, does not know me.

He knows nothing of my medical records or my history whereas his brother does and I pointed it out that I find it something of a hard coincidence to believe that the DWP demand an assessment just as the GP moves without warning?

You would think that these moves would take months and months to set-up? I mean it is not like going for a normal hob is it? Your a Doctor, for Christ sake. There have to be checks, checks on your records, criminal records and medical background, knowledge and where you acquired your degree?

Mind you saying that ... it does tend to arise in the news every now and then that some Doctor Death, I like that, has not been given the proper checks before he killed a load of people, intentionally or otherwise.

Maybe these checks are just for mere mortals?

Anyway I have given the email asking for the letter from my GP, possibly again, below along with all that I sent them along with the latest letter to be posted to them.

As it turns out that no, I was not wrong. They did state that the medical letters I sent them of all my diagnosis is not actually good enough and that I needed a letter from my GP as to why I cannot travel?!

Two problems ...

• Do they not claim they have medical professionals?!
• How many of your Doctors follow your backside around for days on end to see what you are capable of or if you are having the symptoms you claim that you are or not?!

Do you know what ignoring the stuff I sent them means? That is after they were all like 'Oooh we will send this off the the DWP' crap?

It means they are incompetent morons and that there attempts to stick the knife into people with disabilities is nothing more than pathetic and that they have the law and the NHS twisted around their finger and do not care who knows?!

Ooh? Did I mention the United Nations?! I cannot recall, oh well good to have a few things up for round 3!

EMAIL

Dear Mr Haswell

If you wish to be assessed at your home for your work capability assessment, the onus is on you to provide a letter from your GP explaining the reasons for the request.

Please be aware that if your GP charges you for providing the letter, we are not in a position to refund you for the cost of this.

with regards

Customer Relations

Centre for Health and Disability Assessments

Room 4E04, Quarry House. Quarry Hill. Leeds. LS2 7UA

Letter from DWP as they seem to be suddenly clueless to what I have and only NHS, Doctor and Specialist letters that have been falsified and ... doctored, ahem, are acceptable?!

Note above how they have given me from Monday 13th June 2016 to Wednesday 15th June 2016 to get an answer to them with a Second Class Post envelope they themselves provided?! LMBFAO!

Evidence I sent them PREVIOUSLY which was not good enough, told them about the head scan and the colonoscopy as well along with GP contact details ...

These are likely not all that I sent and I believe I remember there being 12?

I quite deliberately sent them one letter from back in 2003 to show them that I can prove not only what they have been up to but how far back it goes.

The other funny thing is that I never pointed out, quite deliberately along with other things, even on here is that I knew I was being lied to and messed about and could not figure out how they were so sure they would get away with it ...

...until I discovered that I had Fibromyalgia Syndrome, what it does to one's memory and that they had known for at least two years that I had it.

I had a real bad history of forgetting and missing appointments some years back and found it strange that I kept doing it, how can you forget there is somthjing wrong with you, you need to sort out?

Even stanger was the fact that I was never ever once charged the £10 fee for missing appointments?

I naively used to think that it was because Dr Rhaman and I had a good rapport and I used to do him favours by helping him train medical trainees once a month?!

Ooh ... did I not mention this? Well I have! If you go ... far enough back into the archives.

If you go far enough back you will also discover that I stupidly turned down an offer of a PhD from a Peter Pasmore of Middlesex University to program the software to teach medical students how to perform KEYHOLE SURGERY!

Ooh, did I fail to mention that too?!

Check my archives, lmao!

THE FIRST & SECOND CONTACTS

I have kept something at bay.

Not only have I kept something at bay on here I have also not mentioned it to most people I know outside of the Internet.

I have had the contact I was waiting for and I have had two but the important thing I wanted said or the things I hoped would happen have not taken place.

Of course I know all the possible theories and some are good and others are bad.

This person is very close to me, in fact you could not really get closer and I am the only close person they have. So what has taken place, or more accurately not taken place, is somewhat confusing.

I will tell all and in only a few weeks time too but it was brought up in conversation today regarding something else.

A naysayer repeated what they had stated before and I had to correct them. “Well you have had no contact and no proof of the legal case. There wasn't a legal case!”

