I do not feel good today.
In fact I did not feel great last night either and going out to get the this pointless kidney scan was not really something I wanted to do.
It is the semi regular feeling of slightly sickly and tired as if I was coming down with the flu which has happened pretty regular in recent years but that turns out to not be the flu but I now realise is down to Fibromyalgia.
Though this one has last longer than most and been a little more intense than normal and that nausea to the point of feeling sick is just not bloody nice. So maybe this time it will turn out to be a bug? So not a good day for me and the end of a very bad week. Plus I have been somewhat fidgety, temperamental and bored.
In fact the only highlight of the last week was that phone call from NHS England showing they were rattled and more or less withdrawing the two complaints reports I received only a week before. Hmm I am not even sure it was as long as a week but could be wrong but then the posts are on here so anyone can check them out. Three or four days after I dropped off the letter to my GP and asking them WHY the NHS had not informed them I had a blog?! I told them. I also told the General Medical Council too! Oops! Now why would they not have told them that?
Do you think that faced with the possibility of losing licences to be Doctors at all never mind being NHS Doctors might just give them the push to act in a bid to protect themselves?!
The very best master plans is when you wait for a bunch of no good, amoral self obsessed people to be secretive about some facts that you let out and then simply go to the one that has been left in the dark, or those that will take the fall, and merely ask them how come they do not know all the facts?!
While I did that I had already been aware of a possibility and...well it started to look as if the possibility may become a reality and this was on my mind when I went to Barnet Hospital. This is on my mind all the time and so I am apprehensive all the time. Like everything else I am always proved to be right in the end.
This 'possibility' I have referred to before and likely a few times. But all it was referred to as was a possibility and that is all. After all it was only this in my mind despite my suspicions normally turning out to be correct. I am not infallible and do not want to provide any of my enemies, and they ARE enemies, the slightest chance to put a single label on me to have a load of fickle and often led my the nose people to dismiss everything else based on one thing.
The possibility I referred to previously was an attempt to send me all over the place with my condition, knowing I will get tired and irritable and then failing to do what they said or even promised in the hope that I would then punch the lights out and breaking the jaw of someone to then discredit me. Of course then they could also imprison me or put me in a nuthouse a la Lisbeth Salander?!
Realising this was a real possibility you can imagine what I was thinking when I was first refused the Nicorette Gum? Yeah granted that is a bit of a stretch but was based upon the fact that I was fed lines as excuses that simply was not true. NHS only gives them out for 3 months yet I had been getting them since BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2012. So way over a year then yes. But then there was the little incident with the Ear?! I am sent all the way to Barnet and given the curious assurances that I will then get something I have been asking for for the last ten years or more. I am then told that a triple flange silicone rubber earpiece is in my ear and no syringing as was promised?! Offer me something I have been recorded as asking for for the last ten years or more, send me a long bus ride away to get it and then refuse me that very thing when I am there?!
Is it starting to look a little less crazy and a little more likely? Well it did to me but I was still unsure but then you have to consider now what happened with the kidney scan!
Odd is it not that I set of alarm bells in the new surgery after being asked to do a series of tests that no one else bothered to. A big dance performed over the cholesterol but was not that high it later turns out. Everyone seems to be quite nice to me while there, even that nice nurse. Or so I thought.
Except I could not remember my next date to see the nurse and I also decided I wanted to speak to this new Doctor about what happened with my ears. I will explain more about this in the latter half of next week. So I went in there to find out about one appointment while making another. I really thought the following PRIOR to walking in their doors...
...'Oh I am not going to record this as they do seem OK, apart from the receptionist arguing with me and getting her medical reasons way out in orbit'.
However when I left the building I said out loud 'My God that was like pulling teeth!' and cursed myself for not recording it and trusting anyone!!
