Wednesday 12 November 2014

THE RIDE BACK INTO HELL

HiIt is 3.09am add I start this post and I'm back into another night of hell.

This very annoying a well as painful on and off as I finally thought I was in the body clear!

It's not quite as painful at that dreadful night but it's not far off at times and I am already panicking it will go that way.

How can a condition continue for best part of ten weeks? It's bloody stupid a had a little sign earlier it might return and should have taken several Tramadol.

All the other symptoms are present too, abdominal pain, wind, diarrhea and vomiting...

Damn it!! Have to keep pausing due to sudden increases in pain and vomiting. This is no way to live! Well it wasn't previously but this just makes it ludicrous, lol. I have always had this urge to apply a lot of pressure to my stomach with pretty rough stomach aches. However my chest still hurts from breaking, not a bone, whatever I did a few weeks back which I thought was a rib.

Damn it!

I have had to stop a couple of times to throw up and deal with abdominal pains. I then could feel myself getting weaker by the minute as well as sleepy too. The pain was subsiding at the same time and child not have been a coincidence? Eventually it subsided enough that I left my tablet pc alone and laid on the floor with only a towel to rest my head on and my robe around me. I feel asleep but only for a short while as discomfort somewhere I can't recall had me gradually get to my feet and make my way to the bed.

I fell asleep. How it for I do not know but must have been an hour at least.

It is now 6.25am. Annoyingly I was awoken by abdominal pains! At first I thought it would simply pass and tried you remain in bed and yet that is not my present location. Feck me, what must I bloody do to end this?

My relaxed listen to the new Pink Floyd album I purchased while it seem like a distant memory now. One wonders if this disruption of relaxed periods of the seldom moments of enjoyment will become forever disrupted with periods of pain?

I truly wish I knew what the answer is to my current problem! This has already become tiring and to much now. I am not going to be able to take another night like this one and it's not even over yet. I sit crumpled up waiting for something, anything to move to rid myself of this current predicament. 

I also have to admit to the condition of Crohn's Disease flashing through my mind this time around. I helped someone who had this condition and there is a link to something I now believe is responsible that I know used to set him off...

Jesus! More pain and vomiting before getting annoyed and using the two fingered salute to the back of my throat, hoping the sickness would go and/or the trapped wind would move. I'm not bringing up much and this ceased earlier in the night. Yet as always there is the feeling of going to be sick ever present. Strange.

I am leaning all over the place. Extremely weak and feel like I want to collapse constantly. Ewww.
Sleep! Floor....again.

Odd. How lying down on the toilet floor can seem so inviting and comforting? Then trying to get up I seem to be shaking, literally. Must be the lack of sleep and energy? Really felt it this time. Thinking of whether I stay in, tired and in case of embarrassing accident, or go out, need loads shopping for home, shoes.... still and likely a film to make up for slightly disappointing Days Of Future Past. Well it's not like The actually is anything left inside me at all?!

Hmm the is a new album from both Moby and Mike Oldfield I have not heard?!

The time is now nigh impossible 8.08am.

Goodnight.

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