CONCRETE PILLOWS AT THE VESTRY

The evening after I compiled a set of medical note bullet points in an upcoming post ..

(MEDICAL NOTES: THE RUN THROUGH) ..

.. I had a bad night. A really bad night and in a lot of stomach pain that had me on and off the bed, sitting on the floor and clutching my stomach and wanting to die. It was .. rough. This has been an on and off thing for some years now and what I thought could be diverticulitis, though I had no diarrhoea but then I have not been eating much and lost a couple of stone and still decreasing.

This continued on from around 9pm or so until 5am in the morning at which point the pain had subsided enough that I fell asleep. I then was frustrated when I woke the next morning and to my shock with a different fucking pai riving me nuts. It was 2pm and I so bloody hate that. So I went and sat in the park and had my usual green Monster drink and then decided to get my bike out and go for a cycle. I am living in fear I am going back to the days where I do not sleep at night and last night did not help. My eye had calmed down a bit but when I awoke it felt like someone had hit me with a baseball bat and oddly enough it is my right eye I have always stated on here and to General Practitioner's I have issues with. I must stress this to the next GP when I tell them about the Hypomagnesemia and Behcet's Disease.

I realised upon getting my bike out that the tyres were a little spongey and I hd to leave the bike and try and find my pump, which I could not because someone moved everything around without consideration to my heart or memory issues among many others.

By the time I had to sk and then retrieve it I was already a lttle out of breath .. a lot of crime around here and I had left a decent bike outside .. no choice. I then pumped up by tyres and .. my God .. I was knackered and my heart was pounding like there was no tomorrow. I had to spend ten minutes or more leaning on some railings and it seemed my heart was just not going to calm down. IN the end it had come down enough for me to take my chances and cycle, hoping that if I take it gently it will just settle in a few minutes. It did.

I cycled for a few miles and ended up in EC1 near where some family come from.

At one point I got off the bike and walked for a bit and I had crossed over from EC1 to N1 and when I had I saw this rather neat establishment, cannot recall if it was a bar, pub or cafe, and as I looked across the road there appeared to be seats made out of pillows?! I thought that this cannot be right and they must be made of concrete but made to look like pillows?

I walked across the road to investigate and sure enough they were concrete and I spotted the word 'pillow' on the side of one of them. This was somewhere on Vestry Road.

I had spent the day wondering about some of the major mistakes I had realised with my medical notes, some that were immediately obvious, like why did they only go back two years, and others I realised later.

I had especially been thinking of one that I had only realised this morning and had to warn my daughter about it.

In fact a great many people need to be aware of this because I have this theory that from here on on, for the last couple of years and for the foreseeable years people are going to die at the hands of the NHS and no one will be any the wiser?!

When this post comes out, called 'MEDICAL NOTES: THE RUN THROUGH' you need to pay attention as the mistakes will be obvious.

They in fact may have already affected you or someone close to you without you already knowing it and will no doubt affect others over the years to come.

These can and will be fatal.

But .. it is a clear omission that wont be listed on anyone's medical record and once realised it will be very clear to see.

So will the NHS be doing this deliberately?

Now if this is the case the people behind it are idiots as there has already been a report claiming they might be responsible for 120,000 excess deaths. Excess .. deaths. That means above the average and no doubt is conservative.

Time to call it quits on overpaid morons running these public services of this is the case .. all of them .. gone! No 'ifs' and no 'buts'. Not fit for duty, very clearly.

Or .. is it like some believe and there is some culling going on?

Preposterous? Yeah you would think so but did I not read a report somewhere recently that a Tory MP stated we should just let old people die?! No doubt he was talking about his own parents and only that of the working classes and disabled?

You see many in power see us as slaves .. once we become useless at making them even more money in taxes and become an expense they want to hear of our demise or better yet .. be the direct cause of our demise.

Well then there is yet the other biggest Elephant in the room here and that is this ..

They have had the deaths and the problems presented to them several times over the years and yet ..

They continue to ignore them.

