Thursday, 14 December 2017


I should have really done this weeks ago but .. with a new house and four children, two Autistic and one .. extremely disruptive, needy and wanting to be the centre of attention and screaming the place down and stamping is feet every time he is asked to go to bed .. it is bad.

The older one is nearing puberty too ..

So we think we, or rather they, are moving into a more, but not totally, suitable house.

The mother is tired all the time .. has sleep apnea, specific women's problem I will not divulge, Fibromyalgia that causes a long list of problems which is a sleep depravation disorder at the end of the day.

She is tired all the time and always doing something while four children are always at her feet demanding things.

I think there is some pyschology going on here because needy-boy was and still thinks he is the centre of the universe, has no problem with a sister two years his junior going to bed two hours before him but flips out if he is asked to go to bed before a brother that is five years older than him.

I have tried to explain this over and over but it just does not compute.

So .. I have been thinking long and hard as well as mentioning to the mother about things that would make her life easier.

  • Fortunately there is a large kitchen, three times bigger than the current one so ..
  • WALL UNITS out of reach and with doors because ..
    • If they see stuff the house gets screamed down until they get it and it is all gone!
  • CHILD GATES on the stairs and living room doorway
  • LOCKS for doors and cupboards
  • Way better and bigger COOKER
  • CARPETS .. for Five Story House with 3 Bedrooms
    • TELEVISIONS for the Autistic Children a must
    • TELEVISION for needy-boy
    • Because they all end up in mums bed who then cannot sleep and then has to get all these children up, dressed and to school on time!
  • Much Larger FRIDGE FREEZER.. it empties not long after being filled
  • SOFA
  • STAIN RESISTANT CLOTHING for two with Autism
  • A bloody CAR
  • CHILD CAR SEATS that Autistic Children cannot get out of
  • That then means CAR INSURANCE
  • Overpriced CAR TAX
  • Two Autistic children really show you that familiarity breeds content
  • Play things for what will be a real garden
  • Garden needs work soo GARDENING STUFF
  • PLAY THINGS LIKE SLIDES for Autistic children for garden
  • Garden SHED
  • New GARDEN DOOR with windows so children can be watched (only if it is decided the house is suitable at a later date)
  • PAINT for every single ROOM! LOL!
  • BOOKS ON CHILDREN WITH AUTISM (As there are no libraries left and no bloody time to go there because there is no bloody help & support!)
  • Set Up two Crowd Funders to Help where my own help is merely time and small amounts of what is left of my savings ..

People knowledgeable on children with Autism might know about other things, which we would be grateful to hear about in the comments.

Many of these got sacrificed because I needed to help with my family and move 250 miles away to a strange place I do not know and everyone feels .. different. With my own disability and heart and chest issues.

  • New PC BUILD with as many CPU cores as possible (12 to 16 AMD Threadripper)
    • For 42 Mega Pixel photo-editing and 4K video editing
    • Can be used for gaming I upload to my YouTube Channel
    • Home Broadband (using mobile currently – NOT VIRGIN!)
    • (All above was sacrificed)
  • AMD RYZEN 6 CORE LAPTOP (Photo Editing – Video Editing on the Move)
  • Sony 100-400mm A-Mount zoom lens (was sacrificed)
  • A MONTH IN PEAK DISTRICT (might not happen)
  • A MONTH IN SCOTLAND (was sacrificed)
  • A MONTH IN WALES (might not happen)
  • Trip to China with Camera (was sacrificed)
  • Car checked over .. CV Joint replacement, Top Up Cooling Bottle Replacement (was sacrificed)
  • Camera Flash (was sacrificed)
  • Typhoon H Camera Drone or Mavic Pro for Wildlife Photography and Birds Eye View Videos (was sacrificed)
  • Celestron Reflector Telescope of 8 Inches for Astrophotography and YouTube Channel and Astronomy Blog
  • Though I would be over the moon to just get my savings up a little (would kill anxiety issues) the PC Build, the 100-400mm zoom lens and car given the once over!
  • Set Up my own Patreon Account so people could donate .. thanks to the evil UK government and their lies, tricks and cheats ..

If only it got moving by just a few pounds, the crowd funding that is, so that I would give this mother something to feel positive about and some feeling of hope?


It is difficult to stay positive about anything. I know this better than most .. well most that are living at any rate.

When I set up the two crowd funding sites, long story, the person I did it for turned to me after a couple if days and said “I don't think they are going to work”.

What spurred me into doing it at the time was the change in her attitude that after thinking she would get some help form the authorities because of all their mistakes that suddenly there would be none. I had also been hearing this from others as well as being informed that the authorities do not do any of the things they used to do years before. I was confident they would do their duties as that was how it came across. But then I started to get concerned.

I am not only amazed that there has not been a serious incident to one of the children's safety in this house but amazed that this has not been picked up on by visitors. Well not the social workers or victim support.

I have also been amazed that they have not seen nor aired the issues we would face if things remained the same in this house. Instead we have heard this from others and I am afraid it begs the age old question ..

What is the point in these people and their wages, whether it be from our taxes or some naïve person's donations?

Other social workers I know, a social worker of 25 years, and a disability solicitor for Mary Ward Legal back in Camden in London along with an Internal Investigator for William Hill with a child of her own and a list of others have all been shocked at both the amount of things that have occurred with all of us as well as the lack of help.

Yesterday the young mum ws at another hospital visit which I thought was about the previous biopsy. I had been looking after two of the children, with Autism, and during that time I had been called by the aforementioned social worker I know and the disability solicitor. After hearing what they had to say ad then them hearing their shock at the latest events I told them that the young mum was in hospital. After coming off the phone there was a knock t the door and I assumed it was the young mum. I had been dreading what she had t tell me because she attended a hospital that I was told doubled up as a cancer hospital and a hospice. But it was the eldest child returning from school and that threw me.

His mother had been taken to hospital by her mother and they should have returned before the eldest child with his younger brother as they were in a car. I asked the boy about this and I said I wondered of his mother's friend was bringing the other brother home? He said that he had seen her and that she was walking along with her daughter .. but not with his younger brother. I gave it five minutes and started to worry.

