It has been a tough as well as a mostly confusing time.
I have seen and heard more misery than ever before. I have been trying to help or be a help at least to a couple of people and I have been hearing of suicidal thoughts with people that I know.
I am secretly and internally in a constant panic mode that during my legal proceedings I will either do something wrong, not remember something or be unable to find something that will lose me my case.
The JSA are seemingly contradicting their early on understanding of my health conditions and have put two jobs in my JobSearch file that they have requested I apply for. Neither of these I can do as they are full-time employment and recalling I have pains, memory problems and over heating problems and do not own a car, one job is in Stanstead Airport for 12 hour shifts.
When I told an ex social worker I know he literally roared in uncontrollable laughter for a couple of minutes. I was amazed he found it that hilarious.
I was contacted by an old friend I have not seen in years and he got told about me knowing what condition I have. When I told him it was Fibromyalgia he looked shocked, made a call on his mobile and the next thing I know I am talking to his girlfriend as she has it. We were comparing pains and she referred to Fibrofog as 'Foggy Brain'. I told her I was having difficulty getting this message across to my Mind Counsellor he just keeps saying ''Oh I do that' every time I explain a frustrating and angry situation I was in recently. She understood as she has had this herself for years. Then she said something that stopped me in my tracks and I interrupted her to say “Wait a minute? Did you say you have taken Pregabalin!” She had and had stopped and claimed that every time she took it she gained weight.
I explained how I have tried to get this drug for several years and as a complete understanding I now have with three or four people in that 'normies' with no disability do not listen and do not understand as well as not caring. Even telling someone else how I was explaining to this fellow Fibromyalgia sufferer I got the often said throw away line by an idiot that simply wont accept that Doctors lie “I told you! Change your Doctor!” A bit pointless telling ME that when I am explaining what I said to someone else with the exact same condition. Bearing in mind these people know exactly everything I have done I replied in a sarcastic tone “I HAVE. FIVE TIMES!”
If you do not want to be treated like an idiot then do not make statements without thinking them through, remembering everything the person you are going to throw your lines at has done and … bet still … when you insisting on something to the point of arguing? Yeaah est NOT to do that when the exact same thing you have predicted wrong 100% of the time on three previous occasions.
If you got it wrong three fucking times then your not best placed to insist how the next thing is going to go, are you?
I could make this sound far worse than I have in stating that they are wrong in many other subjects 95% of the time, give or take a few percent.
The fact is they have failed to realise that my success rate as just ass high as their failure rate and yet time afterr time I will be told in no uncertain terms how it is and how it is going to go.
The one and single time that they ended up looking correct was not even my own fault but that of someone else I know making me look like I was wrong.
Speaking of which … November is almost over. In fact six weeks have now passed and things are … tiring. There has been some really bad treatment going on and I did think about 5 weeks or so back that this treatment would finally end? It seems not. More broken promises and lies. Well by December that will be the case at any rate.
So then something of a juggling act?
Well a suicidal young person, a fearful friend, a solicitor and documents to find and keep track of and there is a lot of documents, the JSA and damnable Job Centre, looking for work 35 hours a week (it is in the contract don'tcha know?!) and eleventy million pounds electric bill, a bike that needs repairing and another that needs replacing, a Doctor that is … let us just say awkward, nowhere to go and nothing to do and being bored and depressed out of my mind, hence the looking for voluntary work!
Did I forget about anything? Oh yeah a humongous row with a narcissistic person that thinks the world revolves around them and everyone else's lives and feelings are unimportant.
At least at Christmas I wont have to hear about a long list of molehills as they are turned into mountains and get into arguments about how to pick out fucking electronic equipment as it is fucking sacriligeous to take an average score from 200 people and should listen to those in What Hifi Magazine who are paid to say shit. Even when I am fucking holding the proof in my fecking hand!!
All said and done … pretty quiet really. Lol.
In fact I have only listed the main things going on at the moment and of course each of those could be broken down into subdivisions.
Right at this very moment my life is the complete opposite to what I thought it would be and there is this ever constant nagging at the back of my mind … that I may have just helped one of my most hated enemy types to become somewhat … wealthy?
So while all of the former is driving me insane the latter is eating away at me internally.
So yeah I have not really felt like typing anything out or posting very much. I am back in contact with two people I have not seen for well over a year. Possibly well over two. In contact with another who is not going through a good time right now and the things they are talking about they should not be at their age.
People have a tendency to look to me when things are tough. Yeah they might go and ant off and say things about me but as soon as things get complicated, intellectual or just plain difficult I am the one they talk to. As if I possessed a magic wand and can make it all go away. Lol, if only!
Also I have finally gotten my first two JSA payments, though the first one at £10 was not only hardly worth mentioning but went in my account without me even noticing for ten days. Also I am sure the second payment I only noticed today? Well I am sure that was not due in for another week or so? I am sure it was December 10th it was to e paid?
Anyway … no mention at all of the back-pay going back to mid July. Go figure. I guarantee that the first time the subject is brought up it will be by my solicitor?!
Oh and how could I forget?
I received a letter from Enfield Council who have only paid my full rent for about 18 to 24 months over 9.5 years and in it was a bill for over-payment of rent?!
Well my solicitor was interested in seeing hat bill and the letter, which I cannot for the life of me find an explanation about the over-payment on. She was also interested in the JSA's recent pressure and asked me to inform them as soon as I get a letter mentioning any sanctions.
Oh and I see a load of videos about rouble with Sweden from no go areas for Police because of Muslims and gangs of them at main railways stations attacking and mugging women.
Also occurring in Sweden is that completely fucking barrmy leftist attitudes like that of the now infamous Social justice Warriors that actually insisted that their snow-ploughs actually not bother with the main routes and clear the areas were women normally frequent. Stockholm, I think it was, came to an abrupt halt … and I DO MEAN HALT!
Of course a search on YouTube will reward you with many a people ripping crap out of these two things!
Added to this Nigel Farage has been ripping Tony Blair a new one, get in there my son, and explaining that some countries, or country, that had one referendum over Europe had another one. I guess they did not like the first one and decided to keep on going until they got the result they wanted or was able to rig the result they way they wanted it?
Today and finally someone linked that awful PizzaGate story to people in the UK!! Europe was not mentioned but the UK certainly was and by an American. SOMEONE has been doing their homework?!
A Jehovah's Witness who regularly knocks at my door did so recently. After breaking the news to me that I am know in the local kingdom hall as 'The Mission Man' he talked about the things happening in the word and shook his head, looked at me and said … “This … is … biblical … the things happening right now!” Yeah I could see why they would think that. In fact I could fully understand that anyone that is religious … the Christian religions not the barbaric, murderous and paedophile lot, might think this. I remember thinking it was a good job he was only looking, most likely, at the mainstream media and not what I had looked at!
Well after all … Satan worshippers in levels of power in government and becoming President of the United States of America? Umm was that not the story behind that famous old horror movie about the son of Satan called The Omen?! LMAO!