I was forced to correct something and this the reason why the subject was kept closed...“Err that is not true and when [someone we both know] said this I told him that as he used to be a social worker I was surprised to have to point something out, [point out an obvious thing to him] and he said “Oh .. of course, yes there had to be a legal case” I just do not know about the money, that part is the part that looks doubtful”

He replied “Oh but there was no money, that was bullshit as they would have paid you the money back and they didn't”

That bit I cannot argue with as it does look really bad. But the truth is I do not know why things have gone the way that they have and why this other person has not done these things.

I had no Christmas greeting and nor did I get a 'Happy New Year!' message either.

What is most annoying is that someone who was more closely and directly involved with this person close to me, from about 8 years earlier warned me of behaviour like this.

Now I went and told him that I did not think I would get this kind of behaviour. I told him I thought he would turn out to be wrong. Annoyingly he has been proved quite correct.

Oh he gave me details of things and stated that the person was a really nice person deep down but told me that due to tribulations in life they would act in a certain way, sometimes seemingly kinda crazy and out there. He told me that I seemed like a nice guy and that from what he had heard and read about my sudden 'gate crashing' of what had gone on with his local council, police and social workers that he worries I will get put through a tough time of it.

The friend today said “but [they] has not contacted you for months and wont contact you” the theory they absolutely insisted upon was based on the fact that I would not be contacted any more. I then said “No [they] have contacted me” before they replied “yeah but not recently!” before I then said “Yes they have contacted me recently, I just decided not to mention it or them any more”

This subject arose because I got a phone-call from someone I know asking me to help them in a legal case almost identical to the one I helped out on. I was explaining what they had asked me on the phone. Of course, when questioned why, I had to point out of the legal case I was previously involved with. A subject I decided was off limits for the last 10 weeks, one that I know I am being laughed at behind my back.

Just because I do not mention a particular subject it does not then mean that nothing has happened and I am surprised at how many people see things this way.

This is another solid reason it is easy to keep secrets from people and leave them completely in the dark. Everyone assumes that because I fail to mention something for weeks then it is as they predicted and its a failure or all bullshit.

Myself? I prefer to not broach upon the subject because I get bloody annoyed at people's naivety and how they get adamant about something or someone they know nothing about.

I get annoyed with other people who for lack of actions they promised to make they make themselves look bloody guilty and play right into the hands of these people who so desperately want to be correct for a long list of reasons by doing … nothing.

This includes promises made and agreements of plans of action being flung right out of the window giving everyone the facts, or rather lack of facts, they need to harp on about how they are correct.

This has made things very, very difficult for me and right over Christmas as well and I dreaded being grilled about things.

I had to promise someone I would refuse to pay out any more money if I was asked!

So then? I was asked for help in a very similar case by someone I know and right out of the blue when there was never any mention of even a single thought like this in the past. So why? Seem odd to you? Do I need to remind you about the 'after Christmas' statement? One that I was very disappointed about? Still not odd? OK then …

Just two days before this took place, or two days ago as I type this out, I got a rather strange email from the company who host a very big blog site. It said something along the lines of …

Good news! Your blog has recently spiked and is getting a great deal of traffic!

I was like “Huh?” and then I was like “Eh?!” and then “whaaaaaat?” and wondered what this was about as I had not had an email like this before. I went in and had a quick look at what this notification was about. My blog had spiked … quite considerably in fact and I was told that I had amounted 57 readers in under an hour. The chart for the activity spiked way beyond anything I had previously seen by quite a way.

Ooh, I just had to have a conversation on the phone and about what I was typing about above and another little issue with the same naysayer as above. A man a friend of mine met, new year's eve I think or new years day, who wanted a vivarium for a large Boa Constrictor. He took £483, or close to it, out of his pocket and then took a five pound note and put that back in his pocket. He then said that if a vivarium could be acquired, even a second hand one, then the person that could supply it to him would keep the entire amount of money he had!

So this one friend of mine called another friend of mine who could have supplied something like that as it is the business he is in. He did not answer the phone and eventually text back with the shop opening times. He thought that was a little rude and I suppose it was and obviously did not want to be disturbed, wherever he was. But he had not had a good Christmas, like many small businesses, and that amount of money could have helped him a great deal. Eon Energy could have been silenced with that money and silenced for a very long time indeed.

Yes so on the phone just now I was asked if I had mentioned it and I said that I had indeed done that but was not brought up by me and instead was our mutual friend that broached the subject. I also explained that this was two days beforehand and not with the chat today.

