Friday 8 January 2016

A NEW DEATH STAR

I have been trawling the Internet and YouTube channels for reviews.

Reviews, that is, for the latest Star Wars film, The Force Awakens.

Now let me explain first off that I was not interested in this film that much. Not even a little. That is until curiosity gripped me one day and just a couple of weeks back I actually looked at the trailer for the first time.

I was hooked and suddenly I went from no interest to ass much interest as I have had in any film, except one coming in March 2016, as I have ever had.

A friend of mine, who gets in for free, went to see it and I was looking forward to seeing if his opinion was the same as, what seemed like, everyone else's and all the critics? He surprised me by saying it was "all-right, bot not great like the original trilogy" which I was surprised at but his opinions on films was not always all that.

A couple weeks later and we end up going to see it.

On leaving he looked at me and said "Did you actually fall asleep?!" to which I said I nearly did twice but that I had not. I also pointed out that despite seeing some bad movies I had never fallen asleep in a cinema ever.

It was not good. Not really bad just OK. Only the more I have thought about it and the more I have looked around at what others have said it is going down and I first said I would get in when it is out on Blu-Ray Disc but have started to doubt I would do this?!

It is very literally the best trailer to worst movie ration I have ever come across. EVER.

I did not even mind the prequels that much but admit they were not great. I was also disappointed as a kid with the way that Empire Strikes Back ended, like an TV episode and first part of two.

The characters were terrible but I will say that the only character I really liked was Rey. However I have no started to realise that this was part of an over the top politically correct feature rammed down people's throats. Still, I liked her character.

The story was all over the place, Kylo Ren's voice was nowhere near as loud or ass menacing as it was in the trailer and I was like "Huh?!" The first two times I heard him speak.

When he took his mask of it obliterated any chance of him being menacing.

The Droid was cool, BB-8, but Fin was annoying, stupid and often made no sense at all, as did many other things in the movie. The references to the original's were so many and so stupid and in your face that you got the idea that someone at Disney that is not a human being or had any communications at all with other human beings, kept insisting on all these references to sell the movie to brain-dead idiots?!

I also almost guessed the story except got the relationships the opposite way around!

The whole thing was a complete copy of the original with extremely bad and lazy writing, plot holes and disappointed characters. A giant Death Star built into a planet?! I mean, REALLY?!

Han Solo dies in the most ridiculous way. An entire planet but people land a few hundred yards from each other? Luke Skywalker only appears in the closing seconds of the movie and on overly long sequence when your expecting dialogue but nothing appears and the movie closes like an end of part one, like Empire Strikes Back?!

Oh dear.

It goes on and on and I was somewhat mystified at all the rave reviews by both the normally unforgiving film critics and movie goers so I thought I would have a look.

Well it seems that things are not quite how it first appeared to me, in fact quite the opposite. Better still is that one after the other many are asking the same things that I was doing that led me to take a look in the first place...

Why are all the critics giving it rave reviews?

And why are all the fans giving it rave reviews?!

One sight I want on the public's scores seemed to be split quite cleanly into two camps with the first being scores of 8 to 10 out of 10 and the second one 3 to 0 out of 10. Nothing in between!

Yes I did type 0, or zero.

Of course as was natural when I was reading the accusations are flying and a great many YouTube reviewers did not like it, even many geeks and fans. Except one review I looked at with a three or four geek reviewers who seem to love it, leaving me scratching my head.

The common consensus that is only spreading like wildfire and will no doubt spread further is that new owners, Disney, sent out loads of false reviews and paid off a shed load of others.

Now these types of reasons can sometimes look obvious but are hard to put any credence into but in this case it is somewhat different.

I simply cannot understand how anyone could give this movie anywhere above a 6 out of 10. You must be very easily pleased and not too bright to be able to do this.

I think it is a real shame because for me the trailers looked so damned good to get my interest and yet I know I saw the movie that was in the trailers but at the same time it seemed so different. I had seen most of the real good visual bits and key moments in the trailer.

In fact thiss was so bad that I felt compelled to write a piece about it to put on my very neglected blog on movies but that everything looks so suspicious that I decided to post it on my corruption blog instead.

Now this is not that the movie was not as good as I had hoped or had thought, it is purely down to the vast chasm between what the movie critics said about it, many early fans and reviewers said about it and what I ended up seeing.

I cannot think of anything like it from the my own history and not even close. I often see films I like that got panned by critics and fans and the best one to compare this to is Green Lantern. This was panned so bad it put me off seeing it and yet when I gave in and bought it on Blu-Ray it was a lot better than I expected. I know one family member who agrees with me, though he said that The Force Awakens was the best Star Wars movie, and a few friends about Green Lantern not being as bad as they stated.

But this?!

This is cosmic. I really sat there expecting to be treated to something out of this world and what I got was so, so different to what I expected and what everyone I had read reviews on had said that I simply shook my head in disbelief. I heard there was clapping in theatres? Well not in mine there wasn't and nor was it even one quarter full.

That leads me onto the money it is supposed to be taking and the records it is supposed to be breaking, which only makes everything look even more suspicious.

Errr...HOW?!

Now I come to the conclusion that either it is like some say, in that there is nothing but lies to influence us into paying or that the majority of people are not too bright?

Once again my issue here is not that the movie was not all that it is the gaping chasm that exists between what has been reported and stated by early reviewers and what is the truth.

Because it is not even close to how things have been stated and how the trailer depicts the film. It is as simple as that and after several dozen bad reviews on YouTube and thousands of comments by hundreds of people all saying the same thing I was thinking I am somewhat relieved.

I had thought it was just me for some bizarre reason I had not fathomed. I chose this over seeing Spectre and I made a very bad choice with this one!

I would not like to be JJ Abrahams right now. Or should I say Jar Jar Abrahams as many people are that disappointed in this film that many are now calling him that!

Good god! I hope this does not happen to the film I thinkk will be the biggest thing in recent times ... Batman V Superman Dawn Of Justice.

I wont naturally assume, either, that the next JJ Abrahams film will be good. I bet Disney and JJ Abrahams feel extyremely lucky that Fant Four Stick got made?! LMAO!

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