To make it short I went over to reception to have the woman who argued with me before just rabbiting on the phone. I DO carry a walking stick with me at all times I might remind you. I then heard a noise and saw that nice nurse who was very polite with me and she was in her room with the door OPEN and in front of her computer. So I naturally thought well I will just ask her about the appointment date and then just go back to the receptionist to make the appointment as she would be finished by then? Instead as I said hello and started to speak Nurse VeryNiceToMe cuts me off mid sentence and states "SORRY! I have finished work now!" to which she then embarrassed me and I was then annoyed. I then said I only wanted reminding of the date and did not want to ask her anything medically and she said "OH the receptionist will help you with that." to which I apologised, while asking myself why, and went back to the receptionist. When then gets off the phone and tells me there is nothing on the system and I say, it was made for MID-FEBRUARY, look the Nurse is right there!!" She then insists there is not one and will have to make a new one?! What the fecking hell?! What is great about this is how these people always speak as if they could not possibly have made a mistake?! They wonder why people get annoyed with the holier than thou attitude?! She then asks what is it for?! Does it fucking MATTER?! Now being expected to turn into a medical professional I say cholesterol, glucose and something else so she then says 'Blood Test?' and I say no. She then says 'well it must be because of what you said it was for and I say "Look, last time it was urine" she says 'Well I need to know if I need to give you a sample bottle" to which I now want to scream "Well WHY DID YOU NOT FUCKING JUST SAY THAT YOU IDIOT!!!" but hold my tongue and say "no I do not need one" to which she then says "Well you just said you did it via a urine sample?!" and my mind is now into free-fall and imploding, my feet are hurting and I want to slowly flake towards the ground screaming...
"WAHHHH!! I am going to dieeeeee heeeeeeeere?!?!"
I then said 'look love, I have just come in here to find out about an appointment that DOES NOT exist and that I gave a urine sample for WHEN I was actually here and in that toilet there! I do not want to spend all day here going over silly details that I cannot know the answers to!"
Yes so the nurse sat on her arse five feet away who must be hearing all this was fucking perfectly spot on, yes the receptionist can sort all that out for me?!?!
I do not care but you can all have a guess as the what the feck all that was about?!?!
Remember too that this was the nurse that I praised to her and she answered "OHH come back and see me anytime you want!"
Now have another guess as the what the feck that was all about?!
This was during that crap week!!
Is there something in the bloody water?! I mean seriously! Two family members have phoned me with fecking odd phone calls. A series of weird crap involving the NHS yet again along with arrogance to the point of trying to drive me over the bloody top too! I also got into a disagreement with someone else about the effectiveness of a common household product on one of my health conditions and I said 'no I have tried that, it did not work' to which they got annoyed because like so many others want to be right and said ' No yes it does!' to which I said 'no, not on me it does not' then explaining I had already explained this to a brother recently and Doctors years ago and they still insisted, so I changed the subject and you have to, or I do.
No one had any idea how many times in my life I have changed the subject it even just said 'Oh maybe I got it wrong?' when I know our rather knew damn well I was right. I think what is the point in arguing if they are going to be doggedly obnoxious and ignorant when they are not helping me not themselves then what is the point? This was over warm olive oil being used in my ear! Olive Oil when I have probably spent way over £150 over the past ten years on every single advanced treatment you can think of. I stopped at buying an ear irrigation device off Amazon due to the fact if it did not work I would go back to whatever GP I was with at the time and smashing the irrigation machine costing £100 round their jaw?! Well I HAVE to keep up the jaw breaking theme for appearances?! Lmao!
Now I will confuse everything just a wee bit more. Now IF they had been informed of my shenanigans by NHS England who made it sound one sided to make me look bad and get them to piss me off it would be somewhat easy to believe. If they had told them that I had been recording everyone and posting all about it on here I could FULLY UNDERSTAND IT.
SO maybe they have been looking on here and getting annoyed? But anyone who comes on here and gets annoyed either has not read enough of it or listened to enough of my recorded evidence or should not hold a position of medical professional. You are a medical professional and not a politician.
ACT LIKE A POLITICIAN AND YOU WILL BE TAKEN DOWN.
It is also annoying for one last thing. You started off bloody nice and then started to get into saying no and being very ruse and unhelpful.
If this IS because of something that the NHS England stated to you, oops, or because this was found and you are annoyed then you should have stopped and considered something...
...YOUR RECORDINGS ARE NOT ON HERE?!
Neither was they ever going to be, but JUST like the last GP you go and blow it so now this will change and all recordings will now go up performed of the new GP Surgery.
I guess this means I had better start looking for my FIFTH GP?!
There is also a major revelation coming about all this this coming Thursday of Friday. Think Cat and Pigeons.
Good God I do not feel good today!