After another five minutes I decided to call and it turned out she had picked up the second boy and had gone off to Asda. She also said they had to take another biopsy. “Oh OK .. another weeks wait, great!” I said in response.

I spent twenty minutes wondering how in the hell they took a biopsy previously and gotten it wrong? 'What the hell?!' I kept thinking. Also I knew that a breast scan was due any day so we would be having to wait for two results, possibly, and that did not include whatever they are goig to do about a third lump. Though there might already be some answers to some of this.

As it turned out that appointment was the breast scan .. so they had to take another biopsy from that too! The young mum of 24 had gotten the days mixed up and so had I as a result.

While she was out at this appointment I had been trying to work on things, write some blogs, look up what I hd done thus far with the crowd funding and check my Patreon account and ask myself why the mum had been so negative about it.

Because I had been negative about so much in the past and like my sister stated to me a few times “How many times has someone in our family tried to do something and it has not worked out?!” A lot is the answer to that one.

But you have to keep trying no matter what because if you do not keep trying different things then you might s well give and go home. Some do and this unfortunately ends up as suicide and this is how it has been for me. Until I win or .. give in with the ultimate of consequences I do not know what else to do. Even when it often feels like it is slowly killing me.

I long to return to London .. even for just a couple of days and even with half or most of that driving because it would give me a break. I do have thing that require me being in London because it is costing me money, like belongings in storage. I tried to hold onto too much stuff, did not know it would take me so long to get back. Did not know that nothing would come into the fact I had £35,000 inheritance stolen from me, was not informed. I did not know that the extra £4,000 payment would only be £800. I did not know that I would not get my £750 back from my previous landlord and without reason and after I turfed the front garden for them before I left. I did not know finances here were so bad. I had no idea I would spend as much as I have, even buying a car that has now gone. I did not know that the authorities would not be supporting the family as they should. I did not know she would not be getting the extra money you sued to get, despite three with disabilities and I did not know they refuse to recognise a disability until they are four years old. Oh and I did not know about the massive fuck up, or corruption, take your pick, that is the HMRC over claiming back thousands of pounds of single mothers they have no right too.

Of course I never thought about bedroom tax, the DWP tricks and lies I know about only too well and the feck up they have done to the welfare system and of course Universal Credit.

I never expected them to stab me in the back .. just prior to moving 250 miles away to a place I do not like to help a 24 year old mother with two Autistic children and two other children that they are not fecking helping either.

So yeah .. that is just the very short version of one of the biggest horror stories that is ongoing in the UK and we have absolutely no clue to the outcome.

We are unduring a living nightmare that may have the ultimate consequences and no one gives a shit.

So why would this 24 year old other of four, with two Autistic, herself with one disability they do nothing about or for and three cancer scares that have just endured months of domestic abuse and stalking from the perpetrator from a prison cell? Why not, indeed.

So I was looking around at the crowd funding sites and my blogs when I realised that the GoFundMe and JustGiving sites were either not showing, not working or I had not included them on some blogs completely?! Dumb-arse!

So last night after a day of some positives and a few negatives I decided to mess around with the layouts of the blogs I had.

I then bloody realised something else .. there was no bloody adverts showing up on my blogs .. or at least some of them. I have one were I have never been able to figure out how to put the same Adsense ads onto my WordPress blog too. Had totally forgotten about that over the years. No wonder I was still waiting for my first payment five months after expecting it.

These bloody blog hosts have a lot to answer for, Google and Blogger more than anyone! I sent them feedback ripping them a new one over it!

I could not even get the Adsense widgets to appear on the layout screen and though I did not get it right .. I did eventually manage to get advert to show up again.

My earnings had hit £46 something like a year ago but .. then nothing much happened and it has only gone up by a single pound after that and I could not figure out why this was? It simply made no sense.

Anyway I think I have partially corrected this .. demanded answers of the God-complex staff at Blogger and fixed the links to the Crowd Funding sites.

There was some talk about an ad blocker or something I remember reading about some time ago. I wondered whether I was a victim of all this fake news borllacks and wondered of the BBC had once again stuck the knife into my family?

Of course it could be someone else sticking the knife in and the numbers produced from two identical blogs hosted by different people .. simply make no sense whatsoever.

Still I think I have corrected the adverts in part at least .. fixed the links to the crowd funding sites as well as the links to my Patreon account.

Have to look up 'teams' to which they keep mentioning on one of the crowd funding sites, I think it was JustGiving as opposed to GoFundMe? Don't know how that works.

I just hope that something happens that gets rid of the negativity that I hide and this young mother shows.

Even if it only a small start .. just to show her, ahem and me too really, that there are caring people out there and they are not all amoral.

The Crowd Funding and Patreon links are on the top right, or atop the side banner .. her first as this is primary to me and mine below, lol.

Wednesday, 13 December 2017


Well, well, well.

Hello, hello, hello .. what do we 'ave 'ere then?!

Sorry .. wrong part of the country. That is where I am from and what they used to say and likely before my time to. Just.

I have been at almost everyone of late. The Local Council in Wirral. The NHS from back down south and maybe .. just maybe .. the Wirral NHS Trust too? Possibly from four to eight different directions at once. Though partly this may involved the NHS's higher echelons? We will see?

I have been at the Police lately too. Never expected that one.

Never expected this one either ..

Wirral police officer sacked after making false witness statements

Oh dear.

They are not very good at collecting evidence in a hit and run that became a murder inquiry either.

They are also very odd at making statements and after answering with just a brief description the office would spend ages writing things down and I thought he was a descendent of Tolstoy?!

Hmm .. I wonder if this was him in the link below?!

Clothes covered with the victim's blood remained here for weeks from an incident near Kings Mount Road, Christchurch Road in Birkenhead.

Hmm .. this could be a real problem come January 2018 which could then become a real threat of violence that could end up with someone being killed and me winding up in prison?!

Better watch this space!

Mum with disability and 'C' scares and our children, two Autistic, were threatened by someone that if the Police .. fecked up .. could return. Obsessed ad dangerous and the reason why there are Crowd Funding links on the right. Would be a dream come true if I could get them all out of the area completely?!