So they had heard two things that would not have been good to hear, losing out on a possible £478 pure profit on a deal, or very close to pure profit, and that their theory was blown out of the window due to me receiving what felt like 'First Contact' with an alien race as well as a 'Second Contact'.

Not a good couple of days and not really my fault.

I always knew that subjects avoided would eventually reach a time when they could not be avoided any longer, due to other conversation subjects.

On another note and a follow up to hearing that the BBC would not be using the Met Office for their weather or weathermen and women any longer I hear there is a very weird advert being aired by the BBC?!

Rather like the freebies they trick idiots into sending in of films or videos that they pay no money for and do not even offer they are advertising something so absurd that I started laughing.

Someone I know, along with many others, has complained about the weathermen and the Met Office. They have gotten things terribly wrong for what seems like 18 months or more and in that period of time we also got to hear about a supercomputer that cost them £76 Million! In fact this particular friend said “Your better off looking out of the window than listening to the Met Office predictions!” Even today it was first supposed to be dry all day, then the BBC said it was going to rain today, just this morning. It didn't rain. So their first prediction was correct. They then altered that prediction more or less revealing they had gotten it wrong. Then with the most recent prediction … weeelllll …. they got it wrong!

So what are the BBC advertising?

They want, what I believe they referred to as, “weather watchers” to look out of the window, check the weather and then upload it to the BBC Weather Centre via some web-page or other?!

Are you effing kidding me?!

So they dumped the dreadfully wrong and vastly over budgeted Met Office to save what is, no doubt, a vast amount of money in licensing and get people to do their work for them by looking out of their windows?!

I thought that their news using naïve morons sending in their photos and videos was bad enough! I find it hilarious that they are now advertising for slave labour to get people to notify them … umm so that they can then notify others, their neighbours who cannot be bothered to look out of their windows?!

You really cannot make this shit up!

So amidst the period whereby I am getting over the shock of what the BBC have recently been advertising I get an email I have not had in three years stating that my blog, or just one of them thus far, has spiked with the visitor numbers in a way that has not happened before. Also a friend of mine I have not heard from in awhile now wants my help to go through a legal case I have spent the best part of four years going through? Never having mentioned anything about taking a course like this in the five years or plus I have known them?!

Odd.

I know them well enough to know that they do indeed have a case. But having a case to answer or be heard is one thing. Getting the proverbial 'ball' rolling is a whole different kettle of fish altogether. The hardest part, in fact.

I explained that I would list down the procedures they would need to go through. I also stated that in my case the person who had the legal case was quite lucky, though I would have found a different way of achieving what we did, anyway. I explained about the lack of Legal Aid and therefore all your human rights, and that we, or rather 'they', would have to find a way around it.

I also explained about the Statutes Of Limitations too and how those laws are very suspect and quite obviously exist to help large and powerful and/or rich organisations from being sued.

Does it not seem a little odd now?

As I stated to a friend of mine earlier today this email sent by the hosts of one of my blogs was one I had not had before and out of the ordinary by quite some margin. The graphical chart and the number given was way out of the ordinary too.

These things seem to certainly suggest that something, somewhere has happened.

Maybe something was reported on TV or perhaps a tabloid, even just a local one? Maybe my blog appeared somewhere that is quite popular with people? There are plenty of names out there to add too things like Twitter. For instance there are news like sites like The Huffington Post or Mashable or perhaps another site with news like Yahoo?

Perhaps a link was posted in a popular forum or someone else's blog that was already attracting a lot of people?

But I have featured in places before and even in the Daily Record's website. Organisations and groups of one affiliation or another have had my blog address on their websites. Nothing before has caused a spike like this one and it has been over three and a half years since I started blogging.

Oh and I also have a dozen blogs and not had a notification like this before.

Seems to suggest something out of the ordinary has taken place?

Oddly this is something that I predicted might happen when I was left in the dark without rhyme nor reason and left their for what seemed like permanently.

Not only did I suspect something like this might happen as I was left for weeks in the dark but I did think it might happen within the first two weeks of January, 2016 of course.

Because they said “...after Christmas” over eight weeks prior. I thought of the new year immediately and then realised that if the communication dies as it has done so many times before then the first signs of confirmation I might get may be in a completely different way and from a completely different source?

