I was up early once again.
I was sitting here is a kind of panic mode as from today I am responsible for a load of animals tha I kept telling someone I did not want to be.
So what happens on the very first morning I wake up to this unwanted responsibility? My back is in considerable pain for the first time in weeks and I still have the shooting pain in my right foot I first felt yesterday and one reason why I did not leave the house.
So I was sitting here thinking about that and how it is the the DWP can be so cold and evil towards other human beings, David Icke – cough, and I thought I would look up a few things with my condition.
I came across an interesting line that made me wonder ...
A diagnosis of chronic pain is associated with increased mortality due to a variety of external causes. - Mark Borigini M.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-pain/201101/fibromyalgia-and-death
Might explain a few things that I keep thinking will take place, intentionally or otherwise.
Then I stumbled across several sites that had lists of celebrities that also suffered with my condition and some of them, Janeane Garofalo the actress in particular, were shocking. Oh and the first time I saw Janeane Garofalo I simply melted. Not often I do that and was a few years back now. Not seen her in years.
Do not know her? How about Nicole Chilelli (not sure who she is but cute), Brittany Murphy (actress), Rosie Hamlin (singer), Sinead O'Connor, Jo Guest (mentioned previously), Cher, Paula Abdul, Michael Crawford, Morgan Freeman (he says from car accident too) and Florence Nightingale?
A couple of other little known names are Tobey Maguire (Spiderman has FMS?!), George Clooney (CFS), Jerry Lewis, Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac) and John F. Kennedy. Wait, what? But up until just a few years ago Doctors kept stating it did not exist?! LMAO!
There is a whole list of American celebrities that Brits coming here would probably not have heard of so I will include a few websites for those interested in looking ..
My word. Many of those were shocks and I was not expecting to see quite so many. I thought it would be a very short list of four or five people but I am sure if I carried on looking I would have found many more?
So then … five weeks of living in the darker pits of hell than I normally do starting from today and with me panicking that nothing will go wrong! Marrrrrvellous!
I am going to have to get used to using my bike a lot more than I have as being on foot for the amount I will be busy? Wont happen for very long, a few days and I will be a wreck. I hope it does not go on and cause any anxiety as I will not be a happy man .. literally.
I might even be forced to drag my secondary bike out, one I can use to do shopping with as I feel OK about locking it up. It may well be the only way I get through this, especially if I find days with more than one place I need to be it will be a must.
It is funny how the world can be going crazy around you but you have to keep on doing mundane crap? While at the same time having nothing to do for even a day drives you almost insane?
For some reason and for several months I have been losing my drive too, which does not help when you having difficulties thinking of something to get out and do for fear of staying in and going insane.
I very seriously need to lessen the number of days I do mundane things and I need to get out and do the things I find interesting and relaxing. I also think I need to find other things to do that I find interesting. Like attend some weekly event with like minded people in any one of the half a dozen or so things I am knowledgeable in?
Funny how no matter how I look at it I need a damned car! Always at the back of my mind for several years all I have thought it how much easier things would have been and how much quicker I would have reached my goals had I still had a car? But it is just too much of a major headache to run a car on a minimal income, if of course you could even call it an income?
There is no way on Earth I would ever …. EVER come back and live my life over again. No bloody way!