These public services never learn and I am feeling confident that the hardest ones to teach a lesson are going to be the corrupt HMRC.


That is the line that was actually included in a letter from an Orthapaedic Surgeon to my GP at the time.

I had realised it as odd and later realised it was code .. fob him off because he looks fit.

I was also later lied to .. had a row face to face .. he tried to trick me by calling my bluff which unluckily for him was a double-bluff.


That was the first time I had them lying to my face. Several more quickly followed and the recordings started either just after this or just before it.

If you look fit you will get fucked off unless its something that either will appear obviously quickly, a household name or kill you quickly.

Unfortunately for them the condition they lied about I later self-diagnosed and then later discovered they had known about it for at least two years.

Also unfortunately for them the serious sides to it that they either gambled on not appearing, high blood pressure, postural hypotension causing grey-outs and black-outs, effect on your heart and chest as well as eyes and other things that can be picked up on .. failed.

I have all the above and that does not even include the fact that the bit that everyone seems to have ignored is the research and reports to state that Fibromyalgia has strong links to suicides and cancer which I already linked to in a previous post.

When People Think Your Illness Isn't Real Because You Don't Look 'Sick Enough

This is the infamous line I have heard for fucking years, 13 to be exact, from friends and family because the NHS fucking misdiagnosed over and over again and then lied.

Now the DWP pull the shit on you too because they know most of the public are stupid idiots that think like this.

I always put the word 'failure' or 'failures' in the tags or labels but this annoys me, because they are nothing of the kind.

Not just to me too and someone close to me has three cancer scares and waiting four months fpr two children to be listed as seriously Autistic.

No fucking help which is why I spent a lot of my inheritance and started up two crowd funding campaigns, dont even ask, with GoFundMe and JustGiving and a Patreon account for me!


Well what do you know?

On that Parliament page to do with the Work & Pensions Select Committee I go and learn that there also exists a Health Select Committee?!

In the report I sent in there was a lot of highlighting of the failures on the NHS in my case and as any one who has followed this long enough knows ..

.. I have a long history of things being missed for many, many years along with misdiagnosis and of course lies and falsifications.

I also know that with local government no department ever bothers to walk across the hallways or even check their computers for any or other details regarding things like mitigating circumstances, for example.

So with those things in mind I sent a copy and paste of that report I sent to the Work & Pensions Select Committee to the Health Select Committee too.

Not sure if it details everything? Well to do with the NHS at any rate but it does state a few things at least.

I would have mentioned that both my disability and that of my daughter's have been missed. I would have mentioned that some things to do with someone close to me have been missed and that we have a list of scares to get through end even if we get through them .. serious issues still exist.

We still have disabilities and .. so do two children who they refuse to diagnose until 4 years of age and we were told that a visit to the school would be needed by a paediatrician. Weird because everyone else are under no illusions as to what it is. Schools, social workers, health visitors and others and even mothers of children who have Autism.

So either this is a delay tactic to save money which in this case is not only bad because of the level of Autism involved but the fact that it effects two out of four children when there is already a difficult child in the house.

So let us see if anything comes from that?

Of course on both reports it states failures of local councils as well as the Police so .. will anything get passed on by this .. Parliament?

All remains to be seen.


There are various ends.

And there are various dreams of those ends.

These ends might not be what you may well be picturing in your heads right now, or maybe they are depending on how you searched to get to this page.

I have spoken many times about my disability of Fibromyalgia and the number of symptoms it causes. Man of these are unbearable and others potentially dangerous. New ones have appeared that I believe to be dangerous and have had me ask about having my feet amputated and replaced with mechanical ones.

Others make we want to die. Purely because they are both unbearable and .. simply not dealt with or ignored. Until now but they are still not understanding of the seriousness of the situation nor the backlash should something go wrong. Even more annoyingly the one that has me longing for death can be dealt with in any one of three ways. Two involve the correct prescriptions with an understanding that my short term memory problems are .. well, problematic and actually compound the problem.

Another one of those is the fact that I have been led down a garden path .. have enough money to set myself up doing what it is I love best presently and .. had the proverbial rug pulled from beneath me leaving me with an ever shrinking amount of savings and minus four items .. one 100-400mm lens, though professionals use the more expensive f2.8 300mm lens and f4 500mm lens. The first would be enough and it is a third of the price of the 300mm and sixth of the price of the 500mm. The second is a flash, yeah I did not even manage to get that. The third is a camera drone .. for cliff faces for sea birds and tree tops for things like Purple Emperor Butterflies I have wanted to film for a number of years now. These are challenges and I like challenges and being successful then you tend to be more successful with it. I also had to build a new PC to be able to edit the very high definition RAW file photographs and 4K video. You simply cannot do it with a budget built PC. I also wanted to have a go at making cages .. out of glass and wood to sell to people wanting to grow Orchids, something I am adept at. So I needed a couple of DeWalt items, a Festool Circular Saw and a worktable.

I have a dozen blogs and the camera would help most of them while the work tools would help both my Orchid blog and my YouTube channel.

Right here and ow there is another pause on all that and one I did not expect to go on anywhere near as long as it has.

So I was led down a garden path, got all my plans and purchases accepted week after week for three months or more and then as I did them they all got cancelled. So I was encouraged to spend the money and then was told the proverbial rug had been pulled around a week after the date I went self-employed.

I was tricked and I was lied to.

A shame then that they sent me emails all the way through and that I recorded every single NEA meeting and every single Job Coach meeting.

I should not be experiencing my anxiety. But I am. The day I received an email from that Work & Pensions Select Committee I was happier. I had also received my first Universal Credit payment too so that was another worry out of the way. But there are still many others and what is primary are the results to three tests, one due any time now and a breast scan that is any day now too. Tomorrow or Friday I believe. Then there is the stomach scan which is itself developing some very odd problems and pains. Many seem to be similar to ones I have had but not entirely sure on all of them. There was a pain being felt last night.