The possibilities would be to see something in the news media or get told about it be a friend or family member or some kind of sudden rush of people to one or more of my blogs.

Also there has been a change in me too! I suddenly found myself with a Bee under my bonnet! In the long distant path I considered two possible paths at a juncture, crossroads if you will, in my life. One of these was to be creative and manufacture things that nobody made and the other was to attend college, go on to university and acquire a degree.

I took the second path to university, acquire my degree and stupidly turned down a PhD, or Doctorate, when I got my thesis result of a distinction, or 'A'. I was only one of two students to get that high a grade. I then got stabbed in the back over my overall grade, long story. For the first time I am now wondering whether the stabbing in the back was because I turned them down? I was regarded highly by both students and lecturers and possibly and because of my knowledge in other fields, many science based ones too, they see me as someone that could make them a lot of money?!

I had been having conversations with various people about a pet project, 'pet' literally, I had been working on for a few years and that many museums and zoos had heard of what I did and were talking of six figure sums to get their hands and the finished article.

Funny then that well over a decade on and neither my manufacturing designs nor my software designs have ever been created by anyone else. Not to my knowledge and I do have my finger on the pulse, so to speak, on these things … well half the time at any rate.

Hmm … maybe the zoos and museums have cottoned on to who I am on my YouTube channel and word has gotten around and they are all looking?

Maybe I should publish my thesis work or other programming I did at university ass I still have it in both Java and C++ languages! I was test dummy for the first ever WAP, Wireless Access Protocol, mobile phones too.

I have done, experienced and achieved a great deal of things in my life. I do not always remember them all and likely down to the Fibrofog symptom of my Fibromyalgia?

So this was how it was when I started out blogging. I knew that it would take a great deal of time to get what I did. I know it would take a great deal of time to allow things to cool off before I could acquire any more. There would have to be periods that lasted for weeks and then months on end before I could then go 'at it' again and acquire more data and proof. I also knew that it would take several years for me to get into subjects or be reminded of things I had long since forgotten.

Maybe others are remembering something I had long since forgotten? Maybe even that someone from my past that has links to many others I have long since lost contact with has found me and the word has gotten around?

I was always shocking both students and lecturers at Middlesex University of the things I knew, the things I could do and my ability to solve things and the level of wisdom I possessed?

Once coming up with an answer to a missing number in a Venn diagram that we were told we would need algebra to solve. I was good at algebra at school but that was ten years previous to this puzzle being presented to me. So I sat back while others beavered away with their pens and paper. I stared at the problem on the whiteboard when the number '17' popped into my head. I asked Steve Lockett out loud of the answer was '17'. He had this twitch like habit of his tongue coming out of the corners of his mouth when he was feeling humour or trying to be cagey about something. He turned and looked at the board as if to hide a look on his face. He asked me why I had thought it was 17 before then thinking twice about it and then said we should let the others get to their conclusions before I asked.

I rocked back and forth on my chair for several minutes.

Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw a head raise up, it was Hanni. “I have 17” he said before looking across the room directly at me with confusion. This was followed by another guy whose name I cannot remember but I think his surname was Eldridge? Or Etherington? Anyway this is quite irrelevant. A little while later another said he wanted to know how I did it and then another before over ten people had come up with the same answer I had.

Then the tutor spoke “Well yes it is 17, but Martin … I would like you to explain how the hell you did that!” A few others nodded and said they wanted to hear this too. I cannot remember the mathematical formula that ran through my brain at the time and all I could tell you is that I explained it simply and that the diagram represented groups of musicians of differing instruments.

I say that because it might be some standard test that is always the same and someone who visits the blog and reads this who might have done a similar course to me might have actually had the same mathematical problem and Venn diagram presented to them.

If it is homework … I think you may find the number is 17?!

LMFAO!

This was not even at university and was indeed at Waltham Forest College!

I did a number of other surprising things at Middlesex University and I am well aware that I have forgotten several things. I had the Matlab assignment thrown out, which had never been achieved in the history of the university. Not hard as the man that set the assignment was on overly cocky and had a far too high a regard for his own intellect was actually an idiot. Intelligence does not mean that wisdom is also possessed. He set the assignment to show off more than anything else.

And no … I was not the student rep, though everyone insisted tat I was after that and had achieved a great deal more with the university staff and consistently so for my three years there. So I was the unofficial student representative and regardless of the problem everyone always came to me with it.