They have in recent ties had this reported in the national tabloids, four years late and with out of date numbers of deaths, while also having the reports put to them in the House of Commons and still continued to ignore them?! Stating that privacy of said individuals is for more important that their deaths. Despite the fact they are .. well .. dead?!

So my estimation is that the number of deaths is in excess of 150,000 and possibly 200,000 despite the fact that it was reported as 120,000 for benefit cuts.

Yeah except not only was that figure reported years ago and the suicide rate has sped up .. these were for disabled people .. ALONE!

So it is both conservative to the point of beyond ridiculous and not the whole picture either.

There as figure of 120,000 reported for the NHS too as I already mentioned and this could the a case of the exact same? Conservative and out of date so .. closing in on half a million British deaths at the hands of these welfare cuts?!

Oooh .. yeah sooo …

To now being doing this with the pills fiasco and the medical records is either stupidity of the highest order .. in which case they should be imprisoned and banned from ever working in public office for the rest of their lives or ..

This is part of a long term and fully intended plan I which case they should face the same punishments as Nazis they have spent years tracking down ..

Imprisoned for the rest of the natural lives.

So why is it they spent years chasing down Nazis and this goes on right under our nose and no one even reports it?

Is the crime treated differently depending on who it is you murder even en masse?

If you start asking yourself the same thing does the phrase 'Master Race' pop into your mind?

UNBEARABLY INTENSE PAIN

I a writing this more as a reminder .. to myself due to my damnable short term memory issues in which I can often forget things that have recently occurred.

Even when this involves intense pain.

Well I just had some pretty intense pain and .. in an area I have not experienced before. Oh it is an area where I have experienced, and still do, several pains. Though they have been quiet of late.

My feet.

I have experienced three pains in each of my feet, some of which are bilateral, meaning they occur in exactly the same place in both feet, applies to all limbs, and some are not.

But as I said this one was in a new area, was brief, thank God, and I am sitting here nervous that it might reoccur, whether this be in a few minutes or at any bloody point in the future!

This was on my right foot and on the outside edge of the sole of my foot, about an inch or so back from the base of my little toe.

This was a throbbing that just started out as uncomfortable but gradually increased in its intensity which itself increased in speed. As I was only just moving my foot about due to this discomfort it suddenly intensified extremely quickly to the point I was actually yelling out!

For me to actually yell out, or whimper at all due to pain, takes a fair amount of intensity. I have lived with various pains for many years now. In many different places. One of the most intense pains among others is what they call 'night cramps' where a calf muscle just decides to lock up in the middle of the night. In my case this is so bad that you cannot even talk .. which is a very weird feeling when you first realise you cannot talk and even on the following occasions. This has occurred with my late grandparents being present as well as one brother and my mother. On each occasion they thought I was being attacked. Lol. Me waking up yelling my head off, you see.

You find out because your asked what is wrong and you open your mouth but ... nothing comes out and your struck by confusion amidst the intense pain and wondering why nothing came out of your mouth.

There was one other pain in one other area that had the opposite effect to that of the night cramps whereby I am awake .. but passed out from the pain. I am .. not going into that one but I have previously and it is not nice.

Another one is chest wall pain which I am happy to say only occurred once but I do dread that this will one day return. You cannot breath in without pain and the more air you try to take in the more intense the pain gets. It literally feels like your only able to draw in about 25% of that you need.

Oh and what I call the toe-locking pain. I am unable to speak with that one too. This one has a 'tell' to the viewer because I will likely, or used to, collapse and roll around on the floor. Also unable to speak. However this has occurred far less in recent years and had previously figured a way to stop it .. provided I am not wearing any shoes. I have a deformed toe, not noticeable until I bend it backwards which it does too easily. When this pain starts the toe starts to bend backwards on its own in conjunction with a kind of spasm. If I have no shoes on and I grab this toe and refuse to let it bend back the pain will hold out at the level it is. If I let go it will just go through its motions and cause intense pain. Hold onto it long enough and eventually it calms down and everything returns to normal.

This new one was ... up there. I darted around on my sofa for the few seconds it occurred and was bloody relieved when it did not last very long and died down again.

I am currently without a shoe on my right foot!