As stated previously and due to the problems with Autism there are four children and two afflicted with the aforementioned condition.

Last night there was a conversation in this house with the other of a single child out of three that has Autism and he is violent. Even the Police have been called to the house. The boy is eight.

Some questions that has been wondered about were asked and I remember someone stating that the children get worse and in all honesty .. it is fucking hard to imagine things getting harder. The older of our two with Autism is already a bloody nightmare and they tell us the youngest o going to be worse. It simply does not bear thinking about.

We were explaining that the older one goes into a meltdown now because she wants to sleep in mum's bed every night. There is only one reason for this .. her room gets locked and this does not happen with her mum's room, therefore she knows she can come swanning down the stairs several times and she does. Every night. She demands things like TV programs, TV's in the bedroom and even when she try to briber her with going to bed in her own room, with sweets, and get those promises they are broken. Within ten minutes at times.

The other mother of an Autistic child said that they were indeed going to get worse when they get older and that her child does not even have a bed in his room because he always sleeps I his mother's bed. He refused to go to school but there was some rumour that the authorities turned up t the house and marched him to school?

I constantly ask myself how this young mother is going to cope and if anything was to happen to her, which seems likely due to the way the Doctors and hospitals are all acting nervous and have called us in six times in a few weeks and and seems no sign of ending, how the fuck will I cope?!

I ask myself that if we get through these test result OK or with some successful operative procedure will my anxiety finally go? Or will I still have these feelings of absolute dread that I do not understand?

At least I know one substance to cut out that seems to magnify what they call 'the night dreads' and turn them up to 11. But it may well go up to '11' or higher all on its own?

So when you have had this sort of thing long enough you start to picture the various endings to it all and you hope that they come. In the end you do not care.

I am one that would not like to lose my mobility and I certainly would not like to lose my independence. I get too .. hyped up and I am already having feelings of missing getting out and about amongst nature with my camera stuff .. I long for it at times.

But the seriously dwindled state of my savings has made me somewhat nervous .. I case things go wrong and .. as I am not clear yet if I am getting even the proper and normal amount of Universal Credit I am even more wary of doing anything.

I just hope that by March, at least, something has worked out because the Spring, Summer and Autumn can be very productive times for me. I can be active in the Winter too and often used to be but due to hibernation .. there was always less opportunities. Except if and when it became picturesque and maybe with .. architecture.

Each time you go through 'episodes' it seems to go on forever and you start to think it will never end but it does. Eventually. When the authorities stop coming after you with a proverbial axe and holding hands out for funds that do not exist an any universe.

In the last week or two I have created four opportunities of this latest episode coming to an end .. for most things and for both of us.

  • My Patreon account to help me
  • GoFundMe to help these kids and mum .. due to confusion with them ..
  • JustGiving to help these kids and there mother
  • Contact from Work & Pensions Select Committee to possibly help all of us

For the time being I have to keep on suffering and am still trying to get things done but what with Christmas and all the Hospitals, Doctors, supposedly moving into a bare empty house, memory issues, pain, anxiety and this damned chest/heart thing and someone else's stomach and now nausea thing, two autistic children .. one needy boy who is now copying the oldest Autistic and having a meltdown about sleeping in his mother's bed too.

I told you that needy-boy was a problem?

Mother in pain .. decides to have a bath .. need-boy, NOT Autistic, has already been screaming as loud as he can 'I DON'T .. WANT .. TO GO TO BED!' for half an hour who then makes every excuse to come out of his room, get sent back and balling his eyes out for not getting his own way. Keeping the oldest Autistic one awake and encouraging her out of her mother's room where she sreamed the place down when told she cannot sleep in their. Needy-boy, he is the one in the picture on the crowdfunding site, taken years ago and is even crying in that picture too when I knew he would be like this, is also winding up and fighting with the Autistic sister.

I heard the mother explode from the bathroom!

I could not go up and exert any authority because .. well she was in the bath! LOL.

Meltdown, meltdown, meltdown is all it is and they are even at school part to most of the day. One here now but not too bad on her own, the youngest.

They need to be separated and they absolutely need their on bedrooms .. seriously need their own bedrooms. Or things ill get far, far .. worse.

Oh but there is a new house that is more suitable. Yeah I did say MORE suitable. They still have to be paired up in bedrooms but they are bigger. One at one end and another at the other.

Yeah needy-boy with still end up winding everyone up including his brother who will go through puberty soon, meaning needy-boy gets black eyes a lot.

Yeah and the Devil's Angel will still wake up three time a night .. wake up her little sister and the two of them will have meltdowns throughout the day and that is without needy-boy who goes around winding all three others up.

I do see mistakes, sure. But it is not my place to say. There is too much stress going on and not my place anyway.

But then I am in panic mode because I think I might be suddenly thrust into this and it is all my sole responsibility?!

EDIT: The the discovery of and of course lack of being informed, despite the inordinate amount of waiting for them because they are so important and know so much, of GPs, Doctors and Specialists failing to tell me that  my now damaged eyesight, heart and blood pressure could be affected by Fibromyalgia because they refused to send me to a specialist and even when I tricked the into doing so .. only saw me once.

Didn't tell me it as behind the anxiety or that this could lead to the loss of the use of your legs on occasion?! Or that there are links to both high suicides, oh how I now get that as well as cancer and likely other things, like aneurysms which is what my father died of at 56.

Good God, man. Someone shoot me please! I would be far more humane.

Two videos of the two oldest kids from a few years back ..

Needy-boy when he started being needy some years ago ..

Oldest again ..

Tuesday, 12 December 2017


Jesus Christ!

Here is something I thought I would never .. EVER witness in the UK.

There is an ITV News report linked below that states that schools have been washing children's clothes and charging their mobile phones for them .. because despite handing out no money we are all expected to pull smart phones and laptops out of our arses!

But that was not the most shocking thing ..

 .. that was a sharp rise in cases of children with Rickets?!


I have not heard of this condition mentioned since I was at school when one black school kid had it and it was explained to me that Afro-Caribbean people suffered from it due to the lack of sunlight, or its weakness in the UK. One case. Nearly 40 years ago. That was it!