I was also quite pally with one of the lecturers, Alastare, and friendly with a couple of others and in a group presentation had one woman lecturer called Janet rolling around on the floor with laughter. Knocked our group down to a 'B' grade because she laughed too much, lol.

I was the leader of the group but felt responsible for not getting that 'A' grade achieved by only one other group. However when I apologised my new fellow student friends, a Jamaican, Vietnamese and a Chinese dudes, were leaping up and down and hugging each other before one said “Your joking man?! That grade was fantastic!” who had himself expressed concern earlier for allowing the one in the group who was incapable of understanding the technical side of things, being demoted later to a 'Joint Degree', I think it was called and no letters after your name, doing the introduction with some humour.

When I was asked when the worry was expressed I said that he would not be able to present anything complicated, technical and programming in C++, Java and even HTML was out of the question. He seemed more comfortable with his idea and that I felt it was important that we all performed well.

I was hugged and patted n the back for gambling on that and getting it right, despite the fact that too much laughter lost us an 'A', it was good they felt this way and good to see my other friends who had grouped together and left me with no one and all sat there with their chins on the desks before them!

Yeeeahh there were some crafty things going on at university. One friend of mine was in a group with a 'know-it-all' and cocky student who just 6 months beforehand had featured on the centre pages of the News Of The World tabloid, looking wimpy in his picture while the headline 'JOHN HARTSON SMASHES WIMPY BILL' adorned the page above his picture which two friends photocopied a hundred times and plastered them around the student halls noticeboards.

Yes, I kid you not!

There was this hilarious few weeks where two students ran the photocopiers dry getting copies of this centre page article which would be pinned up everywhere, taken down by the student union and then put back up again!

Bill had told us all about the incident, about being beaten upon by a drunken footballer, Arsenal's John Hartson as I stated, and the up and coming newspaper article.

On the Monday morning a group of women were seated much farther down and towards the front of the lecture hall and giggling. I had wondered what they were giggling about before trying to get their attention … “Clare?! What are you all giggling about?” I had forgotten about the news article. She held it up and there was Bill in a full page spread, hands in pockets looking like a skinny, young John Lennon with that unforgettable title splashed above his head. I roared with laughter and when I managed to stop I then said “Oh dear, I don't think he realised they were going to rip him apart like that?!” Another time I realised that journalists cannot be trusted along with anyone else … including the university I was sitting in!

I then looked around and said “Hey? Wait a minute? WHERE is Bill?!”

Bill was not seen for the next two weeks.

Yes so one of the students, a so-called friend of mine who I had actually attended college with before university, had now realised that the second half of out second year and the third would be devilishly harder than the first half. So he befriended the younger man he had put photocopies up to embarrass him because he always got 'A's.

I was put in a group of three students I never knew. They all became bloody good friends after that group presentation.

When it cam to the thesis grades my college mate Adrian never got his 'A'. Neither did 'A' grade student, Bill.

I, however, did acquire an 'A' or Distinction and another Irish fellow called John who was not part of Adrian's group was the only other student to acquire the Distinction. Though I acquired 7 'B+'s and 2 'B-'s that Distinction was the only one I got.

Funny how things work out!

Funny then that over 12 grades that included those seven 'B+'s (over half), 2 'B-'s one 'C' and one 'D' that along with the thesis graded 'A' and your most important work that I never acquired an Upper Second! Or an overall 'B+'!

There as a heated conversation with the Dean of the University who was quite simply an idiot and no good at maths and they refused to change the grade. They used a 'D' in my first year as the reason despite the fact that they are not factored in the overall grading as I pointed out in the student handbook.

I think they thought I cheated on my thesis and did not know the amount of knowledge I possessed in my many different fields?

Or as had occurred to me just today while typing this out maybe it was sour grapes because I turned down the Doctorate offered to me by Peter Passmore?

If this was the case, the latter, and I had known they were upset about my refusal to do that to my grade I would have accepted the offer of a Doctorate!

Now remember … I have fought and battled the NHS on here for years and have lots of recordings proving five GP Surgery Doctors and no less than five hospitals have lied to me and I have it on tape and in letters signed by them. Remember this when I tell you what I would have been doing had I accepted the Doctorate …

Working on software to create a simulation to teach Keyhole Surgeons how to perform different types of surgery!