Speaking of feet? I am still on the lookout for another pair of Ortholite trainers .. crap! I have been fully intending to do a Google search to find a pair but I have been forgetting to do this for well over a week now!

Excuse me while I go and .. Google search something.

ADDITIONAL: Yeah it has happened a couple more times .. luckily without my shoes on, lol.

For those that do not know I suffer with Fibromyalgia Syndrome. For those with Fibromyalgia Syndrome I have spent a long, long time with this condition and though it was only diagnosed something like three years ago I was asking about it for 13 years prior to diagnosing it myself and when I then looked into it and realised I had actually suffered from it for 20 years.

For 13 years they said it was Plantar fasciitis, well most of the thirteen years, and I spent tn of those years telling them it was not. It was not.

Have you been told you have Plantar fasciitis? Do your feet hurt the more you use them like mine do? Well ... look it up, Plantar fasciitis does not work like that!

Along with in excess of 6 pains that are spread across both feet I also suffer with pain in other areas along with short term memory loss. I have trouble dealing with heat above 20 degrees Celsius too. I also have high blood pressure which they 'think' is down to this condition.

Though I have only had half-arsed tests ... like a 48 hour heart monitor which was put on due to chest pains and heart palpitations. Unfortunately this was attached AFTER I re-started my blood pressure pills as requested and the symptoms went from every other day to every other week. Bizarrely it was also the NHS that told me to stop taking the blood pressure pills!

This is because they are instructed to NOT check things thoroughly to save money.

I have a separate knee issue, the NHS spotted twice, have a recording of, and still not on my medical records proper, though I DO have NHS documentation stating knee problems.

Ben checked for anything in particular?

Do a Google search to see how any tests there are for something like you were tested for and compare how many there are to how many you have had.

Oh and as for the search for another pair of Ortholite Shoes? I gave up looking locally and went through a myriad of online places before ordering a pair of Salomons from Amazon that are coming from where? Millets! Just like the last two I ordered! Lol.

I also now know, despite asking Millets and Ortholite in the past, that the soles that wor best for me as the ones with th 'injected EVA Heel Cups'.


Oh and I hav caught the NHS testing me eithr thee wrong way or on the wrong area and have don this several times with each. If  call them out on it I get called in for a meeting and they have attempted, and failed every time except with the GMC's help, to accuse me of being violent. Me? Violent? LMAO!

A BAD DAY YESTERDAY

Oh my word that must have been one of the worst days of my usual ailments I have ever had...EVER!

After going from a week of not being able to stay awake night before last I did not sleep at all. Annoyed by this and not wanting to stay in all day feeling like crap and being miserable all alone I decided to go out on my bike to catch the morning sunlight up at Lea Valley Park and get some wildlife on film and photo!

Also nearby there is a TK Maxx store and I was overdue a new jacket and thought I would get one more outdoor-sey and a little camouflage like but not ARMY camouflage I hate that!

Only I got up there too bloody early, it was also bitter bloody cold, the cloud cover not supposed to arrive until the afternoon suddenly appeared around 8am and the sunlight was gone?!

Added to the bitter cold was an even colder and quite strong northerly wind and I ended up on the grounds of the old ruins of Waltham Abbey itself where a very nice old gentleman walking his lurcher dog stopped and chatted for about an hour.

Eventually he was getting too cold, shook my hand made his farewells and off he went which I did not mind him keeping me busy as I had decided not to go n my nature hunt, it was too cold and the light was crap.

But then I realised I still had an hour and a half before TM Maxx opened?! So I convinced myself to have a very, VERY slow cycle INTO Lea Valley Park the entrance being immediately opposite TK Maxx.

I venture too far getting up near the goose hide before coming back. At the northern edge it seems to have gotten colder and stronger this bone chilling wind and several old pensioners on bikes complete with their grey hair greeted me good morning before then complaining about the bitter wind and temperature in April?!

Cycling back to Waltham Abbey I had realised I had done too much yet again and yet did not feel too bad when I entered to park and yet another reminder that I cannot do too much. I knew it would end on a bad day but what could I now do?

