Sunday 31 May 2015

DIFFICULT DAYS

I had another rough day.

Not helped by the last few days plus I had to go out in dreadful weather because of things I have consistently forgotten during the last week.

I still came home without things and had to visit my local store after a rest.

I was text by someone early in the day, someone I didn't really want to speak to buy them I didn't want to speak to anyone.

Someone who went on the explain to someone what I'm like when I'm like this which is bizarre because no one has been around me when I'm like this. It was also a bit worse than normal and thirdly they wanted to use it to prove to others that it's my fault when we disagree.

Funny because one of the things I complained about was that no one listened to me when it was my stuff and instead thought they knew better.

The funny part? Well that would be that these bad days were down to my condition and I was having a flare up but never seem to recognise these and no one had read anything abut my condition in the 18 months since I realised what it was.

So no one can actually claim to be in any position to make decisions or cast their opinions about what is ... err, up with me.

What I did recall while the day played through in some agony and frustration was that I was indeed having a flare up. The lumpy feeling under my arms and right feeling breastbone I had failed to pick up on for several days.

There was more realisation and I have already posted about this... err I think? I picked up my prescription because I thought I was heading out of town. Except one pill, Tramadol, was missing. I had to drop a note into my GP surgery yet again because something was missing and yet the Quinine sulphate was in the bag.

I had ran out of Tramadol, oddly enough, and I had a few days of really bad back pain added to the normal foot pain and fatigue. I had also had aching and stinging in my groin, the part the NHS lied about in an ultrasound test. Probably due to lack of Tramadol.

Then I overdid it while being confused as to how because I did not do much not venture far but knew by the time I got home. I then pushed myself to do the different jobs before laying down. This was a bigger draw them acquiring tobacco I had also ran out of or milk.

I had also forgotten to take my vitamin pill for magnesium I had to take as well as running out of quinine.

As I had now has several days of the roughest I had endured for awhile while missing a few pills was too much of a coincidence and it has hit home that they do in fact have an affect.

Plus I am pretty sure that yesterday morning I forgot to take all my pills and may have done this Friday morning too?

Yoinks!

I simply must remember to take them tonight and once again in the morning!

This is where the memory lapses in Fibrofog can work against you and Fibromyalgia compounded by living on your own. Well when you have it and live on your own that is? Lol!

I had also read somewhere on the Internet that in some study they had found that Fibromyalgia sufferers lost grey matter. Umm yup, that grey matter!

I found this confusing as I am sure in my own case that if anything the opposite was true? I have out down the scrambling of signals to an increase in brain activity that has allowed me to hold onto so much information about so many different subjects and take on everyone that I have on this blog.
Maybe if the years were correct that just like the amplifying and reduction in brain signals that it can work both ways with grey matter too?

Something they could have found out from me had they bothered to study me at any point and ask the right questions. Something I have thought for many years even before I discovered what it was that ails me.

Boy I hope I sleep tonight and feel back to normal tomorrow?

I will take time out to go on a bus ride somewhere, not sure where must yet. Somewhere, perhaps with my camera? Oh, weather permitting of course. I will wager that the weather will put paid to that plan?

Lol!

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