Seriously I kid you not.

So I have seen and done many things in all my years and I am very good at solving the most intricate of puzzles.

So imagine how annoying it is when laymen with no knowledge at all nor experience in something I am involved in want to be be insistent about their theories?

Pain in the arse, much? Annoying, much?

I do not know what worse … the thought I did something wrong or took a wrong turn somewhere or that these piss taking morons might have gotten it right purely by mere chance?!

I am hoping that not only does this change over the next few weeks, though it does not look good at all right now, but that these little events that have occurred today stem from something that has already happened.

Also this … sudden turbocharged boost to my blog will mean a great many things of this continues on for the forthcoming weeks, or better still … many months.

Because if it does I will reach many of my goals far, far sooner and that means that I will be in a position to cast of the dead weight, the tribulations and the things that are weighing me down and also putting a downer on things.

I will have my chance to relocate as I have so long wanted to do and perhaps even become mobile again with a car?! These two things would force my endeavour to take to the skies and soar above the puffy white clouds.

Ooh what a vision that is.

Oh and you might as well now a little bit for now and that I was told I was the greatest person in the world of my kind, over stating it a bit, and I had some apologies for the delaying tactics.

Still did not get an explanation for any insights into what they were planning and why and have not heard anything for over a week.

I just hope and pray I have not gotten this one horribly wrong and I also hope that the reasons for all this are damned good ones.

THE AMAMORONS

Well would you adam and eve it?!

Amazon were not content with getting my last orders wrong but seem quite intent on continuing this trend!

I have sat in all day waiting for a ... parcel and I recently just sent them an email going bloody mad because on my account screen it states ...

We have delievered you parcel (mail slot) so you wont ge receving any more text messages from us about this any longer.

What the feck?!

There is no fecking parcel in my house or outside on the doorstep, which sometimes happens, and nor have their been any text messages either! So I have called them all the names under the sun for getting it wrong yet again for the umpteenth time this year but I also want to know ehre the feck it is and who have they been sending the text messages too?!

I have two phones and I have had no text messages at all from either one!

Jesus Christ!! They really are appalling these days and their service is worse than that of their teeth grinding adverts on TV!

From now on I am ordering from Play.com if at all and if its stuff like I have ordered then likely from the retail outlet I just used that had all 7 items in one box and in my hands in 24 hours! They used the DPD parcel people which Amazon seriously need to get some tips from. I really, really do not know what is going on at Amazon. Pissing off the public over corporation tax was not enough for them. They used to be such a good company and service but the last couple of years they really have gone down the tubes.

I am guessing their attitude is that if you want a decent service you will have to pay? In which case what is the point of them?!

I signed uo with Amazon in the late 90's, around 1997 to 1998, while studying Applied Computing at Middlesex University and we all had Amazon accounts as back then they only sold books, no other things and no third party crap, and they were good and cheap. In fact their books were cheaper that our on site book store at Middlesex University!

The funny thing is too is that I am waiting for a week on Wednesday to acquire another big piece of the project, one of the final pieces. When I saw the price of this piece online, once I decided on it in a local store, I thought I had made a mistake? The price on Amazon seemed to be the same as that in the store so when I had to go back to the store for something else I checked once again and sure enough it was the same price as Amazon?!

You can bloody well guess where I will be buying that item?! LMAO!

THE SLEEPING DRUG - SODIUM OXYBATE (XYREM)

I am drying off after a shower and intend to go out but restricted myself to bike only.

I do have to go to a new chemist as I have had enough of Lloyd's Chemist and am going to one that is closer, new, an old name and I keep forgetting is there!

While I was drying off and drinking a mug of tea I thought I would look into that drug Sodium oxybate. I had considered doing this earlier but was a little superstitious about it. Kept thinking I would put a bock on myself what with the Guy's Hospital appointment approaching and all. Thought it better to wait and see just on the off chance I was wrong or they tried to lie as has been the case so many times.

I was a bit surprised when I found this page which is a UK webpage and for Narcolepsy, in fact Narcolepsy UK for those that have it and wound up on my blog.

On this page you will note that the brand name, there could be others as this name is used by whoever manufactures the drug, is Xyrem, prononced Z-EYE-REM.