I have to live, you cannot live by sitting on your backside and regardless of what the politicians say that they can live on £55 per week thats an outright lie as I corrently cannot do it on £100 a week and am struglling to by the bits I need to improve the blogs on here to make money as well as my YouTube account that...

...I am beginning to realise I am being ripped off for and should have received my first payment MONTHS AGO?!

Hopefully after the 5th May and the 5th June have passed I will know for sure whether this is the case and as to how, why and WHO is doing it. The important point is I KNOW it is happening but cannot do much about that until more data comes in.

I got to TK Maxx and the two jackets I saw in the Enfield store were ... NOT THERE!! In fact as far as outdoor jackets go and the size of the place that had nothing under £150 I liked or would be of use to me. Though I should me receiving about that figure for my endeavours by now but am not and will not know when I will I can not spend that much money.

Now getting tired, angry and fatigued I left and I knew I was in pain from both my groin and a frozen shoulder I went into McDonalds to get a meal so I could take more painkillers.

I cycled to the Enfield Town TX Maxx store and wondered if I was going to make it. At one point the Heavy Duty D-LOCK I had purchased from Sainsbury's two weeks earlier had proved to be the same as another lock I had purchased from the same store the year before to be made of extremely sub-standard tools, materials and engineering when the holding bracket snapped clean off sending the big D-LOCK smashing into my left knee, leading me to swerve and almost crash, which could have then damaged both my expensive camera and binoculars, both work tools now!!

I could not believe it, tutted used several expletives out loud and then shouted "ehat a fucking world these people have turned it INTO!!!" got back on my bike and continued on. As I was approaching Enfield Town I was going in and out of consciousness on my bike but was relieved to get there. Locked it up, thereby giving my frozen should a bloody good rest. Bent over doubled and twisted my shoulders around to try and free up the tightened muscles, looked at people staring at me oddly and the cursed the fact I had left my walking stick behind, as I had not planned nor thought I would be out this long.

but right now I needed a drink and at least I was a lot closer to home now than I was earlier?! So I got the money I needed out of the ATM, crossed at the Pelican Crossing, bought a Root Beer and a Raisin & Biscuit Yorkie bar, took more painkillers and headed off to TK Maxx. Got in there and the coat I had decided to get on seeing it a week earlier I now realised was NOT suitable at all?! I was in pain at the time and rushing and had given it a quick look and at £30 thought it perfect but it had not enough pockets!! DAMN IT!!

I cycled the last couple miles home with nothing I went out the house for, still fighting a bitter wind, feeling cold in my nether regions despite using long Johns under DENIM JEANS?!

But what was REALLY DISCONCERTING was the fact that my eyes kept closing as I was riding and I was fighting to stay awake on the bike despite the bitterly biting cold wind and the masses of pain I was now experiencing?!

I had been fighting to stay awake as I did not want to sleep during the daytime and then be up all night. I thought I had left that problem behind but apparently not and when you have trouble being mobile for very long then burning enough energy to sleep becomes a pain in the fecking arse!

I managed somehow to get home and I do not recall much of what happened but I know for a fact that I did not get to see neither of the two Family Guy episodes nor the America Dad episodes despite me being on my bed LONG BEFORE they started?!

I woke up today at 1am and have now not gone out, but have a bug to get out as per ususal, because my landlord comes at 4pm for his rent and I need to give it to him.

Now I have made an appointment to see my GP but will not be until a WEEK after he gets back...

Ooh how bloody useful that is I just have a day of hell and I still have an inordinate wait for an appointment I made four days BEFORE my day of hell?!

Now when I see him I am now going to tell him straight about the pain and the help I have needed for sometime....ohh thinking this is a good order to catch him out actually. He WILL be negative (unless he has personally seen this blog of course) and say "there are none, there is nothing" which I will record and put on here of course. I will then get a little frustrated with him, as I am bound to. Then I will show him the Neurology letter and ask how the guy KNEW me before I even walked into his room?! Why dis he lie to me that Domperidone was the ONLY drug available for vomiting and dizziness?

Yup APRIL really will turn out to be revealing....not forgetting EXPLOSIVE!!

LMAO!

Happy Days!!

LMAO!!!