But here I am watching a news piece by ITV about kids in Morecombe, of all places, having cases of Rickets rising up.

This is from malnutrition.

I simply do not believe it and .. well if they can continue on with this then there must be a fuck load of things the government are not telling us ..

.. while still tossing obscene amounts of our taxes around to other countries as if it was confetti?!

This was the second part of a two part piece and it involves two schools in Lancashire according to their website?


Well this is a funny one .. local one too.

Well .. local to where I now live.

There is an old market square in Birkenhead's Town Centre which is a shadow of its former self. I used to come here over twenty years ago on a fairly regular basis for around three and a half years.

Came up here twenty years ago and it had changed and not in a good way .. those locals I had known from here even admitted that to me.

Another ten years and it is worse still. The stories I am hearing beg belief, the things linked to me or that I am tagged in beg belief also.

That market is more or less empty, especially the interior section of the market.

Just a few days ago we walked past several stalls and all seemed fine .. the stalls there looked no different to those I had seen years earlier.

However I had heard there were plans to do something with the site, or I assumed they were speaking of that whole shopping precinct. I asked how in the world they were going to do that with the financial climate the way that it was. They said they wondered he same thing.

Then tonight I get tagged in a story on Facebook on the Wirral Echo page and it seems there has been a raid. Claims of counterfeit goods of the Premier League and Disney stuff from a stall and closed it down. Yet the stall has been there for "years and bloody years" as one put it to me.

So why the sudden noticing now of a stall selling counterfeit stuff, though I think 'counterfeit' might be stretching it a bit in this instance. 'Counterfeit' implies exact copies of things, not the bad use of characters and logos.

Of course I read the line I have heard over and over again for many bloody years in situations like this ..

The supply of counterfeit goods can also be linked to serious, organised crime and the funding of illegal operations. This is not a victimless crime.

Yeah .. because all the actors for Disney and Premier League footballers and the club owners are having to beg in the streets and sleep on park benches.

Some guy printing t-shorts and pictures in his shed somewhere a few miles away is connected to serious organised crime.

Fuck me .. it does not say a lot about the Police now does it. How many times have they been called incompetent by various local councils right around the UK? I mean .. sitting right there with thousands of people walking past this stall for fucking years .. a big crime syndicate right out i the open in broad daylight? Merseyside Police must be more thick than I gave them credit for?!

What people are already saying is that this is a land grab, pure and simple.

I can guarantee that over the next week I am going to hear a hell of a lot of conspiracy theories ..


OK this is a .. weird one.

I've been thinking about this all evening and .. well .. I'm not sure I'm going to finish this without looking up more links.

I watched a documentary on Netflix and I was taken aback at what I was seeing and hearing.

It sounded like something from a book about the Illuminati?!

Say whatever you want regarding theories on the Illuminati. I can't say anything simply because I don't know.

But the claims made over the years regarding their sordid escapades not only doesn't seem that far fetched but stranger things have been uncovered.

In fact it might be fair to state that the strangest thing about the Illuminati is their name. Except any group of people that night exist .. well would come up for something very like it when calling themselves something.

Unfortunately any existence of any such group will not be made up of anyone good, that's for sure. Because of there did exist anyone good within a secretive organisation, with that kind of money and influence .. a lot more of the criminals and sickos would have been caught a lot earlier.

Hmm maybe I should start a similar group? A group of do-gooders that only act to bring about justice?

I digress.

What I heard was that there may well be a cure for cancer?!

Like an episode of Family Guy there's a claim that Cyanide from Apricot kernels fight cancer cells.
Now of note is that in the court argument by the large health organisations they claimed there was no evidence of cancer cells being reduced.

Well that turns out to be reported over and over again as not being true?!

I kid you not.

It is also reported that despite cyanide being a poison potentially fatal to humans and does kill cells across the spectrum .. it attacks cancer cells more than normal cells.

It's a if this cyanide has a particular dislike to cancer cells? Which I am finding fascinating and in eager to find out if their exists further evidence to support this.

There's certainly plenty of people and websites talking about it and incidents of people using the kernels on themselves too!

I've even read that there is evidence that Apricot kernels have been used for hundreds as well as thousands of years?

Bizarre! Simply bizarre. If true.

If true also potentially very damaging and will certainly do a lot in the long run.

Also those without £20,000 per year to layout for Herceptin are obviously going to give this a go. I know I would were my circumstances different.

Now a break before I look up more on my laptop tomorrow..

.. and then there is another site, based in Canada, debunking it.

I think what we have here is a lot of suspicions based on the way the big drug companies act, how much money they make and a lot of government and drug company conspiracy theories you here about .. kind of meeting in the middles and muddying the waters.

That is where it gets difficult.

Even a scene from Family Guy jokes about Carter Pewderschmidt hiding a cure for cancer from the world so that the drug companies keep making billions.

This is one of the major problems of the western world slowly bought on by the mainstream media and their business experts in particular. It long ago become offensive to hear about the many billions each company makes. It almost seems like an endless list of them.

Yet so many people are in financial difficulties and this number has been growing for years now and I have no idea when it will end. Very likely, never.

The part that needs to be determined in all this is does cyanide have more of an effect on cancer sells that normal healthy cells and can this be capitalised on?

Though I also that too many nut-jobs think anything to do with nature is safe and look at nature through rose-tinted spectacles. I have stated it over and over again .. yes .. it may look beautiful and natural to us but nature is a war zone no matter where you are. In some places this is very obvious but in others are not.

Take a walk in the Serengeti and it would soon become obvious that nature is a dangerous pace for us because of Lions, African Hunting Dogs, Hyenas, Hippos and Crocodiles. Because they are big and they are all capable of killing and/or eating us.

Take a stroll in a forest in England and there is little danger and so seems serene and peaceful as you listen to the birds singing. What people fail to realise is that they are predators that would home in on the bird-song and kill and eat the birds. Like Sparrowhawks. But they do not attack us so it is all peaceful and serene. If all Sparrowhawks spawned into Pteradactyls overnight that walk in the forest would become very different.