Also you can see that it is available in the UK but I was surprised when the guy at Guy's Hospital had not heard of it, sure my GP will raise an eyebrow when I tell him that.

But the most surprising thing of all on there is the actual annual cost of admistering the drug which is £13,000 per year?!

Yes OK this is nowhere near the costs of Herceptin, when it was introduced at least, but its still ridiculously expensive. I really do not understand how these drug companies work out their prices sometimes.

At the end of the day a new drug is just that. Whether there are already drugs that work for conditions or none at all, they did not possess the drug previously because it is new. But unfortunately and as I covered before with Herceptin these companies have their heads in the clouds when it comes to numbers.

I mean what idiot drugs company invents a drug and then prices it so that Health Services will not buy it?! It is madness! Especially when it is for a condition that is not that common as it is in my case. I only ever met one other person who had Fibromyalgia and I spoke about this previously. Especially how I kicked myself for not asking her more in depth questions about it! I think I got the condition mixed up with scoliosis becaise I thought it was a condition that only affected the back. But then this was in Waltham Abbey and I had just cycled many miles and at the end up a big hill, so was always out of it when I got there.

After extensive research done previously, but still ongoing, Sodium oxybate is the only drug to my understanding that does rid someone of the symptoms of Fibromyalgia. For just as the Doctor at Guy's Hopital stated to his student that the condition is to do with unrefreshing sleep.

Now for those that do not know, and odd ones with limited understanding but think they know it all, lack of unrefreshing sleep is quite bad. It is also the one reason that shows EVERYONE exactly why there are so many things wrong and someone is not a Hypochondriac.

Put simply the brain needs to go into a deep sleep, NO not REM sleep, whereby the brain does its household chores of repairing everything and ridding things from the body. If the penny has not dropped this is all of the body. From every organ, including skin, and every channel that exists on the body to every part this is NOT reparing itself as it should and this is night after night and ongoing. Not hard to get your head around now is it? Or not rocket science as one used to say.

Then once you realise that you have to consider the possibilities and consequences this has on your mind to! It can and does cause depression and anxiety disorders. I have stated many times that my mind feels like its going a thousand miles an hour and my body not wanting to move at all. SOmetimes my brain does not want to go at this speed either, or at least some of it does not.

In highly stressful situationsI get a block, rather like a mental block or a writers block but it lasts longer and is a lot more frequent. The same is also true of all other things despite people saying, yeah but I get that all the time, when they actually mean six times a year and not a dozen times each day.

The very weird thing is that I already proved this a very, very long time ago when I was at university.

I deferred my Final Year Project, or Dissertation. In so ding I had a lot more time to do this and I did it to perfection and this is mentioned many times and even by others throughout this blog about me.

Most of my grades were in the Upper Seconds, B+, and over half of them were. The others were made up of Lower Seconds, B-, and the odd Cs. Hoewever in my dissertation I shocked everyone, including myself, when I was awarded a Distinction, 'A', for my thesis which is your most important work!

After the initial rejoicing as I would have been more than happy with a B+ O then thought about the fact this was my firs and only Distinction! I wondered if the university might have thought I had plagiarised my work, which I did not of course.

As a matter of fact noy only could I say that they may have suspected this and downgraded me despite no proof but that this very part of this explanation is found on my blog in a couple of places one very near the beginning! I also stated that I had a showdown with the Dean of Students who used the excuse that I had not turned up for an exam in the first year as an excuse despite me reminding him that according to their own rules the first year grades and discounted in the grading?!

So yes this damned block plagued me many times throughout my degree and I lost count of the number of times I was kcicking myself vecause I saw the solution at the last minute, seemingly out of some mental desperation, and my assignments would have appeared rushed and fragmented at best, explaining my lack of Distinctions earlier on.

Yes, yes I have said all this before but now contrast that with something else I said before and that was that one man that saw my Dissertation, which included animal taxonomy, biology and anatomy, was a graphics lecturer called Peter Pasmore, or Passmore, and he asked if I would join a team working on the software to train keyhole surgeons on how to perfom their surgey!

A pretty stark contrast I think you would agree?! Turning down that offer is one keypoint in the timeline of my life I so wish I could change! Two words were on option in both 'Yes' amd 'No' which resulted in two letters f the English alphabet that would have me rueing that day for a great many years to come.

Applying to Get Xyrem | Narcolepsy UK:



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