Just a simple example of what a simple chore can do....
Monday 24th December at around 8pm. Wanted to go out today but has three difficult days so did not. But had run out couple of things and in the evening thought I would go.
Some family members had ignored what I told them, two had not passed on what I had told them and I had been shown some tiny hood and asked to jump through them. Ergo I was a bit miffed and I do when people do not pay attention or think the world everyone's around then and their lives.
Rain had died down a bit but I put my Peter Storm weather jacket on. Got to Sainsbury's and pain was not as bad as I thought it would be but still there nevertheless. Body temperature starts acting up and I start to sweat. There are a lot of people there and is typically usual they are wandering around like headless chickens and fail to sort the guy with a limp and a walking stick and it reminds me if those closer to me. I cannot find something ridiculously stupid which is Nesquick Chocolate Milk Shake?! I did, however and bizarrely, don't Nesquick Hot Chocolate?! Did not even know it existed. Getting more annoyed as people are bumping into me, bumping into my basket and walking across my part forcing me to pull up and I wonder how they get through a simple routine day on that amount of brain power. I am also there for something else too, Cholesterol lowering yogurt drinks. I end up asking a woman where the 'Nesquick Chocolate Milk Shake' is and she answers 'What the one you add things to?' and I am left species and bewildered. I resist the urge to say 'What the FUCK?!' and just say yes. It turns out they are located right where the hit chocolate one is but bizarrely on the bottom shelf and three shelves down from their other product?!
There is a woman standing right there in the way just staring? At what I do not know but as I stood there doing my impression of a Pink Flamingo and knowing that getting a box was going to hurt, I reached across and down. I grabbed one and as I retrieved it, to my annoyance it turned out to be Banana. I muttered 'oh bugger it!' under my breath and then muttered 'ouch' as I reached across again only to try again retrieve a tub of Banana! I would not have minded at this point but for the fact I buy the one in Lidls as it is lot cheaper, called Coao (or something similar) and yet get more too! But for a week I kept bloody forgetting!
The woman in the way decided to move but not because she registered that I had a stick and was in pain, oh no. Did not day sorry either just shuffled skiing to the next part she was staring at. I am now relieved and using my stick I get down on my knee to retrieve the Chocolate Milk Shake. Except to my shock their are dozens of Banana and not a single, solitary Chocolate Milk Shake. Yet again the Super in Supermarket process to be nothing of the kind!
Giving up I end up picking up two Chocolate Fudge Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream. This was because I was getting annoyed, running out of patience with being their with too many people and the UFOs ran out of something simple. Still not as bad as Asda as they ran out if milk completely once, or that's the official crap they gave me for not having it in the delivery items?! The list price was half what it usually was two days before so I thought I would just grab two. I then wondered if I needed anything else and at this point I got my usual dark empty room vision in my head got annoyed once again and told myself no. Made my way to the self service tills I always use for speed and there was an unusually long queue. I mother 'Oh WHAT THE FUCK!' while thinking it in my head. Mostly because people further and some take forever to do the most menial tasks. Of course this is annoying because standing still causes me the most pain and it had returned after disappearing for a week and was worse than it has been previously. People do not see that but I can hardly go around with a neon sign on my head that flashes this fact. I cannot even get a blur bloody badge or freedom pass from a local council!!
I get to a till only it now decides that it is going to say no and continued to register that there are things on its scales. The guy who helps states that it is because there are a load of carrier bags on it but I do not think so. He then take forever to place these bags back on their hangers and computer still says NO. He then presses the button he should have done to start with and we are in business. Except I get two third of the way through and I have three Pineapple Juice Drinks that have no barcode on them. I am getting annoyed but then realise I also have three Orange Juice drinks of the same brand, quantity and therefore... WEIGHT! I scan the barcode and their the Pineapple Juice down then scan the Orange Juice again... Sorted!!
I leave and an limping home when the rain and wind gets heavier again. I talk myself out of getting chocolate milk shake from the Tamil Tigers as it will be far too expensive and not sensible.
I get 100 yards from my house, have had my hood blown off several times when I realise I did not get the Cholesterol lowering yogurt drinks as well as the margarine I wanted too!!
SON OF A WHOOOOOORE!!!!! (Steve Smith of American Dad impersonation after being scratched in the face for the umpteenth time by a crazy cat with a mad vendetta against him, lol!)