Even the plants are battling each other for space, light and nutrients.

And the page suggesting the debunking .. the Montreal Gazette .. 

Monday, 11 December 2017


Well I have to say .. yet again ..

They are always managing to surprise me, every single last one of them. All the public services leaving aside the Ambulance Service and the Fire Service.

This time it is once again the NHS .. but this time it has something of a little twist to it.

Another NHS Trust only ..

This one is the King's College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust?!

Saaaay whaaaat?!

OK .. that one is a shocker!

Well the only thing that could have surprised me as much as that is .. Guy's Hospital or St Thomas' Hospital being involved. A hospital, the former not the latter, that I was involved with and had a letter from the omitted a lot of things that were said and done at the actual hospital appointment.

But . this was not the first time. Nor the second, third, fourth of fifth.

At this rate we are going to have veritable mountains of corpses of public services gone rotten, corrupt or just plain failing dying a slow death or dead already.

I could never say I was surprised at this as I first suspected it over then years ago. I then spent several years realising it was pretty much everywhere. My own research was over 6 GP Surgeries and the same amount of hospitals with the same result 100% of the time. Even though it was unlikely to remain at 100% of a countrywide investigation was done it would not drop by a great deal, that I would bet on.

But even of this was to drop to 50% the reality would be one that we would spend decades trying to live down. Or at least the politicians and their puppeteers would with the latter wondering just how many people were no investigating to try and find out who they are and expose them.

All the time only giving a crap about themselves and not a jot to what they have done to Great Britain and a large portion of it's people, that who for me .. are what makes Great Britain, Great Britain.

Except the previously halo has no slipped down to a point where it physically rests on one shoulder and is in danger of falling off altogether!

I saw this on the BBC and thought you should see it: Major NHS trust put in special measures -


Yeah ..

There are times when it is not easy being here.

Others think they have the whole system worked out and want you to help in ways that .. you simply do not want to.

I just failed in doing that and this could have led to a disciplinary for job that has not even started yet.

This is a job I m not sure that is going to work anyway as according to what I have read you can only keep a piss-poor amount of money and yet it is being targetted because of a new house which is going to need carpeting for a start.

The due to the children involved it is going to need all manner of other things besieged and I even I can draw up a pretty decent list. Just from the little time I have spent here.

Oddly this attitude has changed from the one that thought that the authorities had made so many mistakes and that so many failed to turn up qt meetings that as an apology and to make up for their long list of consistent failures .. that this would all be provided for them, which in m mind they should be doing anyway. They, at least, used to! Even with just your average children they used to provide everything a mother needed.

So it is a little hard trying to keep track of everything.

I had been placed on the spot .. twice and I received a phone-call regarding me being put forward as a reference. But being placed on the spot I quickly answered accordingly. This was a professional reference and .. I this instance there was a conflict of interest which I was not even aware could be the case with a professional reference. Oh well .. you learn something new all the time.

The thing is I think I was expected to .. fib?

This is not nor never has been my policy and if I had it could have created complications for me, my endeavours, getting what I am owed, getting any compensation that may or may not be due and .. a certain Work & Pensions Select Committee?

For a job that is probably not needed, only out of desperation without checking the facts, tht I m not sure can be preformed at any rate.

To be fair .. the person in question was quickly asked on the spot .. and even asked if she could come back the same day .. like within the hour to do some training. At the same time they was asked for a professional reference and what with my degree and turning down a Doctorate at Middlesex University they just instinctively said my name.

Well that was that. Luckily I hve since had another conversation and it has not caused any tricky situations but .. I just do not lie and I thought this, at least, was understood. So even without my memory problems I m not used to coming up with some cock and bull story t the drop of the proverbial hat.

Wold not look good for me with my own endeavours or in the event that results from three certain tests mean I will have to .. do something I am not even sure I can do. Especially here. I do not know the area, the authorities any of the help and support available.

It is a terrifying prospect and that is provided that the .. ultimate consequence arrives and I manage to live through it. I honestly cannot see how I can and I have been through two that were heart-breaking.

Anyway .. that was that.

My other concern is that of the Work & Pensions Select Committee. Or more rather my report that I submitted. It is .. lot to report. It can be .. overwhelming but it is always vital to me that you include all information whether it is vital or not. Because I cannot decide if it is vital or not.

I worked in the legal industry and those I helped were friends for a long time beforehand and afterwards too.

So .. I know only too well that sometimes things that you think would be important re not and things that you think are not turn out to be important.

I have h to explain this to so many people over the years it simply not true. During long phone conversations lasting up to five hours I would be told that someone appealing state something in court and I would have to say “I know it sounds wrong and I agree that it is .. but they wont be interested in that or other things”. It is about the rights and wrongs, the facts and the lies.

However .. this is different. It is a process of telling horror stories regarding what the DWP have been up to and contradicting their base argument for their actions.

There is no one better than me for that .. very literally .. because ..

  • I did the NEA course and because I invested £20,000 of my own money .. before being stabbed in the back .. showing that I was serious and that they told lies
  • This wasted thousands more than I planned
  • That I was awarded disability money TWICE, so had cause and reason to receive it but ..
  • That I had disability stopped twice ..
  • That I then moved 250 miles because I knew that the DWP along with a Local Council and the Police would let down my daughter .. victim of domestic violence and that ..
  • Two grandchildren were reported to have Autism and I knew that the public services would let them down too .. and ..
  • Tht my daughter showed signs of having my disability that I now discover is behind my new heart and chest symptoms as well as damaging my eyes and .. linked to cancer ..
  • Which I found out because they a lump in my daughter's body, one being suspicious and needed a biopsy ..
  • The found a second lump and then a third in three separate areas of her body

That is the extremely short version where the report I submitted goes into detail about what I was and was not told by the NHS, that the Probate Court did not investigate £35,000 of inheritance stolen from each of nine family members, no will.

The victimisation of me and my family looks fucking bad just looking at the last 10 month alone.

What the report contains is details of this going back for no less then fifteen years in some cases and twenty years in others.

That I have had several lines said to me that describes it all ..

