Wow.
This .. video was .. unexpected.
I saw the title to this and I was .. intrigued and wanted to see what it said. About loners.
I've been a longer for a fair old while and I've struggled to understand more of myself in all that time.
- Why I feel the things I do.
- Why I do the things I do.
- Why I know the things I do.
Many of these were answered and I was quite surprised how much it got right. In fact the only thing I thought was wrong was then explained with the following trait. This was the thing about being calm.
But then I suppose I've had a lot more than most to contend with?
But it goes on to say that I slink away and try to .. recompose myself and come back a different person. This is actually quite true and not only had this occurred several times .. but it's been noticed by others too.
Right now I'm trying to find my way out of something .. again. Except my hands are tied and I really do not like having my hands tied.
My hands won't get untied until mid May, around four weeks time. Hopefully.
There are other possibilities in the works but they don't exactly fill me with confidence. Not right now they don't .. despite a contract being signed. There's been a very noticeable drop off in activity .. communication and all promises .. predictions made have failed to .. occur. In fact one was made recently .. and all because they have no idea how to use a fucking phone we lost out to a deadline.
So .. yeah .. hands are tied and .. it's having a negative effect. No that's the understatement of my life as it's a living nightmare that's already lasted four weeks longer than I predicted. Or planned for.
This is because I got a situation wrong that was also getting beyond my control partly caused by my health condition. No. Mostly caused by my health condition and the web of lies by a .. liar.
So .. I have the option to do something .. at least I think but .. I could get bogged down for six months and cost a lot of .. money. Again.
I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be our how I will be there .. or .. exist in my next location. There are, in fact, four possible locations I could end up in. Yes it's that mad. Two of them are around ten miles from here and the other two two hundred miles from here. Yup .. told you it was mad.
I'm also being picked on and bullied. Funny .. because I never thought of it as bullying before but someone else used the term and I realised this is what they do. Along with the bullying there is also the lecturing, about stupid insignificant things, and some .. bizarre behaviour. It's .. driving me to insanity.
It's so frustrating when you both need and want to do something at the same time and you can't.
So this video .. made a lot of sense. Much more than I expected it to of in honest. I'm wondering if I should look into this a little more?
No shrink or counsellor has stated any of these things to me.
Yeah I can put things away in a box and buy them but .. not when several of them are screwing up your life currently.
So I appear to be empathetic and I guess this blog kind of proves that .. my drive to help people .. well those deserving of help at any rate.
I am in contact .. well .. on and off I am in contact with someone and I am expecting to have a .. proposition put my way. I do not know if I ever will or if I ever will talk about it. Depends on what that proposition turns out to be.
All these public services have a hell of a lot to answer for.