I do things like that sometimes as it kind of helps me cope and stops me knocking someone spark out with my wing chun ahhh!!!
Only the other day I was spreading to someone about the mental health sufferers being abandoned and cast out by the government and DWP. I stated that I had not only had a conversation a conversation with a Psychiatrist, that this will not end well and continue to not end well. I also stated that I had indeed mentioned this on posts in here several times. Despite my simple but understandable, unless your a naive idiot, frustrations with head in the clouds people there was always the danger that people would be killed by people with mental health issues. What I have not pointed out and like to think people spotted the link is that I already proved this with experiences a lot closer to home. My daughter! My ex is not completely barking mad, others may think otherwise, but she is barking nevertheless. No she is not dangerous in the idea of going up and stabbing someone out pushing them in front of a train. But she still remains dangerous. My daughter and at least one of her brothers has come close to death several times but through neglect. Neglect that attend from the fact she has a serous mental issue that has been ignored by the NHS to the point whereby it was going to scree up my daughters life and that of my grandchildren and make no mistake.
This is Hypopituitarism like that seen on the film Orphan. Not quite as serious and not quite as tiny by tumours of the pituitary can affect many things to do with hormones and produce to much of to little. It was completely ignored by the council, courts, barristers and solicitors and yet I was proved correct and my horror story predictions came to be reality though I wished they had not for once.
This has been the case for twenty years now and technically a few years longer than that...
I ask for help based on my problems and/or predictions and every single time I was not taken seriously, not even enough to do a thorough check on my claims. Only it turned out a miracle indeed that no one lost there lives in all this, wish that could be try of both my father and my grandmother. Even my Uncle! I know and have discovered sooo many things since they departed that they would be astonished and would want to hear every word of what I had to say. They would have already have read this entire blog, that is for sure. All three were always curious about what makes the world and people go around. They would be scratching their cubs with interest and possibly by bouncing my theories off them may make them raise that by combing this with their own come up with an answer? Or cone out with something uniquely smart and apple me to come up with the answer?
I do so very much miss that. Very little I get to do that today and only Old and Red Ken did last come close to doing that. There are occasions with another friend where we touch on philosophical meanderings but the world dies not want people to think to long for themselves. If they do they might see through the charade. So everyone seems to do what is expected of them and only manage the odd whinge which does not really amount to anything. Nor achieve anything.
Oh well it's only a day after all, or two. Possibly, God I would eager that all Fibromyalgia sufferers that have no one to rely on bloody well hate Christmas. I have been able to enjoy the Christmas spirit of things for the first time in over a decade the last couple. But due to the Fibro everything others make it unbearable. Plus I do not actually witnesses very much in the way of Christmas spirit, lol.
I have long since planned that eventually I will spend all my Christmas' somewhere typically picture postcard in looks with guarantee snow.
That was the absolutely last pre-Christmas shopping I well ever have to endure. This will also be the very last ever Christmas not in my ideal and dream setting but quite where it will be next year I do not know.
Maybe someone out there and currently completely unknown and faceless will actually show me the way, in one way or another?
Stranger things have happened. :)
An insight into doing what should be a simple chore, which is part three of six chores. Because I cannot do it all at once, unfortunately, and therefore spend about 6 days in pain and biting my lip to not thump someone. That is why I do not shop on weekends, Saturday especially. I try to AVOID tricky, awkward, very embarrassing and explosive situations. I do try and I have stated that on this blog several times in the last ... err umm eighteen months, lol.
I am doing OK in this respect and this far?! There is always that writer that one of these days some utter twat who otherwise deserves it will wake up in intensive care and I have to end up in court and trying to defend myself and explain that I have tried so very hard to be responsible and avoid this. I will try in vain to explain that this is a direct result and the fault of the NHS, DWP and local councils because of their lying and cheating attitude to disabled and the Piotr while living their own pockets. They will keep sarcastically asking for evidence of this and I will constantly answer that his can they expect anyone to come up with evidence against the authorities we are taught to trust. This will continue for awhile before one time they will ask me again in their attempt to blacken my name, cast doubt upon my character and try to have me thrown in jail and I will answer...
"Oh wait a minute?! I have BLOG!!!! It is all time stamped, contains all letters, emails, recordings and many other things..." and if being heard by either a jury or just judges I can simply say that "all I need is a computer with an Internet connection to provide all my proof for every single thing all in one go?!"