  • Person One: “Why does this keep happening to us?!”

  • Person Two: “Nothing good ever happens to our family!”

But if there is one thing I am it is ..


Or t least I have the extreme potential to be disruptive and that .. tends to scare people.

But if this so-called parliamentary committee is entirely genuine at fixing what is right with this country and want to first identify the corruption, tricks and lies to the British public that have been ongoing for so long then ..

.. they would do well to heed my words.

Because all we have had up to now is my methods copied, lots of people having the finger pointed at them. Them in turn pointing the fingers at others. Public services being listed as 'inadequate' by various bodies while things continue on the exact same.

The one part in all this I find the most infuriating is that fact that all this has done nothing at all to the country's position, debt wise. Nothing.

The one thing that they do and have been claiming for a fair old while now is numbers of which absolutely no one, investigative journalists not excluded, has looked into in any great detail.

Jobless numbers have been going down but failing too mention the tens of thousands that have died by their actions alone.

Oh and of course there are the disabled people that, when last I looked, well over 120,000 people had died as a direct result of their actions that almost included me in that list.

I have all the links to all the necessary websites, documents, audio recordings, videos and blogs.

I have all the predictions that eventually turned out to be true.

I predicted the financial collapse long before it was even being whispered about.

A document by document, blow by blow, day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year account of all the highly suspect failings of absolutely everyone involved and then some.

Good God. The very thought that this all now might soon be over is kind of .. head spinning.

While at the very same time I cannot help thinking that this will just turn out to be another dead-end road?!


I do not nor never will understand how areas of the human body can cause so much stress and pain and yet still be alive?!

I also don't understand quite how in this modern age we still don't have the drugs to deal with it properly. Well .. prescription drugs that is.

I awoke this morning after something of a night of.. forget that happens once a week. Friends around and a few drinks.

Had to go out and get a couple of things with one of them last night but .. flutter-flutter-flutter my heart was playing up a little.

Had to go out a second time, oh .. my .. God, this went wrong and more of a boom-boom-boom.
Now I a only mention a symptom now and then for a reason or if I think I've made a connection ..
This morning and against all common sense I awoke to very intense anxiety. I asked myself why in the world this could be? In my groggy state I even wondered if it was something else but felt like anxiety?

I had it yesterday morning but not as intense.

But I did push things a little last night .. oh crap, afternoon too when I was getting stuck into some house work to help out.

I just sometimes and myself why I'm getting this because the we nothing really to set it off, unless I have dreams that set it off but never recall the dreams?

Well I had that email from the Work & Pension Committee.

They wanted to use the cut down first I sent them.

But despite it being damning it was only two pages and not damning enough for my liking. So I sent an initial response stating that I would submit a full report, broken down into sections.

After all I only mentioned the current situation.

What I didn't include was a full breakdown for PIP as well as ESA along with Universal Credit which are the three they mentioned in their response.

Red rag to a bull, anyone?!


A two page report they reacted to and apologizing upon hearing or situation and then stating what they did? ESA, PIP as well as UC?! JESUS, Christmas had come early, surely?!

Now think about a report containing no less than six pages and me pointing out that even this is not complete?

Yeah well that's what they now have, after many hours, broken up here and there, some copy and pasting and six whole pages!


In it I quoted three quotes ..

"Why does this keep happening to us?!"

"Nothing ever works out for anyone on our family!"

"I told my mum .. I want to die!"

Then I started the report!

The most complete report I've probably ever sent .. ever!

There are some conversations that are going to be extremely interesting over the coming days, weeks and months.

A lot of people are going to be hurting to varying degrees over this and they cannot say I didn't warn them. Not for a moment. I spent years warning each and every one of them telling each it was a matter of time. That guessing the amount of time involved wood be akin to guessing the length of a piece of string.

Despite the negativity of many online people including those that are disabled .. my view is that it's been shit for soo many people for so long that's it's hard .. no .. impossible to see an end to it all.
I see things .. a little differently to everyone else.

I've been working my arse off in ways many people couldn't imagine for a very, very long time and just the document gathering started over 15 years ago, possibly more. It then changed up a couple of years around 12 years ago and then the recordings started around 8 years ago. The blogging started 5.5 years ago.

Many others have not covered as many as I have, not even close.

Many others have not done as much as I have.

Many others have not yet anywhere near the amount of devices I have used.

Many others have fallen by the wayside long, long, long before I have done.

Many others are defeatist.

But with death knocking on my door with no less than four knocks and no matter the amount of pain and suffering .. I continue.

No matter how many times I'm sent to the darkest corners of my mind .. I continue on.

I battle on because I know there is an end game. It's inevitable. History had taught us that over and over again. Plenty of history books throughout .. well, history. Lol.

Find was what I needed. Time to reach the right amount of people. That was the proverbial length of string. How much time we needed?

The time was needed to reach the numbers and the numbers are more or less easy. A decent six figure number was what we required. Not everyone needs to read this blog .. just enough people needed to visit this blog. Because there is the one factor every single person forgets..

People talk.

If everyone, or rather the average, is that everyone speaks to one person about shit they read or heard about then you should the figures reached.

But as everyone knows .. it doesn't work like that.

Everyone had at least the relatives on average.

Everyone has two of three friends on average.

So the average could reasonably be six people but could be as high as ten.

The other factor is the six degrees of separation.

In other words the world of country is a network.

Except there is one other factor that increases the numbers above expoentially..

.. Smart phones!

Since smart phones crashed into our lives something changed. The average of just six people increased itself expoentially. And that's an understatement.

I know someone with 300 friends on Facebook and and I just even more than that Brits I decided it was too much and deleted a load. A lot more.

So even if we halve that to 150 .. that's a bloody speedy network, think a ten gigabit connection.

There was always another possibility .. or rather .. another network or .. networks. I unfortunately don't trust most of them .. probably most of them.

But there was always the possibility .. that .. something else would occur along the way and the very, very obvious is the mainstream news media.

When it's already obvious that they are corrupt .. you have to think of something else or wait for something else. If you don't possess the funds for an expensive, major legal battle that left the news media with no choice but to cover it.

Yeah .. didn't have the funds for that, though I considered starting up a crowd funding campaign specifically for that alone. Never really could reach the decision to do it or set a date to do it. 

Eventually I probably would have done. Not reached that point .. yet.

That left .. something coming from the proverbial left field.

This could have been from well known leftist, socialist or community group. A particular type of red political party that was .. well known enough.

Some of these are global.

There is, of course, that which is unknown or unexpected. The 'left field' as I tend to call it.

Well that left field was caught by me the other day and .. I'm not really sure how it happened to be perfectly honest. I really, really don't.

But .. it's happened.

They want to attack the government, the DWP and their henchman, no doubt?

Well that's what I've been doing. They want a team player. Someone that can help and I have the my blogs and my ever worsening story.

There's always an ever moving boundary that you need to cross but you never quite know where it lies at any given moment in time.

Your guessing at best but your hoping for the best each and every week. There's a point you know you have ventured beyond it but you still need that boundary.

To leave the Earth's atmosphere you need a certain amount of trust for a given length of time.
This is no different .. you need enough evidence combined with enough people.

I've long since had enough evidence .. and have a lot more too .. but it's enough people.

What I got from left field was the .. umm Government. Well .. sorta .. a kind of shadow government .. of possibly a bunch of people after other ones jobs. Possibly not carrying the courage of their convictions.

We will see.

The chance has come and it's been taken. An opportunity such as this simply could not be ignored. You would have to be a fool not to grab this with both hands. It's merely a chance to change things before the tunnel exit is reached.

Since finishing this piece which I entirely wrote on my phone with squinty eyes I have now received confirmation of the Work & Pensions Committee receiving my updated and more complete report.

They stated that would get in contact with me if they require anything.

Let us see if they do anything?

I have had a phone conversation with one of my friends in London and a friend of someone up here and told them about being contacted. Both are shocked and over the moon.

My friend in London and the ex-social worker said “Oh, Martin! If anyone deserves this with everything you have done and everything they have done to you .. it is you”

I also told him about the crap HMRC over-payments and now he tells me they did it with his daughter too! He said they are the most unhelpful people on Earth and if this is the case what fucking moron put them in charge of payments for children?! What fucking absolute dicks!

You should heave witnessed first my friends shock and then roaring with laughter when I told him they billed one person £35,000 for last year and another young lady £6,500 for a period between 2008-12 when she went form the ages of 14 to 18 with no children?!

He knows as long term visitors of this blog would be well aware .. I have been kicked in the teeth so many times that they have now rapidly progressed my Fibromyalgia into things I first did not know you could get with this condition and secondly .. I have had them from a few month to well over a year before recently discovering they are far more serious complications to Fibromyalgia I have developed.

Funny then that no hospital I visited or GP in the last 18 months have either mentioned the connection to my Fibromyalgia to me when I reported the symptoms nor have I been warned to watch out for anything ..

Like my bloody EYESIGHT!

Oh and my heart!

More on that to come.

Friday, 8 December 2017


Well that was a surprise.

I had been looking for the email to the ministers of the DWP and as I stated previously that I had emailed them before.

Well and thanks to my short term memory problems .. I cannot recall but seem to have emailed the Work and Pensions Select Committee. Oops. Well as it turns out .. it seems to be OK ..

I had an email from them and they apologised for the situation that myself and my family and the children involved.

That is the very first time anyone has said that .. certainly in a genuine way.

It also turns out that they want to use me .. or at least the data I had already sent them. Here we go again it is the late Michael Meacher MP circa January 2013 all over again.

I am coming for you DWP .. I warned you and I warned you about this along with all your compatriots in the NHS and the local councils.

Now you have nowhere to hide. Lol.

Well .. that makes me feel much better! I was having a bad couple of days and had some chest issues earlier .. just getting to the local shop again.

I was beginning to feel like I was heading down a dead end as for the sixth time in a row the Citizen's Advice sounded like they was going to be about as much use as a wet paper bag. They might prove otherwise but .. it did not sound like it on the last phone conversation with some woman. Did on the previous phone conversation with a guy called Steve.

The Work and Pensions Select Committee stated that they could use the report I sent them nut this was severely cut down. So I said I would speak to the other person being treated like crap and get back to them with a more detailed report.

Finally I see a chink and finally the situation I knew as a really bad one has been recognised as such by the best group that it possibly could.

Funny then that as I know reporters peruse my posts for ideas and leads that none of them have gotten into contact with me?!

But then maybe they linked me to the time previous to me starting this blog when I sent them a set of no less than four DVDs fully loaded with data? Data they ignored, did not go through or were paid to bury it? So maybe they will not contact me out of embarrassment or being called out by me? Imagine me asking the BBC, who killed my father anyway, or Sky, the Independent, Telegraph, Observer, Times (not sure about this one), Daily Express, Daily Mail, Mirror or any other I sent the data to being asked “Oh so NOW you want to talk to me?! Why not back then?!” Lol.

Yeah .. no! I will not get contacted by anyone in the media except some independent paper possibly or a local rag .. not owned by a big corporation or news group?

This will also be interesting considering the recent actions I have taken and it is such a relief to have .. relief again from the way I was feeling. I am here to help and am feeling like crap because everyone else has this self-entitled feeling to far more of the taxpayers money than decent, honest people trying to get by. People that happen to be very vulnerable.

This was the kind of reaction I expected a long, long time ago. I guess all good things come to those who wait?

I think I know which particular section they are interested in the most .. the one that proves incontrovertibly that they are not interested in getting people back into work at all .. not even the disabled people. Shows without a shadow of a doubt and maybe .. just maybe .. my holding back this time has made the difference?

What I will do is see what they say once I have compiled and sent them a report and had a reply. I will then deem whether it is wise to publish anything or just give positive hints regarding things?

It would be so good if I could give people some hope. I cannot imagine what that might feel like to me but I suspect it will feel out of this world to give hope to so any people, especially as I am hearing of more and more people wanting to take their own lives!

Is that a light I spy at the end of this very long tunnel that I have travelled in for so very long now?!